


All I Want

by LHStylinson



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Famous Harry, Fluff, Harry doesn't know he's a father, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Mpreg, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Inspired by Music, Kid Fic, M/M, Mutual Pining, Past Relationship(s), Protective Liam, Smut, Teacher Louis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-06
Updated: 2016-05-16
Packaged: 2018-04-19 03:13:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 22
Words: 289,298
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4730747
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LHStylinson/pseuds/LHStylinson
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Harry and Louis got together it wasn’t under the best circumstances. Louis was taken by another. But go figure that the way they ended up together is the very same way it ended. And Harry left Louis. He left him with a lot more than he thought. A story about how people’s misconceptions almost destroyed a love that went beyond measure.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue: Leave Your Lover Part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's so good to be writing again !! Alright, so how this is going to work is the prologue is split into two chapters, this obviously being the first one. Not all of the chapters will be this long, I promise, this was just to get things moving. 
> 
> There is also a playlist at the bottom of this chapter, it will be updated along with the story !!
> 
> I would like to thank Yenny for giving me the idea for this fic and being with me every step of the way while writing it and beforehand, basically being my rock, so thank you oh so very much !! This couldn't have been done without you !!!
> 
> I know some of you have been waiting since the end of Back to the Beginning for me to post something new, and thank you for being patient with me, but here it is !! I hope you enjoy !!

                                                                      

 

Louis released a deep breath as he entered the large lecture room, his hand wrapping around the strap of his backpack tighter while he managed to shuffle his feet forward and find his name card on the table, telling him where he would be sitting.

Louis Tomlinson: Row E seat 36

It seemed simple enough. So Louis made his way towards the stairs in the middle of the room, taking one step at a time before he found the row he was looking for on the left side of the stairs.

Thankfully there was no one in the row so far, so Louis didn’t have to shuffle past anyone on his way to his seat. And as soon as he sat down did he feel his nerves pick up a bit.

This class was important, no, it was more than important if he wanted his degree, so Louis was determined to make sure nothing would get in his way of passing this class with flying colors.

He reached into his backpack, pulling out all of his pens, just in case he needed a new one quickly and laid them out on the table before reaching for his notebooks. He made sure he had everything on his desk before he began his organizing process.

Louis had his tongue sticking out between his lips, his eyebrows furrowed in concentration as he straightened one of his five pens out on the desk. Only once his pens were lined up perfectly did he turn his attention to his notebooks, making sure one was neatly on top of the other. But of course as he did that one of his pens moved from it’s place.

He was nervous to say the least and even if he had to check, double check and then triple check to make sure he had everything, and everything was in it’s place it was more than worth it for this class.

“You don’t happen to have four extra pens, do you?”

Louis jumped at the sudden voice, but not before opening his mouth, looking up and immediately closing it as he saw a bright pair of green eyes looking down at him with an amused smile. “U-uhm I do actually, I have a bunch-...” he said, quickly pointing to his line of pens on his desk, but that was before he heard the guy laughing as he shook his head at him. “And you’re making fun of me…” Louis said through an airy laugh as he looked down at his folded hands in his lap.

“No, I’m just impressed,” he said through a small smile, taking a seat next to Louis. “You’re making me feel really inadequate,” he held up his one pen and then pointed to his single notebook on the desk.

Louis couldn’t help but bite his lip to keep back a quiet laugh as he realized how ridiculous he looked. “I swear normally I’m not like this, this class is just really important,” he muttered out quickly. “I’m actually the world’s most disorganized person ever. Trust me, by this time next week my notebooks will be tattered and my pens will be no where to be found.”

The boy just looked at him for a moment, dimples popping out as he smiled and shook his head. “Who ever would’ve thought that a creative writing class could be important,” he said through a small laugh.

“Well when you’re on the path to becoming a drama teacher it’s kind of necessary,” Louis breathed out, still a bit more than stressed as he thought back to how this class could ruin him. “Are you a drama or liberal arts major too?” he asked with furrowed eyebrows, not ever seeing this boy in any of his other classes.

“No, no,” the boy shook his head as he laughed to himself. “I’m actually a musician,” he said through a small smile.

Louis hummed, definitely able to see this guy as a musician. He had that laid back, couldn’t care less look. His curls pushed up and off his head, a loose plaid shirt, skin tight black jeans and boots. His eyes were bright and dimples impossible to miss when he smiled, and it almost made Louis jealous that he could look so good in such simple things.

But then of course he was caught staring and Louis couldn’t help but turn away quickly, feeling his cheeks heat up as he cleared his throat and tried to focus on anything else. If it counted for anything he could see out of the corner of his eye that the guy was smiling, so at least he wasn’t completely freaked by getting subtly checked out by a stranger.

Louis tried to make himself seem busy so he wouldn’t be caught in another embarrassing moment. He watched as more and more students flittered into the room, trying to get to their seats on time before the professor came in. At least now he was happy about showing up early. He would’ve hated to be stuck in that crowd at the bottom of the stairs, each one of them trying to figure out where to go.

As Louis looked around the room he could feel a pair of eyes watching him, and it wasn’t a big mystery as to who it was making it that much worse. Thankfully though a second later Louis felt his phone vibrate in his pocket and when he pulled it out he saw Matt’s name flash across the screen.

He smiled to himself, thinking that maybe he was wishing him good luck since he was a mess leaving the flat early this morning and Matt clearly saw that he was nervous.

**From Matty!! : You didn't pick up your dishes in the wake of the tornado you left behind you this morning. Can you do them before I get home ?**

Or maybe he wasn’t wishing him luck...

Louis let out a quiet breath as he looked over the screen and rested his forearms on his notebooks. He didn't want to deal with this, didn't want to talk to Matt if he was in one of his moods, and just as he was about to put his phone away he heard a door slam open, followed by a very loud older man nearly yelling, causing him to jolt in his seat, push his notebooks forward and making all of his pens fall onto the floor of the row before him.

Louis watched in horror as every single one of his pens fell to the floor below him, absolutely unable to get a single one without disrupting the class and interrupting the teacher that had just started his lesson.

He felt himself freeze before looking around frantically, trying to figure out what to do. And just as he was about to have a full blown freak out, the teacher talking a mile a minute and he was missing valuable notes he saw a hand come into view and placing a pen right beside his notebook.

Louis swallowed thickly as he looked to the boy next to him and opened and closed his mouth. "What about you?" he barely whispered, knowing that the curly haired lad didn't have another pen.

The boy shrugged as he looked over to Louis and offered him a small smile. "I'll just listen," he said quietly, turning back to the front of the classroom.

And again Louis opened and closed his mouth, trying to figure out what to say, or how to thank this stranger. But instead he found himself just staring at the boy again, only for him to look over at Louis, grin even wider to himself before nodding towards the front of the room.

So Louis cleared his throat and nodded at him before uncapping the pen and began paying attention to the professor. And even though he tried, and he really, really did he couldn't help but glance over at the green eyed lad next to him, only for him to catch his stare yet again, making his cheeks heat up. And if the same thing happened all throughout their lecture at least this stranger was kind enough to just smile at him, his own cheeks tinted pink.

But thankfully by the end of the lecture Louis had pages full of notes and a plan to thank this amazing stranger. So when they were dismissed Louis was quick to turn to the boy next to him, only to see him already looking at him.

“Uhm hey,” he said before biting his lip and looking to the pen in his hand. “Here’s your pen back and I just wanted to say thank you, and I was wondering if maybe you wanted to-”

“Are you asking me out?”

Louis felt his jaw go slack as he saw the curly haired lad smirking and raising his eyebrows at him.  “What? No, no of course not,” he said quickly as he shook his head. He did have a boyfriend after all. “I was just going to ask if you wanted to get coffee. As a thank you of course.”

“Sounds like a date to me,” the boy hummed as he stood up from his seat and grabbed his messenger bag. “But I will accept your non date invitation for one thing… What’s your name?” he asked through a small smile.

Louis let out an airy laugh as he packed his own things and slung his backpack strap over his shoulder. “M’Louis,” he said quietly through his own grin.

“Louis,” the green eyed lad said, letting it roll off his tongue. “I like it.”

“Uhm thanks, I guess… And you are?”

The green eyed lad smiled to himself as he looked at Louis. His grin reaching his eyes and dimples in full view as he stuck his hand out to shake. “Harry... Harry Styles.”

*~*

Louis slapped a hand over his mouth, desperately trying to not spit his tea out as he laughed. His sides were hurting and his face was red from how much he’s been laughing and it’s been like this for Louis doesn’t even know how long.

Harry was charming, hilarious and unfortunately incredibly good looking but if anything Louis just enjoyed his company. He was more than easy to talk to and with three teas and two cookies down he would say he knew the green eyed lad well. Or at least well enough to maybe call them friends.

“So let me get this straight…” Louis said through his laughter as he steadied his tea in his hands. “You were in the middle of a song and some drunken idiot wearing an Annie dress joined you on stage, and then the two of you sang It’s a Hard Knock Life together? No way. There is no way in hell that actually happened,” he said, shaking his head and hiding his smile as he sipped at his drink.

“Believe what you want but it happened at the pub down the street. Ask the bartender, I’m sure he has a video of it,” Harry said as he chuckled to himself and picked up his own coffee. “I’m not even sure he was drunk, maybe just extremely eccentric and looking for a good time.”

Louis hummed as he smiled to himself and finished off his fourth cup of tea. He’s never met anyone like this guy before. Someone who has so many ridiculous stories and horrid jokes that are impossible not to laugh at. Someone who he can so easily talk to even though they met mere hours ago. It was simple, and actually more fun than he’s had in a while.

Lately with Matt it’s been the same routine. They wake up, have breakfast, he goes to his classes while Matt goes to work, come home and more often than not order take out before watching tv on the couch and then going to bed.

So this was a definite change of pace and Louis wasn’t going to lie and say that he wasn’t having a great time. But as if on cue he felt his phone buzzing in his pocket, and he pulled it out only to see Matt's name flashing across the screen.

"Hey babe, what's up?" Louis breathed into the phone, finding it nearly impossible to not feel Harry's eyes on him.

"Hey, where are you? I'm at the flat and the dishes from this morning aren't done. Did you just not come home after your class?"

Louis furrowed his eyebrows as he pulled his phone away from his ear, only to check the time and see that he and Harry have been sitting here for over four hours. "Matt I am so so sorry, I'm just out with a friend and lost track of time," he said, noticing Harry not so subtly watching him. "I'll head home now if you want, I'll even pick up dinner."

"No you don't have to get dinner. I already called for chinese and ordered your usual, thanks though. But if you could start heading home that would be nice. I want to hear all about your class."

Louis smiled to himself as he could hear Matt grinning through the phone. He was happy at least his boyfriend remembered how important his class was to him. "Of course, yeah, I'll head home now."

He heard Matt say his goodbye’s and Louis said his own before hanging up and shoving his phone in his pocket.

“Who was that?” Harry asked with raised eyebrows. “Girlfriend? Boyfriend? Fuck buddy maybe?”

Louis pressed his lips together to keep in his laugh as he rolled his eyes. “Boyfriend,” he muttered. “To whom I should be getting home to.”

“Wait a second,” Harry said, stopping Louis from getting up from his seat. “What’re you doing later this week? I was wondering if you wanted to go out.”

Louis furrowed his eyebrows at the curly haired lad. “I just told you I’m dating someone…”

“And?” Harry asked confused.

Louis opened and closed his mouth, not sure if this guy was being serious. “And I’m not going on a date with you.”

Harry just looked at him for a moment, only for an amused to smile to spread across his face as he shook his head. “I never said anything about a date… You did.”

And again Louis opened and closed his mouth, unsure of what to say.

“I mean if you want me to I can ask you on a date,” Harry said through a small smile as he raised his eyebrows at the blue eyed lad.

“Well isn’t that quite forward of you,” Louis said as he laughed to himself and picked up his backpack. “But no thank you to the date. We can definitely go out some time though,” he said happily, already accepting Harry's phone to put his number in.

“So it’s not a date out, but just mates going out?” Harry asked teasingly to clarify as he watched Louis type his cell number in.

“Correct,” Louis said with a single nod, giving the phone back to Harry.

“Damn. You would look so good in a suit,” Harry breathed out through a smile as he shook his head and looked over Louis.

“You’re quite the charmer Styles,” Louis hummed as he stood up from his seat and slung his backpack strap over his shoulder. “I’ll be expecting a text from you later.”

“Of course,” Harry said as he offered Louis a small grin, “Tell the boyfriend to watch his back. Who knows? I might come and sweep you away with my charm and devastatingly good looks,” he said jokingly.

Louis rolled his eyes but still couldn’t fight off his own smile as he looked down at Harry. “Yeah, I’m sure that’ll happen,” and with that and a wink sent from Harry Louis was out the door.

It was almost as if there was a skip in his step as he headed in the direction of his flat. He hasn't even known Harry a day but he felt like he's known him for much much longer.

He was the most fun and carefree 20 year old he's ever met. He was sweet and funny, and overall just fun to be with and talk to, always having something witty or completely ridiculous to say. And for Louis it was more than fun to hang out with someone who wasn't one of Matt's mates, or was even the same age as him since his boyfriend and all his friends were at least 24.

It wasn't like he didn't have his own mates, of course he had Liam but Matt and him weren't really fond of each other so that always got a bit complicated. But it was nice to have someone else besides Liam or Matt to talk to.

Louis made his short walk to his flat building and rode the lift up until he reached his floor. And once he made it inside he dropped his backpack by the front door and kicked off his shoes.

But it wasn't even a second later he felt a strong pair of arms wrap around him and a pair of lips connect to his neck.

"Hi love," he said through a small smile as he turned around in Matt's arms and kissed him quickly. "Good day?"

"Great day," Matt said through his own grin as he pecked Louis' nose, making the younger lad giggle. "How about you? First day of the new semester and all."

"It was surprisingly great," Louis said happily. "My class went really well and I met this guy, seriously babe he's so funny and nice, you would love him!" he rushed out through a wide smile as he wrapped his arms around Matt's neck.

Matt raised his eyebrows as he looked down at Louis. "You meet him in your class or something?"

"Yeah he sits next to me and he let me borrow his pen even though he didn't have a second one and then we went out for coffee and just talked and talked and-"

"Alright, yeah, I get it," Matt breathed out as Louis began rambling and he released the younger lad before heading towards the kitchen. "Can you do your dishes from this morning before the food gets here?"

Louis bit his lip, always hating when Matt went from happy go lucky to moody and distant. It was constantly like this and for once Louis wished his boyfriend could just pick a mood and not go back and forth between the two.

"Yeah, I'm sorry I didn't do them earlier," Louis said quietly as he made his way towards the kitchen, and just as he opened his mouth to say something to Matt he stopped  himself seeing that his boyfriend grabbed a beer and made his way to the living room.

So Louis turned back to the sink and did the two dishes from this morning. He really didn't see what the big deal was or why Matt was freaking out about it, but the older lad always was a bit over dramatic about everything.

And just as he had finished his dishes he heard a sharp knock at the door.

"Get that," Matt muttered, never taking his eyes off the tv.

Louis couldn't help but roll his eyes as he made his way to the door, and opening it to reveal the chinese food delivery guy. But just as Louis reached into his pocket he didn't have any money. And of course when he asked Matt for money his boyfriend did nothing but complain about how he had bought the last two times before shoving some bills into the delivery guy's hand and taking the food from him.

"What's up with you? I thought you said you had a good day?" Louis asked slightly annoyed. Matt was always a little moody the later it got into the day but this was just ridiculous.

"I did have a good day," Matt said as he took a seat on the couch, opened his food container and locked his eyes back on the tv.

"Then what's your problem?" Louis asked as he raised his eyebrows at the older lad.

"It's the second half and my team is losing," Matt muttered before shoving some more food in his mouth.

"That's it?" Louis asked, not really believing him.

"Yup," Matt said as he popped the 'p' and took a swig of his beer.

Louis looked at his boyfriend for a second before shaking his head at him and taking a bite of his food. He always had to remind himself that not all days were good days. Sometimes Matt was just in a funky mood and Louis figured that since they've been together for nearly a year he should be used to his boyfriend’s mood swings.

“What classes do you have tomorrow?” Matt asked as he glanced over at Louis and then back to the tv before taking a bite of his food.

“The same creative writing class I had this morning and then choir. I’m a bit nervous for choir though… This year I auditioned up for the all boys choir and I got in but I just hope I don’t have the highest voice there or anything, it’d just be embarrassing,” Louis said quietly as he bit his lip.

Matt quickly shook his head as he swallowed his food and kept his eyes on the tv. “No way babe, your voice is incredible. I mean yeah it’s a bit higher than most guys, but that’s what makes it unique. And who knows? Maybe you’ll get a solo or something cause no one else can reach the notes you can.”

Louis couldn’t help his small smile as he looked over to Matt and saw the older lad already grinning back at him.”Thanks love,” he said softly before leaning over to kiss his boyfriend’s cheek, only for Matt to turn his head and capture his lips.

Matt hummed against him, making Louis’ smile grow before his boyfriend pulled away and turned back to the tv.

“Anything going on at work tomorrow or-”

“Hang on Lou, just wait till next commercial,” Matt said, returning his focus back to the tv now that the game was on again.

Louis let out a quiet breath but nodded as he turned back to the tv and took another bite of his food. But a second later his phone started ringing, making him breathe out a “sorry” to Matt and reach into his pocket.

He saw a number he didn’t recognize flash across the screen but with Matt continuing to side eye him as it rang he answered it and pressed the phone to his ear. “Hello?”

“Schmidt’s bar on Marks street, what do you say?”

“... Harry?” Louis asked through a quiet laugh. “What are you-”

“Can you please take that somewhere else?” Matt breathed out before taking a swig of his beer.

“Sorry,” Louis muttered, pushing himself off the couch and heading towards the bedroom.

“Who was that guy? Sounds like a dick,” Harry said, clearly trying to talk over the noise of a crowded room before it sounded like he walked through a door and it went quiet.

“That was my boyfriend,” Louis said as he made his way into the bedroom and closed the door behind him.

“Well he still sounds like an arse and the only thing I’m sorry about is him being your boyfriend,” Harry laughed into the phone.

Louis couldn’t help but roll his eyes and try to bite back his smile as he took a seat on his bed. “What do you want Styles?” he asked through a small laugh.

“Is that any way to talk to someone who wants nothing more than to drag you down to city square and get you properly drunk?”

“...It’s Wednesday,” Louis said with furrowed eyebrows.

“And you’re 20 so get out and live!!” Harry said excitedly through the phone. “C’mon I’m at Schmidt’s with my mate and it’d be cool if you came.”

Louis nibbled on his bottom lip, unsure about going out in the middle of the week. It would be fun to do something spontaneous like this though. And it would be nice to meet even more people his own age.

“Alright, uhm yeah… I’ll go,” Louis said through a small smile. “Gimme like 20 minutes and I’ll be there.”

“Yes!!” Harry cheered. “You Louis Tomlinson are in for quite the night!”

Louis couldn’t help but laugh to himself and mutter a “sure” into the phone before hanging up and looking through his closet to find something to wear.

The last time he went out randomly like this was probably with Liam a few months ago before he moved in with Matt. And Louis has to say that that night was probably one of the best nights he's ever had, but the more Louis thought about it the more he would like nights like those.

So when he had a fresh outfit on and his hair was perfectly quiffed Louis made his way back into the living room, but jumped at his boyfriend’s sudden voice.

“Where are you going?”

“I’m meeting up with Harry. Remember I told you about him today?” Louis asked as he pulled his fall coat on and made sure he had his keys.

Matt looked at his boyfriend and hummed before glancing back at the tv and pushing himself off the couch.

“What’re you doing?” Louis asked confused as he watched the older lad turn off the tv and reach for his own coat.

“I’m coming with you. We haven’t been out in a while plus you seem to like this guy a lot even though you’ve only known him for a day,” Matt breathed out as he opened the door for Louis.

“Oh, okay,” Louis said happily. “I think you’ll really like him babe, he’s really funny. Plus his other mate is there so it should be fun.”

“Where are we going?” Matt asked, not really paying attention to what his boyfriend was saying as he followed him down the hall.

“He’s at Schmidt’s,” Louis said as he stepped into the lift with Matt following him.

“Good, the game should be on there. They have a couple tv’s don’t they?”

Louis shrugged, only having been to this bar maybe three times before. “If you want to watch the game so bad just stay at the flat.”

Matt looked over at the younger lad and let out a deep breath before shaking his head and snaking an arm around his waist. “No, I want to go out with you,” he said softly as he pulled Louis into his side and kissed his temple.

Louis couldn’t help but smile to himself as he stood on his toes and pressed his lips to Matt’s. “And please, try to be nice to Harry. I swear he means no harm,” he said, knowing his boyfriend was more than the jealous type.

“Yeah… We’ll see about that,” Matt said slowly.

*~*

Harry looked to the drink in his hand, the icecubes swirling around before he lifted the glass to take a sip. And even when he gulped his drink he couldn’t help but look to the door, waiting to see if a certain brunette haired boy had walked through yet.

“If I didn’t know H I would say you were a little excited for this guy to come.”

Harry rolled his eyes as he looked over at his best mate and took another gulp of his drink, succesfully finishing it off. “Niall I’m just excited to have a fun night out with my mates, that’s it.”

“Hmh, sure,” Niall hummed through a small smirk. “What’s the deal with this guy anyway? Didn’t you just meet him today?”

“Yeah he was in one of my classes,” Harry shrugged. “But there’s no ‘deal’ with him, he’s just cool.”

“And hot...”

Harry furrowed his eyebrows as he heard Niall mutter that and looked over at the Irish lad, only to see him staring at something. “What?” he asked, trying to figure out what Niall was looking at.

“That guy over there… Mate if I was gay I’d be all over that, holy shit,” Niall breathed out as he nodded to someone across the bar.

Harry followed where Niall was looking and couldn’t help the wide smile across his face as he recognized the blue eyed lad. “Louis!!” he called out, waving him towards the table.

“You know hot guy?!” Niall whisper shouted as he saw the stranger wave back at Harry and make his way over to the table. “Wait, who is that with him? Do you know him?”

And just as fast as Harry’s smile came did it fade. “No, I don’t know him…”

“Harry!! Hey!” Louis said excitedly as he tugged on Matt’s hand, trying to squeeze them through the small crowd. “This is my boyfriend, Matt,” he said through a wide smile.

“Right, right, the boyfriend,” Harry said quietly as he slid out of the booth, offering the pair a small smile and Matt his hand.

“Oh, so you’ve talked about me?” Matt asked, shaking Harry’s hand as he smiled down at Louis and pulled him into his side with his free arm.

“Of course I talked about you,” Louis said through a soft grin as he leaned into his boyfriend.

Harry bit his lip as he looked between the two and cleared his throat slightly. “So uhm, yeah, I’m happy you guys could come. This is my best mate Niall,” he said, gesturing to the blonde haired lad who was waving happily at the pair.

“Hey, good to meet you,” Louis said happily as he shook Niall’s hand.

“Yeah, you too mate. Heard a lot about you from H,” Niall said, sending the curly haired lad a not so subtle look.

“What? Niall did you you say something about buying the first round? Wow, thanks mate,” Harry said as he clapped the Irishman on the back and nodded towards the bar, just wanting him to get away.

Niall opened and closed his mouth as Louis laughed to himself and slid into the booth. He grumbled out a “fine” before getting out of the booth himself and heading towards the bar.

“So are there any tvs here Henry?” Matt asked as he slid next to Louis and wrapped an arm around him.

Harry furrowed his eyebrows as he sat across from the pair and noticed Matt was looking right at him. “What?” he asked confused.

“Babe it’s Harry, not Henry. C’mon I told you like 10 times,” Louis said as he pat his boyfriend’s thigh.

“Huh? Oh yeah, right, right,” Matt said as he looked around the crowded bar for a tv.

Harry looked at the older lad in disbelief before glancing over to Louis and seeing him mouth out a “sorry”. He waved it off as nothing, but really he didn’t see what Louis saw in this guy. He came off as a total jerk.

“So uhm, Matt what do you do? Are you still in school?” Harry asked, trying to get a conversation going. The older lad seemed more interested in the tv across the room though.

“No, I’m 24 so I have an actual job,” Matt said as he kept his eyes on the tv. “I work at a PR branch for a record label.”

“Babe!!” Louis said excitedly, making both Harry and Matt jump in their seats. “I don’t know why I didn’t think of this!! Harry is a musician! I’m sure you can get someone from work to listen to him!”

Harry felt his jaw go slack, that maybe being the opportunity he needed, but as soon as he looked to Matt he immediately felt his face fall.

“...Uhm, yeah. Maybe I could work that out,” Matt barely muttered.

Harry could see it already. This guy didn’t like him, didn’t want anything to do with him, but Louis was completely oblivious as he smiled widely to himself and kissed his boyfriend.

“Here we are boys!” Niall said happily as he placed four beers on the table and made Harry scootch fully into the booth so he could sit.

Harry reached for one of the beers and stretched his legs out, not purposely tangling his feet with Louis’. And when the blue eyed lad looked at him a bit startled Harry couldn’t help but smile at him and wink. But when he saw Louis duck his head and try to bite back his own grin Harry had to take a sip of his beer to stop his own grin from widening.

Even if Matt was a complete arse Harry thought this could still be fun. As long as Louis was there, their feet were tangled together and drinks were going around, Harry could handle this.

*~*

An hour later and Harry couldn’t do this anymore. At this point even Niall hated Matt and Niall doesn’t hate anyone.

He was rude and obnoxious, and worst of all Louis didn’t notice a thing because even if Matt was treating them horribly he was treating the blue eyed lad like a king. He was constantly touching him, whispering something to him and kissing him, and Harry hated how easily Louis just melted into him.

But Harry doesn’t think he’s ever been happier when Matt said he wanted to leave because he was getting bored and the game was over.

“Babe you ready to head home?” Matt asked as he pulled his coat on and stood up from the booth.

Louis looked up to his boyfriend before glancing back at Harry and seeing him raise his eyebrows at him. “Uhm you know what? I think I’m gonna hang here for a bit,” he said, offering the green eyed lad a small smile.

Matt looked between Louis and Harry before letting out a quiet breath and nodding. “Alright, fine,” he said before finishing his beer. “See you when you get home. Thanks for the drinks Neil,” he said, and without another word he kissed his boyfriend goodbye and left the bar.

“It’s Niall…” the Irish lad muttered under his breath as he rolled his eyes.

Harry pat his best mate’s back, Matt calling him Henry all night, so he knows how it feels. “So, now that he’s gone,” he said turning to Louis and offering him a small smile. “We’re getting you drunk.”

Louis opened and closed his mouth as he looked at the pair across from him with raised eyebrows. “What? No, no, I don’t think-”

“Sorry Lou, you don’t have a say,” Harry said as he chuckled to himself, already flagging down a waitress. “Yes, hello, we’re going to need three beers, six shots of vodka and a fireball for pretty boy,” he said, winking at Louis and making the waitress laugh.

“Wait! No I-” Louis tried to say but the waitress already walked off.

“What’s the big deal mate? C’mon, it’s just a few drinks,” Niall said as he rolled his eyes and chugged the rest of his beer so when the other drinks came he could be more than ready.

“W-well I have class in the morning and uhm, and I don’t know. I-I,” Louis stuttered out, trying to come up with any excuse.

Harry had to bite back a laugh as he watched the blue eyed lad stumble over himself. “Louis I have the same class you do,” he said as he rolled his eyes. “Plus you’re 20, you gotta live a little mate. No more letting your boyfriend hole you up in your flat.”

“What? No, no, he doesn’t hole me up,” Louis said as he shook his head. “We just have a routine, that’s all.”

“I’m sure fucking isn’t in that routine,” Niall said through a snicker.

“Niall!!” Harry said as he hit his best mate’s arm.

“What?!” Niall asked, looking between the two horrified lads. “Seriously he was wound up so tight I felt myself needing to fuck someone just to loosen up.”

Harry shook his head as he looked over to Louis, only to see his cheeks bright pink. “Sorry about him,” he muttered.

Louis opened his mouth to say something but Niall beat him to it.

“Seriously though mate, when’s the last time you guys-”

“Niall!” Harry nearly yelled as he looked to the Irish lad wide eyed.

“I need more drinks if I’m going to deal with this,” Louis breathed out as he rubbed his hands over his face.

“Perfect timing!” Harry said happily as a waitress placed their drinks on the table.

Louis looked at the drinks on the table and now he kind of wished he had gone home. He knew there would be a hangover waiting for him in the morning. But he was 20, and 20 year olds get hangovers before they go to their morning class. 20 year olds have late nights with their mates and forget that night before they go through their phone photos and realize all of the stupid stuff they did. And Louis hasn’t had one of those nights in nearly a year, but tonight he was going to change that.

So without warning Louis reached for one of the shots in front of him and felt the liquid burn down his throat. And just at that Louis felt himself come alive in he doesn’t even know how long.

“There we go Tomlinson!!” Harry said excitedly as Niall cheered next to him. “C’mon, you have one more shot, a fireball and then a beer, let’s go!”

Louis nodded and a moment later his second shot was gone. “Shit this feels so good,” he breathed out before picking up his beer and taking a swig. “Are you boys gonna catch up or just stare at me all night?”

Harry felt his jaw go slack as Niall burst into laughter and he saw Louis raising his eyebrows at him. He couldn’t help but smile at him before picking up his own shot and swinging it back, only earning a wide grin back from the blue eyed lad.

*~*

“Stop… No- no more. Can’t see...” Niall slurred as he sunk further and further into booth.

As Louis looked over at the Irish lad he placed a hand over his mouth and giggled into it before hiding his face in his elbow, trying to stop seeing three of everything.

“You guys are a mess,” Harry mumbled as he shook his head and reached for his beer.

“No Harry!!” Louis said, quickly slapping his hand over Harry’s to stop him. “No more, you can’t!!” he slurred.

“And why can’t I?” Harry asked with raised eyebrows and a small smirk as he looked down at their hands.

“Because you’re so drunk,” Louis said as if it was devastating news.

Harry laughed to himself and rolled his eyes as he picked up his beer, making Louis look at him like he was crazy. “I’m not that drunk Lou, you are,” and the blue eyed lad seemed to slowly register what he said before his eyes went wide.

“I’m drunk?!” Louis nearly yelled. “Oh my God for how long?!”

“I don’t know, we’ve been drinking for like four hours,” Harry said through a quiet chuckle before finishing off his beer.

“Shit…” Niall grumbled as he sat up. “Alright boys, I gotta head home before I fall asleep here,” he slurred before shakily getting up from the booth.

“You can make it back to the flat alright?” Harry asked as he watched his best mate carefully try to pull his coat on.

Niall nodded and mumbled something incoherent before he pat Louis’ head and waved bye to the both of them.

Louis couldn’t help but grin back at the Irish lad and wave back at him sloppily. “Looks like it’s just the two of us,” he said, turning back to Harry.

“Good,” Harry said quietly through a small smile. “Surprised Matt hasn’t called you and asked where you are,” he teased.

“Oh, he has,” Louis slurred slightly as he put his phone on the table. “Like 10 times,” he said, rolling his eyes.

Harry raised his eyebrows at that, this being the first time the blue eyed lad didn’t seem to be head over heels for his boyfriend. “Can I ask how long you guys have been together?”

“9 months,” Louis breathed out before combing his fingers through his hair. "We moved in together about two months ago and if I'm being honest it's been the longest two months of my life," he groaned.

Now this was new information for Harry. He was sure Louis loved his boyfriend, loved living with him, and just being with him. Well at least that's how it seemed. He has only known the guy for a day but maybe Harry could get drunk Louis to share a bit more than sober Louis would.

"Do you not like living with him?" Harry asked as he leaned his arms over the small table.

Louis opened and closed his mouth a few times as he thought about it. "Well I dunno," he slurred slightly as he shrugged. "I thought it would be nice, and we would get closer but since I've moved in he never wants to leave the flat," Louis breathed out. "I just get bored really quickly and every night it's the same thing over and over again."

"But he came out tonight," Harry noted with furrowed eyebrows as he waved to a waitress and asked for another beer quickly.

Louis let out a quiet laugh, one that was muffled into his hand so Harry wouldn't hear him. "I think he's jealous of you," he giggled out.

"Really?" Harry asked, trying to keep back a smile.

"Yeah, I mean I only met you today and I kept trying to talk to him about you because you're so nice and funny and stuff. But he never likes it when I make new guy friends," Louis said through a small pout as he kept trying to make a coaster stand and only got more and more annoyed when it wouldn't stay put. "I only have one other guy friend and that's Liam," he said happily. "He's my best mate in the whole world, I really do love him, he's the best," Louis slurred through a tired smile. "But him and Matt really hate eachother so I haven't seem much of Liam since I moved in with Matt."

Harry bit his lip as he looked at the older lad and couldn't help but think that Matt really did have a fair amount of control over Louis' life. And a relationship shouldn't be like that, Louis especially didn't deserve a relationship like that.

"But I'm seeing Liam tomorrow!!" Louis said suddenly through a wide grin. "He and I are going to lunch!!" he said as if it was a precious gift.

Harry offered him a small smile as another beer was placed in front of him and he picked it up to take a swig. "That sounds nice Lou, I'm sure you guys will have an awesome time," he said softly. "Would you mind if I asked you something else?" He asked, hoping the blue eyed lad wouldn't get upset.

"Sure curly, go ahead! I'm an open book," Louis slurred as he grinned happily to himself.

Harry cleared his throat as he sat up slightly, hoping this wouldn't come off as rude or forward. "What do you see in Matt?... I mean like, what do you get out of your relationship with him?" He asked quietly.

Louis at first seemed a bit thrown off at the question, like he had never really thought about that before. "Well I dunno. He loves me and I love him," he shrugged.

"Yeah but why?" Harry questions further.

"Well for starters he's attractive," Louis said through a chuckle before looking at his folded hands on the table. "And he's smart, and can be funny and loosen up when he wants to," he said quietly.

"Don't you want someone who's fun and loose all the time though?" Harry asked with furrowed eyebrows. "Someone who's willing to do anything to make you smile or laugh? Someone who will love you for everything about you, not just bits and pieces? Have you ever had anything like that?" He asked quietly.

Louis looked at the younger lad for a second before a slow, small smile made it's way to his face. "Are you trying to ask me out again?" he asked.

"What?" Harry asked, almost sputtering his beer. "No, no I just-"

"Maybe you're trying to get me to go out with you. Cause you're all those things. Ya know smart, funny, spontaneous, attractive,-"

And that's all Harry needed to hear before he felt his own grin widening. "First of all you asked me out that first time," he said through a quiet laugh. "And second of all I never said attractive, you did," Harry said as he sent a smirk to the blue eyed lad.

Louis could feel the blood rushing to his face and a furious blush rise on his cheeks as he looked at Harry.

"If it makes you feel better Lou I think you're very attractive too," Harry said, trying to take the embarrassment off the older lad. But he wasn't quite sure it worked since Louis began to just blush more to himself.

"W-well uhm..." Louis cleared his throat, wanting to move off the topic. "No, to uhm, to answer your question, no, I have never had a serious relationship like this before," he said quietly.

Harry hummed and nodded, thinking that was the case before he took another swig of his beer. And before he could even stop Louis he saw the blue eyed lad flag down a waitress before ordering two more shots and a beer for himself. But Harry didn't want to stop Louis. He wanted the late night out, talking about everything and nothing, even if both of them were slurring their words and laughing at ridiculous things.

And as the night wore on Harry saw a spark grow in Louis' eyes, and he wanted to be the one to keep it there. He wanted to be the one that made the blue eyed lad smile and laugh everyday, and he was willing to do anything to make sure that happened.

*~*

"No, no Louis, don't do that!!" Harry said through a loud laugh as he was nearly chasing the older lad down the street.

Thankfully enough he was able to catch up with him and once he did Louis didn't even waste a second before draping his arm over Harry's shoulders to steady himself.

"There we go," Harry said as he chuckled to himself and wrapped an arm around Louis' waist, trying to get him to walk forward. "Alright Lou, you have to help me out a bit cause I have no clue where you live."

"Go to-" Louis slurred before he hiccuped and tripped over his own feet for a second. "Wellington and 5th, an it a uhm it's a big brick," he mumbled, nodding to himself. "Oh!! Flat 4C!" Louis said as if he had just remembered that and was proud of the fact that he did so.

Harry almost gasped as he heard the older lad for some reason making Louis laugh. "Wanna know a secret?" he asked in his own hush slurred tone, making Louis nod furiously. "I live two blocks away from you."

Louis stopped in his tracks and looked at Harry wide eyed like he had been told the most valuable secret ever. "No way?!" He screamed excitedly.

"Yeah way!!" Harry said, his own voice filled with excitement. "We're like neighbors!!"

"Oh my God! I need to call my mum and tell her!!" Louis said through a wide smile before he reached into his pocket and fumbled with his phone. "Mum!!" He screamed into the microphone, making the younger lad clutch his stomach as he laughed to himself. "Guess what?! Me and Harry are neighbors! And that means we can see each other all the time, and I mean like all the time, the entire clock time!!"

Even if Harry wanted to he wouldn't be able to stop himself from laughing as he watched and heard Louis on the phone. His head felt fuzzy, his words coming out even slower than normal and his eyes couldn't focus on a single thing if they depended on it, making what the older lad was saying that much funnier. And when Louis got off the phone he immediately tucked himself back into Harry's side as they continued along the way to his flat building.

"I got her answering machine," Louis said sadly.

"What?!" Harry asked wide eyed as he looked down at the blue eyed lad. "That wasn't even you talking to her?!" he asked, earning a shake of the head from Louis. "Then whose questions were you answering about who I am and how you are?"

“There was a voice in my head asking,” Louis whispered like it was a secret before giggling to himself.

“Oh, okay,” Harry nodded, pretending what Louis said made sense before wrapping his arm back around his waist so the older lad wouldn’t keep stumbling.

The two continued tripping, giggling, joking and stumbling through the streets until they finally made it to Louis’ building. And once they were at the doorstep Harry had to slap a hand over his mouth to hold back a very loud laugh at the sight of Louis trying to just get inside. But because he was such a good person and because he was not nearly as drunk as Louis was, Harry helped Louis inside.

“I know where we are!!” Louis said excitedly as he jumped in place.

Harry rolled his eyes as he looked to the blue eyed lad next to him. “That’s right Lou, we’re in the lift,” he said teasingly.

Louis smiled widely to himself, but his smile quickly faded as he looked around. “Oh my God, we’re trapped!” he nearly yelled. “There’s no way out!! Harry oh my God, what do we do?!” Louis asked, going back and forth between each of the walls and hitting it, trying to find a way out.

Harry bit back a giggle as he watched Louis and then let out a barking laugh when the lift stopped and the older lad thought he had broken “the box”, what Louis referred to the lift as. “Calm down Lou, we’re here,” he said, pulling the brunette haired boy into the hallway.

Louis looked around curiously for a moment before he grinned wildly to himself. And before Harry could even stop him he started skipping down the hall, knowing exactly where he was.

“Harry look!! Look! I live here!!” he said, pointing to a door and jumping in place happily.

Harry raised his eyebrows at Louis and just before he was about to speak up the door in front of them swung open, only to reveal a fuming Matt.

“Matty!” Louis slurred excitedly.

“Keep your voice down,” Matt said through gritted teeth. “It’s past 3 in the morning, what the fuck were you thinking?” he asked angrily before reaching for Louis’ arm and pulling him into the flat.

“Hey, hey,” Harry stepped in taking Matt’s hand off Louis and squaring his eyes at him. “Relax mate… Lou, you alright?” he asked softly.

Louis nodded and hummed at the younger lad before offering him a small smile. “See you in class tomorrow Harry.”

And Harry hated it, he hated to see it, but the spark that was in Louis’ eyes all night had almost completely vanished. “See you tomorrow,” he said softly before grinning back at the blue eyed lad, and then shifting his gaze to Matt, narrowing his eyes at him.

Louis couldn’t even bring up his hand to wave to the curly haired lad before Matt closed the door and abruptly turned to him. He gulped, even being as drunk as he was he could see how furious Matt was.

“Louis what the hell?! I called you a million times, I texted you, I had no clue where you were!”

“I was just at the bar with Harry, that’s it,” Louis said, wanting him to calm down.

“Okay that’s great, but you don’t know anything about him!” Matt said before brushing his fingers through his hair frustratedly. “I don’t know what kind of guy he is, if he’ll hurt you or just do something to you, I was worried sick all night!!”

Louis bit his lip as he looked at his boyfriend, now feeling bad for ignoring him all night and making him stress over nothing.

“I’m not angry… I just… I was worried Lou,” Matt said quietly. “I don’t know Henry-”

“Harry,” Louis breathed out.

“Harry,” Matt corrected himself. “And I just wasn’t comfortable with you being alone with him for so long… I thought you were gonna have a beer or two and then come home.”

Louis kept his eyes on the older lad and now he really felt guilty. But then something popped into his head, something that Harry had asked him earlier and he was having a hard time trying to find the answer.

“Do you love me?” he asked so quietly it was a whisper. It felt ridiculous, asking his boyfriend if he loved him, but right now he just really needed to know.

Matt looked up from the ground and met Louis’ eyes, seeing how nervous he was for the answer. “Of course I do,” he said softly.

“But why?” Louis asked as he felt the older lad’s hands rest on his hips.

“Because,” Matt began quietly before kissing his boyfriend’s nose. “You are the sweetest and most caring person I’ve ever met,” he said gently. “You put everyone before yourself and without question will help someone when they need it.”

Louis had to bite back a smile as he listened to his boyfriend and felt him get pulled into the older lad’s chest, felt his lips on his cheek before they brushed against his ear.

“I love you for everything you are and do… Not just certain little things, but everything,” Matt whispered to him.

Louis pulled away slightly as he wrapped his arms around the older lad’s neck. “Promise?” he asked quietly, this being exactly what he needed to hear.

Matt looked at Louis for a moment, just took his in before cupping his cheek with his hand and pressing their lips together. “Promise,” he mumbled against him, making the younger lad smile to himself.

And before Louis even utter “I love you” back, before he could do anything else he felt the older lad start to move them to their bedroom, and there was no reason for Louis to stop him.

*~*

Harry carefully tried to pull the strap of his messenger bag further on his shoulder as he balanced the two steaming hot drinks in his hand.

He just wanted to check on Louis and make sure he was okay. Especially after last night, Matt didn’t seem too happy and he would feel awful if something happened to Louis because of him.

So when he got to Louis’ flat he knocked on the door, wincing at the pounding feeling in his head. Which actually reminded him he had coffee in his hand and took a grateful sip before the door swung open, of course revealing the one and only Matt.

“Can I help you?” Matt asked with raised eyebrows as he crossed his arms over his chest.

“Yeah, good morning to you too,” Harry muttered as he looked at Matt, noticing he was only in his boxers and his hair dripping wet. “Is Louis here? I have hangover tea and I wanted to walk to class.”

Matt looked at him for a second, his eyes baring into him before he let out a deep breath, like it was a huge inconvenience he was here. “He’s in the shower, should be out in a sec,” he huffed out. “Had to clean up after last night… And this morning,” Matt said, sending the younger lad a wink.

Harry furrowed his eyebrows as he opened and closed his mouth, not quite sure what to say. “Uhm, alright…” he mumbled. “Could you just let him know I’m here?”

Matt hummed and walked a bit into the flat before nodding at Harry, silently telling him to follow him in. “Babe! Henry is here so you guys can walk to class!” he said loud enough so Louis could hear him from the bathroom.

“It’s Harry,” Harry said a bit angered. By now he knew Matt knew his name, but was too much of an arse to actually say it.

“Yeah, here’s the thing, I don’t care,” Matt said as he shrugged to himself.

Harry felt his jaw go slack and just before he was about to say something he saw Louis rushing out of what look like a bedroom with his own hair dripping wet and a towel wrapped loosely around his waist.

“Harry!!” he said excitedly.

“Uhm h-hey,” Harry managed to say before he cleared his throat and peeled his eyes away from the blue eyed lad.

“If I knew you were coming I would’ve been out sooner,” Louis said through a quiet laugh. “Gimme like 5 minutes and we can head to class.”

“Take your time,” Harry said, offering the older lad a small smile.

Matt looked between the two and rolled his eyes as he saw the dopey look on Harry’s face. But once Louis was back in their bedroom with the door closed he turned to the younger lad.

“Listen, I don’t know what your deal is with him, but back off,” he said coldly.

Harry raised his eyebrows at Matt, not really sure where this was coming from. “Louis and I are just mates, you seriously need to relax.”

“I see the way you look at him kid, it’s not like it’s some secret,” Matt scoffed. “But what you need to understand is that Louis isn’t looking for someone with no job, no money, no nothing,” he said, stepping closer to Harry. “He wants a real man, a man who can provide for him.”

“Right…” Harry said slowly as he combed his fingers through his curls. “Well I’m sure you don’t have to worry about me then cause he has a ‘real man’ like you in his life,” he said through a small laugh as he rolled his eyes.

“I’m warning you here,” Matt said angrily. “Stay away from him.”

“And if I don’t?” Harry asked with a challenging smirk.

“I think you forgot something mate,” Matt said lowly. “I work for a record label, and I hear you want to be famous,” he said, and it was almost immediate Harry’s face fell, making Matt smile to himself. “You don’t even want to know how easy it would be for me to tell my company and every other record company in England that a certain curly headed wannabe has no talent and to not waste their time,” he threatened. “Stay away from Louis.”

Harry swallowed thickly, his eyes locked with Matt’s, the older lad refusing to break his glare.

“Ready to go?” Louis asked happily as he came back in the room with his backpack slung over his shoulder.

Harry opened his mouth, wanting to say something but his mouth had gone dry and he could barely feel himself breathing as he looked over to the blue eyed lad. So instead of saying anything he just nodded and offered him a tight lined smile before backing away from Matt.

“Have an amazing day love,” Matt said as he reached for his boyfriend and wrapped his arms around his waist. “Text me later alright?”

Louis nodded as he grinned up at his boyfriend before standing on his toes and pressing their together.

Harry let out a quiet breath as he shuffled awkwardly on his feet, and to make it worse just as he saw Louis about to pull away he watched Matt pull him even closer, and Harry couldn’t stop his blood from boiling. He knew Matt was just dangling Louis in front of him, but it’s not like there was anything he could do to stop it.

“Alright babe,” Louis said through a chuckle as he finally pulled away from his boyfriend. “We really need to get going, but I love you, and I’ll see you for dinner.”

“Love you too,” Matt said softly before pecking Louis’ lips.

Louis smiled back at his boyfriend one more time before turning to Harry and raising his eyebrows at him. “Ready?”

Harry hummed and nodded to himself before heading towards the door with Louis following him. “I uhm, I got you tea cause I know you don’t like coffee,” he said quietly once they were in the hallway. “Wasn’t quite sure how you’d be feeling this morning.”

“You seriously are the best, my God,” Louis said before he gratefully took the cup from Harry. “And I’m surprisingly great,” he said happily. “Last night was just… Amazing.”

Harry raised his eyebrows at that and looked down at Louis as they entered the lift, only to see Louis trying to bite back a smile and hide his blush.

“Matt and I we uh, well we’re just really good right now. Better than we’ve been in a long time,” he said softly. “And this morning he woke me up and had a big breakfast made and then we uhm… Ya know, uhm,” Louis said sheepishly as he shook his head, remembering last night and then this morning’s shower. “But yeah, I’m really great.”

Harry bit his lip as he nodded and the lift stopped, the lobby greeting them before they walked out and onto the busy city street.

“Are you okay? You’re being kinda quiet,” Louis said with furrowed eyebrows before he took a sip of his tea.

“Uhm yeah, m’fine,” Harry said quietly as he brushed his curls out of his eyes. “Just hungover I guess.”

“Oh, I have aspirin if you want some,” Louis offered, already reaching for his backpack’s pocket. “And if you want I’ll take notes during class and you can just copy them later. That way you can relax and just rest up,” he said as he pat Harry on the back and gave him the bottle of pills.

Harry had to almost fight the smile that spread across his face as he looked over at the older lad and took the pills from him. “Thanks Lou.”

And the grin he got back from Louis was enough for Harry to forget what Matt had said to him, well almost forget.

*~*

“It’s my favorite lima bean!!” Louis said excitedly as he nearly ran at his best mate.

“Lou!!” Liam said, already standing up from the table and bounding towards the older lad before crushing him in a hug. “Holy shit, I’ve missed you so much!!” he mumbled into his best mate’s neck.

Louis couldn’t even say anything, he was too overwhelmed with the fact that Liam, his actual best mate was in front of him.

“Okay, okay, I’m done crushing you,” Liam said through a small laugh as he released the blue eyed lad. “Alright mate, you know the drill. Sit, tell me what’s been going on,” he said, pointing to the seat across from him. “First off though I want you to explain the voicemail you left me at 3 this morning,” Liam said as he laughed to himself.

“What voicemail?” Louis asked confused as he got comfortable in his seat.

Liam smirked to himself, expecting Louis to not remember or have no clue what he was talking about. So he pulled his phone out and passed it to his best mate before the voicemail started playing on speaker.

Louis furrowed his eyebrows as he listened but his face almost immediately started heating up as he remembered last night and his call to his mum about where Harry lived. But instead of calling his mum he called Liam. That’s better though. There would be no doubt in his mind that if his mum got that he would get one angry phone call.

But even with Liam listening it was more than embarrassing. He was clearly so drunk, talking about Harry, then some nonsense, before talking about Harry even more. He was slurring and yelling everything, and it was one of those voicemails that your mates use as blackmail, it was that bad.

“So I have a few questions,” Liam said through a smirk once the voicemail finished playing. “But my first and most important question is who is Harry and why are you obsessed with him?” he asked with raised eyebrows.

“I’m not obsessed with him,” Louis said in a matter of fact tone as he rolled his eyes. “He’s just awesome,” he said through a small smile.

Liam raised his eyebrows at that, wanting the older lad to continue.

“He’s just this guy in one of my classes and he’s really cool, super fun to be with and just overall great. It’s actually pretty unfair how great he is,” Louis breathed out as he combed his fingers through his hair and picked up his menu.

“And you like him?” Liam asked through a small smirk, looking over the top of his own menu and to his best mate.

“I’m dating Matt,” Louis said as he rolled his eyes.

“And he’s a fucking dick,” Liam said, annoyed at just the thought of Louis’ boyfriend. “Seriously, please tell me you like this Harry guy so you can leave Matt and we can all be happy.”

“I’ll have you know that I am very happy with my boyfrie-”

“Lies,” Liam interrupted him before shaking his head and looking back down at his menu. “You’ve been miserable since you moved in with him, even before that.”

Louis nibbled on his bottom lip as he listened to his best mate and shrugged. “Last night and this morning were really good.”

“Congrats, two days out of the 8 or 9 months you guys have been together were good,” Liam muttered.

“C’mon that’s not fair,” Louis said quietly. “The first couple months were really great, even you liked him for a bit.”

“Yeah, I liked him up until the point he started threatening me and telling me to stay away from you. Like who the hell does he think he is?” Liam asked annoyed. “Even before that I didn’t like him. I somewhat tolerated him because you liked him, but he was a total arse from day one.”

Louis stayed quiet as he looked to his hands folded in his lap and bit his lip, not really sure what to say.

“Listen,” Liam said softly, wanting the older lad to look at him, and once Louis did he continued. “I know you don’t like it when I talk about him, and I’m sorry. But I hate the way he treats you and the fact that he basically won’t let me see you… Like that’s ridiculous. You deserve someone so much better than that Louis.”

“Harry kinda said the same thing last night,” Louis breathed out. “I don’t think he likes Matt either, and I know Niall doesn’t.”

“Who’s Niall?” Liam asked with furrowed eyebrows.

“Harry’s best mate, he was drinking with us for a bit last night,” Louis filled in.

“Alright, well that’s three of us that don’t like him, and as far as I’m concerned the three of us are your only friends and our opinions matter,” Liam said, trying to further his point.

Louis took in what Liam was saying, and he had never felt so confused. He loved Matt, at least he thought he loved Matt. But then at the same time he couldn’t help but think that if he really loved his boyfriend he shouldn’t have to think about it, he should just know.

Louis was taken out of his thoughts as a waiter came to take their order and once he was gone Liam immediately looked to him.

“So do you like this Harry guy or what?” he asked with raised eyebrows. “Just talking about him you seem really happy.”

“Well of course I like him,” Louis said easily, but once he saw the look Liam was giving him he understood what he really meant. “Would you stop? No, I’m dating Matt,” he said before rolling his eyes and reaching for his water.

“And he’s such a dick,” Liam groaned into his hands. “Like you’ve known this guy for what? A day, and not once have I heard or seen you be this happy with Matt.”

Louis let out a deep breath as he shook his head, not wanting to talk about this.

“Alright, alright, fine,” Liam said, putting his hands up in defeat as he saw the older lad’s face. “Just tell me about him then. You are my best mate, I need to make sure this Harry guy and uhm, what’s his name? Niall? Are good company for you too keep.”

“You’re seriously the most protective person in the world,” Louis said through a small smile.

“And you’re welcome,” Liam said as he laughed to himself. “But seriously, tell me about them.”

“Uhm alright, well Niall is studying to be a teacher like me, for music though, and Harry is studying music in general. He wants to be a musician,” Louis said as he nodded to himself. “I would really love to hear either of them play. Harry says he does a lot of gigs in city square in different pubs and I guess Niall is really good at piano. The three of us actually have a choir class together in a few hours so maybe then I’ll be able to hear them sing something. I actually just had a class with Harry this morning.”

“You had a class with Harry this morning?” Liam asked with furrowed eyebrows.

Louis nodded as the waiter placed their drinks down and picked his own up before taking a sip.

“Why didn’t you invite him to lunch? I would’ve loved to meet him.”

Louis bit his lip as he ran his fingers through his hair. “He uhm… Well I dunno honestly, I would’ve liked you to meet him too,” he said quietly. “This morning he was being really quiet though. And I texted him before I came in here actually to see if he wanted to meet up before choir but he hasn’t answered me.”

“Well don’t worry about it Lou, maybe he’s with someone or is busy,” Liam shrugged.

“It’s just weird,” Louis shook his head. “Like he’s this really bubbly, funny and outgoing guy, but today it was like he wanted nothing to do with me…”

Liam looked at his best mate and even if Louis didn’t want to admit it he could see that the older lad did have a thing for this guy. But he didn’t want to push him. Relationships were always delicate when it came to Louis and right now he seemed to be a bit more than confused with everything that was going on between Matt and Harry.

“Whatever, it’s not a big deal,” Louis shook his head. “I’ve known him a day, it’s nothing.”

Liam nodded and offered him a small smile, knowing Louis could easily start over thinking all of this if he said the wrong thing. “He’s probably busy Lou, maybe he has another class, it’s fine,” he tried to reassure him. “But tell me about him. I mean I want to know what’s so special about him that made you fall in love with him over the course of a day.”

Louis rolled his eyes but couldn’t stop the smile that found it’s way to his face as he looked at his best mate. But he entertained Liam, telling the younger lad what he knew about Harry. About the green eyed lad’s sister that he talked about so much, all the crazy stories he told him and his dream of becoming a famous musician. And if he casually slipped in that Harry may or may not be one of the most attractive people he’s ever seen at least Liam was nice enough not to call him out on it.

*~*

“Louis!!”

Louis looked up as he adjusted his backpack on his shoulder and couldn’t help but smile to himself as he saw the Irish lad already in the choir room. “Hey mate!” he said happily.

“You have no clue how happy I am that you’re in this class now!! I’m a tenor and I’m guessing you are too, so that means we’ll be in the same section, and hopefully next to each other!” Niall said excitedly.

Louis was almost having a hard time keeping up, but he couldn’t miss how happy the younger lad was just from him being there. “Yeah I am a tenor, and it’d be cool if we were next to each other, gives me someone to talk to.”

“Exactly!” Niall said as he clapped his hands together. “H is a baritone, and he’s not even here today so-”

“Wait, what?” Louis asked with furrowed eyebrows. “But he was in class this morning,” he said confused. “I mean like, he picked me up and he walked me to class, why isn’t he here?”

Niall opened his mouth to say something, just before a small smirk made it’s way to his face. “He walked you to class huh?” he asked amused.

“Uhm, yeah,” Louis said as he scratched the back of his neck. “And I texted him a couple hours ago but he never answered me, is he alright?”

“Oh, he’s fine,” Niall shrugged like it was nothing. “He’s just working on a new song right now and our teacher adores him so he’s letting H miss this class. It is the first day after all, it’s no big deal.”

Louis raised his eyebrows at that, not believing that a teacher could love a student so much that he’d let him miss a class to work on a song. And just as he was about to open his mouth to say something the teacher made his way up to the front and got everyone’s attention.

“Alright, alright, quiet down!” he said, earning immediate silence. “For those of you that don’t know I’m professor Schultz, but please, call me Dean, I hate that professor stuff. So, if you could all get on the bleachers, find your section and we’ll get started.”

Louis looked over to Niall, having no clue where their section was before the irish lad smiled at him and nodded to the right side of the bleachers.

“Mr. Horan, if you please, today you’ll be playing piano since Harry isn’t here,” Dean said, getting him before he took his place in his section.

Niall let out a small huff, having a feeling he would have to this because of Harry’s absence. “Only for you Dean,” he muttered through a small smile before taking a seat in front of the piano.

Louis bit his lip, now feeling his nerves pick back up that Niall wasn’t with him. But at least he knew he was in the right spot when he looked to the Irish lad and he smile and nodded at him. So Louis grinned back at him, happy that he knew at least one person here today. But he also learned something, and that was that Harry was basically the star of the choir, and not only that, but he also played piano for the choir. And now more than ever did Louis want to hear the younger lad play something, just anything, because he must be pretty amazing if he was put so high up on this pedestal.

But by the end of class Harry still wasn’t there and Louis really wasn’t all that surprised. However he was surprised by Niall’s piano playing skill and his voice that was definitely better than any of the other tenors. And Louis was also more than relieved that he felt so comfortable here. He was nervous he would stick out and not be nearly as good as everyone else, but he worried for no reason.

“Hey Lou!” Niall called after the older lad, trying to catch him before he walked out of the room.

“What’s up mate?” Louis asked through a soft smile.

“You wanna grab some dinner? Haz is still working on his song or whatever and I need a friend,” Niall pouted, trying to guilt him.

Louis’ grin widened as he thought about it and nodded, this being a nice opportunity to get to know Niall better. “Sure, lead the way,” he said happily.

Niall was nearly jumping for joy as he heard that and Louis couldn’t help but roll his eyes as he pulled his phone out to text Matt.

**To Matty!!: Going to dinner with Niall, I’ll text you when I’m coming home :)**

*~*

“So, you and Harry have known each other for how long?” Louis asked before taking a bite of his burger.

“I moved to England in Year 11 and we’ve been best mates since then,” Niall said happily with his mouth full. “We were both really into music so ya know we bonded over that and stuff.”

“That’s nice,” Louis said through a soft smile. “And now you guys live together and everything, that’s cute.”

Niall laughed to himself as he shrugged and shoved more fries in his mouth. “Oh, I know, we’re the cutest.”

“I dunno Niall, my best mate and I might beat you and Harry out for the cuteness award.”

“Try me,” Niall said challengingly.

“We grew up together,” Louis said simply before taking another bite of his food. “Our mum’s are friends, so I’ve known Liam since we were babies. We learned how to walk and talk together. Grew up being power rangers and super heros, and not once have we stopped being best mates.”

Niall felt his smile drop as he let out a small huff. “Fine, you win,” he muttered. “That’s really cute and I hate you for it.”

“You don’t hate me,” Louis said, rolling his eyes.

“I know,” Niall breathed out, actually really liking the blue eyed lad.

Louis laughed to himself as he rolled his eyes and just as he was about to say something he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket.

**From Harry: Queen’s Pub, 9 pm. Don’t tell Matt.**

Louis furrowed his eyebrows at the message, this being the first text from Harry he’s gotten all day. And to make it more confusing he didn’t understand why he couldn’t tell Matt.

“Uhm, so Harry texted me-”

“Queens Pub?” Niall asked, already knowing what Louis was going to say. “Yeah, he has a gig tonight. I was gonna tell you but he told me not to cause he wanted to himself or something. I dunno, he’s crazy,” he shrugged.

“Alright, but is there a reason I can’t tell Matt?” Louis asked with furrowed eyebrows.

Niall stopped his chewing for a second before swallowing and biting his lip. “Uhm yeah…” he said quietly.

“Why?” Louis asked confused.

Niall nibbled his lip, not quite sure what to say or if he should say anything. Harry had told him what Matt said to him, well what Matt threatened him and he didn’t want to get in the middle of it.

“There’s a uhm, a capacity limit in the pub and I’m sure they sold all the tickets, H is really popular there,” he rushed out, trying to come up with anything. “You can’t get in without a ticket, so I guess Harry doesn’t want you to waste Matt’s time or something, he wouldn’t even be let in.”

Louis opened and closed his mouth still a bit confused, but dropped the subject, at least happy that he got to see Harry perform tonight. And maybe he could ask the younger lad why he’s been acting weird all day.

*~*

“Niall!! Niall you can’t rush ahead, I have no clue where I’m going!!” Louis screamed over the crowded pub.

And a second later Louis felt a hand grab his arm and start pulling him in the direction of where a small stage was set up with a piano and guitar.

When Niall said Harry was popular he didn’t think he meant this popular. It was a Thursday night and there were so many people there was barely enough room to move, but somehow Niall managed to squeeze them towards the front, not without grabbing two beers from one of the waitresses.

“Perks of being mates with the performer, free drinks!” Niall said happily. “And a table!!” he said before thanking the person saving a table near the stage for them and taking a seat.

“These people must really love Harry,” Louis said, accepting the beer Niall was offering him.

“You have no clue mate,” Niall scoffed. “He plays here every Thursday and every Thursday it’s packed, it’s nuts.”

“Does he have other gigs?” Louis asked before taking a sip of his beer.

“Yeah, Thursday through Saturday he’s got gigs at different pubs and usually other nights people will call him and ask him to perform. It’s pretty awesome if I’m being honest. I just hope someone will find him soon and offer him a record deal or something, he’s worked so hard, he deserves it.”

Louis smiled to himself as he listened to Niall and he couldn’t even imagine how hard it’s been for Harry the past couple years, trying to convince people to let him play and get a fanbase going all the while going to school. But he thought he could help. Louis was sure there was at least one person at Matt’s job that would be willing to listen to him, and he knew a couple of the people at the record company, maybe he could pull a few strings.

“Queens Pub, how’re we doin tonight?!”

Louis jumped in his seat at the all too familiar voice and the bar cheering and clapping like crazy. He looked up and of course there was Harry, gripping the microphone in front of him with one hand and a wide smile plastered on his face.

“Good, good, just what I love to hear!” Harry said happily as he scanned over the crowd, only to get stuck on a certain blue eyed lad and smiling softly at him.

Louis bit his lip, trying to hold back his own grin as he saw Harry looking down at him. Luckily though the younger lad went back to entertaining the crowd, introducing himself and once he was done with that he picked up his guitar. And it was almost immediate Harry started playing, the sounds of the guitar filling the pub and making Louis lock his eyes on the younger lad.

Already Louis could see he was great, amazing even. His fingers picking so effortlessly and his foot stomping with the beat before he leaned into the microphone and began singing. And at that even if Louis wanted to he doesn’t think he would’ve been able to stop his jaw from going slack.

Everyone in the pub was singing along to the song, and some were just screaming and cheering and Louis couldn’t believe it. That pedestal everyone seemed to put Harry on made sense now, because he truly was incredible. It was like he was born to entertain, supposed to be a singer, and the smile that Harry had the entire time showed just how much he loved what he did.

Harry had complete control up there, he wrote the lyrics, wrote the music and it was evident just how much everyone loved him from how they were singing to every song, whether he was playing it on the piano or on the guitar. And everything, no matter what it was he was doing people went crazy over it, even his horrid jokes and when he tripped over a cord that was on stage he played it off well, making the pub burst into laughter.

“I meant to do that,” Harry muttered as he settled himself down at the piano. “Alright, this is the last song of the night,” he said, earning a few groans and boos from the crowd. “Hey now, alright, alright.” Harry said, trying to calm them down. “But this is actually a new song… A really new one considering I wrote it today, but hopefully you guys will enjoy it!”

And of the course the crowd clapped and cheered, Louis and Niall being one of the loudest there, and earning a soft smile from Harry on stage.

Louis felt like he was buzzing, just listening to Harry was giving him such a rush, it was crazy. All night he’s been so good, every song was brilliantly written, the melodies mesmerizing and it made you want more and more.

But this song, for some reason Harry waited until the crowd went near silent, and within a second everything felt serious. And that’s when he hit the first chords on the piano, the notes coming out soft and beautiful, almost hypnotizing as his fingers danced across the keys.

Just before Harry opening his mouth to sing though he looked up and locked his eyes with Louis’. Taking in a soft breath before he started to sing, never taking his eyes of the older lad. [(X)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bKdXhBYq9wc)

**Much as you blame yourself you can’t be blamed for the way that you feel**

**Had no example of a love that was even remotely real**

**How can you understand something that you’ve never had?**

**If you let me I can help you out with all of that**

Louis sat there frozen, Harry’s eyes digging into him like daggers as he played. There was nothing he could do. He could barely breathe as the younger lad sang and even though Louis wanted to stop it, he couldn’t help the pressure rising in his chest.

**Let me love you**

**And I will love you, until you learn to love yourself**

**Let me love you**

**I know your troubles, don’t be afraid, oh I can help**

**Let me love you**

**And I will love you, until you learn to love yourself**

**Let me love you**

**A heart of numbness gets brought to life, I’ll take you there**

Louis swallowed thickly as the piano took over for a moment and he broke eye contact with Harry just to glance over at Niall. But he wasn’t so shocked to see Niall’s jaw completely slack and himself looking like he wasn’t breathing. And when Louis turned back to Harry he should’ve expected the younger lad’s eyes to still be on him as he played.

**I can see the pain behind your eyes it’s been there for quite a while**

**I just want to be the one to remind you what it is to smile**

**I would like to show you what true love can really do**

And that’s what did it. Louis could feel tears nearly brimming his eyes as Harry got louder, his playing more intense as he sang the chorus over again with more momentum than before. And Louis could see how much every word meant to Harry, making the fight to hold back his tears that much harder.

But when the song was over the only thing heard in the packed pub was the gentle ring of the piano’s last note before the crowd went into a frenzy.

Harry’s eyes still locked on Louis’, his face a mixture between scared and nervous. But still, he got up from his seat and thanked the crowd one more time before heading off stage. And when Louis tried to follow after him, it was nearly impossible with the amount of people trying to talk to the younger lad.

So he waited and waited, and it wasn’t until nearly an hour later did he find out that Harry had left. But almost as if on cue his phone buzzed in his pocket, only to see Harry’s name flash across the screen.

**From Harry: Don’t tell Matt.**

*~*

Louis let out a deep breath as he stepped out of the lift and looked left and right, trying to figure out which way to go. And thankfully enough he found the door he was looking for before walking right up to and knocking a bit more forcefully than he intended.

But nevertheless the person he’s been looking for for over three hours was finally in front of him.

“Louis,” Harry said a bit startled. “Uhm how- I mean like… How do you know where I live?”

“You said you lived two blocks away from me so I went to every flat complex looking for you and here you are and you need to explain what happened today because I’m confused and you’re ignoring me and I have no clue what’s going on,” Louis rushed out before rubbing his hands over his face frustratedly.

Harry stood there silent for a moment, not quite sure what to say. “Wait, does Matt know you’re here?” he asked nervously.

Louis furrowed his eyebrows and opened and closed his mouth before letting out an annoyed groan. “No and what is it with you and being so concerned with Matt?”

Harry quickly shook his head, trying to come up with an excuse. “I’m not, he just doesn’t like me and uh, I don’t want to get in the middle of your guys’ relationship,” he came up with.

Louis looked at the younger lad for a moment as he bit his lip, himself at a loss of what to say. “What happened today?” he asked quietly.

“Nothing,” Harry shrugged, but as soon as he saw Louis’ face he knew he couldn’t get off that easy. “Just… It’s better if when we hang out you don’t tell Matt,” he barely whispered.

Louis let out a quiet breath, this being almost the same exact thing he has to do with Liam. “Fine,” he said, nodding to himself. “But what about that song? I mean what you played was…” Louis trailed off, not even able to think of any words to describe what he heard.

At that Harry didn’t know what to say. It was stupid of him to play that, in front of Louis especially and now he couldn’t come up with an excuse for it even if he tried. “Just a song,” he said quietly.

Louis bit his lip as he nodded to himself, he really shouldn’t have expected anything more. “Right, right… I’m uhm, I’m sorry for just showing up here.”

Harry couldn’t help but feel terrible as he looked at the older lad. He didn’t want to hurt Louis or make him confused, those were the last things he wanted to do to him. And without even realizing what he was doing himself he wrapped his arms around the older lad’s shoulders and pulled him into his chest.

Louis was a bit taken back at first but then found his own arms coming around Harry’s middle before he rested his head on his shoulder. And he doesn’t know what it was, what he was feeling while the younger lad just held him, but then a word suddenly popped into his head, without having to think about it, it was there.

Comfort.

And even when the two let go, Harry promising to see him tomorrow Louis still felt it.

On his walk home, that's all he could think about, was how comfortable and warm he was with Harry, how at peace he was with him.

But almost as if it was a switch when he got home and climbed into bed with his boyfriend, Matt’s arm secured over his waist it was gone. And Louis wanted to do absolutely everything to get that feeling he had with Harry back.

*~*

**1 Month Later**

“Haz stop,” Louis groaned as he reached for the younger lad’s hand.

“I’m not doing anything,” Harry said through a chuckle as he got his hand out of Louis’ grip and slowly hovered it towards his side.

Louis quickly sat up on the couch, taking his head off of Harry’s lap and glared at him. “You’re a menace and I hate you and you’re not touching me.”

“Aw c’mon Lou, I was just playing,” Harry said, his tickle attack now ruined. “Lay back down, it’s fine,” he said, patting his thighs where the older lad was resting his head.

Louis squared his eyes at him, not believing a thing the curly haired lad was saying.

“Please,” Harry nearly begged as he pat his thighs again. “I promise my hands will stay above your shoulders and if they don’t I’ll make you dinner. Deal?”

He thought about it for a second before letting out a huff and laying back down on the younger lad’s lap. Louis was always sucker if dinner was involved and when it came to Harry and keeping his hands to himself he knew he would be fed well tonight.

“Are you coming to my show tomorrow?” Harry asked as he combed his fingers through Louis’ hair, trying to mess it up.

“Of course,” Louis said like that was a stupid question.

“Well I didn’t know, you only come to like one a week,” Harry breathed out.

Louis bit his lip, always feeling bad that he couldn’t go to that many shows because if he did Matt would complain and ask where he’s been and with who. “Well I’ll be there tomorrow,” he said quietly.

“Good,” Harry said softly as he smiled to himself and continued to brush his fingers through the older lad’s hair.

Louis grinned back up at him before reaching for Harry’s hand and began playing with his fingers. Every time he did this he could see the new calluses on the younger lad’s fingertips from playing guitar and it made him think back to all of the songs that Harry has written.

It was like every week he had a new song, and he made a point of playing it at the shows that Louis went to.

Louis doesn’t ask what the songs mean anymore, instead he’ll sit at a table with Niall and just listen. He’ll feel his breathing slow and his stomach twist into knots as Harry plays and looks directly at him while doing so. But Louis doesn’t ask, and Harry doesn’t tell.

A second later the two jumped at the sound of a phone ringing and almost immediately did Harry take his hand out of Louis’ and reach into the older lad’s pocket.

But when he saw Matt’s name on the screen he rolled his eyes and tossed it on the middle of the carpet.

“C’mon H,” Louis whined as he tried to reach for his phone from his place on the couch, but was no where close to getting it.

“Oh no, looks like it has to go to voicemail,” Harry said, not sounding sorry at all.

Louis let out a huff and just as he was about to sit up and get his phone he felt a strong pair of arms wrap around his waist. “Harry,” he groaned, trying to get out of his grip.

“No,” Harry said, trying to pull Louis back.

In one final attempt Louis threw himself forward, only to send both him and Harry barreling towards the ground.

Harry let out a loud laugh as he landed on top of the older lad, only for Louis to groan from the extra weight on him. And Louis wished he could say that they haven’t been in this exact position before, but unfortunately the amount of times is too many to count.

Louis was able to reach for his phone though and once he had it Harry was still on top of him and looked like he had no plans on moving. “Hello?”

“Where are you?”

Louis was about to answer but before he could Harry slapped the phone away from him, making it fall on the floor. “Would you stop?” he asked through a chuckle before reaching for his phone again.

Harry shook his head and laughed to himself as he tried to take the phone from the older lad yet again.

“Harry I swear-” Louis half threatened, trying to stop himself from laughing as he pushed the younger lad’s hand away.

“What are you doing with him?” Matt asked angrily into the phone.

Louis felt himself freeze for a second and it seemed that Harry was frozen on top of him too. “Uhm, I’m uh at a study group and he showed up…” he said slowly. “Yeah and he’s just trying to get me off the phone cause we’re doing this thing with the group and just yeah…”

Harry almost wanted to slap a hand over his face for horrible of a liar Louis was, but instead he watched as the older lad was intently listening to his boyfriend on the other line. He settled himself on Louis, his thighs on either side of him and bum firmly pressed into the blue eyed lad’s stomach. But by now Louis wasn’t even trying to push him off, instead resting his free hand on Harry’s waist as he talked into the phone.

“What’d captain dickhead want?” Harry asked as soon as Louis hung up the phone.

Louis rolled his eyes as he threw his phone to the side and rested both his hands on Harry’s waist. “The usual,” he muttered.

“No,” Harry whined. “Don’t go, c’mon, I was gonna make dinner and then put on a scary movie so I could watch you freak out.”

“Sorry,” Louis said quietly as he gently pushed the younger lad off him. “Maybe tomorrow though,” he offered as Harry got off him. “Matt is going out with all his mates and I know he’ll be so drunk by the time he comes home he won’t even realize if I’m there or not.”

“Lovely,” Harry mumbled. “Alright, fine, tomorrow night after my show it is.”

Louis offered him a small smile before getting up from the ground and grabbing his phone. “I’ll text you later,” he said, making his way towards the door.

Harry laid back on the ground before letting out a deep breath. “I’ll miss you!” he called out.

Louis laughed to himself and rolled his eyes before opening the door. “I’ll miss you too!” he said over his shoulder before heading out into the hallway, needing to get back to his own flat.

*~*

“Hey, uh, thanks for meeting me,” Harry said nervously as he took a seat across from the older lad.

“Well it has to do with my best mate, so of course I’d see you,” Liam said as he crossed his arms over his chest.

Harry swallowed thickly as he looked at Liam and couldn’t get over his feeling of nervousness.

He met Liam maybe two weeks after he and Louis started hanging out and from the beginning Harry felt like the brown eyed lad didn’t like him. He wasn’t sure if it was Liam being overprotective like Louis said he was or something else. But to say he was intimated by Liam would be an understatement. He was Louis’ best mate after all, he wanted to be on his good side.

“So uhm, I just… I really need your help with something,” Harry said as he combed his fingers through the front of his curls. “Okay, well maybe not help, but I just need to know what Louis is thinking about uhm… About us,” he said as he bit his lip and looked to his folded hands on the table. “Well that is if you know something.”

“I know everything, trust me,” Liam breathed out. “He’s my best mate and I may not see him as often as I would like but I do know every little thing that’s going on in his life.”

“Alright, so…?” Harry asked slowly.

Liam looked at the younger lad across from him before letting out a quiet breath. “I know you’re confusing him with all the songs you’re writing, and then refuse to explain.”

Harry bit his lip, not quite sure how to explain himself with that. “I just… I dunno I want him to know how I feel but I can’t just say it because of Matt and it’s… Everything is just complicated,” he said quietly.

Liam seemed to accept the answer. He knew himself how annoying everything got when Matt was involved. “I’m just gonna say that at this point he’s basically done with Matt,” he said, gaining Harry’s attention. “But he’s terrified and won’t do anything about it.”

“What? Why?” Harry asked with furrowed eyebrows.

He knew that when he and Louis really started hanging out he could see the older lad and Matt’s relationship deteriorating. And he was hoping that sooner rather than later Louis would leave Matt and he could swoop in.

“Harry I don’t think you understand how sensitive he is,” Liam said with raised eyebrows. “Matt is his first serious relationship and it’s been rocky… He’s scared and doesn’t know what it’s like to actually be loved, and he thinks what he has with Matt is love, he’s not gonna leave that.”

Harry opened and closed his mouth, trying to find something to say. He knew for a fact that he cares about Louis more than Matt does and ever will, he doesn’t understand how the blue eyed lad doesn’t see that.

“Listen, all I know is that Louis isn’t gonna do or change anything until someone tells him to. Unless someone,” he began, raising his eyebrows at Harry, giving him a silent message, “explicitly says they want to be with him and do something to convince him to leave Matt.”

Harry let out a deep breath as he ran a hand over his face. He knew he could tell Louis how he feels, could easily tell him to leave Matt, but there was something in his way.

If Matt found out that Louis left him to be with Harry then he would talk to the people in his record company, and every other record company in England, killing his chances of being noticed. But in the end, it was up to Harry, if Louis was worth that, worth giving up his dream.

“Don’t do anything if you’re not committed,” Liam said as he squared his eyes at the younger lad. “If you really care about him you shouldn’t have to think, you should know…”

“No, I do… I do know,” Harry said quietly before clearing his throat. “Uhm thanks Liam, I appreciate it.”

He offered Liam a tight lined smile before standing up from his seat and began heading towards the door with a million thoughts running through his head.

*~*

Harry bit his lip nervously as he checked the time on his phone, it getting closer and closer to showtime but Louis was nowhere in sight.

“Niall you haven’t heard anything from him or seen him?” he asked as he began pacing the side of the stage.

“No, sorry mate,” Niall said as he shrugged to himself. “He hasn’t answered my texts and I tried calling him too,” he said, knowing how important tonight was for his best mate.

“Wait! Wait! He’s calling!” Harry said quickly before pressing his phone to his ear. “Hey Lou, where are you?”

“Harry I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry, I can’t come tonight.”

Harry furrowed his eyebrows as it sounded like the older lad was whispering. “Why? Are you okay? Did something happen?” he asked nervously.

“No nothing happened, I’m fine,” Louis breathed into the phone. “It’s just that Matt canceled his plans with his mates and wanted to take me out… I didn’t want to say no.”

“You want to go out with him?” Harry asked quietly, feeling himself freeze where he was.

“Well of course, he’s my boyfriend. I do want to go out with him every now and then.”

“Right, right of course,” Harry barely whispered as he shook his head and ran his hand over his face. “Okay, uhm, it’s whatever… I’ll just see you tomorrow then.”

Louis was quiet on the other line for a moment before there was slight shuffling and the older lad let out a deep breath. “I really am sorry H.”

“No, it’s fine,” Harry said, not wanting him to feel bad.

“Alright… Well Matt’s waiting for me, I should go.”

“Yeah, uhm bye,” Harry said quietly and before Louis utter anything back he hung up.

“Is he not coming?” Niall asked as soon as his best mate was off the phone.

Harry shook his head as he reached for his guitar and slung the strap over his shoulder. “Maybe this is a sign or something…” he said quietly. “He’s going out with Matt, you know the guy who’s actually his boyfriend…”

“H…” Niall said quietly, unable to imagine how hurt he must be. “I’m so sorry mate… Maybe next show he can come and you can do your whole speech in front of everyone and-”

“No,” Harry said, readying himself to go on stage. “We’re only meant to be mates, that’s it.”

Niall bit his lip, wanting to say anything to make the younger lad feel better but he wasn’t able to think of anything before Harry made his way on stage.

He knew Harry was willing to give up everything. He knew what Matt threatened him with and Harry was ready to throw away the chance to get noticed by a record label for this guy. But now it didn’t even seem worth it, and Niall wanted nothing more than to help his best mate. Just from looking at the curly haired lad on the stage though he didn’t know if he could.

*~*

Harry was halfway done with his set and taking a break when Niall saw him. And it was almost immediate he stomped over to the blue eyed lad and smacked him upside the head.

“What was that for?!” Louis asked as he rubbed his head.

“Do you know how hurt he was when you said you couldn’t come?!” Niall nearly yelled.

“Well I had a surprise, geez,” Louis said, not so subtly pointing to the middle aged man next to him.

Niall looked to the man next to Louis and offered him a tight lined smile and his hand to shake. “Uhm hi, m’Niall.  And you are?” he asked confused.

“Michael Crawford from Five Star Records,” he introduced himself happily. “Your mate up there is something else, really incredible.”

Niall felt himself freeze before he blinked a few times, trying to understand what this man just said. “Wait you… H-how- I mean… What y-you-” he stuttered out as he looked to Louis.

“I pulled a couple strings with Matt’s job,” Louis shrugged. “I met Michael a few months back at one of the company parties and I had to wait a little bit to fit into his schedule but he was finally able to come to a show tonight.”

“And happy I did so,” Michael added in.

Niall was still shocked. He couldn’t form words as he looked between the two, but then he remembered something. “Harry! I need to tell Harry you’re here, it’s important!!”

“Uhm yeah sure,” Louis said through small smile. “Michael would like to meet him too before he goes back up,” he said, looking at the older lad with raised eyebrows.

“I would love to,” Michael said, grinning back at Louis.

Niall nodded quickly, not believing what was happening before he led the two to the side of the stage and quickly grabbing his best mate’s attention. “There’s someone here I think you’ll want to talk to,” he said to the younger lad as he saw him doing something to his guitar.

Harry furrowed his eyebrows as he looked up but as soon as he saw Louis he couldn’t help the wide smile that stretched across his face. “Louis!!” he said excitedly before nearly lunging at the blue eyed lad and wrapping him in a hug. “What are you doing here?! I thought you said-”

“I know, I know, I lied,” Louis said as he laughed to himself and released the younger lad. “I have a surprise,” he said happily. “Harry this is Michael, he’s from Five Star Records and is more than impressed with your performance so far tonight.”

Like Niall had Harry froze. His jaw had gone slack and almost forgot to bring up his hand to shake the older man’s hand as it was offered to him. “U-uhm I uh, it’s wow… Uhm it’s so great to meet you,” he managed to stutter out.

“You as well,” Michael said through a small smile. “Louis here hasn’t shut up about you for nearly a month, I finally said that I had to come down and watch you and you have not disappointed.”

Harry looked to Louis and had to fight the urge to kiss him right there. This was beyond incredible, no one had ever done something like this for him, and this could be what takes him from local pub singer to famous musician.

“Well if you want to stick around there’s plenty more,” he said through a wide smile.

“I would love to,” Michael nodded.

“Great, great, and just thank you again for being here, it means so much,” Harry gushed out, earning a “no problem” from the older lad.

“And you,” Harry said, looking to Louis before opening his arms, the older lad immediately going into them. “I can’t thank you enough,” he whispered as he pulled Louis impossibly closer to his chest.

Louis smiled to himself, always loving when he was in Harry’s arms, but when he felt the younger lad press his lips to his cheek he froze.

“These last ones are for you,” Harry said as he pulled away and winked at Louis.

Louis was still in a bit of a daze as he nodded, but watched as Harry picked up his guitar and got back on stage.

It was impossible to miss the smug smile on Niall’s face as he looked at Louis, but the older lad couldn’t even focus on the Irish lad because Harry was playing one of the songs that he wrote for him.

Of course Harry never said they were for him, but these were the songs that the younger lad would sing, always unable to peel his eyes off Louis. The songs that seemed to fit their situation so perfectly.

But then Louis had to think, what was their situation? He’s been tiptoeing around the thought of it for over a month, but now, seeing Harry up there and singing every song he’s ever written for him was too much, and it hit Louis like a ton of bricks.

There was no fighting it, he knew, he’s known for a while now, but it wasn’t until this moment that he fully accepted it. He fell for Harry Styles.

*~*

“Harreh!!” Louis said excitedly as he nearly threw himself onto the younger lad’s lap. “What’d he say?! Tell me everything!!”

Harry wrapped his arms around Louis’ waist to keep in place, knowing he’s had a couple drinks, but then again he has been a bit more touchy than normal tonight. “I have a meeting Saturday with some other people from the record label so they can hear me, and if they like me…” he trailed off through a wide smile.

Louis slapped a hand over his mouth as he shook his head. “No?!” he nearly yelled. “Are they going to sign you?!”

Harry just barely nodded before he felt Louis crushing him in a hug.

“Harry!! I can’t believe this!!” Louis said, giving the younger lad one more squeeze before he finally let go and rested his hands on his shoulders.

“It’s all because of you Lou,” Harry said, moving his hands to the blue eyed lad’s waist. “Would you uhm… You wanna get out of here?” he asked nervously, this being his chance. “I need to show you something.”

Louis looked back at him for a second before feeling his own nerves kick in. He nodded anyway though and got off Harry so he could stand up. He waited as the younger lad got his guitar and once they were ready to leave the pub Louis felt like a nervous wreck.

“If it’s okay with you can we go to my flat?” Harry asked as they started walked down the sidewalk. “Niall went home with some girl so it’ll just be me and you.”

“Yeah, yeah that’s fine,” Louis said, offering the curly headed lad a small smile.

Harry grinned back at him, unable to control himself as he realized what he was about to do.  But of course as he saw Louis shiver in the October cold he immediately pulled off his jacket without question, that taking him out of his thoughts for a millisecond.

“I’m fine H,” Louis said through a chuckle as he shook his head, not wanting Harry to be cold himself.

“Too bad I’m not asking,” Harry said as he laughed to himself and draped his oversized coat over Louis’ shoulders. “What you did for me tonight… I would do anything for you Lou,” he said softly.

Louis looked up at Harry, finding it nearly impossible to stop his face from heating up at just how the younger lad was looking at him. “No, it was nothing… I just made a few calls-”

“No,” Harry said shaking his head. “Louis I can’t… I don’t even know how I can thank you,” he said quietly. “You basically made my career possible, don’t say it was nothing.”

Louis had to bite back his smile as he shrugged to himself and looked to his shoes. He knew there was nothing he could say to convince Harry it wasn't a big deal, so he didn’t say anything. Instead they made their way back to Harry’s flat in silence, Louis the entire time internally freaking out because he had no clue what the younger lad wanted to show him. He didn’t want to get his hopes up and have nothing happen, so Louis tried to stay calm, but knew he was utterly failing.

But thankfully it wasn’t too long before they were inside Harry’s flat, now the curly haired lad’s turn to be more than terrified from what he was about to do.

“Uhm just uh, you can sit,” Harry said as he scratched the back of his neck and set his guitar down, needing to take it out.

“You alright H?” Louis asked with furrowed eyebrows as he saw Harry’s hands nearly shaking as he picked up his guitar.

“Yeah, yeah, m’fine,” Harry breathed out, taking a seat next to Louis on the couch and settling his guitar on his thigh.

Louis looked at him for a moment, not quite believing him but nodded anyway.

“So uhm, I uh… I have to show you something and if you want me to stop I’ll stop but please… Just listen, yeah?” Harry asked nervously.

Louis nodded slowly and he could almost see Harry sweating from how nervous he was before letting out a deep breath and placing his fingers where they needed to go.

His picking was slow and eyes trained on what he was doing, but already Louis was at a loss of what to say. His heart was beating so fast it must have been vibrating, his palms sweaty and breathing shallow. But when he heard the younger lad start to sing he couldn’t move. [(X)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CUuBXGgK5vA)

**I don’t have much to give but I don’t care for gold**

**What use is money when you need someone to hold?**

**Don’t have direction, I’m just rolling down this road**

**Waiting for you to bring me in from out the cold**

**You’ll never know the endless nights, the rhyming of the rain**

**Or how it feels to fall behind and watch you call his name**

He watched as Harry swallowed thickly and chanced a glance at him, but Louis couldn’t do anything but listen, his body refusing to move as he kept his eyes locked on Harry.

**Pack up and leave everything, don’t you see what I can bring?**

**Can’t keep this beating heart at bay**

**Set my midnight sorrow free**

**I will give you all of me**

**Just leave your lover, leave him for me**

**Leave your lover, leave him for me**

Louis blinked quickly, trying to rid his tears as he looked between Harry and his guitar. He understood what Harry wanted in that moment, and at the same exact time Louis felt his insides warm and goosebumps rise on his skin, knowing he wanted the same thing. That this incredible human being wanted to be with him just as badly as he did.

**We sit in bars and raise our drinks to growing old**

**Oh I’m in love with you and you will never know**

**But if I can’t have you I want this life alone**

**Spare you the rising storm and let the rivers flow**

Harry went back through the chorus and Louis was crying. He couldn’t even think about how much he had probably hurt Harry, how everytime he talked about Matt it must’ve tortured the younger lad.

And once Harry had finished the room was dead silent. He placed his guitar down and looked to Louis nervously, not knowing his reaction as he just sat there and stared at him with tear stained cheeks.

Harry bit his lip, looking for anything from the older lad. “Louis I… Uhm,” he said slowly, scratching the back of his neck as Louis’ eyes never left him. “I get it if you don’t mmmph-”

He sat there for a moment, completely frozen as he felt Louis’ lips on his. One of the older lad’s hands lost in his curls while the other cupped his cheek.

Harry couldn’t help but gasp at the sudden feeling, only finding himself wrapping his arms around Louis a second later, making  their chests become pressed together. The space once between them was now closed completely, and all Harry could think about was Louis’ lips. How warm his mouth was, how the gentle caress of his lips were softer than he ever imagined.

And then there was Louis, completely lost and his mind filled with nothing but Harry. He was actually kissing Harry, gently running his fingers through his hair and hesitantly moving his lips against the younger lad’s, making their noses bump.

Louis could keep going like this forever. The twisting feeling his stomach, the warmth and comfort he felt in Harry’s arms was something he never wanted to let go of. But then Louis remembered something, rather someone as he abruptly pulled away from the younger lad.

“Oh my God…” he barely whispered as he placed a hand over his mouth. “Oh my God… What did I do?”

“Lou?” Harry asked quietly, now terrified that he had ruined everything. “Shit Louis I’m sorry, I’m so sorry I-”

“No, no, it’s not you,” Louis quickly shook his head. “I want to be with you I-...” he cut himself off, trying to think of what to do. “I just… I cheated on Matt…”

Harry felt his heart drop, not sure what was going through Louis’ head or if he actually wanted to even be with him. “Are you going back to him?” he barely whispered.

“No,” Louis said almost immediately. “I can’t.”

Harry let out a breath of relief, not knowing what he would do if Louis did. “What do you want to do?” he asked quietly as he hesitantly brought his hand up to rub the older lad’s back.

Louis shook his head and thought about it for a moment. “He should be back by now… I uhm… I think I’m gonna go to the flat and talk to him.”

“I’ll come,” Harry said quickly. “Matt being Matt he probably had a few drinks, and I just don’t like the idea of you being alone with him drunk.”

Louis bit his lip and nodded, that maybe actually being a good idea. With what he was about to tell Matt he had no clue what his boyfriend would do.

“I just want to say,” Louis began softly, “I really really like you… Have since we met if I’m being honest,” he said sheepishly.

Harry let out a quiet laugh as he stood up from the couch and offered the older lad his hand. “I knew you were trying to ask me out,” he said teasingly.

Louis rolled his eyes as he took Harry’s offered hand and gave it a light squeeze. “Don’t push it,” he muttered.

Harry put his hands up in defeat, earning a small laugh out of Louis before they made their onto the city streets and to Louis’ flat.

“What’re you gonna say to him?” Harry asked once they were in the lift up to the flat.

“Just that we haven’t been happy for a long time and it’s time to end things…” Louis said quietly. “I’m not mentioning anything happening with you though, I know he’ll just get furious and there’s no use in trying to make him more angry than he already will be.”

Harry nodded, trying to prepare himself for anything that might happen.

When the lift stopped at the correct floor the two made their way out, both of them letting out deep breaths the closer and closer they got to the door.

“Just don’t say anything, alright?” Louis asked quietly and once Harry nodded at him he pushed the door open.

“Louis that you?” Matt called out.

“Yeah,” Louis said, carefully stepping into the flat with Harry behind him.

And as Matt turned around to look at him Louis could see him smiling, that was until he saw Harry behind him and immediately pushed himself off the couch.

“What the hell are you doing here?” He asked annoyed.

“Matt he’s fine, back off,” Louis said quietly, wanting him to calm down.

“I told you to stay away. What part did you not you understand?” Matt asked lowly as he narrowed his eyes at Harry, trying to step closer to him. “Was it the stay away part or was it the I can end your career in a second part?”

Louis furrowed his eyebrows as he heard the older before looking between the two. “What?”

“Louis it’s nothing, just say what you came here to say and let’s go,” Harry whispered to him.

“And where do you think you’re going?” Matt asked with raised eyebrows. “Do you really want to start with me right now?” he asked, staring at Harry. “One phone call, that’s all it will take… Back off and stay away from him.”

“What the hell are you talking about?!” Louis asked, now himself angered. “Did you threaten him?! Is that was this is?!”

There was silence in the room, Matt glaring at Harry as the younger lad stood there, not sure what to say.

“I can’t believe you…” Louis said quietly as he shook his head at Matt. “I wasn’t going to just come out and say it, but I will… Matt we’re done.”

“We’re what?” Matt nearly spat through his teeth. “Is this a joke? Are you seriously leaving me for him?” he asked stepping closer to Louis as he pointed an angry finger at Harry.

“I never said that,” Louis said quietly, trying to back away from the older lad. “It’s not about him, it’s about you and me.”

“It’s all because of him that this is happening!!” Matt yelled, making Louis jump. “Don’t think for one second that he hasn’t wanted this from the beginning!!”

“Please stop screaming,” Louis said as he swallowed thickly, hating how close the older lad was getting to him.

Matt scoffed as he rolled his eyes and looked over to Harry. “You. Get out, now.”

Louis looked over to Harry and he was more than grateful to see the younger lad glaring right back at Matt, not moving an inch.

“I’m not going anywhere unless Louis is,” Harry said, not moving a muscle. “Lou, you wanna go?”

Louis gulped and nodded, quickly trying to rush over to the younger lad’s side, but before he could even take a step a strong hand grabbed his arm.

“He and I need to talk, you on the other hand are leaving,” Matt said through gritted teeth, tightening his grip on the younger lad.

“Matt it’s over,” Harry said firmly. “Let him go, now.”

Matt looked between the two before letting out a scoff and shoving Louis towards Harry. “Fine, you want him, have him. Get this fucking slut out of my house then,” he spat.

Harry snapped his head up from where he was looking at Louis, trying to help the older lad stand up straight after being pushed and narrowed his eyes at Matt. “What did you just say?” he asked, taking a step closer to him.

“Harry leave it,” Louis said quickly, pulling on the younger lad’s arm.

Harry kept his eyes locked on the man in front of him, the only reason he moved at all was because Louis grabbed his hand and began rushing them out of the flat.

All I Want Playlist

 

 

 

 

[Let Me Love You](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_eTytNgcYOk) [Ne-Yo-Glee Version](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_eTytNgcYOk) 3:38

[Leave Your Lover](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M8pK3KBwC84) [Sam Smith](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M8pK3KBwC84) 3:26

[The Otherside](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l4Lt4zlCb-M) [Taylor Ward](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l4Lt4zlCb-M) 2:58

[Give Your Heart A Break](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XKiUcTvr-TQ) [Glee Version](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XKiUcTvr-TQ) 3:29

[Friends](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Myaod6GC4U) [Ed Sheeran](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Myaod6GC4U) 3:09

[Make You Feel My Love](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jNBmoj32pq4) [Adele](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jNBmoj32pq4) 3:15

[Code by Layouttesst](http://layouttesst.livejournal.com/profile)

                                                                                 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts on the first chapter ?? And if you have any questions, or want to know when I'll be updating next you can ask on here or on my [tumblr](http://lhstylinson9193.tumblr.com/) :) Leave kudos, give comments, thanks !!


	2. Prologue: Leave Your Lover Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally, part 2 of the prologue is here !! 
> 
> As I said in the first part the other chapter will not be nearly this long. These two are quite lengthy due to having to get things started in the story and give background :)

Louis had his elbows resting on his knees and face hidden in his hands as he sat on Harry’s couch. His thoughts were racing and have been since they left Matt’s, but there was one thing that kept popping into his mind.

“Lou…” Harry said softly, taking a seat next to the older lad. “You alright?” he asked, offering him a cup of tea.

Louis slowly took his hands away from his face, his eyes never leaving the ground as he reached for the mug. “M’fine.”

Harry bit his lip, knowing for a fact that he wasn’t. “You can talk to me Lou, it’s okay,” he said quietly.

The older lad just stared at the tea in his hands, not sure if he could explain to Harry what he was thinking. “So much happened today, and it’s just a lot to process.”

Harry nodded as he let out a quiet breath and brought his hand up to rub the older lad’s back. “Are you okay though?”

“I think so, yeah,” Louis said, finally looking up and offering the green eyed lad a small smile. He was still in denial a bit that he was sitting here with Harry, everything out on the table. “The only thing really bothering me is what Matt called me…” he said, biting his lip. “That just hurt… We were dating for almost a year, I didn’t think he’d so easily be able to say something like that.”

Harry couldn’t even imagine what that would feel like. Dating someone for a year, thinking that you loved them and they loved you with everything they had, only for it to crumble apart right in front of you.

“I’m so sorry Lou,” he said guiltily, this being his entire fault.

“Don’t be,” Louis said as he shook his head. “He was a jerk, and I’m here with you now,” he said, trying to bite back his grin as he looked at the younger lad.

Harry had to fight his own smile as he looked at Louis, but he knew his dimples were showing and a blush made it’s way to his cheeks, himself unable to believe that he had this incredible man with him.

“I still can’t believe he threatened you,” Louis breathed out before he took a sip of his tea. “I mean to basically try to end your career before it even started…” he trailed off, unable to grip the fact that Matt had stooped to that point without even knowing Harry a day.

“I don’t care about that anymore,” Harry shook his head as he stopped rubbing Louis’ back and instead wrapped his arm around his waist. “He can ruin whatever he wants, as long as I get you in the end.”

“Oh no,” Louis groaned through a smile as he rested his forehead on Harry’s shoulder. “You’re one of those super sappy guys,” he said as he laughed to himself.

“Louis I literally wrote you like an albums worth of songs…” Harry said through his own chuckle as he pulled the older lad impossibly closer to his side.

Louis bit his lip, trying not to smile and ignore the way his stomach twisted into knots. “I knew those were for me,” he said before putting his tea on the coffee table and tucking himself back into Harry’s side.

It was something new for Louis to be able to comfortably sit with the younger lad like this, to cuddle with him and not feel a pinch of guilt. When he was with Matt and he and Harry would be in this exact position there was always a voice in the back of Louis’ head telling him this wasn’t right. But now Louis didn’t think he’d ever get used to the feeling of being in Harry’s arms, wrapped in his warmth and feeling so secure that no matter what happened he’d be protected.

“Which song was your favorite?” Harry asked, looking down at the blue eyed lad with a gentle smile.

“The one from tonight,” Louis said quietly as he tucked his head into Harry’s neck.

“Which one? I played all of them tonight,” Harry said through a small laugh.

Louis rolled his eyes, knowing very well Harry knew which one he meant. “The one you played here,” he said, looking up at the younger lad, unable to stop the soft smile that made it’s way to his face.

Even if Harry wanted to he wouldn’t have been able to hold back his own grin as he looked down at Louis. “You know I meant every word in all those songs right?” he asked softly.

Louis’ eyes flickered from Harry’s to the younger lad’s lips before looking back up to him and realizing they were close enough that their breaths were mixing. And Louis couldn’t help it, but instead of nodding he reached one of his hands up, burying it in Harry’s curls, and almost a second later was the green eyed lad’s lips on his. Him releasing a deep breath through his nose, like he had been waiting to do this forever.

"Thank you Harry," Louis said so quietly once they released that if the younger lad wasn't listening he wouldn't have caught it.

"For what?" Harry asked with furrowed eyebrows.

"Everything," Louis breathed out. "You just... You've done so much for me, you don't even know."

Harry didn't even try to hold back his smile as he leaned towards the older lad again and kissed him gently. "I'd do anything for you Louis," he said softly.

Louis offered him a small grin back as he rested his hand on the younger lad's thigh and his head on his shoulder. "Does that include maybe going with me too get my things from Matt's tomorrow?" he asked, biting his lip.

"Of course," Harry said as if it was ridiculous he would even have to ask.

"I could always get Liam to help too," Louis said quietly, not wanting to just throw all of this on Harry. "I texted him and told him what happened... He said I can stay with him and he wants to meet up so we can talk."

"Really Lou, it's no problem," Harry assured him. "What does he want to talk to you about?"

"I dunno," Louis shrugged. "Liam being Liam he'll ask how I'm doing and probably talk about you, ask what we're doing as far as a relationship goes," he said as he bit his lip.

Harry nodded slowly, thinking they themselves should probably talk about that. “Well what do you want to do? About us I mean?” he asked quietly.

“Is it bad of me to want to date you?” Louis asked genuinely. “I mean… I just broke up with Matt, but I want to be with you.”

“There’s nothing wrong with that Lou,” Harry said softly as he pulled the older lad impossibly closer to his side. “I mean if you think about it since we’ve met we’ve been dating,” he said through a small laugh. “Like we basically did everything a couple would do except the physical stuff.”

Louis let out a deep breath, not so sure if that made him feel better or worse because that was true. They would cuddle, go out to eat, constantly be touching each other and talk about everything and anything, no matter what it was. But it was while he was dating Matt, so now Louis felt like he was basically cheating on his boyfriend for well over a month.

“I need to talk to Liam,” he muttered as he ran a hand through his hair.

Harry would be lying if he said he was a bit disappointed that Louis didn’t want to just go out right away, but then again he did break up with his boyfriend just a few hours ago. “Whatever you need to do Lou.”

“I’m sorry H… I just… I-”

“Seriously Louis, it’s more than fine,” Harry said, not wanting the older lad to stress about this. “I’ll do whatever you want, and take as long as you need to figure out what that is.”

Louis looked up at the curly haired lad and offered him a small smile. “You seriously are the best,” he said, giving the younger lad’s thigh a light squeeze.

Harry grinned back at him before kissing Louis’ nose and squeezing his side. “I try sometimes,” he said through a quiet laugh.

Louis rolled his eyes before checking the time on his phone and letting out a quiet breath. “I should probably get goin, it’s pretty late,” he breathed out.

And just as he was about to stand up he felt Harry tug him back down.

“Just stay here tonight,” Harry mumbled as he tucked his head into Louis' neck. “And in the morning we can get your stuff from Matt’s and drop it off at Liam’s.”

“You sure?” Louis asked with furrowed eyebrows. “Really, I can just go to Liam’s.”

“Of course I’m sure, it’s not like it’s an inconvenience for me,” Harry scoffed. “If you’re tired you can take my room, I’ll sleep on the couch.”

“Harry we’ve slept in the same bed before, it’s not a big deal if we do it again.” Louis said through a quiet laugh.

“Oh yeah…” Harry said, remembering the time they both took a nap in his bed after a vigorous day of beers, videogames, take out and movies, only for Matt to blow up Louis’ phone and make him go home.

Louis hummed to himself as he pat Harry’s thigh and stood up from the couch. “Well I’m beat so I’m gonna head to bed.”

Harry nodded as he got up with Louis, himself more than exhausted from the day they had. First potentially being signed to a record company and then everything with Matt, Harry was more than ready to just fall into bed.

So once Louis claimed Harry’s too big sweatshirt for himself and the younger lad stripped down to his boxers the two found themselves in bed, Louis allowing himself to be wrapped in Harry’s arms and engulfed in his warmth, wondering how he went on so long without it.

*~*

"So are we gonna talk about what's going on or are you just going to stare off into space all night?" Liam asked as he glanced over at his best mate before looking back at their cooking dinner on the stove.

Louis groaned as he threw himself back into the couch cushions and ran his hands over his face. "Why is everything so complicated?"

"Because you're making it that way," Liam answered easily.

If the younger lad was facing him Louis would've narrowed his eyes at him, but since he wasn't Louis grumbled to himself instead. "Just tell me what to do," he whined.

"Mate you already know what to do," Liam said as he strained the pasta.

"It's not that simple."

"Louis, yes it is," Liam said almost firmly. "You broke up with Matt, you're a free man, do whatever the hell you want."

Louis bit his lip as he shook his head and looked to his folded hands in his lap. “It’s too soon though, isn’t it? I mean we just broke up like two days ago.”

Liam furrowed his eyebrows as he brought a bowl of pasta over to the older lad and took a seat next to him on the couch. “Do you not want to date Harry or something?”

“Of course I want to date him,” Louis said without hesitance. “I just…”

“Don’t want to get hurt?” Liam tried to fill in with his mouth full.

Louis looked down at the food in his hands as he nodded. “I’m scared,” he barely whispered. “But I mean it’s Harry, he wouldn’t hurt me.”

“Anyone can hurt you Louis, even Harry,” Liam said before taking a bite of his food.

Louis bit his lip as he looked over at his best mate and placed his untouched food on the coffee table.

“I’m not trying to make you upset Louis, I’m just saying,” Liam said with his mouth full. “Just take things slow, ya know? Feel things out before you just jump into it.”

“So should I not ask if he wants to go out this weekend?” Louis asked quietly.

Liam let out a deep breath as he swallowed his food and glanced over at Louis. “Do whatever you want Lou,” he said softly. “Just be careful.”

“Okay,” Louis breathed out as he nodded to himself. “I’m gonna head over there… He’s been waiting for an answer, and I think it’s time I give him one.”

And before Liam could even stop the older lad to tell him to take his time with Harry Louis was already out of the flat.

*~*

“C’mon Harry,” Louis muttered, knocking on the younger lad’s door over and over again.

But thankfully a moment later the door swung open, revealing a frazzled looking Harry. “Lou, uhm hey. Didn’t know you were coming over.”

“You okay?” Louis asked with furrowed eyebrows.

Harry ran his hand over his face, clearly not okay but nodded anyway as he moved aside to let Louis into the flat. And just as Louis was about to ask if he really was okay, the older lad noticed some random girl sitting on the couch.

“Is this… Is this not a good time?” he asked, feeling his throat tighten as he looked between the girl and Harry.

“No, no it’s fine,” Harry quickly shook his head. “This girl just showed up looking for Niall and she refuses to leave until he gets here, but I wanted to rehearse my songs for the meeting tomorrow and just…” he trailed off annoyed.

“Oh,” Louis nodded and with one more look to the girl he sent Harry a wink before walking over to her. “Hey, you’re looking for Niall right?”

“Do you know where he is?!” she asked Louis wide eyed, already pushing herself off the couch.

“Yeah he texted me just a bit ago. He’s at Lexington and 3rd. Might wanna hurry, don’t know how long he’ll be there.”

And the girl didn’t need to be told twice before nearly running out of the flat.

Harry couldn’t help but laugh to himself and shake his head as he looked over to the older lad. “You’re a genius,” he said before snaking his arms around Louis’ waist.

“Who doesn’t love sending random girls on a goosechase all over London?” Louis asked through his own chuckle as he wrapped his arms around the younger lad’s neck.

Harry smiled down at Louis before dipping his head and gently connecting their lips. “So not that I’m super happy you’re here, cause I am, but why are you here?”

“Well I wanted to talk to you,” Louis said as he nervously bit his lip. “I was wondering if uhm… If you wanted to go out tomorrow… With me.”

Harry raised his eyebrows as he pulled the older lad impossibly closer to his chest. “Louis Tomlinson are you asking me out on a date?” he asked teasingly.

“W-well… Yeah,” Louis said sheepishly, feeling a deep blush rise on his cheeks.

“About goddamn time,” Harry muttered through a soft smile as he leaned his forehead against the blue eyed lad’s.

Louis rolled his eyes as he felt Harry press his lips to his cheek, slowly making his way down his jaw and to his neck. “Tomorrow night, after your meeting alright?”

Harry hummed and smiled against the older lad as he gently kissed his neck and wrapped his arms tighter around him.

“H…” Louis said through a quiet laugh. “You listening to me?”

“Babe I can only focus-” he said, dropping his head, only to connect their lips softly, “on one thing at a time.”

“Do you even want to go to dinner?” Louis asked with raised eyebrows. “We could just stay here.”

At that Harry stopped kissing the older lad and looked at him with a small smirk. “Is that a realistic option?”

“No,” Louis said through a chuckle. “After dinner though…” he trailed off, ghosting his hand over the younger lad’s chest and gently playing with the buttons.

Liam may have suggested the whole “taking it slow” thing, but just having Harry’s lips on his neck was making Louis crave just a tiny bit more.

“Do we really even need to wait til tomorrow?” Harry asked before gently kissing the older lad’s nose. “I mean tonight-”

“Tonight you’re practicing and getting ready for your meeting,” Louis said seriously. “This is your chance Haz, don’t mess it up.”

Harry let out a deep breath as he looked down at the older lad, but he knew he was right. “Fine,” he grumbled. “At least stay here in case crazy girl comes back.”

Louis nodded and laughed to himself before pressing his lips to Harry’s one more time and following him towards the couch, knowing tonight would be nothing but singing, guitar playing and kissing in between.

*~*

Harry sprinted down the hallway, his guitar case hitting his leg along the way and his lungs feeling like they were about to combust but time was of the essence. He ran until he got to Louis’ door and once there didn’t even waste a second to breathe before crashing into the flat and looking around for the blue eyed lad.

“Louis!!!” he screamed, nearly stomping into the living room in a frenzy to find him.

But thankfully Harry found Louis and was too happy to care that he was sleeping on top of Liam before shaking the older lad awake.

“Louis get your arse up!! I got signed!!” Harry said excitedly as he kept shaking him and didn’t even stop when he saw that Louis was awake.

“You what?!” Louis yelped as he not so gracefully pushed himself off of Liam’s chest, making the younger lad groan under him. “Harry holy shit!!” he said before lunging at the curly haired lad and nearly making them fall to the ground.

Harry stumbled back a bit and dropped his guitar, but didn’t hesitate to wrap his arms around Louis and making sure there was absolutely no room between them.

“I told you could do it, I am so proud of you!” Louis said through a wide smile before cupping the younger lad’s cheeks and bringing him in for a hard kiss.

Harry grinned against Louis and didn’t waste a second before kissing him back and pulling him impossibly closer to his chest, nearly picking the blue eyed lad up as he did so.

“Oh, okay, yeah wow, that’s my cue to leave,” Liam muttered as he saw the two basically snogging and got up to go to his room.

Louis felt his face heat up as he pulled away from Harry, only to feel the younger lad tuck his head into his neck. But before he could even say anything Liam rushed out of the room. So Louis focused his attention back on Harry, the younger lad clinging to him and refusing to let him go.

“H tell me everything!!” Louis said excitedly before kissing him one more time.

“We’re going to dinner!” Harry suddenly announced. “I’ll tell you everything then, c’mon, let’s go!” he said, already tugging on Louis’ hand.

“Harry! Harry wait!!” Louis said through a loud laugh, trying to stop the younger lad from running towards the door. “I need to change! I’m only in my joggers and a sweatshirt!”

“Right, sorry, sorry,” Harry said sheepishly. “I’m just so excited! I can’t wait to tell you everything so hurry!”

“And I can’t wait to hear all about it,” Louis said through a soft smile before standing on his toes and pressing his lips to Harry’s. “Just give me 5 minutes, alright?”

Harry nodded as he grinned back at the older lad and sent him off with one more quick peck to his lips.

Louis hurried off to his room, and even after only living with Liam for a couple days his room was already messy. But before he moved in with Matt it was the same exact way, so it was like nothing had changed.

So after sifting through his clothes, finding a decent outfit and packed a bag for the night Louis made his way to Liam’s room next door.

“Mate?” he asked, poking his head into the room. “Harry and I are going out, I’ll text you later.”

“What’s up with the backpack?” Liam asked with furrowed eyebrows as he turned himself in his desk chair to look at his best mate.

“I think I’m gonna stay at Harry’s tonight,” Louis said quietly as he bit his lip.

“You’re kidding…” Liam said not believing it. “Louis seriously? You guys aren’t even dating and you’re staying over there?” he asked, knowing what was probably going to happen tonight.

“Liam we’re 20, c’mon get off it,” Louis said, a little annoyed with the younger lad trying to make him slow things down with Harry.

“Okay fine, but you also just broke up with your boyfriend, the same boyfriend you were dating for nearly a year before this guy came along,” Liam pointed out.

“Weren’t you the one to tell me to do whatever I want?” Louis asked with raised eyebrows.

“Yeah, not whoever you wanted, geez Louis,” Liam scoffed as he shook his head.

Louis was a bit taken back by that as he looked at his best mate with furrowed eyebrows. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Louis you jump into things too quickly,” Liam said simply. “You did the same thing with Matt and look how great that turned out, you were miserable everyday.”

“It’s different this time...” Louis said quietly.

“Yeah, and I’m sure it’ll be different with the guy that comes after Harry,” Liam said as he turned back to his desk. “Don’t say I never warned you. Take it slow.”

Louis shook his head as he bit his lip, not believing Liam just said that to him. “Fuck you,” he muttered before stomping off down the hall and towards the living room.

“Hey, you look great,” Harry said happily as he saw Louis come back into the room, but then he noticed how the older lad looked like he was just punched in the gut. “What’s wrong? What happened?” he asked quietly as he rushed over to Louis and wrapped his arms around him.

“Nothing, nothing, uhm, let’s go,” Louis said, shaking his head and getting out of Harry’s grasp.

“It’s not nothing, what happened?” Harry asked softly.

“Liam’s just being a dick, that’s it,” Louis breathed out as he combed his fingers through the front of his hair. “C’mon, I just want to go.”

Harry looked at Louis for a moment and he could see Louis was hurt by whatever it was that Liam said, but it was also clear that the older lad wanted nothing more than to get out of there. So Harry nodded at him and grabbed his hand before kissing it gently and leading them out of the flat.

*~*

“So tell me everything from start to finish,” Louis said through a small smile as he tangled his feet with Harry’s under the table.

Harry bit his lip, trying to hold back his grin as he thought back to today. “So this secretary leads me to a room and I swear I was about to pass out from how nervous I was,” he said through a quiet laugh. “But she opens this door and there’s this amazing recording studio, I’ve never seen anything like it Lou…” Harry shook his head, still in awe. “And not only that but you’ll never guess who was in the room.”

“Who?” Louis asked, his smile widening as he saw how happy Harry was.

“Ed fuckin Sheeran!!” Harry nearly yelled, making a couple heads in the restaurant turn their way. “He was just sittin right there, like all happy to see me, like we had been mates for years!!”

“What?!” Louis whisper yelled, not believing it.

“Yeah!!” Harry said, nodding quickly. “He’s signed with them and he’s like their biggest client and our music style is similar so they had him listen to me and stuff!”

Louis opened and closed his mouth, unsure of what to say. Ed Sheeran was one of the biggest artists in England, in the world, and he had made time just to listen to Harry. “What’d he say? Did he like it?”

“You’re not gonna believe it babe… Seriously I’m gonna tell you something and you’re going to think I’m lying,” Harry said through a wide smile as he shook his head and picked up his water, needing to calm down.

“Well I already know they signed you so what else could you possibly tell me that would top that?”

Harry raised his eyebrows at the older lad, unable to wipe the grin off his face. “You, Louis Tomlinson, are looking at Ed Sheeran’s newest opening act.”

Louis sat there, just looking at Harry, unable to move, but then all of a sudden it hit him. “What?!” he yelled, now making the entire restaurant look towards them.

Harry nodded quickly, his own excitement exploding out of him. “His tour is ending in England and he’s bringing me along! Lou he liked me so much!! He said that if they didn’t sign me he was gonna start his own record label so he could!!”

“Shit Harry,” Louis breathed out as he ran a hand over his face, trying to grasp everything that was happening.

“And ya know with going on tour with him my name will get out there,” Harry said happily. “So after the tour they have plans for me to do a bunch of promo while I start recording my first ever album!”

“Harry I… I don’t even know what to say.” Louis said through a soft smile as he shook his head and placed his hand over the younger lad’s that was on the table. “I’m just… I’m so proud of you… Everything you wanted is happening.”

“Just about everything… I’m still missing what I want most,” Harry said quietly through a small smile as he rubbed his thumb over Louis’ skin.

Louis ducked his head as he felt a deep blush rise on his cheeks and Harry’s eyes on him.

“What’re we doing Lou? What’s our plan?” Harry asked softly.

“Well right now we’re on a date,” Louis said through a small smile as he looked around the quaint little Italian restaurant. “But as for a plan for us… I don’t have one,” he said as he laughed to himself and shook his head. “All I know is that I wanna keep going on dates with you.”

Harry couldn’t help the wide smile that spread across his face as he stood up slightly from his chair, only to lean over the table and kiss the older lad softly. “I told them about you you know?” he asked once he sat back down.

“Told who what?” Louis asked with furrowed eyebrows.

“I told the record label about you… Well about us,” Harry said quietly. “I wasn’t going to sign with them unless they were okay with it.”

“Really?” Louis asked so quietly it barely came out as a whisper.

“Really,” Harry nodded without even thinking about it. “Louis I want you. Completely, 100% want you, and I don’t want anything or anyone to get in our way.”

And Louis swears if they weren’t at a restaurant, and in the middle of a date he would’ve jumped Harry right there. He’s been terrified for well over a month. Terrified of getting hurt and left behind, but Harry couldn’t have made it any clearer that he was never going to do that to him. That he was willing to drop everything, forget his career for him and there was nothing else that could convince Louis that the green eyed lad wanted this as badly as he did. But Louis had to wait until after dinner to show the younger lad just how much he wanted to be with him though.

It was easier than Louis initially thought.

All dinner their feet tangled under the table, feeding each other their food and giggling into their hands considering they already had someone tell them to quiet down.

Harry told him about the rest of his meeting. Told him about how all of the songs he played were the same ones he wrote for Louis and those were the first to be recorded to go on his album. And as the younger lad was telling him this Louis didn’t believe it. He couldn’t wrap his head around that the boy in front of him was on his way to stardom, that in a few months his life was going to change dramatically, and Louis was lucky enough to be there along the way.

“Ready to go babe?” Harry asked once their desserts were gone and he stole the check before Louis even saw it was on the table.

Louis hummed as he wiped his mouth, making sure he was clean of the chocolate cake Harry was feeding him earlier. He took the younger lad’s offered hand and laced their fingers together before they made their way outside.

“Tonight was really nice,” Harry said through a soft smile as he looked down at the older lad.

“Yeah, it was,” Louis said quietly through his own grin, looking down at his feet as they walked down the pavement and felt Harry give his hand a light squeeze.

“So…” Harry drawled out, a small smirk spreading across his face. “I would ask if you wanted to come back to mine, but I see you already have a bag packed,” he said with raised eyebrows.

Louis felt his cheeks heat up as he shifted his backpack on his shoulder. He was grateful all night Harry hadn’t brought it up, but there wasn’t anything he could say or an excuse he could make up. “Yeah, well… I uh, I just thought, you know we uhm, we-”

“Please love, you don’t have to make an excuse,” Harry said through a quiet laugh as he shook his head. “You’re an awful liar anyway.”

Louis rolled his eyes, knowing that yes, he was exceptionally terrible at lying. “Whatever,” he mutter as he gently jabbed the younger lad in the side. “But uhm… I’m sorry if me bringing a bag is kind of, I dunno, forward,” Louis said quietly.

“Of course not babe, I was gonna ask if you wanted to stay over anyway,” Harry said as he smiled to himself and leaned over to pressing his lips to the older lad’s temple. “Makes it a bit easier that you have a bag. Don’t have to wear my clothes or anything like that.”

“Yeah but I like your clothes,” Louis mumbled as he kicked a rock in front of him on the pavement. “They’re all big and loose on me.”

Harry rolled his eyes as he released Louis’ hand, instead wrapping his arm around the older lad’s waist and pulling him into his side. “You’re adorable,” he said through a quiet laugh before kissing the blue eyed lad’s hair. “When we get to the flat I’ll give up my biggest and comfiest clothes, sound good?”

Louis hummed happily at the thought as he cuddled himself into Harry’s side, trying to escape the November chill.

The two made their way to Harry’s flat as quickly as possible, wanting to get out of the cold and inside to just relax.

“Where’s Niall tonight?” Louis asked once they were in the flat and he made his way to the couch.

“He’s with crazy girl from yesterday,” Harry said as he laughed to himself and walked into the kitchen. “Or maybe this is a new crazy girl, I dunno. All I know is that he’s not gonna be back until tomorrow,” he said, bringing a bottle of wine and two glasses over to the older lad.

“Good,” Louis muttered through a small smile, making Harry raise his eyebrows and smirk at him as he took a seat on the couch and poured them drinks.

“Here you are love,” Harry said as he passed the older lad a glass of wine and wrapped his arm around him.

Louis bit back his grin as he took the glass from Harry, still getting used to the pet names the younger lad calls him now. Hell, he was still trying to wrap his head around the fact that he just had a date with Harry, the same Harry he’s been pining over for well over a month now.

“Oh my God, I just realized I never asked about your day,” Harry said wide eyed as if he had committed a national crime. “I was so excited about mine, I never asked you about yours, tell me about it,” he said quickly, turning himself so he was facing the older lad.

“Uhm alright,” Louis said through a chuckle before taking a sip of his wine. “My day wasn’t all that exciting. Just hung out with Liam. We watched a couple movies, passed out on the couch and then you came over, that’s it,” he shrugged.

Harry hummed as he took a sip of his own wine. “You two always like that?” he asked quietly.

“Like what?” Louis asked with furrowed eyebrows.

“I dunno,” Harry shrugged. “All cuddly I guess… I walked in and you were just laying on him, it surprised me a bit.”

“We’ve been mates forever,” Louis said simply. “We don’t really have any boundaries and we’re both pretty big cuddlers,” he said through a quiet laugh. “That’s pretty normal for us. I mean in high school we were the same way and people thought we were dating and all this crazy stuff, and he’s not even gay, just handsy.”

Harry bit his lip as he nodded to himself, not all that fond of the idea of Louis and Liam being that close. He thought maybe that’s why Matt hated Liam so much, because it was clear just how close he and Louis are. But Harry didn’t want to be like Matt. He didn’t want to tell Louis to not do those kinds of things with Liam, even if he was straight, to Harry it didn’t make a difference. So instead of saying anything he just hummed and took another sip of his wine.

“But yeah, your day was much more eventful than mine,” Louis said as he swallowed his drink. “I mean you got signed to a record company for God’s sake.”

Harry couldn’t fight the grin that made it’s way to his face, still unable to grasp that he was a signed musician, that his dreams were coming true. “And I owe it all to you,” he said softly before kissing the older lad’s temple and pulling him impossibly closer to his side.

“I didn’t do anything but make a few calls, you really did all the work,” Louis shook his head.

“C’mon Lou, stop that,” Harry said as he put his empty glass on the coffee table. “If you didn’t make those calls, if you didn’t bother Michael and tell him over and over again to see me he wouldn’t have,” he said, wanting to get this through Louis’ head. “I owe all of this to you,” Harry said softly.

“Really Haz I didn’t do-” Louis was cut off by a pair of lips on his, making him go quiet as he melted into the kiss.

“Just shut up yeah?” Harry asked through a small laugh as he pulled just mere centimeters away from the older lad.

And Louis didn’t need to be told twice before nodding quickly, placing his wine glass down and wrapping his arms around Harry’s neck to connect their lips again.

Harry smiled against Louis as he felt how eager he was and couldn’t help the small laugh that escaped him as he pulled the older lad impossibly closer to his chest. He could feel the older lad’s hand come up his neck and bury itself in the back of his curls, tugging gently at the short hair. So Harry took that as a silent message and began to gently push Louis, making him lay down down the couch and crowding into his space.

He let out a deep breath through his nose as he kissed the older lad, trying to calm down as Louis’ hands were all over him. Up and down his back, gripping at his sides and his fingernails digging into the thin material of his shirt. Harry may have seemed controlled on the outside but on the inside he couldn’t keep himself together, his thoughts going a mile a minute.

He couldn’t focus on anything, just the way Louis’ lips felt on his, how hungrily the older lad was kissing him. Harry settled Louis between his thighs, just hovering over him as he laid on the couch, but when he felt the blue eyed lad’s hand press firmly into his lower back he didn’t waste a second before easing himself down on the older lad.

Harry felt Louis gasp against him as their hips met and that’s when he took his chance, tasting into the older lad’s mouth. He was completely pressed up against Louis. His crotch, his chest, Louis’ arms a tangled mess around him as they explored each other’s mouths. His hands all over Harry, just wanting to feel every inch of the younger lad before he slipped his hands under Harry’s shirt. His warm and smooth skin against his hands, gripping at his sides and running fingers through his curls, making it a tousled mess.

But then Harry was moving his hips, slowly circling them on top of the older lad, making Louis let out a low moan in the back of his throat.

“H…” Louis breathed out, taking his lips off of Harry’s as he squeezed his eyes shut, only to feel the younger lad moving down his jaw, his teeth grazing at his sensitive skin and planting hot kisses along his neck.

Harry hummed against Louis, his lips never stopping as he sucked, nipped and kissed his heated skin. His hips still rolling on top of the older lad’s, making Louis throw his head back into the couch cushions, his mouth open and silent pleas escaping him.

“O-off, off,” Louis barely managed to breathe out, making Harry still on top of him for a moment. “Shirt off, get it off,” he said tugging at the hem of the younger lad’s shirt.

Harry quickly nodded, pulling his shirt over his head and tossing it to the floor without a second thought before connecting his lips back onto Louis’, making the older lad shudder between his legs.

He tightened his grip around Louis’ waist with his knees, making their clothed cocks become pressed together. And then Harry was pulling at the older lad’s shirt as his head was thrown back into the cushions, yanking it up his torso and throwing it to the ground like he had with his own.

But Harry had to stop himself, let out a few deep breaths and slow down as he looked at the man below him. “So fucking gorgeous Lou…” he muttered, ghosting his fingers over the older lad’s chest, tracing invisible lines over his pecs and down to his stomach, stopping at the button of his jeans.

Louis bit his lip as a small whine escaped him, thrusting his hips up, wanting to feel something, anything against his growing hard.

“Easy love,” Harry said softly, bringing up his hand to cup the older lad’s cheek, gently running his hand over his stubbled skin before slowly leaning down and connecting their lips.

But Louis didn’t want to wait, he didn’t want to take it easy or slow. He’s been waiting long enough for Harry, been torturing himself and the younger lad for too long.

So as Harry kissed him gently, one hand cupping his cheek while the other was resting by his head, holding him up, Louis trailed his hands down the younger lad’s sides, carefully moving them to the button of his jeans.

Harry breathed heavily against Louis, feeling the older lad’s hands tug at his jeans and try to pop the button of them. And when he did, Louis didn’t even waste a second before pushing his pants to his thighs and reaching into the younger lad’s briefs, taking his length into his hand and stroking it gently.

It was within a second Harry broke the kiss, letting out a loud groan as his elbow gave out from under him, making him fall onto Louis’ chest and breathe hotly into the older lad’s neck. “F-fuck Lou,” he stuttered out, unable to pick himself back up.

“Jesus, so fucking big H,” Louis breathed out, not even needing to see, just feel the size of the younger lad’s cock and knowing how stretched out he would get from it.

Harry couldn’t say or do anything besides melt under Louis’ touch, with every pump letting out a small whine, muffling it into the older lad’s neck. “L-Lou, love please… C-can’t come like this,” he said, biting his lip to keep himself quiet. But even as he was saying it his hips slowly moved with Louis, gently thrusting into his hand.

Louis swallowed thickly, his breathing caught in his throat as he realized what he was going to say. “Bedroom, please, now.”

Harry couldn’t nod fast enough as Louis pulled his hand out of his briefs, only to stand up a second later and pull the older lad to his feet with him. He wrapped his arms around Louis, the older lad’s eyes locked on him, scanning over his chest, just taking him in before lunging at Harry, wrapping his legs around his waist and kissing him so hungrily the younger lad stumbled backwards, nearly tripping as his pants fell around his ankles.

Harry steadied himself, gripping Louis’ arse and squeezing at it, making the older lad wrap his legs impossibly tighter around him and Harry’s mouth fall open in a low moan. Louis took that to his advantage, swiping into the younger lad’s mouth and rutting his hips against Harry’s as his grip tightened on his bum.

“H… Bedroom,” Louis reminded him before connecting their lips again.

Harry nodded against the older lad, firming his grasp on his arse before stumbling forward, trying to ignore his shaking thighs as Louis rutted his clothed hard cock against his own. He was blindly walking, eyes sealed shut as he kissed the blue eyed lad messily, feeling him taking over his senses completely. Harry could barely feel his feet moving, didn’t know where they were taking him, only hoping it was in the direction of his bedroom. But with his pants around his ankles, no sight, Louis crowding into his space and rolling his hips against his own Harry was more than shocked that he had actually found his door, pushing the older lad up against it, making their clothed lengths meet harshly and both men hiss at the touch.

He felt Louis move his lips, his teeth gently nipping at his jaw before moving to his neck, biting his heated skin and making Harry frantically reach for the door handle. He managed to get it open a crack, only to barge through it a second later as the older lad sucked bruises into his neck.

Harry walked through his pitch black room, trying to step over his clothes littering the floor and find his bed and just as he was about to toss Louis onto the mattress his footing got caught in his pants around his ankles, making him and the blue eyed lad tumble forward, managing to land halfway on the bed.

“You fucking klutz,” Louis laughed into the younger lad’s mouth as he pulled him onto the bed, making sure to kick Harry’s pants off as he did so.

“Sorry,” Harry mumbled against Louis through a sheepish smile as he followed the older lad up the bed, never disconnecting their lips as they went along.

He hovered over Louis, retaking the position they had on the couch, the older lad’s hands running up and down his bare back as his other was lost in his curls. “You okay? This alright?” Harry asked in between kisses before leaning back into Louis, sealing their lips together.

“Y-yeah shit-” Louis groaned, feeling the younger lad’s hips circle on top of his. “Take these o-off,” he said, already reaching for his jeans button, needing to release his hard cock from the restricting material.

Harry nodded, getting Louis’ hands out of the way and using his own shaking hands to undo the button as the older lad leaned up on his elbows, attaching his lips to Harry’s neck and sucking gently before moving up him, nipping at his ear and circling his hips under the younger lad, trying to meet him in the middle.

Harry breathed out shakily, trying to control himself as he managed to pop the button on Louis’ jeans and push them down the older lad’s legs, finally getting them off him. And once they were off it was almost immediate Harry felt Louis tugging him down, their lips meeting in a hard and messy kiss.

Louis’ hips jerking up, aching for something, just anything to relieve some pressure off of his painful hard, and the two kept it like that for a little bit. Harry’s hips rocking on top of Louis, whining and moaning into each other mouths until the older lad couldn’t take it anymore.

“H-Harry please,” Louis nearly begged. “I want you...”

Harry just barely pulled away from the older lad, looking at him for a moment, making sure he really wanted that. “You sure?” he asked quietly.

Louis didn’t even need to think about it as he nodded and tugged at the band of Harry’s briefs. “Love if I wasn’t sure I wouldn’t have forced you to come in the bedroom, now would I?” he asked with a teasing smirk.

Harry ducked his head as he smiled to himself, that being the first time Louis has called him love, and the younger lad would be lying if he said it didn’t make his stomach twist into knots.

He kissed the older lad’s nose, only to reach for his bedside table drawer a second later, pulling out what he needed. “Tell me to stop whenever,” Harry said softly. “Or to slow down or anything.”

Louis swallowed thickly as he looked up at Harry, his green eyes shining bright in the moonlit room. But he didn’t even nod, just reached behind the younger lad and pulled him down for a soft kiss, pulling away slowly only to peck his lips one more time before letting his hand slide down Harry’s bare back.

The two worked their briefs off, leaving them completely bare as Harry reached for the lube bottle next to him, squeezing a fair amount of his fingers before leaning down, connecting his lips to Louis’ gently as his finger circled his hole.

He pushed in carefully, feeling Louis moan into his mouth, his breaths already becoming short. “You okay love?”

Louis nodded, his head thrown into the pillows and mouth open, shallow gasps escaping him. “Keep going.”

Harry nodded, pressing his finger in and dragging it out of the older lad as he kissed Louis on his nose, cheek, forehead, trying to calm him down.

“F-fuck H,” Louis moaned as he squeezed his eyes shut, toes curling at the end of the bed. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, more, m-more,” he rushed out, his back arching off the bed and an unruly heat rise in him,

So Harry added more, stretching the older lad and making him a whining and breathless mess under him. He kissed his neck, ran his hand up Louis’ side and rutted his own aching hard against the older lad’s thigh, trying to get some type of release.

“H-Harry please, I-I’m ready, please,” Louis nearly begged, digging his fingernails into the younger lad’s back and scratching slightly at his skin.

Harry nodded, trying to get his breathing under control as he pulled his fingers out of Louis, making him whine at the loss. But before he could even reach for the condom Louis already had torn the package open, reaching between them and slicking it up the younger lad’s painfully hard cock. Harry moaned at the feeling of Louis’ fingers around him, not even able to imagine what it will feel like to be inside him.

“Y-you sure you’re ready?” Harry asked breathlessly as he aligned himself with the older lad.

Louis nodded, gripping at Harry’s hip and steadying him. And just as Harry began to push in he leaned down, connecting their lips softly, allowing Louis to hiss into his mouth as he adjusted to him.

“You okay?” Harry asked carefully once he was fully in, running his fingers through the older lad’s sweaty fringe.

“Yeah, y-yeah,” Louis said, releasing a few deep breaths, trying to adjust to Harry.

Harry dipped his head and kissed him, seeing how worked up Louis was getting and wanting to calm him down. And almost immediately Louis melted into it. The older lad’s lips gentle against his own, his fingers massaging his scalp while the other hand ran up and down his side. And Louis couldn’t help but cup Harry’s cheeks between his hands and move his lips with the older lad’s.

It was a second later Louis felt Harry move though. His length dragging inside him as he slowly pulled out, only to softly push back in, earning a gasp out of Louis.

Harry had both hands firmly placed by Louis’ head, keeping himself in place before pulling out again, the older lad already arching his back, wanting Harry to hit him just right. And a second later the younger lad snapped his hips forward quickly, making Louis bite his lip to keep in a moan.

Above him Harry let out a long deep breath, his arms shaking as the older lad dug his heels into his legs, his fingers gripping his hip so hard it would leave bruises while the other hand scratched down his back. So again he pulled away, only to grip at the mattress under his palms, trying to steady himself before he thrusted back in.

“F-fuck H,” Louis groaned, digging his nails into Harry’s back.

Harry let out a few deep breaths before dipping his head and pressing his lips to Louis’ own panting mouth, and ground into him slow and deep at first. With each thrust the older lad whimpering against him, their kiss becoming sloppy as Harry moved on top of him.

Harry couldn’t help the high pitched sound escaping him as he began to grind faster into the older lad, snapping back only to push right back in with force. His hair falling into his eyes, brushing against Louis’ forehead while the older lad’s trembling lips kissed him.

With each thrust Louis felt like Harry’s cock was going deeper and deeper, the younger lad shaking above him, sweat dripping from his forehead to his chin.

“B-been wanting this for so long Lou,” Harry breathed against him, breaking the kiss but still pounding into him as he leaned his forehead against the older lad’s temple.

“Tell me,” Louis said, his voice tight in his throat. “How long?” he asked, squeezing his eyes shut, Harry sucking a wet kiss into his neck.

“Since I saw you in that lecture room,” Harry whispered, gently nipping at Louis’ ear, making him jerk under him. “You and you’re stupidly cute fucking pens, w-wanted all of you right there.”

“F-fuck H,” Louis stuttered out, Harry’s thrusts getting faster, him panting into his neck. “W-wanted you too,” he confessed. “But I-I couldn’t… I wanted to s-so badly but I-I couldn’t a-and-”

“I know love, it’s okay, I-I know,” Harry said, his thrusts getting sloppier, his heart pounding out of his chest as he gripped at the older lad’s biceps, trying to steady himself.

Louis clenched his eyes shut, Harry sucking at his sweaty skin below his jaw, the younger lad groaning into his neck while Louis let out a whimper with every thrust.

“God,” Louis gasped, his nails digging into Harry’s back. “I-I’m gonna come.”

“Go ahead love,” Harry whispered, his hand snaking between them and wrapping his fingers around Louis’ cock, making the older lad shudder under him.

Louis bit back a whine, his back arching against the mattress and head thrown back against his pillow. “Harry, H-H,” he stuttered out, the younger lad running his thumb of the tip of his length. “I-I… Fuck, Haz,” Louis gasped, gripping wherever he could on the younger lad, leaving bruises on his hips, arse, thighs, and scratches just from the older lad’s fingers and hands kneading into him.

Harry’s breathing started coming out in heaves against Louis’ sweaty skin, the air sticky and wet around them. He closed his eyes shut only to feel the room spinning with every grind into the older lad.

“L-Lou please,” he panted. “P-please come… F-fuck, for me, please,” Harry begged, his pace quickening, his hand jerking Louis’ cock before he messily pressed their lips together.

Louis was falling apart under the younger lad, sweat dripping from his forehead as he kissed Harry back, accepting his tongue into his mouth even while he was trembling under him. He felt Harry cradle his cheek, still pressing into him and pumping his length sloppily, but it only took two more pumps before he was coming fast and hard into Harry’s hand.

His lips shaking against Harry’s while the younger lad’s hips started to slow, only for him to shoot into the condom a second later with a high pitched whine coming from the back of his throat.

Louis kissed him through it, ran his fingers through the back of his sweaty curls gently and ran his hand up and down his side until the younger lad relaxed against him. And when Harry released the older lad’s lips lingered on his own before he kissed his nose and began panting against his sticky and slick chest.

Harry breathed into Louis’ neck, barely able to pull himself out of the older lad and throw the condom away before laying lifeless next to him. His chest rising and falling in heavy heaves as he looked over to Louis, only to feel a slow smile spread across his face.

“Louis…” Harry said quietly, turning over to rest against the older lad’s chest.

“Yeah?” Louis asked breathlessly as he felt Harry brush his fingers through his sweaty hair, gently massaging his scalp.

“I just wanted to say,” he began softly, kissing Louis’ nose before moving down to his neck. “I’m really happy you dropped all your pens,” Harry laughed against his skin as he kissed over all the marks he left on the older lad.

“You’re an idiot,” Louis said through an airy laugh as he shook his head and looked down at the younger lad with a soft smile.

Harry shrugged as he picked himself up, only to move up Louis and dip his head to connect their lips sweetly. “But I’m your idiot,” he grinned against the older lad, pressing his lips to Louis’ again.

Louis nodded as Harry kissed him, his own smile refusing to leave. “You’re my idiot,” he agreed, laughing in the younger lad’s mouth. And Louis didn’t think he’d mind if Harry stayed his idiot, if he stayed like this forever.

*~*

**1 Month Later**

“H… Love,” Louis said softly, resting his hand on the younger lad’s thigh. “If you keep bouncing your knee like that the whole car is gonna start shaking,” he teased.

Harry let out a deep breath as he nodded and ran a hand through the top of his curls. “Sorry,” he muttered. “M’just nervous, I’ve never done this kinda stuff before.”

“You’ve never what? Had a soundcheck?” Louis asked with raised eyebrows as he laughed to himself. “That’s all it is love, relax.”

“Yeah but this…” Harry trailed off, “this isn’t just a soundcheck. It’s a soundcheck with Ed Sheeran, in a fucking stadium, not some worn down bar.”

Louis let out a quiet breath as he nodded and rubbed the younger lad’s back gently. It was obvious how nervous Harry was for tomorrow night, his first big real show.

All of this felt like it wasn’t happening. The past month it’s been nothing but Harry in meetings, talking to his record label and Ed, planning out shows and coming up with a set list. He was given money to buy two more guitars and Louis swears he’s never heard anyone squeal like Harry had when he was told that. So the pair spent an entire day looking for guitars and by the end of the day Louis was exhausted and wouldn’t mind not listening to another guitar for the next year, but the look on the younger lad’s face when he purchased his two new toys was priceless.

In between all of that there was promotional stuff Harry had to do. His record company trying to get his name out there, and get the public to recognize him so he had days out with Ed, the two of them being papped together. Those were the days Harry loved the most because he got to spend time with his idol and fast growing mate.

And Louis stood by him the entire time. Waiting late nights just to talk to him over the phone or bringing him lunch when he had a day full of meetings. Louis knew it was going to get harder, but they made it work. When Harry was with him the younger lad refused to do anything business related, it was just time for them. Even if Louis was slammed with homework and didn’t even have time to pick his head from his work Harry was there, offering to do anything, or get anything the older lad might be, and Louis had to say that he loved those nights.

Harry finished his own semester at school and that was it for him. He had a year and a half of uni complete, but with him getting signed he didn’t see the reason to go back.

“Ready Mr.Styles?”

Harry looked up and realized they were at the stadium, his driver looking at him with raised eyebrows. “Yeah, thank you,” he breathed out, stepping out of the car and immediately reaching for Louis’ hand.

“It’s okay love, relax,” Louis said softly as he brought up their intertwined hands and gently kissed the younger lad’s. “It’s just a soundcheck, making sure everything is alright, there aren’t even any fans or people in there,” he said through a quiet laugh.

“And that’s terrifying in itself!!” Harry groaned loudly. “If I’m this nervous now how will it be when this place is packed?!”

Louis let out a deep breath, knowing there was absolutely nothing he could do to calm Harry down as they made their way backstage. The only thing that would somewhat make the younger lad relax would be to just give him his guitar and tell him to do what he does best.

“Harry, mate!”

Harry looked up from his shoes and couldn’t help the wide smile that came across his face as he saw the ginger lad. “Ed, hey,” he said happily, letting go of Louis’ hand only to shake Ed’s.

“Wait don’t even tell me!” Ed said suddenly, dropping their hands and looking over to Louis before wrapping an arm around the blue eyed lad’s shoulders. “This is him? The boyfriend? The muse?” he teased slightly.

Harry rolled his eyes but nodded anyway as he looked over to Louis and saw his cheeks bright pink. “Yeah, this is my boyfriend Louis,” he said through a soft smile.

Louis bit his lip, trying to hold off his own grin as he looked back at Harry. He still wasn’t used to it, “boyfriend”.

Louis remembers the night Harry asked him to be his boyfriend nearly two weeks ago. After several dates and long nights Louis spent in Harry’s bed the younger lad had asked him. And it wasn’t how Louis thought he would ask him at all, but if anything it was so Harry.

Louis’ head buried in his textbook, the crackling fire filling the otherwise silent room, but then all of a sudden he heard Harry’s guitar, the younger lad strumming on the instrument so loudly it made Louis jump in his seat.

And that’s when the obnoxious and very loud song of “Louis be my boyfriend” started. There weren’t any lyrics or a chord progression, just Harry strumming and basically chasing the older lad around the living room in a laughing fit and asking him over and over again to be his boyfriend. And Louis couldn’t help but roll his eyes and try to walk away from him, but Harry followed right after him, continuing with his “song” and asking over and over again.

Louis swears, just to shut him up he said okay and he couldn’t even say it completely before the younger lad’s lips were on his, crowding into his space.

“Hey mate, it’s awesome to finally meet you,” Ed said happily, wrapping his arm around Louis’ shoulders just a bit tighter. “Harry never shuts up about you when we got out, feel like I already know you.”

“It’s uh- I-it’s nice to meet you too,” Louis stuttered out, not even sure how he got that out, now realizing this was Ed Sheeran. It was Ed Sheeran in the same room as him, Ed Sheeran with his arm around him and talking to him as if they were actual mates.

“Quite the charmer you got here Harry,” Ed said through a chuckle as he pat Louis’ back and winked at him.

“Whoa, hey now, none of that,” Harry said as he shook his head at the ginger lad and pulled Louis into his side.

“It’s fine, really,” Louis said through a deep blush.

“Lou,” Harry said, looking down at the older lad. “What the hell?”

“Babe it’s Ed Sheeran,” Louis said, that being the only excuse he needed.

Harry rolled his eyes, not caring who it was, nobody was going to wink or do anything like that to Louis. “Whatever,” he muttered. “You do your soundcheck yet, or are you after mine?” Harry asked, trying to get back to the reason they were here.

“I'm all set,” Ed said through a small smile. “I just wanted to be here for you in case you needed anything, plus I had to meet this guy,” he said, gently nudging Louis with his arm and making him blush even more.

Harry looked down at Louis and pulled him even closer to his side, wanting him to remember that he was right next to him. “Well show me the way mate, let’s do this.”

Ed nodded and clapped Harry on the back before leading them backstage, walking past crew members and people still setting up.

Harry still was in shock at where he was. Tomorrow night he would be playing in front of thousands of people, opening for Ed Sheeran of all people and none of it felt real.

That was until he was handed one of his guitars and he got to center stage. And even if the seats were empty Harry could still feel his heart pounding, his hands shaking and sweating as he placed them on his guitar.

But somehow he managed to play a few songs, checking that everything sounded good and his earpieces were working just fine. And when the sound guys said he was all set Harry didn’t want to leave the stage. The more he played the more he loved it up there, and he couldn’t even imagine what it would look like with the lights dimmed, seats full and all eyes on him.

“You sound awesome mate,” Ed said happily as he came onto stage with his own guitar. “We’ve never played together, but let’s give it a go, have some fun with it.”

Harry couldn’t help but grin to himself as he looked over Louis on the side of the stage, his boyfriend sending him wide smile and thumbs up as he nodded at him. But then he realized he was about to play with the one and only Ed Sheeran, guitar God and his nerves picked back up.

“Relax H, you do this everyday, come on,” Ed said through a quiet laugh. “You start, just do anything I’ll follow.”

Harry let out a deep breath and nodded, looking down at his guitar before picking the strings. And something as simple as that turned into something incredible. Ed built off it, further and further they got it became more complex, the two feeding off each other and Harry doesn’t know how long they played, but after what felt like forever Harry glanced up to see if Louis was watching, only to see the older lad looking at him with a slacked jaw. And Harry thought maybe the concert wouldn’t be that bad, maybe he could get through it without having a major freak out.

*~*

“Hey, have you seen H?” Louis asked Niall with furrowed eyebrows.

“Yeah, he’s in his dressing room talking on the phone,” Niall mumbled with his mouth full. “Have you seen the stuff they put out here? This is amazing,” he said, reaching for more food on the table.

Louis rolled his eyes fondly as he pat the the Irish lad on the back and made his way towards the dressing rooms. He checked there not even 20 minutes ago and Harry wasn’t there and figuring the younger lad was nervously pacing backstage Louis went to look for him.

He walked past the stage crew, all of them in a frenzy to get everything ready for the show and to Louis it was all crazy. The backstage pass that was dangling around his neck, everyone somehow magically knowing his name and that he was with Harry, and the fact that it was Harry who was going to up on stage in less than an hour.

When Louis got to the dressing room he pushed the door open, only to find the curly haired lad indeed on his phone and smiling widely to himself.

He quietly walked into the room, the phone on speaker and not wanting to disturb Harry and whoever he was talking to. But as Louis listened it was clearly an older woman, he didn’t think much of it.

He walked up behind the younger lad’s chair, wrapping his arms around Harry’s neck, making him jump in his seat as Louis started kissing just under his ear, nibbling at it gently.

“Lou…” Harry said through a chuckle as he tipped his head up to look at his boyfriend.

Louis hummed, only to lean down and press his lips to Harry’s sweetly.

“This is my mum,” Harry said as he laughed to himself, pointing to the phone and the person on facetime.

“Oh, hello! You must be Louis!”

Louis felt himself freeze as he realized this wasn’t a call, but a video chat with Harry’s mum, a very important woman he’s never met. “U-uhm hello,” he said, feeling his face heat up. “It’s uh, it’s so nice to finally meet you Mrs. Styles.”

“And you dear! Harry has told me nothing but wonderful things!! And please, call me Anne,” she said happily.

Harry looked between his boyfriend and mum, the look of sheer embarrassment written all over Louis’ face. “Mum I’m sure Lou would love nothing more than to talk to you some more, and I know I do, but I need to go, it’s almost showtime.”

“Alright love, good luck, I know you’ll be amazing,” Anne said through a soft smile.

“Thanks mum,” Harry said as he bit his lip, trying to keep his own grin from widening.

Louis smiled at the camera and waved as the two said their final goodbyes, secretly grateful Harry said he had to go. “Why didn’t you tell me you were on video chat?!” he whispered yelled once Harry was off the phone. “If I had known I wouldn’t have-”

“Louis she doesn’t care,” Harry waved off absentmindedly.

Anne might not have cared but Louis sure as hell did, and he made a point of telling Harry, even after they were called to backstage, needing to go out in a few minutes. But Louis did stop his rambling as he saw his boyfriend growing more and more nervous.

He had his earpieces ready and one of his guitars slung over his shoulder, ready to go on when they told him to.

Harry had gotten a glance at the audience, the place packed and people everywhere talking excitedly, and he was sure he was a second away from passing out. “Holy shit I’m done, I can’t do it,” he said, pacing back and forth as he ran his hands over his face.

“Haz c’mon you-”

Louis slapped a hand over Niall’s mouth, knowing the younger lad wasn’t going to say anything to help Harry, “C’mere love, look at me,” he said softly, pulling Harry towards him by his belt loops. “Remember how much fun you were having yesterday on stage? It’s the same thing, the same exact thing.”

“Louis there are so many people and-”

“And this is what you do best,” Louis said almost firmly. “Look around you H, look at where you are,” he said quietly. “You made it… You got what you’ve always wanted, so take it and run.”

Harry ducked his head as he smiled and nodded to himself, letting out a deep breath and trying to calm his pounding heart. “You’re gonna stand where I can see you?” he asked just loud enough for the older lad to hear him.

“Of course, all night,” Louis said through his own soft grin. “You look at the side of the stage and I’m gonna be there.”

“...Okay,” Harry breathed out as he leaned his forehead against the older lad’s. “If you’re there I’m okay,” he said, talking to himself.

Louis smiled to himself as he buried his hand in the back of Harry’s curls, stood on his toes and gently pressed his lips to the younger lad’s.

“Hey Harry, you ready?” Ed asked as he walked up to the two.

“As ready as I’ll ever be,” Harry breathed out as he combed his fingers through his curls. “Can I uhm, can I ask you something?”

“Course mate,” Ed shrugged.

“How do you like… How do you know if they like it? What you’re playing I mean,” he said nervously, biting his lip.

Ed thought about it for a second before smiling to himself and shrugging again. “Depends on the song,” he said as he scratched the back of his neck. “If it’s upbeat like you want them up and kinda jamming along, but if it’s slow… The best thing you can ever hear from a crowd is nothing… You want them to be stuck, ya know? Kinda lost in it like you get when you play.”

Harry looked at the ginger lad for a second before nodding, hoping and praying he got that, that he got the responses he was looking for.

And before he could take another moment to gather himself, to relax, he heard his name get called, them wanting him out on stage. So with one more kiss from Louis, and quick hug from Niall Harry released the deepest breath of the night before getting into his stage mood and making his way out.

*~*

Harry could feel his blood pumping and his heart pounding in the best way possible as he looked out to the crowd. Through every song they’ve been responding to him, if he’s on his guitar or playing the piano they were on their feet jumping or awed in silence, and Harry hasn’t felt this good on stage ever in his life.

Even with lights blinding him, flashes going off from all corners of the stadium and people seemingly screaming over him there was absolutely nothing Harry would change.

All night he’s been putting out energy, being that stage presence he’s always dreamed of being. Harry was hopping on top of amps, clapping his hands and getting the people into what he was playing, even though they’ve most likely never heard his stuff before. And he felt like he had done more than a great job of warming them up for Ed. But when it was time for his final song, he took it down a little bit, became a bit more serious as he glanced over at the side of the stage, and of course catching Louis’ eye right away like he has all night.

“Alright, so this next one is unfortunately the last one I’ll be playing tonight, but it happens to be the song that means most to me,” he said into his microphone, stealing a quick glance at his boyfriend, only to see him smiling softly back at him. “This is Leave Your Lover.”

Harry looked down to his guitar, the stadium becoming more and more quiet as he began picking the song. And when he opened his mouth to sing the stadium was near silent. That silence that left the audience stuck, left them wanting more, or left them in awe. And Harry could feel how heavy the room became as he sang, his voice a slow drawl into the microphone as he gave it all he had, put every emotion he had into it.

As he looked out to the crowd all he saw was black, but the further he got, one by one he saw lights. Little white lights in the crowd, almost looking like stars. Harry knew people were putting their phones in the air, them waving them in the quiet room as he sang and picked his guitar, and Harry would be lying if he had to blink back tears at the sight.

And when it was over there was silence for a moment, nothing to be heard but the echo of the guitar string, right before the crowd went into a frenzy.

Everyone screaming, clapping and on their feet, and the only thing Harry could do to not cry was to wave at the crowd one more time before heading off stage.

Someone grabbed his guitar from him but Harry could barely process that, too busy looking for Louis. But when he saw him in Ed’s arms, his head tucked into his neck as he hugged him his face fell. “Louis what the hell? I-”

He was cut off from the older lad nearly sprinting at him and lunging into his arms, almost making the two of them fall over. And it was almost immediate Harry felt tears on his neck.

“Lou? Louis what’s wrong?” he asked nervously, looking over to Ed, only to see him laughing and shaking his head.

“N-nothing,” Louis hiccuped out. “I just… I love that song but I hate it at the same time and you started singing it and I-I don’t know,” he said, wiping his wet cheeks, trying to calm down. “I’m sorry, it was just so amazing, I couldn’t I-”

“Hey, hey, it’s alright,” Harry said through a small laugh as he rubbed the older lad’s back and kissed his hair. “Where’s Niall? He coulda helped you out a bit.”

Louis shook his head as he pointed over Harry’s shoulder and when the younger lad looked to see what it was he couldn’t help but let out a loud laugh as he saw his best mate with tear stained cheeks and nearly sobbing into his hands.

“Fuck you Haz! Shut up!” Niall said, trying to wipe his tears away.

And just from these responses, Harry knew he nailed it tonight. It was the first of many shows they were doing in England, and if he could get at least two people to cry then he could call it a show well done.

*~*

“You’ve been on the same page for the last 15 minutes.”

Louis jumped as he heard Liam’s voice, and then looking down to realize he hasn’t been reading at all. “Uhm yeah, just a bit distracted I guess,” he muttered.

“What’s on your mind?” Liam asked as he took a seat next to the older lad on his bed.

“Harry,” Louis shrugged, him being the only thing he really thinks about these days. “He’s been gone for two weeks and I just miss him,” he said quietly.

He wasn’t going to even pretend it wasn’t hard because it was. It was extremely hard to not physically see the younger lad everyday like he was used to, not be able to hold him or kiss him, but just look at a blurry image on a computer screen and talk for a couple minutes before Harry had to get back to something.

“Well he’s coming home next week, it’s okay mate,” Liam said as he rubbed the older lad’s back. “Just think about how good this is for his career.”

Louis nodded as he combed his fingers through his hair. “I know,” he breathed out. “But I think about that and I just get more worried… Like what happens when he goes on a world tour and I don’t see him for months?”

“Mate he hasn’t even recorded his first album yet…” Liam said with raised eyebrows.

“But it’s going to happen Li,” Louis said as he leaned against his headboard.

“Louis you guys have been dating for like a month-”

“Two,” Louis muttered his correction under his breath.

Liam rolled his eyes as he sat back with his best mate, getting himself comfortable on the bed. “Officially one, stop it,” he said as he shook his head. “But you haven’t been dating that long, who even knows if you’ll be together in a year or two when this big world tour will happen.”

Louis bit his lip as he looked down to his lap, knowing he couldn’t talk to Liam about this. He would just say he was jumping into things like he normally does, but with Harry he can see himself with him for the long run.

“I’m not trying to make you upset,” Liam said quietly as he looked at the older lad softly and wrapped an around around his waist. “I just worry about you Louis, I don’t want you to get hurt.”

Louis let out a deep breath as he leaned his forehead against Liam’s shoulder. “You and me both,” he whispered.

*~*

Harry combed his fingers through the front of his curls, trying to get his breathing under control as he rushed down the hall. He couldn’t contain his excitement as he realized where he was and who he was about to see.

Sure it was pretty late and there was no doubt in his mind that Louis was sleeping, but he hasn’t seen his boyfriend in two weeks and there was no time to waste. He wasn’t supposed to be home for another week but with a few days cleared up in his schedule Harry didn’t need to think twice before coming back home to surprise the blue eyed lad.

So when he got to the older lad’s flat he pulled out the extra key Louis gave him and pushed the door open, only to jog to the his room a second later. And just as Harry was about to wake his sleeping boyfriend he stopped in his tracks, feeling his heart drop.

He saw Louis sleeping, as he expected he would, but it was the fact that he was sleeping on top of Liam, his arm wrapped secure over Louis’ waist as quiet breaths escaped them both.

Harry wanted to leave. He wanted to pretend he never came home, that he didn’t find the two like this. But Louis always told him not to worry, that Liam was his mate and nothing more. So Harry pushed aside his thoughts and quietly walked over to the bed before gently shaking his boyfriend’s shoulder.

He watched as Louis scrunched up his face, his eyes barely opening before he shot awake, only to lunge into Harry’s arms and make Liam groan from the bed.

“Harry what the hell?!” Louis shrieked as he wrapped his arms around the younger lad’s neck and kissed him with a smile plastered on his face.

“Surprise,” Harry mumbled against his lips.

Liam stirred awake on the bed, rubbing his hand over his face and trying to wake up before he saw the two. “Harry,” he muttered as he stood up from the bed.

“Liam,” Harry said before not so subtly nodding towards the door, wanting him to get out.

“Right well, goodnight Lou, had fun tonight,” Liam said before making his way towards his own bedroom.

“Holy shit I can’t believe you’re here,” Louis breathed out as he pulled the younger lad impossibly closer to his chest. “I missed you so much, you don’t even know,” he mumbled into his neck.

“I think I have a clue,” Harry said through a quiet laugh before leaning down and pressing his lips to the older lad’s. “We haven’t been able to talk much and I just… I wanted to come home, I had to see you and tell you that I… I-”

“What’s wrong love?” Louis asked quietly as he saw Harry getting a bit worked up.

Harry felt his throat clench as he thought about what he was going to say. He couldn’t even describe what it’s been like to not be with Louis the past couple weeks, but then he comes home and sees him with Liam… He had to tell him.

“I just…” he swallowed thickly, gently resting his hands on Louis’ hips. “I want you to know… Need you to know that I love you.” Harry said quietly as he bit his lip. “I love you so goddamn much and I don’t care where I am, or how far away, I’ll always love you.”

Louis fell silent for a moment, searching the younger lad’s eyes, only to rest his forehead against Harry’s chest a second later, able to hear just how fast his heart was beating. “I love you too,” he barely whispered, feeling the younger lad relax against him. “Harry I’m scared…”

“Scared of what love?” Harry asked softly as he picked Louis’ chin up to look at him.

“What happens when it’s not two weeks, but two months? When you’re on the other side of the world and I’m here and-”

“Hey, hey,” Harry said, gently rubbing the older lad’s arms, wanting him to calm down. “We don’t know what’s gonna happen Lou, but I’m here now, focus on that.”

Louis bit his lip as he nodded, not sure if he would ever be able to stop his racing thoughts. He knew that one day, be it in a year or two that it was going to happen. Harry was going to leave and it would feel like a lifetime before he came back.

But right now Harry was kissing him, he was kissing him with so much urgency, so much want, like they had seconds left to live. And Louis wasn’t going to stop the younger lad as he gently pushed him on the bed, wasn’t going to stop him as he rid them of their clothes or thrusted into him with intent, telling him just how much he loved him.

*~*

**3 Months Later**

Louis walked through the halls of the recording studio, a place he’s come far too familiar with at this point with his usual bags packed with lunch.

He tried to come as often as he could, but between his internship at the high school and homework on top of that it became difficult. Louis was only able to make it about once or twice a week, but the days he was here to watch and listen to Harry were some of his best days.

He walked into the recording booth, and said a quiet hello to those at the soundboard as he saw his boyfriend running through a song.

Louis placed the food on one of the tables before looking through the glass of the booth and smiling to himself as the song filled the room. Harry’s hand pressed firmly against the right side of his headphones, his eyes closed as he put everything he had into what he was singing.

But Louis noticed he wasn’t alone. He saw a girl in the studio, singing with him.

Harry had never talked about doing a duet, especially a duet for one of the songs that he wrote for Louis, and as much as Louis hated to admit it the girl did make it sound better. That’s all that mattered, making the best album Harry possibly could.

“Lou!!”

Louis jumped at the sudden voice, only to see his boyfriend waving at him excitedly from the other side of the glass. And just as he was about to wave back he watched the girl who was singing with Harry pass him a piece of paper and winking at him before walking out of the booth.

Louis narrowed his eyes at the girl, and it wasn’t until he felt Harry wrap his arms around his waist did he stop his hard glare. “What did she pass you?” he asked, turning around in Harry’s arms before eyeing the girl again.

“I dunno, I threw it out,” Harry laughed to himself.

Louis hummed, an immediate smile making it’s way to his face as he looked up at the younger lad. “Good,” he muttered before kissing him quickly. “It sounded amazing by the way, I didn’t know you were doing a duet.”

“Yeah, they sprung it on me today. But it’s the last song to record and it sounds amazing so I wasn’t gonna fight it,” Harry said through a quiet chuckle. “So, you brought lunch,” he said with raised eyebrows.

“Right, yes, I did,” Louis said turning around and sifting through his bags. And just as he turned around to pass Harry his lunch he saw the younger lad holding a small rectangular box and a deep blush rising on his cheeks.

“I have something for you too,” Harry said quietly as he bit his lip. “I was uhm… I was going to wait until we went out to dinner, but I’m just too excited,” he said sheepishly.

“...What is this?” Louis barely whispered as he took the small box from the younger lad.

“Well I uhm… I just thought that with uhm, well I bought the new flat and you stay over at my place all the time, like every night, and we’ve been dating for just about 5 months now, I just- I was wondering if maybe-”

“Fuck Harry, yes!” Louis said before wrapping his arms around the younger lad’s neck, not even needing to open the box to know it was a key to his flat. “Of course, yes!!”

Harry felt a wide smile spread across his face as he looked down at the older lad, cupping his cheeks between his hands and bringing him in for a hard kiss.

His album would be finished by the end of the day, his single was getting released in two weeks, and the man he loved most in the world was moving in with him.

*~*

Liam went silent when Louis told him he was going to move in with Harry. He didn’t like the idea, not one bit.

They were moving too fast and Liam knew it was going to end in disaster with Harry’s fame guaranteed to grow. But Louis didn’t listen to him, he’s been told too many times by his best mate to slow down and by now he was more than sick of it.

Louis met Harry’s mum and sister at one of the concerts Harry was performing at and Harry met his own family over a Sunday dinner.

They knew each other, knew about each other’s pasts, their goals, their fears and everything in between. So to Louis no, he wasn’t going too fast, he was doing things just right.

And when he moved all of his things into Harry’s recently purchased flat, them fitting perfectly into the space Louis pushed everything Liam had said to him in the back of his mind.

*~*

Louis let out a quiet breath as he stood over the stove and stirred the simmering sauce.

“Lou, please, I’m trying to tell you how sorry I am,” Liam said softly. “I just… I can’t see you get hurt, I was looking out for you.”

“Why are you so convinced Harry is going to hurt me? What is it about him that makes you think that?” Louis asked with a touch of anger in his voice, still not fully over the fight they had last week.

“It’s not Harry,” Liam breathed out as he shook his head. “I was like this with Matt too remember…”

Louis nodded, that being more than true. If anything Liam was worse with Matt than he was with Harry, but that was understandable.

“I’m your best mate Louis, have been since we were babies, and I can’t sit and watch you get your heart broken,” Liam said as he shook his head. “But I do understand that I can overstep my boundaries, and I really am sorry.”

“Thank you for apologizing,” Louis said quietly as he glanced over at his best mate and back to the stove. “I guess I just wished you liked Harry… All I want is my boyfriend and best mate to get along and you guys don’t and-”

“Lou, Harry just doesn’t like me, it’s whatever it’s not like it hurts my feelings,” Liam shrugged.

“He just… I don’t think he likes how close we are…” Louis said slowly. “He doesn’t say anything, but I can see it.”

Liam bit his lip, knowing he and Louis were a bit closer than most mates and were maybe a bit more touchy than most mates as well, but that was just their relationship.

“It’s whatever,” Louis breathed out as he shrugged and checked the oven to see if the chicken was done. “If he was really upset he would’ve talked to me about it.”

Liam hummed as he walked behind the older lad, resting his chin on his shoulder to see what he was cooking. “Harry has you cooking dinner now?” he asked teasingly.

“No,” Louis rolled his eyes as he laughed to himself. “I want to do it. Everyday he’s so busy and comes home stressed, I just want something nice to be waiting for him.”

Liam coughed a few times, “whipped,” he muttered, clearing his throat.

“Shut up,” Louis nudged him gently, only making the younger lad wrap his arms around him.

And just as Liam was about to tease him a bit more they both perked their heads up, hearing someone come into the flat.

“Lou it smells incredible in here, what’re you-” but Harry stopped himself as he saw the two in the kitchen, Liam’s arms around Louis, at seeing him he very slowly released the older lad and backed away from him.

Harry stood there for a moment, just looking between the two before shaking his head and walking towards the bedroom to place his bag down. He sat on the bed, rubbing his hands over his face and trying to stop his racing thoughts.

Harry wasn’t going to lie, he hated how close Liam and Louis were, how every time he saw the two of them a pang of jealousy hit him. They were always touching or whispering something to each other, always laughing and smiling and Harry thought he understood why Matt and Liam hated each other, it wasn’t hard to figure out.

If someone didn’t know, they would think Liam and Louis could be a couple, they were that close. But Harry didn’t want to be like Matt and tell Louis not to do those things with Liam. He didn’t want to tell his boyfriend what he could and couldn’t do with his mates, he didn’t want to be like that. So he sucked it up, reminded himself that Louis loves him no matter what and got on with it.

“Hey, you alright?” Louis asked worriedly as he saw the younger lad come back into the kitchen,

Harry bit his lip as he nodded, noticing Liam had left. “Yeah I uhm, I’ve had a headache all day, I wanted to grab some medicine,” he said quietly.

“Did the interview not go well? Did something happen?” Louis asked with furrowed eyebrows as he took the chicken out of the oven.

“Interview went really well actually, I think it was just the photoshoot afterwards for the magazine that did it to me. The lights were really bright and they wanted like a thousand shots.”

“So was the photoshoot to go along with the interview? Like is it for the same magazine?” Louis asked as he glanced over at the younger lad, watching as he got down two plates.

“Yeah, it’s for the whole Rising Star exclusive they’re doing on me,” Harry said through a small smile.

Louis felt his own grin widen, still not over how rapidly Harry’s popularity was growing. “I’m proud of you love,” he said softly before kissing the younger lad’s cheek.

Harry turned his head, only to capture Louis’ lips with his own before following him to the table. “Thank you for making dinner, I really appreciate it,” he said helping the older lad get everything situated on the table.

“Well I know how busy you’ve been and I thought you might be a little sick of take out,” Louis said through a quiet laugh as he loaded his and Harry’s plates with food.

Harry hummed, not sure how many more nights he could handle chinese or pizza. “You thought right,” he said through his own laugh before reaching for his beer and taking a quick swig. “How was your day? Had your internship right?”

“Yeah, took home a stack of papers to grade,” Louis huffed. “I guess I should get used to it though. I even have to make a lesson plan for Friday cause it’s time I try my hand at actually teaching a class and not just sitting in the corner and taking notes.”

“That must be exciting,” Harry said as he offered the older lad a soft smile. “Mr. Anderson must think you’re ready to take on the class, that’s a big step.”

“Well I’ve watched him teach enough to know what to do, but it’s still nerve wracking… Like not that long ago I was sitting where these high schoolers are, it’s just weird,” Louis said as he shook his head and took another bite of his food.

“But you’re excited right?” Harry asked with furrowed eyebrows. “Like this is what you want to do?”

“Of course,” Louis said without hesitance. “And no worries, Liam already calmed me down when he was over today so I can spare you my overthinking freak out,”

Harry swallowed thickly as he looked from his plate to Louis, feeling his stomach twist into knots. “Lou…” he said quietly, wanting the older lad to look at him.

Louis hummed as he forked some more chicken, glancing up at his boyfriend. “What love?” he asked with raised eyebrows.

Harry scratched the back of his neck and cleared his throat as he shifted on his seat. “Well you… You know I love right?” he asked biting his lip. “And you know you can talk to me about that stuff, just any stuff... I don’t mind at all.”

“Of course I know that H,” Louis said through a small laugh, finding it ridiculous he would even ask that. “And I love you too,” he said before leaning over and gently kissing his boyfriend.

Harry kissed him back but when the older lad settled back in his seat and continued eating he didn’t think Louis got it. He didn’t think that his boyfriend understood just how much he loved him, how much he was willing to sacrifice or do just to be with him. And it bothered him that Louis seemed to think it was okay to have the same relationship they do with Liam but without the physical stuff. It bothered him to see his boyfriend wrapped in someone else’s arms, to hear him whispering things to Liam that he wouldn’t tell him. But if Louis said he loved him then Harry believed it.

*~*

Louis cracked his eyes open, the morning sun hitting him right in the face and when he rolled over to tuck his head into Harry’s neck, wanting to shield himself he couldn’t find the younger lad.

At that he opened his eyes fully, it not being every morning Harry was up before him, especially with how busy he’s been with the record label lately, him needing sleep now more than ever.

So when Louis shuffled out of their bedroom, his bare feet meeting the cool wooden floors that led into the kitchen he was surprised to find the younger lad at the stove, seemingly making a big breakfast.

“What’s all this love?” he asked through a small smile as he came up behind his boyfriend and wrapped his arms around him.

“Oh good, you’re up,” Harry said, looking over his shoulder and pecking Louis’ nose. “Just in time for my surprise.”

“Babe it’s like 8 am… What could you possibly surprise me with right now?” Louis asked as he laughed to himself, pressing small kisses into the younger lad’s bare back, between his shoulder blades.

Harry grinned to himself as he placed down the spatula he was holding, only to reach for the radio that rested on the counter a second later. “In about a minute you’ll find out.”

Louis furrowed his eyebrows, having no clue what Harry was talking about but then he heard it.

“And here it is, the newest and fastest rising star Harry Styles singing his new single, Leave Your Lover.”

Louis felt his jaw go slack as he heard the radio, only for him to have to cover his mouth with his hand as he heard the opening notes to the all too familiar song. He shook his head, not believing it, but that was it, that was Harry’s voice coming through the speaker, his song being played on the radio.

Louis looked between the radio and his boyfriend, backing away from him and shaking his head again. “Harry what the fuck you can’t just spring that on me,” he said, almost feeling tears well in his eyes. “It sounds so good, oh my God I hate you,” Louis mumbled. “You know I hate surprises.”

Harry rolled his eyes as he walked over the older lad, wrapping his arms around his waist and pulling him into his chest. “Love you too,” he said through a quiet laugh. “But they have it playing every three hours on all major radio stations in England, just to warn you,” Harry said teasingly.

Louis hit his chest playfully, but couldn’t help himself as he wrapped his arms around the younger lad’s neck. “I know I sound like a broken record at this point, but I really am incredibly proud of you H,” he said softly, playing with the curls on the nape of his neck.

Harry bit his lip, trying to fend off the wide smile that was trying to stretch across his face, but in the end he couldn’t stop it as he leaned down and kissed the older lad softly.

And the two kissed in the middle of the kitchen until the smoke alarm went off, and even when they managed to make the screeching alarm stop Louis was quick to grab Harry by his hand, nearly pulling his boyfriend into their bedroom and having zero intentions of leaving the room for the rest of the day.

*~*

**3 Months Later**

Harry kept a firm arm around Louis' waist as camera flashes went off around them rapidly. He put his free hand up, trying his hardest to shield the both of them from the bright light but even still he was seeing stars. And when they finally made it inside the flat building Harry had to adjust to the light and make his ears stop ringing from how loud people were screaming outside.

"Well that is something I'll never get used to," Louis breathed out as he ran his fingers through his hair. "How did they even know we were coming home?"

"We were caught out and stopped by fans, you have to figure that eventually we'll be coming home," Harry said through a quiet laugh as he pulled the older lad impossibly closer to his side and kissed his temple.

Louis nodded as he released a deep breath, just mildly annoyed that while he and Harry went out to dinner they were stopped. It wasn't every night they could go out like this because of their schedules and when it did work the night was always amazing, minus the fans and paps that seem to know where they are at all times. But Louis was happy at least they could go out, that he could have a romantic night with his boyfriend. And even when they didn't go out Harry was always doing little things for him because he understood how hard it was getting.

He would bring home some fancy wine or a bouquet of Louis' favorite flower. Harry would make special dinners if he came home before Louis did or surprise him with a pile of movies, candy and everything a person would want and need for a movie night in. And all of these little things Louis couldn't oversee. He loved how they had been dating for over nearly 8 months and the younger lad was still doing stuff like this for him, and he didn't show any signs of slowing down. Even with how busy they were and how Harry may be gone for a couple days or week to do promotional things for his album at the end of the day no matter where they were or what time it was or how hard it was getting they found time for each other. To sit on the phone, call over video chat, or even if they were home they always time made to be together.

“Well despite the company outside I thought tonight was really great,” Louis said through a soft smile as they walked down the hallway to get to their flat.

“Me too love,” Harry said, squeezing the older lad’s hand gently. “Now that the album has been out for a month things will slow down, I promise.”

Louis let out a deep breath but nodded anyway as they made it to their flat.

Harry opened the door, allowing Louis to walk ahead of him before he followed his boyfriend inside. “We didn’t turn the lights off did we Lou-”

“Surprise!!!”

The pair jumped, both of them letting out not so manly squeals as the lights turned on, revealing three wide smiling men.

“What the hell?!” Harry yelled, looking between Niall, Liam and Ed wide eyed.

“I need to sit down…” Louis said, clutching his chest and trying to feel if his heart was still beating. “I hate surprises,” he mumbled under his breath.

“I have some news,” Ed said in a sing song voice as he walked over to the curly haired lad and wrapped an arm around his shoulders.

“...And you’re all here because?” Harry asked confused, looking between the three.

“We’re going out to the club to celebrate!!” Niall said excitedly.

Harry furrowed his eyebrows, having no clue what was going on or why Liam was here. They weren’t necessarily friends. “Celebrate what?”

“You, Harry Styles are now a number one album selling artist!!” Ed said, grabbing the younger lad’s arm and jumping up and down.

Harry froze, looking between Niall and Ed, and trying to remember how to breathe. “W-what?”

Ed let out a loud laugh as he looked at his best mate. “I told management I wanted to break the news to you, but you my friend are the number one album selling artist in England.”

Harry shook his head and when Ed and Niall started nodding at him he only shook it harder. “No… No, no, that’s not possible,” he barely whispered. “I-I knew it was doing good but… No, just no.”

“Babe?” Louis breathed out, looking between Harry and Ed, wanting some kind of explanation.

“Look, right here,” Niall said, pulling up his phone. “Album Leave Your Lover, artist Harry Styles,” he said, pointing to the itunes top albums, Harry’s name at number one.

Harry snatched the phone from the Irish lad, squinting his eyes at it, only to drop it a second later. “Holy fuck!!” he screamed at the top of his lungs.

“Geez H, c’mon,” Niall whined as he picked up his phone, checking to see if it was cracked.

Harry rubbed his hands over his face, not even sure what he was feeling as he started to pace the living room. But then he saw his boyfriend just staring at him, and he couldn’t help himself as he lunged at the older lad, wrapping him in a tight hug. And it was only a second later Louis’ arms were around him, his head tucked into his neck and his lips moving up his jaw in frantic kisses until their lips met in a heavy kiss.

“I love you,” Harry pulled away, only to crash his lips back onto Louis’. “I love you so Goddamn much,” he mumbled against him.

“I was seriously hoping he would faint,” Ed muttered, a bit disappointed. “I had my camera ready and everything.”

“You and me both mate… Watching them snog is definitely not one of my favorite things,” Niall huffed out.

Liam hummed his agreement, looking at the pair that refused to let go of eachother and making a disgusted face. “So I was promised drinks tonight, and I think I’m gonna need them to be near these two,” he said jokingly.

“Shut up, you guys are the worst,” Louis said through a quiet laugh as he shook his head and wrapped his arms around his boyfriend, wanting him to stay close.

“Man I need to get drunk, this is great!!” Harry said excitedly, jumping in Louis’ arms. “Even if I get drunk I don’t think I’ll believe it, this is nuts,” he said, shaking his head and running his fingers through his hair.

“Finally yes, okay, let’s go!” Niall said, grabbing his best mate and nearly dragging him out the door.

Louis laughed to himself and shook his head as he watched his boyfriend get dragged out of flat and down the hallway. But he was right behind them with Ed and Liam, making their way towards the lift.

“I’m surprised you’re here mate,” Louis said as he draped his arm over Liam’s shoulders. “No offence or anything,” he quickly added.

“None taken,” Liam said through a small laugh. “Uhm yeah, Niall just called me, wanted to talk about some stuff,” he said quietly.

“Like…?” Louis asked with raised eyebrows.

“Just that… Harry talks to him, ya know? And he just said a couple things that made me realize some stuff, and I wanna try to be his mate… He means a lot to you, so I can at least try, right?”

Louis was a bit taken back by what his best mate said, and when they got in the lift with everyone else he couldn’t help but wrap the younger lad in a strong hug. “Thank you,” he whispered to him, more than grateful that Liam was willing to try to be mates with Harry.

Liam nodded at Louis as he released him, but of course when he let him go he saw Harry’s eyes on him.  “Hey, congrats Harry, really exciting huh?” he said, offering him a small smile.

“Yeah it is, thanks for coming mate,” Harry said, nodding at the older lad.

Louis thought that that was the most the two have talked to each other ever, and just at that he couldn’t stop the small smile that came to him. At least they were getting somewhere.

*~*

Louis jumped as he felt someone’s arms wrap around his waist and teeth graze his ear. But even in his drunken state he managed to turn around, of course meeting his boyfriend’s eyes and quickly connecting their lips.

“Come dance,” Harry slurred against him, not even waiting for an answer before tugging the older lad towards the dancefloor.

“My drink!” Louis whined, reaching for it.

“I’ll watch it mate, you go!” Liam yelled over the booming music, earning a thumbs up from the older lad before he stumbled through the hoards of people. “He’s always been a lightweight,” he said, turning to Niall and letting out a quiet laugh.

“Well duh, he’s tiny,” Niall scoffed before he took a swig of his beer. “Wait… Where’d they go?” he asked, looking for Louis and Harry in the dancing crowd but unable to find them.

Ed came up breathless and sweaty, taking the closest drink to him and chugging it. “Pretty sure H was dragging Lou into the bathroom to blow him, fuckin hilarious mate!!” he said through a barking laugh as he clapped Liam on the back, nearly missing from how drunk he was.

“They’re ridiculous,” Niall muttered as he laughed to himself. “You know that H told me that they do it at least four or five times a week? Like what the fuck? How do they have time for that shit and not be exhausted?”

“Making up for lost time mate,” Ed slurred as he shrugged to himself. “Harry can be gone for a while, and I’m sure there are some lonely nights,” he said through a small smirk.

“Yeah I’m sure the phone sex isn’t cutting it anymore,” Niall said through a snicker.

Liam sputtered his beer, not able to help it as all of this was news to him. “Do they seriously?” he asked quietly.

Both Ed and Niall raised their eyebrows at him, not believing he just asked that. “Mate that isn’t even the half of it,” Ed said as he shook his head and let out a loud laugh.

Liam opened and closed his mouth, not even sure what to say but before he could say anything he felt a heavy hand on his shoulder. And when he turned around he saw his best mate, eyes glazed over, cheeks red and a bright new lovebite on his neck.

“U-uhm H and I are going, going back to our flat, just wanted to say bye,” Louis managed to stumble out, trying to ignore Harry’s hands on him.

Liam couldn’t even nod before Louis was getting pulled away by Harry, the younger lad sending a wink to Niall and high fiving Ed before dragging him out of the club.

*~*

Harry rolled off of Louis, both of their panting breaths the only thing heard in the otherwise silent room.

His legs felt like jelly, his head dizzy and lungs feeling like they were about to combust, but to Harry there was no better feeling in the world.

“You…” he breathed out, looking to his boyfriend next to him and allowing a small smile to come over him. “You’re something else, you know that?” Harry asked, rolling over and pressing gentle kisses into Louis’ sweaty skin.

Louis let out a small laugh as he closed his eyes and ran his fingers through the back of the younger lad’s damp curls. “I’m telling you love, give me tequila and you’re dealing with a whole new beast.”

“I’ll have to give it to you more often then, won’t I?” Harry hummed before gently connecting their lips.  “Love you,” he said, pecking his lips one more time.

“I love you too,” Louis said through a soft smile, running his hand down the younger lad’s back. “Just not when you don’t use a condom, c’mon H,” he groaned, trying to ignore the uncomfortable stickiness.

“Sorry, was in a bit of a rush,” Harry said sheepishly.

“It’s not like it’s the first time you forgot,” Louis said as he rolled his eyes playfully. “Just come take a shower, you can make it up to me,” he said, sending a wink to the younger lad before swinging his legs over the bed.

Harry raised his eyebrows at that, more than happy to do whatever it was his boyfriend wanted him to. “Would you get mad at me if I don’t use a condom again?” he asked, snaking his arms around Louis and immediately attaching his lips to his neck.

“Well since we’re taking a shower I guess not,” Louis said in a fake huff.

And that’s all Harry needed to hear before pulling Louis into the bathroom with him.

*~*

**2 Months Later**

Harry tapped on the bathroom door gently, his heart dropping into his stomach as he could hear his boyfriend on the other side. “Lou…” he said quietly, biting his lip. “Babe can I come in?” Harry asked, already pushing the door open.

“No, no!!” Louis rushed out. “I can’t get you sick, go!”

Harry opened his mouth to protest, but before he could utter anything the older lad pushed him out of the bathroom and locked the door. “Louis why didn’t you call me? I would’ve come home sooner,” he said, feeling terrible.

“No I’m fine, just a fever,” Louis said, sitting back down on the cool tiled floors and leaning against the bathtub. “Babe I can’t get you sick, you’re too busy for that.”

“Then I’ll cancel my meetings and interviews and take care of you,” Harry said, not even needing to think about it.

Louis let out a deep breath, clutching his stomach and trying to get over the nausea he was feeling. “No, no, I already called Liam, I’m staying with him until I feel better.”

“What?” Harry asked so quietly he wasn’t sure if Louis heard him. “Louis I can take care of you, you don’t need to go over there.”

“Harry I’m not getting you sick,” Louis said, this not being up for discussion. “You’re doing promo stuff and travelling and I can’t get in the way of that.”

“You’re not getting in the way Louis…” Harry said softly, jiggling the handle but it was still locked. “I can stay home, I can cancel all my meetings and-”

“Harry stop!” Louis said almost annoyed. “Please just stop, I’m going to Liam’s, that’s it,” he said firmly, rubbing his hands over his face in frustration.

Harry stood there silent for a moment, not sure what to say. Of course he and Louis fought, of course not all days were good ones and doors would be slammed or screaming matches could last hours, but this was different. For some reason this just felt like Louis didn’t want anything to do with him, just didn’t want to be near him.

“Fine…” Harry muttered. “You pack your things to go to Liam’s, I’m going over to Ed’s with Niall,” and just like that he was grabbing his keys and making his way towards the front door.

*~*

Harry walked through the front door, adjusting his bag on his shoulder and placing his suitcase next to his feet as he let out a deep breath, happy to just be home. He hasn’t physically seen his boyfriend in two weeks. For one of those weeks Louis was sick and staying at Liam’s and the other was when he had to travel, but now was finally home.

He kicked off his shoes before slowly making his way towards his bedroom, aching to see Louis and have an actual conversation with him since it felt like they’ve barely talked at all the past two weeks.

But just as he was about to open the door of their bedroom he heard someone talking through the door, and it wasn’t Louis, but Liam.

“We need to tell him,” he heard Liam say quietly. “C’mon Lou, it’s been too long, we can’t keep this between us.”

Harry furrowed his eyebrows, straining to hear what the older lad was saying as he felt his heart begin to steadily pound in his chest.

“No I can’t, I can’t tell him, not now,” Louis said, it almost sounding like he was crying.

“Then when can you Louis? I swear if you don’t I will.”

“I have to be the one to tell him but I...I…”

Harry didn’t want to listen anymore. He could feel his blood boiling, the worst possible thought of what they could possibly be talking about going through his head before he bursted through the door.

“Harry,” Louis said startled, wiping his wet cheeks and standing up from the bed.

“Liam get out. Now,” Harry said, straining not to raise his voice as he kept his eyes locked on Louis.

Liam looked over to Louis, raising his eyebrows at him and silently asking what he wanted him to do. But when the older lad nodded at him he knew that was his cue to leave.

And it was only once Harry heard the front door open and close could he feel his breathing somewhat return to normal. “What were you two talking about?” he asked quietly, knowing if he talked any louder he would start screaming.

Louis swallowed thickly as he looked at the younger lad, not sure what to say. “N-nothing,” he barely whispered.

“Don’t,” Harry said firmly. “Don’t start that shit with me Louis,” he said through a cynical laugh as he shook his head. “What the fuck were you two talking about?”

“It’s not about you, well not really,” Louis said quietly, feeling Harry’s eyes dig into him. “There’s this uhm guy that I met at a coffee shop while you were away a-and Liam wanted me to tell you about him because he asked me out but of course I said no, but Liam thought you’d be upset if you found out without me telling you.”

Harry looked at Louis for a moment, searching his face to give anything away that he might be lying. “... What’s his name?” he asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Zayn,” Louis barely whispered.

“Why are you crying then?” Harry asked with furrowed eyebrows, feeling himself relax with each second that passed.

Louis bit his lip as he shook his head, looking anywhere except for his boyfriend. “I-I don’t know,” he said, fresh tears streaming down his cheeks. “I-I just can’t h-help it, I-I don’t know,” Louis cried into his hands. “Y-you’ve been gone and w-we haven’t talked a-and everything going on with you and work I-I can’t- I don’t know w-what to do.”

Harry felt his face fall as he saw Louis basically sobbing at this point, now feeling terrible for thinking something had happened with him and Liam. “Louis I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry,” he rushed out, quickly walking over to his boyfriend and engulfing him in a hug.

As Louis felt Harry’s arms around him he couldn’t help but cry even more. He couldn’t believe he just lied to him, lied right to his face and made him apologize for nothing.

Yes, he did meet a guy named Zayn who is studying to be an English teacher, but he didn’t ask him out. And Louis didn’t know how he was going to do it. How he was going to tell Harry what was really going on, what had happened without bursting into tears.

*~*

“Stop fidgeting love, you look great,” Harry said through a small laugh as they walked through the crowded room, everyone trying to stop and congratulate him on his album success and everything that came along with it.

Louis let out a deep breath, trying his hardest to ignore his stomach twisting into knots, ignore how the band of his dress pants were much tighter than they had been months ago. “It’s not that, I’m just excited for this grand announcement you have to make,” he said, offering the younger lad a small smile.

“Yeah, it’s a big one,” Harry breathed out, clearly trying to relax.

“So when are you going to make this grand announcement?” Louis asked as he scanned the room for Liam, desperately wanting to talk to him.

Harry was just about to answer, but then his eye caught something, rather someone from across the room. “Right after I talk to someone…” he said quietly. “Gimme a couple minutes babe, I’ll be right back.”

Harry didn’t even look at Louis to see if he was nodding or not before heading in the direction of the one and only Matt, the older lad smiling to himself as he saw him approach. “What the hell are you doing here?” he nearly spat through his teeth.

“C’mon Henry, it’s a company party, don’t forget I do work here,” Matt said through a quiet laugh as he clapped him on the back.

“It’s not a company party you arse, it’s an announcement party, one I know for a fact I didn’t invite you to,” Harry said, eyeing him.

“Well it’s our building, I’m welcome to come, relax,” Matt said as he shook his head. “What has you all wound up, geez. Lou not putting out enough for you? Maybe found someone to replace you with and you’re just getting pissy at me and not the guy who took him from you?” he asked with raised eyebrows.

Harry felt his jaw clench, his hands turning into fists at his side. “I’m warning you here mate… Don’t go anywhere near him.”

“What’re you gonna do? Threaten me?” Matt asked amused. “If I remember correctly I don’t think Louis likes boyfriends who threaten people.”

Harry let out a deep breath, not wanting to get into this with him. “Just leave. You have no reason to be here.”

“Fine… I’ll go,” Matt said, placing his glass down on the closest table. “But first lemme ask you something… How’s Liam been?” he asked with a small smirk. “Heard anything from him?”

“What?” Harry asked quietly.

“Him and Lou? They still close?” Matt asked. “I mean I can’t tell you how many problems that guy caused with Louis and I.”

“Yeah cause you’re a fucking dick who told Louis who he could and couldn’t see.”

“No, it’s not that,” Matt shook his head, a small smile reaching him as he saw how agitated Harry was getting. “They were just… Well let’s just say when we first started dating I may have caught them-”

“Caught them what?” Harry barely whispered.

“Oh, oh no, maybe I shouldn’t tell you,” Matt said as he bit his lip. “Just keep an eye on them, yeah?” and with that he winked at the younger lad before making his way towards the exit.

Harry stood there frozen for a moment as he watched the older lad walk away, not even sure what was going through his mind. Louis couldn’t have lied to him yesterday, he wouldn’t.

“Babe?”

He jumped at the sudden voice, turning around only to see his boyfriend looking at him worriedly. “What?” he asked, trying to stop his racing thoughts.

“They want you up on stage to make your announcement, Ed and Niall were looking for you,” Louis said as he looked at Harry with furrowed eyebrows. “You okay? What happened?”

“No, nothing, nothing,” Harry rushed out as he shook his head. “Uhm I better get up there then.”

He walked away before Louis could say anything else, trying to push away his thoughts, trying to ignore what Matt had said to him. But even when he got up to the stage and tapped the microphone to see if it was on he was only thinking about what happened yesterday.

“Alright everybody, gather around, it’s announcement time,” he said, trying to offer everyone in the crowded room a sincere smile. “So, as many of you know this isn’t just an everyday party, management and I have some pretty amazing news to share,” he said happily. “Because of the success of the album in two months I’ll be going on my first ever solo tour throughout Europe!”

There was a moment of shock in the room before there was a round of applause and one very loud Niall screaming in the back how excited he was for his best mate. And despite everything that Harry had been thinking about for the past two days this made him happy. It was still surreal that he got the opportunity to do this and that his career was really taking off. The only thing that worried him was Louis.

As he hopped off the stage, earning congratulations from everyone in the room he scanned over the crowd, looking for the blue eyed lad, but couldn’t find him.

“Hey Ed, have you seen Lou?” he asked the ginger lad with furrowed eyebrows.

“Uhm yeah, he went into the back room with Liam,” Ed said before taking a swig of his beer. “But hey H, congrats on the tour, that’s incredible,” he said happily before hugging his best mate.

“Thanks mate,” Harry said through a small smile, but as soon as Ed released him he went looking for Louis, wanting to know if the older lad even heard his announcement.

He rushed towards the back of the room, desperately wanting to talk to his boyfriend and once he reached the door he pushed it open, wanting to see if Louis was actually in there with Liam.

And when Harry saw that he was with Liam his heart stopped at the sight of the two. He closed the door slightly, still keeping it open a crack so he could hear and see them and at the position they were in it was making his blood boil.

Liam’s arms firm around Louis, their heads nearly touching as he whispered something to him and yet again Louis was crying.

“Li I can’t, definetely not now,” Louis said shaking his head and trying to even his shaky breaths.

“Louis you have to,” Liam said, bringing up his hands to cup his cheeks. “You should have told him the truth last night,” he said softly.

Harry looked at the two, freezing where he was as he realized Louis did lie to him. But why? He didn’t understand, what was so bad that his boyfriend felt the need to lie? Looking at the two men in front of him though Harry had a clue. A clue that made his heart fall into his stomach and his eyes fill with tears.

“I was scared, I-I panicked,” Louis stuttered out.

“But he’s leaving now Louis, you need to tell him,” Liam said firmly. “Please, you have to and if you can’t I will, you don’t even have to be in the room.”

Louis shook his head furiously, tears streaming faster and faster down his cheeks.

“Hey, hey it’s okay, c’mere,” Liam said, pulling the older lad into his chest and kissing his hair.

Harry couldn’t take it anymore as he saw the two. He shoved the door open, making it slam against the wall and the pair quickly broke apart at the sudden noise.

“H-Harry,” Louis said wide eyed. “Please I can expla-”

“Explain what Louis?” Harry asked as he swallowed thickly, begging his tears not to escape him. “Explain how you lied to me? H-how you fucking went behind my back with him?” he asked, narrowing his eyes at Liam.

“No, p-please I swear it’s not what you think,” Louis said, taking a step closer to the younger lad.

“Don’t fucking come near me,” Harry said through gritted teeth as he backed away from him. “I knew it… The entire time I knew it and I believed you… I believed it when you said you loved me, when you said nothing was going on between you two.”

“Harry please if you listen to him-”

“You,” Harry said, pointing an angry finger at Liam. “You have no fucking right to talk right now,” he said, glaring at the older lad before looking back to Louis, seeing him crying into his hands.

Louis hiccuped a few times, trying to gather himself, trying to pretend none of this was happening. “Harry I do love you-”

“Don’t,” Harry shook his head firmly, all the hurt he had built up replaced with rage as he looked between the two.

“Please, please H,” Louis nearly begged. “I love you so much, I-”

“I don’t want to hear it,” Harry said stopping him again, his hands forming into fists at his side.

“Harry…” Louis barely whispered, trying to stop his constant sobs. “I-”

“I said I don’t want to hear it!!!” Harry screamed at the top of his lungs, his face going red in anger. “I gave you fucking everything Louis!! I was willing to do anything for you and in return you do this shit to me?!” he continued to yell, feeling his heart break over and over again.

Harry let out a few deep breaths, combing his fingers through his hair and shaking his head, trying to figure out where he went wrong, how they got to this point.

“This… Whatever the fuck we have, it’s done,” he said, looking back to the older lad with a hard glare. “I’m done,” Harry barely whispered, his tears brimming his eyes as he turned to walk out of the room, needing to get out of there, to just leave.

“Harry stop, wait-”

Harry abruptly turned around, pulling his arm out of Liam’s grip and shoving him roughly on his chest. “Just take that fucking slut and leave.”

“What the hell did you just call him?” Liam asked with narrowed eyes as he took a step closer to Harry.

“You heard me,” Harry nearly spat through his teeth, not breaking eye contact with the older lad. “Matt was right all along. Louis cheated on him with me, it was stupid of me not to think he wouldn’t do it again,” he said, looking over Liam’s shoulder, only to find Louis looking as hurt as he felt.

He looked between the pair one more time, backing away from Liam and trying not to break down in tears as he rushed out of the room, never wanting to look back.

*~*

He ignored his calls, he didn’t respond to his texts or emails, and Louis didn’t know what to do. Harry wouldn’t listen to him, didn’t want to talk to him or see him and all Louis had to say was one thing. Tell the younger lad what has him so scared, now more than ever because Harry wasn’t with him, didn’t want anything to do with him.

But he called everyday. Louis laid in his bed, his pillow soaked with tears and his throat raw as he pressed his phone to his ear, it going directly to voicemail every time, but he didn’t stop.

After nearly three weeks of nothing though Louis had accepted his fate, Harry was never coming back, and that hurt more than anything that had happened in the past month combined.

But Louis had to tell him, he had to actually leave a voicemail and tell Harry why he was acting the way he was. So for a final time Louis picked up his phone, his eyes stinging, throat hoarse and nose running he laid in his disheveled bed as it rang over and over again. And when he heard the familiar voice telling him to leave a message at the beep, this time Louis did.

“H-Harry, it’s uhm i-it’s me,” he hiccupped out before swallowing thickly. “Please I know what you think I did, what you think Liam and I did, but that’s not w-what happened… I was so scared Haz and now I’m more terrified than ever because you’re not here and I can’t do this alone, please,” Louis nearly begged into the phone, biting his lip as he realized what he was about to say, what he was about to admit for the first time out loud. “Harry please, I’m pregnant…”

All I Want Playlist

 

 

 

 

 

[Let Me Love You](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_eTytNgcYOk) [Ne-Yo-Glee Version](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_eTytNgcYOk) 3:38

[Leave Your Lover](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M8pK3KBwC84) [Sam Smith](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M8pK3KBwC84) 3:26

[The Otherside](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l4Lt4zlCb-M) [Taylor Ward](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l4Lt4zlCb-M) 2:58

[Give Your Heart A Break](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XKiUcTvr-TQ) [Glee Version](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XKiUcTvr-TQ) 3:29

[Friends](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Myaod6GC4U) [Ed Sheeran](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Myaod6GC4U) 3:09

[Make You Feel My Love](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jNBmoj32pq4) [Adele](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jNBmoj32pq4) 3:15

[Tonight](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k-6WAexAPP4) [John Legend Ft. Ludacris](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k-6WAexAPP4) 3:57

[Sometime Around Midnight](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m53cWa-CdUg) [The Airborne Toxic Event](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m53cWa-CdUg) 5:03

[Kiss Me](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MXL8BEPl-Nw) [Ed Sheeran](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MXL8BEPl-Nw) 4:35

[Code by Layouttesst](http://layouttesst.livejournal.com/profile)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts on the chapter ?? Did you think either Harry or Louis did anything right by not speaking up sooner about what was bothering them ?? Leave comments, give kudos if you haven't and if you have any questions, or want to know when I'll be updating next you can ask on here or on my [tumblr](http://lhstylinson9193.tumblr.com/) thanks !!


	3. Chapter 3

**4 Years Later**

Louis scanned over the paper in his hands, releasing a deep breath as it was only the first day back to school and already his desk was covered in students' work. But thankfully enough this wasn't so much a graded assignment, but a sheet to get to know the kids he's lucky enough to be teaching this semester.

And just as he was adjusting his glasses on the bridge of his nose, picking up a new sheet to look over he heard the bell ring overhead. A couple students nervously shuffled into his room, looking around and trying to find a seat to start his 8th period and finally last class of the day.

"Hey guys, take a seat anywhere and when everyone shows up we'll get started," he said, looking over the top of his glasses and offering the few kids a warm smile.

And as he expected there was silence, not uncommon on the first day, but to be apart of Louis' drama class you had to be loud and willing to put yourself out there. The first day was always the hardest though to get the kids out of their shells, especially with them being high schoolers and trying not to look ridiculous, but Louis did have a few tricks up his sleeve.

Once he saw that the room was pretty much filled, all the kids looking at him like a deer caught in headlights or just bored Louis stood up from his chair, only to stand in front of his desk and take a seat on it, letting his feet dangle an inch off the ground.

"You guys know you can talk right, we're not in church," he said, earning a few laughs and a fair amount of smiles.

One point for Tomlinson, so far so good.

"Alright," Louis breathed out, taking his glasses off and placing them behind him on the desk. "Well, welcome to Drama, I'm Mr.Tomlinson and I'll be your teacher for the semester. Just so you guys know a little about me I've been working here for two years, and before that I interned for a year with Mr.Anderson, some of you may know him, but clearly I took over for him after he retired. And we can pretend for my own self esteem that any of you actually care."

And again, there was nervous laughter filling the room, this time more so than not.

"So this semester in drama we'll be analyzing some of Shakespeare's plays, I know, I know I'm sorry but it has to be done," Louis said before anyone started groaning, instead earning another laugh. "But we'll also be doing fun stuff like performing improv, how to deliver lines like for example comedic timing, and some writing. Now it's going to be fun, I promise you, but you guys do need to put in some work and loosen up a bit. I feel like I'm talking to my cat, you guys are just staring at me like you have no clue what's going on or you're just hungry."

That officially broke the ice, this time loud laughs heard throughout the room and Louis couldn't help the small smile that came across him as he began to pass out the course syllabus and talked about how marking will be done and important dates they should remember.

"So now that all that boring stuff is done we can start the real fun, or as I would like to call it first day torture improv," he said, earning a few wide eyes from the class. "I'm kidding, I'm kidding geez... It's not total torture," Louis said jokingly.

"I'm sure it's more fun for you than it is for us."

Louis looked up and let out a quiet chuckle saw he saw that the boy was clearing joking. "You sir are 100% correct," he said, trying to remember his name, thinking maybe it was Evan. "But if you guys relax, don't care so much about what people are thinking about you it can be loads of fun, trust me."

So Louis began to explain the game scene replay, getting out his trusty bowl full of random scenarios that the lucky one or two chosen people will have to play out. And when he was done explaining the game he wasn't so surprised to see the entire class a bit mortified at the idea of having to go up there and perform in front of everyone.

"Do I have any volunteers?" Louis asked, his eyes scanning the room. "No? None at all? I don't want to have to call on random, that-"

"Daddy!!"

Louis snapped his head up, a smile immediately making it's way to his face as he saw his son sprinting at him. "How was he Zayn? Alright?" he asked, scooping Holden into his arms and giving him a sloppy kiss on his cheek.

"Good as always," Zayn said through a quiet laugh.

"Good," Louis said quietly, offering the 3 year old a soft smile. "Oh right, uhm sorry, I completely forgot with going back to school and everything," he started, turning back to his class who were looking at him confused. "This is my son Holden, can you say-"

"Hi!!" Holden said excitedly, nearly bouncing in his father's arms.

Louis rolled his eyes fondly as a few laughs were heard throughout the room. "And because you're my last class of the day and his daycare ends before our school does he'll be joining us," he explained. "I'm sure a number of you know Mr.Malik, teaches English." Louis said, noticing some of the girls not so subtly gawk at his mate.

"Hey guys," Zayn said through a small smile. "I'd love to stay and chat Lou but I have hall duty in 5 minutes. Have fun with first day torture improv!" he said, letting out a quiet laugh as he left the room.

Louis watched as Zayn left before looking back to his son in his arms. "Have a good day buddy?"

"The best day! I draw you a picture!" Holden said happily, wiggling in his daddy's arms to reach for his backpack and show him.

"Show me later big guy, I have to get back to class," Louis said, nodding towards the students watching them.

"Oh, okay," Holden said softly, knowing this was quiet time.

As soon as his daddy put him down he rushed over to his father's desk, standing on his tippy toes to get in his chair and pull out his coloring books.

Louis couldn't help the small laugh that escaped him, this being routine as they did it all last year and by now Holden knew very well what to do while his daddy taught.

"So, enough wasting time, who's going up first?" he asked with raised eyebrows as he clapped his hands together, still getting no response. "Alright, you guys are making me pull out the big gun... C'mere H, help daddy pick out his first victims."

Holden smiled widely to himself, always loving when he got to play in his father's class. "Daddy I pick one person, they and I play," he said, already hopping out of his chair and standing in front of the class.

"Oh this'll be fun," Louis muttered, watching his son walk back and forth through the aisles of desks, seemingly playing duck duck goose as he tapped each person on their shoulder, until he found someone to be goose.

"Goose! You play!" Holden said.

Louis had to slap a hand over his mouth as he saw who his son picked. This kid must've been the biggest boy Louis has ever seen in his life. His muscles the size of Louis' head and towering over Holden even just sitting down.

"Alright c'mon Peter, you're goose let's play," Louis said as he laughed to himself and waved the blushing boy up towards the front of the class. "My son has made it very clear he wants to play, so have some fun with it, he's 3, you can act like it too."

Everyone had smiles on their faces as Holden led Peter up to the class, 10 of his steps equalling about one of the older boys.

"Okay, good," Louis said happily, now having both of them up there. "So, our surprise improv scenario is..." he drawled out, reaching into his bowl of folded up papers. "You're both super heroes and you each think you're better than the other."

"Yes!!" Holden cheered excitedly. "Daddy can I go first I ready!"

"Sure buddy," Louis said through a small laugh, noticing that his entire class was watching with amusement. "Peter you know what you're doing?"

"Uhm, yeah I think I got it," he said quietly, scratching the back of his neck and looking down at the 3 year old in front of him.

"Alright boys, let's begin!" Louis said, taking a seat on his desk again and keeping his eyes on the two.

"I am the super spiderman!" Holden bursted out, making loud laughs escape the room. "My web is more better than you!!" he said, pretending he was shooting the older boy with his web.

Peter stood there, just looking at the toddler, unsure what to do.

"C'mon mate, imagine where you are, what the scene is. Maybe you're on the city street or on a rooftop and you have to prove you're a super cool hero, show us something!" Louis said making more laughs erupt in the room.

"Okay uhm..." Peter thought for a second, trying to get into character. "Your spidey powers are no good against Batman!" he tried, himself earning a few chuckles from the class, lightening him up a bit.

Holden scoffed as he rolled his eyes. "Spiderman always wins! Here I show you,” and just like that he was running around the front of the room, punching and kicking the air before doing a roll on the floor.

Peter let out an amused laugh as he watched the 3 year old, along with everyone else in the class trying to contain themselves. He looked over to his teacher, the older man nodding at him, wanting tim to come up with something.

“Is that all you can do?” Peter asked with raised eyebrows, making the toddler’s jaw go slack. “Unlike you Spiderman I can fly!” he said, feeling himself loosen up as the class laughed.

“Oh yeah?” Holden asked as he crossed his arms over his chest. “Prove it. Make me fly,” he said challengingly.

Peter opened and closed his mouth as he looked down at Holden, having no clue what to do. So again he looked over to his teacher, seeing he was just as amused as everyone else before mouthing “pick him up”.

“Okay, fine,” Peter breathed out before looking back down to the 3 year old and cautiously picking him up, happy that the toddler didn’t protest.

He situated Holden in his arms, basically laying him horizontal before running around the room with him, making the toddler squeal as he was “flying”. And that’s what had the room bursting into laughter, the loudest of the day as they watched the two zoom around the room.

Louis watched on, unable to wipe the smile off his face as he saw the two continue their scene. His son was barely able to hold it together as he kept giggling to himself, still a bit dizzy after Peter spun him around. But when Holden was laughing so hard, almost needing to sit down from watching Peter Louis called scene, class coming to an end anyway.

“See? That wasn’t so bad, was it?” Louis asked once the class had calmed down and he picked up his dizzy son, placing him down in his desk chair. “Who thinks they’ll want to go tomorrow?”

There were a few hesitant hands raised, the kids all looking to each other and biting their lips.

"Alright what if I throw Holden in there? Then will you do it?" He asked with raised eyebrows and it was almost immediate everyone's hand shot up. "Okay, okay, I'll see you tomorrow," he said through a chuckle as he shook his head.

"Wait! I say bye!!" Holden said, shooting out of his seat and running towards the door, giving every single person that walked out a high five and toothed grin.

"Bye little man, see you tomorrow," Peter said through a quiet laugh once Holden high fived him and he ruffled the toddler's hair.

Holden waved back excitedly, happy to make a friend in his daddy's new class.

"Buddy give me 5 minutes to pack my things and then we can go, okay?" Louis asked through a small smile, seeing that all the kids had left.

"Okay daddy," Holden said, skipping over to his backpack and making sure he had his own things all packed up. "Wait daddy my drawing!!" He said excitedly, pulling out the paper and waving it.

Louis perked his head up as he slung his messenger bag over his shoulder and scanned over his desk, making sure he had everything. “Can I see?” he asked as he led them out of the room, reaching for the paper.

Holden rushed after his daddy, immediately handing him his picture and wrapping his little hand around his father’s two fingers as they walked down the hall. “See? It me, you, uncle Liam and uncle Zayn!” he said happily.

“I love this buddy,” Louis said, smiling down at his son. “As soon as we get home I’ll be sure to hang it on the fridge.”

At that Holden jumped excitedly, squeezing his daddy’s fingers and grinning widely to himself.

Louis rolled his eyes fondly at his son before looking up, only to stop in his tracks as he saw a blonde haired man walking down the hall with the principal. The same blonde haired man he hasn’t seen in nearly 4 years.

“H… H c’mon,” he said, quickly picking up his son and turning down a different hallway, nearly jogging.

“Daddy?” Holden asked, almost worriedly as he wrapped his arms around his father’s neck. “Where we going?”

Louis could barely think as he rushed down the hall, still trying to wrap his around who he just saw. But he knew his son was getting more and more nervous and he didn’t want him to think anything was wrong.

“We’re going home buddy,” Louis said quietly, adjusting the toddler on his hip and looking for the closest exit.

*~*

“Louis you home?” Liam called into the house as he stepped inside, only to be attacked by a little body a second later.

“Uncle Liam!!” Holden yelled excitedly, trying to wrap his arms around the older man’s legs.

“Hey big guy,” Liam said through a soft smile as he scooped up the toddler and kissed him quickly. “Where’s your daddy? I gotta talk to him.”

“Kitchen,” Holden said happily, jumping in his uncle’s arms.

Liam nodded and adjusted the 3 year old on his hip before walking through the house, making his way to the kitchen and finding his best mate in the middle of cooking dinner. “Hey, I’m sorry my shift just ended and I checked phone as I was leaving.”

Louis looked up from noodles boiling on the stove and to Liam, noticing he was still in his scrubs. “H can you go play so uncle Liam and I can talk?”

Holden nodded quickly, making sure to give his uncle one more hug before wiggling out of his arms and running into the living room.

Liam made sure the 3 year old wasn’t in earshot before turning back towards the older lad. “So you saw Niall?” he asked quietly. “And you’re sure it was him, like not even-”

“It was him,” Louis shook his head. “Might not have seen him for a couple years but I’d recognize him anywhere…”

Liam bit his lip as he nodded and leaned against the counter. “So do you think he got a job at the school? He was studying to be a music teacher.”

“I don’t know, he was just walking down the hall with the principal but what other reason does he have being there?” Louis breathed out as he ran a hand over his face.

“So what’re you gonna do?” Liam asked quietly. “I mean I don’t think you can go undetected for too long and sooner or later he’ll learn about Holden.”

Louis let out a deep breath as he shook his head and turned back to the sauce simmering on the stove. “Harry already knows about him, I’m sure Niall does too,” he barely whispered.

“You don’t know that Louis,” Liam said softly. “Harry might not know and-”

“Bullshit,” Louis said angered. “That’s just complete bullshit because I called him, texted him, left him a message telling him!!” he said raising his voice. “I send him fucking emails with pictures of Holden all the time and-”

“Lou,” Liam warned gently, wanting him to calm down so Holden wouldn’t come in and ask what’s wrong.

Louis shook his head as he clutched the counter and tried to even his breathing. “How can he not care? How can he just…”

Liam let out a quiet breath as he walked towards his best mate and wrapped his arms around him. It’s been too many times Louis has asked these questions and never found an answer for them. And Liam wasn’t sure he ever would get an answer, but all he could do was be there for his best mate.

“Daddy mail come!” Holden said, scurrying into the kitchen and nearly throwing all the mail onto the table before running back out.

Liam rubbed Louis’ back one more time before going over to the table and straightening the mail out, but as he was doing so a magazine cover caught his eye. “Lou…” he said quietly, wanting the older lad’s attention. “Want me to throw it out?”

Louis could barely nod as he saw the front page cover with Harry plastered all over it. But to make it worse it was one of the many magazines that had pictures of him being drunk, a girl or boy always wrapped around him as they stumbled out of a club or bar. Since the day he left it’s been like that, and Louis doesn’t think he’ll ever get used to it.

“So uhm… What’re you gonna do about Niall?” Liam asked quietly once the magazine was in the trash.

“Nothing,” Louis breathed out, turning back to the stove. “Let’s just hope I never have to see him.”

*~*

Niall quickly looked around the hall, knowing he’s passed the same door at least three times.

He let out an annoyed groan, turning around and back again, trying to figure out which way his classroom was. But just as he started stomping down the hall he heard his phone ringing from his pocket.

“Ello?” Niall asked into it, looking back and forth between the doors, knowing one of these had to be his or at least he was getting close.

“Nialler! What’re you doin mate? Come over before I go back to the studio.”

“Haz I told you I started my job last week,” Niall breathed into the phone.

“Oh, yeah,” Harry said, completely forgetting that. “Am I still coming in to talk to your class or whatever tomorrow?”

“Yeah, if you could, I know you’re busy,” Niall said, still wandering the halls. “If only I could find my classroom that would be great,” he muttered into the phone.

At that Harry let out a barking laugh. “You’ve been there a week and you still don’t know where your classroom is?!”

“Shut up,” Niall grumbled, and just as he was about to tell his best mate off he heard something.

Niall furrowed his eyebrows as he walked to the closest shut classroom door, swearing he heard a familiar voice.

“Ni? You still there?”

Niall felt himself freeze as he would recognize that high pitched voice anywhere, even muffled and coming through a closed door. “U-uhm yeah, yeah I’m here,” he said, shaking his head, trying to clear his thoughts.

It’d be impossible for Louis to be here without Niall seeing him at least once this past week. He was going crazy, there was no way.

“Alright…” Harry said slowly. “Well what time you want me there? Ed and I are pitching our duet idea to management in the morning.”

“Afternoon is fine,” Niall said quietly as he  shuffled away from the door, still unable to figure out if it was Louis he heard or not. “Say around 2 pm? That’ll be the last class of the day.”

Harry checked his calendar one more time to make sure he was free. “Sounds good mate. I gotta get back to the studio so I’ll call you later tonight. Good luck finding your room!!”

Niall pulled the phone away from his ear as he heard Harry hang up. But he was still caught up on that voice. The same voice he was sure he hasn’t heard in nearly 5 years. But then again as Niall thought about it it could’ve been a mistake. He was sure there was no way Louis Tomlinson worked in the same high school as him and he didn’t know it.

*~*

“Alright room 205… Can’t be that hard…” Harry muttered as he slowly walked by each classroom, narrowing his eyes at the small number printed on each door.

Maybe he shouldn’t have made fun of Niall for being lost yesterday because this place was a serious maze. He tried his best though, walking past the main office two times and the second time he did he saw a very frazzled raven haired looking man, screaming about finding some kid he lost. But Harry continued on his way anyway, turning left down one hallway and right down another until he found this room.

He was sure Niall was probably freaking out, wondering where he was and Harry felt bad, he wanted to get to his best mate’s class as soon as possible to talk to them about the music industry but this school was making it impossible.

But just as Harry was about to get really nervous about never finding the classroom his thoughts were taken away by a small cry he heard coming down the hall.

He furrowed his eyebrows, knowing this was a high school and the person crying sounded no older than a toddler. So he quickened his pace, now instead of looking for the room, trying to find where this crying was coming from and why they were crying in the first place.

Harry looked all around the hall and it wasn’t until he saw a boy who was maybe 2 or 3 years old aimlessly wandering around and crying to himself did he relax, knowing where the sobs were coming from.

“Hey, hey, what’s going on? Are you okay?” Harry asked softly as he knelt down to the boys height, unable to miss his tear filled bright green eyes.

“N-no find u-uncle Zayn. L-lost,” he hiccuped out.

Harry nodded, trying to think of what do. He thought maybe the guy in the office was this Zayn person the boy was talking about. “Alright, well do you have somewhere you need to go? Was your uncle taking you somewhere?”

“Daddy teach, I-I go to his room,” he said, wiping his eyes and trying to calm down.

“Okay, well do you know where your daddy’s room is? I can walk you there, it’s okay buddy,” Harry said quietly as he carefully wiped the toddler’s wet cheeks.

He saw the boy nod, and that was definitely a relief to Harry, knowing it wouldn’t be too hard to get this kid where he need to go.

“Alright, I’ll walk you there, lead the way,” he said, only for the boy to wrap his whole hand around Harry’s fingers and tug on him. “You got a name big guy?” Harry asked through a small laugh as he walked beside him.

“Holden,” he sniffled.

“Well it’s nice to meet you Holden, I’m Harry,” he said through a small smile. “How did you lose your uncle Zayn?” Harry asked as they walked down the hall.

“He talking to the office people but I want to go and see daddy so I leave but then he no come and I lose him,” Holden explained quietly. “I love uncle Zayn, I no want to lose him.”

Harry couldn’t help the small laugh that escaped him, this kid really couldn’t be any cuter. “Well when we get to your daddy’s class we can tell him to call uncle Zayn and not to worry so you don’t have to worry.”

Holden looked up at him, offering him a wide smile before he squeezed Harry’s fingers gently. “Thank you Harry!”

“Of course buddy,” Harry said softly as they continued their walk down the hall. “Is your daddy’s room close?”

“Here!” Holden said excitedly, suddenly pulling Harry across the hall.

“Easy big guy,” Harry chuckled to himself as he watched Holden rush over to the door and push it open.

“Daddy!!” Holden shrieked as he ran into the room.

Harry followed after him, keeping his eyes on the toddler until he saw who he was running too. And it was within a millisecond Harry froze. His heart stopped, air coming up short and his throat tightening as green met blue for the first time in years.

“Harry…” Louis barely whispered, his eyes wide and his own body unable to move.

The younger lad’s eyes locked on him as the class looked between the two and started whispering amongst themselves, shocked that Harry Styles was there.

“Daddy you know Harry?” Holden asked with furrowed eyebrows.

Louis looked between his son and Harry, his jaw slack as he didn’t know why Harry had Holden, or why he was here, and just as he was about to say something the younger lad spoke up.

“He’s yours?” Harry asked, undeniable anger seeping from him.

Louis gently pulled Holden behind him, feeling every single pair of eyes looking at him. “Harry you need to go.”

“How old is he Louis?” Harry nearly spat through his teeth, taking a step closer into the room.

“Harry,” Louis warned, unable to grasp that he was in front of him, that he and Holden were in the same room, that the same man who has caused him so much pain was back. “Why are you here?”

Harry shook his head as he rubbed a hand over his face, just at seeing the older lad and with a child no less feeling his heart break over and over again like it had all those years ago. “I don’t owe you anything Louis,” he said so quietly he wasn’t sure if he was heard. “How long was it then? How long was it after you broke my heart that you went off and had a kid?!”

Louis felt his face harden, completely ignoring the wide eyed stares his students were giving him. “Harry get out, now,” he said lowly. “I’m not doing this here.”

Harry scoffed, putting his hands up in defeat as he backed away. “Say hi to fucking Liam for me,” he muttered, before pulling the door open and slamming it shut behind him.

Louis swallowed thickly and couldn’t move as he felt Holden’s arms wrap tightly around his leg, hiding behind him and every single pair of his student’s eyes on him. For the first time in years he’s seen Harry, since he left him, leaving a tornado behind him, and he came right back into Louis’ life the same way.

*~*

“Niall!!” Harry screamed at the top of his lungs as he barged into the Irish lad’s flat.

“Geez, what H?” Niall asked, trying to restart his heart at the sudden burst. “And hey, thanks for totally ditching my class today. Like seriously mate you could’ve-”

“Why the fuck didn’t you tell me Louis works at your school?!” Harry asked, his whole body feeling like it was shaking with anger.

Niall furrowed his eyebrows at the younger lad. “What?” he asked confused.

“I saw Louis fucking Tomlinson at the school today!!” Harry said, making Niall’s eyes go wide. “And he has a kid!! A kid who is like fucking 3 or 4 years old!! Do you know what that means?!”

“Haz… Mate I’m so sorry,” Niall said quietly.

Harry let out a few deep breaths, trying to calm down so he wouldn’t keep screaming. “Do you think that’s it? Do you think Liam knocked him up and that’s why all this shit happened?”

“Harry I don’t know,” Niall breathed out as he watched his best mate pace in front of him. “I mean you never really gave him a chance to explain what happened, you don’t know-”

“He didn’t deserve a chance Niall!!” Harry yelled, making the Irish lad jump in his seat. “I can’t do this, I need to go,” he said shaking his head and walking towards the door.

“Where are you going?” Niall asked as he stood up from the couch and fast walked after Harry.

“I’m going out to get a drink, I’ll talk to you later,” Harry muttered, but as he opened the door Niall quickly closed it.

“H please, you don’t need to drink just stay here alright?” Niall asked softly. “We can just hang out and eat junk and play videogames, like the old days.”

Harry shook his head, wanting nothing more than to get so drunk he forgot any of this happened.

“Harry please,” Niall nearly begged.

“See you later,” Harry said quietly, opening the door and stepping out of the flat before Niall could stop him.

_Meanwhile with Louis_

“Daddy?” Holden asked quietly as his father tucked him in bed.

“What big guy?”

Holden let out a quiet breath, tugging on his daddy’s shirt, wanting him to lay down with him. And it was only when his father obliged and he laid himself onto his chest did he speak up.

“Why you so sad today?” he asked, brushing his fingers through his daddy’s hair, knowing that when he does it to him he feels better.

Louis bit his lip as he looked down at his son. The same green eyes, the same chocolate brown hair that reminded him so much of Harry. “What makes you think I’m sad?”

“I hear you talk to uncle Liam when we get home today,” Holden said as he rested his chin on his daddy’s chest and looked up at him. “I hear you sniffle and I sniffle when I cry but I no want you to cry daddy.”

Louis felt his heart break as he saw tears gathering in the 3 year old’s eyes. He quickly wrapped his arms around him and kissed his feathery hair, never wanting him to feel bad for him being upset. “How in the world can I be sad when I have you?” he asked in between kisses.

At that and because off all the kisses Holden smiled to himself and wrapped his arms around his daddy’s neck. “Daddy how do you know Harry?” he asked with furrowed eyebrows, hearing his uncle and father talk about him earlier.

Louis stilled for a moment, knowing that Holden would probably bring him up at some point after today. “Well once upon a time he and I were very good friends,” he said quietly, wrapping his arms just a bit tighter around the toddler.

Holden looked at his daddy confused, them not seeming like friends earlier. “How come you no friends anymore?”

“Well… One day we got in a fight,” Louis said quietly, swallowing thickly at the memory. “And he uhm… Well some mean things were said and he decided he didn’t want to be daddy’s friend anymore.”

Holden’s face fell as he listened to his daddy, unable to imagine anyone being mean to him, he was the nicest and funniest person in the whole world. “I sorry daddy,” he whispered, resting his little hand on his father’s stubbled cheek.

“You have nothing to be sorry for,” Louis said as he shook his head and rubbed his son’s back. “Just know that with you there’s no way I can ever be sad,” he said, giving Holden a sloppy kiss on the cheek and making him giggle.

“I love you daddy,” Holden said through a soft smile, kissing his daddy quickly before laying back down on his chest and closing his eyes.

“And I love you buddy,” Louis said quietly, placing one more kiss on top of his son’s head before closing his own eyes.

If there was one good thing Louis got from his and Harry’s relationship it would be his son. And Louis wouldn’t trade him for the world.

*~*

Louis brushed his fingers through his hair, his eyes scanning over the paper in his hands as his son hummed to himself from his place in one of the student desks.

Because Louis seemed upset the night before Holden made it very clear he was going to work with his daddy and going to keep him happy all day, so here he was coloring while his father went over his students’ first written assignment during his free period. But just as Louis circled the grade at the top of the paper he heard a knock at the door.

“I got it!!” Holden said, immediately jumping out of his desk and running towards the door.

“U-uhm hello is uh, is Louis Tomlinson here?”

Louis perked his head up, recognizing that Irish voice anywhere before rushing towards the door and gently pulling Holden behind him. “Niall…” he breathed out, this being the first time he’s come face to face with the blonde lad in years.

“Hey Lou, uhm Louis,” Niall corrected himself as he shook his head. “Could we possibly talk?” he asked as he scratched the back of his head.

Louis looked down at Holden, seeing him hide behind his legs before looking back up at Niall. “W-well uhm my son is here, is it gonna be like appropriate?” he asked, not wanting to have a scene like he did yesterday with Harry.

“Yeah, yeah of course,” Niall nodded as he glanced down at the toddler and offered him a small smile.

Louis bit his lip and looked at the younger lad for a second before scooping Holden up and leading Niall inside his classroom. “Buddy can you just sit and color while I talk to Niall?”

“Will he make you sad daddy?” Holden whispered, noticing his father’s mood change before eyeing the other man.

“No, it’s okay big guy,” Louis said through a small laugh before settling Holden in his desk and kissing his head then turning back to Niall. “So uh, what’s up?”

Niall shifted his weight on his feet and shrugged. “Just uh… How are you?” he asked quietly. “I mean I haven’t seen you since...”

“Yeah, yeah I know,” Louis shook his head and cleared his throat.

Niall looked at the older lad for a minute, not quite sure what to say. “You know I uh, I never thought you cheated on him,” he said, just loud enough for Louis to hear him.

Louis nodded as he bit his lip, and that’s when he saw Niall look over to Holden. But when Niall looked back at him it was almost impossible for Louis to miss the younger lad’s eyes welling with tears.

“Has green eyes huh?” Niall asked through a shaky breath. “He just… He looks like…”

Louis knew what he was hinting at, what he was piecing together but Louis couldn’t find it in himself to just say it. But based off of how Niall was looking at Holden the Irish lad knew. Louis was sure Harry and Niall already knew about Holden though, he didn’t understand why the younger lad seemed like he had no idea Holden was even alive.

“Niall…” Louis said quietly, not even sure what he wanted to say.

Niall shook his head as he sniffled and tried to gather himself. “Louis I’m not gonna lie I’ve missed you… And Harry he… He hasn’t been the same since you guys broke up.”

“I don’t want to hear any excuses Niall,” Louis said firmly. “Harry left, he chose to leave me before I even had a chance to explain.”

“I know, I know,” Niall breathed out. “I just… I’ve missed my two best mates these last couple years.”

Louis looked down to his shoes before glancing over at Holden, the toddler completely lost in his own little world as the school bell rung overhead. “Well uhm, let’s change that then,” he said quietly. “If you have this time free everyday then sometime we can go for lunch, like old times and actually have time to talk.”

Niall bit his lip as he smiled to himself and nodded at the older lad. “Yeah, it’d be good to catch up.”

“Well, good then,” Louis said, offering him a small grin back as students began shuffling into his room. “I’ll uh, I’ll see you later.”

“Right, right, see you later,” Niall said quickly as he nodded to himself again. “Uhm, bye Holden, it was nice meeting you,” he said, waving to the 3 year old.

“Bye bye!” Holden waved back happily.

Niall smiled back at him before glancing to Louis one more time and making his way out of the classroom.

*~*

“What was so urgent? I was about to go out,” Harry huffed as he walked into his best mate’s flat.

“Calm down princess, sit down,” Niall mumbled as he rolled his eyes and put his take out dinner down.

Harry let out a deep breath as he walked over to the couch and took a seat next to the older lad. “What’s up? Why did I need to get here so fast?”

“I just… I need to talk to you,” Niall said quietly as he scratched the back of his neck, knowing he had to do this delicately. “About uhm, about Louis.”

Harry rubbed a hand over his face, really not wanting to deal or talk about this but he already came all the way over here. “What about him?” he breathed out.

“W-well maybe not Louis but uh his son…” Niall said cautiously. “Like, you said that you saw him yesterday, you know what he looks like.”

“Yeah… And?” Harry asked, having no clue why Niall was talking about this.

“You know, green eyes, chocolate brown hair…” Niall said slowly, hoping Harry would get the subtle hint. “He’s 3, so you and him were still together.”

“And we both know he cheated on me, so why the fuck are we talking about this?” Harry asked annoyed.

Niall shook his head as he wasn’t sure if he should just come out and say it. He didn’t know if Louis wanted Harry to know, but Harry was his best mate, he deserved to know. “H I talked to Louis today at the school… He never cheated on you, I know that for a fact.”

Harry looked at the older lad for a moment, not knowing what Niall was trying to imply. “What’re you saying?” he asked quietly. “Niall he cheated on me, I caught them-”

“Caught them what, hugging? Whispering?” Niall asked with raised eyebrows. “You never let him explain, you don’t actually know what happened.”

“I didn’t want to listen to it Niall,” Harry said through gritted teeth.

“Harry,” Niall said firmly, wanting the younger lad to look at him. “Louis never cheated on you.”

Harry shook his head as he bit his lip and looked to his hands in his lap. “Why are you telling me this?” he barely whispered.

“Because he has a son,” Niall said as he looked at Harry with raised eyebrows. “A son who is 3 years old and has green eyes and hair the same color as yours.”

Harry sat there still for a moment before biting his lip and shaking his head. “No,” he said quietly, pushing himself off the couch and began pacing in the small living room. “No, no, that’s impossible,” Harry whispered into his hands.

“Harry…” Niall said softly, knowing this would be beyond hard. “Remember you said Lou kept getting sick and all that hormonal stuff, and maybe that’s what they were whispering about… Maybe he didn’t know how to tell you.”

Harry rubbed his hands over his face, his thoughts going one way and then another as he walked back and forth in the living room. “Where does he live?” he asked quietly. “Louis, do you know where he lives?”

“What? No, why?” Niall asked with furrowed eyebrows.

“Because I need to hear him say to my face that I’m not a father, that I haven’t fucked up so bad where I missed my own kid’s entire life and didn’t know about it,” Harry said through a shaky breath, trying to convince himself this was all one big mistake. That Niall was wrong and Louis cheated on him and Harry wasn’t a dad.

Niall bit his lip as he saw his best mate about to lose it before he pulling out his phone and loading Whitepages, trying to look up where Louis lived. And it took some digging, Harry getting more and more anxious by the second but when Niall read off the adress the younger lad didn’t waste a second before rushing out of the flat, getting in his car and driving through the dark city until he reached the house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sure you guys have some questions but I'm sure they'll all be answered in the next update. Still feel free to ask and I'll try my best to answer without giving too much away !! Leave comments, give kudos if you haven't, thanks !! And I think I may post a sneak peek of the next update on my [tumblr](http://lhstylinson9193.tumblr.com/). I did that with my last story and if you guys would like that just comment ! Thank you again !! Xx


	4. Chapter 4

As Harry drove through the dark streets his thoughts were going a mile and minute and refused to stop. His foot heavy on the brake and hands gripping the steering wheel as he took a sharp turn onto the street Louis lived on, needing to find this house.

And Harry didn’t care what time it was or what the older lad was doing as he screeched into a driveway of the small brick house he thought to be Louis’. He stomped up to the driveway, his heart pounding so loud he could hear it in his ears and his breathing heavy as he got to the door and knocked with a closed fist.

He knocked again and again, rang the doorbell and continued his knocking until the door abruptly swung open.

Harry felt himself swallow thickly as he saw Louis pulling a t-shirt over his head and the older lad’s hair all tousled, his glasses resting on the bridge of his nose.

“Harry what the fuck are you doing?” Louis asked through gritted teeth.

Harry opened and closed his mouth, wanting to say something but for some reason nothing would come out. It hit him that in a second he could find out he was a father, and just at that thought he felt like he had just been smacked with a sack full of bricks.

“Harry,” Louis said, getting more and more annoyed by the second. “What are you doing here?” he asked, more than ready to slam the door in the younger lad’s face if he didn’t answer.

“I n-need uhm… I need to talk to you,” Harry managed to say just loud enough for Louis to hear him.

Louis looked at him in disbelief, having no motivation or energy for whatever it was Harry was going to say. But he figured that with it being so late, and Harry looking like he was a second away from crying something must be going on. And if it had something to do with maybe what Louis and Niall talked about earlier then he had an idea as to why the younger lad was here.

“About what?” Louis asked, crossing his arms over his chest and raising his eyebrows at him.

Harry shuffled on his feet as he was about to say something, but a little voice stopped him.

“D-daddy?”

Louis quickly turned around and saw Holden clutching his blanket as he hesitantly walked towards the door. He let out a quiet breath before glancing back at Harry, sending him a cold glare before walking over to his son.

“Daddy I-I hear big noises and I go to you room but y-you not in bed,” Holden said as he sniffled to himself and raised his arms above his head, wanting to be picked up.

“I’m sorry you woke up buddy but it’s okay,” Louis said softly as he rested the 3 year old on his hip and kissed his head. “C’mon let’s get you back to bed.”

Holden nodded as he wrapped his arms around his daddy’s neck and rested his head on his shoulder, already drifting back to sleep.

Louis looked back to Harry, him looking at him nervously as he stayed outside. “Sit on the couch, I’ll be back in a second,” he said quietly before making his way towards the stairs.

Harry nodded as he bit his lip and took a cautious step into the house, closing the door quietly behind him. He watched as Louis carried the toddler up the stairs and once he couldn’t see him anymore Harry walked into the small living room, stepping over toys and making his way towards the couch. And just as Harry was about to take a seat on the couch a high pitched meow made him abruptly stand back up.

He let out a deep breath, clutching his chest and checking if his heart was still beating before taking a seat beside the grey and white fluffy cat.

Harry began petting it, the cat immediately purring under his touch and stretching out. “Louis never liked cats, how’d he end up with you?” he whispered, scratching between the animal’s ears.

“I was walking down the street with a certain little boy and he saw him in a box, and just had to have him,” Louis said as he shuffled down the stairs and made his way towards the couch. “C’mon Rob, off,” he said, shooing the cat away and taking it’s spot on the couch.

“Rob?” Harry asked with furrowed eyebrows.

“Yeah…” Louis said slowly as he rubbed his hands over his face, trying to wake up. “Holden named him after his favorite poet, Robert Frost.”

Harry opened his mouth, a bit taken back by that as Holden was only 3.

“What do you want Harry?” Louis asked tiredly. “And what I’m really asking is why the fuck were you banging on my door at midnight?” he asked annoyed. “I mean seriously try to be fucking courteous. This couldn’t wait for any other time? Or no time since I don’t really wanna see or talk to you.”

Harry bit his lip as he looked down to his hands, trying to ignore the way the older lad was glaring at him. “I’m uhm, I’m really sorry… It’s just I uh, I talked to Niall and he said you guys talked today,” he said quietly, refusing to pick his head up, feeling his throat getting tighter and tighter.

“Okay, and so what if we did?” Louis asked, a second away from kicking the younger lad out if he just didn’t say what he came here so late for.

“W-well he said some stuff… About Holden,” Harry barely whispered, already feeling his eyes sting with tears. “Lou…” he breathed out, shaking his head and squeezing his eyes shut, trying not to cry. “T-tell me…”

Louis couldn’t move as he looked at the younger lad, feeling his breathing up come short at what Harry was asking him.

“H-he’s mine, isn’t he…?” Harry choked out as tears began running down his cheeks, feeling like he already knew the answer.

Louis bit his lip as he rested his elbows on his knees and looked to the ground, the room very suddenly feeling heavy. “...Yes.”

Harry’s breath hitched in his throat, his eyes pooling with even more tears as his chest began to heave. “O-oh my God…” he cried into his hands.

Louis just watched as Harry began to cry harder and harder, began to shake and rock from his place on the couch. He wasn’t going to comfort him. The younger lad deserved the pain, the hurt that he himself has been dealing for years after Harry left. And even when Harry was mumbling nonsense to himself, pacing the living room, asking how he could be so stupid, said he had never fucked up so badly before Louis just watched him. But one thing the younger lad mumbled caught his ear.

“What did you say?” Louis asked with furrowed eyebrows.

Harry sniffled to himself and wiped his wet cheeks, it doing no good as more tears escaped him. “W-when can I see him? L-like actually get to know him?”

“Harry I don’t really want you near him,” Louis said honestly, making the younger lad’s eyes go wide.

“And why not?” Harry said, a touch of anger in his voice as he stopped in his tracks and squared his eyes at Louis. “I deserve-”

“Harry you don’t deserve shit,” Louis said through gritted teeth, not believing that the green eyed lad had actually said that. “You left him, left us, and I want you to leave now,” he said, pushing himself off the couch. “You did it once, I’m sure it won’t be too hard to do it again.”

Harry stood there motionless, even with it obvious how angry Louis was getting with him he wasn’t going to leave. “Louis he’s my son too. You can’t keep him from me.”

“I sure as hell can try,” Louis said as he narrowed his eyes at the younger lad, his hands forming into fists at his side.

“Why are you doing this?” Harry barely whispered, himself growing angrier and angrier by the second. “Do you know how easy it would be for me to take this court? To get custody and-”

Harry’s words got caught in his throat as Louis brought his hand up, the ringing slap echoing in the room.

“I fucking dare you,” Louis spat through his teeth, his eyes locked on the younger lad as he cupped his cheek. “I’d love to tell the court all about some alcoholic popstar who sleeps with anything with legs and hasn’t even met his own son.”

Harry just stood there as Louis dug his eyes into him like daggers. The older lad seething and refusing to move as Harry still felt the sharp pain on his cheek.

“I told you once and I’m not telling you again, leave,” Louis said, straining not to yell as Harry wouldn’t move. And when he still just stared at him with wide eyes Louis felt himself losing it. “Harry leave my fucking house!!” he yelled.

Harry jumped where he stood, seeing Louis breathing deeply and looking like he was about to hit him again. So Harry slowly backed away, keeping his eyes on the older lad until he hit the door. “I’m not giving up Louis…” he barely whispered.

Louis kept his eyes on Harry, following him to make sure he was really out of the house. “Well I gave up on you years ago. Don’t come back.”

And with that Louis slammed the door in his face and made a point to lock it.

Harry felt like he wasn’t breathing as he walked to his car, his feet just barely able to move. He couldn’t believe this was happening. That he had a son, that Louis wouldn’t let him see him and that yet again he was leaving the older lad. But this time he wasn’t leaving for good, he wasn’t giving up. No matter how mad Louis was, no matter what Harry had to do he was going to see his son.

*~*

Niall poked his head into his best mate's flat, tired of knocking and getting no response, even though he knows for a fact the younger lad is there. "Haz?" he called out, already heading towards the master bedroom. "H you in here?"

And just as Niall pushed the bedroom door open he was met with his sleeping best mate sprawled out on the bed. But what really caught the Irish lad's eye were the empty bottles of Vodka and Whiskey on the bedside table.

Niall bit his lip as he walked towards Harry, hating that this wasn't the first time he's come to his best mate's flat and seen him like this. "Harry... Harry wake up," he said, shaking the younger lad's shoulder gently.

Harry let out low groan, slowly rolling on his side and away from Niall.

"Haz seriously get up," Niall said annoyed, walking over to the widows and opening the blinds. "Ed called me and told me you missed a meeting with your management this morning. They're not happy, Ed is pissed you stood him up and-"

"Niall," Harry said, it coming out muffled as he shoved his face in his pillow. "I seriously couldn't care less about any of that."

Niall opened his mouth to say something but immediately stopped as he remembered last night. "You talked to him, didn't you?" he asked quietly, taking a seat on the bed.

Harry could barely nod, already feeling those too familiar tears returning to his eyes. "H-he's mine Niall," he whispered. "I-I have a son and I left them, I-I just left," Harry said, not even trying to stop the quiet sob that escaped him.

"You didn't know H, it's not like Louis ever told you," Niall said as he reached for the younger lad and pulled him into his chest.

"I should've n-never left him," Harry hiccuped out. "I loved him so fucking much, I-I'm so stupid... A-and now I can't even see Holden a-and Louis hates me. H-he has the right to I-"

"Wait, what?" Niall stopped him. "Why won't he let you see him?"

"Cause I'm fucked up Niall," Harry said, not even needing to think hard about the answer. "I'm fucked up and I fucked up all those years ago, that's it. I don't blame him... If I were in his spot I wouldn't let Holden see me either."

"Harry you just..." Niall trailed off quietly, needing to be delicate about this. "These past couple years you made some mistakes... And I know it was your own way of trying to forget Louis, trying to get over what happened, but the way you chose to get over it..."

Harry let out a quiet breath as he swallowed thickly and leaned back against his headboard. "I know," he barely whispered, rubbing his hands over his face and trying to get over his pounding headache. "And I know I have to change, I need to so Louis will at least consider letting me see him."

Niall nodded as he got off the bed, and motioned for Harry to follow him, needing to get some food in his system. "There's just one thing kind of bugging me about this whole thing though."

"What?" Harry asked as he shuffled after the Irish lad and followed him into the kitchen.

"Why Louis never told you..." Niall said as he scanned through the fridge. "Like, after that party he never tried to contact you or anything."

"I always figured it was cause he was with Liam," Harry said quietly as he took a seat at the breakfast bar.

"But he never was, so why didn't he try to tell you?" Niall asked, pulling out eggs and some bacon.

Harry sat there for a second and thought about it. Last night when he went to see the older lad he was too terrified about finding out he had a son to even question that. "I'm going over there again today... We just need to talk, clear some things up," he said as he let out a deep breath, trying not to get furious because last night his anger was fueling him and that what led to him getting hit.

"Well eat and take a shower before you go," Niall said as he kept his eyes on the cooking food. "I don't think Louis will appreciate you showing up at his doorstep and smelling like a bar."

Harry bit the inside of his cheek as he nodded to himself. "He probably won't even let me through the door, especially if Holden's there. After last night I'm sure he doesn't want to see me at all."

"Just tell him you want to talk to him. Ya know, get some answers and Holden doesn't have to be in the room, just don't have a screaming match with him," Niall said as he shrugged and flipped the bacon.

“But what if he won’t even talk to me?” Harry asked nervously. “Like what am I supposed to do if he never lets me see Holden?” he asked, feeling more tears prickle in his eyes.

“Haz there has to be some legal thing that lets you see him at least,” Niall said as he shook his head.

“That’s what I said last night but then I got slapped,” Harry muttered.

“What?” Niall asked with furrowed eyebrows as he offered a plate of food to the younger lad. “Louis slapped you? Louis Tomlinson?” and when Harry nodded Niall didn’t believe it. “You must’ve said something fucked up if Louis hit you mate.”

Harry let out a quiet breath as he shrugged and picked up a fork. “Well I did say something fucked so he had the right to hit me… I mean I also showed up banging on his doorstep at midnight, woke Holden up and I was just being an arse.”

“What’d you say that made him hit you?” Niall asked quietly as he got his own plate together.

Harry swallowed his food, refusing to meet his best mate’s eyes as he thought back to the night before and how stupid he had been. “I uhm… I said I’d take him to court for custody… Basically threatened to take Holden away from him.”

Niall almost wanted to hit Harry for saying that, he completely understood why Louis did. “Alright… So if he does actually talk to you you better apologize profusely just for that… Never mind everything else you did,” he muttered the last part.

“Thanks Niall,” Harry said as he rolled his eyes. “I seriously don’t think anyone has fucked up more than me… Like ever,” he groaned into his hands.

Niall let out a quiet breath as he shrugged before taking a bite of his own food. “I dunno mate, the best thing you can do is apologize to Louis, really mean it, and stick around. Show him you’re not going anywhere and that you really want to be a part of Holden’s life,” he said softly.

Harry nodded as he continued eating his food. He already knew that and he was going to do everything in his power and didn’t care how long it would take Louis to forgive him. He already lost the two most important people in his life by accident once, he wasn’t going to screw this up and lose them again.

*~*

Harry let out a deep breath as he walked towards the brick house, running his fingers through his still wet curls before knocking gently on the door.

His heart was pounding in his ears and his palms were sweaty as he waited at the door, and was more than ready for Louis to slam the door in his face. But Harry was willing to just sit there and wait for however long it took for the older lad to talk to him. That’s all he wanted, was to talk.

And when the door swung open Harry looked up from his shoes, expecting to see Louis, but his face immediately fell as he saw those familiar brown eyes. “Oh shit,” he muttered, rubbing a hand over his face.

“What do you want Harry?” Liam asked as he crossed his arms over his chest.

“You don’t live here do you?” Harry asked with furrowed eyebrows. “Like you and Louis don’t-”

“What do you want Harry?” Liam asked again, this time sending a hard glare to the younger lad.

“I just uh…” Harry trailed off, scratching the back of his neck. “Is uhm, is Louis here?”

“Yes,” Liam said simply, refusing to take his eyes off Harry.

Harry swallowed thickly, the older lad’s eyes digging into him. “W-well can I uh talk to him? That’s it… I just want to talk.”

“After the shit you pulled last night why should I let you anywhere near him?” Liam asked angrily.

“I know, I know,” Harry breathed out, still feeling awful about what he said last night. “But please I just need answers, I need to clear some things up,” he nearly begged.

Liam opened his mouth to protest but stopped himself as he felt a hand on his shoulder.

“Holden’s in the playroom, can you go up there with him?” Louis asked Liam quietly, his eyes trained on Harry.

Liam looked back to Harry sending him one more hard glare before letting out a deep breath and shuffling back inside the house.

Harry bit his lip as he shifted his weight on his feet and looked to Louis, the older lad’s eyes red like he had been crying and bags under them as if he hadn’t slept either. “Can we uhm, can we talk?”

“You asked me the same thing last night and you know how well that turned out,” Louis muttered as he ran his fingers through his hair.

“Louis I’m.... I’m so so sorry for last night,” Harry said quietly as he shook his head. “I was terrified and furious at myself, I didn’t mean any of what I said.”

Louis nodded as he crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against the doorframe. “Is that all you wanted then? To apologize? Cause if it is I think we’re done here,” he said, already reaching for the door.

“No, no!” Harry rushed out. “I need to ask you something, it’s important, please,” he said with pleading eyes.

Louis looked at him for a moment, arguing with himself if he should let the younger lad in or not. But by the way Harry was looking back at him he knew this was serious. Even after all these years he could remember every single one of the younger lad’s facial expressions and what they meant.

“Come in,” he said quietly, moving aside to allow Harry to step through the door.

Harry let out a grateful breath as he entered the home, now actually able to get a small glimpse of it with it not being the middle of the night and dark.

“What is it?” Louis asked, leading Harry to the couch and taking a seat.

“Well first I just wanted to say how sorry I am for last night. That was… It was really awful of me to threaten you like that,” Harry said quietly as he bit his lip looked to his hands. “I was just so mad when you said I couldn’t see him, I-”

“What did you expect Harry?” Louis asked as he narrowed his eyes at the younger lad. “You think you can just come in here and demand to see him after you left us?”

“No, I know but-”

“No Harry, you don’t know,” Louis said angrily, trying to keep his voice down and not scream. “You left me with a baby and a broken heart…” he said, feeling those all too familiar tears returning. The same tears that have been coming for years, ever since Harry left they’ve been there and Louis wasn’t sure if they’d ever go away. “You tossed me on the side of the road like a piece of shit a-and then you think you can just come back here like nothing happened?”

Harry shook his head quickly, feeling his own throat tightening at the sight of the older lad. “Louis I thought you were cheating on me with Liam, I wasn’t thinking.”

“It’s not that you weren’t thinking Harry, you didn’t talk to me about it,” Louis said as he sniffled to himself, trying to calm down.

He never thought he would be sitting here with Harry, having this conversation. Louis never thought he would see the younger lad in the flesh again, but just at the sight of him all the wounds Harry left before he broke up with him felt like they were all being cut open again.

“Well you didn’t talk to me either,” Harry said quietly. “All you did was go behind my back with Liam.”

“Because I knew Liam would be there for me, that he would support me,” Louis said, feeling himself getting a bit worked up.

“I would have been there… I would have supported yo-”

“No you wouldn’t have!” Louis said, suddenly pushing himself off the couch and pacing the living room. “As soon as you suspected anything you were gone, you just left!! Liam was the one who took care of me after I found out!! He was the one in the delivery room with me, not you!! He is the only person I can fully trust because he’s always been there, don’t even try to turn this on me just because I was confiding in my best mate!!” Louis yelled.

“Louis if I had known I would have been there!” Harry said, trying not to raise his voice. “If you had told me I wouldn’t have gone on tour! I wouldn’t have thought anything of you and Liam and I would’ve been there for you! I would’ve been there for Holden!” he said, himself getting off the couch and looking to the older lad.

“Harry I did tell you!!!” Louis screamed at the top of his lungs, feeling more and more tears sting his eyes, threatening to spill. “I spent an entire month trying to reach out to you!! I called you, texted you and emailed you and I got nothing in return!!” he said, all that hurt he felt 4 years ago coming back to him. How terrified he was, how heartbroken he was after Harry left him.

Harry felt himself still as heard the older lad, so Louis had tried to reach him, to tell him. “Louis I never got anything from you…” he barely whispered. “I thought you went off with Liam, I thought you were done with me…”

Louis stopped in his tracks, feeling his breathing stop as he looked to Harry. “No, that’s impossible… You’re lying.”

“Louis I’m not,” Harry said, his breath getting caught in his throat at the thought of the older lad trying to reach him, to tell him. “I never got a single thing from you.”

Louis shook his head as his hands clenched into fists at his side. “No, no!! I called you, I texted you, you’re lying!!” he yelled. “Y-you’re just saying that to cover up for the fact that you didn’t want him or me!! you-”

“Louis I’m not!!” Harry said again, this time raising his own voice. “If I had known I would’ve come running back, no sprinting just to be with you!!”

“How is that possible?” Louis asked, his voice sharp. “How could you just not get anything I sent you?”

Harry opened and closed his mouth as he shook his head, trying to think back all those years ago. But then he remembered. Harry almost wanted to hit something or throw something as he remembered the tour, the growing fame, the increasing security.

“They changed my number,” he barely whispered. “The day of the party, the same day we got in the fight, they changed my cellphone number for security reasons.”

Louis felt his breathing stop as he looked to the younger lad, feeling his tears slip onto his cheeks. He could feel his body shake as he hid his face in his hands, quiet sobs escaping him at the thought that Harry actually never knew about Holden. That he wasn’t intentionally not present in their lives, but because he didn’t know about the life he had to be present for.

“W-what about the emails?” Louis stuttered out. “I-I send you emails a-all the time… Pictures of him growing up…”

Harry shook his head again, never getting an email or thinking that he ever even had Louis’ email.

“No, now I know you’re lying,” Louis said as he wiped his wet cheeks and squared his eyes at the younger lad.

“Louis I’m not lying to you…” Harry said softly as he took a careful step towards Louis.

“Stop!” Louis said suddenly, backing away from him. “Liam gave me your email, it’s impossible for you not to get them!!”

“How the hell would Liam get my email?” Harry asked, none of this making sense.

Louis began pacing again, all of his coming at him too fast. Harry must’ve known about Holden, he was lying to him. “H-he went to your record label and found Matt a-and Matt gave him your email.”

Harry looked at the older lad for a second, his heart dropping into his stomach as he heard that. “Louis that’s not possible…” he said quietly.

“Y-yes it is! Liam told me, he gave me your email!!” Louis said raising his voice again.

“Louis no,” Harry said firmly. “Matt went to a different record label the day after that party, he didn’t work with us anymore, he couldn’t get my email.”

Louis shook his head fast and hard still not believing him. Liam wouldn’t lie to him. He wouldn’t intentionally make it so Harry wouldn’t know about Holden, he wouldn’t do that.

As Louis looked like he was a second away from crying again Harry was ready to hit someone, a certain someone. If Liam had actually gotten his email Harry would’ve been there. He would’ve dropped everything, the tour, the meetings, the interviews whatever he had to do to take care of his family.

“Liam!!” Harry screamed, about ready to lose it.

“You’re lying,” Louis cried into his hands, shaking his head again.

Harry felt his breathing become ragged as he saw Liam come down the stairs, immediately heading towards Louis as he saw him crying but Harry stopped him. “You fucking son of a bitch tell him!!” he yelled getting in front of the older lad and squaring his eyes at him. “Tell him what you fucking did!!”

Liam narrowed his eyes right back at Harry before looking over the younger lad’s shoulder to Louis. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Harry was done, completely enraged as he looked at the man in front of him before bringing up his fist and hitting him square in the jaw.

“Harry!!” Louis yelled, about to shove past him to get to Liam before Harry stopped him.

“The fucking emails you prick, tell him!!” Harry screamed over Liam as he laid on the ground, clutching his jaw. “Tell him how you lied to him!! How you made it so for the past 4 years I never knew I had a son and you let him believe I knew!!”

Liam swallowed thickly as he looked at Harry but then focused his attention to his best mate. “Lou… He was just going to hurt you again, I couldn’t-” he stopped himself, flinching as Harry bent down to punch him again but Louis stopped him, forcefully pulling the curly haired lad behind him. “I-I couldn’t let him hurt you again and then Holden,” Liam barely whispered.

Louis felt himself still as he took in Liam’s words. His throat closing and eyes pooling with more tears as he watched his best mate slowly get up from the ground. “Y-you lied to me?” he asked so quietly he wasn’t sure if Liam heard him or not. “H-how- I mean… Wh-why would you do that?!” Louis yelled, already feeling tears on his cheeks.

“Louis he left you,” Liam said firmly, eyeing Harry.

“And if I had known, if you had actually gotten my email address I would’ve came right back,” Harry said through gritted teeth. “If he told me what was going on I would’ve been here for him, for Holden and you fucked that up.”

“Don’t turn this on me Harry, this was all you,” Liam said as he narrowed his eyes at the younger lad. “You didn’t let him explain, you jumped to conclusions and you were the one who left.”

Harry had to hold himself back not to hit him again. He could already see Louis getting more and more upset by the second and he couldn’t keep hurting him. “You are such a fucking prick you knew how I felt about how close you and Louis were when we were dating,” he nearly spat through his teeth. “I know Niall talked to you, asked you to calm it down with him and instead you just continued to shove your relationship in my face, you knew the whole time.”

“...L-Liam?” Louis hiccupped out as he furrowed his eyebrows at his best mate. “You never said anything… You… Y-you-”

“Louis I’m sorry,” Liam said softly, and just as he was about to walk towards the older lad Louis broke down.

Louis couldn’t take it anymore as he took a seat on the couch and just sobbed into his hands. Harry never knew about Holden, and he would’ve come back for them if he did know. Liam, the only person he thought he could 100% trust has been lying to him for years, feeding him false information and lighting his hate for Harry by making him think that he knew about Holden. If Liam had given him Harry’s real email, if he hadn’t given him some fake one Harry would've been there. He couldn’t do this, it was too much.

“C-can you please go?” Louis barely whispered, trying his best to calm down.

Liam looked over to Harry with raised eyebrows but when Louis said a barely audible “Liam” he abruptly turned to his best mate. “You’re letting him stay? Are you kidding me?”

Louis sniffled again, squeezing his eyes shut so no more tears would escape him as he hid his face in his hands.

So Harry took matters into his own hands. He took a step closer to Liam, not so subtly nodding towards the door, silently telling him to leave. And it felt like all those years ago. The looks Harry would send Liam, the way the older lad would scowl and scoff as he pushed past him and made his way towards the door, closing it forcefully behind him. It was that all over again as Liam left the two.

Harry made sure Liam was out the door before quietly shuffling over to the couch, taking a cautious seat on the couch as Louis sat there motionless, his face hidden in his hands. He brought up a careful hand, placing it on the older lad’s back to help him calm down but it was immediate Louis flinched and shoved his arm away.

And Harry got it, he understood as he pulled his hand back and just looked at the older lad, knowing he didn’t trust him, probably still didn't want to be near him at all. So he didn’t say anything. Instead Harry pushed himself off the couch and looked around for a moment, trying to find the kitchen. And once he found it he set right to work on making tea.

Finding everything he needed was just a little difficult, but Harry remembered Louis always putting his tea too high to reach. He remembered the older lad standing on his toes, or getting a chair, but if Harry was home Louis would always have him get it.

Harry remembered the way Louis would always wrap his arms around him as he reached up for the box, how he would press gentle kisses into his back and once he actually had his tea would pull Harry right into his chest and press their lips together.

But he quickly shook his head, those only being memories. They were memories and moments he was never going to get back because of how badly he had screwed up.

So instead of getting caught in the past Harry finished making the tea and carefully carried it into the living room before passing it to Louis who seemed like he hadn’t moved an inch from his spot.

“Here,” Harry said softly, taking a seat on the couch and passing the mug to the older lad.

Louis slowly picked his head up, his eyes still stinging from how much he was crying as he took the mug from Harry. “Thanks,” he said quietly before taking a sip, almost immediately feeling his tears come back as he did so. “You remembered how to make it,” Louis barely whispered.

“Well after the amount of times you forced me to make it of course I would remember,” Harry said through a small laugh.

Louis swallowed thickly as he nodded, keeping his eyes locked on the hot liquid in his hands. “I really uhm… I need to think over a couple of things,” he said quietly. “All of this just happened so fast and I know you want to see Holden and be a part of his life… But I… I just need to think.”

Harry bit his lip as he looked at the older lad, that sounding more than reasonable considering what Louis said last night. “Yeah, of course, take your time,” he said gently.

“Daddy I up from my nap!!”

Both men perked their heads up at Holden’s little voice, Louis letting out a deep breath as he didn’t even know Liam had put him down but was secretly grateful he did.

“Do you uhm… Should I go?” Harry asked, not knowing if Louis wanted Holden to see him.

He wanted to do this by Louis’ terms because it was the older lad that needed to forgive him. It was Louis he had to prove that he wasn’t going anywhere, prove that he respected him as a father and Harry didn’t want to push him.

And all Lous did was nod as he heard his son’s little feet patter around upstairs, about to head towards the stairs to join him in the living room. “I’ll get in touch with you, just give me a little bit.”

“Of course,” Harry breathed out as he pushed himself off the couch. “I uhm… I still have your number so I’ll text you so you can have mine.”

Again Louis nodded, his eyes focusing back on the tea in his hands.

Harry looked at him for a moment, could hear Holden running around upstairs and all he wanted to do was see him. He just wanted to talk to his son, to spend time with him and get to know him but as Harry walked towards the door and out to his car he thought that time would come soon. And it broke his heart as he sat in his car in Louis’ driveway that he wasn’t in there, that Louis didn’t want him in there. But Harry had to prove himself, had to show Louis that he wasn’t going to give up on them. He will give the older lad space and let him think, but Harry wasn’t leaving them, not again.

*~*

It was a week later and Louis still didn't know what to tell Harry, what to say to him.

Of course the younger lad would text him, ask him about his day or how Holden was doing but all Louis ever gave him were very short answers. Him and Holden kept with their routine during the week, Louis teaching, and Holden going to daycare before he joined his father at the school and they went home. But everyday Louis was constantly battling with himself on what to do.

He hasn't talked to Liam, he doesn't know what to say to him. And he's been avoiding Niall at the school, only really talking to Zayn when he drops Holden off.

Thankfully Holden or his students hadn't noticed anything about his behavior. His son still joins in on improv games and the class loves the toddler more and more each day so Louis can't complain about that at all.

But as he looks at his son it's so hard for him not to see Harry, or at least the Harry he once knew. The bubbly, outgoing and hilarious traits the younger lad had Holden did too, and as the toddler got ready for bed Friday night, Louis looking for a book for them to read, it was hard for him not to think the same thing over and over again as he glanced towards his son's bed.

"Daddy can you read Rob tonight?" Holden asked as he grabbed his blanket and pulled it into his chest.

"Of course big guy," Louis breathed out, reaching for the book of poems before making his way towards the bed and laying down next to his son.

"I want page 35 please," Holden said through a small smile as he shuffled next to his daddy, resting his head on his shoulder so he could look at the page.

Louis rolled his eyes fondly as he flipped to the page, knowing Holden had no clue what poem was on it but just liked picking random numbers. And once he found the page he wrapped a secure arm around his son, pulling him impossibly closer to his side before looking at the title of the poem.

"Alright, this one is called _The Road Not Taken_ ," Louis said quietly as he settled the book on his chest.

 

_Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,_

_And sorry I could not travel both_

_And be one traveler, long I stood_

_And looked down one as far as I could_

_To where it bent in the undergrowth;_

 

_Then took the other, as just as fair,_

_And having perhaps the better claim,_

_Because it was grassy and wanted wear;_

_Though as for that the passing there_

_Had worn them really about the same,_

 

_And both that morning equally lay_

_In leaves no step had trodden black._

_Oh, I kept the first for another day!_

_Yet knowing how way leads on to way,_

_I doubted if I should ever come back._

 

_I shall be telling this with a sigh_

_Somewhere ages and ages hence:_

_Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—_

_I took the one less traveled by,_

_And that has made all the difference._

 

Louis released a quiet breath as he finished the poem, looking down to Holden to see if he was actually still awake. And his son was very awake, just staring at the page with his bright green eyes as he sucked his thumb.

“Daddy what does this one mean?” Holden asked with furrowed eyebrows.

“I’ll tell you as soon as you take your thumb out of your mouth,” Louis said through a quiet laugh as he poked the toddler’s side, making him giggle. “There you are big guy,” he said as he smiled to himself, taking his son’s hand in his own and playing with his little fingers.

“Now you tell me?” Holden asked quietly as he looked at his hand in his daddy’s much larger one.

“I guess,” Louis said through a fake huff, making the 3 year old laugh into his neck. “So Mr.Frost is writing about having to make a decision, that’s what the two roads symbolize, like that’s what they mean,” he tried to explain as easily as possible. “It’s like when you don’t know if you want mac and cheese or daddy’s famous chicken soup and you have to choose one for dinner.”

“What?” Holden asked as he placed a little hand over his mouth. “But that so hard, you no only pick one!!”

“You have to only pick one,” Louis said through a quiet laugh as he looked down at the 3 year old. “But that’s what he’s saying, it’s hard to pick one, and he didn’t know what was at the end of the road because no one had gone down there before. And he decided he was going to go down that road and find out what was there, and he was happy he had.”

Holden nodded slowly as he wrapped his arm over his daddy’s tummy and tucked his head into his neck. “Well Rob smart cause I no choose. That too hard.”

Louis had to bite his lip, trying to stop his grin from widening as he looked down at Holden. It was impossible not to find him utterly adorable, especially when he was tired. “Well good thing you don’t have any big decisions to make for a while there big guy,” he whispered, gently rubbing his son’s back and kissing his head. “Goodnight H, love you.”

“Night night daddy, love you too” Holden said sleepily as he let his father get up from his bed and immediately snuggled into his blankets.

Louis gave him one more kiss and ran his fingers through Holden’s feathery hair before making sure he was tucked in and silently walking out of the room. And once he made it into the hall Louis stopped himself, the words in the poem running through his head.

He’s been having to make his own decision, whether to let Harry be a part of Holden’s life or not. Louis could take the unknown road, let Harry see him and risk the younger lad leaving them again but at the same time let Harry get to know their son. Or he could just not let Harry see Holden at all and nothing would change, it would still be him and his son, the road he knows and is comfortable with.

And he didn’t know what made him do it, what made him pull out his phone and scroll until he found Harry’s number, creating a new message.

**To Harry: Come over for dinner tomorrow ?**

Maybe it was the Robert Frost's’ words in his head, or it was Louis’ secret curiosity and his way of testing Harry as he sent the message off. He didn’t trust the younger lad one bit, but this was one way to see how he was with Holden, if he even seemed like he could act like a father.

And Harry’s response was quick and exactly what Louis thought the younger lad would say. So this was the first step down the unknown road, and Louis only hoped he made the right decision.

**From Harry: Wouldn’t miss it for the world.**

*~*

“Holden!!” Louis yelled up the stairs, only to hear the little patter of feet a second later.

“What daddy?” Holden said as he hopped down the stairs and leapt into his father’s arms.

Louis let out a quiet laugh as he caught the 3 year old and felt him wrap his arms around his neck. “So someone is coming over in just a few minutes for dinner, do you think you can wash your hands for me?”

“Who coming for dinner?” Holden asked with furrowed eyebrows.

“You’ll see buddy, but hands first,” Louis said, giving the toddler a sloppy kiss on the cheek before setting him down and watching as he scurried down the hall to the bathroom. “And use soap!!” he called after him.

“Maybe!” Holden yelled back through a giggle, making his father roll his eyes.

“You better or I’ll send the tickle monster on you tonight!!” Louis warned as he made his way towards the kitchen to check on dinner.

“No Rob protect me!!” Holden said as he washed his hands, referring to the cat.

Louis scoffed quietly to himself as he shook his head and checked the lasagna in the oven. And when he stood back up he noticed the time, Harry was going to be here any minute, and at that thought it made Louis grow a bit nervous. But he didn’t even have time to overthink anything before he heard the doorbell go off, making his heart beat just a bit faster.

“I got it!!”

Louis snapped his head up, immediately rushing towards the door but he couldn’t get it in time before his son opened the door. “Holden what did I tell you about answering the door? You can’t do that buddy, only if I’m with you,” he said kneeling down to the 3 year old’s height.

Holden didn’t even take in what his father had said as he looked up at the man at their door, recognizing him immediately. “Daddy,” he whispered, tapping on his father’s shoulder before cupping a hand around his ear.

Harry swallowed thickly as he looked at the two, already nervous enough but now Holden didn’t even seem remotely pleased to see him. And to make it worse he knew the toddler was whispering about him, given by the way Louis kept glancing at him.

“Daddy why he here, he make you sad,” Holden whispered.

Louis let out a quiet breath as he looked up at Harry, seeing the worry flash across his face as Holden whispered to him. “Well he apologized and daddy thought it would be nice if he could come over for a little bit,” he said softly, feeling the younger lad’s eyes on them.

“So you no sad?” Holden asked quietly as he bit his lip. “I no want you sad daddy.”

“No, I’m not sad buddy, it’s okay,” Louis said as he offered Holden a soft smile. “But let’s be polite yeah? Can we be nice to Harry?”

Holden looked up to the man still standing at his door before letting out a small huff and nodding at his daddy. “Hi Harry,” he said quietly, hiding slightly behind his father’s legs as he stood up.

Harry cleared his throat nervously, trying to calm down but the harder he tried the more impossible it seemed. “Hey buddy it’s good to see you again,” he said softly, offering the 3 year old a small smile.

Louis looked between the two, watching to see if Holden would say anything else, but by the way he was clinging to his leg and barely looking at the curly haired lad Louis thought that was that.

“Alright, well come on in,” he breathed out, stepping aside and letting Harry inside.

Harry bit his lip as he nodded and shuffled past the two, letting out a deep breath and trying desperately to relax, this was just dinner after all. But then Harry thought that no, this wasn’t just dinner. This was dinner with his ex-boyfriend and son that he never really met before this, and said son doesn’t seem to want anything to do with him.

“So uhm, are you thirsty Harry? Is there anything I can get you?” Louis asked as he tried to pry Holden’s arms off from around his leg.

Harry opened his mouth, just about to ask for a beer to calm his nerves before he thought better of it. “Water please, thank you,” he said quietly, shifting his gaze back to Holden and seeing him still hiding behind Louis.

Louis nodded before looking down to his son and letting out a small breath. “Buddy stop it,” he said, gently having him move out from behind him. “I’m gonna get Harry some water can you be polite and maybe show him some of your toys?”

Holden bit his lip as he looked up to the curly haired lad again but he couldn’t even say anything before he saw his daddy walk away.

Harry watched shocked as Louis walked away, not expecting for the older lad to just leave him alone like this, but then again maybe this was some kind of test and already he was failing miserably. He had no idea what to say to Holden, and that broke his heart because this is his son in front of him, the toddler looking just as lost as he was.

“Uhm… Do you like Spiderman?” Holden asked quietly, trying to be nice like his daddy told him.

“Yeah I do,” Harry said, offering the 3 year old a small smile. “I’m sure your daddy showed you all the movies huh?” he asked, not even able to remember how many times the older lad forced him to watch the films when they were dating.

Holden nodded quickly as he smiled to himself. “Yeah! Now no tell daddy but I think he like Spiderman too much,” he whispered. “I like Spiderman but daddy…” Holden trailed off as he shook his head.

Harry couldn’t help the small laugh that escaped him as he knelt down to the toddler’s height. “You don’t have to tell me big guy. Trust me, I know he’s a little crazy, but don’t tell him I said that,” he said, putting a finger over his mouth like it was their little secret.

Holden giggled to himself as he nodded at Harry, telling him it would be their secret.

“So do you have a favorite Spiderman toy then?” Harry asked with raised eyebrows.

“Of course,” Holden said as if that was a stupid question. “Here, it in my room, I show you!” he said before reaching for Harry’s shirt and tugging on him.

“H wait.”

“What?” both Harry and Holden said at the same time, turning to Louis.

“U-uhm, I meant Holden,” Louis said quietly as he bit his lip and looked between the two. “Buddy can you uhm... Dinner’s ready, so let’s eat,” he managed out, gesturing towards the dining room.

Harry watched as Holden nodded and scurried off to the dining room before focusing his gaze back on Louis and raising his eyebrows at him.

“Well, come on,” Louis said quietly, clearing his throat as he led the younger lad towards the dining room.

Harry almost wanted to ask him about the nickname but instead didn’t bother, just followed Louis to the table. And as he took a seat he saw Holden waiting for his daddy to finish putting food on their plates.

“Daddy I need it cut,” Holden said as his father put a plate in front of him.

“I know buddy, give me two minutes alright?” Louis said, trying to get food for himself and Harry.

Harry looked between the two before focusing on the toddler. “I can cut it if you want?” he offered as he bit his lip.

Harry watched as Holden shrugged and passed him his plate, so Harry took it and began cutting up the food, making sure it was small enough for him to eat. And the entire time he could feel Louis’ eyes on him, but he figured that he better get used to the older lad constantly watching him.

“Here you are big guy,” Harry said as he offered the 3 year old a small smile and gave him his plate back.

“Thank you!” Holden said happily before picking up his fork and digging into his food.

Harry couldn’t help but let his smile widen, Holden seeming to be warming up to him a bit and that definitely calmed his nerves some. And once Louis placed a plate in front of him he said his own thank you’s before picking up his own fork to eat.

Harry almost forgot how nice it was to have a real home cooked meal, most of his own meals coming from take out, whatever the studio had ordered, or the special at the pub that night.

“This is really great Louis, thank you,” he said before taking another bite of his food, really missing the older lad’s dinners he would always come home to.

“Daddy the best cook,” Holden said before his father could say anything.

“Oh yeah?” Harry asked with raised eyebrows. “And what’s your favorite thing that daddy makes?”

Holden groaned, making his father laugh as they had talked about this last night. “I don’t know,” he huffed before taking another bite of his food. “My favorite mac and cheese and chicken soup. I also like chocolate milk.”

“Buddy I don’t make chocolate milk,” Louis said through a quiet laugh.

“It still good,” Holden shrugged as he rolled his eyes.

Harry raised his eyebrows at the toddler before letting out his own chuckle and glancing over at Louis. “Quite the attitude, wonder where he got that from.”

Louis hummed as he chewed and shook his head, not really giving the younger lad an answer or saying anything on it.

Harry let out a quiet breath and nodded, not really expecting much from Louis considering he hates him, but he still wanted to try and make it so the older lad at least didn’t mind the thought of them being near each other. Instead of focusing on Louis though he turned his attention back to Holden, asking him questions about other things he likes and just trying to get to know him a little bit. And Harry was pleasantly surprised as the toddler talked and talked, going from one subject to the next, almost talking so much that Louis had to remind him to eat a few times. But when he had taken a bite of food he would dive right back into what he was talking about.

Most of what he was talking about though was Louis. “Me and daddy this” or “daddy and I that”, and it was obvious just how much Holden loved his father. He loved spending time with Louis and it seemed as though he loved talking about him just as much he loved spending time with him. And Harry only hoped that one day Holden would talk about him like that, that one day they could have a real relationship where Holden relied on him for things or could come to him for anything.

“I go to daddy’s class and it my favorite thing because we play games and the kids are funny and-”

Holden stopped himself as he heard a cellphone ringing and Harry pulling it out of his pocket, taking his attention away from him.

“Do you need to get that? Is it management or something?” Louis asked with raised eyebrows.

“No, no, it’s fine,” Harry said ignoring the call and shoving his phone right back into his pocket.

“Seriously Harry, it’s fine if it’s work,” Louis said as he took the last bite of food on his plate.

Harry shook his head, yes it being management, but they could wait. “No I’m here, no work tonight,” he said through a small smile.

“Where you work Harry?” Holden asked with furrowed eyebrows before taking another bite of food.

Harry looked over to the toddler, happily surprised he was actually interested. “Well I’m a singer so I work at a couple different places,” he said as he laughed to himself.

“You a singer?” Holden asked, almost looking confused.

“Buddy you know the people we hear on the radio?” Louis asked and when Holden nodded he continued. “Well Harry is one of those people. He writes songs and they get played on the radio.”

Holden’s mouth formed an ‘o’ shape as he nodded, now understanding. “You know the song I gonna fin anofer you?”

Louis cleared his throat slightly as he wiped his napkin over his mouth as Harry looked at him a little confused. “[I’m gonna find another you](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2EZWzq6kXVc),” he said, quietly translating what his son was trying to say.

Harry felt himself still as he looked at the older lad, but then slowly shifted his gaze to Holden. “Uhm yeah I do…”

“That my favorite song,” Holden stated as he nodded to himself.

“You know…” Louis started off, shifting in his seat and looking over to Harry. “Harry wrote that song, didn’t you?” he asked with raised eyebrows as he crossed his arms over his chest.

Harry swallowed thickly but nodded anyway as he saw Holden looking at him wide eyed. “Yeah that’s one of my songs,” he said quietly. “And that’s your favorite?”

“I love it!!” Holden said excitedly. “It so pretty, I even know all the words.”

Harry offered him a small grin but he could still feel Louis’ eyes on him, both of them knowing that song was about them, it was impossible to deny that. And of course that song out of any others had to be Holden’s favorite.

“I’m so happy you like one of my songs buddy, that means a lot,” he said softly.

Holden smiled at the older man before taking his last bite of food and hopping out of his booster seat. “Harry you done? I want to show you my toys.”

“Yeah, I’m done buddy but I think I’m gonna help your daddy clean all this up if that’s okay.”

“No Harry you go,” Louis said as he shook his head. “H why don’t you give him the full tour?” he asked, looking to Holden. **  
**

“Okay!” Holden said happily before tapping Harry on the shoulder, wanting him to come. **(A/N[Louis' House](http://www.luxuryestate.com/p10282871-detached-house-for-sale-hightown))**

Harry glanced up at Louis as he began clearing off the table, but all the older lad did was nod at Holden, urging him to go. “Alright buddy, lead the way,” he said as he stood up, immediately feeling the 3 year old’s little hand wrap around two of his fingers and tug on him.

When Louis told Holden to give him a full tour Harry didn’t think the toddler would actually show him every room and explain what that room was used for. He even dragged him into the kitchen and explained that’s where all their food comes from and Harry couldn’t help but laugh at Louis’ fond eye roll as he washed up.

Holden kept his hand tight around Harry’s fingers pulling him into one room and then the next, talking happily and nearly jumping at how excited he was.

He was beyond happy that Holden had grown more comfortable with him over the course of the night, really taking a huge load off his shoulders as at least his own son didn’t hate him. And he loved smiling and laughing as the toddler pulled his hand one way and then the next, trying to show him every little thing he could in the house.

But when they made their way upstairs Harry could feel Holden tugging on his fingers, urging him to continue their walk through the home, something caught his eye, making him stop in his tracks.

It was a [wall covered with different pictures](https://40.media.tumblr.com/074770d5c6cb2ee7b06e53ba75ce86b8/tumblr_inline_nv3ngsjVtx1sxfk5o_540.jpg). Pictures of Holden and Louis, Liam and Zayn. And they were moments that Harry had missed over the years. They were memories with Holden that Harry could never have and just at the sight of the wall he felt his throat getting tight. But as he felt his son tugging on his fingers again, whining “come on Harry”, he vowed he wouldn’t miss another moment.

“I’m coming, I’m coming,” Harry said through a small laugh as he let the toddler lead him towards what he assumed to be Holden’s room.

Holden released Harry’s fingers and pushed open the door, immediately running into his room and getting his favorite toy. “Spiderman!!” he said, running back to the curly haired lad and shoving it in his hand.

Harry smiled to himself as he walked into the room and looked down at the action figure in his hand. He took a seat by the bed on the floor, resting his back against it as he watched the 3 year old running one way and then another, picking up toys and passing them to Harry.

“You better not make a mess, your father will have my head,” Harry said through a chuckle as Holden built up a pile of toys in front of him.

“Well you get in trouble, not me,” Holden said as he laughed to himself and took a seat next to Harry, picking up one of his toys and playing with it.

Harry felt his jaw go slack as he heard the toddler and poked him in his side, making him giggle. “Are you trying to get me in trouble? Is that it?” he asked jokingly.

Holden shrugged as he looked down at his toys and picked up another one, not expecting a poke to his side again.

“Are you ticklish?” Harry asked amusedly as he kept poking the toddler’s side and Holden tried to push his hand away.

Holden quickly shook his head, trying to keep in his laughter as Harry began tickling more and more.

“Oh no? You’re not?” Harry asked through a quiet chuckle as Holden was nearly falling into his lap as both his hands tickled the toddler’s sides.

“N-n-no!!” Holden said with a loud laugh as he squeezed his eyes shut and desperately tried to push Harry’s hands away.

Harry let up on his tickle attack as Holden was sprawled out over his lap and breathing heavily, trying to calm down. “What happened? You okay?” he asked teasingly.

“Bad Harry,” Holden said, lightly hitting the older man’s chest as he laid in his lap.

Harry laughed to himself as he saw that Holden wasn’t upset at all, instead trying to bite back a smile. As the 3 year old laid in his lap he took his features, the toddler really being a mixture of him and Louis. He had his bright green eyes, the same hair color as him, the same dimples and nose. But everything else was Louis. His feathery hair and sharp jaw, but what was really evident he was Louis’ son was his personality.

“Rob!!!” Holden said suddenly.

Harry almost jumped where he was sitting from how loud Holden just screamed and felt the toddler scramble off his lap.

“Harry this is Rob! He my cat!” Holden said, rushing towards the grey and white fluffy cat and picking him up.

“Hey, careful buddy,” Harry said worriedly, not wanting him to get scratched. “Are you able to hold him like that?”

“Of course! Rob love me!!” Holden said, squeezing the cat and kissing it all over it’s little head.

Harry almost wanted to laugh at the cat in Holden’s arms, Rob just letting the 3 year old do as he pleases and not making any complaints.

Louis had come up to join them once he finished the kitchen and the three spent an hour just playing in Holden’s room, mostly Louis watching the two and just seeing how they were interacting.

But an hour later and completely disheveled room later Louis announced it was bedtime and Harry stayed out of the way for that, not wanting to mess up any routine they had.

“Hey buddy, I just wanna say goodnight,” Harry said once he saw Holden in his pajamas and knelt down to his height “I had a super fun time with you tonight,” he said, offering the toddler a small smile.

“Harry when you come play again?” Holden asked before placing his thumb in his mouth.

“Whenever you and daddy want me over give me a call,” Harry said happily before pulling the toddler’s thumb out of his mouth, watching Louis do that all night.

As Louis looked down at the two he wasn’t all that surprised by how quickly Holden had taken to Harry. His son took quickly to anyone who played with him but it was clear just how much Holden liked him. If anything it was a relief to Louis that Holden liked Harry, but at the same time he couldn’t help but worry that his son might get attached only for Harry to leave again.

“C’mon buddy, say goodnight to Harry,” he said, wanting to actually have time to talk to the younger lad alone and lay down some rules.

“Night night Harry,” Holden said before wrapping his arms around the curly haired lad’s neck and hugging him.

Harry was a bit taken back as he felt little arms wrap around him, but it was impossible to stop the wide smile that came to him as he pulled his son into his chest. “Good night buddy, I’ll see you soon,” he said softly, giving the 3 year old one more squeeze before letting him go.

“Meet you in the living room,” Louis said quietly after he told Holden to go to the bathroom to brush his teeth.

Harry nodded and offered the older lad a tight lined smile before making his way downstairs and to the living room.

He was only waiting for a few minutes, wasting his time by petting Rob before Louis came down stairs and joined him on the couch.

“So tonight was good,” Louis said as he combed his fingers through his hair.

“Yeah it was,” Harry said through a soft smile. “I really can’t thank you enough for letting me come over and everything.”

Louis nodded as he bit his lip and kept his eyes focused on his hands in his lap. “I’m not going to tell him you’re his father… Not until I know you’re serious about sticking around.”

“That’s reasonable,” Harry said quietly, knowing Louis just didn’t want Holden to get hurt. “But Louis I swear, I’m not going anywhere… I’m gonna be here for as long as you’ll have me.”

“And I only want you with him if I’m there,” Louis said, wanting to just get all of this out of the way. “Like you can be in the same room as him without me, but I want to be close by.”

Harry nodded, figuring Louis didn’t even want to hear what he had to say but just tell him his rules. “Whatever you want. I have no problems with any of that.”

“Good,” Louis breathed out.

Harry looked at the older lad and it was clear how much he didn’t trust him, how hurt Louis was by everything that happened to him. And Harry wished he could do anything to change that. He wished he could go back to that day all those years ago and hit himself for being so stupid, for leaving the only person he’s ever really loved.

“Well it’s getting late, and I’m sure you have something or someone you’d rather do than be here,” Louis said quietly, refusing to look at the younger lad.

“Louis…” Harry barely said as he shook his head.

“It’s whatever Harry, you can go out. Have fun at the bars, pick someone up and-”

“Louis,” Harry said firmly, wanting him to stop. “Please don’t do this,” he said quietly. “Yeah, alright, maybe I drink a little too much but I haven’t slept with anyone since you and I broke up so please just stop,” Harry nearly begged, hating the way Louis thought of him like that.

Louis snapped his head up, looking at the younger lad with wide eyes. “You what…?”

Harry shook his head as he stood up from the couch, not wanting to talk about this right now. “You were the last person I slept with so please stop making me sound like some kind of slut.”

“B-but… Why?” Louis barely whispered, knowing Harry could get anyone he wanted.

Harry bit his lip as he felt ters pool in his eyes. “Because I… I loved you,” he said just loud enough for the older lad to hear. “You may have hurt me when I thought all that stuff was going on with you and Liam and I loved the idea of hating you but I don’t, not even a little bit or at all… I just… I never stopped loving you…”

Louis felt his throat tighten as he heard the younger lad, his body refusing to move as he looked up at him.

“Thank you for having me over again,” Harry said quietly before wiping away the stray tear that fell onto his cheek and rushing towards the door.

Louis watched as Harry left, his own eyes pooling with tears at what Harry had said. And if Louis wasn’t confused and lost before he sure as hell was now.

All I Want Playlist

 

 

 

 

[Let Me Love You](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_eTytNgcYOk) [Ne-Yo-Glee Version](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_eTytNgcYOk) 3:38

[Leave Your Lover](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M8pK3KBwC84) [Sam Smith](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M8pK3KBwC84) 3:26

[The Otherside](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l4Lt4zlCb-M) [Taylor Ward](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l4Lt4zlCb-M) 2:58

[Give Your Heart A Break](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XKiUcTvr-TQ) [Glee Version](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XKiUcTvr-TQ) 3:29

[Friends](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Myaod6GC4U) [Ed Sheeran](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Myaod6GC4U) 3:09

[Make You Feel My Love](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jNBmoj32pq4) [Adele](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jNBmoj32pq4) 3:15

[Tonight](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k-6WAexAPP4) [John Legend Ft. Ludacris](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k-6WAexAPP4) 3:57

[Sometime Around Midnight](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m53cWa-CdUg) [The Airborne Toxic Event](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m53cWa-CdUg) 5:03

[Kiss Me](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MXL8BEPl-Nw) [Ed Sheeran](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MXL8BEPl-Nw) 4:35

[Infinity](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QaY1ezWUhi0) [One Direction- Slow Mode](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QaY1ezWUhi0%20%0A%0A) 5:24

[I’m Gonna Find Another You](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2EZWzq6kXVc) [John Mayer](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2EZWzq6kXVc) 2:43

[Comfortable](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BroiKmNGbfI) [John Mayer](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BroiKmNGbfI) 5:02

[Where Do Broken Heart Go](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6QpPMbzVqic) [One Direction](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6QpPMbzVqic) 3:45

[Code by Layouttesst](http://layouttesst.livejournal.com/profile)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright so there's a lot in this chapter but I hope you enjoyed it !! Of course if you have questions or are confused please ask, I really don't mind. You can ask on here or my [tumblr](http://lhstylinson9193.tumblr.com/) and on my tumblr is where I'll post sneak peeks. Those will be posted a few days before the chapter update. Leave comments, give kudos if you haven't, thanks !!


	5. Chapter 5

“So how was it then?” Zayn asked after he took a bite of his lunch. “Harry coming over and everything? Was it alright?”

Louis let out a quiet breath as he pushed his leftover chicken around in it’s container and shrugged. “It was fine. Him and Holden got on real quickly which is good I guess.”

“But?” Zayn asked with raised eyebrows.

“I dunno, I just…” Louis shook his head as he pushed his food away, not even hungry. “I keep asking myself what I’m doing, like what my plan is when it comes to Harry.”

“What do you mean?” Zayn asked confused.

“I keep thinking about everything he’s said to me,” Louis said quietly as he shook his head. “Like if he knew he wouldn’t have gone on tour… If Liam gave me his real email he would’ve come back without a second thought and even now he’s acting like he did all those years ago when we were together, saying he would drop everything just to be there for me and Holden.”

Zayn let out a quiet breath before taking another bite of his sandwich and looking over to the older lad, not quite sure what to say.

“I just… I don’t know how to feel and it’s making my head hurt,” Louis groaned as he rubbed his hands over his face. “There’s Harry and Liam and Holden and I can’t do any of this.”

“Do you think if you told Harry all those years ago about Holden you guys would still be together? Like be a couple or a family or whatever?” Zayn asked with his mouth full.

Louis let out a small breath as he slumped in his seat, not even needing to think about it before nodding. “You know what he said before he left on Saturday?”

“What?” Zayn asked as he chewed.

“That he hasn’t slept with anyone else since we broke up… That he never stopped loving me,” Louis said quietly, those words replaying over and over again in his head.

At that Zayn swallowed thickly and looked to his best mate with raised eyebrows. “Are you… Do you want to go back to him? Is that what this is? Why you’re so confused?”

“What? Of course not,” Louis said as he shook his head and forked a piece of his chicken. “It’s just he’s back in my life now, and there’s Holden so he’s gonna be around and I don’t know what to do… Especially with him being all… I dunno, him.”

“Mate,” Zayn breathed out as he shook his head. “I know you never got over him, and now with him back you’re acting like-”

“He left me Zayn,” Louis said as he bit his lip. “He hurt me and said terrible things to me, and who says he’s not gonna do that all over again?” he asked with a touch of anger in his voice.

Zayn just looked at his best mate for a second before glancing down at his food. “You know he only left because he thought you were cheating on him… You never actually told him about the baby.”

Louis released a deep breath as he shook his head. “Things were complicated back then…”

“I know they were mate, I’m just saying it seems like things aren’t really done between you two.”

Louis opened his mouth to protest but just as he was about to he saw the teacher’s lounge door swing open, only to reveal a familiar blonde.

“Uh h-hey,” Niall said as he offered the older lad a nervous smile. “Can I uhm, can I join you guys?”

“Yeah, of course mate,” Louis said, gesturing to the open seat beside Zayn.

Niall nodded gratefully and pulled the chair out beside the raven haired man and getting his lunch out. “Hey, m’Niall,” he said, introducing himself.

“Good to meet ya mate, I'm Zayn, ” he said through a small smile before taking a sip of his drink. “Do you two know each other?” Zayn asked, looking between the Irish lad and Louis as it seemed like they did.

“Uhm yeah,” Louis said, clearing his throat slightly. “Niall is actually Harry’s best mate, we met in uni when he and I started dating.”

“Really?” Zayn asked with raised eyebrows. “Must be fun to have a popstar as a best mate,” he said through a quiet laugh, getting a nudge from Louis’ foot under the table.

But what Louis had noticed was how Niall’s smile almost vanished completely.

“Well uh, it can have it’s perks I guess,” Niall said through his best convincing laugh as he scratched the back of his neck. “But I dunno, Harry hasn’t really been the same since you two broke up.”

Louis glanced up from his food as he took a bite and swallowed thickly. “How’s he changed?” he asked quietly.

Niall let out a small breath as he picked up his sandwich and shrugged. “He just… He tried to get over you in not the best way and sometimes it just gets to be too much.”

Louis and Zayn looked to each other, that worrying Louis a bit since Harry was spending time with Holden. “Well what does he do? Not like drugs or anything right?” he asked a bit nervously.

“No, no,” Niall quickly shook his head before taking a bite of his food. “I’m sure you’ve seen the tabloids and everything… He just drinks a little too much sometimes,” he said quietly.

Louis bit his lip as he nodded slowly and looked down to his food. He knows he’s called Harry some names, one of them being an alcoholic but he didn’t actually think the younger lad had a problem with drinking.

“Don’t worry Lou,” Niall said as he saw panic flash over the older lad’s face. “Since he found out about Holden he’s staying in and calming it down with the drinks. He’s really trying you know…”

Louis hummed as he chewed his food, thinking that Harry should be trying after everything that’s happened between them.

“And you know after he had dinner at your place he wouldn’t shut up about it for hours,” Niall said through a small laugh. “I was sure Ed was a second away from smacking him just to make him shut up cause he kept goin on about you and Holden.”

“Really?” Louis asked quietly.

Zayn raised his eyebrows at his best mate as he saw the older lad a little flustered at what Niall said. “You know…” he started off, getting Louis’ attention. “If you and Harry ever want to maybe go out, and catch up by yourselves I can always watch H,” Zayn offered. “Cause I’m sure there are things you guys need to talk about… Or maybe clear up.”

Louis clenched his jaw as he locked his eyes on Zayn but felt Niall looking at him confused. “I don’t think that’ll be necessary.”

Zayn put his hands up, not wanting the older lad to get all mad at him, it was just a suggestion. “Well if there’s anything I can do to help just gimme a call,” he said before packing up his lunch and standing up from his chair, needing to get ready for class. “Good to meet ya mate.”

“You too,” Niall said through a small smile, waving slightly at the dark haired man as he left. And when he turned back to Louis he saw the older lad focused on his lunch. “So uhm when do you think you guys will have dinner again?” Niall asked before taking a bite of his food.

“I dunno, sometime later this week probably,” Louis shrugged. “Holden’s been asking about him coming over to play so…”

“Haz will be happy to hear that,” Niall said with a soft smile. “He really wants to be a part of his life… Both your lives really.”

Louis bit his lip as he nodded, this still being so foreign to him. Harry just showing up after years and trying to be a part of Holden’s life, a part of his own life again. And Louis only wondered how long it will take this time for things to go wrong.

*~*

Harry let out a deep breath and shuffled on his feet as he waited for the door to be answered. And thankfully he didn’t have to wait too long before it swung open, only to reveal a wide smiling Holden.

“Harry!!” the 3 year old squealed before lunging at the curly haired lad.

Harry immediately opened his arms, a warm smile stretching across his face as he caught the toddler. “My big guy, I missed you,” he said, pulling Holden into his chest. “But what did daddy say about answering the door?” Harry asked, raising his eyebrows at him.

"Daddy say it okay this time!" Holden said, trying to defend himself.

"Did he really or are you just trying to pull one over my head?" Harry asked through a quiet laugh before carrying the toddler inside and adjusting him on his hip.

"Daddy!!" Holden yelled. "Harry call me a liar!" he said, scowling at the curly haired man and crossing his arms over his chest.

Harry felt his jaw go slack as he laughed to himself and looked to the 3 year old in his arms. “You little tattle tale, I’m gonna get you for that,” he said in fake seriousness.

“What you gon do? Hug me to death?” Holden said challengingly through a small smirk.

Harry raised his eyebrows at the toddler but it was only a second later he pulled Holden impossibly closer to his chest and began to mercilessly tickle the 3 year old.

“H-H-Harry!!” Holden shrieked as he tried to push the older man’s hand away.

“What?” Harry asked as he chuckled to himself and continued his tickle attack. “Why are you squirming? What’s wrong?” he asked teasingly, not letting up as the toddler was twisting and wiggling in his arms, letting out barking laughs.

“What are you doing to my son?”

Harry snapped his head up as he heard Louis and watched as the older lad came up to him and reached for Holden, rescuing him from the never-ending tickling. “Uhm hey,” he said, as he saw Louis adjusting a heavily breathing and giggling Holden in his arms. “Were you uh, were you grading or something?” Harry asked, noticing the blue eyed lad’s glasses and he only ever wore those if he was reading.

“Oh uhm no,” Louis said, pulling his glasses off and shoving them in his pocket. “I was just going through a few scripts… Trying to pick one out for this year's musical.”

Harry hummed as he nodded to himself. “So uh, thanks for inviting me over again,” he said through a small smile, this being the third time he’s been over this week and it was only Thursday. In the past month this has to be the most he’s come over to the older lad’s house in a single week, and it was definitely something Harry wanted to keep up.

“Well I had to just to shut this one up,” Louis said jokingly as he looked down at his son and gave him a sloppy kiss on his cheek. “I’m more surprised you’ve been able to make it.”

“I want to be here with you guys,” Harry said quietly as he shrugged to himself.

“No work?” Louis asked surprised, before setting down a squirming Holden, him starting to get bored.

“Uhm…” Harry said slowly as he scratched the back of his neck. “Well of course there is, but I uh, I just canceled my meetings, it’s not a big deal,” he said, not even wanting to get into how annoyed his management has been getting with him as Harry’s barely been around for the past month.

“Harry you can just say you can’t come, it’s fine,” Louis said as he crossed his arms over his chest and bit his lip.

Harry shook his head, it not being fine at all. He hasn’t been there for 4 years, and now that he has the opportunity to be around he isn’t going to give it up. “I’ll reschedule for during the day, it’s really no problem.”

Louis let out a quiet breath as he nodded and shifted his weight on his feet. “Well you came on a good night cause it’s Thursday and that means-”

“Pizza night!!” Holden cheered from his spot on the floor where he was playing with his toys.

Harry looked over to the 3 year old and smiled at him before making his way to where he was sitting with his toys and laying down on the floor next to him. “And what kind of pizza do you like?” he asked, picking up one of Holden’s action figures and making it do flips in the air.

“Veggie pizza,” Holden said as he took the toy Harry was playing with because he wanted it before handing him a different one. “Daddy like pepper on his.”

“Pepperoni big guy,” Harry said through a quiet laugh as he glanced up at the older lad, only to see his eyes already on him. “I mean you uh, you still like that, don’t you?”

Louis nodded as he bit his lip and headed towards the couch to sit. “And you still like veggie?” he asked with raised eyebrows, looking between the two on the floor.

Harry hummed, a small smile coming to him as he looked at Holden, loving how they both liked the same kind of pizza. Well that and the fact that Louis had remembered what he liked as well. “What do you guys do on pizza night? Anything fun?”

“We watch movie and daddy give me soda and popcorn!” Holden said as he bounced excitedly and crawled closer to Harry, wanting to play with the action figure he had.

“Oh yeah?” Harry asked as he raised his eyebrows at Louis. “Do you sleep at night?” he asked Holden teasingly.

“It’s like not even half a cup of soda and only a small bowl of popcorn, he’s fine,” Louis waved off as he rolled his eyes and tried to hold back a small laugh.

“Yeah Harry I fine,” Holden said as he narrowed his eyes at the older man, not wanting to get his treats taken away.

Harry put his hands up in defeat as Holden crawled on him, only to take a seat on his stomach. “Alright geez, no need to attack,” he said jokingly before poking the toddler’s tummy.

“Harry are you stay over for movie?” Holden asked as he bounced on the curly haired lad and played with his toys on his chest.

Harry bit his lip as he shifted his eyes from the toddler sitting on him to Louis, silently asking him if it was okay. And when the older lad gave him a small nod Harry couldn’t help the soft grin that came to him. “Yeah buddy, I’d love to stay for a movie,” he said, trying to get Holden to stay still on him as he was wiggling all over the place.

“Yay!!” Holden said excitedly, jumping on Harry and knocking the wind out of him. “I pick out movie!! It a surprise!!”

Louis muffled a laugh into his hand as he saw the younger lad trying to catch his breath after his son jumped on him. It was still a bit odd for Louis to see the two of them together. To see Harry again after all these years and playing with Holden, being there for him, because Louis never thought he would be. He never thought Harry Styles would come back into his life.

“I’m happy you’re so excited buddy but maybe we can try not killing me,” Harry said through an airy laugh as Holden kept jumping on him and he picked the toddler up and off him.

“Oh you fine,” Holden said as he rolled his eyes and pat Harry’s curly hair. “Just like Rob,” he whispered, burying his hand in the older man’s hair.

Harry sat there still for a moment as he felt the 3 year old brushing his fingers through his hair, but then something hit him. “Did you just compare my hair to your cat…?”

“Yeah,” Holden said like that was a stupid question. “So fluffy,” he said quietly, keeping his hand in Harry’s hair.

Harry couldn’t help the loud laugh that escaped him as he reached for Holden and surprised the toddler by picking him up and over his head. “Alright you little weirdo, enough of that,” he said, making the 3 year old giggle. “Not the only Tomlinson who likes the curly hair huh?” Harry barely whispered as he settled Holden on his chest and stole a small glance at Louis, only to see the older lad looking at him wide eyed.

He didn’t actually think Louis had heard him, but it was very clear he had as it wasn’t even a second later he pushed himself off the couch and walked out of the room.

Harry bit his lip as he watched the older lad walk away, thinking maybe he shouldn’t be saying stuff like that. But it was true, when he and Louis were dating he always did have a thing for his short curls, there was no denying that.

15 minutes later though Louis still hadn’t come back into the room, and Harry figured he really shouldn’t be saying things like that. He didn’t know if it upset Louis, talking about the past, about the time when they were together or what. But all Harry knew was that he didn’t want the older lad upset or mad at him.

And it was only when the doorbell rang did Louis come back into the room, but Harry was quick to beat him to the door, wanting to pay for the pizza.

There was some protesting from the older lad and shock from the pizza delivery boy as he saw Harry Styles in front of him. But eventually Harry managed to pay for the food, sign a receipt for the food delivery guy and get inside before Holden had a meltdown about waiting too long and being hungry.

“H you need to relax alright,” Louis breathed out as his son kept complaining that he wasn’t moving fast enough. “You keep this up and no movie,” he warned as he raised his eyebrows at the toddler.

“Daddy,” Holden groaned as he slumped in his seat, his father taking way too long to cut up his food.

Louis let out a deep breath, trying to organize everything on the table as Holden kept whining.

“Alright big guy, c’mon,” Harry said softly as he could see Louis getting more and more frustrated. “We don’t want daddy upset right?” he asked as he took Holden’s plate and began cutting up his food.

“No,” Holden mumbled.

“Okay, so let’s listen to him and be good, yeah?” Harry asked with raised eyebrows before giving the toddler his plate back.

Holden bit his lip and nodded before looking down to his cut up pizza and picking up his fork.

Harry smiled down at him just as Louis placed a plate in front of him, and if possible his smile grew as he saw the older lad mouth a subtle “thank you”.

And as they ate Harry couldn’t wipe the grin off his face. Holden got out of his little mood quickly and as usual began talking both their ears off about everything and nothing.

By the time they were all done eating though the three boys were more than ready to just sit on the couch and relax. So as Louis cleared the table with Harry’s help Holden ran off to find a movie, not forgetting to remind the both of them that he wanted his treats.

“Demanding little boy huh?” Harry asked through a quiet laugh as he dried a cup Louis passed him.

“You have no idea,” Louis muttered, his own smile creeping onto his lips. “Sometimes it’s a bit much though… Ya know, he’s a toddler and tantrums can happen any second.”

“I’m guessing tonight wasn’t even the half of it,” Harry said, thinking of Holden’s small whining session at the table.

Louis scoffed as he shook his head. “Tonight was nothing,” he said, almost laughing at the thought of his son complaining being a tantrum. “You did good though…” Louis said quietly. “It’s weird seeing you like… Well I dunno, a parent.”

Harry bit his lip as he nodded and glanced over to the older lad. “I’m still trying to get used to seeing you as a parent,” he said, taking the wet plate Louis was passing him. “I just think back to the days when it was me and you, ya know?”

Louis felt himself still as he heard Harry and could feel the younger lad’s eyes on him. Especially with Harry back in his life now it was impossible not to think back to all those years ago when it was just them. When there were late nights, gentle touches and soft kisses. Now more than ever those thoughts took over Louis’ mind.

“Daddy!!”

Louis jumped at the sudden yell, him accidentally dropping the plate in his hands and making it clatter into the sink.

“Whoa, you alright?” Harry asked through a quiet laugh, reaching for the older lad’s arm to steady him.

“Fine, m’fine,” Louis rushed out as he swallowed thickly and pulled his arm away from Harry’s touch. “U-uhm H what do you need?”

“Daddy, Harry hurry!! I want to watch movie!” Holden called out.

Louis let out a few deep breaths, trying to clear his racing thoughts as he wiped his hands on a dishtowel.

“Hey,” Harry said softly, stopping the older lad as he was about to walk away. “You sure you’re alright?” he asked with furrowed eyebrows.

Louis hummed, not even looking at Harry as he kept his eyes on the ground and shuffled out of the kitchen. “What movie did you pick out buddy?”

“Into the Woods!!” Holden said excitedly as he hopped onto the couch and grabbed his blanket.

Louis rolled his eyes fondly, of course his son just had to pick the longest movie they own. “Alright big guy, you get settled and I’ll get your snacks,” he said, earning a very loud cheer from the toddler.

By the time Louis actually had their snacks together, the lights were off and the movie was finally in the DVD player Holden was close to having a meltdown but thankfully Harry managed to distract the 3 year old while they waited for Louis.

“Finally!” Holden said dramatically as he crawled off of Harry’s lap and over to his daddy to get his snacks from him.

“Oh yeah, sure buddy, you’re welcome,” Louis said teasingly as he pulled the toddler into his side and the opening credits began to roll.

“Thank you daddy,” Holden said, offering his father a wide smile before kissing his cheek.

Louis hummed to himself as he grinned down at his son and kissing his feathery hair. He was happy Holden finally calmed down now that he had his popcorn and soda, and that he himself could relax.

“Harry,” Holden whispered, wanting the older man’s attention. “Come here,” he said, patting the seat next to him.

Harry bit his lip from the other side of the couch as he looked over at the two. His eyes caught Louis’, but the older lad didn’t do anything besides look right back at him for a second before turning back to the tv. So Harry let out a quiet breath before slowly shuffling closer to the two, trying to keep a little distance between him and Louis’ arm, not quite sure how the older felt about them being so close.

And if Louis was uncomfortable he didn’t say anything the entire movie. The older lad kept his arm around Holden, their hands brushing occasionally as they reached for a handful of popcorn, but just that was enough to remind Harry how nervous he used to get around Louis.

He tried to take his mind off it though, tried to not get stuck on the thought that he was sitting with his ex-boyfriend and son, just watching a movie while Rob the fluffy cat purred in his lap. It felt so domestic and Harry never would’ve thought in a million years that he’d end up here.

And by the end of the movie Holden was sleeping against his arm, his tiny bowl of popcorn gone and soda finished as quiet snores escaped the toddler.

Harry watched as Louis carried him upstairs, keeping his place on the couch, knowing the older lad probably wanted to talk to him like he alway does after he puts Holden down about how the night went. But while he was doing that Harry knew he owed a few people some explanations and phone calls.

“Hello?”

“Hey mate,” Harry breathed into the phone. “Listen I’m really sorry about tonight, I just-”

“No, I get it H, it’s whatever,” Ed interrupted him. “Instead of just canceling though can you reschedule with me? Like this is important. I get you have Holden and everything, and whatever you’re doing with Louis but this is both our careers here.”

“I know, I know and that’s why I’m calling,” Harry said as he looked down to the cat in his lap and scratched between its ears. “How’s Monday afternoon? Come over to mine and we’ll talk about writing and maybe get some stuff recorded.”

Ed let out a deep breath into the phone as he ran a hand over his face. “Alright, yeah fine,” he said quietly. “And don’t forget to call management, the more you ignore them the pissier they’re getting.”

“Yeah, I’m gonna call them right after-” Harry stopped himself as he heard crying from upstairs, no doubt in his mind it was Holden. “Uhm right after I’m off with you, but I actually have to go. I’ll text you later.”

Ed didn’t even get the chance to say his goodbyes before Harry hung up and shoved his phone in his pocket. And just as he stood up from the couch to head upstairs to see what was wrong he saw Louis coming back down with a crying Holden in his arms.

“See it’s alright buddy, he didn’t go anywhere,” Louis said softly as he rocked his son on his hip.

Harry furrowed his eyebrows as he heard the older lad and saw him passing Holden to him. “What’s wrong big guy huh? What happened?” he asked, wiping the toddler’s wet cheeks and settling him on his hip.

Holden didn’t say anything but wrap his arms around Harry and bury his head into his neck as he sniffled to himself.

Harry looked down at the toddler, growing more and more confused as Holden was nearly clinging to him. “C’mon buddy I don’t like seeing you upset, what’s wrong?” he asked softly, rubbing the 3 year old’s back.

“M-me think you g-go bye bye,” Holden cried into his neck, wrapping his arms tighter around the older man.

Harry had no clue where this was coming from as he kept his eyes on Holden, trying to wipe his wet eyes and calm him down.

“He just thought you left without saying goodnight to him, that’s it,” Louis said quietly as he bit his lip and looked at the two. “H c’mon big guy, I know you’re tired and that’s why you’re crying. Let’s get you to bed and have you calm down a bit,” he said softly as he walked towards them and began rubbing his son’s back.

Harry let out a small breath as Holden kept crying and felt the toddler’s tears on his neck but when he glanced at Louis he saw the older lad nod towards the stairs, silently asking for Harry to follow him.

He shushed Holden, hating that he was crying just because he thought he left as he followed Louis up the stairs and to the 3 year old’s bedroom. And once they were inside Harry immediately made his way towards Holden’s bed, gently placing him on the mattress, grateful that he was calming down.

“There we go buddy, it’s alright,” Harry said quietly as Holden sniffled to himself and he tucked the toddler under his covers. “You okay?”

Holden wiped his wet eyes with his little hand as he nodded. “W-want you to say night night,” he hiccuped out.

Harry had to almost bite back a smile as he heard that. He said goodnight to Holden every time he comes over but he didn’t know it meant this much to the toddler. “Of course I was gonna come up here and say goodnight to you, I just had to make a few calls first, it’s okay.”

Holden nodded again as he sat up and wrapped his arms around the older man’s neck. “Goodnight Harry,” he said quietly.

“Goodnight buddy, I’ll see you real soon, alright?” Harry said, hugging the toddler back tightly and kissing his feathery hair.

Louis shifted his weight on his feet and bit his lip as he watched the two, noticing how attached Holden already was to Harry after a mere month, and that scared him more than anything. But when Harry gave one more kiss to the toddler and let him go Louis said his own goodnight's, showering his son in kisses and making him giggle. And once Holden kissed him back and said goodnight to his daddy Louis led Harry out of the room and to the living room couch to talk.

“Tonight was really fun, I-”

“There’s something you need to understand,” Louis said, cutting off the younger lad. “I don’t care what you do to me. I don’t care if you leave me, or don’t talk to me but if you even think about hurting my son, so help me God-”

“Louis what are you talking about?” Harry asked with furrowed eyebrows. “When are you going to realize I’m not going anywhere…? I mean if you were willing to just once sit down and have an actual conversation with me you’d understand that.”

Louis shook his head as he let out a deep breath and ran his hands over his face. “Just don’t hurt him.”

“I wouldn’t hurt him Louis…” Harry said softly, noticing how the older lad refused to look at him. “I don’t want to hurt either of you.”

“There are a lot of things we don’t want Harry,” Louis said quietly, keeping his eyes on the ground. “And yet somehow we can not want these things and they still happen...”

Harry let the sudden silence and heaviness in the room overcome him. He sat there, taking in the older lad’s words and letting them sink into him like daggers as he thought back to the day he would do anything to change.

“It’s uhm, it’s getting late, I think you should go,” Louis breathed out as he scratched the back of his neck.

“Well no, I mean it’s not that late…” Harry said as he bit the lip. “Can we please just talk?”

Louis shook his head, already pushing himself off the couch. “I have class in the morning and still have papers to grade.”

“Louis c’mon we haven’t been alone for more than 10 minutes, can we just-”

“I said I can’t,” Louis interrupted him, shaking his head again. “I’ll text you when you can come over again.”

Harry opened his mouth to protest, wanting to sit and talk now, but as he saw how Louis was looking at him he knew that was the last thing the older lad wanted.

So Louis watched as Harry got up from the couch and the curly haired lad let out a small breath before pulling his coat on and turning back to look at him.

“I uhm… I just wanted to let you know that even though you don’t really like having me around, spending time with you and Holden makes me happier than I’ve been in years,” he said quietly, biting his lip and looking down at his shoes, not able to meet the older lad’s eyes. “I haven’t really felt much of anything since we uh, you know broke up and I just, I dunno it’s nice having you back in my life, even if you don’t want me in yours…”

Louis felt his breathing come up short as he kept his eyes locked on Harry, and he couldn’t even say anything before the younger lad turned to walk out the door. He didn’t know if he wanted to say anything or what to say, but just as Harry opened the front door Louis found his voice.

“Harry wait!” he said, stopping the younger lad in his tracks.

Harry turned around, his head snapping up to look at the blue eyed lad as the door was already cracked open. He saw Louis swallow thickly, looking as if he was internally battling with himself on what to say next.

“It’s not… I mean, it’s not that I don’t like having you around,” Louis barely whispered as he bit his lip, that being the opposite of his problems. “It’s just hard seeing you after all these years and not think about…” he trailed off, shaking his head as even now those memories flooded his thoughts.

Harry let out a quiet breath as he shifted his gaze to his shoes and nodded, finding it near impossible himself to stop his mind from racing and playing over the times he and Louis were together. He almost wanted to say that they could get those moments back. That they could start all over again, the two of them and Holden. But it was an impossible thought. Harry knew that Louis didn’t want a life like that with him, and he didn’t blame the older lad.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything,” Louis muttered as he ran a hand through his hair. “It’s getting late and my head's all over the place, I-”

“I’m happy you said it,” Harry cut him off, closing the door so the October cold couldn’t come in and took a step closer to the older lad. “I know you’re scared Lou…” he said, unable to miss the hitch in the blue eyed lad’s breath as the nickname escaped him. “And I kick myself in the arse every single fucking day for making you feel that way, for hurting you the way I did…”

“Harry…” Louis managed to say, his words getting caught in his throat as he looked at the younger lad.

“Louis, please,” Harry said quietly, his eyes pleading as he stepped even closer to him, the older lad not moving an inch. “After not having you for years, and then coming back here… Just please know that I don’t care what I have to do to keep you both in my life. I’ll go through the fires of hell just to make sure I never lose you again,” he said, offering the blue eyed lad a small grin, trying to make him laugh and take away the heaviness in the room.

Louis ducked his head, trying desperately to bite back his smile as he heard the younger lad. Even after all these years he still couldn’t get over the sheer ridiculousness that was Harry Styles.

“I'm happy I can still make you do that,” Harry said softly, his own grin widening as he saw Louis smiling.

Louis rolled his eyes as he shuffled on his feet and finally looked up to meet the younger lad’s bright green eyes. “It’s not like I completely hate you…” he muttered.

“You don’t?” Harry asked with furrowed eyebrows, not believing that.

“I said I don’t completely. Trust me, there’s still a good amount of hate there. Don’t get too excited,” Louis said through a small laugh as he shook his head.

“I’ll take what I can get,” Harry said, a warm smile creeping onto his lips. “But uhm, you said you have papers to grade and I don’t wanna push my luck with you tonight, so I guess I’ll get going,” he said, gesturing towards the door.

Louis hummed and nodded as he bit his lip, following Harry with his eyes as he walked towards the door. “Well bye,” he said quietly, raising his hand and slightly waving to the younger lad. “Tonight was uh, well I had a good time.”

“Me too,” Harry said, offering the older lad a soft smile as he opened the front door. “G’night Lou," and with that and a wink sent to the blue eyed lad he made his way out of the house and to his car.

Louis swallowed thickly as he watched the door close, his body refusing to move when a sudden realization washed over him. “Shit…” he breathed out, rubbing his hands over his face. “Shit not again,” Louis groaned, walking over to the couch and throwing himself on it.

This couldn’t be happening, he couldn’t do this to himself, to his son. Harry left once and he could do it again. He’s only been around for a month, and so far things are going great but Louis knows how fast things can change. He also knows how easily and how quickly he fell for Harry when they first met, and he couldn’t do that again, no matter how hard it seemed.

*~*

Harry ducked his head and shielded his face with his hand, trying to ignore the bright camera lights that blinded him. He figured that paps wouldn’t be allowed outside the record label, but with him being missing for nearly a month he also knew the media was getting more and more desperate to find him.

“Harry where’ve ya been?!”

“Finally pick someone up who wants to stick around with you?!”

“You drink yourself into a month long coma?!”

He ignored all of the screaming men, pushing past them and finally getting to the door, making his way inside the large building.

Harry let out a deep breath as he ran his fingers through the front of his curls, heading to the lift and trying to get to the meeting as quickly as possible. It was impossible not to think about the paps’ questions though. He knew the media portrayed him a certain way, and for years he didn’t care, but now it was different. Now he had Louis and Holden in his life, and Harry didn’t want either of them to think or see him portrayed like that.

“Oh good, Harry you actually decided to show up.”

Harry looked up and saw one the of the record label’s top managers James looking at him with raised eyebrows as he sat in the conference room. “Listen I’m really sorry, but I do have an excuse,” he said softly, taking a seat at the table with the older man.

“It better be a damn good one. Do you have any idea how close Michael is to dropping you?” James asked seriously.

“You and I both know he won’t do that, don’t try to scare me,” Harry said as he shook his head, knowing that he could get any record label he wanted to sign him, and Michael wouldn’t give up his biggest act behind Ed. “But the reason I haven’t been around is because of uhm… Of Louis,” he said quietly.

“You’re kidding me right…? That’s your excuse?” James asked, anger nearly seeping out of him. “The boyfriend who broke your heart years ago? That’s it? What did you two talk or some shit and now he’s back in your life? I mean seriously H, you can’t just run off for a month for some guy and-”

“James,” Harry said firmly, stopping the older man. “Listen… Louis and I… We uhm, we have a son,” he barely whispered, making James freeze in his seat and Harry wasn’t even sure he was even breathing. “He’s 3 and I never knew about him up until last month… That’s why I’ve been gone, because I’m spending time with him and trying to get to know him and everything.”

James just looked at him wide eyed, himself at a loss of what to say as he listened to the curly haired lad. “Harry I’m… I’m so sorry,” he breathed out as he shook his head. “He didn’t tell you or anything? I mean why now?”

“It’s beyond complicated and if you want to go out for beers some time I’ll tell you, but I’m meeting with Ed soon,” Harry said as he brushed his fingers through his hair.

“Oh good, finally some work is getting done,” James said through a quiet laugh, making the curly haired lad roll his eyes. “But is there anything you want us to do media wise about you? Is there a story you want out about this or-”

“No,” Harry said quickly, shaking his head. “No paps, no articles, no nothing until I talk to Louis,” he said sternly, getting a nod from the older man. “If you could though, I want to try to clear up my name up… You know the shit they write about me, and basically none of it’s true… I just want all that cleaned up, and if anything new comes out have a rep deny it quickly.”

“You got it kid,” James said, offering him a soft smile. “I’ll let Michael know and explain what you want and everything. But please, next time you decide to disappear at least pick up your phone once so we know you’re not dead,” he said jokingly.

Harry let out a quiet laugh as he got up from his seat. “Maybe,” he muttered, earning a playful glare from James. “But Ed and I are working on stuff today so I’ll text you later and let you know what we got done.”

“Alright, you boys just gonna be at your place?” James asked as he stood up from his own chair.

“Yeah,” Harry breathed out, pulling his phone out as he felt it vibrate and saw a text from Niall. “Oh uhm, can you also get security outside? The paps were givin me shit as I walked in, I don’t wanna deal with that again,” he said, keeping his eyes on his phone and texting out his reply. “And I just got a text from my mate reminding me that I’m supposed to talk to his music class, so I’m actually gonna take Ed over to the school and then we’ll go back to mine.”

“You want a bodyguard with you?” James asked as he looked at his own phone, sending a message to security to get rid of the paps.

“Nah we’ll be fine,” Harry shrugged, his phone vibrating in his hand again, this time being a text from Louis.

James hummed, telling the younger lad he heard him before looking up from his phone. “What’re you smiling at?” he asked as he saw Harry staring at his phone and texting, smiling so wide his face must’ve hurt.

“Huh?” Harry said, not even hearing James as he looked up from his phone, only to see him smirking at him. “Oh uh, it’s Louis, he sent me a video of Holden doing an improv exercise in class with some of his students,” he said, passing his phone to the older man. “Louis said Holden likes the improv games so much that the days he has his students do them he brings him along instead of dropping him off at daycare,” Harry said, his grin only widening as he saw his son on the video with all the older kids.

“So cute,” James said quietly, his own smile appearing. “He looks like you.”

“I know,” Harry said as he bit his lip, trying to hide the grin that threatened to split his face if it grew anymore.

James looked over to Harry and shook his head as he laughed quietly to himself and handed his phone back to him. “Alright daddio, get out of here and get some work done.”

Harry rolled his eyes as he shoved his phone in his pocket. “I’ll keep you updated on what Ed and I get done,” and with that he waved goodbye to the older man, now needing to pick up Ed and go to the high school.

*~*

“I think that went well, don’t you?” Harry asked as he led Ed down the hall.

“M’not quite sure if the kids were actually listening though. Seemed like they were just staring at us in shock the entire time,” Ed said as he laughed to himself.

“Can ya blame them?” Harry asked through his own chuckle. “I mean when you were in high school how many famous people came to talk to your class?”

Ed hummed, not even able to imagine what those kids were thinking when they saw the two of them walk into the room. Of course they were shocked and a couple kids screamed, but he probably would’ve done the same thing when he was a kid.

“Where are we going? The exits over there,” he said confused, looking over to the younger lad.

“I wanna stop and talk to Louis real quick,” Harry said through a small smile as he turned down the hall, making his way to the blue eyed lad’s room.

“You can’t just text him?” Ed asked, wanting to get to the younger lad’s flat and get some work done.

“Mate I’ll be fast, I promise.”

Ed let out a quiet breath as he nodded to himself, actually a little excited to see Louis after all these years. “Do you guys even text? Like regularly?”

“We started to recently,” Harry said happily. “I wanna say it was Thursday I was over there and I dunno, it was good and things kinda shifted that night,” he said through a soft grin. “So now we text throughout the day and everything, it’s nice.”

Ed looked over to the younger lad and couldn’t help but let out a quiet laugh as he saw him. “You’re so obvious mate, it’s sad.”

Harry rolled his eyes as he shook his head and turned towards Louis’ classroom door. He cracked it open a little, peeking inside, able to see the older lad at the front of his classroom with his glasses perched on his nose and a copy of some Shakespeare book in his hand as he read it to the class.

Harry smiled to himself as he saw Louis in his element, this being what he does best. But instead of creeping by the door he pushed it open a bit more so he could walk in. “Knock knock,” he said quietly, the smile never leaving his face as he walked into the room.

Louis snapped his head up, his eyes immediately landing on Harry and a small grin making its way to his lips. But just as he was about to say his hello’s he saw his class looking at the curly haired lad wide eyed before nearly screaming about how he was there.

“Alright, alright!!” Louis yelled, trying to get them to calm down. “Read where I left off by yourselves or I’ll ask Mr. Styles to leave,” he threatened with raised eyebrows.

And just as fast as he said it did the entire class stop talking. But that was just before a certain ginger haired man came into the room from behind Harry, making them start screaming again.

“Louis!! My God, look at you!” Ed said, rushing towards the younger lad and engulfing him in a hug. “You can grow a full beard now and you’re wearing button ups, what the hell?!”

Louis let out a loud laugh as he hugged Ed back, noticing his entire class looking at him beyond confused. “Life as a teacher, what can I say?” he said, pulling away from the older lad and rubbing a hand over his slight beard, having no time to shave the past couple days.

“You look good mate. If possible even more fit than you did all those years ago,” Ed said through a quiet chuckle as he clapped Louis on the back.

“Hey, mate c’mon back off,” Harry said as he pulled Ed away from Louis and side eyed him. “Can we uh, can we talk for a second?” he asked the blue eyed lad through a small smile.

“Yeah, of course,” Louis said, grinning back at him before looking back to his class who was watching him, seeming more confused and excited by the second. “You guys read by yourselves where we left off, no talking,” he said seriously.

“Yeah, listen to your teacher,” Ed said, eyeing all the kids playfully and standing at the front of the class with his arms crossed over his chest like he was in charge. “No worries Lou, I got’em.”

Louis rolled his eyes as he saw the older lad, his student’s not even looking at their books instead just staring at the ginger man. “C’mere,” he said quietly to Harry, nodding towards his desk.

Harry followed the older lad a few feet to his desk, noticing Holden fast asleep in Louis’ chair. He smiled softly down at his son as Louis took a seat on his desk, letting his feet dangle an inch off the ground.

“Tell me you interrupted my class for something important,” Louis said with raised eyebrows.

“What? I can’t just stop in?” Harry asked through a small laugh as he took a step closer to the older lad.

“Don’t start with me Styles,” Louis said through a playful stern look.

Harry bit his lip, trying to hide his smile as he saw that Louis wasn’t actually upset with him. “I actually wanted to talk to you about dinner tonight,” he said quietly as he shuffled on his feet.

“Oh okay, uhm sure,” Louis said with furrowed eyebrows, noticing the younger lad coming closer to him, almost making it so he was standing between his legs.

“So Ed is coming over to mine so we can work on some stuff and by the time we’re done and the amount of time it takes me to drive to your place I think you guys will already be done with eating,” Harry said as he scratched the back of his neck, not meeting the older lad’s eye.

“Oh… Okay, I get it, it’s fine,” Louis said quietly, his gaze shifting to the floor.

Harry looked to Louis, almost growing confused as he sounded a bit disappointed. “W-well I was going to ask if you and Holden wanted to uhm, maybe you want to come over to mine tonight?” he asked, taking a careful step closer to the older lad.

Louis bit the inside of his cheek as Harry was coming closer and closer to him, the younger lad’s hips nearly between his thighs. He brought up his hand, placing it on Harry’s waist before gently pushing back on him, needing him to back up.

“Yeah, we can definitely do that,” he said with a small smile. “Just text me an address, yeah?”

“Sure,” Harry said, his own grin creeping up on him. “And Lou?”

“Yeah?”

Harry didn’t say anything, but Louis saw how the younger lad looked at him, then down before meeting his eyes again. And Louis only grew more confused as he saw Harry smirking at him, but then he noticed what he was doing.

“Sorry, sorry!” Louis rushed out, pulling his hand away from the curly haired lad’s waist, his cheeks immediately heating up.

“M’not complaining,” Harry shrugged as he laughed to himself and took a small step away from the blue eyed lad, figuring he should let him get back to class. “I’ll text you later.”

Louis swallowed thickly as he nodded and watched as Harry walked over to Holden who was sleeping in his chair, the younger lad kissing his hair gently before looking back at him and sending him a wink.

“C’mon mate, let’s go get some work done,” Harry said, clapping Ed on the back. “Listen to your teacher, be good!” he called out to the students as they made their way towards the door, sending Louis a soft smile.

Louis felt like he wasn’t breathing as he watched the two leave his classroom, Ed sending him one more wave before he closed the door behind him. And when he looked back to his student’s every single pair of eyes were on him.

“Well Mr. Tomlinson, I say you have some explaining to do,” one of his student’s, Leila said through a small smirk.

“Did anyone do the reading like I asked?” Louis said as he got off his desk and unbuttoned one of the top buttons of his shirt, feeling like he desperately needed to breathe.

“We were too busy watching as Harry Styles asked you out on a date and you shamelessly flirted with him,” Jason said, raising his eyebrows at his teacher.

“I was not flirting with him,” Louis said as he rolled his eyes. “And he didn’t ask me out on a date.”

“But you’re going over to his place for dinner,” another student, Aaron piped up. “How do you guys even know each other? And what was that with Ed Sheeran? Seriously Mr. Tomlinson how in the world do you-”

“Alright, alright!” Louis said, needing all of them to stop bombarding him with questions. “Harry and I- no, I mean Mr. Styles and I knew each other a long time ago before he became famous and when he did get famous we both met Mr. Sheeran and the rest is history,” he summed up as quickly and easily as possible. “No more questions, accusations, or talking about this.”

The class was quiet for only a mere second before every single student was talking, each of them asking questions and growing more confused as they looked at their teacher. And all Louis could do was rub a hand over his face, unbutton his shirt a little more so he could breathe and let his student’s attack him with questions.

*~*

“Daddy where we going?” Holden asked as he looked around confused, never seeing this building before.

“Remember I told you we’re going over to Harry’s for dinner tonight?” Louis asked with raised eyebrows as he squeezed his son’s hand gently and led them to the front desk.

“Harry’s house!!” Holden said excitedly, jumping where he was walking.

“That’s right buddy, we’re going to Harry’s house,” Louis said through a quiet laugh as he rolled his eyes fondly. And when he got up to the front desk he waited for the older man to look at him before doing what Harry texted him to do. “Uhm hi, I’m Louis Tomlinson. I’m here to see Harry Styles.”

The man looked at him for a second before looking down at a clipboard. “Louis Tomlinson…” he muttered, his eyes scanning down the paper. “Alright, head to the lift, put in the code 1224 and you’ll be taken up to his floor,” the man said, offering him a small grin.

“Thank you,” Louis said, smiling back at him before tugging on Holden’s hand and leading him towards the lift.

“Daddy I put the numbers in!” Holden said as soon as they were in the lift.

“Alright, you remember them?”

“Uhm no,” Holden said as he bit his lip and looked up to his father.

Louis laughed to himself as he shook his head and told the toddler the numbers, watching as his son furrowed his eyebrows and tried to remember what number looked like what. And Louis was pleasantly surprised when he actually got them all right.

He could hear Holden humming to himself as the lift carried them up, the toddler swaying with whatever he was singing and still holding onto his daddy’s fingers. Even when the lift stopped Holden was still humming to himself, and only stopped when his father tugged on him, urging him forward.

Louis looked around confused, thinking he’d find himself in a hallway with multiple flats around him. But instead he was in a living room. A very large and fancy living room at that.

“Uhm… Harry?” he called out, taking a cautious step further into the room and looking around.

“Daddy this Harry’s house?” Holden asked, his eyes scanning around the room.

“I think so buddy,” Louis said quietly, his eyes catching on a hallway. “We just need to find Harry,” he said, tugging on his son again and leading him towards the hall.

As soon as they stepped in the hallway the first thing Louis heard was music. There was heavy guitar sounding from one of the rooms, and at a careful look Louis spotted which door it was coming from.

“Stay quiet buddy,” Louis said softly, putting his finger to his mouth as he didn’t want to interrupt whatever Harry was working on.

Holden nodded as he put his little finger to his lips, telling his daddy he would be quiet as he followed him down the hall and to the cracked open door.

Louis furrowed his eyebrows as they walked closer and closer to the door, peeking inside and seeing Harry with a guitar slung over his shoulder, a microphone in front of him and Ed, both of them wearing headphones. But it what they were playing that really had Louis’ attention. [(X)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRnCAkYgo2I)

He almost forgot how amazing Harry was in his raw form, just him and his guitar. But then you add Ed Sheeran into the mix and it’s something else. The ginger lad’s voice clear and crisp into the microphone, mixing with what Harry was playing made Louis freeze where he was.

He watched as the younger lad strummed the guitar, only to stop for a moment and hit the body of the guitar, making it almost sound like a drum before tapping his foot on some machine and having that hit play over and over again on top of what Harry was strumming or picking. And Louis had never seen anything like it.

Harry would hit a different pedal on the machine, somehow making more layers play from his guitar, but it was when the younger lad leaned towards his microphone to sing Louis couldn’t peel his eyes away from him.

**I messed up this time**

**Late last night**

**Drinking to suppress devotion**

**With fingers intertwined**

**I can't shake this feeling now**

**We're going through the motions**

**Hoping you'd stop**

**And though I've only caused you pain**

**I know but all of my words will always below**

**Of all the love you spoke**

**When you're on my road**

**Walking me home**

**Home, home, home, home**

 

And after that piece if possible there was even more guitar as Harry tapped another pedal with his foot, both him and Ed going into the chorus, and Louis couldn’t do anything but just watch.

He may have seemed like he was just creeping on the two, the door only cracked open a bit so he could just barely see them, but what they were playing was too good to interrupt. And Holden must have thought so as well as he was behind his daddy’s legs, watching the two just as intensely as his father.

But when it was over, after the loud middle, and moving off into the quiet finish Holden didn’t want a second before rushing past his daddy, pushing the door open and running towards the curly haired man.

“Harry!!” he shrieked. “You play so good!!”

Harry snapped his head up, a smile immediately making it’s way to his face as he pulled off his guitar and opened his arms for the toddler. “My boy, when did you get here?” he asked, scooping the 3 year old up and giving him a sloppy kiss on his cheek.

“Couple minute ago, daddy want to listen to you play. He say to be quiet,” Holden said, bringing up his little finger to his lips.

“Oh he did, did he?” Harry asked through a small smile as he raised his eyebrows and turned to look at the older lad who shuffled in after his son.

“Well you know I uhm, I didn’t want to interrupt you guys or anything,” Louis said as he bit his lip and scratched the back of his neck awkwardly.

Harry hummed as he nodded to himself and looked back to Holden. “You wanna meet a very good friend of mine?” he asked the toddler.

“Harry I know you friend! He name Ed!” Holden said excitedly, jumping in the curly haired lad’s arms as he pointed to the ginger man.

“And how do you know him?” Harry asked confused as he looked between Holden and his best mate, Ed nearly glowing as he heard that the toddler knew him.

“He daddy’s favorite music person!” Holden said happily, waving to Ed and getting a wide grin back from the older man.

“I always knew he liked me more than you,” Ed said through a quiet laugh as he winked at Harry and walked over to Louis to drape his arm over his shoulders.

Harry rolled his eyes as he shifted his eyes to Holden, ignoring Louis’ small blush as Ed pulled him into his side.

“You know he still writes songs about you,” Ed said through a quiet snicker, making the blue eyed lad turn that much more red.

“Alright, you’re leaving!” Harry rushed out placing Holden down and taking Ed’s arm off of Louis.

“What? You’re not going to ask me to stay for dinner?” Ed asked through a small pout. “I’m sure Lou would love me to stay,” he said, turning to the older lad and smiling at him.

“No,” Harry said, grabbing Ed’s chin and making the ginger man face him again. “Good work today, I’ll text you later.”

“Alright, alright, geez,” Ed said through a quiet laugh, putting his hands up in defeat. “Bye Lou, it was good seeing you again,” he said, wrapping the younger lad in a hug and patting his back. “And Holden it was very nice to meet you. Maybe next time you and I can hang out a little longer, yeah?”

“Okay!” Holden said happily, seeing as the man raised his hand for a high five and gave him one.

Ed smiled down at the toddler before looking up at Harry and noticing his best mate already watching him. “I’ll see ya later H,” he said, a small laugh escaping him, the younger lad looking at him like he did all those years ago when he got jealous.

Harry hummed as he watched Ed leave, only then releasing a small breath and looking back to Louis, about to say something before a little voice spoke up.

“Harry my name H, not you,” Holden said confused as he walked towards the older man, tugging on his shirt, wanting to be picked up.

“Well both our names start with an H, and sometimes people call me that too,” Harry explained as he picked up the toddler and rested him on his hip.

Holden’s mouth made an ‘o’ shape as he nodded to himself and wrapped an arm around the older man’s neck.

Harry rolled his eyes playfully, never able to get over how cute Holden was. But then he remembered that these two were here for a reason. “Oh so uhm I ordered dinner, I hope you don’t mind.”

“You don’t cook anymore?” Louis asked, his eyes scanning over the room, it almost replicating a music studio with different instruments all around. “I remember you being quite good,” he said, looking back to the younger lad.

“Uhm no, I don’t really cook anymore,” Harry said quietly as he bit his lip, the last meal he made being for the blue eyed lad. “I mean, I wanted to tonight but Ed and I just got so busy I didn’t-”

“It’s fine Harry, relax,” Louis said through a small laugh as he saw the younger lad freaking out a little bit.

Harry let out an airy laugh as he adjusted Holden on his hip, really needing to calm down. “So before it gets here I guess I can show you guys around a bit.”

“Harry what that?” Holden asked, pointing towards the corner of the room.

Harry looked to where Holden was pointing and carried him over so the toddler could get a better look. “This is my drumset. What do you think? Pretty cool huh?” he asked through a small smile, tapping one of the symbols with his fingers and making it ring.

“Since when do you play drums?” Louis asked, taking his eyes off the wall of guitars the younger lad had and to the drumset.

“I learned a few things over the years,” Harry shrugged. “Wanna play a bit big guy?” he asked, looking to Holden and grinning at him.

Holden’s eyes grew wide, his smiled immediately as he frantically nodded. “Yes!!” he said excitedly, wiggling out of Harry’s arms.

Louis looked over to Harry, sending him a small scowl, knowing he was going to get a headache from his son banging on the instrument.

“Hang on buddy, let’s put these on,” Harry said, walking over to a box, grabbing a pair of small headphones and putting them on the toddler. “Don’t wanna hurt those ears.”

“Do you just have a box of those?” Louis asked with furrowed eyebrows.

“Uhm yeah,” Harry said as he lifted Holden up, sat himself down on the seat in front of the drumset and placed the 3 year old on his lap. “At concerts for some reason parents don’t realize it’s going to be loud so I always buy a bunch of them and hand them to security so they can give them to the kids without headphones.”

Louis raised his eyebrows as he heard that, but then again the more he thought about it that was definitely a Harry thing to do.

“Harry,” Holden groaned from the curly haired man’s lap, getting impatient. “Play,” he whined

“Alright alright,” Harry said through a quiet laugh as he adjusted Holden on his lap, putting one foot on the bass drum, the other on the high hat pedal and grabbed his drum sticks. “Here you are buddy, you hold these and I’m gonna help alright?”

Holden nodded as Harry gave him the drumsticks, but then the older man wrapped his much larger hands over his little ones.

“Ready?” Harry asked with raised eyebrows as he had Holden’s hands in his, and when the 3 year old said a very loud and excited “yes!!” Harry couldn’t help but roll his eyes fondly.

Louis watched the two, Harry carefully making Holden hit the drums and simple beat come from the instrument. But even if it was simple the toddler’s smile was impossible to miss as the curly haired lad moved his arms one place and then to another, hitting a symbol and then a drum before moving them back again.

Holden was laughing and smiling and that’s all Louis really cared about. But his eyes also caught Harry, the younger lad smiling just as much as the toddler, and at that sight no matter what Louis did he couldn’t fight off his own blinding grin.

When the two were done though Holden was out of breath from laughing so much and Harry was tired from making the toddler’s arms move all over the place.

Louis picked up his breathless and giggling son off of the younger lad and followed him as he showed them around his flat. [(A/N Harry's Flat)](http://www.luxuryestate.com/p16080161-apartment-for-sale-london)

Harry pointed out simple things, where the bathroom was, his room, he led them into the living room and dining room, their final stop being the outside balcony that overlooked the lit up city and river. And to say Louis was more than impressed would be a huge understatement.

This place clearly cost a fortune, it being an entire floor of a building, but it also just looked luxurious. There were things that Louis could easily pinpoint what Harry decorated and what he hadn’t, the younger lad’s personality shown in different places throughout the flat.

But after being shown around, Holden running from one room to the next they made it back into the kitchen, Louis noticing bags of food that weren’t there before.

“Oh good, Roy must’ve brought it up,” Harry said happily as he reached into the first bag and pulled out a container. “Holden I hope you like pasta with sauce,” he said, smiling down at the toddler as he wrapped his arms around his leg.

“I do!” Holden said excitedly as he tugged on the older man’s leg.

Harry’s grin widened, knowing that behind mac and cheese and his daddy’s famous chicken soup, pasta and sauce was the toddler’s favorite. “C’mon buddy, let’s take a seat at the table.”

Louis grabbed the bags from the counter and followed Harry to the table, and just as he did that he remembered something. “Harry I’m so sorry I forgot his booster seat,” he said almost wanting to hit himself for not thinking about this. “Do you have like books or something he can sit on?”

“It’s fine, I got one at the store today,” Harry said, already placing his newly bought booster seat on a chair for Holden and getting the toddler situated on it.

Louis placed the bag of food down on the table and looked at the younger lad surprised, not expecting him to think about little things like that.

“Here Lou I got your favorite,” Harry said once he was done cutting up Holden’s pasta and made sure the 3 year old was okay before getting everything else out of the bags. “You alright? You know you can sit,” he said through a quiet laugh as he noticed Louis just watching him.

“Right, right,” Louis said quietly as he bit his lip and took a seat next to Holden, noticing his son was already shoving pasta in his mouth. “Good H?” he asked as he chuckled to himself and accepted the plate Harry was offering him.

Holden nodded quickly, his mouth so full he couldn’t talk. “This so good!!” he said happily before taking another bite.

“I’m glad you like it buddy,” Harry said through a small smile as he set the bread, butter and salad on the table as well before pulling out his own food. “Any drinks I can get you guys?”

“Milk for him please,” Louis said as he offered the younger lad a soft grin and twirled some of his pasta on his fork.

“Sure,” Harry said, his eyes scanning over the table, making sure they had everything. “You want wine or something Lou? I have a white that’ll go good with that.”

Louis looked down at his plate, thinking that a glass or two couldn’t hurt him. Plus it would go really well with his alfredo. “That’d be great, thanks,” he said before taking a bite of his food, only having to hold back a groan at how good it was. “Harry where’d you get this?”

Harry laughed to himself as he heard the older lad talk with his mouth full, and then proceed to take another bite. “It’s from Peter’s,” he said, grabbing Louis and Holden their drinks before grabbing a beer for himself. “Normally they don’t deliver but they can make exceptions.”

“Yeah, exceptions for the rich and famous,” Louis said teasingly as he rolled his eyes.

“Hang out with me long enough and you’ll get some of the perks too,” Harry said, coming back over to the table and setting the drinks down. He brushed his fingers through Holden’s feathery hair as he walked past him and noticed the toddler was nearly halfway done with his food already. “Geez buddy, you get any food in your mouth, it’s all over your face,” he said through a small laugh as he picked up a napkin and wiped the toddler’s sauce covered face.

“I like dinner at Harry’s house,” Holden said as he nodded to himself and took another bite of food.

Harry smiled happily to himself as he heard the 3 year old and took a swig of his beer. He would love for Holden and Louis to come over more, maybe have it so half the week they have dinner at the older lad’s and the other half of the week here. It’d definitely give some life to the otherwise empty, quiet and cold flat.

“This really is great Harry, thank you,” Louis said before sipping at his wine and picking up his fork again. “It’s nice to have a night off of cooking.”

“Anytime,” Harry said quiet through a small grin. “Next time I’ll actually cook though,” he said, earning a chuckle from the older lad.

“Daddy!!” Holden said suddenly, remembering something.

“What big guy?” Louis asked, taking another bite of food.

“Miss Hollie say I need picture of you for my project,” he said before carefully picking up his milk with both hands.

Louis furrowed his eyebrows, not knowing he was doing a project at daycare. “What kind of project?”

“A family project,” Holden said smacking his lips together once he finished his drink. “Everyone bring a picture of mummy and daddy and we say nice things.”

Louis felt himself still for a moment before swallowing thickly and slowly picking his head up to look at Harry across from him. The younger lad was already looking back at him though, his face falling as he heard the toddler.

“But I tell miss Hollie I only have a daddy and she say that okay,” Holden said quietly before reaching for a piece of bread.

“Of course that’s okay buddy. Some kids just have one parent, it’s alright,” Louis said softly, but it wasn’t even a second later he heard a chair push back harshly and watch as Harry he got up from the table.

“Just gonna grab another one,” Harry breathed out as he held up his empty beer bottle and started walking towards the kitchen.

“Harry…” Louis barely whispered, grabbing the younger lad’s wrist as he walked past him.

Harry shook his head as he pulled his arm out of Louis’ grip. “I’ll be right back,” he said so quietly he wasn’t sure if Louis heard him before he walked into the kitchen.

Louis opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out. Harry was already out of the room and Louis felt his heart drop as he saw the younger lad’s face.

He ran his fingers through his hair and let out a deep breath, trying to think of what to do. It wasn’t that he never wanted Holden to know that Harry was his father, to Louis it was just too early. The younger lad has only been around for a month, and even though it’s been a good month it wasn’t enough to convince Louis that he was here to stay, that he wouldn’t hurt Holden.

“Daddy put butter on this please,” Holden said, passing his father a piece of bread.

Louis turned around to peer into the kitchen quickly, seeing Harry lean against the counter, rubbing a hand over his face while the other held a fresh beer. “Sure buddy,” he said quietly, taking the bread from his son and doing as he asked.

“Where Harry go? He need to eat,” Holden said, noticing the older man’s disappearance.

“He’ll be back in a second, it’s alright,” Louis breathed out, passing the bread back to the 3 year old.

Holden nodded happily, taking what his daddy was passing him before taking a bite of it.

“Look at you big guy, you’re almost making me nervous I didn’t get enough food,” Harry said through a small laugh as he came back into the room, kissing the toddler’s head as he walked past him.

“Dinner at Harry’s house very good,” Holden said, nodding to himself before taking another bite of his bread.

Harry looked over to Holden, offering him a soft smile before he picked up his fork and continued eating. And as he ate it was impossible not to feel Louis’ eyes on him. If that wasn’t enough though the older lad would occasionally tap his foot on Harry’s wanting him to look at him, the younger lad refused to pick his head up.

“Okay I full,” Holden groaned as he placed his little hands over his belly and leaned back against his chair. “But I still want treats,” he mumbled.

“Alright buddy,” Louis said through a small laugh as he finished up his own plate. “Why don’t you go use the potty before we get treats through?” he suggested.

Holden nodded and hopped down from his chair before sluggishly walking out of the room.

Louis watched as his son shuffled out of the room before letting out a deep breath and focusing his gaze back on Harry.

“You done?” Harry asked, already standing up and picking up his and Holden’s plates.

“Harry...” Louis said, wanting to actually talk about this.

Harry hummed as he cleared off the table and started walking towards the kitchen to put the dishes in the sink.

“Listen I know you’re hurt about what I said but-”

“How long is it gonna take Louis?” Harry asked, abruptly turning around and looking to the older lad. “6 months? A year maybe before you tell him?” he asked with a touch of anger in his voice.

“Harry we were together for over a year and you left like it was no problem,” Louis said, narrowing his eyes at the younger lad. “Who says the same thing won’t happen again after a year? How am I supposed to trust you? How do I know you won’t hurt him?”

“Don’t put that on me Louis,” Harry said as he shook his head frustratedly. “You know why I left, you know if you told me about him in the first place I wouldn’t have left at all.”

Louis rubbed a hand over his face as he began walking around the kitchen, needing to calm down. “Just gimme a little time alright?” he asked quietly. “You need to understand the position I’m in, and you need to respect my decisions. It’s been a month and you’ve been great with him, but give me a little bit.”

Harry stood there silent for a second before letting out a small breath and nodding. He understood where the older lad was coming from, but at the same time it hurt that his own son didn’t know who he really was, that the toddler just thought of him as one of his daddy’s mates. Just as he was about to say something though, both he and Louis snapped their heads up at hearing a piano ringing through the flat.

“H?” Louis called out, quickly walking out of the kitchen and towards the music room with Harry following close behind him.

The sound didn’t stop though, almost sounding like someone was hitting random keys on the instrument. And when they got to the music room that’s exactly what they walked in to, Holden slamming his little hands on the piano and kicking his legs excitedly as he sat on the bench.

“What’re you doin buddy?” Harry asked through a quiet laugh as he walked up behind the toddler and wrapped his arms around him.

Holden giggled as he felt the curly haired man’s arms around him. “I play music like you!!”

“Oh is that what that was?” Harry asked teasingly as he took a seat next to Holden on the bench.

Holden crossed his arms over his chest and narrowed his eyes at Harry before lightly hitting his arm.

“I’m just kidding big guy, what you played was very nice,” Harry said softly as he leaned over and pressed a gentle kiss to the 3 year old’s head.

Holden hummed happily to himself as he looked up to the older man. “You play,” he said, grabbing Harry’s hands and placing them on the keys.

Harry raised his eyebrows at the toddler before glancing over his shoulder to Louis and seeing the older lad shrug as he offered him a small smile. So he turned back to the piano, sitting there for a moment before thinking of what to play, and within a second it hit him. A song he hasn’t sung in years, one that was on his very first album, and one of the very first songs he wrote for Louis.

He placed his hands where they needed to go, letting out a quiet breath before he let his fingers go, them moving effortlessly over the keys. And when he opened his mouth to sing it was impossible not to feel the older lad’s eyes on him. [(X)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jNBmoj32pq4)

**When the rain is blowing in your face,**

**And the whole world is on your case,**

**I could offer you a warm embrace,**

**To make you feel my love**

**When the evening shadows and the stars appear,**

**And there's no one there to dry your tears,**

**I could hold you for a million years,**

**To make you feel my love**

He heard Louis’ breath hitch as he played, but instead of looking to the blue eyed lad he focused on what he was doing. He could remember playing this song for the first time like it like it was yesterday. Back to the days when he used to play in bars, when only a few handful of people knew who he was. So much has changed over the past couple years, but there was one thing that has always been a constant. The way Harry felt about the older lad, how much he meant every word he sang.

**I know you haven't made your mind up yet,**

**But I would never do you wrong**

**I've known it from the moment that we met,**

**No doubt in my mind where you belong**

And just like all those years ago the room was silent except for the piano and Harry’s voice ringing through the room. Holden’s eyes locked on the older man’s hands as he played, scootching closer to him and resting his head on Harry’s shoulder as he listened. And as Harry played it was impossible to fight off his smile, looking down at his son next to him and singing these words that if possible meant more to him now than they did all those years ago.

When he got towards the end though that’s when he felt the room get heavy, when he realized the promises he made to Louis before they started dating, before they fell in love. And he couldn’t help but swallow thickly at just the thought of how he had broken all those promises, thought about how much he hurt the older lad.

**I could make you happy,**

**Make your dreams come true,**

**Nothing that I wouldn't do**

**Go to the ends of the Earth for you,**

**To make you feel my love**

**To make you feel my love**

He let the last note ring out, let it echo through the room as he slowly pulled his foot off the pedal of the piano and sat there still on the bench with Holden’s head still resting on him. But when he heard a sniffle both him and Holden quickly turned around, only to see Louis trying to wipe his tears stained cheeks.

“You sad daddy?” Holden asked, quickly hopping off the piano bench and rushing towards his father to give him a hug.

Louis sucked in a quick breath, trying to keep himself together as he shook his head. “No buddy, I’m not sad it’s okay,” he said quietly as he wiped his eyes and knelt down to the toddler’s height. “Daddy was just thinking about something, that’s it.”

Harry bit his lip as Louis looked over to him, no doubt in his mind that they were thinking the same thing, remembering the time they were together all those years ago.

“I no like it when you cry daddy,” Holden said softly, bringing up his little hand and cupping his father’s cheek.

“I know I’ve been crying a lot lately huh?” Louis asked through a quiet laugh as he sniffled to himself. “I’m like a big ole baby.”

“So you no sad?” Holden asked carefully.

“No, it’s alright,” Louis said, offering the 3 year old a small smile before kissing his cheek. “Some things just remind daddy of the past, that’s all.”

Holden nodded slowly before wrapping his arms around his father’s neck and hugging him tightly, knowing his daddy’s hugs always cheered him up when he was sad. “Come on daddy we watch movie and that make you happy again. You pick this time.”

“Thanks big guy,” Louis said through a quiet laugh as he hugged his son back and kissed his him one last time.

Holden grinned at his daddy before walking over to Harry and taking his hand. “Movie time,” he said, tugging on the older man and leading him towards the door before grabbing his daddy’s hand with his free hand and pulling the two out to the living room.

Harry kept glancing at Louis as he followed the toddler down the hall, his heart feeling like it fell into his stomach at the sight of him. It seemed like everytime him and the older lad were getting better he had to do something to screw it up again.

“Harry you have treats?” Holden asked as he climbed on the couch and got himself comfortable.

“Uhm yeah buddy, gimme a minute to get it alright?” Harry asked, already on his way to the kitchen.

“I’ll help.”

Harry looked up and caught Louis’ eyes, the older lad nodding towards the kitchen, wanting to talk to him. So Harry nodded back at him before following the older lad and as soon as they were out of Holden’s ear shot he spoke up.

“Louis I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-”

“Shut up,” Louis said as he shook his head, knowing Harry would ramble on and on about how sorry he was if he didn’t stop him. “It’s fine that you played it, but I mean maybe next time you can play any other song you’ve written that wasn’t on your first album,” he said through a quiet laugh. “I don’t need to keep hearing the same songs that made me fall in love with you, I can live without that.”

Harry felt his breath come up short as he heard the older lad, and could barely feel himself nodding as he looked at him. “Sure,” he barely whispered.

“Good,” Louis said as he nodded to himself. “Might wanna hurry with those snacks or you’ll have a whining toddler in a few minutes,” he said before patting Harry on the shoulder and walking out of the kitchen.

Harry couldn’t even move as he watched Louis leave the room. There were so many things running through his head, his thoughts racing a mile a minute but like the older lad had warned it wasn’t that long before he heard a loud “Harry! Treats!!” yelled from the living room.

So he hurried with the snacks and carried them out to the living room before turning out the lights and joining the two Tomlinsons on the couch for a movie.

Harry had a few kids movies out on the coffee table already that he picked up at the store today and thankfully Holden chose one of those instead of rummaging through his DVD collection. But like how most movie nights went the toddler was fast asleep halfway through the movie, his snacks gone and quiet snores escaping him. Instead of leaning against his daddy’s arm though he was in Harry’s lap, the 3 year old cuddled up against the older man’s chest. And to Harry’s surprise even when Louis saw that he was asleep he stayed.

The older lad kept his place on the couch next to the curly haired lad, watching the movie and glancing at his son every few a minutes, a fond smile making it’s way to his face as he did so.

Throughout the movie though Louis’ phone kept ringing, over and over again and each time the older lad ignored the caller. Harry would send him questioningly looks, but Louis would just shake his head before letting out a deep breath and focusing back on the film.

It was only when the credits were rolling did Harry ask him about it.

“Who was calling?” he asked quietly, not wanting to wake Holden up.

Louis bit his lip as he looked down at his phone, too many messages and voicemails to count showing up on the screen. “Liam,” he muttered.

“You haven’t talked to him at all?” Harry asked a bit surprised.

“Nope,” Louis said, popping the ‘p’ as he shoved his phone into his pocket. “He calls and texts me all the time but I don’t even know what I would say to him…”

Harry nodded, knowing that he wouldn’t even talk to Liam but hit him again. That was just him though. “Well are you going to talk to him?”

“I think after musical auditions on Friday I will,” Louis said quietly as he ran his fingers through his hair. “I know any excuse he has won’t be good enough, but he is my best mate…”

Harry hummed as he gently rubbed Holden’s back, the toddler squirming in his arms for a second before getting comfortable again and plopping his thumb in his mouth so he could suck on it. “So no dinner on Friday then?”

“I don’t think so, I’m sorry,” Louis said as he bit his lip and looked over to the younger lad. “I’ll probably go out to dinner with Liam and have Zayn watch Holden after he picks him up from daycare.”

“Well I can do it.”

“What?” Louis asked with furrowed eyebrows.

“I can watch Holden,” Harry said like it was obvious. “Like I can pick him up from daycare and we can come back here and hang out.”

Louis opened and closed his mouth, never giving much thought to Holden and Harry being alone. “M’not so sure about that…”

“Louis c’mon,” Harry said as he looked over at the older lad. “I mean I think at this point you know it’ll be okay if we’re alone together.”

“Well what’re you gonna do with him? And what if he has a tantrum, you’ve never handled one of those. Also you’re never around kids and I just don’t know if-”

“Louis,” Harry said, stopping him. “You’ve watched me be with him for a month, you know we’re just gonna play games, watch a little tv, maybe play some instruments, color a bit, play action figures, whatever,” he said, knowing there were countless things he and Holden could do. “As for a tantrum if he has one let me experience it, let me figure out how to handle it and be a real parent.”

Louis let out a quiet breath as he thought about it and looked to his son in Harry’s arms. It was like his mind was trying to come up with reasons as to why he shouldn’t let the younger lad watch Holden, but he came up empty.

“Alright, yeah you can watch him on Friday,” he said quietly. “But Harry I swear to God if anything happens I will kill you,” Louis said seriously. “You can be world famous, I don’t give a shit, you’ll be dead if I find out something happened.”

“Fair deal,” Harry said through a soft smile before looking at Holden in his arms.

And even when he carried the toddler down to Louis’ car and said goodnight to the older lad he was unable to wipe the smile off his face.

All I Want Playlist

 

 

 

[Let Me Love You](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_eTytNgcYOk) [Ne-Yo-Glee Version](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_eTytNgcYOk) 3:38

[Leave Your Lover](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M8pK3KBwC84) [Sam Smith](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M8pK3KBwC84) 3:26

[The Otherside](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l4Lt4zlCb-M) [Taylor Ward](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l4Lt4zlCb-M) 2:58

[Give Your Heart A Break](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XKiUcTvr-TQ) [Glee Version](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XKiUcTvr-TQ) 3:29

[Friends](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Myaod6GC4U) [Ed Sheeran](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Myaod6GC4U) 3:09

[Make You Feel My Love](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jNBmoj32pq4) [Adele](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jNBmoj32pq4) 3:15

[Tonight](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k-6WAexAPP4) [John Legend Ft. Ludacris](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k-6WAexAPP4) 3:57

[Sometime Around Midnight](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m53cWa-CdUg) [The Airborne Toxic Event](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m53cWa-CdUg) 5:03

[Kiss Me](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MXL8BEPl-Nw) [Ed Sheeran](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MXL8BEPl-Nw) 4:35

[Infinity](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QaY1ezWUhi0) [One Direction- Slow Mode](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QaY1ezWUhi0%20%0A%0A) 5:24

[I’m Gonna Find Another You](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2EZWzq6kXVc) [John Mayer](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2EZWzq6kXVc) 2:43

[Comfortable](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BroiKmNGbfI) [John Mayer](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BroiKmNGbfI) 5:02

[Where Do Broken Heart Go](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6QpPMbzVqic) [One Direction](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6QpPMbzVqic) 3:45

[No Good in Goodbye](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZRNTOabGsDk) [The Script](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZRNTOabGsDk) 3:58

[More Time](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cnGFGkP5Enw) [Needtobreath](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cnGFGkP5Enw) 4:22

Shattered O.A.R 3:57

I’m A Mess Ed Sheeran 4:08

[I Almost Do](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ij1xADeobsg) [Taylor Swift](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ij1xADeobsg) 3:59

[Code by Layouttesst](http://layouttesst.livejournal.com/profile)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for this chapter taking a little longer, I was swamped this week !! Hope it was worth the wait ! And if you guys hadn't noticed at the end of each chapter there is a playlist, you can click on the songs and it'll bring you right to the link. I'll be updatng it almost every chapter :) Leave comments, give kudos if you haven't, thanks !!


	6. Chapter 6

Harry's eyes dashed from his rear view mirror and back to the road, letting out a deep breath as he pulled behind the restaurant and parked his car. Before he got out though he did one more scan, making sure no one was around and carefully getting out of his car. And thankfully enough when he got to the back entrance on the building no one had seen him.

Harry made his way through the kitchen, smiling at some of the cooks and waiters that were back there before actually making it to the main dining area, easily finding his best mate.

"I am so sorry I'm late," he breathed out as he took a seat across from the Irish lad. "I swear for once I was going to be early but on my way here fans recognized my car and it was impossible to get them to stop following me."

"It's fine," Niall waved off. "I still have an hour and a half before my next class," he said, his eyes scanning over the menu.

"What do you normally do with your time?" Harry asked, picking up his own menu to look over.

Niall shrugged as he bit his lip, too many things on the menu he wanted to eat, it was impossible to just pick one. "Uhm I dunno, I'll text you or go over music for the orchestra or band. Sometimes I'll have my lunch and just relax but lately I've been hanging out with Louis and figuring out sheet music for the musical."

"Oh yeah?" Harry asked with raised eyebrows, getting a hum from the older lad. "And what musical did he decide on?"

Niall opened his mouth and just as he was about to answer he stopped himself, a small smirk forming on his lips as he looked at his best mate. "Nice try, but I know Louis is keeping it a secret from you."

"Come on," Harry groaned, Louis having picked out what the musical was going to be a while ago but refused to tell him. "Why is he doing this me?"

"To be honest I don't know why he isn't telling you," Niall said through a quiet laugh. "But c'mon it's kinda cute. He's playing games with you like he used to when you guys were dating."

Harry bit his lip, trying to hide his small smile as he thought back to all the times Louis would hide his things from him in the flat or plan something like a nice dinner or night out without telling him what exactly it was they were going to be doing.

"And speak of the devil," Niall said, looking over at the curly haired lad's phone as it vibrated on the table. "What'd he say?"

"Just reminding me what time to get Holden from daycare and the address," Harry said as he typed out his reply.

Niall hummed as a waiter came up and he ordered them each a beer before the man walked away again. "Do you guys ever text or talk about things not Holden related?"

“Yeah sometimes,” Harry shrugged before putting his phone back on the table. “It’s all small talk, but it’s better than nothing.”

“Well you’ve definitely been happier this past month than I’ve seen you in years, that’s for sure,” Niall said, sending the younger lad a small smile.

“I am,” Harry said softly as he nodded to himself and tried to bite back his grin. “It’s still crazy though… I mean a month ago I found out I was a father…”

“And you’ve been doing a hell of a job Haz, and Louis sees it too. Ya know, that’s why he’s letting you watch Holden by yourself today,” Niall said as he reached for a piece of bread in the basket on the table.

“After I had to nearly beg him to let me watch him, yeah,” Harry breathed out as he combed his fingers through his hair. “I mean sometimes I wonder if he’ll ever tell Holden I’m his dad.”

Niall’s face fell as he heard the younger lad and let out a quiet breath. “Of course he will H…” he said softly. “You have to remember the position Louis’ in and that he’s scared, give him a little bit. It’s gonna take longer than a month to forgive you for being gone for over 4 years.”

Harry nodded as he bit his lip and saw a beer placed in front of him, wasting no time before picking it up and taking a swig. “It’s just hard…” he said quietly. “Like Louis is always referring to him as his son, his boy, and every time he says stuff like that it hurts.”

“But you know he’s yours too Harry and I think that’s what matters,” Niall said, taking a sip of his own beer. “I mean just be grateful Louis even lets you see him after everything he’s been through, and you and Holden are getting so close, just think about that for now, yeah?”

“Yeah… Yeah, you’re right,” Harry breathed out before picking up his drink again. “Tonight’s the night though, some me and little H time,” he said through a quiet laugh.

Niall couldn’t help the small smile that came to him as he saw his best mate light up at just thinking about tonight. “Got big plans with him?”

“Ya know we’re just gonna play and hang out,” Harry said through his own soft grin. “Make some dinner and probably pop in a movie.”

“So weird seeing you as a dad,” Niall said as he flagged down their waiter, wanting to order his food. “It’s a good weird though.”

Harry rolled his eyes and laughed to himself as he gave his order to the waiter after Niall and thanked the man before he walked away.

Niall watched as the waiter left the table before looking back to his best mate, and even just sitting here like this he was reminded of Harry all those years ago. The Harry that was full of life, always smiling and happy. The Harry that he’s been missing for so long.

“It’s good to have you back mate…” he said quietly, his eyes shifting to the table.

Harry bit his lip as he focused on his best mate and slowly nodded. He knows for the past couple years he hasn’t been there for Niall. That going out and drinking until he couldn’t see straight has been consuming his life ever since he and Louis broke up. And Harry was surprised that the Irish lad hadn’t left, that he has always been there for him no matter what. Especially now more than ever Harry was grateful to have his best mate.

“It’s good to be back.”

*~*

“Uhm excuse me?” Harry asked a bit frazzled as he walked up to a sales person.

“Y-you, b-but you’re-”

“Yeah, hi,” Harry said through a quiet laugh as he saw the shocked young man.

“W-what can I help you with sir?” he stuttered out, trying to regain his composure.

Harry let out a deep breath as he looked around the aisle, trying to figure out what to get. “I need help with a car seat, like for a toddler.”

“Okay well we uhm, we have a couple choices here,” the boy said, gesturing to the wall of options.

“Right yeah but I don’t really know what to get,” Harry said as he scratched the back of his neck sheepishly. “He’s 3 and I want it to be really safe, but it also has to fit in my car.”

“What kind of car do you have?” he asked with furrowed eyebrows, already scanning over the wall of car seat options.

“Well I have a Range Rover but me being an idiot today of all days I took out my Porsche,” Harry said, almost wanting to hit himself for not thinking about this earlier. “It’s a four door, don’t worry, like he’s gonna sit in the back seat,” he said through a quiet laugh as he saw the young man looking at him wide eyed and stuttering to himself. “And you know what, I’m sorry you’re trying to help me and I’m being kind of rude. What’s your name?”

“Mark,” the boy said through a small smile as he shook the curly haired man’s offered hand. “It’s a real pleasure to meet you Mr. Styles.”

“And you,” Harry said, grinning back at him. “I really do appreciate the help, I’m a bit of a mess right now.”

“S’fine,” Mark waved off as he laughed to himself, still not over that this man was in front of him. “But uhm as for a car seat how much room do you have in the back of your car? Some of these can be pretty bulky and with a Porsche there might not be much room and you don’t want the leather to get ruined.”

Harry let out a deep breath, never thinking something like this could be so difficult. It was his own fault for taking out the wrong car today though. “Probably nothing bigger than this one,” he said, pointing to one of the larger car seats. “And I don’t really care about the leather, I can always get that buffed out or replaced.”

“Right,” Mark said, this being Harry Styles after all, of course he could easily do those kinds of things to his £200,000 car. “Well then I say go with this one,” he said, pointing to a simple and comfy looking black and green car seat. “It’s incredibly safe, will fit in your car, hopefully not do any damage to the leather and it has cup holders,” Mark said happily.

“I’m sure he’ll love the cup holder part,” Harry said as he laughed to himself and grabbed the box.

“So is this for a nephew or a mate’s kid or something?” Mark asked with furrowed eyebrows as he followed the curly haired lad to checkout and took the box from him.

Harry bit his lip as he watched Mark adjust the box in his hands, knowing he’d eventually come across this question. “Uhm well no, not quite,” he said quietly.

Mark looked at the older man confused but didn’t say anything else on the matter as they got to checkout and he placed the box down to cash it out. “Is there anything else you’re getting today?”

“No this should be it, thank you,” Harry said, as he let out a deep breath, reminding himself he had to pick up groceries as well for dinner tonight. “Are there like instructions on how to set this thing up?”

“There should be on the box,” Mark said through a quiet laugh. “Will you need help with that too?” he asked, slightly teasingly as the curly haired lad swiped his card.

Harry rolled his eyes playfully as he shook his head and grabbed the box. But before he went anywhere he made sure to take a picture with Mark and sign something for him, thanking him a million times and waving to him as he walked out of the store.

“Alright now let’s see if we can set this up,” Harry muttered to himself as he looked over the box and walked towards his car.

It seemed simple enough, just put the strap through the holes and buckle it from behind. So Harry opened up the back seat and took the car seat out of it’s box before leaning into the car and trying to figure this out. He thought it really shouldn’t be this hard, but just getting the belt through the back of the car seat was a challenge enough.

“Agh fuck!” he said, quickly pulling his hand away as his finger got caught between the seat buckle and it’s holder. But at least as he did that it snapped into place and the car seat was secure, so the minor injury was worth it.

Harry tried to shake the car seat, actually making sure it wouldn’t move and that it was in correctly before deciding he put it in right and smiling proudly to himself. “One point for Styles,” he muttered happily before climbing in the car and roaring the engine to life.

Before Harry got onto the road he made sure to plug in the address of the daycare and mentally and physically prepare himself for the night he was about to have.

He knew Holden was a little ball of energy, one minute going one way and then another. But what was really psyching him out was the fact that for the first time ever he was going to be alone with his son, and he couldn’t mess this up. If something went wrong there was no doubt in his mind that Louis wouldn’t let them ever be alone, at least not for a while, and that was just something Harry couldn’t risk.

So when he pulled up to the daycare 15 minutes later Harry made sure he had everything planned out and that he was prepared for whatever mood Holden was in. He didn’t know if he could handle a cranky toddler, he didn’t know how.

But as he walked towards the small building and walked inside it was easy to find his son, the 3 year old a ball of giggles as he ran around the room, being chased by some other boy. And that was a definite relief to Harry. Not only was Holden in a good mood, but he just loved seeing the toddler so happy.

“Harry!!” Holden shrieked, running at the curly haired man.

“My boy,” Harry said through a wide smile as he knelt down to the 3 year old’s height and wrapped his arms around him. “I missed you so much,” he said before kissing Holden’s head and scooping him up.

“Harry I see you yesterday,” Holden said through a giggle as he wrapped his arms around the older man’s neck.

“And that was too long ago,” Harry said through his own laugh before giving the toddler a sloppy kiss on the cheek, making him let out another giggle and squirm in his arms.

"Who do we have here Holden?"

Harry looked up at the voice, only to see a woman maybe in her 20's smiling at him. It was clear to anyone with eyes that she very well knew who he was, and she wasn't shy about letting her eyes wander over him either. Harry had to admit though, she was quite pretty. But there was only one person he ever looked at a certain way. It's been that way for years and Harry doesn't think that'll ever change, even if he wanted it to.

"Miss Hollie this my Harry!" Holden said happily.

"Oh I'm yours now?" Harry asked with raised eyebrows as he smiled at the 3 year old.

"Well I your boy so you my Harry," Holden explained like that was a stupid question. "Daddy say I go play at you house today!"

"That's right it's you and me tonight," Harry said softly before pressing another kiss to the toddler's head.

"So you're signing him out today then?"

Harry looked back to Hollie and offered her a small smile before nodding. "Yeah do I just have to write in a book or something?" he asked as he shifted Holden on his hip.

"Yeah just name and time in here," Hollie said as he pulled out a binder and passed it to him. "So how do you know Louis?"

Harry set Holden down and told him to get his things as he took the binder from the young girl. "He and I knew each other a couple years back and reconnected a little while ago."

"And you knew each other as in...?" Hollie asked with raised eyebrows.

Harry looked back to Holden to see if he was close, but the toddler was actually talking some girl's ear off as she colored. "We dated for a bit," he said quietly as he signed his name in the book.

"Well are you guys together now?"

And Harry could see where this was going, could tell by the way this girl was looking at him because he's gotten this look too many times before to not know what it means.

"Let's just say I'm not available," he said, trying to let her down easy.

But he wasn't sure he actually did that as it wasn't even a second later Hollie was clearly pouting. Harry wasn't going to dwell on that though, he'd much rather get Holden and get going.

"H come on, say bye to your friends and grab your bag please," Harry said, earning a quick nod from the toddler.

"Wait, before you go could I possibly get a picture? I'm a huge fan," Hollie said through a quiet laugh as she smiled at the curly haired man.

"Uhm, yeah sure," Harry breathed out as he offered her a small grin.

It was impossible not to miss the way Hollie nearly squealed and jumped she was so excited before pulling out her phone and wrapping an arm around Harry's waist.

He did the same to her, placing his hand on her hip and letting her kiss his cheek as she snapped the picture. Of course as soon as he knew she had it he released himself from her grip, but the girl was quick to pull him in for a hug. And Harry hugged her back, trying to be nice as this was one of his fans, it was them that made his career possible after all.

"Harry come on," Holden groaned as he tugged on the older man's shirt, wanting to leave so they could play.

He didn't need to be told twice before letting Hollie go and offering her one more smile. But just as he was about to look to Holden he felt a hand grab his arm.

"Here," Hollie said, handing him a small piece of paper. "Just in case you become available," and with that and a wink she walked away, heading towards the kids to do her job.

Harry looked down at the paper in his hand, having to physically stop himself from rolling his eyes as he threw it in the nearest garbage. "Alright buddy, we finally ready to go?"

"Yes!!" Holden said excitedly, reaching for Harry's hand and tugging him towards the door.

"You have all your toys? No projects you need to bring home or anything?" Harry double checked as he took Holden's backpack from him and let the toddler wrap his hand around his two fingers.

"Harry it fine, let go," Holden groaned, now nearly pulling the older man out the door.

"Alright, alright, geez," Harry said through a quiet laugh as they made their way outside. "So we need to stop by the store really quick to get some things for dinner and then we're going to my house. That all sound okay with you?" he asked as he scooped Holden up, not wanting him to walk in the parking lot.

"Yes!! Harry's house!!" Holden said, nearly jumping in his arms he was so excited.

Harry smiled at the toddler, having to give him a quick kiss because he seriously was the cutest kid, he just couldn't help it. "Here we are buddy, let's get you buckled in," he said as he opened the back door for Holden and let him climb in.

Holden's eyes went wide as he saw the car and let the older man get him in his seat. "Harry this a [space car](https://36.media.tumblr.com/926178ee396a1fabd672d83cec49f523/tumblr_nwasyeJw0H1tqp428o1_540.jpg)," he said softly, still in awe as he looked around.

"It's a space car?" Harry asked, unable to hide his amusement.

"Fancy space car," Holden nodded as he looked to all the buttons and fancy screens in the car.

"Alright big guy, whatever you say," Harry said through a chuckle as he checked, then double checked that Holden was strapped in correctly before making his way to his own seat.

He checked Holden in the rear view mirror, making sure he was okay before taking off towards the road, feeling like he had to drive extra careful because of the special cargo with him today.

“Harry what miss Hollie give you when we leave?” Holden asked asked as he looked at all of the buttons near him and gently ran his hand over them.

“I don’t know buddy, I didn’t look at it.”

“Well one time she do same thing to uncle Zayn,” Holden said, pressing one of the buttons and watching in awe as his window went down. “She give him little piece of paper and he put in his pocket.”

Harry laughed to himself as he glanced at the toddler in his mirror and put up his window before locking all of the buttons so Holden could press what he wanted and not break anything.

“She did to daddy too.”

And that’s what stopped Harry’s laughter, his eyebrows raising and mouth falling open. “Oh yeah?” he asked quietly.

Holden hummed as he nodded to himself and pressed every single button he could, trying to figure out how this space car worked.  “Daddy say that miss Hollie always flirt but I no know what that mean. Everyday uncle Zayn pick me up and he say that miss Hollie like him and want to date him but miss Hollie ask daddy on a date.”

“She did, now did she?” Harry asked, straining himself so he wouldn’t grit his teeth as he said it.  “And did daddy go?”

“No,” Holden said as he shook his head and kicked his little legs in his seat.

Harry let out a deep breath as he nodded to himself, relaxing a bit at that. “Has daddy ever gone on a date?” he asked, his curiosity getting the best of him.

“Well I no know what a date is,” Holden said as he bit his lip. He’s heard his uncle Zayn talk about dates a lot with his daddy but no one ever told him what they were exactly.

“It’s like a uhm… It’s when two people who like each other go out to eat or just spend time together,” Harry tried to explain as easily as possible as he kept his eyes on the road.

“Oh… Well no, I no think daddy go on a date,” Holden said as he shook his head. “Well maybe he go on date with uncle Liam or uncle Zayn.”

Harry laughed quietly to himself, thinking that no, Louis hasn’t gone on any dates. Well at least that makes two of them as he hasn’t either. He couldn’t help but ask himself why Louis never did go out with anyone though. Surely there were people who took an interest in him, it was impossible not to like the older lad.

“Harry you go on dates?” Holden asked with furrowed eyebrows.

“No buddy, I haven’t gone on a date in a long time,” Harry breathed out as he parked the car in front of the supermarket and got out. “Ready big guy?”

“Yes!” Holden cheered excitedly as the older man unbuckled him from his seat and he leapt into his arms. “What we making for dinner Harry?” he asked, placing his little hands in the green eyed lad’s short curls, playing with his hair.

“How do you feel about taco pizza?” Harry asked with raised eyebrows, only to let out a barking laugh a second later at the toddler’s face.

“Harry… No,” Holden said as he shook his head and looked at the curly haired lad like he was crazy. “You no make taco pizza… You can’t.”

“And why can’t I?” Harry asked, trying to keep his laughter in. “Do you still sit in a cart or do you normally walk?” he asked as he looked between the shopping cart and basket, trying to figure out which to use.

“No I walk,” Holden said as he shook his head and wiggled out of Harry’s arms, only to grab his fingers a second later. “And taco and pizza two different dinner, not one,” he said as soon as he had the older man’s hand secure in his.

Harry rolled his eyes playfully as he picked up a basket and led the toddler into the store. “Well I know you like tacos and pizza and if you trust me I’ll show you how they can be good together.”

“I don’t know Harry…” Holden huffed as he shook his head again doubtfully.

“What? You don’t trust me?” Harry asked, trying to ignore the gawking eyes and people who were not so subtly following them.

Holden let out a deep breath as he thought about it and looked up to the older man. “Of course I do Harry, but you crazy.”

Harry bit his lip as he tried to hold in his laugh, the toddler sounding a bit too serious. “You won’t be saying that when you try it.”

“Alright Harry, alright. You make the taco pizza,” Holden breathed out as he put his little hand up in defeat. “But I get to pick out treats,” he stated as his condition.

“Deal,” Harry nodded as he squeezed Holden’s little hand softly and led him through the supermarket.

The two walked through aisles, picking up what they needed to make the taco pizza and as they went along Holden looked at Harry like he was crazier than ever. But Harry knew he would change his mind when he actually tried this.

Those looks did change though when Harry took the toddler to the snack and candy aisle, Holden nearly squealing for joy as he let go of the curly haired lad’s hand and grabbed everything and anything he wanted. Harry was sure his cupboards would be stocked for weeks with nothing but the sugary snacks, but at least now he had a supply for Holden for whenever he came over.

When they were finally done shopping they had everything they needed for their taco pizza and Harry was just grateful that this little outing went without a hitch. He would be terrified if Holden got lost or furious if paps came, but thankfully nothing went wrong.

And when they got to his flat Harry saw that the toddler was actually a bit excited about making the taco pizza. Maybe not eating it, but making it yes.

“Do you know what we need to do first?” Harry asked as he placed all of the groceries on the counter.

Holden shook his head as he got the stool Harry got for him in front of the counter so he could help.

“Let’s wash our hands and then we’ll get started, alright?” Harry said, trying to organize everything and put it in reach so Holden could help out as much as possible. “Do you ever make dinner with daddy?”

“Sometimes,” Holden shrugged as he got back up on his stool and stood next to the curly haired man. “He say I make too big a mess.”

“You make a mess? I don’t believe it,” Harry said as he laughed to himself, remembering how trashed his flat was after the night Louis and Holden came over for dinner.

He doesn’t know how the toddler made such a mess with all of his things, but it seemed like Holden got into everything. Harry really doesn’t know how Louis keeps up with him on a daily basis.

“I know, it crazy,” Holden said as he shook his head, himself not believing that he makes a mess.

Harry rolled his eyes fondly as he looked over the counter and saw that he had everything situated. “Alright big guy so I’m gonna give you this and some flour, and I need you to make it flat in this pan,” he said, handing the toddler some dough and a small bowl of flour.

But just as he did that, Harry thought for a second that flour being a very messy thing isn't something he should be giving to a 3 year old. He was too late though. Holden already having half the bowl on his clothes, in his hair and on his face as he clapped the flour and giggled at how it went everywhere.

“Yeah, I can see why daddy doesn’t let you help,” Harry said through a quiet laugh. “While this is cooking you’re taking a bath.”

“What? No,” Holden whined.

“You should’ve thought of that before you got yourself all dirty,” Harry said as he poked the toddler’s tummy. “Daddy will have my head if I give you back to him all dirty tonight.”

Holden grumbled to himself but nodded anyway as he knew his daddy wouldn’t be happy. “When do I see daddy? Is he coming to eat with us?”

“No buddy, he’s a bit busy tonight,” Harry said quietly as he showed Holden how to stretch out the dough.

“Well what he doing?” Holden asked as he followed Harry’s actions and helped him stretch the dough over the pan.

“He had musical auditions after school and then he’s going to meet up with uncle Liam to talk for a little bit,” Harry said, watching as Holden concentrated on what he was doing before reaching for ingredients to layer on top of the dough.

“Uncle Liam?” Holden asked, stopping what he was doing. “Daddy say he go away for little bit, he back now?”

Harry looked down at the toddler and let out a small breath as he saw that Holden was excited about uncle Liam maybe being back. “I don’t know if he’s back buddy,” he said quietly.

“Oh…” Holden said a bit sadly. “I miss uncle Liam,” he said as he watched Harry spread something on the dough before the older man passed him a bag of cheese.

“I’m sorry big guy,” Harry said, trying to sound sincere.

If he was being honest he couldn’t care less if Liam Payne never came back into his or Louis’ life. But he also knew that Liam was Louis’ best mate, and has been since they were kids. There was history with them and Harry wasn’t sure it could be completely wiped away because of what Liam had done.

“Harry I put the cheese on yet?” Holden asked, already reaching his little hand into the bag.

“Hang on big guy lemme put the meat on and then you can put on the cheese,” Harry said, walking over to the stove and grabbing the taco meat that had been cooking.

Holden nodded and waited for Harry to finish before he put the cheese on, sprinkling it all over their pizza. And maybe as they put more toppings on it didn’t look too bad, but he was never going to admit that to Harry.

“Harry how long this take to cook?” he asked as he watched the older man put it in the oven.

“It’s going to take about 20 minutes, just enough time for you to take a bath,” Harry said, scooping Holden up from his stool, making the toddler let out a barking laugh.

“Harry,” Holden groaned. “I not that dirty.”

“Excuse me mister but as I’m carrying you down the hall you’re leaving a trail of flour behind us,” Harry said through a chuckle as he opened his bathroom door. “No if’s, and’s or but’s, we’re taking a bath,”

Holden let out another groan as Harry placed him down and got the water started, telling him to take off his clothes so he could get it in. So Holden grumbled to himself as he pulled off his clothes, but once they were off he wasn’t getting in the tub.

“...H?” Harry called out as he turned around and didn’t see the toddler. And all he heard as a response was a very loud giggle from the hall. “You’ve got to be kidding me,” he said through a quiet laugh, seeing Holden’s clothes on the floor. “Great, now I have a naked toddler running around my flat,” Harry muttered, unable to wipe the smile off his face as he walked into the hall to find the 3 year old.

“I say no bath!”

Harry perked his head up, if possible his smile growing wider as he saw Holden standing at the end of the hallway. “Would you come here? I’m not chasing you all around.”

“You gon have to! I no want a bath!!” Holden said before he took off running.

Harry rolled his eyes fondly as he followed after Holden, maybe pulling out his phone and starting a video as he began running after the giggling and squealing toddler. “H come on! We need to take a bath!”

“No!!” Holden said firmly as he continued to run away.

“Holden,” Harry said, unable to contain his laughter as he ran behind furniture, trying to get a hold of him. “It wasn’t a question.”

“I still say no!!” Holden said as he laughed to himself and ducked behind a chair in the living room, trying to get away from the older man.

It may have taken Harry another 5 minutes of running around his flat to catch the naked toddler, and when he did Holden was in a fit of giggles. And when they got to the bathroom the tub was completely overfilled, water and bubbles all over the floor, thus giving the 3 year old a reason as to why he shouldn’t take a bath. But Harry was adamant, still getting Holden into the tub and keeping him in there with a bribe of all the bubbles he could ever dream of.

And as Holden was playing with his bubbles, putting them all over his face and in his hair Harry pulled out his phone and created a new message. He attached the video of him chasing Holden around the flat and sent it off to Louis, knowing the older lad would get a kick out of it.

**To Louis: So far so good !**

_Meanwhile with Louis_

Louis felt his phone buzz in his pocket as he walked towards the restaurant, pulling it out before opening the door in front of him.

It was impossible to stop the smile that stretched across his face as he clicked on the video Harry sent him. He was more than happy to see them both having a good time and Holden at least somewhat behaving.

**To Harry: If I remember correctly you used to do the same thing.**

Louis froze as he looked down at his phone, swallowing thickly and not believing he had actually just sent that. There must be some way to get a text back, to make sure it didn’t actually send.

He was just thinking that, he didn’t mean to type it out! “Fuck, fuck, are you kidding me?!” Louis muttered angrily to himself as he tapped on the message, trying desperately to somehow retrieve it back. But too late…

**From Harry: Only because a certain someone liked to flush the toilet while I was in the shower and make the water ice cold ;)**

Louis bit his lip, trying to keep in a quiet laugh at the countless memories of him doing that. Sometimes on purpose, others not.

Harry took showers that were too long for any sane person, and Louis was only a man, sometimes he had to pee.

He always did love Harry’s reaction, jumping out of the shower and freaking out around the flat, complaining about how cold it was. There was no way Louis could actually tell Harry he did it on purpose though.

**To Harry: Sorry you took 9 hour showers and I had to pee !!**

Louis groaned to himself as he sent another thing that was just plain ridiculous. Someone should just take his phone away from him, he needed to be stopped before this got out of hand.

But then he saw Harry typing and he was just a bit too interested to see what the younger lad had to say. He kept his eyes on the screen, probably looking like a crazy person as he just smiled at his phone.

“Uhm, Louis?”

Louis snapped his head up, his smile faltering a bit as he saw Liam in front of him.

“H-hey it’s uh, it’s so good to see you,” Liam said, offering the older lad a small grin.

“Yeah it’s been a while,” Louis said quietly as he bit his lip.

“You want to sit? Get some dinner, maybe catch up?”

Louis nodded as he put his buzzing phone back in his pocket, telling him he got another text, but he figured he should actually do what he came here for. So he followed Liam to a table in the back of the restaurant, still trying to figure out what he wanted to say to the younger lad, if he had anything to say at all.

“So uhm, how’s Holden? He doing okay?” Liam asked quietly as he took a seat across from Louis and tried to get comfortable.

“Yeah, yeah, he’s good,” Louis breathed out as he pulled his glasses on and picked up his menu. “He’s actually with Harry right now, spending some one on one time with him.”

“...Really?” Liam asked with raised eyebrows. “I mean you actually kept in touch with him? And are letting him be alone with Holden?”

“Yeah, I am,” Louis said plainly, keeping his eyes on his menu.

Liam nodded and cleared his throat slightly, thinking that maybe he should be a bit more careful about what he says, not wanting to upset the older lad even more. “Alright, well uhm how is he then? Harry, he good?”

“You don’t have to pretend that you actually care,” Louis muttered, knowing very well that Liam couldn’t care less about Harry.

“Louis I…” Liam began, at a loss of what to say. “I don’t know what you want me to do or-”

“Tell me why you did it,” Louis cut him off, finally meeting the younger lad’s eyes. “Tell me why you lied to me for years, why you thought it was okay to do something so awful to me, to Harry and Holden.”

Louis watched as Liam opened his mouth but absolutely nothing came out. And that’s what he was scared of, that Liam didn’t even have a reason besides doing it for his own selfish reasons.

“You know what? Maybe this was a mistake, maybe I should go,” Louis said quietly, placing his menu down and ready to push his chair out.

“Louis please, I’m sorry, sit,” Liam rushed out, needing to explain himself.

“Why should I even do that?” Louis asked with a touch of anger in his voice. “Why should I sit and listen to you after the way you hurt me?”

“Louis because we’re… Well we’re best mates and have been since we were babies,” Liam barely whispered. “I was just trying to protect you…”

Louis let out a deep breath as he settled back in his seat and taking his glasses off before rubbing a hand over his face.

“Do you remember what you were like when he left?” Liam asked quietly. “How you wouldn’t get out of bed for weeks and I had to basically beg you to shower or eat?... Louis I couldn’t watch you go through that again, I couldn’t sit and watch him hurt you.”

Louis bit his lip as he thought back to all those years ago, barely able to pick himself out of bed after Harry left. He pushed the memories out quickly though, not wanting to let those feelings resurface when things were going so well with Harry now.

“But I mean it wasn’t just him hurting you as a reason as to why I did it, even though it was the main one,” Liam said, a bit relieved that Louis sat back down.

“Before you continue let me ask you this… When I was crying on your shoulder for years about how Harry knew about Holden, how you let me believe that he didn’t want me, he didn’t want our son what the hell was going through your head? I mean how could you just pretend that part of this wasn’t your fault?”

Liam let out a quiet breath as he shook his head and shrugged, not sure what to say. But before he could say anything a waitress came up, the two giving their drink orders before she walked off.

“Louis I thought I was doing what was right, I thought I was protecting you and Holden.”

“He would’ve come back for us Liam…” Louis said so quietly he wasn’t sure if the younger lad heard him.

“Do you not remember what he said to you before he left? What he called you?” Liam asked with raised eyebrows. “And besides when all of this happened he was getting famous, you really think he would’ve dropped all of that?”

“Yes,” Louis said not even need to think about it. “And when he left he was hurt,” he said, catching himself for a second as he realized he was defending Harry. But when he thought about it, in this case he deserved to be. “He was hurting and you knew he was all along but you didn’t say anything to me.”

“Louis I couldn’t…” Liam said as he shook his head and looked to his hands in his lap. “Every time I talked to you about him you got mad at me and then Niall told me all about what Harry thought of our relationship and I got scared…”

Louis looked at the younger lad confused, having no clue what Liam could possibly be scared of. “What are you talking about?”

Liam let out a quiet breath, trying to figure out how to explain himself. “When you were dating Matt you said you loved him, or you thought you loved him, and you listened to whatever he said, so that meant we never saw each other because he didn’t like me… And then Harry came along and it was clear to anyone with eyes how in love you were with him.”

Louis really had no idea where Liam was going with this, what the younger lad was trying to say.

“Niall talked to me about how Harry felt about our relationship, that he didn’t like how close we were… And I was terrified that the same thing would happen, that he would ask you to not see me or hang out with me and that you would listen to him because of how much you loved him,” Liam said quietly, unable to look at the blue eyed lad across from him. “So that mixed with what he said to you, how much he hurt you and the fact that I just wanted to protect you and Holden that’s why I faked the email address…”

Louis sat there and couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He couldn’t believe that Liam really thought that he would stop being friends with him just because Harry would ask him to. But that’s the thing, Harry would never ask him to do something like that, not now or then. And Louis couldn’t help but think of everything that happened because no one talked to each other.

Harry and Liam didn’t talk to him, he didn’t talk to Harry and because of that this mess happened. But now that they were talking and everything was on the table Louis didn’t know what to do with it all. He didn’t know if he should forgive Liam for what he had done, forgive Harry for what he had put him through.

And even when dinner was over and Louis listened to everything Liam had to say he was still at a loss. He needed time to think about what the younger lad had said and what they should do as for a friendship. But in the midst of everything his mind always made it’s way back to Harry. How if there wasn’t all this miscommunication they would probably still be together. That neither of them would be hurt, that he wouldn’t be in this situation, having to make a million different decisions.

He pulled up to Harry’s building, his thoughts still racing with everything Liam said but tried his hardest to push them away, at least for now. All Louis really wanted to do was get his son, say hi to Harry and hear all about the night they had.

When he got up to Harry’s flat he stepped out of the lift and looked around, not expecting it to be so quiet. “H?” he called out. “Either H,” Louis said through a quiet laugh as he made his way towards the living room.

Once he stepped foot into the dark room though, the muffled tv playing Cinderella, the only noise in the otherwise silent room Louis found it impossible to stop the smile that spread across his face as he saw the two on the couch.

Holden laying down on Harry’s chest, little snores escaping them as they slept. One of the younger lad’s arms wrapped securely around the 3 year old while his other laid by his side.

And then Louis noticed what Holden was wearing as he took a seat on the coffee table in front of the two. He figured that his clothes got dirty and that Harry gave him one of his shirts. But that was the thing, Louis could recognize that shirt anywhere. He himself used to wear that old band tee when they were together, and it was large on him but it looked like a dress on his son. And even if Louis wanted to he couldn’t help the fond grin that widened as he looked at the pair.

He reached his hand up, gently brushing his fingers through his son’s feathery chocolate brown hair. If it were curly it would look exactly like Harry’s, but Holden’s hair was one of the few traits he got from Louis, looks wise anyway.

He looked between the two, letting out a soft breath before gently letting his hand fall, it resting against something else, something warm.

Louis glanced down, his breath catching in his throat as he saw his hand resting against Harry’s. His eyes flickered back to the younger lad, looking to see if he woke up but he was still sleeping, letting Louis relax a little bit.

But then he looked back down at their hands, himself stilling for a moment before he bit his lip and slowly opening his hand, it wrapping around the younger lad’s larger one. And he doesn’t know why he did it. Why he traced his fingers over Harry’s palm and his calloused fingertips, feeling the exact same way they did all those years ago. His thick hands, the hard skin on his fingers from playing guitar and the lines he once memorized on his palms were still the same.

And just as he ran his fingers over the younger lad’s palm, his breathing coming out shallow and heart steadily pounding in his chest he felt a hand close around his.

“You know…” Harry’s voice came out sleep filled, a small smile stretching across his face as Louis’ head snapped up to him. “If you wanted to hold my hand so badly you could’ve woken me up… Oh wait, you did that,” he said through a quiet laugh, rubbing his thumb over the older lad’s skin gently.

Louis ducked his head, his entire face heating up as he heard the younger lad. “I-I wasn’t… I mean I didn’t mean for you to-”

“It’s more than fine,” Harry breathed out, giving Louis’ hand a gentle squeeze. “Best way I’ve woken up in years.”

If possible Louis felt his face heat up even more as he slowly pulled his hand out of Harry’s, ducking his head and biting his lip, trying to calm his racing heart. “I’m sorry, I-I don’t know what I was thinking, I-I uhm I-”

“Lou stop it,” Harry said, trying to bite his laughter back as he reached for Louis’ hand again, engulfing it in his and giving it a light squeeze. “It’s not like I care, obviously.”

Louis looked down at their hands, clearly Harry doesn’t care as he ran his thumb over his skin. And as much as Louis wanted to pull away, he found that he couldn’t, he felt stuck with the way the younger lad was looking at him, the way he was so gentle with him.

“How was your night and musical auditions and everything?” Harry asked quietly, adjusting Holden carefully on his chest, trying his hardest not to wake him up.

“It was uhm, it was-” Louis let out a shaky breath and swallowed thickly, trying to ignore the way his hand was getting sweaty with how Harry was holding it, how he was playing with his fingers. “Good, it was all good,” he said quietly as he nodded to himself. “Well I mean auditions were good, dinner was okay…”

“Want to talk about it?” Harry asked softly.

Louis bit his lip as he looked back down at their hands, not sure what he wanted to do right now, his mind was all over the place. “You know what? I should probably get this one home, it’s late,” he said, nodding towards Holden.

“Wait,” Harry said quickly, holding onto the older lad’s hand just a bit tighter to keep him from moving. “Would you uhm, w-well you can stay over here.”

Louis felt himself still as he heard Harry, his eyes darting between the younger lad and his son resting on his chest.

“You and Holden can take my bed, I’ll sleep on the couch and then in the morning we can go for breakfast,” Harry suggested through a small hopeful grin.

“I… I dunno Harry…” Louis said quietly as he shook his head.

“Come on Lou, what’s it gonna hurt?” Harry asked softly as he rubbed Holden’s back gently and played with the older lad’s fingers.

Louis let out a small breath as he looked back down at their hands, feeling his cheeks heat up with the way Harry tangled their fingers together. Tomorrow was a Saturday so he didn’t have work and he and Harry are trying this whole being friendly thing, so maybe it wouldn’t hurt. It was just breakfast after all.

“Uhm… Yeah, yeah I guess,” he said quietly, offering the younger lad a small smile. “But you take your bed, I’ll sleep on the couch. It looks comfier than the bed I have anyway.”

“You sure?” Harry’s smile stretching across his face as he slowly released Louis’ hand and very carefully sat up, adjusting the sleeping toddler on his lap as he did so.

“I insist,” Louis said through his own grin as he looked at his sleeping son in the younger lad’s arms. “You watched him all night and this is your place so please sleep in your own bed.”

Harry nodded, knowing how stubborn Louis is and no matter how much he begged and pleaded for him to sleep in his bed the older lad wouldn’t budge.  “Where do you want him?” he asked quietly as he rubbed the sleeping 3 year old’s back gently.

“He seemed pretty comfortable with you so if you want he can just sleep with you,” Louis shrugged.

Harry didn’t think this night could get any better. Well maybe if Louis was sleeping in the bed too, but he knew that was way too much to ask for, but at least he had his son to cuddle up with. And in the morning they would get breakfast, it was too good to be true.

But after placing Holden in his bed, giving Louis some clothes and saying a quiet goodnight to the older lad Harry knew it was all happening. He knew it was happening when he was in his own bed and Holden sleepily crawled over to him, laying on his chest before he stuck his thumb in his mouth and quietly snored to himself. And as Harry looked down at his son he couldn’t help the soft smile that came to him before kissing Holden’s head gently, wrapping an arm around and dozing off to sleep with the thought that he could get used to having his son in his arms and Louis sleeping under the same roof as him. And maybe, just maybe if Harry kept up what he was doing someday Louis wouldn’t be sleeping on the couch in the living room, but in the bed next to him with their son.

*~*

Louis rolled over groggily on the couch, no matter how hard he tried to fall back asleep he just couldn’t and those were always the worst mornings. Even though this was the most comfortable couch in the world and he was in his favorite type of clothes, the ones that were too big for him, he just couldn’t get back to sleep.

So Louis stopped fighting it, instead slowly sitting up and checking his phone, seeing that it was actually a decent time to be awake and that he had a couple messages from Liam that could definitely wait until later.

He rubbed a hand over his face, trying to wake up just a bit more before setting his phone back down on the coffee table and looked around, his eyes adjusting to his surroundings and remembering that he was actually in Harry’s flat and not in his own home. But as he looked back down at the coffee table his eyes caught something, a few somethings actually.

Louis reached for the piece of paper, a soft smile coming to him as he saw drawings clearly done by his son. There were a few of them scattered over the table, some of them were the two of them and Harry, their cat Rob and one that Louis assumed was just scribbles.

And as he looked at the drawings his smile only grew, unable to get over how cute his little boy was. But then his eyes caught the papers that were under the drawings.

Louis picked them up, his eyebrows furrowing as he could easily tell it was Harry’s handwriting, he would recognize it anywhere. But it was what was written on them that had Louis’ heart stop.

One page was titled [Don’t Let Me Go](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bEBzek5Hi_s) as the other was [Just A Little Bit Of Your Heart](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F0-50nRyuy8), and as he read down the two pages Louis knew they were lyrics. And just like all those years ago when he used to read the younger lad’s lyrics he felt his breath hitch at the words scribbled on the page.

“Think I have my next single?”

Louis snapped his head up, his eyes going wide and swallowing thickly as he saw Harry shirtless and his joggers dangerously low on his hips. “U-uhm sorry, t-they were just uh they were on the table a-and-”

“Louis relax, it’s alright,” Harry said through a small laugh as he shook his head and made his way to sit next to the older lad on the couch. “You were always my best critic anyway.”

Louis bit his lip, trying to hold back a smile as he looked to his hands in his lap and not his half naked ex-boyfriend who was sitting a bit too close to him. “I don’t think I was much of a critic. I just listened and loved them all,” he said sheepishly, his own laugh escaping him.

“And that’s why you were the best,” Harry said softly as he threw his arm over the back of the couch. “Do you want to listen to them?” he asked nodding to the papers in the older lad’s hands. “I mean I can play them for you if you want.”

“Uhm… Yeah, sure I guess,” Louis said as he offered the curly haired lad a small smile and handed him his papers.

Harry grinned back at him, giving Louis’ shoulder a gentle squeeze before leading him towards the music room. “Sleep okay?”

“Yeah that couch is comfier than my bed at home,” Louis said with a quiet chuckle as he followed the younger lad into the room.

“You’re welcome to it anytime,” Harry said, his smile widening as he took a seat on the piano bench, but then he saw Louis shuffling on his feet in front of the piano. “C’mere,” he said, patting the seat next to him.

Louis bit his lip but nodded anyway as he took a seat on the small space next to Harry. And as soon as he was comfortable he saw the younger lad grin at him before looking back to the piano keys and placing his fingers where they needed to go.

Louis just watched as Harry played, the younger lad’s arm brushing against his, his muscles flexing slightly as he moved. And Louis just stayed still, listening to Harry and feeling his skin being pressed against his own.

The words were heartbreaking and just from listening to the songs Louis could see that Harry was in pain, that he has been for years. But he himself has been in the same amount if not more pain than the younger lad and since Harry’s been back and they’ve been a bit nicer to each other Louis felt that pain slowly diminishing. He could only hope that Harry’s was too.

And when Harry finished playing he just sat there, his hands coming off the instrument and resting on his legs as he looked over to Louis, only to see the older lad already looking right back at him.

“What’d you think?” Harry breathed out quietly, his eyes scanning over Louis’ face, trying to read him

Louis opened his mouth, trying to find the words to describe what he thought of the two songs. “Harry they were uhm… They were really beautiful,” he barely whispered, earning a soft grin from the younger lad.

“Yeah?” Harry asked with raised eyebrows, feeling his dimples pop out from how wide he was smiling.

Louis hummed as he nodded, his own grin stretching across his face. But then he saw the younger lad’s gaze flicker from his eyes to his lips before blue met green again. And Louis felt himself freeze where he was sitting, swallowing thickly as they just looked at each other.

Louis can’t remember the last time they were sitting this close, so close that their breaths were mixing and sides completely pressed together. And just at the position they were in Louis was reminded of when they were dating. The early mornings sitting and listening to Harry playing guitar and kisses between songs, it felt like it did all those years ago, like nothing had changed.

“You know…” Harry trailed off quietly, finding himself leaning a bit closer to the older lad. “They were uhm… They’re about you,” he barely whispered.

Louis let out a shaky breath, not even able to find it in himself to nod as he noticed Harry getting closer and closer to him. His throat felt so tight he couldn’t even swallow, but it wasn’t just the fact that the younger lad was coming dangerously close to him, it was that he felt his own body involuntarily begin to lean forward as well.

He could feel his heart pounding in his ears, Harry’s body turned fully towards him and the younger lad’s hand hesitantly coming up to the back of his neck. And Louis didn’t stop him. He let himself get pulled in, let his eyes fall shut and Harry’s nose brush against his before-

“Daddy?”

Louis snapped his head up, his eyes going wide as he saw the position he was in before abruptly standing up from the piano bench. How could he be so stupid? How could he let himself so easily be pulled in like that?

"H-hey buddy," Louis said, offering his son a small smile. "It's good to see you up, I missed you last night,” he said, walking over to the toddler and scooping him up.

“Daddy you clothes big,” Holden said through a giggle as he wrapped his arm around his father’s neck and let him kiss him all over.

“Well uhm, that’s cause their Harry’s,” Louis said quietly as he shifted his eyes to the younger lad, his cheeks still tinted pink. “I see you’re wearing his clothes too.”                   

“That cause mine get dirty from make taco pizza,” Holden said, making his daddy look at him confused.

“Right… I’ll pretend I know what that is,” Louis said through a quiet chuckle.

“We’ll tell you all about it at breakfast. Won’t we H?” Harry said as he got up from the piano bench and walked over to the two, kissing Holden good morning.

Holden looked at the older man wide eyed, a smile immediately making it’s way to his face. “We go to breakfast?!”

Harry raised his eyebrows at Louis, this being his decision if he still wanted to go. And when the older lad gave him a small nod Harry found it impossible to stop the smile that stretched across his face.

“I was actually going to ask if you guys wanted to stay over for dinner tonight, so if you want we can hang out for the day,” Harry suggested, knowing he was pushing his luck a little bit, but it wouldn’t hurt to try.

“Dinner at Harry’s house!! Yes!!” Holden cheered excitedly in his daddy’s arms. “Can I bring Rob?”

“Buddy we talked about this. Rob stays in the house,” Louis reminded the toddler, him always trying to take the cat to Zayn’s or to daycare with him.

“So is that a yes?” Harry asked through a hopeful grin.

Holden nodded quickly and screamed another “yes!!”, but Harry was really looking to Louis, it all being up to him. And even if the older lad let out a deep breath before biting his lip Harry saw him nod and mutter a quiet “sure”, if possible making Harry that much happier.

“Alright so if you guys want we can drive to your house so you can change and then we can go to breakfast.”

“Yeah, that all sounds fine,” Louis breathed out, trying to mentally prepare himself for a day with Harry after what had almost happened minutes ago.

“Great,” Harry said, offering the older lad a small smile, Louis quickly looking away from him though and focusing back on Holden. “Uhm so I’ll just uh, I’ll put some clothes on and we can get goin.”

“Yeah Harry you need shirt if you go to breakfast with us,” Holden said through a giggle as he wrapped his arms around his daddy’s neck.

Harry let out a quiet laugh, his eyes still locked on Louis but it was like the older lad was trying to do everything in his power to not look at him. So he didn’t say anything else, instead he made his way to his bedroom and got ready for the day before grabbing his keys, and ushering the two towards the lift.

“Harry I want to ride in space car,” Holden said as his daddy carried him in the parking lot.

“Are you sure buddy? I have another car we can take,” Harry said, thinking today they’d go in his Range Rover. It did have more room after all.

“No! Space car!” Holden said, jumping in his father’s arms.

“Alright, alright, space car it is,” Harry said through a chuckle as he led the two to his car and opened the back door for Louis to put Holden in.

Louis felt his jaw go slack as he saw the younger lad’s car. He remembered Harry used to always talk about buying some fancy and fast car but he didn’t think he actually did it. And it nearly took everything in him to peel his eyes away once he had Holden buckled into the seat.

“Here you are Lou,” Harry said, offering the older lad a small smile as he opened the passenger door for him.

“Uhm thanks,” Louis said quietly, unable to meet Harry’s eyes as he got into the car.

Harry bit his lip as he watched Louis get in the car, closing the door when he saw the older lad settled and made his way to his own side of the car. And as he got in his seat and started the car he stole a glance at the older lad, Louis still refusing to pick his head up to look at him.

It felt like as he drove he would look over at Louis but the blue eyed lad wouldn’t so much as even glance back at him. So Harry let out a deep breath, his mind racing with the thought that he had ruined everything with Louis because of what had almost happened this morning. It was as if he took one step forward and three steps back with the older lad. But at least he had all day to make up for it and try to get Louis to come around again.

“You uhm, you want to come in?” Louis asked quietly as Harry pulled up to the house.

Or maybe he didn’t have to try all that hard to get the older lad back on his side.

“Yeah, sure,” Harry said, sending Louis a soft smile. “I’ll feed Rob while you guys get ready,” he said, hopping out of the car and getting Holden out of his seat.

“Rob!!” Holden said excitedly, running towards the door and trying to pull it open. “Daddy hurry!!”

“Alright, alright, geez buddy,” Louis said through a small laugh as he saw his son trying to break the door down.

He unfolded his jeans in his hands, remembering he was still in Harry’s clothes before reaching for his keys in his pants pocket. And once they were inside Louis promised the younger lad they would be quick before carrying the toddler upstairs and getting ready for the day.

“Take your time!” Harry called after them before going into the kitchen and getting Rob some food.

The cat must’ve been pretty hungry because as soon as he heard the food fall into the bowl he was quick to walk between the curly haired lad’s legs and purr against him before he began eating.

Harry scratched between his ears his smile widening before he reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone. He made his way outside the house as he dialed the number, not really wanting Louis to hear him and he had quickly learned this past month that there were always little ears listening.

“Since when do you get up before noon?”

Harry laughed to himself as he heard the Irish lad through the phone and hummed, not remembering himself the last time got up this early. “Well I had some guests this morning so I had to get up and be a proper host.”

“Who was at your flat? Your only mates are me and Ed and I spent the night at his place,” Niall said into the phone confused.

“I have more friends than you two you arse,” Harry said as he rolled his eyes and looked around outside. “And Louis and Holden were over this morning… Cause they slept at my place."

“They what?!”

Harry had to pull the phone away from his ear at how loud Niall yelled. “Geez Ni,” he muttered. “But yeah, they spent the night and then uhm.... Well something kind of happened this morning,” Harry said, glancing at the closed door behind him and making sure Louis or Holden wasn’t coming out.

“What the… What the hell is going on? Seriously? They slept there? And then more things happened?!”

“Well kind of happened…” Harry said quietly as he bit his lip and shuffled on his feet. “Louis and I uhm… We almost kissed…”

“Harry what the fuck!!!”

“I know, I know,” Harry breathed out as he rubbed a hand over his face. “Actually I don’t know… Ni what the hell am I doing?”

“Mate you’re taking the fucking leap!! Finally after years things are falling back into place!!” Niall said excitedly.

“Well not really because we never actually kissed and now he can’t even look at me,” Harry said through a deep breath. “Holden came in right before it happened and just…-”

“Where are you now? What’s Louis doing?” Niall rushed out, more than ready to help his best mate fix this.

Harry glanced back at the door and shoved his free hand into his pocket, trying to ignore the late October chill. “I’m actually at Louis’ house… He and Holden are getting ready so we can go out to breakfast and then we’re spending the day together, and they’re having dinner at my place tonight too.”

“So what’re you freaking out about?” Niall asked confused. “Lou is still hanging out with you and you’re gonna be together all day, relax mate.”

Harry bit his lip and nodded to himself. Maybe he was overthinking all of this but it was impossible not to with how cautious Louis is around him since they reconnected. And just as Harry was about to say something he saw a car pull into the driveway, but it was who was driving the car that had his jaw clench.

“Ni I have to go.”

“What? H c’mon I want to talk about this,” Niall whined.

“I’ll call you later,” and before Niall could say anything else Harry hung up and shoved his phone in his pocket. He watched as the older lad got out of the car, clearly just as thrilled as Harry was to see him.

“Harry…” Liam breathed out as he walked towards the house.

“Liam,” Harry muttered. “What are you doing here?” he asked with raised eyebrows as he crossed his arms over his chest.

“I’m here to check on Louis… Last night didn’t go as well as I hoped,” Liam said quietly.

“Yeah, he told me,” Harry said, eyeing the older lad. “And I also know he wanted some time to think about things when it comes to you so I don’t think he’d appreciate you just showing up here.”

“Don’t act like you know what’s best for him Harry,” Liam scoffed as he shook his head. “Need I remind you of the past 4 years? Ya know, how you left him with a kid?”

“No thanks to you and the shit you pulled,” Harry said, taking a step closer to the older lad. “I punched you once Liam and trust me, I’d be more than happy to do it again. Leave. Now.”

Liam looked at Harry, keeping his ground for only a second before putting his hands up in defeat and backing away. “Tell Louis I stopped by,” he muttered before walking back towards his car.

Harry hummed, his eyes locked on the older lad until he was fully backed out of the driveway and on the road.

“Why so tense?”

Harry quickly turned around, not having heard Louis open the door. He was a bit relieved to see the older lad smiling at him and Holden not with him though. “Uhm Liam just stopped by…”

Louis furrowed his eyebrows as he pulled his coat on and looked into the living room where Holden was putting his shoes on. “Oh… What did he want?”

“Just to see how you were doing,” Harry said quietly. “But he left so…”

Louis nodded and hummed to himself before calling Holden to get his coat on so they could go.

“Well if it’s uhm, if it’s any consolation you look really nice,” Harry said quietly, scratching the back of his neck and offering the older lad a soft smile.

“Flattery gets you nowhere Styles,” Louis muttered through a small laugh as he got his son’s coat on him.

“Yeah, we’ll see about that,” Harry said, gently placing his hand on the older lad’s lower back as he and Holden walked out of the house. “And by your blush I’d say flattery works just fine,” he whispered into Louis’ ear through a quiet laugh as Holden ran towards the car.

“You’re the worst,” Louis said, grinning softly to himself as he rolled his eyes and jabbed Harry in the side, feeling his cheeks heat up even more at the curly haired lad’s touch. But for the second time this morning he found himself unable to pull away.

*~*

“Buddy tell me about last night, you haven’t really said anything,” Louis said as he wrapped an arm around his son and pulled him into his side.

Harry smiled at the two across from him as he stretched his legs forward and not so accidentally tangling his feet with the older lad’s. And even if Louis froze for a second, his eyes darting to Harry’s, at least he didn’t pull away, instead just continued to talk to Holden.

“Harry pick me up at daycare,” Holden said as he had his tongue sticking out between his lips, his coloring being too important to listen to his daddy.

“Alright, then what happened at daycare?” Louis asked through a chuckle. “C’mon gimme something H, I missed you yesterday,” he pouted at the 3 year old before kissing him all over his face, making the toddler whine.

“Daddy,” Holden groaned as he tried to push his father away. “I tell you if you stop.”

Louis laughed to himself, letting up on his kissing but still kept a firm arm wrapped around his son. “Okay I stopped.”

“Good,” Holden breathed out before sitting back against the booth. “Daycare good. I play and Harry pick me up and then miss Hollie give Harry piece of paper and flirt with him and then-”

“Wait, what?” Louis stopped Holden as he was talking too fast. “Miss Hollie did what?”

Harry’s eyes went wide, his mouth opening but nothing coming out as the older lad looked to him with raised eyebrows. “What? Come on buddy she didn’t flirt with me,” he said through his best convincing laugh.

“Harry she flirt with you like she flirt with uncle Zayn,” Holden said with furrowed eyebrows.

Louis pursed his lips as he kept his eyes on the younger lad and nodded to himself, knowing very well how much of a flirt Hollie was, but the fact that she did it with Harry for some reason didn’t sit well with him.

“And what was on this piece of paper?” he asked, his eyes locked on the curly haired lad as he crossed his arms over his chest.

“Louis it was nothing, I mean I didn’t even look at it, I threw it out as soon as she gave it to me,” Harry rushed out, feeling like he had to defend himself with the way the older lad was looking at him.

Louis didn’t know why he felt the pang of jealously that hit him, or why he even cared. But today has already been pretty weird and it was only 9 am. “Tell me about the rest of your day then,” he said through a small smile as he looked back down to Holden.

But the toddler couldn’t even answer before their food was placed in front of them, Holden immediately more interested in his breakfast than his daddy’s questions.

Harry looked between the two of them, Holden too focused on his breakfast to care about what he was about to do. “Louis,” he said quietly, placing his hand over the older lad’s, wanting his attention.

Louis’ eyes snapped to where Harry was holding his hand, feeling himself freeze before he shifted his gaze to the curly haired lad across from him.

“Listen, nothing happened with Hollie. She just asked for a picture, that’s it,” Harry said softly, rubbing his thumb over Louis’ skin.

“S’fine,” Louis shrugged, offering the younger lad a small smile. It didn’t matter who flirted with Harry or who asked him out because the two of them weren’t together. Louis doesn’t know why he got upset, it was just Hollie after all, she flirts with everyone. He just hopes if it happens again he can keep himself together.

Harry grinned back at the older lad, giving his hand a gentle squeeze before pulling their legs just a bit closer under the table and picking up his fork to eat.

Louis could feel his heart steadily pounding in his chest as he looked down at their hands, Harry’s larger one engulfing his. And if that wasn’t enough their legs were completely tangled under the table, making Louis freak out that much more.

Sure on the outside he was cool, calm and collected, acting like none of this was happening as he ate his breakfast, Harry’s hand still heavy on his. But on the inside he was freaking out. His mind was racing, his heart was pumping and wherever the younger lad was touching him he just felt hot. And to make it that much worse Louis felt like he did all those years ago when he first met Harry. When there were subtle and soft touches that made Louis’ stomach curl and goosebumps rise on his skin.

And Louis doesn’t know how he kept himself together, actually having a conversation with Harry or his son all throughout breakfast as the younger lad felt like he was completely taking him over with where he was touching him and made no signs of moving anytime soon.

It was only when they were done with breakfast did Harry let go of his hand and untangle their legs. But even as they got up from the booth the younger lad put his hand on Louis’ lower back, and picked up Holden to get them outside quickly so no one would catch that he was there.

Of course a few waitresses had nearly screamed when they first walked in and a few fans came up while they were eating but Harry told them he wasn’t taking pictures today, just signing a few things.

And as Harry was getting Holden buckled in his seat the toddler talked about how many friends Harry has and how they all wanted to see him. Harry wasn’t quite sure how to explain that one, all these people not really being his friends but once they were all in the car and on the road Louis explained it to him, that these people just like Harry’s music, they don’t actually know him.

“Oh I get it,” Holden said as he nodded to himself and played with the buttons near him. “Harry where we going?”

“Someone wasn’t paying attention during breakfast huh?” Harry asked teasingly as he reached his hand behind his seat and gave the toddler’s leg a gentle squeeze. “Daddy and I thought it would be fun to go pumpkin picking and then we can take them back to my house to carve them.”

Holden’s jaw went slack before he said a very loud and excited “yes!!”.

Harry and Louis laughed to themselves as the toddler started going off about how he wanted to carve his pumpkin and what character he wanted to make it. He was talking so fast they could barely keep up with him but as Harry glanced in the rear view mirror to look at Holden he noticed something.

“Shit,” he muttered to himself, looking at the lane next to him on the highway before switching into it, the car behind him following his exact moves.

“What’s wrong?” Louis asked with furrowed eyebrows.

Harry looked in the mirror again, rubbing a hand over his face as this was the last thing he wanted, especially with Louis and Holden with him. “There’s someone following us…” he said quietly. “A fan must’ve recognized my car or something.”

“Are you kidding me?” Louis asked, not believing it as he turned around to look at the car behind them, a teenage girl at the wheel. “Well what do we do? Does this happen a lot?”

“Unfortunately yes,” Harry breathed out. “And I think the best thing to do with the two of you with me is to go to the pumpkin place, park the car, you two stay in here while I talk to whoever is following us."

Louis felt his jaw go slack at the thought of Harry actually being followed on a regular basis. He can’t even imagine how hard that must be daily. “Sure that sounds fine,” he said quietly.

“Louis I’m so sorry,” Harry said, feeling terrible as he reached a hand over and squeezed the older lad’s knee gently. “Normally I try to get away from them, but with you two in the car I don’t really want to speed down the highway.”

“Yeah, good idea,” Louis said through a quiet chuckle, not even wanting to think about how fast this car could go or what it would be like to dodge other cars in some high speed chase. “But it’s fine, really,” he said reassuringly.

Harry let out a small breath as he nodded to himself, still feeling awful about all of it. But at least as he drove Louis didn’t seem phased by it at all, and he knew Holden wasn’t with the toddler still talking their ears off about pumpkins and Halloween.

Louis looked over to the younger lad, his eyes then shifting to where Harry’s hand was resting on his knee before reaching for his hand and taking it off him.

“Are you trying to hold my hand again?” Harry asked teasingly as he felt Louis’ hand on his.

“No but you have been all day,” Louis said through a quiet laugh as he put Harry’s hand on the steering wheel.

Harry bit his lip as he stole a glance over at Louis and then looked in the rear view mirror, Holden completely lost in his own little world as he looked out the window.  “Well I uhm…  You know I missed you these past couple years Lou,” he said quietly. “And just like all those years ago it’s hard to help myself around you,” Harry said, offering the older lad a small smile.

Louis sat there quiet for a moment, his eyes locked on Harry who looked over at him every now and again, trying to read his expression. “Haven’t lost that charm now have we?” he muttered, his own grin creeping onto his lips.

Harry hummed, his smile going so wide his dimples popped out before he reached over, pat Louis’ thigh, and kept it there. And even if he saw the older lad roll his eyes at least he didn’t take his hand off him again, instead just letting it rest on him until they got to the pumpkin patch.

“Daddy! Harry!! Out, we here!!” Holden said excitedly as Harry parked the car, trying desperately to get out of his seat.

“Hang on big guy Harry has do something really quick,” Louis said, feeling the younger lad squeeze his thigh gently before he got out of the car and walked towards the car that had been following them for over 20 minutes.

Holden watched Harry confused as he and his daddy stayed in the car. He watched the older man talk with some girl for a little bit and take a picture before he walked back over to them and opened his door.

“Who’s ready to get some pumpkins?” Harry asked happily as he got Holden out of his seat.

“Me!!” Holden cheered before nearly leaping into the curly haired lad’s arms. “Harry I want up on shoulders,” he said, already trying to climb up Harry.

“Umh Lou,” Harry said as Holden not so gracefully tried to climb on him. “Louis!” he said, this time getting the older lad’s attention and making him rush towards them.

“H c’mon you can’t do that,” Louis said, helping Holden get on Harry’s shoulders. “Remember we tried that with uncle Zayn and we fell?” he asked once the toddler was situated on the younger lad.

“Sorry Harry,” Holden said before placing his little hand on Harry’s cheeks and dipped his head to kiss his hair.

“You’re excited buddy, it’s okay,” Harry said through a quiet chuckle before grabbing one of Holden’s little legs. “Let’s go get those pumpkins.”

And with that and his hand placed on Louis’ lower back they were off to get the perfect pumpkins.

*~*

“Louis I swear to God if you throw one more seed at me I’m shoving pumpkin guts in your face,” Harry warned through a quiet laugh as he tried to focus on his carving.

“You’re fine princess,” Louis scoffed as he helped Holden with his own pumpkin.

“Princess Harry,” Holden giggled before throwing a seed at the older man.

Harry rolled his eyes fondly, the two Tomlinsons completely taking away his focus. “If this pumpkin turns out badly I’m blaming you two,” he huffed.

Both Louis and Holden laughed to themselves as they worked on their own carving, and just as Louis was about to say something a phone ringing stopped him. “You need to get that?” he asked quietly.

“Uhm… No, no, it’s fine,” Harry said as he saw the caller and shook his head.

“Harry whoever that is has been calling you all day, just pick it up,” Louis said, Harry’s phone ringing nonstop since they were at the pumpkin patch.

Harry just shook his head again as he silenced his phone and tried to get back to what he was doing. But he couldn’t even pick up his carving knife before his intercom started ringing. “You’ve got to be kidding me,” he muttered, getting up to answer it. “Hey Roy, what’s up?” he asked into it.

“Mr. Styles Clara is here to see you. She said she’s been calling you all day and that it’s very important.”

Harry bit his lip as he glanced over at Louis, the older lad’s eyes already on him. “Uhm, yeah fine, send her up,” he said quietly before releasing the button and letting out a deep breath.

“Everything okay?” Louis asked with furrowed eyebrows.

“Uhm yeah, fine, fine I uhm, I-I… I’ll be right back,” Harry stuttered out before running his fingers through his hair and making his way towards the lift.

Louis watched as Harry walked down the hall, growing more and more confused as the younger lad looked almost nervous. And he kept his eyes on Harry as he stood in front of the lift, waiting for it to open, and when it did Louis felt his heart fall into his stomach at seeing a tall, blonde and beautiful woman come out and hug the curly haired lad.

“I have been calling you all day, we need to talk.”

“I know, I’m sorry, I was just out today and couldn’t talk on the phone,” Harry said as he released Clara from the hug.

“Hence why I’m here,” Clara said through a quiet laugh. “We have some serious things we need to clear up,” she said before walking down the hall, quickly stopping herself though as she saw two people sitting at the dining room table. “Oh, hello.”

Harry watched as Louis did absolutely nothing but stare at Clara and Holden waved happily. “Uhm Clara this is Louis and Holden,” he introduced.

“Right the reason we need to talk. It’s nice to meet you,” Clara said through a quiet laugh. “H can we…?” she asked, raising her eyebrows at the curly haired lad and silently asking him something.

“Yeah, yeah, of course,” Harry said as he nodded to himself, getting her message. “Uhm I’ll be right back, we just need to talk quickly.”

Louis opened his mouth, absolutely nothing coming out though as he watched Harry lead Clara down the hall with his hand on her lower back. He let out a shaky breath, reminding himself that the younger lad wasn’t his and that he shouldn’t even care. But as Holden kept trying to get his attention to work on their pumpkin Louis felt like it was getting harder and harder to ignore the sinking feeling in his stomach.

“So what’s so important that you had to come over?” Harry asked once they were in his bedroom with the door shut.

“Harry people know,” Clara said seriously. “There are countless pictures of you and Holden and Louis on the internet some from yesterday, but mostly from today and people are starting to ask questions.”

Harry rubbed a hand over his face, this being exactly what he was afraid of.

“As soon as I saw pictures of you guys at the pumpkin patch I knew I had to call you. Media outlets want to know what’s going on, who they are and why bad boy Styles hasn’t been seen out on the town for over a month,” Clara said with raised eyebrows, trying to make him understand how serious this was. “If we don’t act now they’re going to take this into their own hands and start following you and them around.”

“No,” Harry said firmly as he shook his head. “Get restraining orders for Louis and Holden, make sure paps can’t come close to them. After you do that handle the media. Tell them if they don’t back off they won’t get an exclusive from me, and that should hold them off for a little bit, or until I talk to Louis about all of this,” he said, Clara pulling out a pen and notebook, taking notes.

“Explanations for why you haven’t been out partying?” Clara asked, not looking up from her paper.

Harry thought about it for a second, trying to think of something. “Release a statement that the person who left me, what made me turn to partying came back into my life and I don’t feel the need to or something like that, I dunno, spin it off or something,” he said through a quiet breath.

Clara nodded as she wrote everything down and tried to think if there was anything else they had to go over. “I’m sorry for just showing up here like this but James told me that you said you really wanted to keep this out of the media until you’re ready.”

“No, I’m sorry for not answering the phone,” Harry breathed out as he walked towards the door and pulled it open. “I just never like to when I’m with them ya know?”

“Yeah, I know,” Clara scoffed as she followed the younger lad down the hall. “Evident from the multiple text messages and phone calls that get ignored.”

Harry let out a quiet laugh as he scratched the back of his neck sheepishly. “Don’t worry with everything going on if it’s your name on the screen I’ll be sure to pick up,” he said, putting his hand on Clara’s lower back and leading her towards the lift. But as soon as they reached the dining room Louis’ eyes met his, and from the way the older lad was looking at him Harry felt the need to take his hand off her.

“Well I’ll definitely be calling you tomorrow with some news,” Clara said through a quiet laugh as they stopped in front of the lift. “We should find a time this week to go to dinner, talk some more about this and what we can do.”

“We can arrange that,” Harry said, offering her a small smile before wrapping his arms around her. “And thank you for being your stubborn self and coming here to talk to me,” he said before kissing her cheek and letting her go.

“Anything for you,” Clara said as he rolled her eyes playfully. “Bye Louis, Bye Holden, it was nice meeting you,” she said, waving towards the dining room.

Harry looked over at the two at the table, Holden waving goodbye, but Louis letting out a quiet breath before rolling his eyes and muttering to himself.

Clara didn’t even notice though before she said one more goodbye to Harry and got in the lift.

“Alright boys, how’re we looking over here?” Harry asked as he walked towards the table and looked at their pumpkin. “Looking really good guys, much better than mine,” he said through a small laugh before placing a hand on Louis’ shoulder and gave it a light squeeze. But just as he did that the older lad quickly shoved his hand off him and focused back on what he was doing. “Lou?” he asked quietly.

“What?” Louis muttered, taking something Holden was passing him to put on the pumpkin.

“You okay? What’s wrong?” he asked with furrowed eyebrows as he took a seat next to the older lad.

“Nothing,” Louis breathed out as he passed Holden some paint and let him do some finishing touches on their pumpkin. “Was that your girlfriend or something?” he asked quietly, doing everything in his power not to look at Harry.

“What? No,” Harry said, almost having to hold back a laugh. “Clara’s my publicist, she just had some news for me.”

Louis felt his face drop, feeling like he had to hit himself for being so stupid. First for acting the way he was and second for feeling jealous. “Oh,” he said, his mood changing almost completely.

Harry felt a wide smile come to him as he looked at the older lad and guessed what made Louis’ mood change. “Louis Tomlinson are you jealous?” he asked teasingly, scootching closer to him.

“What? Of course not,” Louis said, trying and failing to be convincing as he watched Holden paint their pumpkin.

“Ooooh c’mon Louis, just say it,” Harry said through a small laugh as he poked the blue eyed lad’s side, trying to get him to smile.

“Stop pestering me, I’m trying to do something here,” Louis said as he swatted Harry’s hand away playfully and tried to help his son.

Harry hummed to himself, not even needing Louis to say it to know he was jealous of Clara. And even if it was an odd thing to be happy over Harry didn’t care because this meant that the older lad still had some feelings for him, even if he wouldn’t admit it… Yet.

*~*

“Lou… Louis,” Harry said softly, gently rubbing the older lad’s leg to get him to wake up.

Louis scrunched up his face as he curled closer to whatever he was resting on that was so warm, waking up being the last thing he wanted to do.

“C’mon Lou, it’s getting late,” Harry said with a quiet laugh as he moved his hand to Louis’ back, rubbing it gently.

Louis let out a quiet breath and small groan as he slowly cracked his eyes open, the light from the tv in the otherwise dark room too bright for him. But then he tried to hide his face in a couch cushion, wanting to escape the light. As he did that though it wasn’t the couch his face was buried in, but Harry’s neck. His head was resting on the younger lad’s shoulder, basically half his body was with Harry’s arm wrapped around him. And just at noticing their position Louis’ eyes snapped open and he quickly sat up and away from him.

“Sorry, sorry!” he rushed out, scootching away.

“It’s more than alright,” Harry said softly as he offered the older lad small smile. “To be honest I didn’t really want to wake you up but I saw the time and figured you should get Holden home.”

Louis let out a few deep breaths as he nodded to himself and looked to the other side of the couch where his son was sound asleep. “Yeah, uhm thanks,” he said quietly before pushing himself off the couch and walking towards Holden.

Harry got up with him, looking around the living room and seeing if anything belonged to them or if they had to take something home. “I can walk you guys down to the car,” he said, picking up their pumpkins from the dining room table.

Louis nodded at the younger lad as he balanced the toddler in his arms and slipped his shoes on. He managed to get Holden in his coat but decided to just carry the 3 year old’s shoes and his coat down to the car.

“Today was really great,” Harry said happily once they were in the lift and heading down.

Louis hummed his agreement, watching as the numbers got lower and lower, waiting for the doors to open.

“So I was thinking…” Harry began quietly.

“Well that’s always dangerous,” Louis teased slightly as the doors opened in front of him and he walked out.

Harry rolled his eyes playfully as he followed the older lad out and caught up to walk next to him. “Well I’m writing my new album so I’ll be at the recording studio a lot, and I just wanted to tell you that if you or Holden ever want to come down to maybe see everything or kind of hang out you could.”

“I know very well how the recording process goes,” Louis said as they made their way outside, thinking back to Harry’s first album and how he tried to be as present as he could for the younger lad. “But I’m sure Holden would love that,” he said through a soft smile. “M’not so sure if he’ll be paying attention to you or the countless buttons he’ll be able to press though.”

“Fine by me as long as you’re both there,” Harry said through a small grin as he balanced the pumpkins as best he could so he could open the door for Louis.

Louis bit back his growing smile as he leaned into the car and tried to buckle Holden into his seat without waking the 3 year old. And thankfully he managed to do it as Harry walked to the other side of the car and put their pumpkins in.

“I uhm… I have something for you,” Louis said quietly once Holden’s door was shut and the younger lad made his way back over to him. “Uhm, here,” he said, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a flash drive. “It’s uhm… Well I used to always send you emails and I wrote to you about Holden and sent you pictures of him growing up… But since you never got them I thought I’d put them on here for you.”

Harry looked at the flash drive in Louis’ hand before slowly reaching for it and taking it from the older lad. “Louis this… You have no clue how much this means to me,” he barely whispered.

Louis bit his lip as he nodded at the younger lad and reached for his car door handle. “Uhm text me about when you’ll be in the studio and we’ll try to stop by.”

“Sure,” Harry said quietly as he watched Louis climb into his car.

Louis sent Harry a small tight lined smile as he got comfortable in his seat and with a quiet goodnight exchange between the two of them Louis backed out of his parking space and made his way towards the road. But as soon as he got stopped at a red light he didn’t waste any time before pulling out his phone.

**To Zayn: Come to the house. Urgent !!**

And when Louis pulled up to his house 20 minutes later he was more than grateful to see his best mate’s car in the driveway.

He made quick work of getting Holden inside and to bed, coming back into the living room where Zayn was waiting for him with a cup of tea.

“So what’s up?” Zayn asked as he passed the mug to the older lad and looked at him with a raised eyebrow.

“I’m a dumb and very weak man,” Louis muttered before taking a sip of his tea.

Zayn furrowed his eyebrows at his best mate confused. “Uhm… Why?”

“Because Zayn!!” Louis said like his best mate should know everything that happened today. “Harry and his stupid curls and his stupid dimples and his stupid charm and-”

“Louis what happened?” Zayn breathed out, stopping the older lad, knowing he would go on forever.

Louis wasn’t even sure if he was able to say it out loud without freaking out a second later. “W-well it was an accident and it was in the morning so my judgment was clouded and-”

“Louis,” Zayn said, rubbing a hand over his face. “Get on with it.”

“Harry and I almost kissed,” Louis said so quickly it almost sounded like a single word.

Zayn felt himself still as he looked over at Louis, the older lad looking everywhere except for him. “You what?” he barely whispered. “So you sleep over there, and then in the morning he almost kissed you.”

“But that’s the thing Zayn! I let him!! And me being my stupid self leaned in too!! And- and…-” Louis trailed off before hiding his face in his hands and letting out a loud groan.

“And you spent all day with him didn’t you?” Zayn asked with furrowed eyebrows, earning a small nod from his best mate. “Damn Lou… So you have feelings for him or what? Are you gonna make a move?”

“No,” Louis said maybe a little too quickly. “But that’s the thing all day he was flirting and touching me and I flirted back and let him hold my hand and just… Agh!!” he screamed into his hands.

“I really don’t see the problem here mate,” Zayn said as he shook his head. “I mean I know you never got over him…”

Louis rubbed his hand over his face before looking over at his best mate, the younger lad looking right back at him expectantly. “What do you want me to say?” he asked quietly. “That I never stopped having feelings for him? That I still love him?” Louis asked with raised eyebrows. “Because I don’t.”

“Louis you’re scared,” Zayn said softly, knowing his best mate didn’t want to hear it, but it was the truth. “And you’ve been terrified since he came back, but have you ever thought about giving him a second chance?”

Louis shook his head as he bit his lip and looked to hands folded into his lap. “I can’t,” he barely whispered.

“But why?” Zayn asked, reaching a handover and rubbing the older lad’s back gently.

“Zayn you know why,” Louis said with a touch of annoyance in his voice. “He left me and hurt me and-”

“Louis you know why he left,” Zayn said quietly. “You guys need to talk and clear this all up, figure out what you’re doing. Maybe you don’t want to date him, or you want to take it slow, or you just want to do something like co-parenting… But at least talk for once about what’s going on and what you want.”

Louis sat there quiet for a moment, taking in everything Zayn had said before nodding to himself. “You’re right,” he muttered, the younger lad always being the voice of reason.

Zayn laughed to himself, knowing he was. “You know what? Go now,” he said, making the older lad look at him wide eyed. “C’mon Holdens in bed, I’m here, it’s perfect.”

Louis opened and closed his mouth, not sure what he wanted. “I can’t just show up there.”

“And why can’t you?” Zayn asked with raised eyebrows. “You and I both know he wouldn’t care if you did.”

“...Fine,” Louis breathed out as he slowly pushed himself off the couch.

“There’s a good lad,” Zayn said as he offered his best mate a soft smile. “Good luck Lou,” he said sending him a wink.

Louis rolled his eyes as he pulled his coat and shoes on. “Hopefully I’ll be back soon,” he said quietly before opening the door, immediately seeing hard and fast rain coming down.

Zayn hummed to himself as he started looking for the tv remote, knowing he’d have to get comfortable because Louis could say he wouldn’t be long, but Zayn knew otherwise.

Louis looked at his best mate one more time before pulling his hood up and rushing towards his car, trying his hardest not to get soaked. And thankfully for the most part he got into his car without being completely drenched.

As Louis started the engine and pulled onto the road he tried to gather his thoughts, tried to figure out what it was he actually wanted from Harry. He didn’t know what he wanted to say the younger lad and as he drove through dark and rainy streets Louis only grew more and more lost. But there was one thing that kept running through his head, and that was the constant voice warning him that he’s been hurt before and it could happen all over again. And Louis didn’t know if he could go through that, if he could stand another heartbreak.

His thoughts were interrupted though as he heard his phone ringing, him reaching down with one hand and answering it without looking at the screen.

“Hello?”

“Louis!” Niall rushed out. “Listen I know it’s late and you have Holden but I really need your help right now.”

“Uhm, okay, what’s up?” Louis asked as he kept his eyes locked on the road, making sure to drive extra slow with how hard the rain was coming down.

“Harry needs help,” Niall said quickly into the phone, clearing sounding stressed.

“What? What happened?” Louis asked a bit worriedly.

“I don’t know he called me and he’s freaking out over some pictures of Holden or something,” Niall said, rubbing a hand over his face as he tried to get somewhere quiet to talk. “I’m at a concert with Ed in Brighton and I can’t get to him, I would if I could.”

Louis sat there quiet for a second, finding himself speeding up just a bit more to get to Harry quicker. “Over pictures?” he asked quietly, thinking to the flash drive he gave the younger lad. “I’m actually on my way over there now…”

“Really?” Niall asked not believing it. “Well good,” he breathed out relieved. “But yeah just calm him down and text me later, yeah?”

“Course,” Louis said, and with that he said goodbye to the younger lad and threw his phone on the passenger seat so he could drive with both hands.

He found himself rushing through the rain to get to Harry’s building and once there nearly ran inside to avoid getting wet. Louis made his way into the lift, his heart beginning to beat faster and faster the closer he got.

He didn’t know why Harry would be upset about pictures, and on top of that he still had to talk to the younger lad and clear everything up without himself breaking down. So when the lift doors opened to reveal Harry’s flat Louis let out a deep breath before making his way towards the living room.

Before even stepping foot into the room though Louis could hear quiet crying, but once he actually caught sight of the younger lad his heart nearly dropped.

He could see Harry on his computer, just scrolling through pictures before picking up his beer, taking a huge gulp of it before sniffling to himself and wiping his eyes. And Louis didn’t want to startle him, thought it would only make things worse.

“Uhm, Harry…” he said softly, carefully stepping towards the couch in front of the curly haired lad.

Harry’s head snapped up to him, his eyes going wide before he got off the couch and rushed towards the older lad.

Louis stood there startled for a second as he felt Harry’s arms wrap around him, his head tucked into his neck and quiet cries escaping him. But it was only a moment later he carefully brought up his own arms and hugged him back, letting out a deep breath as he rested his head on the younger lad’s shoulder.

“L-Louis I’m sorry. I-I’m so so sorry,” Harry hiccuped into his neck, refusing to let him go.

“Harry what’s wrong?” Louis asked softly as he rubbed the curly haired lad’s back, needing him to calm down.

“I-I left,” Harry barely managed to choke out. “I-I just left the two of you a-and I wasn’t t-there for you o-or w-when he grew up. I-I-”

“Harry,” Louis said, stopping Harry and slightly pulling way to look at him. “I didn’t want you to get upset…” he said quietly.

Harry shook his head as he pulled away from the older lad completely and tried to even his breathing. “W-why didn’t you ever tell me? When you found out, just why?” he asked, looking at Louis with pleading eyes, this question running through his head ever since he found out about Holden.

Louis opened his mouth as he looked right back at the younger lad, feeling his words get caught in his throat. “Harry I was terrified…” he barely whispered. “Y-you were always traveling and getting more famous, a-and we were only together for a year and you barely had enough time for me let alone a baby.”

“That’s not true and you know it,” Harry said, shaking his head again and locking his eyes on the older lad. “I would’ve dropped everything for you, for him, and I told you that.”

“I-I couldn’t let you,” Louis said, feeling tears pool in his eyes. “Harry I couldn’t let you drop everything, couldn’t let you give something like that up.”

“So what? Y-you thought you could just hide that you were pregnant from me?” Harry asked shakily.

And again Louis opened his mouth, absolutely nothing coming out as he thought back to all those years ago, how scared he was to tell Harry, how he thought he would ruin everything Harry had worked so hard for.

“Louis… Please say something,” Harry nearly begged, needing them to talk about this, needing the older lad to explain.

Louis swallowed thickly as his gaze shifted to the floor, now finding himself unable to look at the younger lad. “Harry I loved you so much, y-you don’t even know...” he barely whispered. “I-I didn’t want to get hurt, I didn’t want you to have to choose.”

Harry shook his head as he bit his lip and combed his fingers through his hair, needing to calm down before he started screaming.

Louis came first, that’s how it’s always been and he should’ve known that. Harry told him countless times, and he meant it every time he said it. Before he got signed he said it, while he was touring with Ed and when he recorded his first album he said it. And yet Louis still didn’t get, to this day he still doesn’t.

“Louis it’s always been you…” Harry said quietly as he looked back to the older lad. “It always will be…”

“Harry how can I believe you when you say that?” Louis barely whispered, finally picking his head and looking at the younger lad through tear filled eyes. “Do you understand what you did to me…? Do you know how much it hurt to watch you so easily walk away from what we had?”

“Y-you think that was easy for me?” Harry asked, feeling his heart nearly break all over again at the mere memory of that day all those years ago.

Louis shook his head as he backed away from Harry, needing to get out of there. He doesn’t know why he came, why he thought they could talk about this. “I shouldn’t have come, I’m sorry,” he said before quickly turning around and heading towards the lift.

“Louis, stop!” Harry said, almost jogging after the older lad. “You can’t keep running away from this, please just talk to me, we can figure this out.”

“Figure what out Harry?” Louis asked as he sniffled to himself, pressing the lift button over and over again, hoping it would come faster.

“Us,” Harry answered him, grabbing his hand to stop him. “There’s no denying we fucked up all those years ago, but what about now? What about what happened today, you can’t just forget about that.”

Louis pulled his hand out of Harry’s as he shook his head, himself never actually deciding what he wanted. And he didn’t even need to answer before the lift doors open, him quickly stepping inside and pressing the button to go down. But before the lift went anywhere Harry stepped in.

“Louis,” Harry said firmly as he reached for his arm, wanting the older lad to actually listen to him.

“What?” Louis asked maybe a bit too sharply as he wiped away the tears that escaped him.

“Just talk to me…” Harry said softly. “Tell me how you feel, or what you want from me or just anything,” he nearly pleaded. “Tell me you still love me…”

Louis stilled for a mere second before shaking his head and biting his lip, willing his tears to stop. But thankfully the doors opened, revealing the lobby, and Louis didn’t waste a moment more before rushing out.

Harry didn’t let him get away that easy though, he followed right after the older lad, his heart pounding in his ears and his breathing coming up short as he walked after him outside into the pouring rain.

“Louis just say it!” he yelled over the rain. “That’s why you didn’t stop me this morning in the music room, why you let me hold your hand and touch you the way I did when we dated.”

“Harry stop, please,” Louis said quietly, shaking his head as he tried to get to his car, rain falling all around him and making his clothes get soaked through.

“No Louis, listen to me!” Harry said, grabbing the older lad’s arm and spinning him around to make him face him. Louis’ hair matted to his head, rain dripping off his nose and clothes completely drenched much like his own. “Tell me that for the past 4 years, even after I hurt you that you didn’t feel anything for me! Tell me that this morning you didn’t want to kiss me too!”

Louis swallowed thickly as he blinked the rain out his eyes, unable to say anything as he looked at the younger lad in front of him.

“Louis it was never over, don’t you get that?” Harry asked softly. “We still aren’t over.”

And Louis just stood there, his eyes locked on Harry. But before he could say anything, before he could even move or take a breath he felt the younger lad’s hands cup his cheeks, and a pair of lips on his.

All I Want Playlist

 

 

[Let Me Love You](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_eTytNgcYOk) [Ne-Yo-Glee Version](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_eTytNgcYOk) 3:38

[Leave Your Lover](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M8pK3KBwC84) [Sam Smith](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M8pK3KBwC84) 3:26

[The Otherside](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l4Lt4zlCb-M) [Taylor Ward](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l4Lt4zlCb-M) 2:58

[Give Your Heart A Break](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XKiUcTvr-TQ) [Glee Version](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XKiUcTvr-TQ) 3:29

[Friends](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Myaod6GC4U) [Ed Sheeran](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Myaod6GC4U) 3:09

[Make You Feel My Love](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jNBmoj32pq4) [Adele](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jNBmoj32pq4) 3:15

[Tonight](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k-6WAexAPP4) [John Legend Ft. Ludacris](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k-6WAexAPP4) 3:57

[Sometime Around Midnight](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m53cWa-CdUg) [The Airborne Toxic Event](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m53cWa-CdUg) 5:03

[Kiss Me](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MXL8BEPl-Nw) [Ed Sheeran](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MXL8BEPl-Nw) 4:35

[Infinity](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QaY1ezWUhi0) [One Direction- Slow Mode](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QaY1ezWUhi0%20%0A%0A) 5:24

[I’m Gonna Find Another You](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2EZWzq6kXVc) [John Mayer](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2EZWzq6kXVc) 2:43

[Comfortable](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BroiKmNGbfI) [John Mayer](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BroiKmNGbfI) 5:02

[Where Do Broken Heart Go](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6QpPMbzVqic) [One Direction](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6QpPMbzVqic) 3:45

[No Good in Goodbye](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZRNTOabGsDk) [The Script](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZRNTOabGsDk) 3:58

[More Time](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cnGFGkP5Enw) [Needtobreath](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cnGFGkP5Enw) 4:22

Shattered O.A.R 3:57

I’m A Mess Ed Sheeran 4:08

[I Almost Do](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ij1xADeobsg) [Taylor Swift](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ij1xADeobsg) 3:59

[Just A Little Bit Of Your Heart](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F0-50nRyuy8) [Ariana Grande](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F0-%0A%0A50nRyuy8) 3:57

[Don’t Let Me Go](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bEBzek5Hi_s%20) [Harry Styles](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bEBzek5Hi_s) 3:50

[The One](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HJ6PfUZyPGY) Kodaline 4:01

[Code by Layouttesst](http://layouttesst.livejournal.com/profile)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally it's here !!! Sorry this is such a massive chapter but I wanted to fit all of this into one. But of course I had to leave a bit of a cliffhanger ;) What do you think Louis will do with Harry kissing him ? I always love comments, kudos are cool and so are you for reading this, thanks !! Xx


	7. Chapter 7

Harry felt Louis freeze where he was, his entire body going tense as his lips were pressed to the older lad’s. But that was just before he felt Louis’ hands on his chest and the older lad shove him forcefully, making him stumble backwards and his heart stop at the sight of the blue eyed man in front of him.

Louis looked at him with a hard glare, his chest looking like it was nearly heaving with how deeply and quickly he was breathing. And Harry looked right back, his mouth opening and closing, his hair falling into his eyes from the rain and his heart nearly falling into his stomach with how the older lad wouldn’t peel his furious gaze away from him.

But then he changed from furious to something Harry didn’t know. Maybe it was confusion, maybe he was trying to convince himself to do something, but Harry didn’t care because it wasn’t even a second later he saw Louis rushing towards him, wrapping his arms around his neck and pulling him down for a hard kiss.

He felt his breath get caught in his throat, but he didn’t waste any time before snaking his arms around Louis’ waist, pulling him impossibly closer to his chest and kissing the older lad back with everything he had. And it was everything Harry had missed.

When they kissed like this when they were dating, heavy lips on each other and quiet breaths exchanged between them there was such warmth and so much comfort in it all. And within a millisecond it was back, within a moment Harry remembered just how much he felt at peace with Louis in his arms.

After years the older lad’s lips were on his, Louis’ hands all over him, in his hair, down his back, feeling everything he could as if they had seconds left together, as if this moment wouldn’t last for nearly as long as they wanted it to. But Harry wasn’t going to complain, not one bit with Louis kissing him feverishly, their noses brushing and breaths mixing hastily with how their lips were moving against each other. And to Harry there was no better feeling in the world than kissing Louis, than feeling him against him.

The way his insides curled, his skin rose with goosebumps and not from the rain, and the way he overall felt in his arms. Secure, safe, warm and loved.

And even after they pulled away, their heads leaning against one another's and breaths coming out in deep heaves the feeling didn’t leave Harry. “God I missed you,” he barely whispered, just loud enough to be heard over the pouring rain around them.

Louis stilled for a second, his own ragged breathing going quiet before he looked up at the younger lad and slowly backed away from him.

“Lou?” Harry asked quietly, noticing how the older lad was looking at him wide eyed. “Louis what’s wrong?” he asked, licking the rain away from his lips and taking a step towards him.

Louis didn’t say anything though, instead his mouth fell open and he shook his head furiously before he quickly turned around and rushed towards his car.

“Louis stop!!” Harry yelled, jogging after him. “Please you can’t leave!” he said, trying to stop the older lad from closing his car door.

And again Louis didn’t say anything but shove Harry’s away from the door, slamming it shut and roaring the engine to life.

“Would you stop?!” Harry screamed at the top of his lungs as he banged on the window and his eyes filled with tears. “L-Louis please I’m sorry!! But you can’t go! I can’t lose you again!!” he said, steady tears streaming down his face as he tried to open the door, doing everything in his power to try to get to the older lad.

Harry could barely see with how hard he was crying, with how heavily the rain was falling on him. But he could see how Louis began to back out of his parking space, and he could feel his throat tighten, his heart nearly stopping at the sight of him speeding out of the parking lot and onto the road.

He didn’t feel the way his knees hit the concrete as he collapsed, or the way his tears were falling faster than the rain. He didn’t feel the October cold freeze him right to his bones and he didn’t know how he ended up laying on the hard, wet ground. The only thing Harry could feel, the only thing he tried to scream over the rain was Louis’ name.

*~*

“Haz!!” Niall called out as he stepped into the flat.

“I’ll check the kitchen mate,” Ed said before heading in the opposite direction of the Irish lad.

Niall nodded as he made his way past the living room and towards the hallway. He never heard from Louis last night and Harry has been ignoring all of his texts and calls so he figured either something really good happened, or something went terribly wrong. Either way he had to check on his best mate and make sure he was okay.

“H!” Niall called out again, popping his head into the music room and letting out a quiet breath when he saw Harry wasn’t in there. “Mate come on, where are you?”

He made his way further down the hall, thinking maybe the younger lad was in his bed. But as soon as he stepped foot in Harry’s room it was clear he wasn’t in there either.

There was only one more place to look in the entire flat and that was the bathroom. If Harry wasn’t in there though Niall knew he wouldn’t be here at all, and then he wouldn’t have a clue as to where he could be.

“Harry?” Niall asked quietly as he pushed the bathroom door open and peeked his head in. But as soon as he saw his best mate he felt his heart stop. “Ed!!!” he screamed at the top of his lungs before rushing over to Harry and dropping to his knees.

Niall could barely feel himself breathing as he looked over Harry. His clothes soaking wet, his lips blue and what seemed like every single bottle of liquor the younger lad owned empty and scattered on floor.

“Harry!!” he said panicked as he shook his best mate. “Harry wake up! C’mon!” Niall nearly yelled as he continued to shake him and leaned down towards him to see if he was even breathing.

“What wrong?!” Ed asked as he ran into the bathroom breathless. “Oh my God…” he barely whispered, his eyes catching his best mate.

“W-what do we do?” Niall asked, his eyes brimming with tears. “Do we take him to the hospital?”

Ed opened and closed his mouth, too stuck to even say anything. “Is he breathing?” he asked quietly before dropping to his knees next to Niall.

“Yeah he is, b-but- w-what do we do?” Niall stuttered out, his eyes setting back on Harry.

“Get him out of those clothes, we need to warm him up,” Ed rushed out before running back into Harry’s bedroom and getting him new clothes. “Turn the bath on!” he yelled.

Niall quickly nodded before gently placing Harry down and rushing towards the bathtub.”Are you sure we shouldn’t take him to the hospital?” he asked nervously as he glanced back down at his motionless and unconscious best mate.

“I-I don’t know,” Ed said shakily as he came back into the room with fresh clothes. “We’ll give it 10 minutes and if he doesn’t wake up then yes,” he said before going over to Harry and carefully began pulling his shirt over his head.

Niall looked down at his best mate and he couldn’t help but wonder what happened last night, where things went terribly wrong. But he couldn’t dwell and think about that as he saw Ed finish taking Harry’s clothes off and trying to get him in the tub.

The tub was only half full but he helped him in anyway, his mind racing with things they should do or if they should call someone. But there was definitely a certain someone Niall wanted to call, figuring he would be the only person who knows what happened to Harry last night.

“You have him?” Niall asked as he slowly took his hands off of Harry.

“Yeah, yeah I got him,” Ed said, trying to keep the younger lad upright in the tub. “C’mon H, wake up,” he muttered to himself, scooping up some of the water and gently splashing it on his face.

Niall bit his lip nervously as he looked down at him, finding it impossible to stop himself when he began pacing in the small room. “I should have been here, this never would’ve happened if I was here,” he said quickly as he shook his head and ran his fingers through his hair frustratedly.

“You don’t know that Ni,” Ed said softly. “You said Louis was already on his way here, something probably happened between them…”

“I’m gonna kill him,” Niall muttered angrily under his breath. “I swear next time I see him I’m gonna kill him.”

“You don’t even know what they fought about, or if they fought,” Ed said, trying to calm the Irish lad down as he kept gently splashing water at Harry.

Niall shook his head again, not even needing to think that Harry was like this because of Louis. That the older lad yet again broke his heart and drove Harry to drink himself numb.

“Ni! Ni!” Ed said quickly, seeing Harry move and hearing him let out a quiet groan.

“Harry!” Niall said, rushing over to the tub and leaning down towards his best mate and cupped his cheeks to make him look at him, only to earn a groan from the younger lad. “H, wake up.”

Niall kept his eyes locked Harry, watching his face scrunch up and his eyes squeeze shut. But before he even opened his eyes, before he made another sound Niall saw the younger lad’s lip wobble and silent tears escaping him.

“N-Niall,” Harry barely managed out and he rested his head against his best mate, unable to stop his stream of tears.

“It’s okay mate, it’s okay,” Niall said softly as he carefully wrapped his arms around Harry. “Are you warm enough? Do you feel sick?”

“N-no,” Harry hiccuped into Niall’s shoulder. “I-I feel l-like crying,” he said, letting his tears come out faster and faster.

Niall let out a small breath as he rubbed his best mate’s back gently, trying and wanting him to calm down. “Ed go downstairs and talk to Roy, see if he knows what happened last night,” he said, earning a quick nod from the ginger haired lad.

And just as Ed left if possible Harry only began to cry more the memory of last night, playing it over and over again in his mind.

“Come on mate, let’s get some clothes on you and make sure you’re warm,” Niall said softly before helping the younger lad get up from the tub, making sure Harry wouldn’t step on any of the many bottles that littered the floor.

“I-I don’t e-even care, j-just leave me a-alone,” Harry hiccuped out as Niall tried to dress him.

“Harry don’t do this,” Niall said quietly.

He couldn’t help to think back to all those years ago when him and Louis broke up. How Harry didn’t care about anything or anyone, how he was cold and distant for what seemed like a lifetime. And Niall couldn’t let him go back to that, he doesn’t know what he would do if Harry did.

So he just dressed the younger lad and got him into his bed, Harry’s cries never stopping as he shoved his face into his pillow and clutched his blankets.

Niall looked at his best mate, his heart breaking over and over again for him and he doesn’t even know what happened yet. But he knew it had to do with Louis, and he figured that yet again the older lad had hurt his best mate beyond repair.

“Ni,” Ed said quietly, coming back into the room. “So I talked to Roy and he told me that he saw Harry and Louis go outside, they both seemed upset and Harry was basically running after Louis, trying to get him to talk to him… He said he didn’t see either of them come back in for about two hours, but when he looked at one of the security cameras he saw a body just laying in the middle of the parking lot, so he ran outside and found Harry just laying there in the rain and crying “Louis” over and over again… After he found him he just brought him up here and asked if Harry needed help or wanted him to call someone but he yelled for him to get out.”

Niall had to bite his lip so he wouldn’t scream how furious he was, how angry he was with Louis for leaving Harry like that. And when he looked back to his best mate, him sobbing into his pillows and trying to hold anything within reach it was clear just how hurt and heartbroken he was.

But Niall wasn’t going to let him go through this again, wasn’t going to let his best mate drown and numb himself in drinks, especially when Harry had Holden. That was the only thing that gave him hope. That Harry wouldn’t go back to his old ways because he had his son. But Niall didn’t even know what happened last night, or if Louis would let Harry see Holden at all. All he could do was hope and try to talk to the older lad and figure this all out.

*~*

Harry bit his lip as he brought up his hand and knocked gently on the door. His stomach twisting into knots from both how nauseous he felt and his nerves taking over his entire body.

Just at being back at this house he wanted to cry. On the way here it felt near impossible not to but he managed to choke it back, his eyes needing to be clear so he wouldn’t get in an accident.

But now he was outside the all too familiar brick house, his eyes pooling with tears as he brought up his hand and knocked again. “L-Louis,” Harry hiccupped just loud enough. “P-please I-I just w-want to talk,” he said, knocking over and over again but getting no answer.

And his knocks turned to banging the longer he stood outside, getting more and more frustrated with no one answering the door. But just as Harry was sure he was close to breaking the door down he remembered it was Monday, and that meant Louis was teaching and Holden was at daycare or went to work with Louis.

So Harry didn’t waste a second before rushing to his car and speeding it to the high school, wanting nothing more than to talk to Louis, to have him explain why he left.

And the entire time he drove his mind was constantly racing with the thought of how badly he had screwed up, if he was ever going to see Holden again or ever even talk to Louis again. But when he pulled up to the high school 10 minutes later Harry quickly made his way inside the building, needing answers from the older lad.

“Don’t forget to sign in dear!”

Harry stopped himself just as he was about to walk past the main office and let out a deep breath before heading over to the secretary to sign his name in.

“And who are you here to see?” she asked, not looking up from the pass she was writing out for the younger lad.

“Louis Tomlinson,” Harry muttered as he signed his name, and put the date and time down.

“Oh, Harry Styles,” the secretary said, finally looking up. “Uhm Mr. Tomlinson has requested you not be let in if you’re here to see him…” she said quietly.

Harry snapped his head up, his face turning hard as he looked at the woman in front of him. “He what?” he asked through gritted teeth.

“I’m sorry, but I can’t let you in,” she said, biting her lip and looking up at the younger lad a bit nervously.

Harry wanted to throw something, he wanted to scream and break everything in sight at those words. But instead he settled on something else. “Fine, I’m going to see Niall Horan then.”

The secretary looked at him for a moment before letting out a quiet breath and nodding. “He has a class right now so I’ll have to escort you there and make sure he’s okay with you stopping in.”

Harry scoffed and rolled his eyes, not believing this was actually happening. That Louis requested he not even be permitted into the building, he was that desperate not to talk to him.

But he followed the secretary to Niall’s room anyway, of course passing by Louis’ and just at hearing the older lad’s voice through the door he felt tears welling in his eyes. And even if this middle aged woman kept looking back at him worriedly Harry didn’t try to stop his silent tears.

When they got to Niall’s room though Harry didn’t waste any time before walking past the secretary and pushing the door open, only to make his best mate’s head snap up at him.

“Harry?” Niall asked with furrowed eyebrows as he dropped his arm and placed his baton down on the music stand in front of him. But as soon as he saw the younger lad’s tear stained cheeks and the way he looked like he was about to collapse Niall panicked. “Class cancelled! Don’t put away your instruments, I will, just go!” he rushed out before nearly jogging to his best mate and wrapping his arms around him.

The kids looked around confused for a moment before they slowly picked up their things and shuffled out of the room, eyeing the two curiously as they walked out.

“H what’s going on? You okay? You feel sick or anything?” Niall asked worriedly, not knowing if Harry had a couple beers, maybe drunk something else and wasn’t in the right state of mind.

“N-Niall,” Harry hiccuped out as he tucked his head into his best mate’s neck, trying to muffle his cries. “I-I want this t-to stop. H-How do I-I make i-it s-stop?”

Niall looked around his room, grateful his class had actually left when he told them to. “Make what stop H?” he asked softly before carefully leading the younger lad to a chair and gently sitting him down.

Harry shook his head quickly as he hid his face in his hands and tried to hold back his choked sobs. “I-I dont w-want t-to feel t-this w-way,” he barely managed to get out.

Niall almost heard his heart break as he took a seat in a chair next to his best mate and pulled him into his side, letting him cry on his shoulder. He spent all day yesterday with Harry doing this exact thing, just letting him cry and cry and doing everything in his power to keep the younger lad away from the liquor cabinet. And again Niall was reminded of all those years ago when Louis and Harry split up, when he could barely stand to see his best mate in so much pain.

“N-Niall w-what am I supposed t-to do?” Harry hiccuped out as he felt his best mate pull him impossibly closer. “H-he won’t l-let me see him a-and what about H-Holden? H-He won’t answer m-my text o-or my calls, I-I-”

“You gotta breathe H, c’mon,” Niall said softly as he rubbed the younger lad’s back, hearing him get more and more choked up. “I tried to talk to him this morning but his door was locked… It has been all day, I think he’s trying to keep me out too…”

“Niall he told the secretary not to let me in the fucking building if I was here to see him!!” Harry said, suddenly raising his voice and rubbing his hands over his face frustratedly.

Niall looked at Harry a bit shocked and couldn’t help but grow more furious with the older lad. Harry had told him the entire story of what happened on Saturday night and the more he listened it felt impossible to stop himself from growing to hate Louis for what he did to his mate, for what he’s been doing to him for years now.

“Do I stop by his house? Do I try to talk to him tonight?” Harry asked through a shaky breath as he wiped his wet cheeks, trying to calm himself down.

“I uhm… Well I talk to Zayn today, and he told me Louis won’t answer the door if you go to his house… He doesn’t want to see you...” Niall said quietly.

“Why is he doing this?!” Harry nearly screamed as he abruptly stood up from his seat and started pacing. “He kissed me!! He came over to my flat to talk about our relationship and then pulls this shit!!!”

Niall carefully reached for the older lad and tugged on his arm, wanting him to sit back down and calm down a bit. “I know H, I know…” he said softly. “Maybe you both need time to think about what you really want… Maybe Louis realized after you guys kissed he doesn’t actually want to be with you but didn’t know how to tell you…”

“I-I know what I want,” Harry said as he bit his lip, willing his tears to stop. “I-I want him a-and Holden, that’s it… T-that’s all I want…”

Niall watched as his best mate hid his face in his hands and let out even more cries, having no clue what to say or do to help him. He didn’t know if he could at this point.

*~*

“Daddy?” Holden asked quietly, looking up at his father through his eyelashes.

“What?” Louis asked, forking some more food into his mouth, not picking his head up.

The toddler bit his lip, his daddy being upset for a couple days now and he didn’t want to make him more sad, but he wanted to know something. “Where Harry?”

Louis stilled for a second, this not being the first time Holden has brought him up, but he hoped soon that the 3 year old would stop asking. “Harry’s at work,” he breathed out, this being the same excuse he uses whenever Holden asks.

“But he say that when I want to see him you call him so he come over,” Holden said as he looked down at his plate. “He no come over to dinner for forever.”

“It’s only been four days H, it’s fine.”

“Can I call him? I miss Harry, I want to talk to him,” Holden said softly as he saw his daddy get a little annoyed, but he really wanted to talk to the curly haired man.

“You need to finish eating,” Louis said plainly before he stood up from his own seat and brought his dishes into the kitchen.

“But daddy can I-”

“No, eat,” Louis stopped him, not wanting Holden to ask to call Harry again.

Holden’s face dropped, his lip quivering and eyes filling with tears as he hopped out of his booster seat and ran for the stairs to go to his room, unable to stop himself from crying as he went.

“Holden wait!” Louis said quickly, trying to catch up with his son

“N-no!!” Holden said as he ran up the stairs, not wanting to talk to his daddy.

Louis felt his body freeze as he watched his son run up the stairs and slam his door once he got to his room. His heart was already broken but if possible he felt it break even more at the sight of the 3 year old.

He didn’t know how he was supposed to do this, if he could at all. Harry flooded his mind constantly, the way their lips felt pressed together like they had all those years ago. That toe curling feeling and the immediate warmth that washed over him when he was in the younger lad’s arms even in the freezing rain. But he couldn’t go back, no matter how badly he wanted to.

*~*

“Harry?”

Just at his name Harry grumbled and rolled over in bed, his eyes still stinging, his throat numb and nose runny. But nowadays that was normal. “What?”

Clara bit her lip as she walked into the room. Her eyes landing on too many colorings to count that a child clearly did scattered all over the younger lad’s bed and bottles of empty liquor on his bedside tables.

“Ed called me,” she said quietly as she took a careful seat on the bed. “He told me what happened, and I just wanted to check on you… So how are you?”

“How do you think I am?” Harry nearly spat through his teeth as he sat up to look at her. “I haven’t seen my son in nearly a week, the guy I love refuses to talk to me and I’ve been banned from entering the high school for showing up too many times!”

Clara looked at the younger lad softly before she shifted her eyes to the drawings on the bed, seeing Holden’s name very messily scribbled on the corner of all of them. “Have you tried going to his house?”

“No, I never thought of that,” Harry said sarcastically as he scoffed and crossed his arms over his chest. “Everytime I go over there I knock on the door and ring the bell but I’m not even there for 10 minutes before Louis’ mate shows up and tells me to leave…”

“Is he some big guy? I mean what’s he going to do to you?” Clara asked, knowing Harry was very persistent if he wanted something desperately. She wouldn’t expect him to leave that easily.

“He’s not big but I’m sure he could kill me…” Harry muttered, just thinking about how scary Zayn is with his hard glare and the way he looks like he’s ready to throw a punch any second.

Clara just looked at Harry for a moment, her eyes trained on him and it was impossible to miss the way he bit his lip and focused his gaze away from her, trying desperately to hold back tears.

“W-when he and I broke up I couldn’t, I-I… I felt like I could barely breathe…” Harry said just loud enough for Clara to hear, feeling his eyes pool with those all too familiar tears. “A-and now I don’t have him o-or Holden, a-and I can’t do any of this…” he said, his shoulders shaking as brought up his hands to muffle his cries.

“Harry…” Clara said softly as she shifted on the bed to sit next to the younger lad and rub his back softly. “What can I do for you? Please tell me anything so I don’t have to see you like this…”

“G-get them back for me,” Harry sobbed into his hands.

Clara opened her mouth, finding it impossible to say anything. Now she understood what Niall and Ed were talking about when they said that Harry seemed beyond repair, that if possible his heart was broken yet again with even more dents and bruises that were there before.

“You know I can’t do that Harry,” Clara said softly. “But you really need to get all your feelings out, did you try writing? That usually helps you…”

Harry didn’t nod, instead he reached for his bedside table and passed Clara his pages upon pages of lyrics that he’s written in the past week. They were all his thoughts, all his doubts and feelings written down, and for once Harry found that writing wasn’t helping him, but actually making him realize everything he’s lost.

“Maybe you should go to the studio…” Clara suggested gently. “Record a few things or just get a change of environment. That might help a little bit.”

“I think I’d rather rather numb the pain, thanks,” Harry breathed out as he shifted on his bed and looked through the bottles on his bedside table, trying to find one that wasn’t empty.

“Harry stop,” Clara said, already getting up and picking up all the bottles, “Get up, take a shower, and get dressed. I’ll wait for you in the living room and I’m taking you to the studio, no objections,” she said sternly.

Harry looked up at her and it was very clear she wasn’t kidding, so he let out an annoyed grumble before swinging his legs over his bed and looked around his room for some clothes that were actually clean. But even if he was getting out of his flat and wasn’t leaving to stand outside the school or Louis’ house Harry was sure that going to the studio and recording the words that made him cry himself to sleep wouldn’t help either.

*~*

Louis shifted his glasses on his nose as he turned his volume on his phone up just a bit more, trying to hear the radio clearly in the silent room.

Maybe grading wouldn’t be so awful if he had something playing the background, or maybe grading was more agonizingly painful now because he’s been feeling terrible for the past two weeks.

Sleeping is something foreign to him, Holden will barely even talk to him and he’s sure his eyes are going to be permanently pink and puffy from crying so much. And maybe he deserves this. This is what he gets for leaving Harry like that, but no matter how many times he thinks he should go to his flat, should answer the door when the younger lad comes over there’s always that voice in his head telling him no. And Louis wonders if there will ever come a day he can silence that voice, if there’s ever a day he can fight what's been scaring him for years.

But of course just as he’s trying to push the younger lad out of his thoughts he hears his name on the radio.

_“Now you and Harry Styles are good mates aren’t you? Has he helped you with your new album at all? I know he wrote for your last one.”_

Louis picked his head up as he heard the host of the show, Julian, talking to who he thought was Sam Smith.

_“Yeah Harry’s been a good mate of mine for a couple years now,” Sam confirmed with a small grin. “He did write my single I’m Not The Only One on my last album, and I actually ran into him a couple times at the studio this past week. He’s uhm… Well he’s been writing a lot and he actually gave me about three of his songs for me to put on my new album.”[(X)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nwxaK3IUlag) [(X)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K75A16HRdBY)_

_“Really? He gave you three? That’s quite a lot, isn’t he working on his own album?” Julian questioned confused. “I know him and Ed Sheeran released a song about three weeks back and it quickly climbed to number 1 on the charts, but you’d think he would want his songs for himself.”_

_“Well like I said he’s been writing a lot and he’s working through some stuff right now so I think he gave me the songs that reminded him most of what’s happening,” Sam said quietly. “Every time he looked down at his lyrics I swear he was about to cry, so he just gave some of them to me.”_

_“Heartbroken Harry, it’s not the first time we’ve seen him like this huh?” Julian asked almost through a small laugh. “Why doesn’t he just go back out to the clubs, and pick someone up? Isn’t that what got him over that slump years ago?”_

_“He never got over his “slump”,” Sam said a bit annoyed. “And Harry never actually went home with any of those people might I add… So to all of you that think of him like that need to get it out of your heads. He hasn’t so much as kissed someone in nearly 5 years.”_

Louis sat there completely frozen as he heard the two men on the radio go back and forth. If anything this made him want to crawl under a rock more than he already had but for some reason he just couldn’t turn it off. He heard them talk about Harry and sleeping around, Sam continuing to press the fact that Harry hasn’t been with anyone in years but Julian still didn’t seem convinced. So instead they moved it to the actual reason of the interview and talked about Sam’s upcoming album.

_“So with the songs Harry gave you are you going to put them on the album?”_

_“Yeah, they’re really great, I wouldn’t want them to go to waste,” Sam nodded to himself._

_“Care to give us a taste? Maybe we can get a better understanding of how Harry’s really feeling,” Julian suggested._

_“... Uhm yeah, sure,” Sam breathed out. “I actually have the songs he gave me in my pocket,” he said, pulling the lyrics out. “Now fair warning to everyone it’s pretty sad, but beautiful,” Sam said through a quiet laugh. “I’m just going to read off it, I don’t have music or anything yet.”_

Louis didn’t know if he wanted to listen, if he could bear to hear anything Harry wrote because more than half the time it left him in tears. But after the way he hurt Harry he was sure after hearing this he would need to go home so he wouldn’t be sobbing in front of his next class.

_[(X)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hQNNm0acHE4)“Yes, I do, I believe that one day I will be, where I was, right there, right next to you. And it’s hard, the days just seem so dark, the moon, the stars are nothing without you. Your touch, your skin, where do I begin? No words can explain the way I’m missing you. Deny this emptiness, this hole that I’m inside. These tears, they tell their own story. You told me not to cry when you were gone… But the feeling’s overwhelming it’s much too strong… Can I lay by your side, next to you, you? And make sure you’re alright? I’ll take care of you… I don’t want to be here if I can’t be with you tonight…”_

_“... And that’s without music,” Julian barely whispered._

_“That’s only part of it, and I have two more songs just as heartbreaking,” Sam said as he bit his lip._

_“Well Harry Styles wherever you are I hope the person that made you feel this way either comes sprinting back to you for being so awful or you find someone who treats you right.”_

Louis didn’t even try to stop his tears as they fell, his head hidden in his arms and heart barely beating. All he wanted to do was go home and cry and drink and pretend that none of this was really happening. He wanted to pretend that Harry never left all those years ago, that they were happy, that they were a family and everything was okay. But absolutely nothing was okay, and he made sure of it.

“Decided not to lock your door today huh?”

Louis snapped his head up, his eyes immediately meeting a nearly scowling Niall. “Niall I-”

“No, shut up,” Niall said angrily as he walked towards the older lad and stood directly in front of him. “He took a chance on you Louis and you threw it right back in his face! What the fuck is wrong with you?!” he nearly spat through his teeth.

Louis swallowed thickly as he wiped his wet cheeks, the younger lad nearly killing him with his eyes. “W-we kissed and I… I knew he could just leave like he did-”

“Louis you’re all he fucking thinks about!!” Niall yelled, wanting to scream at the older lad for well over a week now for what he did to his best mate. “You have been for the past 4 fuckin years and because of you he drinks to drown out the thought of you and the pain you caused him!! And I didn’t want him to go back to the way he was before, but you made damn sure to break his heart even more this time didn’t you?!”

Niall just stared at Louis, his chest nearly heaving with how heavily he was breathing. And the older lad didn’t say anything, instead he was visibly shaking from how much he was crying, but if anything that’s what Niall wanted to see. He wanted to know that Louis didn’t come out of this without feeling guilty.

“You know if you didn’t have Holden I would tell you to stay the hell away from him after the shit you pulled…After the way you hurt him,” Niall said quietly as he shook his head at the older lad.

“But Niall the first time he left me!! He didn’t even let me-”

“The first time you were a coward and a liar and I am sick and tired of picking up after your messes!!” Niall yelled, making Louis jump in his seat. “I’m tired of seeing my best mate nearly drink himself to death so he won’t feel the way he does, so he’ll forget you!!! Man up and tell him how you feel or stay the fuck away from him!! Let him see his Goddamn son and have the fucking decency to stop torturing him with all your miscommunication and running away bull shit!!!” he screamed at the top of his lungs, almost feeling his own tears escape at the thought of how much pain Harry was in, how much pain he’s been in for years.

But with that Niall stomped out of the room, slamming the door behind him and leaving a silently crying Louis behind him.

*~*

“Daddy?” Holden said confused as he saw his father rush into daycare. “Daddy what you doing here?”

“Come on, we’re going home,” Louis said through a quiet sniffle as he scooped up his son and made quick work of signing him out and grabbing Holden’s things.

“Daddy we no even have snack time yet and I want to play,” Holden whined as his father carried him out to the car.

“Well daddy doesn’t feel good and uncle Zayn couldn’t get you so we’re going home,” Louis breathed out  as he rushed to the car and got his son buckled in his seat.

Holden furrowed his eyebrows but he had to wait until his daddy was in his own seat to ask him anything. “Why you no feel good?” he asked worriedly.

“I just don’t buddy,” Louis said, his eyes still feeling like they were stinging from when Niall screamed at him in his classroom. But after that happened and he cried for nearly an hour he called out sick, cancelled his classes and didn’t waste a moment before picking Holden up. So now here they were.

“Daddy you sick?” Holden asked quietly, wanting to help him if he wasn’t feeling good.

“Something like that…” Louis muttered as he kept his eyes on the road, wanting nothing more than to just sit at home, let Holden play in his room and maybe cry until he passes out.

“You need soup and nap,” Holden said as he nodded to himself and watch as his daddy zoomed down the streets.

Louis didn’t say anything but let out another deep breath and nod, knowing he desperately needed sleep after not getting a restful night for well over a week and a half.

Holden kept his eyes on his daddy’s seat in front of him, biting his lip before looking back out his window to watch the buildings pass by. His daddy hasn’t seemed very happy for a little while and he always looks tired now, Holden wanted to know what was wrong. But what made him sad was that he hasn’t been able to see Harry for a long time, and he can’t ask his daddy to see him because he always gets upset.

Just as his daddy stopped at a light though Holden noticed someone in the car next to them. “Space car…” he barely whispered. “Space car!!!” Holden nearly screamed, seeing Harry in the car next to them.

Louis quickly looked over, his heart dropping into his stomach at Harry being in the lane right next to them. But luckily the younger lad hadn't noticed him, and he intended to keep it that way as he shielded the side of his face on the window side.

“Harry!!” Holden yelled, desperately trying to press his button to get the window down. “Harry! Harry!!” he screamed, feeling tears prickle in his eyes as the window wouldn’t move and he wanted the older man’s attention.

He just wanted to talk to him, to see him because it felt like he hadn’t in forever. And if his daddy was trying to shush him, trying to make him stop Holden wouldn’t.

“H-Harry!!” Holden said through a small cry as he hit his little hand on the window over and over again.

“Holden stop it now,” Louis said, turning around and trying to get his son to stop banging on the window.

“No!!” Holden screamed, his tears rolling down his cheeks as he hit his daddy’s hand away and kept pounding on the glass. “H-H-Harry!!” he cried out.

Louis didn’t know what to do as he watched his son sobbing in the backseat, but when he turned back around in his seat he didn’t waste a second before turning right on the red light, needing to get out of there before Harry turned to look at the car.

“Daddy!!” Holden yelled, kicking his father’s seat as he drove away. “I-I want H-Harry!!” he said through a choked sob as he saw his daddy driving further and further away from the older man.

“Holden stop,” Louis barely said loud enough for his son to hear as he reached behind his seat to grab the toddler’s legs, wanting his legs to stop kicking.

“N-no!!” Holden said, his tears streaming faster and faster as he kicked his little legs harder. “H-Harry,” he hiccuped, throwing his head back against his seat and letting out a loud cry.

Louis quickly pulled his hand away, the toddler kicking it and he was sure if he kept it there Holden would’ve broken it from how hard he was kicking. “You need to relax Holden, I’m sure that wasn’t even Harry.”

“Daddy s-stop!!” Holden screamed as he wiped his wet cheeks, only for more tears to fall. “T-that Harry space car!! I see him!!”

Louis bit his lip, trying desperately to keep his own tears back as he heard his son and he was the one who did this to him, who made him this upset. He was worried it would be Harry who would one day hurt Holden like this, but it was actually him doing this to his son, and Louis couldn’t do any of this anymore. After what Niall said and after making his son cry like this all because he was scared, none of this was worth it. And when he pulled up to their house 10 minutes later Holden was still crying his eyes out, but Louis knew what he had to do.

“Come on H,” he said quietly as he unbuckled the toddler and pulled him into his chest.

“N-n-no!!!” Holden cried out, doing everything in his power to try to get out of his daddy’s arms as he picked him up. He hit his chest, kicked his legs and wiggled in his father’s arms but nothing seemed to work.

“Holden stop it,” Louis said firmly as he only tightened his grip and he made his way towards the door, trying to ignore the toddler hitting and kicking him.

Holden didn’t do anything but hit and kick his father more as he carried him into the house, wanting nothing more than to get out of his arms. He didn’t try to quiet his sobs and didn’t stop wiggling in his father’s arms when they were in the house and his daddy tried to keep him from moving. But when he was flailing his arms, his tears blurring his vision he hit his daddy in the face, and even when he realized he did he didn’t stop.

“Holden that’s enough!” Louis said angrily, clutching his nose after his son had basically punched him.

Holden coughed and hiccuped a few times as his father put him down and he didn’t waste a second before hitting his daddy’s leg one more time and looking up at him through tear filled eyes. “I-I hate you!!” he screamed, pointing an angry finger at him before letting out a loud cry and running towards the stairs to get to his room, slamming the door shut behind him.

Louis froze where he was, hearing his breaking heart shatter at what his son had just said. He hates him… He had actually pushed and hurt Holden so much where he felt that he hated him. And Louis knew he was 3 and that he can be over dramatic, but Holden has a reason to hate him. He’s been deliberately keeping Harry from him, he’s been distant and cold towards his son and he hasn’t listened to him when Holden just wanted to talk.

So when Louis pulled his phone out of his pocket, his hands shaking and silent tears falling onto the screen he knew he had to fix this. He had to stop breaking his own heart, Harry’s heart and most importantly Holden’s heart.

**To Harry: Holden needs you.**

*~*

Harry skid his car into Louis’ driveway, his breathing coming out in heaves as he rushed out of the car and sprinted towards the door before nearly pounding on it.

It wasn’t even 15 minutes ago he got Louis’ text and ran out of his lunch with Clara, racing over to his house and not paying any mind to traffic laws to get there as quickly as possible. And when the older lad answered the door, his eyes red and puffy, Harry didn’t even let him talk before shoving past him and nearly running up the stairs and to Holden’s room, able to hear him cry all the way from down stairs.

As soon as he opened the door though he felt his breath hitch at the sight of the toddler. His cries muffled into his pillow, his little hands clutching his blankets and it was clear from the state of the room that Holden had thrown a few things around.

Harry carefully walked towards the bed, taking a gentle seat on it but as soon as he did that Holden only cried harder. He swallowed thickly, feeling his own tears pool his eyes as he reached a careful hand over and gently rubbed the 3 year old’s back.

He hasn’t seen Holden in two weeks and that by itself broke his heart. But seeing him like this… It was something Harry couldn’t bear.

“Holden…” he said softly, trying to get him to sit up so he could look at him.

Holden picked his little head up as he sniffled to himself, but as soon as he saw Harry he let felt more tears come to his eyes before he lunged at the older man and wrapped his arms around him. “H-Harry,” he cried into his neck, hugging him impossibly tighter.

Harry let out a deep breath as he let his tears slip, immediately hugging his son back. And just having him in his arms, sitting here with him, it was impossible for Harry not to start crying himself as he kissed the toddler’s head over and over again.

“My big boy… I missed you so so much,” he barely whispered, trying to keep himself together so he wouldn’t actually start sobbing in the 3 year old’s arms.

“I-I miss my H-Harry,” Holden hiccupped before he slightly pulled away, only to kiss the older man and wrap his arms back around his neck. “D-daddy say y-you at w-work and n-no see me,” he said, letting out a few more tears.

Harry shook his head as he hugged the toddler impossibly closer and rubbed his back, desperately wanting him to calm down. He couldn’t believe Louis had lied to Holden about where he was, and what made it worse was that the older lad made it out to seem that he didn’t have time for Holden, and that will never be true.

“No buddy I didn’t have work,” he said quietly before kissing the toddler’s head and pulling him into his lap. “Daddy and I just got in a little fight and he didn’t want to see me, that’s all.”

Holden looked up at Harry and sniffled to himself before feeling a few more tears slip. “B-but I want see you,” he cried into the older man’s chest.

Harry felt more tears pool in his eyes as he looked down at the 3 year old, not believing what Louis had done, that he had kept Holden from him when he was clearly hurting. “I wanted to see you too big guy,” he said before gently wiping Holden’s tear stained cheeks.

“How long you s-stay?” Holden asked quietly.

If Harry could he would stay with Holden for forever. He wouldn’t leave his side, especially with him hurt like the way he was. But he knew that Louis wouldn’t let him stay, that he probably was still trying to avoid him. Just at that thought though Harry got an idea.

“Holden do you want to come to my house for a little bit?” he asked softly as he rubbed the 3 year old’s back. “You can sleep over like you did that one time and we can hang out all night, does that sound okay?”

Holden hiccupped to himself as he thought about it before resting his head on the older man’s chest and nodded. “Daddy go to Harry’s house too?”

“No buddy, I think it’s just gonna me and you,” Harry said softly. “Is that okay?”

Holden bit his lip as he felt a few more tears come to his eyes, thinking about how his daddy has been yelling at him, how he’s been mean to him. “That o-okay,” he said a bit shakily. “I want my Harry,” Holden said before wrapping his arms back around the older man and kissing his cheek.

Harry almost let out a breath of relief as he heard that, more than happy to finally get some time with his son. “Alright big guy here’s what I need you to do,” he said before gently setting Holden down in front of him. “Do you think you can pack some clothes in your bag while I go talk to daddy? You just need pajamas, pants, a shirt and some underwear okay? Maybe a couple toys too.”

Holden nodded and said a quiet “okay” before he looked around his room for his backpack.

Harry let out a small breath as he watched the toddler begin to look through his dresser before he pushed himself off the bed and made his way downstairs to tell Louis what he was doing. He could see the back of the older lad as he sat on the couch, his shoulders slumped and shaking, his hands hiding his face and quiet cries escaping him. And all Harry did was stand in front of him, his arms crossed over his chest, waiting for Louis to pick his head up to look at him.

“Harry…” Louis barely managed to choke out as he shook his head. “I-I’m so-”

“Stop,” Harry said, not wanting to talk about them, not wanting to hear the older lad’s excuses. “I didn’t come down here to talk about us, I’m here for Holden.”

Louis opened his mouth to say something, but just at looking at the younger lad he saw that he was beyond furious, beyond hurt and above anything else he seemed like the last thing he wanted to do was talk to him.

“I just wanted to tell you that I’m taking Holden for the night… He’s really upset and he wants to come with me, so he is,” Harry said, laying it out straight for Louis.

“What?” Louis asked, snapping his head up and pushing himself off the couch. “Harry you don’t get to make a decision like that, you can’t just-”

“Louis I’m his father too and from where I’m standing it looks like I’m the only one who actually cares about how he feels,” Harry said angrily, straining himself not to yell at the older lad for lying to Holden, for hurting him the way he did.

“Harry don’t you dare say that I don’t care,” Louis said through gritted teeth.

“Louis what have you done to show that you care?!” Harry asked, suddenly raising his voice. “These past two weeks have been nothing but pure hell for me and I’m sure Holden hasn’t been that happy near you either!!” he yelled, making the older lad freeze and his face fall. “Just because you’re miserable doesn’t mean everyone around you has to be!!!”

Harry kept his eyes on Louis before shaking his head at him and turning on his heel to check on Holden. He stomped up the stairs, letting out deep breaths as he went along, trying to make sure he was calm before he checked on the toddler.

“Hey big guy, you ready to go?” Harry asked softly as he walked into his bedroom.

“Yeah,” Holden said through a small smile before running at the older man and letting him scoop him up.

Harry couldn’t help but smile to himself as he saw Holden already feeling a little better. “Let’s check this bag buddy, make sure you have what you need.”

He made sure Holden had the clothes he needed and some toys before carrying him into the bathroom and getting his toothbrush. And when they made their way down the stairs Louis was in the same spot Harry left him in. His jaw still slack, his cheeks tear stained and hands nearly shaking at the sight of Harry taking Holden.

“Want to say bye to daddy?” Harry asked softly as he shifted Holden on his hip.

Holden bit his lip as he rested his head on Harry’s shoulder and looked to his father. “Bye daddy,” he said quietly.

Louis wanted to break down in sobs as he saw and heard his son. He couldn’t believe this was happening, that Harry was actually taking him. But he didn’t know how he could stop the younger lad. Holden wanted to go with him and Harry wanted to spend time with him. Louis couldn’t keep getting in the middle of two seeing how much it was hurting them.

“Bye buddy, I’ll really miss you,” Louis said, offering his son the best smile he could muster as he felt his eyes pooling with tears and he took a step closer to them.

He opened his arms just slightly and Louis was sure he could hear his heart breaking at the sight of Holden looking at him for a moment, not even sure if he wanted to hug him. But when he leaned out of Harry’s arms and hugged his daddy gently Louis couldn’t help but feel a few tears slip.

“Remember daddy loves you big guy,” Louis said quietly through a shaky breath before squeezing his son and kissing his head gently.

Holden let go of his daddy slowly and nodded at him before resting his head back on Harry’s shoulder.

Harry looked between the two, his eyes lingering on Louis as the older lad wiped his wet eyes and refused to look at him. “Go get your shoes on H,” he said, placing the toddler down, and when he went of to get his shoes he stood up and eyed the blue eyed lad. “Look at me,” Harry said almost firmly.

Louis bit his lip as he shook his head, his tears coming out faster and faster before finally picking his head up and looking at Harry.

“If you ever try to keep him from me again…” Harry trailed off quietly, locking his eyes on the older lad. “Louis I swear to God I will do everything in my power to see him… I’ll break down your Goddamn door, I’ll fight Zayn off, I don’t care...Don’t do it again.”

Louis nodded, everything that he’s done in the past two week crashing down on him, making him realize how much damage he’s done. Not just to Holden, but to Harry. “W-when can we talk…? W-we need to-”

“You need to figure your shit out before you hurt anyone else Louis,” Harry said as he shook his head at the older lad. “I waited for over two weeks for you to talk to me… I went to the school and in return I got banned from ever going there again. I came here and you sent Zayn to scare me away. And then after today, and how much you hurt Holden… I’m sorry Louis, but I don’t want to talk to you right now,” he said quietly.

And all Louis could do was nod. He knew that if he tried to talk nothing but hiccups and coughs would come out from how much he was crying. And when Harry walked over to Holden and picked him up he didn’t even send Louis a second glance before walking out the door with the toddler.

Louis thought he could never cry as much as he did when Harry left the first time, when he broke up with him. But at seeing the younger lad leave again, this time with Holden, he broke down and cried like he never had before.

He was sure the sound of his sobs and screams could be heard from outside, that if anyone was near they could hear how much pain he was in.

Maybe Louis deserved this though. He hurt and lied to son just because he was scared, and after being in Harry’s arms, after feeling his lips on his in years he broke his heart. And after trying to do everything and anything he could to not get hurt Louis had never felt this low in his entire life.

Holden was gone, Harry was gone, and Louis wasn’t sure if he could ever get the man he once loved to forgive him. He didn’t know if the same man, the one he still to this day loves would ever take him back.

*~*

Harry perked his head up as he heard the lift ding and he looked down to Holden in his lap, a small smile creeping onto his lips as he saw the toddler still sleeping.

“Hey,” Niall said quietly, seeing the passed out 3 year old on his best mate. “How you doin mate?” he asked, taking a seat on the recliner.

Harry bit his lip as he shook his head and gently ran his hand up and down Holden’s back. “I don’t know…” he barely whispered. “I’m so happy and relieved to have him back,” Harry said, looking down at his son. “But Louis just… I don’t know what to do.”

“Did he not talk to you?” Niall asked with furrowed eyebrows, thinking that with him screaming at the older lad earlier today it would have hit Louis to say something to Harry.

“He wanted to talk…” Harry said quietly. “But now after everything… I don’t even know what I want.”

Niall bit the inside of his cheek as he nodded, just a bit taken back by what the younger lad had said. “Mate… Have thought that maybe it’s time to move on?” he asked carefully. “Maybe find someone who actually treats you right or someone who doesn’t hurt you?”

Harry shifted his eyes from his sleeping son to Niall before letting out a deep breath and shaking his head. “Niall I know you’re not his biggest fan right now… But I love him,” he said as he shrugged and felt his throat get tight, unable to deny it.

“H I know you do,” Niall said softly. “But I can’t just sit and watch him hurt you over and over again. Enough is enough.”

“We just need to talk, like actually talk,” Harry said, trying to keep his voice down so he wouldn’t wake Holden.

“And do you actually think after you talk everything will be magically fixed?” Niall asked with raised eyebrows. “That everything that happened in the past 4 years, that happened just today will be forgotten?”

“I don’t want it to be forgotten,” Harry said as he shook his head. “I don’t care how much work or how long it takes… I know one day we’ll be back where we were.”

“So that’s what you want then? You want to be with him and make everything right again?” Niall asked, trying to help his best mate figure all of this out, wanting him to realize what he was getting himself in to.

Harry let out a deep breath as he nodded, that being what he’s wanted for years. “But Ni I’m… I’m so scared,” he barely whispered. “I keep putting myself out there and everytime I do he pulls away… I just… I can’t keep getting shoved off.”

Niall was furious at Louis and he doesn’t know how long it will take for him to forgive the older lad after everything. But he also wanted to help his mate, he wanted to be there for him no matter what he chose to do. “H you of all people know how sensitive and terrified Louis is of stuff like this,” he said quietly. “Ya know after everything that happened with Matt, then you came along, after years of you not being there you come back, add his best mate who he trusts more than anything in the world and finding out he’s been lying to him… I’m sure it’s a lot for him to sort out without having someone there to help him through it…”

Harry bit his lip as he nodded and carefully shifted Holden on his lap. He knows right now all Louis really has is Zayn, but he also remembers that the older lad told him that Zayn is sometimes there and sometimes not. They’re best mates but Harry doesn’t think that Louis has ever fully trusted Zayn like he did Liam. Not only that but Zayn didn’t know everything about Louis’ past like Liam did, a past that Harry was very much a part of. And maybe Louis found it hard to talk to him sometimes and not get the support he needed.

“I just don’t know how many more times we can hurt each other before completely falling apart,” Harry muttered. “Cause Niall I… I can’t keep feeling like this,” he said through a shaky breath, almost feeling the all too familiar tears returning to him.

“Then don’t H,” Niall said softly. “When you’re ready to talk and he’s ready to talk then talk. You don’t need to rush into it and don’t expect anything right away. But you two really need to clear everything up before anything else happens.”

Harry nodded, knowing Niall was right but it was so hard to just wait. He was tired and hurt after everything that’s happened, not just these past two weeks but the past 5 years, since he met the older lad. But the same question was all of this worth it, the pain, the crying, the drinking, the waiting kept popping into his head. And when Harry looked down at his son in his arms his question was more than easily answered.

That and more was worth it if he got Holden in the end, if at the end of the night he had him in his arms. He could only hope that one day Louis could figure out what he wants. That one day Louis would accept or realize that he loved him too.

*~*

Louis perked his head up as he heard a knock at the door, but that was just before it swung open and a very loud Holden ran through it.

“H! Shoes!” Harry called behind him, not wanting the toddler to run through the house with his shoes on.

Louis bit his lip at the younger lad’s voice and pushed himself off the couch to meet them in the foyer. But before he could even fully make it there he felt a little body crash into him.

“Daddy!” Holden said excitedly, hugging his father tightly.

“Hey buddy,” Louis said a bit surprised as he scooped his son up and kissed his head. He figured that Holden would still be mad at him, but if anything the toddler was hugging him like he loved him more than anything in the world. “Did you have fun with Harry?”

“Yes!!” Holden said happily before taking his father’s glasses off his nose and putting them on himself. “Harry make dinner and we color and play guitar and watch movie and eat snacks!”

“I’m happy you had such a good night big guy,” Louis said softly, offering his son a small smile. It was definitely much better night than the one he had. “I want to hear all about it and I have to talk to you but first I want to talk to Harry real quick, okay?” he asked, pulling his glasses off the 3 year old’s nose and putting them in his pocket.

“Okay daddy,” Holden said, nodding at his father before giving him one more quick hug, kissing his cheek and wiggling out of his arms.

Louis followed after his son with his eyes and he couldn’t even express how grateful he was that Holden was feeling so much better, that he actually wanted to be near him at all after yesterday. But when he looked back to Harry he could see the younger lad’s eyes already on him, him definitely not over what happened yesterday, but Louis didn’t blame him.

“Uhm, hey,” he said quietly as he bit his lip and shifted his weight on his feet. “Listen I uhm… Just thank you for taking him last night,” Louis said, shifting his gaze to the floor. “And thank you for helping him when I couldn’t…”

Harry let out a quiet breath and nodded at the older lad before taking a step closer to him and passing him Holden’s backpack. “Of course,” he said softly, knowing yesterday that both Louis and Holden needed their own time. “Have you uhm… Well when do you want to talk about everything?” Harry asked, scratching the back of his neck and biting his lip.

“Harry I know this is probably the last thing you want to hear but I’m still thinking a bit,” Louis said as he shook his head. “And it’s not that I’m thinking about what I want, because I figured that out last night… But I just need to think about what I’m going to say to you because it’s there that I always get stuck and nervous and that’s why we’re in the position we’re in now and I can’t hurt you anymore and-”

“Louis, Louis!” Harry said quickly, needing the older lad to relax. “It’s fine, I get it,” he said softly. “Just when you’re ready come and talk to me yeah?”

If possible Louis only felt more awful as he heard how gently Harry was talking to him, how he was giving him time and was willing to even hear him out after everything. “Thanks H…”

Harry snapped his head up and looked at the older lad, only to find Louis looking right back at him with a small grateful smile. “Sure,” he said, nodding at him.

Louis nodded back as he pressed his lips together and shuffled on his feet. “So I’ll uhm, I’ll text you about Holden and when we can talk and all that.”

Harry bit his lip, again nodding at the Louis before he said a quiet “thanks” and went off to say bye to Holden. And when he had kissed and hugged his son to the point he was whining and squirming in his arms Harry finally let him go before saying his goodbye’s to Louis and heading out to his car.

“Hey Holden!” Louis called from the living room. “C’mere buddy! I wanna talk!”

Louis wasn’t even able to sit before he heard the little patter of feet and felt a small body climb over the back of the couch.

“Here daddy,” Holden said through a giggle as he got situated on the couch.

“Oh I didn’t see you there,” Louis said teasingly as he rolled his eyes fondly and pulled his son into his lap. “So I wanted to talk to you about yesterday,” he said quietly.

“Okay,” Holden said as he leaned back against his daddy’s chest.

Louis swallowed thickly, still not believing what he did yesterday, or what he’s been doing to his son for the past two weeks. “I just wanted to say how sorry I was for making you so upset,” he said softly. “I feel awful for making you cry and driving away when you wanted to see Harry… I really am incredibly sorry buddy.”

Holden bit his lip as he nodded against his daddy and let out a quiet breath. “Why you no let me see Harry?” he asked quietly. “Harry say he no at work so why I no see him?”

“Because daddy was being selfish and didn’t want to see Harry… And because I didn’t want to see him that meant you couldn’t either, and again I’m so so sorry H, that wasn’t right of daddy to do,” Louis said as he shook his head and wrapped his arms around the toddler.

“Daddy needs to go in time out,” Holden said as he looked up at his father.

“You want me to go in time out?” Louis asked with raised eyebrows.

Holden nodded and hummed as he climbed off of his father’s lap and pointed to the corner where his time out stool was. “Because you bad you go in time out and then everything okay,” he said, that usually being what his daddy says when he gets in trouble and has to go sit on his stool.

Louis opened and closed his mouth but got up from the couch anyway before making his way to the tiny stool in the corner and taking a seat on it, praying he wouldn’t break it. If this is what it cost for his son to forgive him then this is what he’ll do. And when he looked back to Holden the toddler seemed very pleased as he giggled at his daddy and covered his little mouth with his hands.

“You’re enjoying this too much,” Louis muttered through a small smile.

“Daddy you no talk in time out!! That add two minutes!” Holden said, that being his father’s rule.

“You’re not even keeping track of the time!” Louis pointed out.

He could hear his son begin to laugh harder and all Louis could do was roll his eyes fondly. But just as he was about to say something else Louis heard a creak from under him, followed by a snap of the wooden leg, making him fall to the floor on top of  the broken stool.

Louis groaned from his spot on the floor as he picked up the broken wood from under him and threw it to the side. That was just before he felt a little body not so gracefully climb on him and begin to bounce.

“I surrender, I give up, no more,” Louis mumbled.

“Okay daddy, time out done and you sorry, I forgive,” Holden said, smiling widely at his father and patting his hair.

Louis couldn’t help the small grin that came to him as he slowly sat up and wrapped his arms around his boy. “I love you H, always,” he said quietly before kissing the toddler’s hair.

“I love you too daddy,” Holden mumbled into his neck before kissing his cheek and giving him one more squeeze.

And that was music to Louis’ ears after everything that’s happened. He had his son back in his arms and all was forgiven. Now all Louis had to do was talk to Harry, and he knew that he couldn’t win him over nearly as easily as he did Holden. But he had to explain, had to listen and had to try in order to make things right.

*~*

Louis let out a deep breath as he stepped out of the lift and looked around the seemingly empty flat. He had texted Harry over an hour ago that he was coming over but never actually got a response from the younger lad. He had seen him earlier after he dropped Holden off and he told him to expect his text about when they could talk. Maybe Harry didn’t think it’d be this soon though. But after sitting around for a half hour Zayn told him to just go, assured him that he had Holden and to take his time with Harry.

So now here he was, aimlessly looking around Harry’s flat, trying to find him so they could talk. But after looking in the kitchen, the living room and even popping his head into Harry’s bedroom he couldn’t find him. So that meant there was only one other room he could be in and if he wasn’t in there then he wasn’t home at all.

Louis made his way to the music room, pressing his ear to the door and sure enough he heard music playing. He turned the door handle gently, just barely cracking it open before he really heard the music blasting through the speakers. [(X)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cqJoVlnmdFQ)

Louis peeked through the crack of the door, seeing Harry sitting at his drumset with a microphone in front of him, his eyes closed and words coming out softly as the other instruments he probably recorded early played in the background.

And all Louis could do was just watch and listen to him. The words that he sang like many of Harry’s other songs reminded him so much of them, of what they were going through. And also like many of his other songs it was heartbreaking in one of the worst ways.

There was so much truth, hurt and pain behind what he was singing Louis didn’t know what to think other than “this is all my fault”. And when he got further into the song, all of the instruments getting louder, Harry for the first time bringing up his arms to play the drum they were quick taps, and with every tap his muscles flexed, his singing stopping and his face getting harder as he fell more into it.

Louder and louder everything got, Harry’s arms moving faster, hitting the drums harder until he couldn’t anymore. And just when Louis thought it was getting to the high point Harry opened his mouth to sing, belting out what sounded like loud, painfully, perfectly pitched cries.

Louis stood there still as he watched the younger lad, his arms going crazy and mouth open, eyes squeezed shut as he released these notes that mimicked one’s crying. If possible it made the song more heartbreaking, almost too sad to bear before Harry stopped singing, his drumsticks slamming down on the instrument and silent tears escaping him as he played.

It was hard to watch, impossible to listen to without feeling everything Harry was. But now more than ever Louis knew he had to make things right, he had to fix all of this with Harry.

He wanted to wait until the younger lad was done playing though before he walked into the room, not wanting to startle him, but the song didn’t even end before Harry was up from his seat, chucking his drumsticks against the wall and letting out a frustrated scream at the top of his lungs.

Louis didn’t waste a second before pushing the door open, seeing that Harry was a second away from picking up the closest thing and throwing it.

He rushed over to him and wrapped his arms around the younger lad from behind to keep him from freaking out. Louis could hear his cries, could feel him struggling against him until he forced Harry to turn around to look at him. And as soon as blue met tear filled green the younger lad didn’t waste a second before wrapping his arms around his neck and pulling him into his chest.

Louis swallowed thickly and let out a few deep breaths before he carefully rubbed Harry’s back, only being reminded of what it felt like to be in the younger man’s arms. “Harry what’s wrong?” he asked softly, wanting him to calm down.

“I-I didn’t know if you were ever going to come back, if you were going to talk to me,” Harry choked out as he shook his head.

“H I texted you, I said I was coming over so we could talk,” Louis said with furrowed eyebrows as he pulled away slightly from him.

“I’m sorry, my phone’s in my room, I just… I dropped Holden off at your place and came in here and I kept overthinking everything and I didn’t know if-”

“Stop, stop, it’s fine,” Louis said, needing Harry to relax. “I’m here now, we can talk yeah?” he asked as he rubbed the younger lad’s arm.

Harry wiped his wet eyes as he nodded to himself and let out a few deep breaths. “Yeah, yeah, we can talk.”

“Good,” Louis said, offering him a small smile. “And I mean actually talk, not scream or yell,” he said a bit jokingly.

“I won’t if you won’t,” Harry said through a quiet laugh, getting a nod from the older lad before he followed him out the door and to the living room.

As they walked there though Harry didn’t even know where they should begin, what they should sort out first. There were so many things to clear up, so many things he wanted to tell Louis and he was sure that the older lad felt the same. It was just a matter of talking about these things without screaming, without blaming each other.

“I don’t uhm… I don’t really know where to start,” Louis said quietly once they were settled on the couch.

“That makes two of us,” Harry said through a quiet breath as he scratched the back of his neck sheepishly. “Do you uhm, do you want to go back to the beginning? Sort that out first?”

Louis nodded, himself letting out a deep breath as he ran his hands over his face, trying to mentally and physically prepare himself for all of this.

“Why didn’t you tell me about him?” Harry asked quietly. “When you found out, why couldn’t you tell me?”

“Harry I told you I was terrified,” Louis said softly. “We were only dating for a year, you were always travelling and I… Well I was going to tell you after that party, but then you announced you were going on tour and just… I felt like we couldn’t have a baby, we couldn’t be a family with you being gone for months, I just got more scared…”

“Were you going to break up with me?” Harry asked with furrowed eyebrows, feeling his throat tighten.

“No, no, of course not,” Louis rushed out. “It’s just that I felt like I was going to ruin your career or hold you back and I couldn’t do that, not after you worked so hard… And I was going to tell you I swear I was, I just didn’t know how and that’s why I went to Liam… He was trying to help me sort it all out.”

Harry had to physically stop himself from rolling his eyes just at Liam’s name. “I just… I wished you talked to me,” he barely whispered. “You know together we could’ve figured it out.”

Louis nodded, knowing that now, but back then even at the thought of Harry knowing they were going to have a baby put him in tears. “I wish I did too… I just wished we talked in general… Like me with the baby, you with Liam, all of that.”

Harry bit his lip as he looked down to his hands and let out a quiet breath. He knew if he talked to Louis about Liam he wouldn’t have thought that the older lad was cheating on him, and all of that miscommunication would’ve been cleared up. Harry wouldn’t have yelled at Louis at that party, he would’ve listened to him when he was trying to tell him he was pregnant and they wouldn’t have broken up, he wouldn’t have left.

“We both really fucked up didn’t we?” he mumbled into his hands. “Louis I’m just so sorry… For everything I did to you,” Harry said just loud enough for the older lad to hear as he felt tears pool in his eyes. “I’m sorry for how I yelled at you, how I wouldn’t listen to you… For what I called you… I’m just so so sorry,” he said, shaking his head and letting a few tears slip, thinking back to that day all those years ago. “I-I was just so hurt… It felt like you left me, like you didn’t love me a-and in my mind you were the bad guy but it was really me,” Harry said, feeling steady tears stream down his cheeks. “I-I left you with a baby and a broken heart and-”

“Harry stop,” Louis said softly as he shook his head. “I get why you left, I mean I understand now and yeah it hurt like hell but it was my fault for not talking to you or telling you… It’s not like we can blame one person, we both messed up,” he said as he bit his lip.

“T-then why do I still feel like all of this is my f-fault?” Harry choked out. “I-I missed Holden growing up and you did try to tell me, y-you tried to stop me from leaving but I-”

“Harry,” Louis said, stopping him again as he reached a careful hand over and gently rubbed the younger lad’s back. “You’re back now… And I know you’re here to stay,” he said quietly. “That’s what matters.”

Harry nodded as he sniffled to himself and tried to calm down. He rubbed his hands over his face, not even able to imagine how much he hurt Louis being gone all those years, leaving him to raise Holden all by himself and having to figure out where to live, how to afford everything.

“And I’m sorry too,” Louis said as he could see the younger lad relax a bit. “I didn’t tell you anything and I was avoiding you and spent all my time with Liam, I understand why you thought maybe something was going on between us… I basically drove you away so this is my fault too…”

The two were quiet for a moment, the only thing heard in the room being Harry’s quiet sniffles, but Louis was trying himself to keep it together. If anything he was more than happy they weren’t screaming at each other, but actually talking. And even if they were heavy topics, even if it drove them to tears at the memories of being hurt the way they were it was all more than worth it.

“W-why did you kiss me?” Harry asked suddenly, breaking the silence. “Two weeks ago when you kissed me back, why?”

It was this that Louis was scared of, what he was terrified to talk about. But it was time he told the younger lad, time he stopped pretending. And even if his heart felt like it was about to pound out of his chest, even if he couldn’t meet Harry’s eyes he had to say it.

“Harry I… I-I never stopped…-” Louis cut himself off, shaking his head and feeling his own tears pool in his eyes as he pulled his hand off the younger lad’s back.

He hid his face in his hands, feeling his tears stream down his cheeks at what he was about to say. But Louis had to keep reminding himself that Harry wasn’t going anywhere, that he wouldn’t hurt him the way he did when he left all those years ago. His words kept getting stuck though, finding himself on the verge of saying it before he shut his mouth again and felt more tears fall.

“C’mere,” Harry said quietly as he gently pulled the older lad into his side, letting him cry on his shoulder. “Louis you know I’m here to stay, you know it’s okay,” he whispered to him.

“H… I-I’m scared,” Louis hiccuped against him. “W-when you left the first time I couldn’t, I-I-”

“Shh, Lou I’m here now, you know-”

Louis shook his head, stopping the younger lad as he felt his tears really start to fall. “H-Harry you hurt me a-and left me when y-you promised you never would… A-and I know y-you keep saying that you’re g-gonna stay and I-I believe you but I-I just think to h-how much it hurt and I can’t do that a-again, I-I can’t.”

“And you won’t,” Harry said almost firmly as he carefully wiped the older lad’s eyes.

Louis could feel himself really start to choke up, his breathing coming out shakily and heart feeling like someone was squeezing it, but he had to get all of this off his chest. “Harry I-I wanted to hate you for so long… A-after you left my God did I want to h-hate you,” he sniffled out. “But I-I never could, I never did…” Louis said before swallowing thickly and looking up to the younger lad.

He couldn’t even say how much he missed looking at those bright green eyes, how much he missed being in Harry’s arms and feeling his lips on his own. For years he’s missed everything that was Harry and now that he was back Louis needed him to stay, he couldn’t let him go ever again.

“I-I kissed you back because I still love you… I-I never stopped loving you, I couldn’t,” Louis barely managed to say through his quiet sobs.

Harry looked down at the older lad, his breath coming up short as he pulled him impossibly closer to his side. “Then why did you leave?” he asked so quietly he wasn’t sure Louis heard him. “I wanted you to stay, I wanted to talk to you but instead you just ran away…”

“Because everyone leaves Harry, I-I thought y-you would just leave again, I-I was scared,” Louis said, looking right back up at the younger lad with tear filled eyes. “Everything going on with Liam a-and you came back and as s-soon as I saw you I-I felt like I did all those years ago b-but when we kissed I remembered just h-how much I loved you and I couldn’t get hurt, not a-again,” he said, shaking his head against Harry’s shoulder.

“Louis I won’t hurt you… I never stopped loving you, I couldn’t leave you again, even if you wanted me to leave, I couldn’t,” Harry barely whispered. “I want to make things right with you… I want to try again.”

Louis sniffled to himself as he wiped his wet eyes and blinked at the younger lad. “Really?”

“Yes, really,” Harry said through a small smile as if that was a ridiculous question. “I want you and Holden. That’s all I’ve wanted for a while now...”

Louis let out a deep breath as he rested his head back on Harry’s shoulder, trying to keep his thoughts under control, trying not to overthink this and make a mess of everything again. “What do we do?” he asked quietly.

Harry bit his lip as he thought for a second, running his hand up and down the older lad’s back. “We make a plan about what we’re going to do with Holden,” he said, that above anything needing to come first. “As for us… We take it slow. We get to know each other again and feel things out for a while… And we won’t fuck on the first date like last time,” he said, muffling a laugh into Louis’ hair and getting a jab in the side from him. “Unless you want to of course, I mean I have no problem with that.”

Louis rolled his eyes playfully as he hit the younger lad on the chest, only getting another laugh out of him. “You’re so ridiculous,” he muttered through a small smile.

Harry shrugged, knowing very well that he was ridiculous but it always got Louis smiling. “But really, is that okay?” he asked seriously. “Like are you okay taking it slow and everything?”

“It’s more than okay,” Louis said, himself not wanting to jump into things like they had when they first started dating.

Harry bit back his smile as he pulled the older lad impossibly closer to his side. He couldn’t believe this was actually happening, that he had Louis back in his arms and they were both here to stay. It’s what he’s been waiting for for years, and now he had Holden, it was too good to be true.

But sure enough Louis stayed cuddled into his side, talking about what they were going to do with Holden. In the end they decided Harry would pick up Holden from daycare everyday and spend time with him before they all had dinner at Louis’ house. But on Friday’s and Saturday’s Holden would go to Harry’s and eat and sleep there for the night, and Harry was sure to pass along an invitation to Louis, telling him to of course join them whenever he wanted. And Louis may have said he would take him up on that offer, trying to bite back his smile as he said it.

When everything was answered, cleared up and said Harry walked Louis down to his car, he couldn’t shake off the way he was feeling. He hasn’t felt this light, this good in years and Harry only hoped that this time he could keep it this way.

“So, my place tomorrow night?” Louis asked with raised eyebrows as they stopped at his car. “It’s Thursday, so you know what that means,” he said, sending the younger lad a small smile.

“Oh I could never miss pizza night, are you crazy?” Harry asked through a quiet laugh. “Anything you want me to bring? Does H have all the snacks his little heart desires?”

“Trust me our sugar cabinet is more than stocked,” Louis said through his own chuckle. “I just need you.”

Harry hummed as he tried to fight off his smile, but in the end let it slip. “Then it’s just me you’ll get,” he said, taking a step closer to the older lad and placing a gentle hand on his hip.

“Good,” Louis breathed out through a small grin.

If possible Harry’s smile widened as he stepped even closer to Louis and he could see something in the older lad’s eyes. It wasn’t his usual nervousness or the worry that flashed across his face. But it was replaced with a look of comfort, of love.

“If I kiss you again…” Harry started off quietly, leaning in so close he was just mere centimeters away from the older lad’s lips. “Would you run away?”

Louis looked up at Harry before bringing up one of his hands and gently carding his fingers through the back of his curls before shaking his head. “Never again,” he barely whispered.

And that was all Harry needed to hear before moving the rest of the way in, softly pressing their lips together and feeling everything he’s been missing.

He could feel Louis smiling against him and even when they pulled away it was still there, that smile that Harry would do anything to see more often.

“So much for taking it slow,” Louis teased as he gently ran his fingers through the back of the younger lad’s curls.

“C’mon this is taking it slow,” Harry scoffed as he wrapped his arms around Louis’ waist. “That was like a cute little peck.”

Louis hummed before rolling his eyes, patting Harry’s chest and getting out of his arms. “I’ll see you tomorrow,” he said as he unlocked his car and opened the door.

“I have a meeting with Clara in the morning so if I don’t answer my phone I’m sorry,” Harry said as he watched the older lad get in his car and he leaned down to talk to him through the open window. “Don’t worry though it’ll definitely be over before I have to pick up Holden.”

“Alright just text me when you can,” Louis said, offering him a small smile. “You know I have class anyway and musical rehearsals so it’s okay.”

Harry nodded at the older lad before grinning back at him and leaning into the car, stealing a quick kiss from him. And even if he got an eyeroll from Louis Harry knew it was a playful one before they both said their goodnights and the older lad began to drive away. But as Harry watched the car leave the parking lot it was so much different now than it was two weeks ago, and he didn’t think he could ever get used to how he was feeling. Harry was sure he didn’t want to get used to it though.

All I Want Playlist

 

 

 

 

[Let Me Love You](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_eTytNgcYOk) [Ne-Yo-Glee Version](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_eTytNgcYOk) 3:38

[Leave Your Lover](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M8pK3KBwC84) [Sam Smith](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M8pK3KBwC84) 3:26

[The Otherside](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l4Lt4zlCb-M) [Taylor Ward](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l4Lt4zlCb-M) 2:58

[Give Your Heart A Break](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XKiUcTvr-TQ) [Glee Version](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XKiUcTvr-TQ) 3:29

[Friends](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Myaod6GC4U) [Ed Sheeran](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Myaod6GC4U) 3:09

[Make You Feel My Love](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jNBmoj32pq4) [Adele](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jNBmoj32pq4) 3:15

[Tonight](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k-6WAexAPP4) [John Legend Ft. Ludacris](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k-6WAexAPP4) 3:57

[Sometime Around Midnight](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m53cWa-CdUg) [The Airborne Toxic Event](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m53cWa-CdUg) 5:03

[Kiss Me](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MXL8BEPl-Nw) [Ed Sheeran](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MXL8BEPl-Nw) 4:35

[Infinity](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QaY1ezWUhi0) [One Direction- Slow Mode](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QaY1ezWUhi0%20%0A%0A) 5:24

[I’m Gonna Find Another You](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2EZWzq6kXVc) [John Mayer](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2EZWzq6kXVc) 2:43

[Comfortable](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BroiKmNGbfI) [John Mayer](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BroiKmNGbfI) 5:02

[Where Do Broken Heart Go](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6QpPMbzVqic) [One Direction](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6QpPMbzVqic) 3:45

[No Good in Goodbye](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZRNTOabGsDk) [The Script](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZRNTOabGsDk) 3:58

[More Time](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cnGFGkP5Enw) [Needtobreath](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cnGFGkP5Enw) 4:22

Shattered O.A.R 3:57

I’m A Mess Ed Sheeran 4:08

[I Almost Do](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ij1xADeobsg) [Taylor Swift](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ij1xADeobsg) 3:59

[Just A Little Bit Of Your Heart](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F0-50nRyuy8) [Ariana Grande](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F0-%0A%0A50nRyuy8) 3:57

[Don’t Let Me Go](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bEBzek5Hi_s%20) [Harry Styles](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bEBzek5Hi_s) 3:50

[The One](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QgB71wmqGbs) Kodaline 4:04

[All I Want](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cqJoVlnmdFQ) [Kodaline](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cqJoVlnmdFQ%20%0A%0A) 4:57

[The One](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K75A16HRdBY) [Sam Smith](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K75A16HRdBY) 3:08

[Make It To Me](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nwxaK3IUlag) [Sam Smith](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nwxaK3IUlag) 3:09

[Lay Me Down](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hQNNm0acHE4) [Sam Smith](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hQNNm0acHE4) 4:01

[Code by Layouttesst](http://layouttesst.livejournal.com/profile)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts on the chapter ?? Leave comments, those are always loved and check out my [tumblr](http://lhstylinson9193.tumblr.com/) for sneak peaks of the next update or to ask me when I'll be updating and all that fun stuff. Thanks !!


	8. Chapter 8

“Holden,” Louis groaned through a quiet laugh as he tried to pry his son’s arms off from around his leg, desperately needing to go into the kitchen.

“Daddy go!!” Holden said as he giggled to himself, wanting to ride on his father’s leg as he walked.

Louis rolled his eyes playfully as he tried picking up his leg and just barely took a step with Holden’s weight on him. But with some extra force he managed to swing his leg and make his son squeal as he held on for dear life. “My goodness you’re getting heavy,” Louis said, unable to stop his laughter as he walked into the kitchen, Holden refusing to let go of him.

“Cause I growing!!” Holden said excitedly as he let go of his daddy and smiled happily up at him.

“Ugh, don’t say stuff like that,” Louis said through a small pout. “You’re always gonna be my baby boy,” he said, leaning down to kiss Holden’s head before getting out paper plates for when Harry shows up with the pizza.

“I know daddy,” Holden said softly before wrapping his arms around his father and hugging him.

Louis smiled down at the 3 year and pulled him into his side, unable to grasp how big Holden is, how fast he was growing. And if he was being completely honest he hated it, but there was nothing he could do about it.

A second later both Tomlinson boys perked their heads up, hearing the door open, and Holden was quick to run towards the foyer, squealing a loud “Harry!!” as he saw the older man.

“Easy big guy! We can’t drop the pizza!” Harry said through a loud laugh, scooping up the toddler and balancing him in one arm while his other carried the pizza.

Louis bit his lip as he saw the two come into the kitchen, trying to hold back his small smile at the sight of the curly haired lad. “H go wash your hands before we eat please.”

Holden nodded quickly before wiggling out of Harry’s arms and running to the bathroom.

“Thought you were talking to me, I was confused,” Harry said through a chuckle as he put the pizza on the counter and smiled down at the older lad.

“Well you need to wash your hands too. I just thought with you being 25 you wouldn’t have to be reminded,” Louis said a bit teasingly.

Harry rolled his eyes as he took a step closer to Louis and placed a gentle hand on his hip, but just as he was about to lean in to give him a quick kiss he noticed the older lad turn his head to get his cheek instead. He furrowed his eyebrows, looking down at him confused but before he could utter anything Louis beat him to it.

“I wanted to talk to you,” Louis said quietly as he bit the inside of his cheek and shuffled on his feet.

“Everything okay?” Harry asked with a touch of worry in his voice.

“Yeah, yeah, everythings fine,” Louis said, nodding to himself and letting out a deep breath, finally picking his head up to look at the younger lad. “I just… Well I’ve been thinking the past couple days and you’ve said some things and I uhm… Well I think that maybe, if you’re okay with it to uhm, to tell Holden… Ya know.”

Harry felt his jaw go slack  as he heard Louis, he wasn’t even sure he was breathing at what the older lad was saying. “Tell him? You mean tell him I’m his… That I-I’m-”

“That you’re his dad?” Louis asked through a small smile. “Yeah, if you’re okay with it,” he said softly.

“Yeah, yeah of course,” Harry said, unable to stop the wide smile that came to him. “Shit, yes, you don’t even have to ask,” he said, nearly jumping where he was from feeling so excited.

Louis laughed to himself as he saw Harry freaking out a bit, but he had to remind him of something. “H listen,” he said quietly, reaching for the younger lad’s arm to steady him. “I don’t want to make you feel bad or upset you… But I need to remind you that you haven’t been here,” Louis said softly. “He has asked about his other parent before you came around and I just want to warn you he might be upset, he might wonder where you were and why you couldn’t be here.”

Harry’s smile fell a bit, not thinking about how Holden might ask where he’s been, why he hasn’t been there for him. “Do you think he’ll be mad at me?” he asked just loud enough for the older lad to hear.

“Harry I don’t know,” Louis said quietly as he shook his head. “He’s 3, so it may not so much be mad at you, but sad and hurt… That’s the worst case though.”

Harry bit his lip, now more or less terrified that Holden would be upset with him. But he still desperately wanted to tell him, to let the 3 year old know that he’s going to be here now and that he has no plans of going anywhere. “When do we tell him then? Or do I tell him? Are you going to be in the room- wait what the hell do I even say to him? I can’t just-”

“Daddy! Harry come on!” Holden groaned as he ran back into the room with clean hands. “I’m hungry!” he said tugging on his daddy’s fingers.

“We’ll be right there buddy, go get in your seat,” Louis said, giving Holden’s hand a gentle squeeze before he ran off. Louis focused his gaze back to Harry, the younger lad letting out a few deeps, probably realizing what they were about to do. “H I’ll do whatever you want,” he said softly. “I’ll be in the room, or I don’t have to be, even if you want I’ll tell him. Just whatever makes you comfortable.”

Harry nodded as he combed his fingers through the front of his curls and tried to calm his racing thoughts. “Can uhm, can we tell him when we put him down for bed?” he asked quietly, getting a nod from the older lad. “And maybe uhm, maybe you can tell him because you’ll do a better job of explaining it to him than me, but I want to be there of course.”

Louis offered Harry a small smile, it being clear he was more than nervous before he gave the younger lad’s arm a gentle squeeze and made his way to the dining room with the pizza box.

Harry let out one more deep breath, desperately trying to relax as he followed Louis to the dining room and took a seat. He couldn’t believe that tonight was really the night, that Holden was going to find out he was his father. It was all exciting and everything Harry has been waiting for, but he was still terrified for the toddler’s reaction.

And as they ate their dinner as usual Holden was talking their ears off. Tonight it was all about how much he liked Harry picking him up at daycare and how he was excited for their sleepover tomorrow night.

Harry had to say he really enjoyed the extra time with Holden too. Today after daycare they went back to his flat, played some instruments before Harry drove them to Louis’ dropped the 3 year old off, went to pick up their pizza and now here they were. Even if it was only two or three extra hours he spent with the toddler it was nice to have some them time.

But Holden was also beyond excited for their sleepover tomorrow, he was talking with his mouth full and it sounded like he wasn’t even breathing from talking so much and so fast. But with both Harry and his daddy reminding him he was quick to swallow his food, take a few breaths and relax before he went right back into what he was talking about.

And all dinner Harry could just listen and smile at the 3 year old as he went on and on. His feet were tangled under the table with Louis’, Holden was confusing himself with how much he was talking and there was no other place Harry would want to be.

Even when they were sitting on the couch, Holden squished between his daddy and Harry with his popcorn and tiny cup of soda in his lap. As Tangled played on the screen the toddler’s eyes were locked on the movie, Harry looked between the two Tomlinsons, both of them completely engrossed in what they were watching. He bit back a small smile as he draped his arm over the back of the couch and carefully moved his hand, gently running his fingers over the nape of Louis’ neck.

It was only a second later the older lad turned to look at him, and Harry was just grateful Louis didn’t pull away, instead he just offered him a small grin before turning back to the tv. And Harry couldn’t fight off his own smile as it grew, his fingers brushing through the back of the older lad’s feathery hair. Even if the movie was playing in the background Harry didn’t pay much attention to it, instead he looked between the two boys next to him, Holden squished between them and Louis leaning into his touch. Yeah, he could definitely get used to this.

But when the movie was over and Holden was whining about not wanting to go to bed Harry felt his nerves pick up, his mind racing with the thought that he was about to tell Holden he was his dad. And Louis must’ve noticed too because when he reached to pick up Holden and carry him to his room the older lad gave his arm a gentle squeeze as he walked past him and nodded for him to follow.

So Harry released a deep breath and tried it ignore how hard his heart was beating as he followed Louis up the stairs. He watched by the doorframe as the older lad got Holden into his pajamas and they brushed teeth before actually climbing into bed and getting under the covers. And with every minute that passed Harry couldn’t stop his racing thoughts, the flashes of images of how Holden might react when they tell him. But he didn’t even have time to overthink too hard before it was time, before he walked fully into the room and knelt by his son’s bed as Louis was sitting with Holden.

“Hey buddy, so uhm, Harry and I wanted to talk to you,” Louis said softly once he saw the toddler comfortable in his bed.

“Okay daddy,” Holden said, seeing Rob come into the room and he pat his bed, immediately making the little cat jump up and snuggle into his side.

Louis bit his lip as he looked over to Harry, the younger lad looking more nervous by the second before he turned back to his son. “Do you remember when you had to do that family project in day care and you had to bring in a picture of me?” he asked and when the 3 year old nodded he continued. “And do remember how you said you only have one parent but everyone else has a mummy or daddy?”

Holden bit his lip as he nodded again, remembering how in daycare he was the only one with just a daddy.

Harry looked between the two, not even sure how Louis was going to explain this and when he did how Holden would react. He would hate if the 3 year old got upset or if he was hurt that he hasn’t been there or that Louis never told him. Harry just wanted to make sure, to tell Holden that he wasn’t going anywhere ever again, that he was here to stay.

“Well you do have another parent… You have another daddy,” Louis said softly, watching Holden for a reaction.

Holden stopped petting the cat at his side, slowly picking his head up to look at his father with furrowed eyebrows. “Two daddies?” he asked confused, earning a nod from his daddy. “But who other daddy?” Holden asked quietly.

Harry felt himself swallow thickly and almost still completely as he saw Louis look over to him and Holden followed his daddy’s gaze. And when he looked down at Holden he opened his mouth, wanting and needing the words to come out but they got stuck.

“Harry?” Holden barely whispered as he looked at the older man. “You… You other daddy?” he asked, trying to figure all of this out.

Harry looked over to Louis, seeing the older lad offer him a small reassuring smile before nodding to Holden, wanting him to answer the 3 year old. “Y-yeah buddy, I am,” he said quietly, his eyes shifting back to his son. “I uhm, I’m your other dad.”

Holden just looked at him for a few moments, his mouth hung open and entire body still as he kept his eyes on the older man.

And this was exactly what Harry was terrified of, that Holden wouldn’t want him as a dad, that he would be upset and start crying. But just as he was about to speak up a little voice beat him to it.

“Well why you no here?” Holden asked. “Why you no tuck me in bed or why you no here for birthdays or Christmas?”

Harry let out a quiet breath as he reached for the toddler’s little hand and gave it a gentle squeeze, not quite sure how he was going to explain this. “I didn’t know I had to be here buddy,” he said softly. “But what I want you to know is that I’m never gonna miss those things ever again okay? I’ll tuck you in every night and every birthday and every Christmas I’m gonna be right here. I’m not going anywhere H, you can count on that.”

Holden was quiet on his bed, his eyes staying on Harry and seemingly deep in thought as he bit his lip. But then he nodded at the older man and sat up, wrapping his arms around Harry’s neck and hugging him tightly.

“I like you as anofer daddy Harry,” Holden said quietly, just barely pulling away to look at him.

Harry swears he was about to start crying right there, but instead he blinked quickly and pulled his son back into his chest before kissing his head. “I love you buddy, always,” he said before kissing the toddler again.

Holden pulled away and nodded at Harry before kissing his cheek and laying back down in his bed with Rob. “Tomorrow sleep over at Harry’s house and we talk more,” he said before getting comfortable under his covers.

Harry had to hold back a laugh as he tucked his son in, making sure to give him one more kiss before saying goodnight.

Louis followed his actions, kissing Holden all over his face and petting Rob quickly before turning off the light and leading Harry out of the room.

Harry let out a deep breath as he followed Louis down the stairs and once they got to the living room he turned to look at the older lad, only to see him trying to blink back tears. “Lou what’s wrong?” he asked worriedly, gently grabbing his arm to stop him from walking away.

“I just…” Louis shook his head, biting his lip as he looked away from the younger lad. “I-I never thought you would be here with me and telling him this together. I-I never thought you would come back…”

Harry’s face fell slightly as he kept his eyes on Louis and gently wiped away a tear that fell onto his cheek before wrapping his arms around the older lad and pulling him into his chest. And it was almost immediate Louis hugged him back, tucking his head into his neck and trying to hold back his tears.

“It’s okay…” Harry said softly as he rubbed Louis’ back gently. “I’m here now Lou, and I’m not going anywhere.”

“I know, I know,” Louis said as he sniffled to himself, not even believing he was crying in the first place. “I’m just… I’m still processing it all. Like you just being here with Holden and now he knows about you being his dad, it’s a lot.”

Harry nodded, letting out a small breath as he softly ran his hands up and down Louis’ arms. “It’s okay though right?” he asked quietly. “I mean like we’re okay, and you’re okay with all of this?”

“Yeah, yeah I’m okay,” Louis breathed out as he ran his fingers through his hair. “I feel like I still have to get used to this though, it doesn’t seem real.”

“We’ll take our time with everything, yeah?” Harry asked through a small smile.

“Yeah,” Louis said quietly as he grinned back up at the younger lad and tugged on his hand to sit on the couch. “I thought he took it really well though. I mean he’s 3 and is probably still processing it but I’m relieved he didn’t cry or anything.”

“That was definitely something I was terrified of,” Harry agreed as he nodded to himself. “I’m sure tomorrow at our sleepover we’ll talk more about it.”

Louis rolled his eyes fondly as he laughed to himself and shook his head. “He’s too cute,” he said, thinking about his son and how he went on and on about his and Harry’s sleepover tomorrow. “I’ll uhm, well I’m going to dinner with Liam tomorrow, so I’ll be over a little later if that’s okay.”

Harry bit his lip as he nodded and draped an arm over the back of the couch. “Of course that’s okay,” he said quietly. “Have you talked to him much? Liam I mean.”

“He’ll text and call me, but I only answer half the time… I’m still not even remotely over what he did but he…-”

“He’s your best mate, and has been forever,” Harry filled in for him. “I know Louis, it’s okay,” he said, running a gentle hand up and down the older lad’s back. “But I have been wondering for a while… Has he uhm, has he ever dated anyone? Like ever?”

“Of course,” Louis almost scoffed. “He’s engaged actually, has been for almost a year now.”

“Wait, really?” Harry asked, not believing it.

“Yeah her name’s Sophia, she’s a nurse at the same hospital as him. She’s really the sweetest person you’ll ever meet, it’s hard not to love her,” Louis said, just thinking about Sophia made him miss her a bit. Holden always loved her company as well, he knows the toddler has been missing the two of them these past 3 months. “They’re getting married in June and I know Liam wants to make everything right between us before the big day comes.”

Harry nodded, knowing that Louis would definitely be Liam’s best man, but June was in another 7 months. He was sure that in that time the two would at least somewhat make up. “Well congrats to Liam and I hope everything works out for him,” he breathed out.

“You sound really sincere with that, I’ll be sure to pass along the message,” Louis said jokingly, earning a quiet laugh from the younger lad. “I’ve uhm, I’ve been wanting to ask you something too…” he said quietly.

“Sure,” Harry said with furrowed eyebrows, Louis almost looking a bit confused.

“I know it’s completely random but I’ve been thinking about it since we started talking again, and I just remember when we were dating you used to talk about her a lot,” Louis said softly, making Harry look at him like he had no clue what he was talking about. “Your mum I mean… Like when we dated you were always talking about her and you would always call her and text her but not once have you brought her up or anything. I just thought you might want her to meet Holden or you would tell her about him or something…”

Louis bit his lip as he saw Harry just looking at him, not sure if he said something wrong but he has been wondering this for a little bit. He knows it’s out of the blue but he didn’t think the younger lad would look so upset at the thought of his mum.

“She’s okay right? Your mum, like she isn’t-”

“No, no I uhm… I think she’s fine,” Harry said quietly as he shook his head. “I just… I haven’t talked to her for a while.”

“How long is a while?” Louis asked with furrowed eyebrows, that not sounding like something Harry would do at all.

Harry let out a deep breath as he looked down at his lap and bit the inside of his cheek. “4 years… Since uhm, well since we broke up,” he said just loud enough for Louis to hear.

“What? Why?” Louis asked in disbelief, knowing Harry was more than close with his mum, that she was his world, his biggest fan and supporter.

Harry shook his head and just stared at his lap. It wasn’t until he saw Louis’ hand come into view, the older lad giving his thigh a gentle squeeze, wanting him to explain. “Louis the night we broke up I… I really messed up,” he barely whispered, almost feeling tears pool in his eyes at the memory.

“Messed up how?” Louis asked worriedly, trying to ready himself to hear something awful.

Harry rubbed a hand over his face, not even wanting to think about that night all those years ago, what he said to his mum, what had happened. “I was just… I lost it a bit a-and Niall had to take me to the hospital to get my stomach pumped… My mum came to see if I was okay but I… I-I was furious and hurt a-and-”

“Hey, it’s alright,” Louis said, stopping him as he saw the younger lad get choked up. “You don’t have to tell me,” he said quietly, his mum clearly being a touchy subject.

Harry shook his head as he bit his lip, begging his tears not to fall. But he wanted to get this off his chest, to actually tell someone this because even after all these years he hasn’t been able to tell anyone, not even Niall what happened between him and his mum.

“She was trying to talk to me, s-she wanted me to go back and let you explain but I-I couldn’t, I was so mad,” Harry barely managed out, trying his hardest to keep himself together but in the end couldn’t, letting his tears fall onto his cheeks just at the thought of his mum’s face. “A-and she kept going on and on about you and I-I couldn’t listen anymore, I-I cracked…” he said, shaking his head and letting out a few deep breaths, wanting to calm down. “I screamed at her… I-I yelled at her to leave me alone and that if she thought I should be with you t-then I didn’t want her near me… A-and I kept screaming at her until she was in tears, until I pushed her so far where she was nearly running out of the hospital… I-I broke her heart…”

Louis couldn’t move as he listened the younger lad, as he saw him nearly shaking at the thought of what he had done to his mum, what he had said to her.

“A-and she tried to call me after, to talk to me b-but I couldn’t pick up the phone. I-I couldn’t face her a-after what I-I had done,” Harry hiccuped out.

“Harry she’s your mum, you know she would’ve forgiven you, you were hurt,” Louis said softly as he reached a gentle hand over and rubbed his back.

Harry quickly shook his head as he wiped his wet cheeks and let out a deep breath. “Louis you don’t know the things I said to her… W-what I screamed at her…”

“But I know your mum, pretty well might I add,” Louis said as he raised his eyebrows at Harry. “Her and I were close when we were dating, and I know she loved you more than anything in the world, if you talk to her and explain everything and tell her how sorry you are she’ll forgive you.”

Harry only shook his head again, gathering himself enough where his throat didn’t feel as tight and his tears stopped. “She won’t look at me the same… I was mad and drunk and in the hospital when all of this happened… How can I face her after that?”

Louis bit his lip, not even able to think about how awful Harry must be feeling for saying those things to his mum, for pushing her away like that. “I’m… I’m sorry I brought it up.”

“You didn’t know… No one did actually, not even Niall,” Harry muttered as he looked to his hands in his lap.

“Why didn’t you tell Niall?” Louis asked with furrowed eyebrows, thinking Harry would at least tell Ed or the Irish lad, them being his best mates.

“What I did was terrible… I knew he would make me talk to her and at the time I couldn’t but now it’s too late…”

Louis bit his lip, that not being true at all. He knew Anne, and he knew just how much she loved Harry, that she would forgive him no matter what happened. But it was clear the younger lad didn’t want to talk about this anymore, that he was still furious at himself for what had happened that night.

“H I’m sorry…” he said quietly. “I won’t bring it up again.”

Harry let out a deep breath as he combed his fingers through his hair and looked over to the older lad. “I uhm, I should get going actually I have to go to the studio.”

Louis furrowed his eyebrows as he watched Harry get off the couch and followed him to the foyer. “Are you mad at me?”

“No, no I swear,” Harry said as he reached for his coat and pulled it on. “I’m just a bit behind in recording my album and I told management I’d get to the studio today.”

“Oh, well then I’m sorry for keeping you so late, you could’ve-”

“Would you stop apologizing?” Harry asked through a quiet laugh. “Seriously it’s fine, you’re stressing over nothing.”

“Right, right I’m sor-”

“Louis,” Harry said stopping him again, making the older lad bite his lip and blush slightly to himself. “C’mere, relax, you did nothing wrong,” he said, pulling Louis into his chest and offering him a small smile. “If anything I should be apologizing to you. I didn’t mean to start crying,” Harry said, letting out his best convincing laugh.

“Don’t apologize for having feelings H,” Louis said as he rolled his eyes. “I’m glad we could actually talk… You know, being open and getting to know each other again,” he said quietly.

“Me too,” Harry said, his soft grin growing as he looked down at Louis. And just as he was about to lean down to kiss the older lad, for the second time tonight he turned away, making him get his cheek instead.

Harry looked down at him confused, Louis slowly turning back towards him but he could see the older lad avoiding his gaze. “Lou what’s wrong? That’s the second time you’ve done that to me tonight. Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, everythings fine,” Louis said quietly as he got out of the younger lad’s arms. “I just… I want to actually take things slow this time,” he barely whispered. “I’m nervous that if we do what we did last time everything will fall apart again…”

Harry bit his lip as he kept his eyes on Louis and nodded slowly, knowing when they started dating the first time they kind of jumped into things. “Of course, yeah, I’m sorry…”

“It’s okay,” Louis said, not wanting Harry to feel bad. “I know, you can’t help yourself around me,” he said teasingly.

Harry groaned as he smiled to himself and shuffled his weight on his feet. “It’s true and I hate it,” he said through a quiet laugh.

Louis rolled his eyes fondly before making his way towards the door and opening it for the younger lad. “You should get going, you have to be a popstar and everything.”

Harry let out a quiet breath but couldn’t help his small grin as he walked towards the door and looked down at the younger lad. “I’ll see you tomorrow,” he said quietly.

“Tomorrow,” Louis confirmed with a single nod.

Harry bit his lip, trying to hold back his smile as he said one more soft goodnight to Louis and made his way towards the car.

*~*

Louis kept his eyes on his dinner plate in front of him before shifting his gaze to Liam across from him. It was a bit nice to actually sit with the younger lad and not feel the need to hit him, and Louis thought that as time went on that feeling would slowly fade away.

“So any plans for the holidays? Have you started any Christmas shopping for Holden?” Liam asked before taking a bite of food.

“You know I penny pinch all year to save up for his gifts,” Louis said through a quiet laugh. “But I haven’t actually bought anything yet and we don’t have any plans.”

“Your mum hasn’t…?” Liam trialed off quietly.

Louis shook his head, almost wanting to scoff at the thought of going back home for Christmas. “You know how she is, how our relationship is.”

“Well you guys still talk right? Like she still calls?” Liam asked with furrowed eyebrows.

“Sometimes,” Louis shrugged. “But even when she calls and asks how I am or how Holden is it sounds like she doesn’t actually care.”

Liam bit his lip as he nodded and looked down to his food. Ever since they were little he knew Louis and his mum weren’t all that close, especially when his sisters were born it was like the blue eyed lad didn’t even exist since she was always with them. And he knows that that strain between Louis and his mum never really went away, that he always resented her a bit for leaving him behind at such a young age.

“Well uhm, what’s Harry doing? Will he go back home for Christmas?” he asked, getting the topic off Louis’ mum.

“No, I don’t think so,” Louis said quietly, remembering the talk he and the younger lad had last night. “I should talk to him though, find out what he’s doing.”

“Well if you uhm, if you want sometime later this week before the crowds at the mall get really bad we can go shopping,” Liam offered. “I have to get some ideas for Soph and still have to get the family some things.”

Louis looked up from his plate and swallowed his food before shrugging. “Yeah, sure,” he said softly. “I have musical rehearsals Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, but Harry has Holden on Fridays and Saturdays so those days are probably better.”

Liam nodded, unable to stop the small smile that came to him as he looked at his best mate. “Well whenever you want to go give me a call,” he said happily. “And you know that uhm, well I haven’t seen Holden in a while and I know Soph misses him and I miss him like crazy…-”

“Mate just… Take it slow yeah?” Louis asked quietly. “You have to realize everything that’s going on with you and Harry and Holden… I have to take everything one step at a time.”

“Of course, yeah, I’m sorry,” Liam said as he bit his lip.

Louis kept his eyes on Liam before nodding at him and looking back down to his food. He was grateful that all night the younger lad hasn’t been pushing him or lecturing him like he usually does. Even when he told Liam about how him and Harry are taking things slow, how he’s giving him more responsibility with Holden, the brown eyed lad didn’t utter anything. And if Liam was biting his tongue as Louis told him about all of these things he was grateful for it.

By the time they were done with dinner Louis definitely felt like things were getting better between them, but it wasn’t good enough for Liam to see Holden, to completely forgive him for what he had done.

But it was nice for things to be seemingly falling into place. After everything that’s been going on finally after what felt like forever everything and everyone was calming down.

And when he got to Harry’s flat it was impossible to push aside how he was feeling. Even if he walked into the living room to see a very awake Holden but a snoring Harry on the couch.

“Daddy!” Holden said excitedly, hopping off the couch and running into his father’s arms.

“Hey big guy,” Louis said quietly through a soft smile before kissing his son all over his face. “You tire Harry out? What happened?” he asked as he laughed to himself.

Holden nodded as he wrapped his arms around his daddy’s neck and grinned up at him. “I make Harry sleepy cause he chase me all over and he lose at hide and seek.”

Louis rolled his eyes fondly, not too happy about Holden being up past his bedtime but at least him and Harry had a good night. “I need you to get pajamas on buddy, where did Harry put your bag?”

“Here,” Holden said, wiggling out of his father’s arms and scurrying over to the recliner. “I go potty then pajamas,” he said, grabbing his bag and running down the hall to the bathroom.

Louis shook his head and smiled to himself as he watched his son nearly skipping down the hall. Once he saw that Holden got to the bathroom though he made his way over to the couch, taking a seat next to Harry and trying to hold back a laugh as he saw him with his mouth hung open and quiet snores escaping him.

“H…” he said quietly. “Harry, wake up,” Louis said through a small grin as he reached a hand up and gently ran his hand through the younger lad’s curls.

He remembers when they were dating this was the best way to wake him up. Harry would always lean into his touch and smile sleepily to himself before he curled even closer to his side. And he did just that, leaning into Louis’ touch as his fingers massaged his scalp and a slow grin made it’s way to the younger lad’s face.

“You have some explaining to do,” Louis said as he let out a quiet laugh and kept running his fingers through Harry’s curls.

“No m’tired,” Harry groaned, not even opening his eyes before he curled into Louis’ side and hid his face in the older lad’s neck.

“Yeah I can see that,” Louis said teasingly. “Which is why I need you to explain why you fell asleep and let our son stay up way past his bedtime.”

Harry felt himself still for a moment, slowly pulling away from Louis and looking at him softly. “That’s the first time you said our son,” he barely whispered.

“Yeah, I… I guess it was,” Louis said quietly, not even thinking before he said it.

If possible Harry’s grin widened even more as he kept his eyes on Louis and cuddled himself even closer into his side. “We talked you know, Holden and I did.”

“Oh yeah?” Louis asked with raised eyebrows. “Did he have more questions? Did he get upset or anything?” he asked with a touch of worry in his voice.

“No he didn’t get upset thankfully,” Harry breathed out. “It was actually quite cute, he basically climbed on top of me while I was laying on the couch when we were watching a movie and he had a really confused look on his face, so I asked him ‘buddy what’s wrong’ and he goes ‘Harry if you my ofer daddy I can no call you daddy cause daddy is daddy. So what I call you?’. And I was completely lost at the question, really had no clue how to answer it,” he said through a quiet laugh. “But I just told him he can call me whatever he wants. You know, dad, daddy, papa, pop, or just Harry I don’t care… I couldn’t get over how cute he was though.”

“Yeah, he’s a pretty cute kid,” Louis said through a soft smile as he looked down at the younger lad. “So what’s he calling you then, did he say?”

Harry shook his head as he tucked himself even closer into Louis’ side. “I think he’s just calling me Harry. And it’s okay, like whatever makes him comfortable. But I do hope that at some point he’ll call me something else, ya know?”

“I’m sure he will H, don’t worry about it,” Louis reassured him. “I’m sure he’s still trying to get used to the idea of you being his other dad, it might take him some time.”

“Yeah I understand that, and it’s okay of course. It’s a lot to digest for a 3 year old, finding out who their other parent is and everything,” Harry said through a quiet laugh as he turned himself completely towards the older lad so he was almost laying on him and draping an arm over his stomach.

Louis hummed as he moved his hand from Harry’s curls, gently running it up and down his back. But just as he was about to say something both he and Harry were startled as a little body jumped on the two of them.

“Why you no tell me we cuddle?!” Holden asked, trying to squeeze himself between the two.

“Sorry big guy,” Louis said, trying to get his breath back as Harry groaned to himself after Holden elbowed and kneed both of them.  “You and Harry can go cuddle as much as you want because it’s bedtime.”

“But daddy,” Holden whined.

“No but’s,” Louis said with raised eyebrows. “Bedtime.”

Holden let out a loud, dramatic groan before climbing over to Harry, hoping he could help convince his daddy to let him stay up. “Harry help,” he said, patting the older man’s shoulder, seeing he was hidding his face in his daddy’s neck. “Make daddy no put me to bed.”

“You need to go to bed buddy,” Harry mumbled into Louis’ neck, ready for bed himself.

“No,” Holden whined even louder, pouting at the two of them.

Louis ran a hand over his face, always hating nights where getting into bed became a fight. Thankfully though Harry took it upon himself to get out from under his arm, pick Holden up and began heading towards the hall. He followed after the younger lad, wanting to see how this plays out because if Louis knows his son, and he does, then Harry will be in for one hell of a fight.

“Harry no bed!” Holden said, kicking his little legs and trying to get out of his arms.

“No bed?” Harry asked with furrowed eyebrows, tightening his grip on the toddler so he wouldn’t go anywhere. “I guess you don’t want to see your surprise then. Oh well I guess-”

“Surprise?!” Holden quickly stopped him with wide eyes.

“Yeah, but I mean if you don’t want to go to bed then I guess you can’t-”

“No, no!! I go to bed!” Holden rushed out. “But surprise first!”

Harry bit his lip, trying to hold back a laugh as he glanced over to Louis who seemed a bit intrigued with this surprise as well. “Well I did want you both here for this so I suppose I can show you.”

Holden jumped excitedly in his arms, almost squealing as they walked down the hall. But when they stopped at the music room door he got confused. “My surprise in there?” he asked with furrowed eyebrows.

“It is,” Harry said, offering him a small smile. “Lou, you wanna do the honors and open the door?”

“Sure,” Louis said, now growing more and more confused as Holden did. But he reached for the door handle anyway and pushed it open. As soon as he did that though his jaw went slack and even when Holden screamed excitedly at what he saw Louis couldn’t move.

“Harry!!!” Holden yelled, wiggling out of his arms and running into the room. “This mine?!”

Harry bit his lip, trying to stop his widening grin as he saw Holden running around his brand new [Spiderman bedroom](https://40.media.tumblr.com/c27962c6b36f473de86f1989e794397c/tumblr_nx2fx3vW6Q1tqp428o1_540.jpg). “It’s all yours big guy. I worked on it all day for you,” he said, the look on Holden’s shocked face better than he imagined.

Holden’s jaw went slack as he looked around the room, not believing what he was seeing before turning back to Harry and sprinting at him. “Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!” he screamed before hugging his legs tightly.

“Of course buddy,” Harry said softly before scooping the toddler up and kissing his cheek sloppily. “I’m happy you like it so much.”

“I love it!!” Holden said, jumping in his arms and wrapping his arms around his neck to hug him.

Harry could barely breathe with how tightly Holden was hugging him, but he hugged his son back despite the lack of air and glanced over at Louis to see him looking right back at him with a soft smile.

“Alright H, c’mon, let your father breathe,” Louis said through a quiet laugh. “You need to go brush your teeth anyway. And once you’re done with that you can sleep in your new Spiderman bed.”

Holden smiled widely to himself at the thought of sleeping in his new bed before nodding quickly, getting out of Harry’s arms and scurrying to the bathroom.

Harry opened and closed his mouth as he watched Holden run out of the room, but then turned to look at Louis.

“What?” Louis asked with furrowed eyebrows.

“I swear I will never get used to this,” Harry barely whispered. “Like the whole you saying ‘your father’ and just you being here with him… It’s unreal.”

Louis smiled to himself as he looked to the younger lad and saw him trying to contain himself. “Well I just thought since he knows now that he should get used to me saying stuff like that. You know, ‘give your dad this’ or ‘Holden your father’s here’. If that’s okay of course, I mean I don’t want you to be put on the spot.”

“No, no, that’s more than okay,” Harry said quickly, trying to keep back his wide grin. “It’s just that after everything that’s happened it’s…” he trailed off, not even sure what to say, how to feel about the past two days alone.

Louis smiled to himself as he nodded and walked towards the younger lad. He took another look around the room, not believing Harry had actually put all this together for Holden before looking back up at him and feeling his smile grow.

And before he could even stop himself or realize what he was doing he reached hand up, brushing his fingers through the back of the younger lad’s curls and stepping impossibly closer to him.

“Louis Tomlinson are you trying to make a move on me?” Harry asked teasingly, snaking his arms around the older lad’s waist.

Louis rolled his eyes as he looked up at Harry, but he didn’t even give him the chance to laugh before he stood on his toes, pressed his lips to the younger lad’s and immediately felt him kiss back.

Harry couldn’t fight off his smile as he felt Louis on him, combing his fingers through the back of his curls and his lips moving gently against his own. And just as he pulled the older lad impossibly closer to him he felt Louis release him and rest his forehead on his chest, letting out a few deep breaths and moving his hands to his biceps.

“We’re pretty bad at this whole taking it slow thing huh?” Harry asked jokingly.

“Shut up,” Louis said as he rolled his eyes and squeezed the younger lad’s arms gently. “Just my way of saying thank you… For all of this I mean,” he said, looking around the room. “It means more than you know…”

“Well I’m just glad both you and Holden like it,” Harry said softly. “It took all day and after being in the studio last night until like 2 am I’m surprised I even finished it,” he said through a quiet laugh.

Louis bit his lip as he tried to keep in his own small chuckle, thinking that must be the reason Harry passed out on the couch.

“Daddy!! Harry! Time to get in new bed!!” Holden said, rushing back into his new room and quickly climbing into his bed.

“Alright buddy, let’s get you tucked in,” Harry said, unwrapping his arms from around the older lad’s waist.

After reading one of the new Robert Frost book of poems Harry got and too many kisses given to Holden to count the two finally made their way out of the room quietly.

“If uhm, if it’s okay I wanted to talk to you a little bit before I head off to bed. I just wanted to change first,” Harry said as he stopped at his bedroom door.

“Sure, yeah,” Louis nodded at him. “I should probably change too, I’m beat. I’ll meet you in the living room,” he said, offering the younger lad a small smile.

Harry grinned back at him before retreating into his room and quickly pulling on a pair of joggers and a fresh t-shirt. He checked himself in the mirror, nearly groaning as he saw how gross he looked. Harry combed his fingers through the top of his curls and tamed the ones on the side before rubbing his hands over his face, trying not to look so tired.

And when he actually deemed himself decent enough Harry made his way towards the living room, only having to hold back yet another groan, but this time at the sight of the older lad on the couch.

“Are you trying to kill me?” he muttered, taking a seat next to Louis.

Louis furrowed his eyebrows as he looked up from his phone and to Harry. “What?”

“Take these off and come here,” Harry said, pulling off the older lad’s glasses and brushing his fingers through his hair so it wasn’t as tousled. “You’re not allowed to look this cute, plus you need pants,” he said through a quiet laugh.

“Anyone who sleeps with pants on is stupid,” Louis said as he rolled his eyes.

“I agree with you but at least I had the decency to put pants on and not torture you,” Harry said, patting Louis’ thigh where the thin material of his boxers was covering.

Louis scoffed as he shook his head and threw his phone off to the side. “Trust me, I would’ve been just fine,” he said earning an eye roll from the younger lad. “But what did you want to talk about?”

“Right uhm so there are a couple things actually,” Harry said quietly. “First off though I wanted to tell you that Clara and I talked today and she wants to know what we’re planning on doing with the paps and media and all that.”

“Uhm… I don’t know,” Louis said slowly, having no clue how things like this work. Sure when they were dating they had their picture taken a couple times but Harry wasn’t nearly as famous as he is now and no one really cared who he was seen with.

“Well it’s just that there’s a lot of speculation and pictures going around right now and I told my management not to confirm anything until I talked to you. But the media wants to know what’s going on and the longer we hold off on talking to them the more damage and drama they’ll cause,” Harry explained quietly.

Louis bit his lip as he nodded to himself, hating the idea of even putting Holden in front of cameras or doing anything like that to him. But he was sure Harry didn’t want that either, so maybe he had a plan. “So what do we do?”

“Clara suggested that we slowly introduce the public to you and Holden,” Harry said through a quiet breath. “Like the three of us go out and a pap will be there and just take a couple pictures, but that’s it. And then there will be some news articles talking about you two, but not confirming anything yet, just getting the public used to seeing you guys with me.”

“But what happens when everyone finds out you’re his dad? Like what are you going to do? Is there anything Holden and I have to do? Do you have bodyguards? We’ll be safe right? Like no crazy fans or paps are going to try to-”

“Lou,” Harry said, putting a hand on the older lad’s thigh and stopping him before he started hyperventilating. “That’s another thing I have to talk to you about, me coming forward and confirming I’m his dad. And don’t worry security is all worked out, there are restraining orders so paps can’t get near you, it’s alright, breathe,” he said through a small laugh.

Louis nodded to himself and let out a few deep breaths, trying his best to calm down and trust Harry with this.

“I have an interview set up the day after New Years and it’s there I’ll be telling everyone about Holden and you,” Harry said quietly. “Which is actually another thing I need to talk to you about…”

“What? New Years?” Louis asked with furrowed eyebrows.

“Y-yeah well uhm… The thing is that I’ll be in New York City to perform on New Year's Eve in Times Square, and then the next day is the interview.”

“Oh…” Louis said quietly, looking down to his lap. “So you won’t be here then?”

Harry bit his lip as he nodded, but he squeezed the older lad’s thigh, wanting him to look at him. “That’s the other thing I wanted to talk to you about… I-I know it’s a lot to ask for and if you say no I totally understand but I uhm, I wanted to ask if you and Holden wanted to maybe uhm, maybe come with me to New York.”

Louis felt his jaw go slack for a second as he looked at the younger lad and took in what he was saying, what he was asking him. “You… You want us to go to New York with you?”

“Yeah I-I mean I was hoping to spend Christmas and New Years with you guys and I just thought that with me leaving you could come. I knew it was a long shot though, I-”

“I need to think about it,” Louis cut him off. “Of course, please spend Christmas with us and it would’ve been nice to spend New Years with you but I don’t know about going away…”

“It’s fine, I completely understand,” Harry said through a quiet breath as he nodded to himself. “But I… I would really love for you to come… I just wanted you guys there for the interview and of course I was hoping to reign in the New Year with you specifically,” he said, sending a small smirk to the older lad, earning a not so subtle eye roll from him. “But of course, think it over, take your time and everything.”

Louis bit his lip as he nodded to himself and looked back to his lap. “Well yes to whatever pap thing you have planned, yes to Christmas and maybe to New Years.”

“Great,” Harry said through a soft smile. “And sorry for just throwing all of this at you. Clara just needed to know to make final details and everything.”

“S’fine,” Louis waved off. “All this crazy stuff was bound to happen at some point.”

“And in the midst of the holidays, I’m sorry,” Harry breathed out, giving the older lad’s thigh a gentle squeeze. “Also, throwing one more thing at you, did you want to go Christmas shopping for Holden later this month?”

“Too many decisions,” Louis groaned, throwing his head back against the couch. “But yeah,” he breathed out.

Harry let out a quiet laugh before patting Louis’ thigh one more time and getting up from the couch. “Alright, that’s it for the night. I’ll finally leave you alone and let you get some sleep.”

“Thank you, my God,” Louis muttered jokingly.

Harry rolled his eyes as he walked towards Louis, knelt down and kissed his cheek gently. “Night.”

“Goodnight,” Louis said quietly, biting his lip to hide his growing smile.

And with that he watched Harry head off towards the hall to get to his bedroom, but sleeping was the last thing on Louis’ mind. He had to think about New Years, think about the paps they were sure to come across and the interview Harry had to do in a month, all at the same time thinking about what to get Holden and Harry for Christmas.

So when Louis finally laid down on the couch he groaned into the pillow, praying his racing thoughts would stop so he could actually get some sleep.

*~*

“Harry where we going?” Holden asked as he looked out the window and saw the buildings zoom by.

“Daddy and I thought it would be fun to go out and do something today,” Harry said, squeezing Louis’ thigh and glancing in the rear view mirror.

“Anofer surprise?!” Holden asked excitedly.

“Kind of buddy, yeah,” Harry said through a quiet laugh.

Louis bit his lip as he glanced over at Harry and rested his hand on top of his that was on his thigh. And when the younger lad looked over to him he offered him a small smile, trying not to think about the two or three paps that will be waiting for them.

“Well hurry there cause I need potty,” Holden groaned.

Harry almost wanted to groan himself as he heard that, knowing for a fact he told the 3 year old to use the bathroom before they left but apparently he was ignored. But he did step on the gas a bit more, making them show up at the building a bit early.

Even when Harry parked the car though he saw two paps waiting by the doors, making him let out a small breath before turning around to look at Holden.

“Hey buddy we’re here, but I wanted to tell you that when we go inside there are just going to be some people taking our picture, okay?” Harry said quietly.

“Why?” Holden asked with furrowed eyebrows.

“You know how some people like to take pictures with Harry and ask for his autograph?” Louis asked and when the toddler nodded he continued. “Well these people want his picture too, but with us,” he explained.

“Oh… okay,” Holden shrugged. “But hurry!! Potty!” he said, trying to get out of his seat buckles.

Both Harry and Louis rolled their eyes as they laughed to themselves and got out of the car, Harry making sure to be quick and help Holden out.

“They won’t get close right?” Louis asked quietly as he saw Harry adjust Holden on his hip.

“No, I promise,” Harry said, giving him a reassuring smile before wrapping an arm around the older lad’s waist. “We’ll just smile, they’ll take a few shots and that’s it, we have the rest of the day to ourselves.”

Louis let out a deep breath and nodded as he shuffled his feet forward and tucked himself into the younger lad’s side, trying to shield himself from the December chill. He glanced over at Holden to make sure he was okay but even when they got closer to the two paps the toddler didn’t have a care in the world.

He could feel Harry pull him closer into his side and saw the curly haired lad offer both the paps a small smile as they snapped quick pictures of them. And Louis couldn’t fight off his own grin as he saw Holden waving at them and saying a happy “hi!!”, making the two men laugh before they took a few more pictures of them as they made their way towards the door.

“Alright guys, thanks,” Harry said, nodding at the paps and having the flashing lights stop.

“Thank you Mr. Styles. We’ll go by Clara’s office and you’ll see a story by tomorrow.”

Harry nodded at the man before shifting Holden in his arms and pulled Louis impossibly closer to his side as they made it to the door. “See? Not too bad right?” he asked.

“Harry! Potty!!” Holden said, quickly tapping the older man’s shoulder.

“Alright, alright,” Harry said through a quiet laugh as Louis opened the door for them and they made it into the building. “Don’t you want to see where we are though?”

“No! Potty!!” Holden said, wiggling out of Harry’s arms and looking all over for a bathroom.

“Oh God, alright, come on, let’s go,” Louis said, seeing his son do his little potty dance before scooping him up. “H you get the tickets or whatever we need, we’ll be quick.”

“Sure,” Harry called after the older lad as he saw him jogging away with Holden to the nearest bathroom.

He got in line and as soon as he did that he noticed people looking over at him, whispering amongst themselves but he ignored them. As he was waiting a few people came up to him and he took quick pictures but that was it. And when Louis and Holden got back from the bathroom Harry put all his attention on them, giving them both the stickers they had to wear so they could get inside.

“Harry what this for?” Holden asked with furrowed eyebrows as he saw the older man putting a sticker on his chest.

“So they’ll let us in. Did you see where we are?” Harry asked before picking the toddler up and pulling off his shoes.

Holden looked at him even more confused before glancing around the room. “What that?” he asked, pointing over to where it looked like a bunch of people were bouncing on something.

“It’s a trampoline park buddy,” Louis said through a small smile as he pulled his own shoes off. “So we can jump all over the place and pretend to be Spiderman and all that fun stuff. What do you think?”

“Daddy I no pretend I Spiderman cause I am Spiderman,” Holden scoffed as he rolled his eyes.

“Of course you are H, don’t let anyone ever say otherwise,” Harry said before kissing the toddler’s cheek, taking his own shoes off and putting everything in a locker, making sure to lock it so no one would steal anything. “Alright boys, we ready to jump around and show all these people our moves?”

“Yes!!” Holden cheered excitedly, already running towards the large trampolines that covered the floor.

Louis rolled his eyes fondly at the 3 year old before watching Harry jog after him, not wanting Holden to get hurt if any of the bigger kids were jumping around and not paying attention. And when the two claimed a section of the huge trampoline Louis couldn’t hold back a laugh as he watched the younger lad trying to do a flip but failed miserably and landed on his back. Holden had no problem jumping around him though and Louis was just grateful they could come here and burn off his abnormally high amount of energy. He was happy to burn off some of Harry’s energy too, knowing tonight would be a calm one with the two of them jumping and leaping around like monkeys and rolling all over the place while they were here.

Louis did join them, jumping around and trying to flip, and he was pleasantly surprised he landed on his feet and not on his bum like Harry. He did notice people taking pictures or videotaping them but Holden didn’t notice and Harry ignored it. So he followed after the younger lad, jumping around with the toddler and trying his hardest to keep up with him.

The more Holden flipped, jumped and giggled Louis thought that maybe for Christmas he could get him a little trampoline for the house. It would definitely take away some of his energy and it was another thing to pull him away from the television. So that was one less present he had to think about, but his biggest gift struggle lately has been what to get Harry.

What do you get someone who can have everything and anything they want?  Louis knew he had to be clever with what he got the younger lad and even if Harry seemed to enjoy the trampoline park just as much if not more than Holden he thought that he could come up with a better present than a trampoline for Harry as well.

But just as he watched Harry throw Holden into a foam pit, making the 3 year old burst into laughter as the curly haired man jumped in after him for some reason Louis got an idea.

He saw how happy Harry and Holden were together and it reminded Louis of something. He knew it would take a few calls and some major planning but Louis was sure this would be one Christmas Harry would never forget.

All I Want Playlist

 

[Let Me Love You](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_eTytNgcYOk) [Ne-Yo-Glee Version](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_eTytNgcYOk) 3:38

[Leave Your Lover](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M8pK3KBwC84) [Sam Smith](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M8pK3KBwC84) 3:26

[The Otherside](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l4Lt4zlCb-M) [Taylor Ward](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l4Lt4zlCb-M) 2:58

[Give Your Heart A Break](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XKiUcTvr-TQ) [Glee Version](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XKiUcTvr-TQ) 3:29

[Friends](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Myaod6GC4U) [Ed Sheeran](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Myaod6GC4U) 3:09

[Make You Feel My Love](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jNBmoj32pq4) [Adele](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jNBmoj32pq4) 3:15

[Tonight](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k-6WAexAPP4) [John Legend Ft. Ludacris](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k-6WAexAPP4) 3:57

[Sometime Around Midnight](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m53cWa-CdUg) [The Airborne Toxic Event](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m53cWa-CdUg) 5:03

[Kiss Me](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MXL8BEPl-Nw) [Ed Sheeran](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MXL8BEPl-Nw) 4:35

[Infinity](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QaY1ezWUhi0) [One Direction- Slow Mode](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QaY1ezWUhi0%20%0A%0A) 5:24

[I’m Gonna Find Another You](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2EZWzq6kXVc) [John Mayer](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2EZWzq6kXVc) 2:43

[Comfortable](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BroiKmNGbfI) [John Mayer](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BroiKmNGbfI) 5:02

[Where Do Broken Heart Go](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6QpPMbzVqic) [One Direction](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6QpPMbzVqic) 3:45

[No Good in Goodbye](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZRNTOabGsDk) [The Script](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZRNTOabGsDk) 3:58

[More Time](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cnGFGkP5Enw) [Needtobreath](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cnGFGkP5Enw) 4:22

Shattered O.A.R 3:57

I’m A Mess Ed Sheeran 4:08

[I Almost Do](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ij1xADeobsg) [Taylor Swift](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ij1xADeobsg) 3:59

[Just A Little Bit Of Your Heart](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F0-50nRyuy8) [Ariana Grande](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F0-%0A%0A50nRyuy8) 3:57

[Don’t Let Me Go](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bEBzek5Hi_s%20) [Harry Styles](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bEBzek5Hi_s) 3:50

[The One](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HJ6PfUZyPGY) Kodaline 4:01

[All I Want](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cqJoVlnmdFQ) [Kodaline](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cqJoVlnmdFQ%20%0A%0A) 4:57

[The One](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K75A16HRdBY) [Sam Smith](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K75A16HRdBY) 3:08

[Make It To Me](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nwxaK3IUlag) [Sam Smith](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nwxaK3IUlag) 3:09

[Lay Me Down](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hQNNm0acHE4) [Sam Smith](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hQNNm0acHE4) 4:01

[I Was Made for Loving You](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XkZaZWsGAg4%20%0A%0A) [Tory Kelly ft. Ed Sheeran](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XkZaZWsGAg4) 3:07

[Faithfully](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ALph_u2iee8) [Boyce Avenue Cover](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ALph_u2iee8) 4:49

[Code by Layouttesst](http://layouttesst.livejournal.com/profile)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts on what Louis is getting Harry for Christmas ?? Thoughts on the chapter in general ?? And on the comments regarding the last chapter do not apologize for voicing your opinion !! You don't have to be sorry for not agreeing with something or someone, it's okay ! If you didn't like something in the chapter that's okay, tell me what you didn't like, what you would've done differently. If you liked the chapter that's awesome too :) Seeing you guys talk and discuss what happens is my absolute favorite thing when posting a new chapter, so please share you opinion no matter what !! Just don't blatantly attack someone, for what they think. This is a safe and fun place for everyone !! I also just wanted to say that I'm happy you guys did pick up that Louis was in a fair amount of pain. I was worried, no one would grasp that, but you did !! Anyway, small rant over, so give comments, kudos are cool, thanks !!


	9. Chapter 9

“Holden!!” Louis yelled up the stairs, hearing the little patter of feet running towards him a second later.

“Daddy!” Holden screamed back, jumping in his father’s arms and smiling widely at him. “Harry here?” he asked, looking towards the door.

“No buddy, but that’s actually why I called you down here,” Louis said as he bit his lip and shifted his son on his hip. “Harry is at the studio tonight and he doesn’t know if he’ll make it in time for dinner.”

“Oh…” Holden said through a small pout. “Well I still call later and say night night.”

Louis kissed the 3 year old’s head as he carried him into the kitchen and checked on his cooking soup. “Well I actually thought it would be fun if we could visit Harry at the studio and bring him dinner. What do you think?”

“Yes!!” Holden said excitedly, jumping in his daddy’s arms. “Harry say studio have lots and lots of buttons!”

“Oh trust me there are lots and lots of buttons,” Louis said through a quiet laugh.

“Well I gon press them all,” Holden said as he giggled to himself and his daddy put him down. “Harry say okay we surprise him?”

“I’m sure he’ll be more than fine with it buddy,” Louis said, Harry sounding terrible over the phone and the younger lad wouldn’t stop saying how sorry he was or how much he would miss the two of them. “Once I have the soup and bread all packed up we can head over there, okay?”

“Okay!” Holden said happily, watching as his daddy put the soup into a container. “Harry be happy we go and I happy we go!”

Louis smiled down at the toddler before ladling the rest of the soup into the container and making sure he had bowls, spoons, and plenty of bread and butter.  “Alright buddy get your winter coat, hat and gloves on please.”

Holden scurried off to the foyer, pulling on all of his winter gear as his daddy carried everything towards the door. “Daddy where my boots?” he asked with furrowed eyebrows, looking all over the floor.

“Oh, Harry got you some new ones, they’re in the closet,” Louis said, placing the food down quickly so he could get his own coat, scarf and hat on.

He didn’t even know when Harry decided to get Holden new boots, he just showed up with them. Granted Louis was meaning to get him a new pair because his old ones were a bit worn down and tattered, but he would have had to dig into his Christmas shopping money. If he was being honest he was a bit grateful Harry got them and saved him the small burden.

“Alright big guy, we ready to go?” Louis asked once he had all of his winter gear on and carefully picked up all of the food.

“Yes!!” Holden said excitedly, already pulling the door open and letting the December cold in.

Louis rolled his eyes playfully as Holden ran to the car and was already trying to get in his seat. He carefully balanced everything in his arms as he locked the door behind him and made his way to the car, putting the food in the passenger seat and then helping Holden buckle up.

“Daddy I want a space car like Harry,” Holden said once they were on the road and looked around his father’s car.

“Yeah, I don’t think that’s gonna happen buddy,” Louis said through a small laugh as he kept his eyes on the dark street.

He heard his son let out a small breath but didn’t say anything else on the matter, so Louis thought that maybe while they were kind of on the subject of Harry they could talk about him a little bit.

“H I wanted to talk to you about something,” he said quietly, glancing in the rear view mirror quickly.

“Okay daddy,” Holden said, kicking his little legs in his seat and watching the buildings pass by.

“So you know Christmas is in two weeks and-”

“And daddy’s birthday!!” Holden said excitedly.

“And daddy’s birthday,” Louis agreed through a quiet laugh. “But after Christmas is New Years and I wanted to know what you thought about maybe spending it with Harry.”

“Daddy you no need to ask, of course we spend with Harry,” Holden scoffed.

Louis bit his lip, trying to keep in another laugh as he rolled his eyes. “Well the thing is that to spend it with your father that means we’ll have to travel with him, like go on a plane, and we’ll be with him for maybe a week or so before coming back home,” he explained.

Holden furrowed his eyebrows, never going on a plane before or spending so much time with Harry. But just at the thought of both those things he was nearly jumping in his seat. “Daddy yes! We go with Harry!!”

“Really?” Louis asked, glancing behind him to the toddler.

He’s been thinking over Harry’s offer for nearly two weeks now and with some help or he would say persuasion from Zayn he was leaning towards telling the younger lad that yes they would join him in New York. But Holden was the deciding factor.

“Cause you know if we go with him if he starts to get a little crazy we can’t get away from him, we’ll be stuck with him,” Louis said, slightly joking.

“Well… Even when Harry go crazy we put him to bed, it okay,” Holden said, knowing sometimes the curly haired man did get a little insane.

“Alright, sounds like a plan,” Louis said through a quiet laugh. “You like Harry a lot huh? If you’re willing to put up with him for that long.”

Holden giggled into his hands and nodded to himself, thinking about all of the silly things Harry does. “I like Harry very much, it okay if he go crazy sometimes.”

Louis hummed, taking what Holden said and thinking that he may have an answer for Harry. The idea was still nerve wracking to him, taking a trip with the younger lad and spending so much consecutive time with him but maybe this could be good for the three of them. Harry and Holden would be spending real time together and maybe the younger lad could experience what it’s like to be a full time parent for a little bit.

So by the time they got to the [music studio](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/59/85/0c/59850c5318fea698264d9f9d51607586.jpg), Louis’ hand holding Holden’s while the other carried the food his mind was made up. He felt crazy and couldn’t believe what he was about to do as they walked down the halls, trying to find the recording booth, but when they finally found where Harry was Louis was done overthinking everything and decided to take the leap, to take the chance.

“Harry!!”

Harry snapped his head up from where he was looking at his guitar and went wide eyed as he saw the two Tomlinsons.

“Surprise,” Louis said, offering him a small smile. “We bring company and food.”

“Holy shi- I-I mean, oh my God, just yeah I’m uh, I’m surprised,” Harry said, trying not to freak out at the sight of the two as he put his guitar off to the side.

“It’s okay that we came right? I mean I’m sorry for just kind of showing up and you’re working, I just thought-”

“Lou stop, you thought right,” Harry said through a quiet laugh as he stood up and walked towards the two, leaning down to Holden and scooping him up. “Everyone else is actually out to dinner but I stayed behind. I wanted to finish this so I could at least make bedtime,” he said, squeezing the 3 year old and kissing him all over his face.

“Daddy want to surprise you with dinner!” Holden said, jumping in the older man’s arms.

Louis bit his lip, trying to ignore the way his face was heating up at how Harry was looking at him. “Well uhm yeah, I just uh… Here,” he said, placing everything on the small coffee table.

Harry watched Louis for a moment, unable to wipe the smile off his face as he saw the older lad trying to organize everything. “Hey,” he said softly, placing a gentle hand on Louis’ shoulder, making him stop for a second and look at him. “Just… Thank you.”

Louis offered him a small grin before nodding at the younger lad, looking back to the coffee table and situating the food. “I uhm, I also wanted to talk- well maybe tell you something I guess.”

“Sure,” Harry said, helping Holden take off his winter gear and sitting down with him on the couch.

“So uhm I know you uh, you asked about New Year's a couple weeks ago and I’ve been thinking…” Louis started off, putting a bowl of soup on the table for Holden, the 3 year old immediately digging into it. “Well H and I decided we would uhm, we’d like to go to New York with you.”

Harry snapped his head up from where he was helping Holden butter his bread, a wide smile immediately stretching across his face. “Louis this is great!!” he said, bounding off the couch and lunging at the older lad, nearly knocking him over as he crushed him in a hug. “You have no idea how happy I am!!”

“I think I have a clue,” Louis said through a quiet laugh, trying to steady himself as he hugged the younger lad back.

“No you don’t just oh my God!!” Harry said, nearly jumping in Louis’ arms. “I need to call Clara and Ed, they’ll be so excited you’re coming and we have so much to plan!! You and Holden have never been and I can show you all around and take you to the shops and-”

“Harry!!” Louis said, stopping the younger lad, needing him to breathe. “Relax, yeah?” he asked softly, cupping Harry’s cheeks and making him stay still.

“Yeah Harry relax and eat some soup,” Holden said, smacking his lips together before eating another spoonful.

Harry let out a few deep breaths as he looked between the two and nodded slowly. “I’m just so happy,” he said through a soft smile, still not believing they were coming with him.

“And I’m happy you’re happy,” Louis said quietly, grinning back at the younger lad before wrapping his arms around his neck. “But we can relax, have some soup, and talk a little bit about the holidays calmly, okay?”

“Hmh,” Harry hummed, trying his hardest to calm down.

“Great,” Louis said through a small smile as he carded his fingers through Harry’s curls. “C’mon let’s eat.”

Harry watched as Louis got a bowl for him and he made his way over to the couch to sit with Holden but it felt near impossible to keep himself together at the news.  “Really I’m just so happy, about you being here now, Christmas, New Years, just everything,” he said, accepting the food Louis was passing him.

“We are too, aren’t we H?” Louis said, getting his own bowl together before looking over to Holden.

“Yes!” Holden said excitedly. “And Harry no forget daddy’s birthday!!”

“Buddy I could never forget daddy’s birthday. Which reminds me that you and I have some planning to do,” Harry said, leaning over and kissing the toddler’s head.

Louis bit his lip, trying to hold off a smile as he took a seat next to the younger lad. “You know I hate surprises,” he muttered.

“Oh c’mon Lou, you’ll be fine. H and I will do something really special, won’t we?” Harry asked, grinning down at the 3 year old.

“Of course!” Holden said like that was a stupid question. “Me and Harry make birthday real nice daddy, no worry.”

Louis rolled his eyes fondly as he sipped at his soup, hoping the two wouldn’t plan something huge. He always liked nice dinners whether they were home cooked or going out, but parties he was never really a fan of. Maybe it was just that he didn’t like having all of the attention on him, but with Harry’s fame and the way a new article came out nearly everyday about the three of them it was hard to keep the attention off him.

Of course Holden didn’t notice a thing, every day went by like nothing at all was changing. But Louis had noticed.

He mostly noticed at school as he walked down the halls, that the kids would whisper when he walked by or would look at him wide eyed. When he and Holden went out it seemed like there was always at least one person who recognized the two of them from the tabloids but Louis was just grateful no one had stopped them or followed them. He did worry though, thought that it was only a matter of time before these things happened, before things got really crazy.

“Lou.”

Louis jumped slightly as he heard Harry whispering in his ear, but quickly gave his attention to the younger lad.

“I was thinking, maybe this weekend if you’re free we can do a little Christmas shopping for H,” Harry said quietly, making sure the 3 year old couldn’t hear him. “Maybe Zayn could watch him or if he’s busy I know Niall or Ed wouldn’t mind at all.”

“Uhm yeah, yeah, that sounds fine,” Louis said through a small smile. “We can go Saturday afternoon and then back to yours for our sleepover?” he asked jokingly.

“It’s a date,” Harry said, sending the older lad a wink before looking back to his food.

Louis bit his lip as he felt his face heating up, but if anyone asked he was just a bit warm from the soup. And he focused on his soup as Harry and Holden talked about nonsense next to him, trying keep himself together and not overthink this “date” thing. It was just Christmas shopping for Holden, that was it. Just two parents shopping for their son and nothing more.

He kept telling himself that as they ate, and once they were done eating and Harry showed them what he’s been working on he pushed the thought away. And when Holden was nearly falling asleep in his arms and Harry kissed his cheek goodnight he ignored the way his stomach twisted into knots. Louis was sure they would have a nice afternoon together, but it wasn’t a date.

*~*

“So how was your date with the popstar?”

Louis rolled his eyes as he took a bite of his lunch and looked at Zayn across from him. “It wasn’t a date,” he muttered.

“That’s not what I heard on the radio this morning,” Zayn said, wiggling his eyebrows at his best mate.

“What? What’d they say?” Louis asked quickly. He knew a couple paps caught them out and they were stopped in the mall a few times but he didn’t think something as little as going shopping would get media attention.

“That Harry Styles was seen out Christmas shopping with his reported boyfriend Louis Tomlinson and that the two went to lunch and couldn’t keep their eyes off each other the entire time,” Zayn said through a small smirk. “So I’ll ask again… How was the date?”

“And I'll say again, It wasn’t a date,” Louis said as he shook his head. “We did do those things, but it wasn’t a date.”

“Hmh, sure,” Zayn hummed. “You know when you dropped Holden off at my place you just said you were going shopping… You didn’t care to share who you were shopping with?”

Louis shrugged as he took another bite of his food. “I didn’t think it mattered.”

“Oh yeah, it’s not like in a week’s time you’ll be jetting off to another country with this guy or anything… Or you know spending Christmas with him and maybe planning the most beautiful and thoughtful gift ever for someone you haven’t gone on a date with-”

“Okay, okay, I get it!” Louis said, stopping him. “Harry and I are just… Well we’re uhm, I don’t know what we are exactly, but we’re taking things slow and that’s it. Saturday was strictly shopping.”

“So the picture I saw of you two holding hands was just a friendly thing then?” Zayn asked teasingly.

Louis opened and closed his mouth, now more than ever hating the people with cameras. “Where did you see that?”

“Well when I got to work this morning after hearing the radio I was a little too interested and may have stumbled upon some pictures,” Zayn said, trying to hold back a laugh as he saw his best mate’s face.

“What kind of pictures?” Louis asked quietly, his lunch forgotten.

Zayn’s smirk only grew, Louis knowing very well what kind of pictures. “Oh you know, just ones with his hand on your lower back or you two holding hands. Oh! And you know what I’m pretty sure I saw one where maybe a certain blue eyed lad was kissing a certain-”

Louis let out a loud groan before banging his head on the table, no way this could be happening to him. “It wasn’t even a kiss! A peck at most!!” he mumbled annoyed into the table.

Zayn scoffed as he shook his head and reached for his own lunch. “Whatever you say mate,” he muttered. “But I just have to know, what did Harry do to deserve that “peck”?” he teased.

Louis picked his head up before rubbing his hands over his face and letting out a deep breath. “Just… All day he was being really lovely, like paying for lunch and he refused to let me pay for any of Holden’s gifts that we got, which I have to say was a huge load off my shoulders,” he said quietly. “I don’t know we just had a really nice day and it was fun and Harry was being so sweet, I just thought-”

“Mate you don’t have to justify it, like you didn’t do anything wrong,” Zayn said through a chuckle. “I just wished you told me you started dating a popstar, that’s all.”

Louis rolled his eyes as he nibbled on his bottom lip, trying to stop himself from saying it wasn’t a date yet again. “You’re the worst,” he muttered as he packed up his lunch. “I’m going to meet with Niall and talk about the musical and you are not going to tell or discuss my relationship with Harry with anyone.”

“Lou I don’t have to, everyone in bloody England probably knows. You guys have been all over the news since you went to that trampoline place.”

Louis narrowed his eyes at the younger lad before letting out an annoyed groan and stomping towards the door. “It wasn’t a date!!”

*~*

Louis’ eyes snapped open at the sound of something banging against the floor, followed by a loud giggle and an even louder groan. He slowly sat up and swung his legs over the couch, rubbing his hand over his face and reaching for his glasses on the coffee table before he actually got off the couch.

Louis shuffled into the kitchen, hearing Holden instructing Harry to do something and when he actually caught sight of the two he saw the younger lad cleaning what looked like some kind of batter that had spilt all over the floor.

“Daddy!!”

He could barely react before the toddler was jumping in his arms and clinging to his neck, but that didn’t stop the small smile that came to him.

“Happy birthday!!” Holden cheered in his daddy’s arms. “Sorry, Harry make mess so breakfast not ready.”

Louis raised his eyebrows at the 3 year old before looking over to Harry, the younger lad’s cheeks tinted pink as he stood up from the floor.

“I uhm… Sorry,” Harry said sheepishly as he scratched the back of his neck and walked towards the two. “But no worries I’ll make another batch and I promise to make the best breakfast ever. Oh, and happy birthday,” he said through a quiet laugh before resting a hand on the older lad’s hip and kissing his cheek gently.

“Thank you, to both of you,” Louis said through a soft smile as he squeezed Holden and kissed his head.

“Daddy me and Harry have big plans! You be very surprise!” Holden said happily as he wrapped his arms around his father’s neck.

Louis shifted his gaze to Harry, the younger lad knowing very well he hates surprises.

“It’s not that big Lou, don’t worry,” Harry said as he chuckled to himself and pat the older lad’s side before cleaning up the rest of his mess on the floor. “Trust me, I know you have your limits when it comes to surprises, but you’ll like this one.”

Louis pursed his lip before looking back to Holden and seeing the 3 year old nod at him. “So what’re we doing today then? Besides spilling breakfast all over the floor,” he said teasingly.

Holden giggled into his daddy’s neck as he saw Harry rolling his eyes playfully. “Harry make breakfast then we get dressed then we go play outside in snow and Harry make lunch!”

“Well what about dinner?” Louis asked, placing Holden on the counter next to where Harry was making a second batch of batter.

“Surprise,” Harry said, knocking their hips together and sending a wink over to Holden, getting one in return from the 3 year old. “What do you think we were doing all day yesterday? We had to get some gifts and plan some stuff, didn’t we H?” he asked, passing the toddler a strawberry before he picked up the bowl and poured some of the batter into the waffle iron.

Holden hummed and nodded to himself as he chewed on his strawberry. “No worries daddy me and Harry do good job.”

“I’m sure you gave your father all the ideas though huh?” Louis asked, kissing his son’s head.

“Well Harry help a little bit,” Holden shrugged.

Louis rolled his eyes fondly as he let out a quiet breath and looked over to Harry. But he caught the younger lad just looking at the waffle iron, biting the inside of his cheek as he focused on what he was doing. And Louis knew what was running through his head, what he was thinking about.

It’s been almost a month since they told Holden that Harry was his dad and Louis knew it was hard for the younger lad to still be just “Harry” and not daddy or papa. But he also knew that Harry wanted to give Holden time, to let the 3 year old make his own decision as to what to call him and when he’ll start actually doing it. So all Louis could do was reach for Harry and rub his back gently before offering him a reassuring smile and letting him get back to cooking.

And by the time Harry was done with everything there was a huge spread on the table and the younger lad had perked up completely. He made sure to give Louis extra chocolate chips, syrup and whipped cream, just the way he likes it before helping Holden with his own plate. And Holden much like his daddy had requested a plate full of sugar with a side of waffle.

Harry had also made eggs, sausage, bacon, and cinnamon toast, so by the time they were done with breakfast the three boys were more than ready to do nothing but sit and maybe nap. At least Louis and Harry were ready for a nap.

“Up! Up! We go in snow!!” Holden said, already pulling everything out of his bag until he found his snow gear.

“No, five more minutes,” Louis grumbled from the couch.

“Get up,” Holden groaned, running over to the two and pullling on their hands.

Unlike Louis though Harry let himself get pulled, but instead of getting on his feet he dramatically fell to the floor.

Holden’s jaw dropped as he looked at the older man on the floor, him being completely still and not looking like he was going to move any time soon. “Daddy! Daddy!! Help!! I hurt Harry!!” he yelled panicked before running over to his father and hitting his leg to get his attention.

“What am I supposed to do H? You’re the one that hurt your pop,” Louis said, trying to hold back a laugh as he saw the younger lad smiling at him from the floor.

Holden opened and closed his mouth as he looked between the two, Harry not moving an inch. “Harry…?” he asked quietly, taking a careful step towards the older man. “Harry you hurt?” Holden asked as he knelt down by his head and pat his hair gently.

Louis just watched the two, Holden looking more and more worried by the second as Harry was laying there motionless. But just when the 3 year old looked close to losing it Harry popped up, saying a loud “boo!!” before Holden screamed and the younger lad pulled him to the floor and began tickling him.

But when Holden was breathlessly giggling in Harry’s arms and the younger lad gave up on his tickle attack Louis had gained enough energy to actually get up and get ready to go outside.

There was a park just a block away from Harry’s building so once the three of them were dressed for the cold they made their way outside, Holden’s hands claiming theirs as he walked between the two and skipped along the path.

*~*

“Here you are Lou,” Harry said softly, passing the older lad a cup of tea.

“Thanks,” Louis said as he sniffled to himself. “As much fun as snowballs, forts and wrestling is I’m happy to be out of cold and have H down for a nap,” he said through a quiet laugh before taking a sip of his drink.

“You look like you could use a nap yourself,” Harry said, combing his fingers through the back of the older lad’s hair before wrapping his arm around his waist and grabbing Louis’ mug to set it on the coffee table.

Louis hummed as he rested his head against Harry’s shoulder and cuddled into his side. “I can’t miss any of my birthday now can I?”

“It’s not like you’ll be missing much,” Harry laughed into the older lad’s hair. “I'll just be making lunch.”

“But what if I wanted to talk to you?” Louis asked quietly, looking up the curly haired lad.

At that Harry raised his eyebrows and smiled down at Louis before burying his nose in his hair. “Talk about what?” he asked, pressing a gentle kiss to his head.

“Uhm I wanted to uhm-” Louis swallowed thickly, trying desperately to ignore Harry’s lips trailing from his hair, to his temple and near his ear. “C-Christmas.”

“Yeah?” Harry asked through a small smirk, moving his lips just behind the older lad’s ear, down his neck. “What about it?”

Louis opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out as he felt his jaw drop completely at where Harry was kissing him. Of course the younger lad would remember just where on his neck and how to kiss him. How to move his lips against his skin and how to press his fingers into his side, making sure there was absolutely no room between them.

“Uh if you u-uhm wanted to m-maybe uhm-”

“If I wanted to maybe…?” Harry hummed against his skin before releasing the older and looking at him with a soft smile.

Louis looked right back him, his breath coming up short at how the younger lad was grinning at him. “You know how much I hate you right?” he asked, getting an eye roll and a gentle kiss on his cheek from Harry.

“Really? You hate me?” he asked through a smirk before attaching his lips back onto Louis, kissing him right under his jaw.

“Yes,” Louis groaned as he laughed to himself and lightly pushed Harry away from him. “Talk first, then we can get back to this.”

Harry let out quiet breath and muttered a dramatic “fine”, making the older lad scoff and flick his ear. “What did you want to ask me?” he asked through a chuckle, pulling Louis closer to his side and rubbing his hand up and down his side.

“Well after whatever you have planned for tonight I was wondering if maybe you wanted to come back to mine and sleep over, that way we can get right to presents in the morning,” Louis said, resting his head on the younger lad’s shoulder and looking up at him.

Harry hummed and nodded as he buried his nose back into Louis’ hair.

“Also uhm, tomorrow after lunch I was thinking we could take a little road trip up north so we’ll need to pack a bag,” Louis said quietly as he bit his lip.

Harry stilled for a second, pulling away from the older lad and looking at him with furrowed eyebrows. “Where up north and for how long? You know we leave for New York the 28th.”

“I know I uh, I planned for us to be back the 27th if that’s okay.”

“Yeah sure, that’s fine,” Harry said as he nodded to himself. “But where are we going? Did you want to go up to Doncaster to visit your family?” he asked, almost a bit surprised, knowing Louis wasn’t all that close with them.

Louis opened his mouth to say something, trying to figure out what to tell the younger lad. Doncaster was only about two hours away from where he actually wanted to go and was somewhat in the same general direction, so maybe he could just say they were going there.

“Yeah I uhm, you know I haven’t seen them since Holden was born so I thought it’d be nice,” he said quietly, trying his best to sound convincing because he was maybe the world’s worst liar.

“Of course, yeah,” Harry said through a small smile. “And thanks for inviting me along and everything, I’m sure it’ll be great,” he said, pressing his lips to the older lad’s temple. “I think your mum will be really happy to see you.”

Louis had to physically stop himself from scoffing and rolling his eyes at the thought of actually seeing his mum and not just getting a phone call from her. Instead he just hummed and nodded as he offered the younger lad a soft smile.

“If you want I can even drive up there. We can take my Range Rover so we’ll have some room in the car for bags and everything,” Harry offered.

“Yeah, let’s take your car but uhm, if it’s okay can I drive?”

“Lou are you sure?” Harry asked with furrowed eyebrows. “That’s like a three hour drive.”

“Yeah, m’sure,” Louis said as he grinned up at him.

Harry looked at the older lad for a second, him acting a little strange about all of this but nodded anyway. “So is that all you wanted to ask me then?”

Louis nodded and was about to ask why but he couldn’t even do that before he felt Harry’s lips on him again. But it was also the same exact time he heard the oven timer go off, signalling the same time their pizza for lunch was done.

"Later," Louis said, sending a wink to the younger lad and patting his thigh before getting up to get the pizza.

Harry let out a groan as he threw his head back against the couch and just as he was about to complain a pair of lips cut him off.

“You know, you’re really bad at this whole taking it slow thing,” Louis said teasingly, just barely pulling away from the younger lad.

Harry smiled softly up at Louis as he stood over him, and couldn’t help but wrap his arms around the older lad and pull him into his lap. “Well I just thought that it’s your birthday and we should make it memorable,” he mumbled into his neck. “Remember when we were together and how we spent your birthday?... In bed?... And on the couch? And the kitchen? And-”

Louis cleared his throat, his face immediately heating up as he very well remembered that birthday. “Y-yeah well uhm t-that won’t be happening any time soon,” he managed to stutter out before patting Harry’s chest and trying to get off his lap.

Harry hummed, tightening his grip on the older lad just so he could peck his lips quickly and then pat his bum, letting him get up. “You get the pizza, I’ll get the boy,” he said, standing up with Louis.

“Fair warning, he only got about an hour long nap so you’ll be in for a little bit of a fight to get him up,” Louis said, making his way towards the kitchen.

Harry let out a dramatic deep breath as he nodded and cracked his knuckles, mentally and physically preparing himself. “If you hear crying it’s probably coming from me. Wish me luck,” he said as seriously as possible, earning a loud laugh from the older lad.

“There will be no crying on Christmas eve!!” Louis yelled from the kitchen. “Best way to wake him up is to rub his back, try that!”

Harry actually took note of that before making his way down the hall and to Holden’s room. A cranky 3 year old was something he didn’t want, especially with it being Louis’ birthday and they still had big plans for later. He was sure though that if he reminded Holden of their plans the toddler would have no problems perking up.

*~*

“I can’t believe you’re making me wear this monkey suit,” Louis grumbled as Harry did his tie around his neck.

“Oh stop, you’re fine,” Harry said through a quiet laugh, trying to focus on what he was doing. “You have to admit you’ve had a pretty amazing day.”

Louis rolled his eyes but he couldn’t help the small smile that came to him. This may have been one of the best birthdays he’s had in a long, long time, but he couldn’t give Harry satisfaction that easily. He was sure the younger lad knew already anyway.

The day was nice and relaxing, after lunch Harry packed a bag and they went back to Louis’ house where the younger lad put the fireplace on and the three of them cuddled up for a Christmas movie.

Harry had also made dinner, remembering Louis’ absolute favorite comfort foods and surprising him with maybe the best barbeque pulled pork and mac and cheese poppers Louis has ever had in his life. He was sure after dinner Holden had two new favorite foods as well. But it was time for Harry and Holden’s surprise and Louis for the life of him couldn’t figure out why they would make him put on a suit.

“There we go, all done,” Harry said happily once he was done with Louis’ tie, pressing a gentle kiss to the older lad’s cheek.

Louis nodded and let out a quiet breath before turning to look in his mirror, having to admit that maybe this wasn’t so bad.

“You look amazing,” Harry said softly, coming up behind Louis and wrapping his arms around his waist before nuzzling his nose into his neck.

Louis bit his lip, trying to stop his widening grin as he ducked his head sheepishly and turned around in the younger lad’s arms before wrapping his own arms around his neck and smiling up at him.  “You always looked better than me in suits,” he said, gently fixing Harry’s bowtie and running his hand down the front of his jacket.

Harry let out a quiet laugh as he shook his head and dipped down, softly pressing his lips to the older lad’s. And just as he tightened his arms around Louis he heard the little patter of feet running into the bedroom.

“No more kissin and help!!” Holden said, tugging on his daddy’s suit jacket.

Louis couldn’t help the small laugh that escaped him before feeling the younger lad peck his lips one more time and looking down at the toddler. “Look at you my handsome boy,” he said, seeing Holden in his own little suit. “Did Harry get this for you?”

“Yeah!” Holden said happily, Harry kneeling down to his height and taking his bowtie from him so he could tie it around his neck. “But Harry I need talk to you.”

“Of course buddy,” Harry said, fixing the bowtie around the 3 year old’s neck. “Is it about the surprise though? Remember we can’t tell daddy.”

“No, no about surprise,” Holden said shaking his head. “You no more kissin daddy,” he said seriously, pointing a little finger at the older man.

“What? No more kissing daddy? Why not?” Harry asked with furrowed eyebrows, tucking Holden’s dress shirt into his pants and making sure his jacket was on right.

Louis looked down at his son, almost nervous that he didn’t like the idea of him potentially being with Harry. The younger lad looking back at him a bit nervous himself, seeming like he was thinking the same thing.

“Because if you kiss daddy that mean less kisses for me,”  Holden said through a small pout.

Louis let out a breath of relief the same time Harry laughed to himself and shook his head. “Trust me H, I have unlimited kisses for both of you,” he said, scooping the toddler up and kissing him all over his face, making Holden giggle.

Harry looked over at the older lad with raised eyebrows before stepping closer to Louis, making sure he was close enough so Holden couldn’t hear. “We’ll have to put that to test later then, won’t we?” he teased through a whisper.

Louis rolled his eyes as he gently elbowed the younger lad and shifted the toddler on his hip. “C’mon boys, we can’t be late to wherever it is we’re going.”

“Fine,” Harry breathed out through a small smile.

“Surprise time!!” Holden said excitedly, jumping in his daddy’s arms. “Harry we go in big space car!!” he said as his father started heading towards the stairs.

“Yeah, we’re going in big space car,” Harry said through a quiet laugh, the toddler referring to his [Range Rover](https://40.media.tumblr.com/fde9539ed9c8892b597d01c29b261bf8/tumblr_nxfpdsFosq1tqp428o1_540.jpg).

Holden nearly squealed as he heard that, if possible loving the big space car more than the little one. And once everyone had their winter coats, gloves and scarves on he was quick to run out into the snow and try to open the car door.

Harry helped Holden into his seat and when the toddler was all buckled up and Louis was walking towards the car after locking the front door he opened the passenger door for the older lad and let him get in before he made his way to his own side of the car.

As soon as they were on the road Harry reached over, placing a gentle hand on Louis’ thigh and softly smiling to himself as he felt the older lad place his hand on top of his own. He could also feel the tickets burning a hole in his inside jacket pocket, praying that Louis would even remotely like where they were going.

Harry had some faith though. He thought the rest of the night would be lovely and that hopefully he and Holden made this birthday special.

The entire ride they were singing along to Christmas carols and Holden looked out the window, mesmerized by the shining snow that covered the ground. But they were about halfway there when Louis’ phone ringing stopped their singing and the older lad took his hand off Harry’s, reaching into his pocket and pulling it out.

“Who’s that?” Harry asked glancing over to him before looking back to the road.

“Liam,” Louis said through a quiet breath, thinking the younger lad was calling him to say happy birthday and wish them a Merry Christmas.

“Uncle Liam?” Holden perked his head up. “Daddy, daddy, give me!!” he said quickly, reaching from his seat, wanting the phone.

Louis looked over to Harry quickly, biting his lip and thinking about it for a second before letting out a deep breath, tapping the “accept” button and passing his phone to the toddler.

“Uncle Liam!!” Holden nearly yelled into the phone excitedly.

Harry glanced in the rear view mirror, seeing Holden smile so wide it must’ve hurt as he listened to whatever it was Liam was saying. He felt Louis’s hand back on his, this time tangling their fingers together and giving his hand a gentle squeeze.

Harry offered the older lad a small tight lined smile before bringing up their folded hands and kissing Louis’ gently. He settled them back on Louis’ lap, every so often looking back at Holden and hearing some of his conversation with Liam.

“Uncle Liam why you sound sad?” Holden asked with furrowed eyebrows. But as soon as he heard the older man on the other line he couldn’t help but frown at what he had said. “I miss you too,” he said quietly.

At that Louis turned around, asking for his phone back before Holden could ask Liam when he could see him. And thankfully the toddler didn’t put up much of a fight, letting out a deep breath before saying bye to his uncle and passing his daddy his phone.

“Hey mate,” he said into the phone, catching Harry’s eye as he glanced over at him and listened to Liam through the phone. “Yeah thanks, and Merry Christmas to you too.”

He tangled his fingers with the younger lad’s again, getting a small smile out of him before he focused back on the snowy streets. “Uhm no I’m actually not at home,” Louis said focusing back on what Liam was saying. “Harry is taking Holden and I somewhere, they’ve got a little surprise for me,” he said, giving Harry’s hand a gentle squeeze. “Liam says hi and Merry Christmas,” Louis said, shifting his eyes to the younger lad.

Harry hummed as he nodded to himself and kept his focus on the road in front of him, knowing they were getting close the further and further they got into the city.

“He says hi and Merry Christmas back,” Louis said through a quiet laugh, earning and playful eye roll from the curly haired lad. “Yes of course he really said it, I swear,” he said, Liam doubting that Harry said anything. “No, no trust me he doesn’t hate you that much, he just-”

Harry scoffed, looking over at Louis like “are you kidding me?” before shaking his head and turning back to the road. “As if he likes me at all either,” he muttered.

He felt Louis squeeze his hand so he looked over to him, only to see the older lad mouth “stop it” and nod towards Holden in the back seat. So Harry let out a deep breath and nodded, grateful the toddler was too focused on the snow falling around the car to actually be listening.

Louis only talked with Liam for a few more minutes before saying his final goodbyes and hanging up the phone, noticing how far into the city they were. “Are we almost there?”

“Right here,” Harry said happily, pulling up to the curb, right next to a valet.

He hopped out of the car, passing his keys to the valet before getting a receipt for the car and going over to Louis’ door to help him out. As soon as Louis was out of the car and the pair made quick work of getting Holden out, Harry took the older lad’s hand to lead him to where they needed to go.

“Wait, whoa, whoa,” Louis said, pulling on Harry’s hand, his eyes going wide as he saw where they were. “We’re not going in there,” he said in disbelief.

“What? There?” Harry asked through an amused smile. “Of course we are, that’s where your surprise is,” he said, tugging Louis’ hand and nearly dragging him forward.

“Daddy walk, it’s cold,” Holden said, cuddling into his father’s chest to get warm.

Louis opened and closed his mouth, trying to gather where they were and that they were actually going inside. But the closer and closer they got to the building, seeing people dressed in fancy clothes like them it felt less and less real.

“Oh my God, I can’t believe this is happening,” he barely whispered as he shifted Holden on his hip and looked up to the huge round building. “Harry squeeze my hand so I know this is real, holy shit.”

Harry couldn’t help the small laugh that escaped him as he squeezed the older lad’s hand. “Welcome to Royal Albert Hall,” he said through a soft smile once they made their way through the doors.

Louis felt his jaw drop as he gently placed Holden down, scared if he held him any longer he would drop him out of shock. “Harry I don’t even know what to say…”

“Well you could ask what we’re seeing,” Harry said teasingly, reaching into his jacket pocket and pulling out the tickets.

Louis could barely breathe as he slowly reached for the tickets from Harry and as soon as he saw what was printed on them he slapped a hand over his mouth. Even if Holden was looking at him like he was crazy and Harry was letting out barking laughs he didn’t care, this was too perfect to be true.

“Oh, stop, don’t do that, c’mere,” Harry said, wrapping Louis in a strong hug, seeing as he was a second away from crying.

Louis immediately wrapped his arms around Harry, tucking his head into the younger lad’s neck and trying desperately to keep himself together. “Y-you remembered,” he barely managed to whisper.

Harry felt himself still for a second, letting out a deep breath and pulling Louis even closer to his chest. “Of course I did,” he said softly, rubbing gentle circles into the older lad’s back.

Louis sniffled to himself, wiping away the single tear that escaped him before reaching a hand behind the younger lad’s neck and pulling him down for a soft kiss. And it was immediate Harry started kissing him back, his smile unmissable as he cupped his cheeks and moved his lips gently against his own.

“Happy birthday,” Harry said quietly through a small grin, leaning his forehead against the older lad’s before pecking his lips one last time.

Louis smiled right back up at him, carding his fingers through back of the younger lad’s curls right before he felt a light tug on his suit jacket.

“Daddy, Harry come on, we miss show,” Holden whined as he raised his arms, wanting to be picked up and growing impatient.

“Let your pop carry you, I’m afraid I’ll drop you from shock,” Louis said through a quiet laugh, the toddler nodding and letting Harry scoop him up.

The three made their way towards the theater, getting their coats checked and led to where their seats were. Of course Louis should’ve expected Harry to get the best box seats the theater had to offer and all to themselves no less, but still when they got there his jaw went slack.

“Harry this is incredible,” Louis said as he looked around the large theater around them, settling in his seat next to the younger lad.

“I’m happy you like it,” Harry said, adjusting Holden on his lap. Even when he told the toddler he had a seat for him the 3 year old was adamant about staying on his lap and cuddling into his chest. But just as he got completely comfortable he felt his phone vibrating in his pocket. “Hey Lou it’s Clara, I gotta take this,” he said, standing up and placing Holden on his seat. “I’ll be quick, promise,” Harry said, leaning down to press a gentle kiss to the older lad’s cheek before answering his phone and heading out of the box.

Louis smiled after him before turning back around in his seat and looking down at Holden. He still couldn’t get over how cute he looked in his little perfectly fitted tux with his hair styled the same way as his. Really Louis was more or less surprised the 3 year old wasn’t complaining about it.

“Daddy?” Holden asked, shifting in his seat so he was sitting on his knees and fully looking at his father.

“What big guy?”

“What Harry remember that make you sad?” Holden asked quietly. “You no like you surprise?”

“Oh buddy I love my surprise, I really do,” Louis said softly, wrapping an arm around the toddler. “Do you remember when I told you that Harry and I used to be very good friends?” he asked quietly.

Holden furrowed his eyebrows but nodded slowly, somewhat remembering that conversation he had with his father all those months ago.

“Well when we were good friends we spent my birthday together and I told him about when I was little like you that I used to watch a movie with my family and this musical we’re seeing is that movie,” Louis explained quietly. “I told him that I’ve always wanted to come here because every year they put in on on Christmas Eve but I never had the chance to go,” he said, thinking that without Harry he probably never would’ve been able to come since the tickets were beyond expensive.

Holden’s mouth made an ‘O’ as he nodded to himself and reached for his daddy’s tie, wanting to play with it. “Well I happy you like you surprise,” he said through a small smile.

“I love my surprise,” Louis said, kissing the toddler on his cheek. “This is the best birthday ever, thank you buddy.”

“Well Harry help little bit,” Holden said as he giggled to himself.

“I’m sure your pop helped more than a little there buddy,” Louis said through his own laugh, gently rubbing the his son’s back. “H can I ask you something?” he said softly.

“Okay daddy,” Holden said, playing with his father’s tie.

“Buddy you do understand that Harry is your other dad right?” Louis asked quietly, taking his tie away from the 3 year old, wanting him to look at him. “Like you understand what that means?”

“He other daddy like you,” Holden said as he nodded to himself.

Louis bit his lip, the toddler seeming to get what he was saying, that he understood just fine that Harry was his father as much as Louis was. And it was a bit of a relief to him that Holden really understood or wasn’t confused over it.

“Hey, sorry about that,” Harry said, coming back into the box and picking Holden up, only to sit and place him right back down on his lap.

“Everything okay?” Louis asked, feeling someone tap his shoulder before he saw someone offering him a program for the show and he took it gratefully.

“Yeah she just saw a couple pictures up online of us being here and she asked if she wanted me to have a bodyguard come, but I said it was okay,” Harry breathed out, looking over to the older lad and having to hold back a laugh as he saw him squinting at the program.

He reached into his jacket pocket, pulling out Louis’ glasses and passing them to him. He remembered when they were dating he would always carry them around because for some reason Louis could never remember them. So whenever they went out to eat or the blue eyed lad was doing homework Harry always had them on him just in case.

“Look at you all prepared,” Louis said through a chuckle, taking his glasses from the younger lad and putting them on. “And how can pictures be up of us? We haven’t even been here that long.”

“I know it’s annoying but it’s normal,” Harry said quietly. “It’s just fan pics, that’s all,” he said, wrapping his arms around Holden and burying his nose in the toddler’s feathery hair.

Louis hummed as he scanned down the program, trying to hold back how excited he was as he read more about it. He could hear Holden and Harry talking about something but he was a bit too invested in what he was reading about the show. It was only when the lights were dimming did he put the program down and quickly looked to the stage, Harry having to put his hand on his thigh just to keep him still.

Louis quickly passed his glasses back to Harry, more like shoving them at him before locking his gaze on the stage.

Harry scrambled to actually take the glasses from the older lad but as soon as they were back in his jacket pocket he wrapped a secure arm around Holden and placed a gentle hand on Louis’ thigh, feeling his hand on top of his a second later. And as Harry glanced over at the older lad it was impossible to miss his wide smile as he looked at the stage. Then there was also Holden cuddling into his chest and Harry only wondered how long it would take for him to doze off.

But as the opening to A Christmas Carol started he couldn’t remember the last time he had such a nice Christmas Eve. It was probably the one he spent with Louis all those years ago, and Harry could only hope that the older lad thought the same thing.

*~*

“Lou I’ll put him to bed you just go relax,” Harry said quietly, carefully shifting a sleeping Holden in his arms.

“Right, right, relax, I can do that,” Louis said, quickly nodding to himself before kissing Holden and scurrying off towards his room down the hall.

Harry shook his head as he laughed to himself and slowly walked into Holden’s room.

Then entire car ride home the older lad wouldn’t shut up, he just went on and on about how amazing the musical was and how special all night has been, Harry was surprised he hasn’t tired himself out from talking so much. But if anything he was relieved to see Louis so happy and say that he had a great birthday, that’s all Harry really wanted.

Of course Holden fell asleep about an hour into the musical and Harry thought he was far too cute to move from his chest so for most of the night the toddler was snoring into his neck.

And even as Harry placed him in bed, got him out of his tux and put his pajamas on the toddler was still sound asleep. Well he was until Harry pulled his blankets over him and placed a gentle kiss to his temple.

“Papa.”

Harry felt himself freeze at what he heard Holden mumble tiredly, his breath coming up short and eyes lock on the 3 year old. “Yeah buddy?” he barely whispered.

“Papa night night,” Holden said quietly, his eyes falling shut again sleepily before plopping his thumb in his mouth and sucking on it gently.

Harry swallowed thickly, a soft smile coming to him as he tried to blink back tears. “Goodnight buddy,” he said kissing the toddler one more time. “Daddy and I will see you in the morning for Christmas.”

Harry could just barely see the small smile that came to Holden as he continued sucking on his thumb before the 3 year old completely fell back asleep. And Harry doesn’t know how he did it, but he managed to get up from the bed and make it into the hallway before rubbing his hands over his face, not believing what had just happened, what he just heard.

He glanced back at the door one more time before shuffling his feet forward, making his way to Louis’ room and carefully opening the door.

“Was he okay?” Louis asked, pulling a shirt over his head before he turned around and faced the younger lad. “H? Haz what’s wrong?” he asked, Harry looking between a mixture of being lost and like he was about to cry.

Harry opened his mouth but absolutely nothing came out as he shook his head and walked towards the bed, needing to take a seat.

“Harry you’re actually making me nervous, what’s wrong?” Louis asked worriedly. “Is Holden okay? Did something happen?”

Harry bit his lip as he shook his head and looked to the older lad next to him on the bed. And Louis must’ve seen that he was desperately trying hold back tears at the way he gasped.

“Louis he… H-he called me papa,” Harry said, still trying to grasp it. “I-I mean he actually said it for the first time and he knew it was me and everything…”

“Harry that’s amazing,” Louis said softly through a small grin, wrapping his arms around the younger lad and pulling him into his chest. “See I told you there was nothing to worry about.”

“Do you think he actually meant it though?” Harry asked quietly, just barely pulling away from Louis. “Like he’s all sleepy, do you think he’ll remember in the morning?” he asked with a touch of nervousness in his voice.

“Well we’ll have to see in the morning,” Louis said, cupping Harry’s cheek and gently running his thumb over the younger lad’s skin before getting up from the bed.

Harry nodded and let out a quiet breath, trying to calm down and not overthink this too much. He was beyond happy that Holden had finally called him something other than just “Harry”. But he was also nervous that he only said it because he was tired, that in the morning he would wake up and not remember saying it.

“H don’t stress about it alright? Get out of that suit, I’m gonna bring Santa’s gifts downstairs and then we’ll talk some more okay?”

All Harry could do was nod again before running his fingers through his hair and watching as Louis opened his closet, the thing nearly bursting with the amount of presents he had in there. But then again when they did go shopping it was a bit of a free for all.

“You have all your gifts down there?” Louis asked, trying to balance presents in his arms.

“Yeah they’re all by the tree,” Harry said, offering the older lad a small smile.

“Great,” Louis grinned back at him. “I’ll be right back.”

Harry watched as Louis walked out of the room before reaching for his bowtie and pulling it off. He made his way to his suitcase in the corner of the room, sifting through the clothes he packed for the weekend before pulling out a fresh shirt and taking the rest of his tux off.  He made sure to put it on the hanger and in it’s bag like Clara always tells him to, not needing to ruin a perfectly good £30,000 suit.

And by the time he was in his boxers, had a new shirt on and his teeth were brushed Louis was done taking the mountain of presents in his closet down to the Christmas tree.

“No pants?” Louis asked jokingly. “I see you’ve taken to my ways.”

Harry rolled his eyes, Louis knowing very well this is how he normally sleeps but just feels like harassing him because of that one time he wore joggers to bed. He grabbed his phone charger from his bag and kissed the older lad’s cheek gently as he walked past him, saying a quiet goodnight.

“Wait,” Louis said, stopping Harry and grabbing his hand. “Where are you going?” he asked with furrowed eyebrows.

“I was gonna sleep on the couch,” Harry said a bit confused as that’s what Louis always does when he sleeps at his flat.

Louis scratched the back of his neck as he bit his lip, glancing back towards his bed before looking back at the younger lad.

“Aw Louis,” Harry said teasingly as he smiled to himself. “Come on say it. Just ask, I know you want to,” he said with raised eyebrows and when the older lad just blushed to himself Harry had to poke fun at him a bit more. “I won’t get in the bed unless you ask,” he said, crossing his arms over his chest.

Louis was trying desperately to hold back his smile as he looked everywhere except for the younger lad. “You can uhm… Do you maybe want to uh…?” he asked, pointing to the bed. “I-I mean you can uhm, you can sleep in here… If you want.”

“Well technically that wasn’t asking but because it’s your birthday I’ll let it slide,” Harry said, winking at the older lad before patting his bum as he walked past him and to the bed. “Still sleep on the right side?”

Louis hummed as he grinned to himself, turning off the main light so it was just his bedside table lamp on before he climbed on top of the covers next to the younger lad. And just as he rolled over to face Harry he saw him already laying on his side, his hand holding his head up as he wiggled his eyebrows at him.

Louis let out a barking laugh, shoving Harry’s shoulder so he was laying down before hiding his face in his pillow and hearing the younger lad laughing next to him. “In your dreams,” he muttered, rolling onto his stomach and turning his head on the pillow to look at the green eyed lad.

“You’re right,” Harry said through a chuckle, wrapping an arm over Louis’ waist and pulling him into his side, earning a dramatic groan from the older lad. “Oh don’t complain you asked me to sleep in here, this is what you get. And besides we never did pick up where we left off on the couch.”

“You mean where you left off,” Louis teased, bringing up his hand to run his fingers through the younger lad’s short curls.

“Don’t pretend you didn’t love it,” Harry said through a small smirk, picking himself up so he was just slightly hovering over Louis before dipping his head and connecting his lips to his neck. “Trust me I know exactly-” he mumbled against him, pressing another kiss into his skin, “what drives you crazy.”

Louis opened his mouth, more than ready to tell Harry otherwise but absolutely nothing came out as he threw his head back against the pillow, feeling the younger lad’s lips trailing up his neck, sucking gently before placing a wet kiss there and moving on.

Louis wasn’t going to lie, he forgot how good it felt to be touched like this, to be touched at all by someone. But this wasn’t just someone, this was Harry. Harry who knew exactly what to do to him, how to drive him mad and make him beg for more. And even after all these years Louis still felt weak with the younger lad’s lips on him.

He felt Harry’s fingers digging into his waist and the way his teeth gently grazed over his skin before planting a hot kiss over his markings. And the more the younger lad kissed and nipped at him Louis couldn’t help the silent pleas that escaped him.

“Want me to stop?” Harry asked through a quiet breath, taking his lips off the older lad and looking down at him.

Louis didn’t even think before shaking his, reaching a hand up and pulling Harry down for a hard kiss. And it was almost immediate the younger lad was kissing him back, letting out a deep breath against him before gripping his waist impossibly tighter to keep him in place.

Louis’ hands were all over him, one buried in his curls while the other travelled up and down his back, feeling his warm skin through the thin material. And all he wanted to do was touch everything as their lips moved feverishly against one anothers.

He wanted to feel the dip in Harry’s back, feel the way the younger lad’s skin rose, the same way it used to when they kissed like this. And just as he reached a careful hand under Harry’s shirt, pressing a palm into his heated skin Louis felt the younger lad lay down completely on him, his bulge under the thin material of his boxers all too noticeable.

Louis gasped, feeling his heart begin to steadily pound in his chest and his palms get clammy at everything he was feeling before he felt Harry hesitantly tasting into his mouth, letting out a low moan in the back of his throat as Louis kissed him right back.

He almost forgot how good Harry was, how the younger lad made him feel with just the way he would kiss him.

And all of a sudden it was too much.

Louis knew how easily worked up he could get, how eager Harry got and with the way he was kissing the younger lad back with so much urgency, so much want, he knew that if he didn’t end this now then it would lead to a place he wasn’t ready for yet.

But Harry just tasted so good and the way he was running his hands through his hair, up and down his side, Louis never wanted it to stop. Never wanted the younger lad’s lips off his, never wanted Harry’s skin not to be touching his own.

Louis needed this to stop though. Already just at snogging Harry he could feel that heat rise in gut, feel the way his boxers got a little bit smaller. But he didn’t even need to stop the younger lad before he was releasing the kiss and resting his forehead on his chest, letting out a couple deep breaths.

“You might be sick of hearing this, but holy shit I missed you,” Harry said through a quiet laugh, resting his chin on Louis’ chest and smiling up at him softly.

Louis bit his lip, trying to fend off his own grin as he ran his fingers through Harry’s curls. “Well I wish I could say the same, but I kinda hated you after you left.”

“Understandable,” Harry mumbled, rolling off the older lad and adjusting himself slightly.

“But hey,” Louis said, reaching over for Harry and draping an arm over his waist. “With you here now I… Well I’m really happy,” he said quietly.

Harry turned his head on the pillow and smiled at the older lad before leaning forward and kissing him sweetly. “I’m happy too,” he said before pecking Louis’ lips one more and settling back against the bed. “Happier than I thought I ever would be after we broke up…”

Louis smiled right back at him, moving his hand from the younger lad’s waist and carding his fingers through his hair. He was sure Harry as much as him wanted to go back to that day all those years ago and change everything.

He wished he had just shouted it when Harry was leaving the room, or that he told the younger lad as soon as he found out.

But it was too late for that. At least they were here now, trying to fix everything between them and take their time with their relationship, whatever that was at this point.

At least he had Harry next to him as he turned off the bedside table lamp, got under the covers and felt the younger lad’s arms wrap around him, pulling him into his chest and kissing his hair before settling against the pillow.

And Louis just let himself get pulled in, let the soft smile that came to him grow as he laid on Harry’s chest and heard the steady beat of his heart.

For the first time in years he fell asleep in Harry’s arms, fell asleep with a smile on his face and the younger lad’s lips brushing against his skin as he whispered a barely audible “happy birthday”.

*~*

“Get up! Get up!! It Christmas!!!” Holden screamed, crashing into his daddy’s room and immediately climbing on his bed, making sure to jump up and down to wake the two up.

All Louis did was let out a quiet groan before hiding his face in Harry’s neck, it being far too early for this.

“Daddy,” Holden whined, dropping his entire body on his father. But when he saw that his father wasn’t moving an inch he let out a quiet breath. “Papa make daddy get up,” he groaned.

At that Harry opened his eyes and smiled at the 3 year old as Louis picked his head off his chest. “I’ll get him up buddy, you just go downstairs, we’ll be there in a few minutes,” he said, only to let out a yawn a second later.

Holden let out a loud squeal, jumping on the two again before climbing off the bed and running out of the room.

Louis watched as Holden ran out, only to smile to himself before resting his chin on Harry’s chest to look up at him. “Well then papa…” he said through a quiet chuckle, running his fingers through the younger lad’s curls. “Good morning and Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas,” Harry said, grinning down at Louis before cupping his cheek and kissing him gently. “Now you heard the boy, it’s time to get up,” he said as he laughed to himself, pat the older lad’s bum and got out from under him to swing his legs over the bed to get up and search for a pair of joggers.

Louis sat up in bed, leaning against the headboard as he rubbed his hands over his face. “Pass me my pants,” he said through a yawn.

As soon as Harry had his joggers on he walked over to Louis’ dresser, looking through all of them until he found a pair of pajama pants. He passed them to him before sleepily making his way across the hall to brush his teeth and when Louis had joined him in the bathroom and they both had fresh breaths they went downstairs, only to see Holden with Rob in his lap and talking excitedly to him.

“Alright buddy, you can start but remember only open the ones with your name on them,” Louis said, plopping himself on the couch.

Holden didn’t need to be told twice before getting Rob off his lap and lunging at the mountain of presents, squealing as he saw that half of them were from Santa.

Louis couldn’t help the small smile that came to him as Holden began shredding the wrapping paper off his presents before nearly yelling his thank you’s and picking up another one to open.

“I’ll get you tea Lou,” Harry said, giving the older lad’s shoulder a gentle squeeze before shuffling into the kitchen.

Louis swears when Harry came back only minutes later with a mug full of tea he’s never been so grateful for the hot drink.

Holden continued opening presents, some saying they were from santa, others saying they that were from both his daddies. But when the toddler came across gifts that weren’t for him he would run them over to his daddy and papa, passing it to whoever it belonged to.

Louis had opened the gifts Harry had gotten him, all of them being more than lovely and thoughtful, but when he opened the Doncaster Rover’s jersey and saw tickets to see them play in London in a few months he lunged at the younger lad, wrapping him in a strong hug.

He couldn’t recall the last time he caught a game, but the fact that Harry even remembered he liked them meant more than anything.

Harry had opened the gifts Louis and Holden got him, Louis remembering that the younger lad was a fan of the American football team the Packers and getting him a jersey. It seemed as though they were thinking about the same thing when it came to sports and jersey’s.

They had also gotten Harry a small pocket watch, Louis knowing that he always liked those kind of vintage things. But it was Holden’s idea to put a picture of the three of them in it and Louis thought that was more than a nice touch. And Harry seemed to think so too as he kissed the older lad sweetly before wrapping Holden in a strong hug.

Of course Louis still had another present for the younger lad, but this one he didn’t buy and Harry wasn’t going to get it until later. And when he told him that the green eyed lad did nothing but look at him confused before shrugging.

“I have another present for you too but I think I’m going to give that to you later. You know, when we’re with your family and everything,” Harry said offering the older lad a small smile.

Louis bit his lip as he nodded, only growing more and more nervous for the gift he was going to give Harry later. “Sure,” he said, grinning back at him.

“Daddy those all my presents?” Holden asked, looking around and seeing everything unwrapped.

“You actually have one more buddy,” Louis said through a quiet laugh, seeing the toddler’s eyes go wide. “It’s upstairs in the playroom, why don’t you go check it out?”

Holden didn’t waste a second before taking off for the stairs, leaving his laughing dads behind him as they followed after him.

He ran until he got up the stairs, as quickly as possible heading for the door across from his bedroom and pushing it open, immediately letting out a loud scream as he saw what it was.

“Trampoline!!!” he yelled before sprinting at it and jumping up and down.

“I think you have a winner with that one,” Harry said as he leaned against the doorframe and chuckled to himself.

“Yeah, I had a feeling that would be the favorite,” Louis said, watching as his son giggled to himself and hopped up and down on the little trampoline. “But now that presents are done I’m gonna start breakfast and we can get the day going.”

Harry nodded and smiled down at older lad before pecking his lips and following him down the stairs, heading into the living room to clean everything up.

And once all the wrappings from the presents were in a trash bag Harry began bringing up all of Holden’s toys to his playroom, the toddler playing with everything he brought up.

They had breakfast when Louis was done making it. Chocolate chip pancakes, sausage and eggs, and when they were done eating Holden didn’t waste a second before hopping out of his booster seat to go back upstairs to play with his toys.

After about an hour though he had to be stopped, needing to actually get dressed for the day, but when he was done with that he went right back into the playroom.

He played with Rob and showed him all of his new toys, and played with his daddies until it was time for lunch.

Louis had soup left over from a couple days ago so he put that on the stove and let Harry and Holden keep playing upstairs until it was ready.

He knew they would be leaving in the next hour or so and it was more than nerve wracking as he thought about what he was really doing. He didn’t know how Harry would react, if he would be furious or happy or what. But it was too late to back out now.

So when they all had stomachs full of soup, Louis and Holden packed a bag for the weekend and everything was in the car Louis hopped in the driver’s seat of Harry’s Range Rover .

Holden didn’t know where they were going, but he didn’t ask either because he was too busy napping in the back seat and Harry was happy, thinking that Louis was trying to reconnect with his family.

But once Louis pulled onto the highway he let out a deep breath, trying his hardest to stay calm and not make the younger lad suspicious with how he was acting.

“Louis did you get any gifts for your mum or sisters?” Harry suddenly asked, going wide eyed. “Oh my God, we can’t just show up at their house without anything on Christmas.”

“Uhm yeah, I uh, I have gift cards for them,” Louis said quietly, keeping his eyes on the road. It was true he had gift cards, but they weren’t for his family.

“Oh good,” Harry breathed out. “I would’ve felt awful and made you pull over to a shop so we could get them something,” he said through a quiet laugh.

Louis hummed as he nodded to himself, turning on the windshield wipers as it began snowing.

“You okay Lou?” Harry asked with furrowed eyebrows. “Are you nervous about seeing them or something? Because I’m sure they’re really excited to see you.”

“Yeah, yeah, m’fine,” Louis said, gripping the steering wheel just a bit tighter as he drove past the exit he should’ve taken to head in the direction of Doncaster, hoping Harry wouldn’t notice.

They had been driving for about two hours already and luckily Harry hasn’t been all that suspicious and thankfully Holden was still sleeping, tired from waking up so early this morning. But Louis knew it was only a matter of time before the younger lad looked around and saw where they were. And of course just as he was thinking that Harry spoke up.

“Where are we?” Harry asked, looking out the front window and taking note of the signs. “Why are we passing through Birmingham?” he asked confused.

“It’s uhm, i-it’s just another way to get to Donny,” Louis said quietly.

“Louis we should be going through Leicester or Nottingham, this is wrong,” Harry said looking around and growing more and more confused. But then he caught it, his eyes catching on a sign that had Cheshire written on it before the older lad took the exit to go there. “Louis… What are you doing?” he barely whispered.

Louis swallowed thickly as he looked over at Harry, the younger lad’s eyes already on him. He couldn’t find it in himself to say anything though, his words getting caught in his throat.

“Louis,” Harry said again, this time having a slight edge to his voice. But when the older lad continued to ignore him he knew exactly what Louis was doing. “Pull over.”

Louis glanced over at Harry quickly, opening his mouth to say something but the younger lad was already shaking his head.

“Louis pull over right now,” Harry said firmly.

“Harry listen, I know-”

“Louis pull over!!” Harry snapped, making the older lad jump in his seat and Holden wake up.

Louis bit his lip as he looked over at Harry and saw him nearly fuming, so he let out a quiet breath before pulling off to the side of the road, and as soon as the car stopped the younger lad stomped out. “Buddy stay here,” he said quickly to Holden hopping out of the car himself, seeing Harry pacing and running his fingers through his hair. “H…”

“You have no right,” Harry said, shaking his head. “I mean Louis what were you thinking?!”

“I was thinking that I could help you fully get your life back,” Louis said with raised eyebrows.

“By what? Forcing my relationship with my mum?!” Harry asked annoyed.

“Harry she wants to see you! She’s been trying to reach you ever since she left the hospital!!” Louis said, straining himself not to raise his voice, all he wanted to do was help. “Remember how I couldn’t reach you because they changed your cellphone number? Well she was trying to reach you too, and so was your sister, but instead you just left them behind.”

Harry let out a frustrated groan into his hands, trying to ignore the falling snow around them, ignore the way he felt like screaming at the top of his lungs.

“H I know you’re scared,” Louis said softly, taking a careful step towards the younger lad. “But please, please believe me when I say that your mum and sister desperately want to see you… They miss you so much, just please, I know you miss them too…”

Harry shook his head as he bit his lip, not even sure what it would be like to see his mum after all these years, after the way he treated her at the hospital.

“And your mum isn’t even mad or upset about what happened, she just wants to see you,” Louis said quietly seeing Harry calm down a little bit.

Harry swallowed thickly, just at the thought of seeing his mum or sister making his eyes pool with tears. “Promise?” he barely whispered.

“Yes, I promise,” Louis said, relaxing a bit.

Harry shifted his gaze to his shoes, running his fingers through his hair and letting out a deep breath. Without saying another word though he walked towards the car and got in the passenger seat, and just at the sight Louis released a breath of relief before hopping in the driver’s seat, turning the car on and reaching for the younger lad’s hand, lacing their fingers together.

Even if Harry was a little bit upset with him Louis knew he would get over it once he saw his family for the first time in years. And the younger lad didn’t say anything once they were back on the road, his gaze focused on the world outside his window, holding Louis’ hand like a lifeline as they continued their drive into Cheshire.

All I Want Playlist

 

 

 

 

 

[Let Me Love You](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_eTytNgcYOk) [Ne-Yo-Glee Version](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_eTytNgcYOk) 3:38

[Leave Your Lover](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M8pK3KBwC84) [Sam Smith](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M8pK3KBwC84) 3:26

[The Otherside](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l4Lt4zlCb-M) [Taylor Ward](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l4Lt4zlCb-M) 2:58

[Give Your Heart A Break](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XKiUcTvr-TQ) [Glee Version](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XKiUcTvr-TQ) 3:29

[Friends](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Myaod6GC4U) [Ed Sheeran](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Myaod6GC4U) 3:09

[Make You Feel My Love](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jNBmoj32pq4) [Adele](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jNBmoj32pq4) 3:15

[Tonight](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k-6WAexAPP4) [John Legend Ft. Ludacris](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k-6WAexAPP4) 3:57

[Sometime Around Midnight](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m53cWa-CdUg) [The Airborne Toxic Event](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m53cWa-CdUg) 5:03

[Kiss Me](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MXL8BEPl-Nw) [Ed Sheeran](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MXL8BEPl-Nw) 4:35

[Infinity](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QaY1ezWUhi0) [One Direction- Slow Mode](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QaY1ezWUhi0%20%0A%0A) 5:24

[I’m Gonna Find Another You](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2EZWzq6kXVc) [John Mayer](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2EZWzq6kXVc) 2:43

[Comfortable](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BroiKmNGbfI) [John Mayer](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BroiKmNGbfI) 5:02

[Where Do Broken Heart Go](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6QpPMbzVqic) [One Direction](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6QpPMbzVqic) 3:45

[No Good in Goodbye](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZRNTOabGsDk) [The Script](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZRNTOabGsDk) 3:58

[More Time](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cnGFGkP5Enw) [Needtobreath](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cnGFGkP5Enw) 4:22

Shattered O.A.R 3:57

I’m A Mess Ed Sheeran 4:08

[I Almost Do](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ij1xADeobsg) [Taylor Swift](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ij1xADeobsg) 3:59

[Just A Little Bit Of Your Heart](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F0-50nRyuy8) [Ariana Grande](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F0-%0A%0A50nRyuy8) 3:57

[Don’t Let Me Go](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bEBzek5Hi_s%20) [Harry Styles](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bEBzek5Hi_s) 3:50

[The One](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HJ6PfUZyPGY) Kodaline 4:01

[All I Want](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cqJoVlnmdFQ) [Kodaline](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cqJoVlnmdFQ%20%0A%0A) 4:57

[The One](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K75A16HRdBY) [Sam Smith](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K75A16HRdBY) 3:08

[Make It To Me](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nwxaK3IUlag) [Sam Smith](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nwxaK3IUlag) 3:09

[Lay Me Down](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hQNNm0acHE4) [Sam Smith](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hQNNm0acHE4) 4:01

[I Was Made for Loving You](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XkZaZWsGAg4%20%0A%0A) [Tory Kelly ft. Ed Sheeran](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XkZaZWsGAg4) 3:07

[Faithfully](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ALph_u2iee8) [Boyce Avenue Cover](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ALph_u2iee8) 4:49

[Code by Layouttesst](http://layouttesst.livejournal.com/profile)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts on the chapter ?? Leave comments, say hi on [tumblr](http://lhstylinson9193.tumblr.com/), thanks !! Next chapter is the rest of Christmas and New Year's !! Some fun stuff will be happening :)


	10. Chapter 10

“Papa?” Holden asked quietly as he bit his lip.

Harry let out a small breath as he pinched the bridge of his nose and turned around in his seat to face the toddler. “What buddy?”

“Papa you mad?” Holden asked with a touch of nervousness in his voice, unable to escape the heavy feeling in the car.

“No, I’m not mad,” Harry breathed out, probably not sounding all that convincing. And it was pretty clear that Holden didn’t believe him because of the way the toddler was frowning at him.

Holden bit his lip as he looked at his father and sat back against his seat. “You mad at daddy?” he asked, his gaze shifting to his lap.

At that Harry looked over to Louis, the older lad glancing right back at him, worry flashing across his face. “Of course I’m not mad at daddy,” he said softly.

Louis released a breath of relief, actually terrified that Harry was furious with him, but he knew the younger lad wasn’t when he brought up their tangled fingers and kissed his hand gently. He was also grateful that Holden seemed to believe Harry because he didn’t ask another question, instead focused out the window on the snow falling around the car.

“Does she know?” Harry asked so quietly he wasn’t sure Louis heard him. “Does she know about Holden?”

“Yeah, she knows about him,” Louis nodded, keeping his eyes on the road. “I uhm, when I told her I said I had a son… I thought you would want to tell her yourself, but I think she already knows he’s yours or has an idea or something.”

Harry bit his lip as he ran a hand over his face, having no clue how all of this was going to play out. After years he was going to see his mum and sister, and with seeing them bringing back what had happened at the hospital with his mum. But not only that, he also had Holden and that more than anything terrified him for how they would react.

And the further they got into Cheshire the more and more nervous Harry got.

His knee was bouncing up and down, his heart was pounding in his chest and his hands were clammy. Even when Louis would squeeze his hand or thigh, or would rub his leg his nerves wouldn’t calm in the slightest.

And when they pulled up to his childhood home Harry was sure he wasn’t even breathing as Louis parked the car.

“C’mere H, relax,” Louis said softly, taking off his seat belt and reaching for the younger lad.

Harry let out a shaky breath as he felt Louis pull him into his chest and kiss his head. “What if they’re mad at me? Louis I was so awful to them and-”

“Listen to me,” Louis said almost firmly as he pulled away slightly to look at the younger lad. “No one is mad or upset with you. Your mum and sister are so excited to see you, they don’t care about what’s happened in the past… All that matters now is you being here and taking this opportunity to make up with your family.”

Harry just looked at Louis, searching his face that he might be lying to him, that his mum was actually upset with him. But the older lad wouldn’t do that to him, he wouldn’t make him come see his family if he knew they were upset with him.

“Can we get out?” Holden groaned, hating just sitting in the car.

“Buddy give your pop some time,” Louis said softly, turning around in his seat to look at the 3 year old.

“Well where are we?” Holden asked, looking out the front window and seeing a house.

Harry bit his lip as he glanced back at Holden and let out a deep breath. “This is uhm, well this is my mum’s house. It’s where I grew up,” he said, his eyes locking on the house in front of him.

“Papa if you mummy inside you go!!” Holden said, suddenly very excited.

“H take your time,” Louis said quietly as he rubbed a hand over the younger lad’s thigh.

Harry wasn’t even sure if he would be able to get out of the car without being dragged out. But he had to try. He wanted to see his mum, his sister, to talk to them and hear about everything he’s missed, how their lives have changed. But he also wanted and needed to make things right.

So before he could stop himself he opened the car door and cautiously stepped out.

Louis watched as Harry slowly got out of the car, his hands nearly shaking as he gripped the door. He quickly hopped out himself, got Holden out of his seat and adjusted him on his hip before going over to the younger lad and rubbing his back.

“Everything’s gonna be fine H, it’s okay,” Louis said, earning a nod from Harry before the younger lad very slowly shuffled his feet forward.

Louis kept his eyes on Harry as the younger lad laced their fingers together and walked towards the house. He was clearly a nervous wreck, his breathing deep and shaky, his hands clammy and eyes focused on the ground. But once they got to the door Harry didn’t move a muscle.

Holden let out a quiet breath as he looked between his daddies, growing more and more impatient so he took matters into his own hands. He leaned out of his daddy’s arms, brought up his little fist and before anyone could stop him he knocked on the door.

“Holden!” Louis said quickly, taking his son’s hand off the door and placing him on the ground.

Harry’s eyes went wide as he looked over to the 3 year old but he couldn’t even react before the door swung open.

“Harry…”

Just at hearing her voice he felt tears well up, and when Harry slowly turned his head she was there, her own tears pooling in her eyes. “Mum,” he barely whispered.

She nodded at him, a hand covering her mouth as she tried to hold back her tears. And Harry looked right back at her, his mouth opening and closing, not sure what to say. But before he uttered anything he rushed towards his mum, wrapping his arms around her and immediately hiding his face in her neck before he completely broke down in tears.

“Mum I-I’m sorry, I-I’m s-so sorry,” he cried, feeling his entire body shake in his mum’s arms.

And she hugged him right back, pressing kisses into his hair and holding onto him like any second he could leave again. “I know you are love, it’s okay,” she whispered back to him.

If possible Harry started crying even harder at those words. He didn’t deserve to be forgiven, not by his mum or by Louis, but here they both were. And he stayed crying in his mum’s arms until his throat was sore and his nose was a running mess, but he had never been so grateful in his life to be where he was.

“Oh look at you,” Anne said, pulling away slightly wiping her own cheeks before wiping her son’s. “I missed you so much sweetheart,” she said, if possible feeling more tears come to her eyes.

“I-I missed you too,” Harry barely whispered, kissing her cheek before pulling her back into his chest. “Mum I really did, I-I’m sorry,”

Louis bit his lip as he watched the two and felt Holden behind him, wrapping his arms around his leg, not quite sure what was going on. But as Louis kept his eyes on them he felt it was nearly impossible not to feel his smile grow.

He knew right now they were emotional about finally seeing each other again, but he also couldn’t miss that through their tears they were smiling in each other’s arms.

“Oh and Louis, oh my goodness look at you,” Anne said through a watery chuckle, immediately reaching for the younger man and hugging him tightly.

Louis let out his own quiet laugh as he hugged her back, really missing Anne over the years as she was the mum he never really had.

“You have no idea how grateful I am, thank you,” Anne whispered to him, rubbing his back and giving Louis and gentle squeeze.

“Of course,” Louis said softly, kissing her cheek before he pulled away, feeling Holden reach for him and hide behind his legs.

“Daddy,” Holden said quietly, wrapping his arms around his legs again, not knowing who this person was or why she knew both his daddies.

Harry was still wiping his eyes, trying to get his lungs to work properly, and wanting his hands to stop shaking as he heard Holden. But then he glanced over at his mum, her eyes immediately looking to the toddler before looking back at him.

“H, c’mere buddy,” Harry said softly, pulling the 3 year old out from behind Louis’ legs and picking him up.

He could nearly hear his heart pounding in his chest at what he was about to tell his mum. But from the look on her face, from how her eyes welled with more tears when she looked between the two of them and saw how much they look like alike, she knew.

“Holden this is my mum, can you say hi?” he asked, feeling the toddler wrap his arms around his neck and rest his head on his shoulder.

“Hi,” Holden said shyly as he bit his lip.

Harry smiled down at Holden and just as he was about to tell his mum he felt a little hand tap his shoulder. “Papa,” he heard Holden say, his mum gasping quietly as she heard the 3 year old. “Papa if that you mummy then she my nana,” the toddler said, the kids in his daycare talking about nanas and grandmas all the time.

If possible Harry’s smile only widened and when he looked over to Louis he had the same grin as him. “Yeah, that’s right buddy,” he said softly.

Holden nodded to himself before looking back at the woman in front of him and offering her a small smile. “Hi nana,” he said, waving at her from his papa’s arms.

Louis looked between the three of them, carefully reaching for Holden from Harry’s arms and taking him, seeing as Anne was a second away from breaking into sobs. And as soon as he had Holden the older woman didn’t waste a second before wrapping her arms around Harry again and kissing his cheek.

“In case you haven’t figured it out he’s mine and Louis’ son,” Harry said, biting his lip to keep in a small laugh.

Anne rolled her eyes as she pulled away from her son and wiped her wet cheeks. “One thing I definitely missed were those jokes of yours,” she said through a quiet chuckle.

“We all know that’s a lie,” Louis muttered, earning a jab from the younger lad.

“Oh, my goodness I realized we’re in the cold,” Anne said suddenly, feeling the December chill knocking into them. “Please boys, c’mon in.”

Harry was sure he was about to run into his childhood home, not believing he was actually here, that his mum was in front of him. But then he remembered something once they were inside the house, their shoes and coats off. “Mum is Gem here?” he asked quietly.

“She will be for dinner love, her and her boyfriend are at his parent’s house in Manchester right now,” Anne said, hanging up the three boys’ coats.

“Boyfriend?” Harry asked with furrowed eyebrows. “Who is she dating? Since when?”

“His name is Charlie, I think it’s been about 2 and a half years,” Anne said through a small laugh, her son sounding like his old protective self when Gemma and boys came up.

Harry bit his lip as he nodded to himself, wondering just how much he missed over the years. “Well I can’t wait to see her,” he said quietly.

“And she’s excited to see you too sweetheart,” Anne said, offering Harry a warm smile as she led the three boys towards the living room, but just before they stepped into the room she stopped them. “Now H I uhm, I have to tell you something.”

Harry stilled for a second as he looked from his mum to Louis, looking to see if he knew what she was going to say. But the older lad looked just as lost as he shifted Holden on his hip. He glanced back at her, swallowing nervously but nodded anyway.

“Well I uhm, it wasn’t soon after what happened at the hospital I met someone,” Anne began softly. “His name is Robin and he’s here and he’s really excited to finally meet you.”

Harry opened and closed his mouth, his mind slowly processing what his mum had said as he felt Louis’ hand on his back, rubbing small circles into his skin. His parents did have a pretty nasty divorce many years back and he hasn’t heard from his father, but he never gave much thought to his mum meeting someone new.

“As long as he makes you happy and treats you right I’m happy,” Harry breathed out through a small grin. “Is he uhm, is he in there?” he asked pointing to the living room.

Anne nodded as she let out a relieved breath and just as she did that she saw her son bite his lip before slowly making his way into the room. She saw Louis was about to follow after him, but before the younger lad could go anywhere she stopped him.

“Louis can I talk to you for a second?”

“Of course,” Louis said, offering her a soft smile before setting Holden down. “Buddy go to papa okay? I’ll be there in a few minutes,” he said, earning a nod from the toddler before he scurried over to his papa and saw him talking to some man on the couch.

He stood back up, looking back at Anne and before he could do anything else he felt her arms wrap tightly around him. Louis couldn’t help the small laugh that escaped him as he hugged her back, immediately feeling Anne smile against him.

“I don’t think thank you is enough, you have no idea how much this means to me,” Anne said, wiping her stinging eyes as she gently pulled away to look at Louis. “And you, just after all these years, you’ve been so strong… Being a father and willing to even let Harry see Holden and be a part of your lives…” she trailed off, shaking her head at the thought of everything Louis has done. “You’re an incredible man Louis.”

Louis felt himself still for a moment, swallowing thickly and shaky breaths escaping him as he looked at the woman in front of him. He gently wrapped his arms around Anne again, letting out a deep breath as he rested his head on her shoulder. “Thank you,” he barely whispered.

“Of course love,” Anne said, kissing his cheek and rubbing his back.

Louis had to almost hold everything he had in him to not tear up, enough tears already shed today. So he just squeezed Anne one more time before letting her go, smiling softly at the older woman and following her into the living room.

He saw Robin and Harry talking, Anne clearly pleased that they seemed to get along, and then there was Holden in Harry’s lap, looking beyond bored but didn’t want to say anything and be rude. So he took a seat next to Harry as Anne sat with Robin on the other couch, Holden immediately climbing into his lap. The toddler didn’t even need to ask before Louis knew he wanted his phone to play games, so he passed his phone to Holden, the 3 year old immediately taking it, leaning back against his chest and pulling up his favorite coloring app.

Louis let out a quiet laugh as he wrapped his arms around his son, figuring this is what he’ll be doing as Harry catches up with his mum and gets to know Robin. He knew it would be a little boring for Holden but thankfully they did bring a couple of his new toys and Louis was sure that Dusty was around here somewhere and that the toddler would love to play with him.

It wasn’t until about an hour after they got there that Holden perked up, hearing his name in the conversation.

“I actually uhm… I don’t know,” Harry said quietly, feeling his heart drop into his stomach at his mum’s question. “Lou,” he said, getting the older lad’s attention as he had been watching Holden play his game.

Louis hummed, picking his head up and looking to Harry with raised eyebrows, but when he saw the look on the younger lad’s face he seemed upset. “What’s wrong?”

“We were uhm, we were just talking about Holden and mum was wondering what his middle name was,” Harry said, looking down at his hands in his lap, hating that he didn’t know this, hating that this was his son and he didn’t even know his middle name.

“Oh…” Louis, nibbling at his bottom lip. “Well it’s… It’s uhm-”

“Holden Edward Tomlinson!” Holden said happily through a wide smile.

Louis froze before his eyes wandered over to Harry, the younger lad slowly picking his head up to look at him. “Uh, yeah,” he said sheepishly, scratching the back of his neck. “I uhm… Even if you weren’t there I wanted you guys to be connected somehow. I dunno, I just-”

“Papa,” Holden groaned as he saw his father kiss his daddy, stuck in between them.

Harry couldn’t stop the growing smile that came to him as he gently pressed his lips to Louis’, the older lad immediately kissing him back, his own grin forming against him. It was toe curling and his stomach was doing flips even for it being such a quick and soft kiss. But maybe it wasn’t just the kiss, but the fact that Harry wanted to scream “I love you!!” at what Louis had done for him, even after he left. He couldn’t though, way too early for anything like that and it would only make the older lad over think and sike himself out.

“Papa go,” Holden whined, pushing on his father’s chest as he kept kissing his daddy and making him laugh.

“What’s wrong?” Harry said, finally pulling away from a deep blushing Louis and pouted at the 3 year old. “Do you want kisses too?”

Holden bit his lip, trying to hold in a giggle and forgetting what he was actually upset about. “One kiss okay.”

“Okay,” Harry said through a quiet laugh before kissing the toddler quickly and sitting back against the couch, wrapping his arm around Louis’ waist and pulling the two into his side.

Louis tried to hide his face, resting his forehead against Harry’s shoulder as his face was heating up at the way Anne was looking at them. And he stayed in that position as Harry and his mum kept talking, Robin of course adding in, telling them about the past couple years and what they’ve been up to. That all came to halt about an hour later though when Holden shrieked out a very loud “kitty!!!” before lunging off the couch and running towards the cat near the stairs.

“Holden! Buddy, buddy, no!!” Harry said quickly, rushing off the couch and scooping the toddler up before he could suffocate Dusty and make the cat accidentally scratch him. “H you have to be gentle with Dusty, he’s not like Rob, okay?” he asked carefully. “He’s a bit older and he doesn’t like to be hugged like Rob does.”

Holden almost looked close to crying at hearing that he couldn’t hug the cat. “But I pet and he play?” he asked quietly.

“Of course big guy, but gently,” Harry said, giving Holden’s head a quick kiss before placing him back down and watching as he carefully walked towards the cat, leaned down towards him and ran a soft hand over his fur.

Louis rolled his eyes fondly as he watched his son and Harry took a seat next to him on the couch, the younger lad immediately pulling him into his side and burying his nose in the side of his hair. “You doing okay?” he asked softly.

“I’m doing great,” Harry said mumbled against his temple through a small smile. “Thank you… For everything,” he whispered so quietly he wasn’t sure the older lad heard him.

Louis tried desperately to hold back his smile as he looked up to the younger lad, but when he saw how softly he was looking right back at him it spread across his face. “Merry Christmas,” he said through a small laugh.

Harry bit his lip, his dimples popping out as he leaned forward and gently pressed his lips to Louis', letting out a deep breath against him. “Merry Christmas.”

*~*

Louis kept his eyes locked on his phone as he typed out a reply to Zayn, trying his hardest not to drop it on his face since he was laying down completely on the couch.

After Holden had played with Dusty for a few minutes he grew bored, the older cat not being nearly as fun as Rob is, so Robin offered to show the toddler his model trains downstairs. Louis doesn’t even think his son was down there for a full minute before he heard him nearly yelling how excited he was at the massive set up Robin had and that the older man was letting him play with everything.

So the 3 year old was down there with Robin for hours as Harry, Louis and Anne talked. Of course Louis did check on him a few times, and when he went downstairs it was impossible not to smile at the sight of Holden with a conductor’s hat on, clearly too big for him and a remote that made the trains move around the massive replicated London City. It was beyond adorable and Louis had to say he was very impressed with what Robin had set up. Not only that but the older man seemed to be having as much, if not more fun than Holden was. So with a quick kiss to his son and a grateful smile sent towards Robin he went back upstairs, Anne and Harry still talking away. And it reminded Louis so much of years ago, when the two couldn’t stop talking for more than five minutes, and at the sight Louis couldn’t help but feel his smile widen before tucking himself back into Harry’s side.

But now here he was hours later, Holden still playing with trains downstairs, and Harry and Anne working on Christmas dinner as Louis caught up with Liam and Zayn, wishing them both a happy holiday. And just when he pushed send he felt a body drop onto his, succesfully making his phone slip out of his hand and hit him right in the nose.

“Oops,” Harry said through a quiet laugh, taking Louis’ phone off his face and adjusting himself on top of the older lad. “Sorry love,” he said, kissing him quickly where his phone hit his nose.

“Sure you are,” Louis groaned dramatically, unable to stop the smile from spreading across his face as he wrapped his arms around the younger lad, squeezing gently at his waist. “Does your mum not need anymore help? Why are you bothering me during my quiet time?”

Harry rolled his eyes as he tucked his head into Louis’ neck, feeling the older lad’s arms wrap around him just a bit tighter. “You’re fine,” he mumbled against his skin. “Mum told me to relax and I wanted to spend some time with you.”

Louis let out a deep breath like it was a huge inconvenience, but that was just before he felt Harry’s teeth sink into his neck gently. “Haz,” he groaned through a quiet laugh. “Stop that, I was so comfortable before you came along and decided to be a menace.”

Harry picked his head up to look down at the older lad and pouted at him, only to feel Louis’ fingers threading through his hair and massaging his scalp a second later. And he couldn’t help himself as he hummed, his eyes immediately falling shut as he laid his head on Louis’ chest.

“Still got a few tricks up my sleeve,” Louis said through a small chuckle.

All Harry did was hum again as he nodded to himself and melted under Louis’ touch. “You keep this up and I’ll fall asleep right on you.”

“And then we’ll have a real problem,” Louis groaned, his fingers still gently running through the younger lad’s curls. “You okay though? Have you had a good day?” he asked softly.

Harry picked his head up, looking at Louis like that was the most ridiculous question ever. “Louis you gave me my family back… Do you understand that?” he asked quietly. “Of course today has been good, it’s been amazing… I wish I could say how grateful I am but I know thank you isn’t enough.”

Louis bit his lip, trying to fend off his smile as he heard how gently Harry was talking to him, how softly he was looking at him. “Thank you is just fine,” he said just as quietly, gently running his hand down the younger lad’s back. “And you’re welcome.”

Harry tried not to roll his eyes as he heard Louis laughing. Instead he grinned back down at the older lad, and carefully hovered over him before dipping his head and connecting their lips.

Harry doesn’t think he’ll ever get used to feeling Louis’ lips back on his, to feel the older lad actually kissing him and running his fingers through his hair or down his back. He didn’t think he’d ever get something like this again after they broke up. The feeling of warmth and comfort that spread through his entire body as their lips moved together, as Louis’ hand traveled under his shirt and his palm pressed into heated his skin. And at the touch Harry laid completely down on the older lad, their noses bumping, breaths mixing and nails sinking into each other’s skin to stay in place.

He wished they could stay like this forever. That he could kiss Louis until their lips were bruised and his back was covered in light scratch marks from the older lad’s fingers. But this moment of peace could only last so long before someone quite loudly cleared their throat.

Harry stilled where he was, Louis freezing under him and his hand slowly coming out from under the younger lad’s shirt as they carefully looked to see who was in the room. But as soon as Harry set his eyes on his sister he quickly scrambled off of Louis and lunged at her.

Even as Louis watched Harry attack his sister, Gemma letting out a wet laugh as she felt tears come to her eyes and immediately hugged him back, he was laying on the couch, trying to catch his breath after the younger lad had basically elbowed him when trying to get up.

“You idiot, you stupid fucking idiot,” Gemma mumbled against her baby brother’s shoulder, squeezing him so tight around his neck she wasn’t sure he was even breathing.

“Missed you too Gems,” Harry said through a strained laugh, his own eyes pooling with tears. “I’m so sorry… For everything,” he barely whispered, pulling his sister impossibly closer.

“I know you are H, it’s okay,” Gemma said softly, pulling away and wiping her wet eyes. “If you ever pull that shit again though I’m tracking you down and killing you in your sleep,” she said through a small laugh.

“And I’ll help,” Louis said, pushing himself off the couch and walking towards the two.

“Holy shit Lou!!” Gemma said, getting a good look at the younger lad. “Beards, button downs, what’s going on?” she asked jokingly, rushing over to him and wrapping him in a hug.

Louis couldn’t help but laugh to himself as he hugged her back, her sense of humor always has been a bit more forward than Harry’s. “4 years gave me some time to grow up, what can I say?”

“I know but it’s so weird,” Gemma said, pulling away slightly to look over Louis again. “I mean I remember you with dirty band tees and your hair all soft. Now you got a quiff and your face is all hairy and just… Damn, I’m not gonna lie you look good.”

“Yeah, it’s the sexy teacher look,” Harry said through a chuckle, wrapping an arm around the older lad’s waist.

Louis bit his lip as he felt his face heating up, Gemma humming her agreement. But then his eyes shifted to the guy behind her, him just watching them with a small smile.

“Oh sorry!” Gemma said, remembering her boyfriend was in the room with them. “This is my boyfriend Charlie,” she said sheepishly, introducing them.

“Hey, it’s great to finally meet you,” Charlie said, shaking Harry’s hand.

“Good to meet you too, I’m Harry,” he said, offering him a small smile. “And this is my… Uhm…” Harry said, looking over to Louis and seeing the older lad raise his eyebrows at him. “This is Louis.”

Louis rolled his eyes as he heard Harry before looking to Charlie. “Hey mate, nice to meet you.”

“And you,” Charlie said, grinning back at him. “Gem hasn’t shut up about you two since she found out you guys were coming for Christmas.”

“M’sure she was saying nothing but terrible things,” Louis said, eyeing her jokingly and earning a shrug from the older woman.

“Daddy! Papa!!” Holden said, running into the living room, the conductor's hat bouncing all over the place on his head. “Grandpa say I the best at trains!!”

Harry smiled down at Holden, scooping him up as he ran towards him. He looked beyond adorable in the huge hat and he was happy that him and Robin were getting close. But when he turned to introduce Gemma to the toddler she was already looking right back at him wide eyed.

“You… You have a son?” she barely whispered.

Harry furrowed his eyebrows, thinking that their mum would’ve at least mentioned that Louis had Holden, and then he would tell them the toddler was his too. “Uhm, yeah,” he said quietly, looking down at the 3 year old, Holden looking at the woman in front of him shyly. “Gem this is Holden, he’s mine and Louis’ son.”

Holden bit his lip as he waved at her and rested his head on his papa’s shoulder, not knowing who this was, but if she knew his papa then she must be nice.

“Hi, it’s so nice to meet you, I’m Harry’s sister Gemma,” she said softly, offering the toddler a small smile. “H can I talk to you?”

Harry nodded slowly, his sister almost looking mad as he passed Holden to Louis and the older lad and Charlie headed towards the couch. He followed after Gemma, past their mum in the kitchen and to the foyer before his sister abruptly turned to him.

“Did you know about him when you left?” Gemma asked, trying her hardest not to scream. “Tell me you didn’t just leave Louis with a baby and knew about him for years but didn’t-”

“No! No, no, Gem I swear!” Harry rushed out. “Please, believe me, I just found out about Holden a couple months ago.”

Gemma let out a deep breath as she nodded to herself, more than relieved to hear that. “We definitely have a lot to catch up on.”

“And I’ll explain everything, or at least try to explain, it’s a bit complicated,” Harry said as he scratched the back of his neck and bit his lip.

“Well I can’t wait to hear everything you’ve been up to, you superstar,” Gemma teased slightly. “Charlie was fangirling the entire way here, don’t tell him I told you but he probably loves you more than me.”

Harry let out a quiet laugh as he shifted his weight on his feet. “Well my time as a star hasn’t been all that interesting…” he said quietly, not really wanting to reminisce on all the drinking he got up to over the years. “But I’ll happily tell you about Lou and Holden and everything we’ve done the past couple months. And I’d love to hear all about Charlie and where you’re living, your job, just everything.”

“Of course H,” Gemma said through a soft smile. “But first I want to get my hands on that little boy, he’s so cute!!” she nearly squealed, already making her way back towards the living room.

“Takes after Lou,” Harry said through a small laugh as he followed after her.

“Yeah, but he has those famous green eyes,” Gemma said, sending a wink to her baby brother over her shoulder.

Harry shrugged sheepishly as they got the living room, Charlie and Louis chatting on the couch as Robin was talking to Holden excitedly about some new train Anne got him for Christmas, the toddler listening intently and smiling widely to himself as he looked at the new toy.

“Maybe we should’ve gotten him a train set,” Harry said, a soft smile coming over him as he walked towards the couch and kissed Louis’ cheek gently before taking a seat and wrapping an arm around him.

“He’s already asked me three times,” Louis said through a quiet laugh, tucking himself into the younger lad’s side.

Harry rolled his eyes fondly as he watched the two on the floor, but then of course Gemma just had to join them, wanting to talk to Holden and get to know him. The toddler was still a bit more interested in what Robin was saying than talking to her though. But once the older man passed him the train to see Holden was quick to show Gemma and tell her everything he’s learned. He may have said half the things wrong and confused himself more than once, but the look on Gemma’s face was priceless with the way she was grinning at him and nodding at everything he said as if it made sense.

And Louis couldn’t help the fond smile that spread across his face as he saw Holden. He always wanted a real family for his son, for him to be surrounded by people who support and love him. They always had Liam and Zayn, but that was it. Now Holden had an actual family, one he knows for a fact that would be there for him and love him no matter what.

They stayed in the living room talking, Anne joining them once everything for dinner was cooking. And at the sight of her full living room with both her kids, it almost made tears come to her eyes. But instead of breaking into tears she took a seat on the couch and joined in on whatever it was they were all talking about. It was loud and fun, laughter filling the room, and it was something that Anne hasn’t heard in years.

Holden easily stole everyone’s hearts, his little comments on everything and the way he would climb from person to person, telling them all about his daddy’s birthday, Rob, his Spiderman room at his papa’s house and anything else he could think of. The toddler wasn’t shy whether he was with Anne, Gemma or even Charlie, but his clear favorite was Robin because of all of his trains he got to play with.

And to say Louis was proud as he watched his son would be a huge understatement. He knew Holden could be a little shy and quiet at first but as soon as you talk to him it’s nearly impossible to get the toddler to shut up. But it’s not like everyone wasn’t hanging on to every word he had to say

By the time dinner came around both Harry and Louis were shocked Holden didn’t tire himself out from talking so much and from running all over the house to find Dusty.

While he was trying to find the cat Gemma and Charlie took it upon themselves to start a game of hide and seek, and every time Louis heard Holden’s squeals, followed by the little patter of feet and then more often than not Charlie nearly stomping after him as he tried to catch the 3 year old, it was impossible to hide his smile. And every time Harry heard it too he could feel the younger lad smiling against his temple just before Holden and Charlie or Gemma came barreling into the living room to get the toddler.

But now they were sitting down for dinner, Holden nearly chugging his milk and breathing heavily to himself, trying to relax after running around. Louis was almost nervous as Anne was telling a story about Harry when he was younger that the milk would shoot out Holden’s nose from how much he was laughing at how silly his papa was when he was little.

Of course Harry was hiding his face in embarrassment, but even he was laughing as he listened to his mum. He would never admit it, but he did miss the stories his mum used to tell, even if they were beyond humiliating. He missed this, these simple things. Sitting down at dinner and talking and laughing with his family. But now he could share it with Louis and Holden, and Harry didn’t think it could get any better than this.

“Louis do you have a favorite memory of Holden?” Anne asked through a small smile, glancing over at the toddler.

Louis looked up from his half full plate before swallowing his food and grinning down at Holden next to him. “Uhm yeah actually,” he said as laughed quietly to himself, just thinking about it. “When he was about 18 months old my mate Liam and I took him to the park, and at the time he was still a bit wobbly on his feet, had a pacifier and everything, cutest little thing, I swear,” Louis said, almost finding it hard to believe that Holden was once so little. “But we were outside for a while and for some reason I don’t know he looked to the ground, saw his shadow, tried to run away from it and just started bawling because it was following him,” he said through a chuckle. “Liam and I thought something was wrong so we both started freaking out and all H did was point to his shadow, scream, try to run away from it and cry some more but of course as he tried to run he fell and let out a deafening cry because he thought his shadow fell on top of him and was attacking him or something.”

He could hear some laughter around the room and Holden’s cheeks were tinted pink but even he was giggling to himself.

“But the uhm, the reason it’s my favorite is cause it reminds me of Harry,” Louis said quietly, smiling softly at the younger lad on his other side before he felt Harry’s hand squeeze his thigh. “The first show he ever did in a stadium he was so nervous and nearly shaking, and when we were back stage he turned around, saw his shadow and jumped because he was so tense,” he said through a small laugh. “I dunno, when I think about it now it’s cute to notice all the little similarities and things like that before they even met,” he said sheepishly.

Louis couldn’t say anything more as he saw everyone at the table smiling at him, and just as he felt his face really begin to heat up Harry kissed his cheek.

“C’mere,” Harry mumbled against him through a small smile before pressing soft kisses onto Louis’ cheek until the older lad let out an embarrassed laugh and turned his head, finally letting him connect their lips.

“Stop,” Holden groaned as he rolled his eyes, making the table laugh.

“C’mon Holden, you and I can leave the lovebirds and go back downstairs and play,” Robin said happily, already standing up from his seat to get the toddler.

If possible Louis felt his cheeks heat up even more as he heard the older man and felt Harry hiking his hand up his thigh.

“Hang on sweetheart, you two stay up here,” Anne said, stopping Robin. “We’re going to clear off the table and then presents.”

“Grandpa we stay for presents!” Holden said, jumping in the older man’s arms.

“Mum you didn’t have to get us anything,” Harry said, already helping her clear off the table.

Anne raised her eyebrows at that before shaking her head. “Don’t even start with me Harry, you’ll know what I’ll say.”

Harry let out a quiet breath but nodded anyway, knowing his mum would just say that he’s missed the past four Christmases, so yes, presents were in order.

Louis also felt a bit bad though. He didn’t necessarily get them anything besides gift cards, and just for Gemma and Anne, he didn’t know about Charlie and Robin. And even the amount on those gifts cards weren’t all that much because he wasn’t necessarily rolling in money. He knew that the two of them would be more than grateful, but maybe while he and Harry were in New York they could pick up something a bit nicer for all of them.

After trying to help clear off the table both Harry and Anne shooed him away, as well as Charlie to the living room where Holden and Robin already were. The toddler mumbling to himself as he pushed a toy train all over the carpet, Dusty following after him curiously and Robin watching him with a fond smile from the couch.

“Hey Robin, can I talk to you for a second?” Louis asked, taking a seat next to the older lad.

“Of course,” Robin said happily, turning his attention to Louis.

“So I just wanted to say how grateful I am for you spending so much time with H and everything today,” Louis said through a small smile. “And I also wanted to ask and make sure that you’re okay with the whole grandpa thing,” he said, biting his lip. “I know it came out of nowhere and it just kinda got sprung on you but-”

“Louis, Louis relax,” Robin said as he laughed to himself. “Of course I don’t mind. I don’t have my own kids, but now it’s like I have Gem, Charlie, you and Harry and then a grandkid. I hit the jackpot today.”

Louis couldn’t stop the small laugh that came out of him, more or less relieved that Robin didn’t have a problem with being called grandpa. And then of course he had to ask Charlie the same thing, if Holden calling him uncle Charlie was okay. But if anything the older lad if possible was more excited than Robin was about the new name.

“Papa!” Holden shrieked, feeling his father’s arms wrap around him, making him jump. “Papa lay down, you mountain,” he said, pulling him down and waiting until his papa was laying on the floor before making train noises and running it over Harry’s chest.

Louis rolled his eyes fondly as he watched the two on the floor, Holden climbing on top of Harry just to sit on him and run his train over him. But of course Harry didn’t complain, instead just smiled at the toddler and entertained him by making his own train noises.

Even as they did presents Holden stayed on Harry in the middle of the living room, Anne sending the two of them a fond smile the entire time.

Louis had given Gemma and Anne the gift cards he had gotten them and in return from the two of them he got a new sweater and a pair of suspenders. He hasn’t worn suspenders since he and Harry were dating all those years ago, but at the sight of the new ones in his hands he was itching a bit to put them on. They would go good with his button downs after all.

Of course he thanked them profusely for his and Holden’s gifts, telling them a million times they didn’t have to get them anything. All he got in return though was an eye roll from everyone in the room.

After presents were done though Holden finally got off of Harry as Gemma tried to pick out a Christmas movie to watch. But that was just before the toddler remembered something very important.

“Papa you need give present to daddy!!” he said, quickly tapping his father’s shoulder.

“You know what, I was just thinking that buddy,” Harry said, smiling at the 3 year old. “Want to get it from my coat pocket?”

Holden nodded and ran out of the room as Louis shifted his gaze to Harry and furrowed his eyebrows at him. He had almost completely forgotten that the younger lad had another gift for him, but sure enough the toddler ran back into the room with a nicely wrapped, small rectangular box.

Harry kissed Holden’s head quickly and said a quiet thank you to him before getting up and walking over to Louis, getting down on one knee in front of him and offering him a soft smile. “Hi love.”

“Uhm, hi,” Louis said confused, his cheeks immediately heating up and his heart racing at the position Harry was in. He knew he wasn’t going to propose, obviously, but this was still more than nerve wracking.

“M’not so sure if this is a gift, but open it and after you do that I have to ask you something,” Harry said with a touch of nervousness in his voice as he passed the older lad the small box.

Louis looked around the room, every single pair of eyes on them and looking just as lost as he did as he took the small box from Harry.

He looked at the wrapped gift in his hands for a moment, trying to figure out what it was, but the longer he looked at it the more confused he got. So Louis slowly took the wrappings off, only to see a white box underneath it all.

His eyes flickered up to Harry’s, the younger lad offering him a soft smile as he nodded at him and placed a gentle hand on his thigh. So Louis very carefully opened the box, his heart beating faster and faster until his eyes fell upon what was in the box… A pen.

“A pen?” Gemma said through a snort, a loud laugh escaping her.

Harry glared over at his sister, gritting out a quiet “shut up” before turning back to Louis who was looking at him like he was a second away from crying. And just at that a sheepish smile came to him, the older lad knowing, him remembering that day all those years ago.

“A pen,” Harry breathed out through a nervous chuckle. “I met you over a pen... That’s where it all started… And now here we are years later and I want to start again,” he said softly, seeing Louis bite his lip, trying to hold back tears at the memory. “Louis William Tomlinson, will you go on a date with me?” Harry asked through a hopeful grin.

Louis ducked his head as he sniffled to himself before wiping a stray tear away and leaning towards the younger lad. “Harry Styles are you asking me out?” he whispered in his ear teasingly, Harry doing the same thing to him all those years ago.

Harry rolled his eyes playfully as Louis pulled away from him and he cupped the older lad’s cheek, gently wiping a tear away with his thumb. “Yes, I’m asking you out. Now is it a yes or a yes to answer my question?” he asked through a quiet laugh.

“Yes you idiot, of course yes,” Louis said as he laughed to himself and wrapped his arms around the younger lad’s neck.

Harry muffled a laugh into Louis’ neck before quickly kissing him there and wrapping his arms around him impossibly tighter.

“I’m so confused,” Charlie said as he shook his head, only to see his girlfriend laughing at him.

“Babe it’s how they met, I’ll tell you about it later,” Gemma said, rolling her eyes fondly before looking back at the two. She had to hand it to her baby brother, this was pretty cute.

And when the two pulled away there probably wasn’t a person within a mile distance who couldn’t see their bright smiles before leaning in for a kiss.

“God, you two are more gross than I remember.”

“Gemma,” Anne scolded. “Stop that, it’s cute.”

Louis released the younger lad, ducking his head and trying to hide his deep blush as he felt it rise on his cheeks. But even when he did that he felt Harry peppering kisses all over his forehead and in his hair.

That didn’t last long however as Holden started to whine for a movie and that he’s seen enough of his daddies kissing before squishing himself between Robin and Anne on the couch.

So Gemma put in the movie, earning a breath of relief from the 3 year old and laughs from his daddies.

The two got comfortable on the couch, Harry basically sitting on top of Louis. The older lad didn’t complain though as he wrapped his arms around him and buried his nose in the back of Harry’s curls and kissed his neck quickly.

It only took Holden a half hour into the movie to fall asleep, no doubt in Louis’ mind that he was beyond exhausted from running around and playing all day. What made him look even more adorable while he slept though had to be that he was in Anne’s arms, the older woman unable to wipe the smile off her face as she looked down at her snoring grandson.

And when the movie was over and everyone was clearly ready for bed the tv was turned off and they all shuffled upstairs.

Anne carried Holden up to Harry’s old bedroom, the two boys following after her sleepily. “I wasn’t sure what your boys’ sleeping arrangements were but I set up an air mattress and then there’s H’s bed,” she said quietly as they walked into the room.

“Oh, we sleep together,” Harry said through a small smirk as he wrapped his arms around Louis’ waist, earning a slap to the arm for that one.

“What he means is that we’ve shared a bed once,” Louis said as he rolled his eyes. “But Holden can sleep on the air mattress, thank you Anne,” he said, getting a small laugh out of the older woman.

Once Anne was out of the room Louis was quick to change Holden into his pajamas, tuck him under the covers and kiss him gently. He really hoped that this has been a good Christmas for him, and thinking back to how much he was smiling and laughing all day Louis had a feeling it was one of the best yet.

And when he got into bed next to Harry the feeling didn’t escape him, that this is the best Christmas he’s had in years.

“Finally,” Harry breathed out, wrapping an arm around Louis’ waist and pressing gentle kisses into his neck.

“What’re you doing?” Louis whispered through a chuckle. “Your sister is right next door, your mum and Robin are across the hall and Holden is right there.”

Harry picked his head off the pillow and smiled down at the older lad. “What? I can’t just kiss you? Were you thinking we were gonna get something going? Is that what you want?” he asked teasingly.

Louis swears before he met Harry he never rolled his eyes this much. But whenever he says things like this it’s impossible not to. “You’re ridiculous,” he muttered, turning himself so he was laying on the younger lad’s chest.

Harry hummed his agreement as he rubbed a gentle hand up and down Louis’ back, feeling the older lad let out a content breath against him. “I was thinking about something and I wanted to talk to you,” he said quietly. “What do you think about maybe inviting my mum, sister, Robin and Charlie to come to New York with us?”

Louis looked up at Harry, the younger lad’s eyes already on him. “I think that’s a great idea Haz,” he said through a soft smile. “I’m sure they’d love to come and it gives us more time to spend with them.”

Harry smiled happily to himself before connecting their lips sweetly and squeezing at Louis’ waist before settling back against his pillow. And that smile didn’t fade as he felt the older lad fall asleep against him, as he fell asleep himself in his childhood home.

When they were all up in the morning and sitting around the table for breakfast Harry had asked. The response was immediate, his mum lunging out of her seat and crushing him in a hug as Gemma screamed how excited she was, Charlie maybe screaming louder than her because he was going on holiday with Harry Styles.

But the happiest person there had to be Harry. He didn’t expect them to be so excited, and not only that but he had his family coming to New York with him. It wasn’t just him and an empty jet, not this year. This year he had his family, his whole family.

*~*

Louis kept a firm grip on Holden as he looked at the huge private jet in front of him, his jaw going slack as he very slowly followed Harry on board and saw the inside of it.

He was sure he looked like an idiot just standing there with his mouth open but he couldn’t help it. This was Harry’s plane… Like Harry owns a plane and this is it and it’s beautiful.

“Ed!!” Holden shrieked, wiggling out of his daddy’s arms and running down the aisle.

“Big guy!” Ed said happily as the toddler climbed in his lap and he immediately hugged him. “Haven’t seen you in a while. How was your Christmas?”

“The best!” Holden said excitedly. “I play trains with grandpa and papa and daddy give trampoline and I show Rob all my toys and-”

Ed was having a hard time keeping up as the 3 year old kept going on and on, but still smiled and nodded at him as he waved “hello” to Louis and Harry.

“Niall on yet?” Harry asked, placing his bag on the table and sending a smirk over to Louis as he saw him still in awe.

“Yeah he’s in the bathroom and Clara’s talking to the pilot,” Ed said before quickly returning his attention to Holden.

Harry nodded as he let out a deep breath, definitely needing to talk to Clara about media stuff this upcoming week. “Lou…” he said, wanting the older lad’s attention. “Babe you can put your bag down and sit if you want,” he said slightly teasingly.

Louis’ mouth was still hung open as he looked around the plane but nodded anyway, putting his and Holden’s carry on’s on a seat.

“Papa when nana and grandpa come?” Holden asked once he was done rambling to Ed.

“They’re coming on with aunt Gemma and uncle Charlie any minute,” Harry said, looking through his bag for his papers.

“Gem is coming?” Ed asked, a small smirk coming to him. “Oh you might want to warn the Irish one.”

“Mate trust me, I-”

“Harry! Louis!” Niall said, coming from the back of the plane. “And Holden of course! How are my favorite boys?”

“Hey Ni, can we talk for a second?” Harry asked as he saw both Louis and Holden wave happily at the Irish lad.

“Yeah, is something wro-...” Niall stopped himself, going wide eyed as he saw a familiar brunette come onto the plane. “Gemma?” he barely whispered.

Harry snapped his head towards the front of the plane, his eyes immediately landing on Gemma, Charlie, his mum and Robin coming on.

“Hey Niall, how’ve you been?” Gemma asked, offering him a small smile.

Niall opened and closed his mouth as he looked between Harry and Gemma, his throat going dry. “Good, good, yeah m’good,” he said through a sheepish smile. “How’ve you been? I-I mean you look great and just-”

“She has a boyfriend Niall, don’t even try,” Harry said as he rolled his eyes, his best mate having a crush on his sister since they were in high school.

Everyone on the plane snapped their heads to Niall, the Irish lad’s cheeks immediately going bright red.

“Yeah, hey, I’m the boyfriend,” Charlie said, waving to him and offering him a tight lined smile.

“Oh this just got loads more interesting,” Louis muttered as he looked between Niall and Gemma, earning a chuckle from Harry.

“Alright everyone, put your stuff down, pick somewhere to sit and relax,” Harry said, smiling at all of them as he walked over to his mum and gave her a quick kiss on her cheek.

After Charlie was done eyeing Niall carefully and shifting Gemma to the other side of the plane he was nearly jumping in his seat, thinking about where he was.

“Oh my, hello everyone!” Clara said happily. “I’m Clara, Harry’s publicist,” she introduced, shaking all of their hands. “This is definitely a change from how we normally travel, huh H?” she asked jokingly.

Harry hummed, never having this many people on the plane. At most it's Clara, Niall and Ed. But now there are six more people joining them, and Harry couldn’t be happier.

Once introductions were over with everyone Holden was quick to run over to Robin and Anne, giving them both big hugs before moving over to Gemma and Charlie. Harry doesn’t know how but after not seeing them for a day it was like Holden had a million new things to tell them.

“You okay Lou?” Harry asked with furrowed eyebrows as the older lad slowly took a seat next to him on the couch.

Louis hummed as he bit his lip. “Just uhm, just mildly terrified of flying.”

“You’re telling me this now? After we’re ready to go on an 8 hour flight?” Harry asked with raised eyebrows, trying desperately not to laugh.

“W-well I’ve never flown before and just like…” Louis trailed off.

“Babe it won’t even feel like we’re flying, trust me,” Harry said, rubbing small circles into the older lad’s back. “We’ll hang out, have some dinner, get some sleep and we’re there.”

Louis nodded as he let out a deep breath. Maybe he should’ve ignored Zayn’s texts when he started talking about plane horror stories.

“The three of us have a lot to talk about,” Clara said, sitting across from them at the table.

Harry looked over at Louis one more time, making sure he was actually okay before kissing his temple and pulling him into his side. “Well the sooner we start the sooner we’ll finish.”

Clara nodded as she pulled out all her papers, a pen and notebook, trying to stay organized. “Alright, so first things first, your relationship in the media,” she said, her eyes shifting between different papers. “Alleged rumors are going around that you guys are dating and that Holden is Louis’ son, and that’s exactly what we wanted,” Clara said, offering them both a small smile. “We’ve had a “reliable source”, or me, say that you two used to date and are getting close again. There have been some fan rumors that Holden is also yours Harry because there’s no denying you look alike, which is also something we wanted. It would be too much if we hit everyone with the news head on. We did want some rumors going around that he’s also yours and we’ve had a couple magazine and online articles already post some things suggesting that.”

Harry nodded as he took in everything Clara was saying, and when he looked over to Louis the older lad looked just a tiny bit lost.

“Now you have your performance on New Year’s Eve and there’s no doubt in my mind all eyes and cameras will be on you two when the clock hits midnight, and that’ll basically seal the deal that you two are serious,” Clara said, looking back to her papers. “And the day after that we have Good Morning America where you’ll confirm that you’re seeing each other, and that Holden is also yours. Plus you have a five set song performance, but we’ll talk about that in a little bit.”

Louis rubbed his hands over his face, all of this coming so fast. He knew it was bound to happen eventually and he was okay it was happening, but he still worried. He didn’t want people bombarding him and Holden when they’re out in public and he doesn’t want people saying bad things about Harry or him because of when they broke up and Harry left him with a kid. Or maybe they would say that Louis was just using Harry for his money and Holden wasn’t really his or-

“Lou, babe what’s wrong?” Harry asked with furrowed eyebrows, worry sketched all over the older lad’s face.

Louis shook his head and let out a deep breath as he felt the plane under them begin to rumble and move. “The media, the fans… What’re they gonna say? What’re they gonna do when they find out?”

Harry opened his mouth to say something, but Clara beat him to it.

“Louis I understand you’re worried, but trust me we have this all under control,” she said softly. “Security is all worked out for you and Holden and whatever the media comes up with we can shut it down quickly. Believe it or not but it’s very easy to deny something if it’s false in the media and an apology will be given out by the source.”

Louis bit his lip as he took in what she was saying and let out another deep breath, feeling the plane pick up speed. If Clara said she had everything under control then he believed her. Clearly she was close with Harry and she wouldn’t let anything bad happen to him or them.

“Thank you,” he said quietly. “I’m just… It might take me a bit to adjust to all of this. You know the cameras, the people, and making sure Holden is okay with all of it.”

“And I want to make it an easy transition for you,” Clara said, offering him a small smile. “I know it’s a lot and these past couple months you’ve been doing great. Just keep doing what you’re doing and everything will be fine, I promise.”

Louis couldn’t even nod before he felt the plane start to take off, his hand immediately grabbing Harry’s and squeezing it tightly before he looked around for Holden, wanting to make sure he was okay. And when he spotted the toddler he was on Niall’s lap, his hands in the air like he was on a ride.

“C’mon even the 3 year old is having fun, relax,” Harry teased slightly as he pulled Louis into his side and kissed his hair.

Louis wasn’t even sure he was breathing until he felt the plane take a steady course, only then relaxing a bit.

They talked about the media for a few more minutes, them being warned that the paps and fans will be crazy for a few days at the news but they were ensured maximum security. So once that was done all Harry had to do was pick what songs he’ll be singing for his Good Morning America performance.

He had chosen two of his more acoustic songs and then two upbeat songs before remembering he was also playing his new single for the first time.

“Encore?” Clara asked with raised eyebrows one she had the names of the songs written down.

“Uhm.. Let’s do Leave Your Lover,” Harry said as he bit his lip.

Clara and Louis stilled where they were, even Ed picked his head up from the game he was playing on his phone.

“Mate you haven’t played that in 4 years… And the last time you tried to play it you literally had to stop because you started crying in front of a sold out show…” Ed said slowly.

Harry let out a quiet breath, very well remembering that show, being just a month after he and Louis broke up. “Well it’s different now,” he shrugged, glancing over at the blue eyed lad. “It was a favorite and I think everyone would like to hear it again.”

“Leave Your Lover it is,” Clara said through a grin, writing it down on the paper. “Alright, works done, now we can relax.”

Harry smiled happily to himself before pulling out his own papers and went over the rest of the songs he had to perfect before he recorded them.

Everyone else was lounging around, Louis pulling out students’ papers he had to grade and working next to Harry as Holden played with some of his toys on the floor with Niall. The tv was on in the background, playing some movie and Anne and Robin were talking as Gemma read a book and Charlie nervously made his way over to Ed, trying to talk to him. Harry was actually surprised the ginger lad put his game down for more than five minutes to talk to him.

Hours later they all had dinner, every single one of them saying that plane food can’t possibly be that good, but it was a private plane after all. To pass some more time Harry and Ed got their guitars out, played a few songs and tried not to laugh as they played, watching as Holden started dancing by himself and singing along to the songs he knew.

By the time they were done playing Holden was tired and all sweaty from his dancing so he immediately climbed onto his daddy’s lap, spreading out and saying he was going to bed.

Louis was a bit nervous, not wanting him to go to bed too early, but he could also see how exhausted the toddler was, so he didn’t stop him. Instead Louis gently rubbed Holden’s back and lulled him to sleep, grateful everyone began to quiet down so he could rest.

For the next three or so hours everyone played board games or just talked. One by one people started drifting off to sleep, but Ed, Niall, Charlie and Harry stayed up, the curly haired lad needing to prove he was the best Scrabble player on the plane.

And just as it was his turn, the plane nearly dead silent except for the hum of the engines he was at a complete loss of what to play. He glanced over at Louis, the older lad still fast asleep on the other couch before looking back to the board and trying to figure out his move.

“Papa?” Holden mumbled tiredly, wiping his sleep filled eyes as he shuffled over to his father.

“Hang on one second buddy,” Harry said, nibbling on his bottom lip, his eyes locked on the board.

“But papa,” Holden said, tapping his shoulder to get his attention.

“H, hang on,” Harry breathed out, looking between his letters and the words on the board.

Holden let out a quiet whine as he crossed one leg over the other and gripped at his pants. “Papa please,” he said, jumping up and down slightly.

“Holden I’ll help you in-”

“Harry,” Niall said quickly, it looking like the toddler was a second away from crying.

Harry looked down at Holden, sure enough tears were in his eyes and he was doing his little potty dance. “Oh shit,” he muttered before quickly pushing himself out of his seat and scooping the toddler up.

But Harry couldn’t even get halfway down the hall before he felt Holden’s pants getting wet and heard quiet cries escaping the 3 year old as he rested his head on his shoulder.

“P-papa I sorry,” Holden mumbled into his neck.

Harry felt his heart drop into his stomach as he got into the bathroom and set Holden down. “No, this is all my fault, you did nothing wrong,” he tried to assure him. “Buddy I am so so sorry,” Harry barely whispered as he shook his head. “You stay right here okay? Take off your clothes and sit on the potty until I come back, alright?”

Holden nodded as he hiccuped to himself and began pulling off his wet pants.

Harry let out a quiet breath before walking out of the bathroom and running a hand over his face, trying to rush and get Holden new clothes. He couldn’t even say how sorry he was, how awful he felt because Holden was trying to tell him, and he just ignored him.

“Hey, he alright?” Ed asked worriedly as he saw the curly haired lad rushing around.

“Uhm yeah, he’s fine,” Harry breathed out, grabbing Holden’s bag. “He had an accident but it’s all my fault, just… Just please don’t say anything about it to him, he might be a little embarrassed.”

“Of course mate, go help him out,” Niall said softly, both Charlie and Ed nodding along.

Harry thanked them quickly before making his way back to Holden, the toddler doing exactly what he was told and sitting on the toilet when he got to him. “H I don’t know what to say, I really am so sorry,” he said quietly, reaching into the toddler’s bag and pulling out fresh clothes.

He couldn’t even help Holden in his underwear before the 3 year old started crying again, hiding his face in his hands and hiccuping to himself.

“Buddy what’s wrong?” Harry asked softly, trying to get him to put his clothes on.

“I-I no big b-boy,” Holden cried into his hands. “A-and E-Ed and Niall and u-uncle Charlie s-see me go potty i-in my pants,” he said, his tears coming out faster and faster.

“Holden, listen to me,” Harry said quietly, getting the toddler into his pants before pulling him into his chest and hugging him gently. “You are the biggest boy I know… And you know what, none of this is your fault, it’s all mine, okay? Big boys like you try to get help and that’s exactly what you did but papa wasn’t listening and he's so sorry buddy.”

Holden hugged him back, his tears falling onto his papa’s shirt as he rested his head on his shoulder.

“And Ed and Niall and uncle Charlie don’t even know okay? Don’t worry big guy, it’s okay,” Harry said softly as he rubbed the 3 year old’s back. “You can even say it, it’s all your fault papa,” he said, pulling away slightly, wiping Holden’s cheeks and smiling at him.

“It’s all your fault papa,” Holden mumbled, looking to his feet.

“C’mon, you can do better than that.”

Holden bit his lip as he smiled to himself. “It’s all your fault papa,” he said again through a small giggle.

“There we go,” Harry said, pulling him back into his chest and kissing his head. “I don’t think I can say sorry enough, I feel so awful buddy.”

“Well it all your fault,” Holden mumbled teasingly into his shoulder.

“Alright smarty pants,” Harry said as he laughed to himself and pulled away from the 3 year old. “Let’s finish getting you changed and we can go relax alright?”

Holden nodded and let his papa put his shirt on him before picking up his wet clothes and putting them in a plastic bag.

“Ready buddy?” Harry asked, already walking out of the bathroom with the toddler’s hand in his own.

But just before they could get out of the hallway Holden slowed down, biting his lip as he hid behind his papa’s legs and carefully peeked his head out to see Ed, Niall and his uncle Charlie.

“It’s okay H, I promise,” Harry said softly, picking the toddler up and carrying him towards the table.

“Hey there he is,” Charlie said happily. “How was your sleep buddy? You gonna be up for the rest of the night?”

Harry was beyond grateful that none of the boys had said anything, and he was even happier to see Holden smile at Charlie before reaching for him and climbing in his lap.

He put Holden’s bag down before placing the bag with his soiled clothes off to the side, knowing he’ll have to tell Louis what happened when he wakes up. But for now he took his seat back at the table and picked up the game where they left off.

Holden made himself comfortable in Charlie’s lap, leaning back against his chest and plopping his thumb in his mouth before watching the four boys play the game.

An hour and Scrabble game won by Harry later Holden had moved to Ed’s arms, immediately falling asleep as the ginger haired lad sang quietly under his breath to him and rubbed his back.

The four boys called it a night, all of them sleeping where they were sitting except for Harry who stayed up and worked on a few more song ideas. But he couldn’t get that far before he felt a gentle hand run through his hair. And when he looked up he saw Louis smiling tiredly at him before taking a seat next to him.

Harry offered him a small smile, putting his pen down and turning to face him. He told Louis what had happened with Holden and the more he told him the more upset he could see the older lad getting.

It was more than obvious that Louis was mad, but held everything in him so he wouldn’t wake everyone on the plane up.

He whisper yelled, and sent hard glares to Harry for not listening to Holden or checking if he was okay. And Harry got it, he really did understand. What he did was completely wrong and he should have been more focused on Holden than some board game, but even when he apologized to Louis more than a million times and told him how awful he felt he knew the older lad was still a bit mad at him.

Harry understood that he was still proving to Louis that he could be a good parent, that one mistake could set him back with the older lad. So he got why Louis was mad at him, but the more they talked the more the older lad could see how sorry and how awful he felt about what happened. And by the time Harry was nearly falling asleep in the middle of his sentence Louis had calmed down before laying with the younger lad on the couch, the two sleeping in each other’s arms until they landed in New York.

*~*

As soon as they got into the hotel room Louis dropped his bags and shuffled over to the couch. He didn’t even look around the more than luxurious suite before throwing himself down on the plush furniture.

His ears were hurting from the plane, he had the biggest headache in the world from all the screaming people and flashing camera lights at the airport and then right outside the hotel, and he was beyond exhausted. Louis decided he really, really hated traveling.

“H are you hungry or anything?” Harry asked softly as he shifted the toddler on his hip and let his bodyguards bring all of their luggage in.

Holden hummed tiredly as he nodded against his papa’s shoulder, trying to wake up a bit.

“Alright big guy, I’ll set you down here and I’ll call for some food okay?” Harry said, putting Holden down in one of the oversized chairs and kissing his head quickly. “Lou do you want anything to eat?” he asked the older lad quietly, walking over to him and gently running his fingers through his hair.

Louis grumbled to himself as he leaned into Harry’s touch. He didn’t know what he wanted or even how he was feeling. He was still slightly upset with Harry for what happened on the plane and now he just felt disgusting and tired.

“Love what to do you need?” Harry asked, kneeling beside the couch and rubbing Louis’ back. It was clear that he didn’t feel well and Harry wished there was anything he could do to help him.

“I need a thousand pills, some tea and a shower,” Louis mumbled into the couch cushions.

“Okay,” Harry said softly before kissing Louis’ temple. “I’ll get you some medicine and make your tea, you go shower.”

Louis let out a quiet breath as he nodded to himself and slowly sat up. But before he could even get off the couch he heard loud banging at the door, making him wince.

Harry rushed over to the door, looking through the peephole before seeing Niall and Ed standing there. “Hey guys, what’s up?” he asked as he opened the door.

“Time to get our drink on, let’s go!” Niall said excitedly.

Harry bit his lip as he glanced over his shoulder to Louis, seeing the older lad’s eyes already on him. “I can’t m’sorry,” he said as he shook his head. “Lou doesn’t feel well and Holden is hungry and just, yeah.”

He knew that whenever they travel anywhere this is what they do. They throw their bags in their rooms before heading down to the bar and getting proper drunk, but Harry couldn’t, not this time.

“You need help?” Ed asked, already walking into the room with Niall following right behind him.

“No, it’s fine, you guys can go,” Harry said, but he was clearly ignored as Niall went to check on Louis and Ed walked right over to Holden, picking him up and pulling him into his chest.

“First time travelling is always the worst, believe me,” Niall said, rubbing Louis’ back.

Louis really just wanted to groan and hide his face in a pillow, but instead he nodded and very slowly stood up. He muttered to Harry that he was going to take a shower before looking around for the bedroom and shuffling away.

“He okay?” Ed asked with furrowed eyebrows.

Harry let out a deep breath as he threw himself on the couch and started looking through the room service menu. It was about 9pm New York time but back in London it was 2am, and he knew Louis and Holden were a little out of sorts because of the time change.

“He’s a little mad at me for what happened on the plane with-” he gestured over to Holden, “and he has a headache and he just doesn’t feel good.”

“I’m sure he’ll perk up after his shower,” Ed said quietly as he watched Holden play with his bracelets.

Niall hummed his agreement as he started going through the bags on the floor, looking through them to find Holden’s toys. But as Harry heard Ed he wasn’t so sure. He still ordered food for all of them, including Louis, even if he didn’t want anything before starting his tea and coming back into the living room.

“Niall stop! That mine!!” Holden said, getting off Ed’s lap and grabbing his toy from the Irish man.

“Buddy I know, I was getting it out for you,” Niall said quietly, the toddler clearly mad at him.

“No touch! It mine!!” Holden said, pulling his toy into his chest and glaring at Niall.

Niall opened and closed his mouth, not sure what to say, but thankfully he didn’t have to say anything because Harry came to the rescue.

“H, stop that, that’s not nice,” Harry said, taking a seat back on the couch. “Niall wasn’t doing anything wrong, he just wanted to play with you.”

“But it mine!!” Holden said, stomping his little foot.

Harry let out a deep breath as he ran a hand over his face, tonight really not being his night. “Holden both Niall and I know that’s your toy. He wasn’t trying to take it from you, he was going to pass it to you so you could play.”

Holden didn’t take his eyes off Niall as he clung to his toy and continued to glare at the older man.

“H come here,” Harry said, trying his hardest not to sound frustrated. And once the 3 year old finally peeled his eyes off of Niall he shuffled over to Harry and stood in front of him. “Buddy I know you’re tired and you’re hungry but it’s not okay to be mean to someone who wanted to do something nice for you,” he said softly. “Remember how you two were playing on the plane? That’s all Niall wanted to do. He was trying to make you feel better.”

And it was almost immediate that Holden’s face softened as glanced over at Niall, seeing he made the older man a bit upset. “Sorry Niall,” he said quietly before going over to him and hugging him.

Harry let out a breath of relief as he sat back against the couch, feeling like now he could use a drink or four. There was no doubt in his mind that later he’d have at least one to relax a bit. But for right now all he could do was try to relax on the couch, watch Holden and Niall play on the floor and wait until the food came.

Thankfully though by the time all of them, even Louis, were done eating everyone was calm and feeling more like themselves.

Ed and Niall did make their way down to the bar but Harry stayed behind. Instead he tucked Holden into bed and made his way to his own room where Louis was already laying down.

“Feeling better?” he asked, looking through his suitcase for a fresh shirt.

Louis hummed as he pulled off his glasses and set his book down on the bedside table. “Headache is gone and I don’t smell like a trashcan anymore.”

Harry laughed to himself as he pulled off his pants and tugged a clean shirt over his head before joining the older lad on the bed. He glanced over at Louis, his back to him as he laid on the bed, and Harry knew he was still a little upset with him and beyond tired and tense. And without thinking he reached a hand over, gently tugging at the hem of Louis’ shirt.

“H stop,” Louis breathed out.

“No, c’mere,” Harry said, pulling on his arm and moving him to the middle of the bed. “Take your shirt off and lay on your stomach.”

Louis slowly turned his head to look at Harry, not believing what he just said. “Are you serious right now? Like you really think that I’m in any mood to-”

“Lou relax,” Harry said through a chuckle. “I’m not trying to get something going, I was just gonna rub your back.”

“Oh…” Louis said quietly as he nibbled on his bottom lip. “Uhm, yeah sure,” he said through a small smile, that actually sounding amazing as he pulled his shirt over his head and laid on his stomach.

Harry raked his eyes down Louis’ back, getting stuck on where his boxers clung to his bum. And God did Harry miss this sight. Louis sprawled over the bed, just waiting for him. And even if it wasn’t for the reason Harry had in his head, still at the sight he couldn’t move.

“Could you maybe get lo-...” Louis turned his head to look at the younger lad, a small smirk coming to him as he saw Harry just staring at his arse. “You okay H?”

“Huh?” Harry snapped his head up. “Uhm lotion, yeah, yeah, got it,” he rushed out, reaching for the bottle on his bedside table.

He swallowed thickly as Louis rested his head back on the pillow, waiting for him to do something. So Harry carefully picked himself up, swung one leg over the older lad so he was straddling his back before gently settling himself on Louis’ bum.

“Harry…” Louis said through a shaky breath, his eyes just barely catching the younger lad’s as he looked over his shoulder.

“Relax love,” Harry said softly as he put lotion on his hands before lightly rubbing it all over Louis’ back.

Louis could nearly hear his heart pounding in his ears as he felt Harry’s crotch pressed into his bum. But that was just before he felt the younger lad’s fingers pressing into his skin, his eyes immediately closing and quiet groan escaping him at the feeling.

“There we go,” Harry said through a small smile as he ran his hands down Louis’ slick skin and pressed his thumbs into the older lad’s lower back. “Lou…?” he asked quietly, wanting to talk to him.

Louis made some noise as he melted into Harry’s touch. It sounded like a mumbled moan as he pressed his face into his pillow, but that was the only thing he could do to tell the younger lad he was listening.

“I know I’ve said it a million times but I really am so sorry about what happened with Holden on the plane,” Harry barely whispered, still kneading into Louis’ back gently. “I know it was completely wrong of me to not listen to him or see if he needed anything, I’m just… I’m so sorry…”

Louis bit his lip as he felt Harry’s hands stop, turning his head to look at the younger lad over his shoulder and letting out a small breath. “I know you’re still getting used to this parent thing, but you have to remember he’s 3 and you’re his father Harry…” he said quietly. “He’s going to ask for your attention over things like that and if you don’t give it to him it comes off as if you don’t care.”

Harry wanted to rush out that of course he cares, he cares about Holden more than anything. But instead he just nodded, not wanting to seem defensive. “I know, I just have to keep stuff like that in mind.”

Louis nodded, knowing that Harry understood what he was saying as he laid his head back down on the pillow. “Thank you for apologizing,” he said in a hushed tone.

Harry let out a relieved breath as he smiled softly to himself and leaned forward until his head was next to Louis’, gently pressing their lips together before giving him a few more pecks.

“Harry I’m sorry but if you keep doing this I’m gonna get hard with your dick pressed into my ass the way it is right now,” Louis said through a quiet laugh.

“Would that be so bad?” Harry asked teasingly as he smirked to himself and sat up, continuing with massaging the older lad’s back.

All Louis did was groan, but to Harry that wasn’t necessarily a no. Instead of torturing the older lad though Harry continued rubbing Louis’ back, him letting out quiet moans and mumbling incoherent words into his pillow as Harry’s slick fingers worked at his tense muscles.

And it wasn’t too long later Louis was completely relaxed, his back loose and Harry’s lips on his with shaky breaths exchanged between them.

They kissed until their lips were bruised, their hair tousled and half hards were being pressed together through the thin material of their boxers. But of course before Harry could even pull his shirt off the two had to abruptly break apart at hearing their bedroom door opening.

“Daddy? Papa?” Holden asked sleepily as he shuffled into the room, heading straight for the bed.

“Buddy what are you doing up?” Louis asked through a deep breath, trying to calm down and adjust himself under the covers.

“New bed and hard to sleep,” Holden mumbled tiredly as he tried to climb on the bed.

Harry tried not to groan as he heard the toddler and faced away from the two of them, wanting desperately for his half hard to disappear.

“Alright, c’mon,” Louis breathed out as he helped the toddler on the bed. “Lay down, try to get some sleep,” he said, settling the 3 year old on his right side.

Once Harry had calmed down enough he turned back over so he was facing the older lad who was stuck in between him and Holden. “You know we’ll have to pick this back up at some point,” he whispered into Louis’ ear, making him laugh quietly.

“We’ll have to make sure a certain toddler is asleep first though,” Louis said as he bit his lip and felt his cheeks heating up, just thinking about what would’ve happened if Holden didn’t come in.

Harry hummed to himself as he nipped at the older lad’s collar bone and pressed a wet kiss into the marking.

Louis squeezed his eyes shut as he elbowed Harry, earning a chuckle from the younger lad before he began peppering kisses all over his chest, working his way up his neck and then finally connecting their lips gently.

“Goodnight,” Harry mumbled against him through a small smirk.

“Night,” Louis whispered as Harry pulled away slightly, unable to stop the smile that came to him as he felt the younger lad brushing his fingers through his hair.

“Night night,” Holden yawned as he tossed and turned on the bed.

Both Louis and Harry rolled their eyes as they heard the 3 year old, but that didn’t stop them from pulling him into the middle of the bed, wrapping their arms around each other and lulling him to sleep.

*~*

The next two days in the city were chaotic to say the least.

Harry made it a point to show Louis, Holden and his family his favorite spots in the city, dragging them to Times Square and going to little hole in the wall restaurants to eat.

Even in the cold weather walking around the city was amazing, the buildings all lit up and the busy stores calming down slightly now that Christmas had passed. But of course because they were walking around with Harry Styles the crowds followed them, screaming girls and excited boys knowing where they were at all times it seemed.

Of course none of them actually got close to them because of the wall of security guards they had, but Louis only feared what it would be like when people found out Harry was a father. He knew the news would make headlines and that people would be shocked, only bringing if possible more attention to them.

When they were walking through the stores in Times Square as the day went on it became increasingly difficult. All Holden wanted to do was run around the massive stores, trying to get his hands on every toy he laid his eyes on, but he had to stay in Harry or Louis’ arms.

Louis wasn’t risking anything with putting him down and someone accidentally knocking into him or pulling on him. Luckily he wasn’t to resistant though, happy to be in either of their arms if he still got to look at all of the toys. And if Harry had it his way he would’ve bought all of them for the 3 year old but after they had about four bags full of toys, clothes and candy Louis told him to stop, not wanting Holden to get everything he asked for. Thankfully Harry did understand that Louis didn’t want to spoil him, but at least he could still spoil Gemma, Charlie, Robin and his mum while they were out. Niall and Ed he left to fend for themselves as usual.

But after two days of walking around the city, screaming girls, flashing camera lights and basically everything in Times Square bought everyone was in their rooms getting ready New Year’s Eve.

Harry and Ed had already done their soundcheck while everyone else had dinner in the hotel’s restaurant. So the only thing they had to do was get dressed, bundle up for the cold and head back to Times Square to wait for their performance and for the clock to strike midnight.

Louis made sure Holden was wearing his thickest clothes and had a minimum of three layers on before getting him situated in his stroller and wrapping him in blankets. He wasn’t taking any chances, even if the toddler complained about being too hot, Louis knew that when they were outside for hours that Holden would be grateful.

“Lou! You ready?” Niall yelled as he came into the hotel room. “Everyone is at Times Square waiting for us!”

All he got for a response though was a loud and annoyed “stop daddy!!” from Holden.

“You’ll thank me when your ears don’t freeze off,” Louis said, pushing Holden’s stroller into the room and adjusting the toddler’s hat.

Niall smiled to himself as he saw the two and heard Holden groaning from his stroller. And as the 3 year old had a million layers and blankets on him Louis was all dressed up in his nicest clothes. “You’re not trying to impress a certain curly haired lad, are ya Lou?”

Louis rolled his eyes as he ran his hand down the front of his cardigan and reached for his coat to bundle up. “I don’t need to impress,” he scoffed. “You on the other hand are still trying to be a girlfriend stealer and I know that’s why you broke out the glasses. Harry told me that Gemma complimented you on them one time and-”

“Okay! Yeah, whatever,” Niall said stopping him as he felt his cheeks heating up. “And I’m not a girlfriend stealer,” he mumbled, following the older lad out of the room.

“Mate yesterday at dinner Charlie had to ask you to move because you took the only seat next to Gem… Like you shoved him out of the way...” Louis said with raised eyebrows.

Niall shrugged as they got into the lift. “Well I saw a seat and he got in my way,” he muttered.

Louis looked over to the Irish lad and hummed, trying to hold back a small laugh. “Mate seriously it’s been years, get over your high school crush. We’re in New York City for God’s sake, keep your options open.”

“Oh c’mon Lou, you know I get some at least once a week, it’s not like I’m closing myself off,” Niall huffed.

“Get what?” Holden asked with furrowed eyebrows.

“Se-”

Louis clapped a hand over Niall’s mouth, looking at him wide eyed before slapping him upside the head and pushing Holden’s stroller out of the lift. “Friends,” he said quickly. “Niall is really good at making friends.”

“Oh,” Holden said as he nodded to himself, that making sense because Niall was very nice and funny.

Louis let out a breath of relief as he and Niall made their way onto the city streets, Times Square only being three blocks away. But as they made their way down the pavement Louis was sure to send the Irishman a small glare, keeping in mind to watch Niall when he’s around Holden, him not wanting the younger lad to tell his son things he shouldn’t be.

They made their way through the thick crowds, Niall leading Louis one way and then another to get them to the stage Harry and Ed were performing on right in front of where the ball drop is.

He gave their names to two security guards when they got there and they were quick to be let to the side of the stage where Anne, Robin, Charlie and Gemma were all standing by a huge space heater.

“Geez Holden, you warm enough?” Gemma teased as she reached for the toddler.

“I know, tell that to daddy,” Holden muttered as he rolled his eyes and wrapped his arms around his auntie’s neck.

“Yeah, you’re welcome,” Louis breathed out. “Where’s Harry? He’ll be nice to- oh my God!” he jumped, feeling someone wrap their arms around his waist before he turned around and saw a laughing Harry. “You arse, don’t do that!!” Louis said through a chuckle as he hit the younger lad’s chest, just making him laugh more.

Harry rolled his eyes as he leaned down towards Louis, but before their lips met he felt a finger being pressed to his mouth.

“Wait til midnight,” Louis said as he shook his head and laughed to himself.

“But that’s in three hours!!” Harry said wide eyed.

“So I expect one hell of a kiss,” Louis said through a small smirk.

“Get a room,” Ed muttered as he came up to the group and rolled his eyes at the two. “H what’re you doin up? Isn’t is past your bedtime?” he asked the 3 year old.

“Daddy say I watch you and papa play and then I go to nana and grandpa’s room to go night night,” Holden explained as he played with his aunt’s necklace.

Ed nodded as he smiled at the toddler, happy that he was here to watch them perform even if he wouldn’t stay for the ball drop. There was no doubt in his mind though that the 3 year old would pass out before that anyway.

They all hung out backstage, standing around the heater and waiting until it was time for Harry and Ed to go on. Louis suggested Niall search the crowd for a single girl but all the Irish lad did was let out a deep breath and mumble to himself.

Holden, Robin and Anne talked about their plans for going to the Transit Museum to check out all the old trains after the interview tomorrow, and the more they talked about it the more excited Holden got. And because of his new fascination with trains while they were shopping earlier today Harry and Robin took it upon themselves to get the toddler a nice set to take back home. Louis wasn’t even sure if their playroom had enough space to hold all the new toys the 3 year old got just from this trip alone.

It was only an hour later Harry was getting ready to go on, him by himself before Ed joined on the last two. But the younger lad was set to go out again just before the ball drop, Holden unfortunately not being able to stay up for that one, but Harry assured him he wasn’t going to miss much.

“You ready?” Louis asked softly, fixing the collar of Harry’s coat after he slung his guitar over his shoulder.

“Don’t worry love, I’m much better with controlling my nerves now,” Harry said through a quiet laugh, remembering the time he was a right mess before a show and Louis always had to calm him down.

“Just making sure,” Louis muttered as he smiled to himself and looked the younger lad over. “You’ll do great, like always.”

Harry hummed, a slow grin coming over him as he leaned down and kissed Louis’ cheek gently. “Make sure my fan club over here is cheering properly.”

“Of course,” Louis said, watching as Harry backed away and swung his guitar over his front.

Harry sent a wink to the older lad before kissing Holden’s cheek gently and saying his goodbye’s to everyone else before stepping up right to the side of the stage. And it wasn’t until he heard his name announced where he went out, the crowd’s scream deafening and all cameras and screens in Times Square on the curly haired lad.

Harry of course got the crowd going as soon as he was in front of him, warming them up a bit with some horrid jokes and odd comments. And Louis really doesn’t understand why anyone would laugh, but here was an entire crowd clutching their stomachs as they watched Harry.

“Okay, okay!” Harry laughed into his microphone as he adjusted his guitar. “So this song is gonna be on my upcoming album and I uh, I actually wrote it for someone very special who is actually here with me tonight,” he said, glancing to the side of the stage and smiling at the older lad. “[This one’s for you Lou](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JESuKSbqkIc).”

Louis felt his cheeks immediately heating up as he saw everyone on the side of that stage smiling at him and Holden was giggling in his stroller. But still, he watched as Harry began playing, the song was fun and upbeat and Louis already loved it.

The lyrics were beautiful and Harry sang it with a wide smile on his face as the crowd clapped along.

Louis had to strain himself so his smile wouldn’t break his face as he listened, but when he looked over to Holden it was impossible to stop his heart from melting at seeing him dance with Charlie and Gemma to the song.

Anne looked close to crying, Robin was watching Harry with a soft smile, and Louis was just grateful there wasn’t a camera back there because they all looked ridiculous.

It wasn’t too long later the song was over though and Ed immediately made his way on stage with his own guitar over his shoulder, the crowd going into an absolute frenzy as they saw the ginger haired man. And he wasn’t even out there for 30 seconds before the two started to play I’m a Mess, Ed always wanting to get right to it. Of course Harry knew that too as he strummed right along with him, building off of what the older lad was playing and following after him until his verse came up.

Louis always loved watching them play together years back and as he watched the two tonight he forgot just how much he loved it. What made it more special though was that Holden was here now, and so was Harry’s family.

The two boys played through the song, ignoring the light snow that began to fall around them and smiling as they saw themselves on every single screen in Times Square. It was definitely a sight neither one of them would forget for a long time.

The buildings all lit up around them, the excited energy from the crowd as the clock continued counting down until the New Year. But when it was time for their final song Ed sipped at his water as Harry leaned towards the microphone.

“Now this next song is a new one Ed and I wrote a little while ago just for tonight!” he said happily, earning a loud cheer. “So I’m gonna switch out my guitar for a pair of drumsticks because a toddler told me to and play what we’ve come up with!” he said looking over to the side of the stage and winking at Holden, the 3 year old clapping and cheering loudly.

“Seriously mate? Holden asked you to?” Ed asked through a chuckle into the microphone.

“Oh yeah, he loves it when I play drums,” Harry said, adjusting his microphone over his ear and looking back to the toddler.

Ed rolled his eyes fondly, thinking the younger lad would play piano considering he wrote the piece for it, but instead someone else was sitting in front of the instrument. “Alright, this is called [This Is The New Year](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7VS_zF87YGo), hope you enjoy it,” he said.

There were some cheers before the piano and guitar rang through the air, already upbeat and exciting.

Louis glanced over at Holden, the 3 year old already dancing and clapping his hands. But it wasn’t until he heard the drums did he still, a wide smile spreading across his face as he watched his papa on the stage.

“Go papa!!” Holden yelled, swinging his arms like he was playing the drums with his father.

Even as Harry sang with Ed and played he kept glancing over to the side, his eyes catching Holden as Louis twirled him around and the 3 year old was dancing like a maniac. But it wasn’t just the two of them, it was his family as well that was watching him with huge grins on their faces.

And as the song got louder, as it built up, Harry hit the drums harder and harder, his own smile blinding the further they got into it.

He and Ed sang in perfect harmony, the older lad looking back to him a few times and grinning like mad as they played. But when it got into the instrumental part, the loudest section in the song, he went over to Harry as the younger lad banged on the drums, his arms going in a frenzy as Ed’s fingers moved along the fretboard quickly.

Holden was screaming his head off as he watched his papa, Louis’ own eyes going wide and Harry’s family completely still at the sight of them on stage. But the two continued on, their singing louder, more energized and the crowd was in a state of shock, but that’s exactly what Harry and Ed wanted.

So when the song was done and they were both breathless everyone went crazy, the loudest screams of the night. The two hoped that the millions of people watching on tv were just as happy with the song, but they didn’t linger on stage for too long before saying goodnight and heading off to the side.

“Papa what that?!” Holden shrieked as he ran to his father. “You play so good and go boom, bang!!” he said, mimicking what his papa looked like when playing the drums.

Harry let out an airy laugh as he scooped the toddler up and kissed his cheek. “That was me being awesome, that’s what that was.”

Ed scoffed as he shook his head and passed his guitar to someone working backstage. “In your dreams mate,” he muttered jokingly before jabbing the younger lad’s side.

Harry couldn’t even say anything back before he was basically attacked, his mum and Robin hugging him, his sister nearly choking him with how hard she was squeezing him. And then there was Louis, trying so hard to not just kiss him but instead pulled him into his chest and held him, told him how amazing he was and how much he loved it.

But it wasn’t soon after Harry had to say goodnight to his mum and Robin, them taking Holden back to the hotel so he could sleep.

He showered the toddler in hugs and kisses until he was complaining and then Louis did the same thing to the 3 year old. And by the end of it Holden wasn’t all that sad about leaving because he just wanted to get away from the two.

So now it was just Louis, Harry, Ed, Niall, Gemma and Charlie backstage, listening to the other acts and trying to keep warm by the heater.

They all made conversation with the other performers, Charlie more like just staring at the famous people in front of them, but he tried his hardest to act normal. But Louis saw past his act, it clear that the older lad was clearly a mess whenever Ed or Harry introduced them to someone.

The later it got into the evening food and drinks were passed around backstage and all night Louis was tucked into Harry’s side, the younger lad’s arm wrapped around his waist, his lips brushing against his ear whenever he whispered to him. And even when they just looked at each other Niall muttered “get a room” too many times to count before Louis quickly countered back with “get a girl”, shutting the Irish lad right up.

“Geez Lou,” Harry laughed against the older lad’s temple. “Little feisty tonight huh?” he asked jokingly, but he couldn’t miss Louis’ small smirk as he shrugged to himself.

And Harry couldn’t even feel his cheeks heat up before he felt someone tapping his shoulder. Just from that he knew it was time to go back out on stage, and when he glanced at the clock it only confirmed his suspicion.

“Babe I gotta go,” Harry breathed out, wrapping his arms around the older lad’s waist. “Just one last song and I’m all yours.”

“Finally,” Louis groaned dramatically even though he’s had Harry basically the entire night. “Go be a popstar.”

Harry nodded at him before kissing his cheek and waving to everyone else. This song was supposed to be timed perfectly so when he finished the countdown was at 10 seconds and then everyone would bring in the New Year together.

So when he was given the go ahead to walk on stage he only had a little bit of time to talk before playing.

He made his way on stage, his heart pounding faster and faster as the clock ticked down. But he got to the microphone anyway, the crowd calming down a bit as they saw that he wanted to talk.

“Now as the clock gets closer to midnight I just want to take a second and reflect,” he said softly, all eyes and cameras on him. “To remember our missteps and triumphs… Or our promises we made and then broke…” Harry said quietly, glancing over at Louis and biting his lip. “Or maybe the time we closed ourselves off for the fear of getting hurt,” he said, his eyes locked on the older lad. “But now it’s the New Year and we get another chance. To make up for what we had done and to forgive the ones that hurt us.” Harry said, finally peeling his eyes away from the blue eyed lad and to the crowd, them watching him just as intensely as Louis was. “So here’s the last song before we kick off the New Year, before we have our chance to start over.”

Louis was frozen as he watched Harry make his way to the piano. The younger lad glanced up at the clock before letting out a deep breath and placing his fingers on the keys, waiting just a second before a [soft sound came from the instrument](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ibTYf0PZZtI).

And just as Harry opened his mouth to sing he locked his eyes back on Louis’, his voice coming out low and slow over the speakers.

All Louis could do was look right back at him, his heart pounding but chest barely moving as shaky breaths escaped him. His eyes pooling with tears as he bit his lip but when he heard the drums and strings sneak their way in it was impossible not to let one slip.

Every word Harry sang, every note he played was to Louis. His eyes never moving from the older lad, a single tear running down his cheek as he thought about the words he was singing.

And even when Louis felt a gentle hand on his shoulder he couldn’t peel away his gaze, the more Harry played the more beautiful and meaningful it was, and Louis never wanted it to stop.

But when Harry got to the quiet part, every instrument stilling and just his gentle voice coming through the speakers it was as if everything around the two of them froze. It was just them in the over crowded Times Square, Harry singing only to Louis. And even when the song picked back up it was still just the two of them, the words in the song hitting Louis, him knowing that this was their time, that they could actually start over.

There was no second guessing, there was no what if’s as he listened to the younger lad. It was Harry is making a promise, and Louis knows for a fact that this time around he’s keeping it.

Only when Harry finished the song did he take his eyes away from Louis, wiping his wet cheeks with his hand quickly before turning to the crowd. And as soon as he did that they let out the loudest cheers of the night, every single person going absolutely crazy or looking at him like he had three heads. But that was just before he heard the countdown from 10, the ball behind him dropping and large numbers flashing on the screen as the clock went down.

Louis blinked a few times, trying to get out of his daze as he heard everyone around him screaming, but all he wanted to do was run into Harry’s arms.

“You want to kiss him don’t you?” Gemma asked as she squeezed his shoulder. “Oh, you want to kiss him so bad right now,” she teased seeing his face.

Louis felt his cheeks heat up, but he still nodded, the younger lad screaming into the microphone with every second that ticked down. And as he watched Harry yeah, he really, really wanted to kiss him when it hit midnight but he was still on stage.

“So go kiss him,” Gemma said through a chuckle, shoving him gently towards the stage.

Louis went wide eyed and quickly stopped himself before he was seen by anyone in the audience, scurrying back to where he knew he couldn’t be seen. But just as he did that confetti went off and everyone was screaming a loud “Happy New Year!!” before he turned to look at Harry, the younger lad already grinning back at him and waving him over.

Louis swallowed thickly as he glanced out towards the crowd and then back at Harry. And just at seeing the younger lad pout at him he started moving forward, his feet carrying him, faster and faster until he was on stage, his arms thrown around Harry’s neck and lips hard against his.

And it was immediate Harry’s hands were gripping Louis’ waist, pulling him impossibly closer and moving their lips together as all camera’s were facing them, every single screen in Times Square zoomed in on the two of them and most likely on every television in America.

But even Louis didn’t care because this was too good.

Harry was smiling so widely against him and even in the freezing cold he had never felt so warm. And for Louis it was over too soon, but he knew they couldn’t snog in front of millions of people. So instead he tucked his head into the younger lad’s neck as Harry hugged him, holding on so tightly like any second he go.

But no one was leaving, not this time around or ever again.

*~*

“Where’s Holden?” Harry slurred into Louis’ mouth, crashing into the hotel room and immediately pushing the older lad’s jacket off him.

Louis breathed deeply against Harry, trying his hardest to calm down but with the alcohol in his system it seemed more and more difficult. “Your mum’s room,” he said, pressing his lips harshly against the younger lad’s. “Got all night, no interruptions.”

Harry hummed through a smirk as he pulled his own jacket off and threw it to the floor, only to kiss Louis back a second later and getting his hands on the older lad’s thighs, him immediately getting his silent message and wrapping his legs around his waist.

And because he was still slightly tipsy he stumbled back until he hit the wall, Louis’ clothed cock pressing into his and making a low moan come from the back of his throat. “God I missed this,” Harry mumbled against him before licking at the older lad’s bottom lip, immediately earning an entrance.

All Louis could do was tug at Harry’s curls with one hand as the other began unbuttoning his shirt. The younger lad gripping at his arse as he stumbled towards the bedroom, their kiss getting messier, their half hards rubbing against each other with each step he took.

He pulled his own shirt off once Harry’s was unbuttoned, throwing it in the hallway and feeling the younger lad’s lips sucking at his neck, fingers pressing into his bum and making him grind against him as he walked.

Louis’ mouth fell open as he felt Harry’s teeth nipping at his neck, planting wet and hot kisses over his skin and creating more markings on him. Harry’s lips only came off him when the younger lad tossed him on the bed, yanking his shirt off and quickly climbing over him to connect their lips again.

Harry’s fingers trailing down Louis’ sides, every dip, every curve he had mesmerized from years before, and it was all still here. The older lad’s smooth skin was the same, the slight belly he had and defined pecs all the same, and it was everything Harry has been dying to get his hands on. But when he got to Louis’ pants button, the older lad gasping against him he noticed something different.

He rubbed his thumb over it, growing confused as it almost felt like a scar. “What’s this?” Harry breathed out as he pulled away from Louis, gently tugging his pants down and eyes shifting just under the band of his boxers.

Louis let out a deep breath as he picked his head off the pillow, following Harry’s gaze. But when he saw what the younger lad was looking at he laid right back down. “C-section scar,” he said quietly.

Harry shifted his eyes back to Louis’, just looking at him for a second before carefully leaning down and connecting their lips. He wanted to say how sorry he was that he couldn’t be there, that now he would do anything to take back the words he said all those years ago. And he knew Louis understood as the older lad kissed him back, how he brushed his fingers through his hair and ran a hand down his bare back.

But when Harry moved his lips off of Louis’ the older lad let out a small whine. He travelled down his chest, sinking his teeth into Louis’ chest before placing a wet kiss over it and moving on.

And all the older lad could do was lay completely still under him, his heaving breaths the only thing heard in the room, his eyes squeezed shut as Harry went lower and lower. But it wasn’t until the younger lad pulled his boxers down slowly, kissing his scar over and over again did Louis’ breath hitch.

“H…” he barely whispered, his hand finding it’s way to the younger lad’s hair. “Love it’s okay,” Louis said softly, knowing how sorry Harry was for everything, but it wasn’t even a second later he felt him shaking his head.

Harry picked his head up as he hovered over Louis, looking down at the older lad and running a gentle thumb over his stubbled cheek. “It’ll never be okay…” he said so quietly he wasn’t sure he heard him. “You’re too good for me Louis.”

Louis bit his lip, trying to keep himself together as he saw how Harry was looking at him. But instead of saying anything he slowly pulled the younger lad down until their lips met in a soft kiss.

And Harry didn’t waste a second before kissing him back, his hand cupping his jaw as he laid down fully on him and hesitantly rolling his hips on top of the older lad’s. The taste of whatever Louis had been drinking on his own tongue, the older lad’s hips circling under his and making their clothed hards meet harshly.

Louis could already feel his pants pressing against his hard, the material between them being too much. He moved under the younger lad, trying to push his pants down his thighs but instead thrusting up towards Harry’s hard and making them both let out low groans.

“Fuck Lou,” Harry breathed into his neck. “Can I take these off?” he asked, already pulling at the older lad’s pants.

Louis nodded quickly, squeezing his eyes shut and throwing his head back against the pillow as Harry yanked his pants off and immediately reached for his boxers. “Wait, wait, wait,” he rushed out, grabbing Harry’s hand to stop him. “Just…” he swallowed thickly. “Not tonight…” Louis said quietly. “I-I mean we can do other stuff but-”

He was cut off my Harry’s lips, the younger lad smiling against him and running gentle fingers along his side. “It’s okay love,” he mumbled against him. “We don’t have to do that yet.”

Louis let out a deep breath as he carded his fingers through Harry’s curls, the younger lad leaning back down towards him to connect their lips.

“Can I at least take my pants off?” Harry chuckled against him.

Louis nodded as he laughed to himself, already reaching for the younger lad’s pants button and popping them open. He could feel Harry let out a breath of relief against him as he pushed them down his thighs.

“God I missed your hands,” Harry mumbled against him. “Missed your fingers, missed touching you, missed your body, just missed you, all of you,” he said, crashing their lips together and grinding against the older lad.

Louis groaned into Harry’s mouth, his toes curling, fingers scratching into the younger lad’s skin.

And they kept it like that, Harry rutting against Louis, tasting each other in a heavy kiss and gripping at each other until bruises would form. But when Louis felt the younger lad hesitantly reach for his boxer’s waistband he nodded against him, breathing into Harry’s mouth heavily and surging his hips up, trying to meet his hand.

“Always eager,” Harry laughed against him, slowly slipping his hand down his boxers before reaching for Louis’ length.

Louis broke the kiss, his head thrown back against the pillow and silent pleas escaping him as he felt Harry’s fingers around him, pumping his painfully hard length. “H, H,” he barely breathed out, the younger lad running his thumb over his tip before moving his wrist faster and faster.

A loud moan escaped Louis, it being years since he’s been touched like this, since it wasn’t his own hand doing the work. Harry’s own hard grinding against his thigh in time with his wrist flicking and the younger lad sucking bruises into his sweaty skin.

“H-Harry, fuck I-I-”

Louis shot into Harry’s hand fast and hard, his cheeks immediately going red and his body stilling as he realized how quickly he let himself go. Even his teenage self would be ashamed at how easily he came undone.

“Oh my God…” he barely whispered, Harry moving to the side of him and reaching down his own boxers for some type of release.

And it only took the younger lad a few pumps before he was shooting into his own hand, Harry letting out a loud groan as he came. But as he was breathing heavily and coming down from his rush he turned his head to look at Louis and when he saw the younger lad he sat up.

“Lou, babe what’s wrong?” he asked quickly.

Louis hid his face in his hands, trying to get over his embarrassment. “I-I’m sorry, I-I didn’t mean to come so quickly… Just… Fuck I’m sorry,” he muttered, turning over so his face was in his pillow.

Harry furrowed his eyebrows, reaching for a tissue on his bedside table before cleaning his hand and rolling Louis over so he was on his back and facing him. “You have nothing to be sorry about,” he said softly, kissing the older lad’s nose and cleaning off his stomach. “Believe it or not but I was a second away from coming before you. I just always like you finishing first though, gotta make sure you’re satisfied,” Harry said through a quiet laugh before kissing Louis’ lips gently.

Louis couldn’t help himself as he smiled against the younger lad and ran his hand down his back. “Gimme a couple minutes and we’ll go for round two. I feel like I owe you a little something,” he said, looking up as Harry hovered over him and wiggling his eyebrows playfully.

“Oh no,” Harry said through a smirk as he shook his head and attached his lips to Louis’ neck. “All you need to do is lay there,” he said, nipping at the older lad’s skin, “and I’ll do all the work.”

And Louis didn’t need to be told twice, stilling at Harry’s touch and letting the younger lad take him over.

*~*

When the two woke up in morning it was to someone clearing their throat, both of them slowly opening their eyes before detangling themselves from each other’s arms and  quickly sitting up, seeing Clara standing there with a smirk and their clothes in her hands.

“Well good morning,” she said tossing the clothes she found in the living room on the floor. “I wish I didn’t have to do this but I’ve been banging on your door for 10 minutes and you have to be at Good Morning America in an hour,” Clara said over her shoulder, already heading out of the room.

Harry just threw himself back against the bed as Louis’ cheeks were bright red, him clearing his throat slightly and swinging his legs over the side of the mattress.

“Hey,” Harry said softly, reaching for the older lad and placing a gentle hand on his back. “You okay?”

“Oh, you know just extremely embarrassed, but other than that I’m great,” Louis said through a quiet laugh as he scratched the back of his neck sheepishly.

Harry bit his lip, trying to keep in his own laugh as he kissed Louis’ shoulder and got out of bed. “Don’t worry, she won’t say anything to anyone. That’s basically what I pay her for,” he said looking through the drawers for outfits for the both of them.

Louis hummed, it still being kind of weird that Clara saw them like that. But he didn’t say anything else, instead putting on the clothes Harry passed him and made quick work of getting ready for the day.

It was too early for any sane person and he felt bad for Robin and Anne who had to get Holden up. But Anne has had two kids before, she could probably handle it.

And 20 minutes later the two were dressed and ready to go, pleasantly surprised to see Anne, Robin and Niall waiting in the lobby.

“Whoa Lou, get busy last night?” Niall asked through a barking laugh as he pointed to the older lad’s neck.

Louis hates everyone, the world is against him he’s convinced. “Where’s our son?” he muttered, pulling his collar closer to his neck.

Anne rolled Holden over, the toddler fast asleep in his stroller. Both Louis and Harry immediately kneeling down towards him and kissing his head. The 3 year old didn’t even wake up, instead mumbled sleepily to himself as his daddies kissed him.

And he didn’t wake up even when they got to the studio, still asleep as Louis carried him inside Harry’s dressing room and placing him down gently on the couch.

Everyone was waiting in the room until it was time for Harry to go on, thankfully a big breakfast was there for them and no one wasted a second before digging into it.

“So mate,” Niall said quietly to Harry as he glanced over at Louis across the room. “You two get it on last night or what?” he asked, ignoring the make up artist’s shocked face.

Harry shrugged, a small smirk coming to him as he closed his eyes and felt some brush run over his face. “We didn’t do it, but a few handy’s and blowjobs made for a pretty great night,” he muttered.

“Oooh get it H,” Niall said, bumping the younger lad’s fist with his own. “Even left your mark on him, nice touch,” he said through a chuckle, the make up artist looking at him wide eyed again.

“Most of them can’t be seen,” Harry said, winking at the Irish lad. “It was definitely a great way to start the New Year.”

“Harry,” Louis warned, plopping himself on the couch next to his sleeping son, able to hear the younger lad from across the room.

Harry let out a small laugh as he glanced over his shoulder and turned back around to get his makeup done. “Sorry love.”

Louis hummed, taking a big bite into his bagel before rubbing a gentle hand over Holden’s back.

They were there for about an hour before Harry got called to get ready, both his and Louis’ nerves picking up at what he was about to do.

Holden had finally woken up when they were all waiting on the side of the stage, slowly opening his eyes and wrapping his arms around his daddy’s neck. He felt both his papa and daddy kiss his head as he woke up, but when he really opened his eyes he could see his papa waking onto a stage and heard a bunch of people clapping.

Harry could barely swallow as he stepped up to shake the interviewer’s hand, his breathing coming out loud and heavy as he tried to calm down.

“I have been waiting too long for this moment, my goodness it’s really Harry Styles!” The interviewer, Joan, said. “First off I just want to say a huge congratulations on your performance last night, I don’t think there was a single person not in tears at that last song.”

“Yeah even I got a little worked up,” Harry said through a quiet laugh.

“You should make that available on Itunes because I know a lot of people that want to buy it,” Joan said, smiling way too much for it being this early. “And your other song, Hold On Forever that you performed will be on your upcoming album, that’s getting released this month,” she said, getting a nod from the younger lad. “Now I think we’re all a bit curious, what’s that name of this album? You’ve been keeping it a secret for quite some time now.”

Harry hummed, a small smile coming to him as he flickered his eyes up to the side of the stage, immediately finding Louis’. “It’s called Coming Home and it’ll be out on January 25th.”

“Interesting title, any reason in particular you chose it?”

“Yeah, while I started writing the songs to go on this album I uhm, well I came back to the person that makes me feel like I’m at home,” he said sheepishly.

There were some “awws” from the audience and even from where Harry was sitting he could see Louis’ face reddening.

“I always knew you were a romantic,” Joan said teasingly.

“Well have you listened to my first album?” Harry asked with raised eyebrows, that being one love song after another. “Most of my songs are actually about the same person, and they kind of follow our relationship,” he said quietly.

“And would this be that person? Louis right?”

Harry looked to the screen where a picture of him and Louis kissing last night on stage popped up. “Uhm yeah…” he said, feeling his cheeks heat up.

“We haven’t heard any confirmations yet but there are some rumors you guys are dating,” Joan said silently asking something.

Harry bit his lip as he glanced at Louis. They weren’t necessarily dating yet, but it would be easier to confirm it now than create confusion and saying they weren’t. “Yeah, we’re seeing each other,” he said through a small smile.

“And he has a son,” Joan said, a picture of Holden, Louis and Harry coming onto the screen next.

Harry let out a deep breath, knowing what was coming next. He knew Clara had set up these particular questions and that it was like a script. All he had to do was follow it.

“Now we know you and Louis used to date years back, but he didn’t have a son then,” Joan said slowly. “And I know there have also been a few rumors going around about him and who his father may be, have you heard these before?”

Harry cleared his throat as he sat up a bit straighter in his chair and nodded. “Uhm yes I have,” he said quietly, wiping his sweaty hands on his jeans.

“And?” Joan asked with raised eyebrows.

“The rumors are true,” he said, his eyes moving to Louis, the older lad holding Holden tightly. “Holden is uhm, he’s mine and Louis’ son.”

The room seemed like it froze, everyone dead silent as Joan looked at him softly and nodded. And already Harry knew articles were being written, magazines coming out with their latest exclusive and gossip channels would be spreading this like wildfire.

They talked about Holden and Louis until it was time for him to go up and perform his songs.

Harry tried to explain all the miscommunication without saying certain details. He made it out like it was all his fault for not being there because he couldn’t let anyone say anything bad about Louis, he wouldn’t let that happen. And he talked about what him and his two favorite boys have been up to these past couple months. How they completely changed his life and he wouldn’t want it any other way. And by the time he was done telling stories about pumpkin carving, sleepovers and everything in between he had to perform his songs.

He played one after the other, his eye catching Louis’ every now and then, and it was impossible to miss the older lad’s small smile.

By now the room wasn’t nearly as tense and both Harry and Louis thought maybe this wouldn’t be so bad, maybe people wouldn’t be judging them or printing out false stories about them.

“Now this next song I have is actually my single, you all get to hear it here first!” Harry said, earning a loud cheer from the audience. “I wrote this for a very important person, one of my favorite people actually,” he said through a quiet laugh. “This is [One Call Away ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7-NePX4DE1A)and Holden this is for you buddy.”

Harry looked over at Holden, the toddler immediately perking up as he heard his name and saw his papa sitting at the piano. The entire time he played his father was looking at him, singing to him with a wide smile on his face. And when Harry was done with that one he almost wanted to run to the side of the stage, seeing Holden wiping away his tears that fell down his cheeks. But he couldn’t, he still had one more song.

For the first time in over four years he played Leave Your Lover, and the crowd went absolutely crazy just at hearing the first couple notes. But when the song was over not only was Holden crying, but now Louis was too. And Harry always said, since his very first stadium show that if he could make at least two people cry then it was a show well done.

All I Want Playlist

 

[Let Me Love You](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_eTytNgcYOk) [Ne-Yo-Glee Version](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_eTytNgcYOk) 3:38

[Leave Your Lover](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M8pK3KBwC84) [Sam Smith](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M8pK3KBwC84) 3:26

[The Otherside](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l4Lt4zlCb-M) [Taylor Ward](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l4Lt4zlCb-M) 2:58

[Give Your Heart A Break](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XKiUcTvr-TQ) [Glee Version](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XKiUcTvr-TQ) 3:29

[Friends](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Myaod6GC4U) [Ed Sheeran](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Myaod6GC4U) 3:09

[Make You Feel My Love](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jNBmoj32pq4) [Adele](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jNBmoj32pq4) 3:15

[Tonight](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k-6WAexAPP4) [John Legend Ft. Ludacris](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k-6WAexAPP4) 3:57

[Sometime Around Midnight](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m53cWa-CdUg) [The Airborne Toxic Event](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m53cWa-CdUg) 5:03

[Kiss Me](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MXL8BEPl-Nw) [Ed Sheeran](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MXL8BEPl-Nw) 4:35

[Infinity](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QaY1ezWUhi0) [One Direction- Slow Mode](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QaY1ezWUhi0%20%0A%0A) 5:24

[I’m Gonna Find Another You](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2EZWzq6kXVc) [John Mayer](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2EZWzq6kXVc) 2:43

[Comfortable](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BroiKmNGbfI) [John Mayer](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BroiKmNGbfI) 5:02

[Where Do Broken Heart Go](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6QpPMbzVqic) [One Direction](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6QpPMbzVqic) 3:45

[No Good in Goodbye](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZRNTOabGsDk) [The Script](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZRNTOabGsDk) 3:58

[More Time](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cnGFGkP5Enw) [Needtobreath](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cnGFGkP5Enw) 4:22

Shattered O.A.R 3:57

I’m A Mess Ed Sheeran 4:08

[I Almost Do](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ij1xADeobsg) [Taylor Swift](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ij1xADeobsg) 3:59

[Just A Little Bit Of Your Heart](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F0-50nRyuy8) [Ariana Grande](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F0-%0A%0A50nRyuy8) 3:57

[Don’t Let Me Go](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bEBzek5Hi_s%20) [Harry Styles](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bEBzek5Hi_s) 3:50

[The One](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HJ6PfUZyPGY) Kodaline 4:01

[All I Want](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cqJoVlnmdFQ) [Kodaline](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cqJoVlnmdFQ%20%0A%0A) 4:57

[The One](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K75A16HRdBY) [Sam Smith](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K75A16HRdBY) 3:08

[Make It To Me](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nwxaK3IUlag) [Sam Smith](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nwxaK3IUlag) 3:09

[Lay Me Down](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hQNNm0acHE4) [Sam Smith](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hQNNm0acHE4) 4:01

[I Was Made for Loving You](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XkZaZWsGAg4%20%0A%0A) [Tory Kelly ft. Ed Sheeran](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XkZaZWsGAg4) 3:07

[Faithfully](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ALph_u2iee8) [Boyce Avenue Cover](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ALph_u2iee8) 4:49

[Auld Lang Syne](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ibTYf0PZZtI) [Lea Michele](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ibTYf0PZZtI) 3:29

[This is the New Year](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7VS_zF87YGo) [A Great Big World](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7VS_zF87YGo) 3:17

[Hold On Forever](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JESuKSbqkIc) [Rob Thomas](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JESuKSbqkIc) 3:35

[One Call Away](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sBUMSCebKPs) [Charlie Puth](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sBUMSCebKPs) 3:28

[Code by Layouttesst](http://layouttesst.livejournal.com/profile)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Congratulations on finishing this monster of a chapter !! Sorry if it's awful and I'm so so sorry it was a late update, but clearly this is longer than most chapters so that's why it took so long :/ Anyway, thoughts on the chapter ?? Ask on my [tumblr](http://lhstylinson9193.tumblr.com/) when I'll be updating, I always answer. Comments are more than loved and kudos are also cool, thanks !!


	11. Chapter 11

“Cut! Cut!!” Louis yelled, the kids on the stage freezing where they were. “You guys, c’mon,” he muttered, pinching the bridge of his nose and trying desperately to calm down. “We’ve been over this so many times, the cues never change, the lines are the same. I don’t know why this one scene is so difficult.”

“Mate,” Niall said, putting his arm down and setting his baton on the music stand in front of him. “The amount of time it takes Sara to go down the stairs is too long before she has to sing, it throws everything off. My guys are playing before she even gets a quarter of the way down, and we can only play that riff for so long before it gets old,” he said, glancing at his orchestra kids in the pit in front of him.

Louis let out a deep breath as he nodded, noticing that himself. “Sara why is it taking a while to get down the stairs? Are you nervous about falling? Are they wobbly?”

“Uhm… Both,” Sara said quietly. “I mean I’ll be wearing heels in the actual performance and whenever I walk down them they move.”

“Fine, we’ll take 45 minutes for dinner then and I’ll fix the stairs,” Louis said, already heading towards the stage stairs and climbing up them.

The kids let out grateful breaths of relief, having been rehearsing non stop since school was let out. But this is what they get with the musical being just five days away, a little something Louis likes to call hell week. And for him it was definitely pure hell.

Something was always breaking or lost, a person went missing when they’re scene came on, or someone missed a cue, be it the stage crew or actors. The only thing that went perfectly was the orchestra and that was because of Niall. Louis was sure that without the Irish lad he would be a right mess and pulling his hair out by now.

“Hey Lou, you got it?” Niall asked as he walked up to the older lad, him trying to drill a few more screws into the staircase.

“Yeah,” Louis breathed out, drilling one more screw into the staircase before making sure the entire thing was stable. “I swear this show is going to be a disaster, I can feel it.”

“Oh stop that,” Niall said as he rolled his eyes. “Everything is going perfectly, you’re just overreacting.”

Alright, fine, maybe Louis got exceptionally stressed this time of year, but he had the right to. This was his show, he was in charge of everything and if it went bad it reflected on him. Every year it was the same thing, but Louis swears every year he gets worse and worse with nerves, trying to put out the best show possible. His very first year he just wanted to put on a show, but now he had a reputation to uphold.

“Are you not having dinner?” Louis asked, wanting to get off the subject.

“Yeah, of course, but I was waiting for you,” Niall said, offering the older lad a hand up.

Louis flashed the younger lad a small smile before looking out towards the seats in the auditorium, the kids already settled and eating their dinners. “Well I was in a rush this morning and didn’t have time to pack anything. I think I have some crisps in my bag though.”

“Lou that’s not a dinner,” Niall muttered as they walked down the stage stairs. “I’ll give you some of mine, you can’t go all day not eating.”

Louis shook his head, just about to say something before one of the students stopped him.

“Hey Mr.Tomlinson you recognize this?”

Louis looked over to Michael as he took a seat in one of the front row cushioned chairs next to Niall. But he nearly groaned as he heard the teenager plucking away at a guitar and singing one of the new songs off of Harry’s album.

The younger lad’s full album wasn’t out for another week, but he’s already released a few songs and the one Michael was playing was one of them. And of course all of his students just had to give him grief about every single song because there was no doubt that they were about him.

“You’re just a little flat there mate.”

Every single head in the auditorium turned to the back of the room, half of them gasping, some others screaming and Louis smiling widely at the sight of the curly haired lad.

“Not too bad though, just use that diaphragm a bit more and you’ll be perfect,” Harry said through a quiet laugh as he walked down the aisle.

Louis glanced over to Michael, the teenager’s jaw dropped and eyes wide as he saw Harry. But what he wasn’t expecting was for the younger lad to actually walk up to Michael and take the guitar from him.

“Here, I’ll show ya how it’s done,” Harry said, slinging the strap over his shoulder and looking over to Louis.

And just from that face Louis knew where this was going, it not even being a second later Harry was picking at the guitar, starting the same song Michael was playing before walking towards him. (A/N I Want To Write You A Song by One Direction. Sorry, there aren't any good links to it !!)

“Harry,” he warned, but just as he said it the younger lad started singing, coming even closer to him.

The kids and even Niall were in a laughing fit as they watched Louis get up from his seat and try to walk away from the curly haired lad. But Harry followed right after him, singing his song and making the older lad blush more and more with each second that passed.

Some of the students were even singing along, unable to contain themselves as they watched their teacher walk all over the auditorium, trying to get away from Harry who stayed right on his tail, unable wipe the smile off his face.

And when Louis saw some of the kids recording them he desperately wanted to groan, but instead just felt his face heat up even more, no doubt in his mind that at this point he was bright red. Harry was following right after him, singing one of his songs that was too cute for words and there was absolutely nothing Louis could do to stop any of this.

When it did stop though all the kids clapped and cheered, making Harry bow and Louis slap his arm.

“I just serenaded you, there is no reason for you to hit me,” Harry said, his dimples popping out as he handed the guitar back to Michael.

Louis rolled his eyes playfully, noticing the not so subtle looks of everyone in the room watching them. “What are you even doing here?”

“Well hi to you too love,” Harry laughed before pecking the older lad’s cheek quickly. “I was just coming back from the gym and I remembered you didn’t pack a dinner before you left the house this morning and I wanted to bring you some food.”

“You live together?!” Michael asked wide eyed.

“No.”

“Basically.”

Louis narrowed his eyes at Harry, the younger lad shrugging because it was pretty much true. There was never a time they weren’t sleeping at each other’s places, it being like this since they came back from New York City two weeks ago. And when the kids looked over to Niall, silently asking which was true Louis couldn’t help but grumble to himself as he saw the Irish lad nodding and snickering.

“We don’t live together!” Louis groaned, rubbing his hands over his face. “Mr.Styles has his place and I have mine and that’s that. I shouldn’t even being talking about this with you guys.”

“Mr.Tomlinson he’s your boyfriend, just say Harry. That mister stuff is weird.”

Louis looked over to Sara, clenching his jaw as this really shouldn’t be something his students should be invested in. They weren’t even dating, they haven’t even been on a date yet because of how busy they’ve both been, Harry with his album coming out and the musical right around the corner. There was no time for dates, Louis not even able to remember the last time he went anywhere besides his house, Harry’s flat or the high school.

“Here, I just came to drop this off,” Harry said quietly, the older lad clearly stressed.

Louis nibbled on his bottom lip as he saw the container Harry was passing him before the younger lad picked up his gym bag. “H I’m sorry,” he said quietly. “I really do appreciate this, you have no idea. I just… I feel like any second I’m gonna explode with how much I still have to do.”

“I know love, it’s okay,” Harry said softly, pulling Louis into his chest before kissing his hair. “When you’re done here come back to mine and we’ll have some tea, maybe sneak some snacks from Holden’s treat cabinet and I’ll rub your back. Sound good?”

Louis hummed into Harry’s neck, wishing they could do that right now. And with Holden sleeping at Zayn’s tonight they were guaranteed some quiet time. Louis doesn’t think he’s ever been so grateful for Zayn asking to take the toddler, complaining that he hasn’t seen enough of him lately.

“I’ll be over in about two hours, okay?” he asked quietly, slightly pulling away from the younger lad and running a gentle hand down his chest. “And make sure you shower, you reek of sweat.”

Harry rolled his eyes as he saw Louis laughing. “You don’t want me to wait till you come over to shower?” he whispered in his ear. “I’ve been working on my endurance at the gym… Maybe put that to use tonight?”

Louis stilled for a second, swallowing thickly and carefully looking around, thankfully none of his students were paying any attention to them. “Uhm yeah, yeah wait for me,” he barely breathed out, earning a small smirk from the younger lad. “Make that an hour actually, I’ll cut rehearsal short.”

“Mr.Tomlinson that’s not very professional of you,” Harry teased, wrapping his arms just a bit tighter around him.

At this point Louis couldn’t care about professionalism, all he wanted to do was go to Harry’s flat and have the younger lad get him off so hard he forgot his own name. “I’ll see you in an hour, make sure you have that lavender lotion I like.”

“Already have it waiting on the bathroom counter,” Harry hummed.

Louis almost wanted to groan at that. Maybe he’d just tell everyone to go home now so he could leave with Harry, but then he remembered he has a show in five days. So instead he stood on his toes and kissed the younger lad quickly, whispering one more goodbye before he watched him leave the auditorium.

And as soon as Harry left did he call for everyone to get back into place and quickly ate the food the younger lad got him.

He watched the kids run through the rest of the musical, pointing out small details here and there, but after an hour he called it a night.

Louis didn’t even say goodbye as he pulled his jacket on and slung his messenger bag over his shoulder, his only thoughts being that Harry was waiting for him with a shower and a bottle of lotion.

*~*

Harry had to keep in a laugh as he heard the older lad under him. Louis’ hair was matted to his head and he was blissed out from the blowjob he got in the shower, but like every time Harry rubs his back he was moaning as his hands worked over his tense muscles. He’s been rubbing Louis’ back nearly every night for the past week because of how stressed he’s been and every night there are new knots Harry has to work out.

“I swear opening night I’m going to be a right mess,” Louis mumbled into the pillow, his eyes shut and breathing coming out slow as Harry worked his fingers over him. “Maybe during intermission I’ll steal you and make you do this so I don’t pull my hair out.”

Harry slowed his hands for a second, sitting back on Louis’ bum and letting out a deep breath. “Babe listen I uhm… I have to talk to you about that,” he said quietly.

Louis picked his head off the pillow and furrowed his eyebrows as he turned to look at the younger lad. “What? Opening night?”

“Yeah...” Harry said, biting his lip and letting out a quiet breath. “I have to go to LA for an award show tomorrow…”

Louis froze for a second, his mouth opening and closing before he shook his head angrily and pushed on Harry, wanting him to get off him.

“Lou I swear I’ve been trying to get out of it for weeks, they just told me today that I have to go because I already missed the AMA’s,” Harry said, settling next to the older lad and looking at him softly.

“Harry I don’t care if you’ve been trying to get out of it for weeks, this isn’t okay,” Louis said, straining not to raise his voice. “You do realize the reason we broke up was because we didn’t talk to each other and look, you’re doing it all over again.”

“Well I just thought I wouldn’t actually have to go, I didn’t think-”

“Harry it doesn’t matter!” Louis said frustratedly. “If you go or don’t go you should tell me! You can’t just spring shit like this on me, even when we were dating you knew this!!”

Harry bit his lip as he looked at the older lad, him clearly more than mad but trying to calm down. And he knew he messed up, but he was almost 100% sure that he wouldn’t have to go. That was until Clara called him just before Louis got to his place and told him he had to make an appearance and do promo for his album.

“How long will you be gone?” Louis breathed out as he rubbed his hands over his face.

Harry looked down to his lap, scratching the back of his neck and trying to figure out how to say this so Louis wouldn’t get even more upset with him. But there was no way that the older lad wouldn’t with what he was going to tell him.

Louis shook his head as he swung his legs over the bed and stood up, immediately looking for his pants that were somewhere on the floor.

“What are you doing?” Harry asked quietly, pushing himself off the bed and reaching for Louis’ arm to stop him.

“You don’t want to talk to me, fine, I’m going home,” he said, pulling his arm out of Harry’s grasp and pulling his jeans on.

“Louis please stop,” Harry nearly begged as he saw the older lad looking for his shirt. “I get that you’re upset about me not being able to go to opening night and-”

“Harry it’s not that!” Louis snapped. “It’s that you didn’t talk to me about it!! I’m not doing the same shit twice!!” he yelled.

“Yeah but you walking out the door isn’t helping anyone either,” Harry muttered.

Louis looked up at the younger lad and he can’t remember the last time he wanted to hit him so bad. “Then talk to me,” he said through gritted teeth.

“A week,” Harry said, shifting his gaze to the floor. “I’ll be gone a week for the show and then interviews.”

Louis kept his eyes on Harry, just watching him for a moment and trying to figure out why the younger lad thought it would be okay to not tell him about this.

“Louis I found out minutes before you got here, I swear,” Harry said quietly. “It’s not like I wasn’t telling you for a reason, I just thought I didn’t have to go.”

“Well you should’ve said something when they first brought it up to you,” Louis breathed out as he crossed his arms over his chest. “If we want us to work we need to talk to each other. You’re a lot more famous than when we were dating and we have Holden now… Things are more complicated and if we keep doing this over and over again we’ll fall apart, but it’ll be so much worse this time…”

Harry bit his lip as he nodded to himself, knowing that Louis was more than terrified that they would self destruct like last time. And he couldn’t keep letting the older lad live in this fear, wouldn’t let them mess this up all over again.

“I really am sorry Louis,” he said softly. “I swear, from now on even if there’s a possibility of me going somewhere I’ll tell you.”

Louis shifted his weight on his feet, his eyes locked on the ground as he nodded to himself. And he only picked his head up when he felt Harry’s hand on him, his fingers molding to the curve of his waist and squeezing gently.

“Please stay tonight,” Harry barely whispered. “I don’t want to leave with you still upset with me, just stay and we can talk.”

Louis let out a quiet breath but nodded anyway as he walked over to the bed and took a seat on it. “What time do you leave tomorrow?” he asked, trying to figure out what to say to Holden about Harry leaving for a little bit, knowing the toddler would be more than upset about it.

“At 3pm,” Harry said quietly, taking a seat next to the older lad. “I wanted to at least be able to spend some time with Holden.”

Louis rubbed his hands over his face, hating that all of this at once was getting thrown at him. But they still talked about how tomorrow would go, what Harry would do with Holden and when Louis could see him before he goes. There was just enough time between school and rehearsal that Louis could actually see Harry off at the airport, but it was the fact that he was leaving at all that was hard.

And they talked and talked until even Louis was tired of talking. So by the time they had everything cleared up and a plan made Louis was snoring into Harry’s neck, the younger lad’s head resting on his as they laid on the bed and holding each other like any second one of them was going to leave. But that’s the thing, Harry was leaving and Louis knew it was only a matter of time before he started touring, before more interviews came up and he’d be gone longer. The only thought that calmed him down though was that Harry would always be coming back, no matter what.

*~*

Louis held onto Holden tightly, the 3 year old gripping his neck and resting his head on his shoulder as camera flashes went off all around them. Harry’s arm was firm around his waist, his head down and hand up to shield them from the rapid lights, but it seemed as though nothing helped.

He could hear Holden let out a quiet whimper as he hid his face further into his neck and the only thing Louis wanted to do was get out of there. They were already moving as fast as they could and he could see it now, where security was set up and no one but them were allowed through.

“It’s okay buddy, almost there,” Louis said quietly, pressing a kiss to Holden’s head and rubbing his back.

He knew with the news about Harry being Holden’s father broke out paps and every media outlet was trying to find them. This is the first time they’ve actually really been out since that interview and it was clear just how desperately people wanted to talk to Harry.

They were screaming questions, following after them with cameras and trying to get them to say something, just anything. But Harry’s bodyguards were pushing back on them, making sure they couldn’t come close and only once they were actually inside the airport did it all stop.

“C’mere big guy, it’s okay,” Harry said softly, reaching for Holden and the toddler immediately wrapping his arms around his neck. “I’m so sorry buddy, but it’s over alright?” he asked, kissing the 3 year old’s head over and over again. “You did so good, you were such a big boy.”

Louis let out a quiet breath as he looked at the two, Harry rubbing Holden’s back before shifting his gaze to him, mouthing a quiet “are you okay?” and earning a nod from the older lad.

“Harry we need to keep moving.”

Harry nodded at his bodyguard, shifting his bag on his shoulder and adjusting Holden on his hip before taking Louis’ hand and following after his security. He kept Louis close and Holden closer, holding onto the two of them for dear life as they walked through the airport.

“Papa no go,” Holden whispered into his neck.

Harry bit his lip as he looked down at the 3 year old, Holden’s big green eyes focused right back at him. “Papa doesn’t want to go buddy, but it’s only for a little bit, I’ll be right back.”

“No go,” Holden mumbled again, his lip quivering as he wrapped his arms around his papa impossibly tighter.

Harry felt his heart break as he heard Holden and felt tears on his neck, and all he could do was pull him closer to his chest, kiss his head and promise that everything will be okay, that he’ll be back before he knows it.

When they got to where they had to say goodbye Harry didn’t waste a second before dropping his bag off his shoulder and wrapping both arms around the toddler, only to feel Holden crying against him.

“Buddy please,” he nearly begged, blinking back his own tears. “Please don’t cry, it’s okay.”

“No okay!” Holden cried into his neck. “You go bye bye and I miss you, n-no okay.”

Harry shushed Holden, rubbing his back and kissing his head over and over again as he kneeled down and placed him on the ground. Even when he did that though the toddler refused to let go of him, crying into his neck and hiccuping against him.

“C’mere, look at this,” Harry said softly, just barely pulling away from the 3 year old and reaching into his pocket. “You see this?” he asked, showing Holden the pocket watch him and Louis gave him for Christmas.

Holden wiped his wet eyes, one little hand still holding on tightly to his papa’s shirt so he wouldn’t go anywhere as he nodded to himself. “Give papa for Christmas,” he sniffled out.

“That’s right and it’s gonna stay on London time so no matter where I am in the world I can look at it and know what you’re doing,” Harry said gently, wiping away Holden’s tears that refused to stop falling. “Whether you’re sleeping or eating dinner or at daycare playing, I can look at this and know. You’ll always be with me buddy, and I’ll always be coming back.”

Holden let out a few hiccups, trying to calm down as he looked at his papa’s watch. “Me and daddy always there,” he said quietly, pointing at the picture in the watch.

“Exactly,” Harry said, wrapping his arms back around Holden and kissing his head. “And you can call me anytime, I’ll always answer, okay?”

The toddler nodded against him as he hugged him back and sniffled into his neck. “I love you papa,” he barely whispered.

Harry felt his throat tighten as he heard that, his eyes squeezing shut and a few tears escaping him. He pulled Holden impossibly closer to him, trying not to start sobbing as that was the first time the 3 year old has ever said that to him, and he would be lying if his heart wasn’t swelling at those words.

“I love you too buddy,” he managed out, trying to hold back his tears. “I love you so much, I’ll be back soon, okay?”

“O-okay,” Holden nodded against him, pulling away slightly just to kiss his papa’s cheek and wrap his arms back around his neck. “I call you later, it okay.”

Harry wished he could hold onto him forever, that he could pack Holden up and take him with him wherever he goes. He knew he couldn’t though, knew that soon his bodyguards were going to say he had to hurry it up and that he had to go, but there was still one more person he had to say goodbye to.

Harry gently released Holden, giving him one more kiss before standing up and looking to Louis.

The older lad was already watching him, his own eyes pooling with tears and biting his lip so they wouldn’t fall. And Harry could see it, could see how hard he was trying not to break down, to keep himself together.

“Lou,” he said softly, the older lad immediately shaking his head and looking away from him so he wouldn’t cry.

And Harry remembers this so well, remembers how hard goodbyes were, how every single time there were tears, how his heart broke at the sight of Louis when he had to walk away from him.

“Love,” Harry said quietly, taking a step towards the older lad and gently cupping his cheek, Holden’s little arms wrapped around his leg and refusing to let go. “Just a week, please, it’s okay,” he whispered, Louis still looking away from him but Harry could see a tear rolling down his cheek.

“Harry we need to-”

“Just a minute,” Harry stopped his bodyguard, not going anywhere until he talked to Louis. “Love please,” he nearly begged. “Please don’t make this harder than it has to be,” he said, pulling the older lad into his chest and immediately feeling Louis’ arms wrap around him, his head on his shoulder and tears on his neck.

“Y-you know how much I hate you right?”

Harry tried to hold back a smile as he heard the older lad, squeezing him and burying his nose in Louis’ hair. “You tell me at least once a day, of course I know.”

“Good,” Louis said as he sniffled to himself. “I’m… Well I’m really gonna miss you,” he said quietly, just barely pulling away and looking up at the younger lad.

Harry bit his lip as he wiped away Louis’ tears with his thumb, trying to hold himself together but feeling like any second he was going to crack. “I’ll miss you too,” he barely whispered. “Just a week, okay?” he said, pressing his lips against the older lad’s temple and pulling him back into his chest. “We’ve done much longer, we can do a week.”

Louis almost wanted to roll his eyes as he heard that, but instead nodded against Harry’s chest and looked up at him, tipping his head up and silently asking the younger lad for something. And it wasn’t even a second later Harry was kissing him, his lips heavy against his own and fingers running through his hair it made Louis want to melt.

It was this he was going to miss, what he always used to miss when Harry went away. Being in his arms, feeling his lips against his own and having those heart skipping a beat moments. But it was only going to be a week, and Louis was sure that he could do this.

And it was only when one of Harry’s bodyguards cleared their throat did the two release each other. Their lips sore and breaths coming out shaky as they rested their foreheads together and Harry pecked his lips one more time.

“I’ll call you as soon as I land,” he said quietly, gently running his fingers through the older lad’s hair.

Louis bit his lip as he nodded, slowly unwrapping his arms from Harry and reaching for Holden, the toddler still clinging to the younger lad’s leg. “No matter the time I’ll pick up.”

“And same goes for me,” Harry said softly. “Don’t even look at the clock, just call me.”

Louis just nodded again, rubbing Holden’s back as he felt him hiccupping against his leg and rubbing his nose on his jeans.

He saw how sadly Harry was looking at him, how he was fighting himself to move from his spot, but when his bodyguard reached for his arm the younger lad was forced to move. The bulky men had already grabbed his bags and were clearly desperate to get going, and even when they started walking Harry away he didn’t turn around.

The younger lad kept his eyes on the two Tomlinsons, his tears slipping from him and deep breaths coming out as he refused to break his gaze. And both Louis and Holden watched him walk away, the toddler waving at his papa and trying to hold back his own tears as he felt his daddy pick him up and hug him.

Harry only turned around when his bodyguards made him, his gaze shifting over his shoulder to them almost every other second until he saw them wave a final goodbye before he turned a corner and couldn’t see them anymore.

It wasn’t even the start of day one without them, and already Harry was missing the two more than anything. So he didn’t know how the next hour would go, let alone the next week.

*~*

Louis ran a tired hand over his face, his head pounding and his hand was hurting from how much he’s been writing but this is just what comes along during hell week. The musical takes over his life, he gets behind in grading and no matter how much sleep he gets he wakes up exhausted. And now that Harry isn’t here his back is aching, and there was no faking that he missed the younger lad. Even his students at this point had picked up his slight moodiness, but it’s only been four days and it feels like it’s been a lifetime.

It was only a second later though Louis perked his head up, his phone ringing from his pocket and of course as he pulled it out it was impossible to stop his smile at seeing Harry’s name flash across the screen.

“Right on time,” he chuckled into the phone, the younger lad’s quiet laugh coming from the speaker and God would Louis do anything just hear that laugh in person again.

“Well it’s bedtime isn’t it? Can’t be late for that.”

Louis glanced over at the clock his eyes nearly going wide as he saw what time it was and that Holden wasn’t even pajamas yet. “I swear if you didn’t remind me I would’ve forgotten,” he said, pushing himself off the couch and heading up the stairs to the play room.

As soon as Holden saw he was on the phone he nearly threw Rob off his lap and lunged at him, trying to take the phone from him so he could talk to his papa. But his daddy said he had to get his pajamas on and brush his teeth first, and Louis swears he’s never seen his son run to his room to get ready for bed so fast.

“How has today been? Any better?” Harry asked quietly.

“Oh of course not, what a crazy question,” Louis said through a stressed filled laugh, running his hand over his face. “I swear everything I fix for the musical just breaks again, and Holden is… Well it’s more than obvious he misses you if his mood is anything to go by.”

He could hear the younger lad letting out a deep breath on the other side of the phone, it being no secret how awful he felt about the toddler’s mood change since he’s been gone.

“I want to come home,” Harry barely whispered.

“I know you do H,” Louis said softly. “Just three more days, yeah? We’re already more than halfway there, it’s okay.”

There was a beat of silence on the phone, Harry swallowing thickly and Louis biting his lip, not sure what to say. But they didn’t have to say anything to know what the other was thinking, how they were feeling.

“Daddy phone!!” Holden said, running back towards his father dressed in his pajamas and teeth brushed.

“Get in bed and I’ll give you the phone,” Louis said softly, leading his son across the hall and helping him in bed.

Holden jumped into his bed and as soon as his daddy put his phone on speaker he took it from him. “Papa!!”

“Hey buddy,” Harry said gently into the phone. “I don’t think I’ve ever been so happy to hear your voice,” he said through a quiet laugh.

“Papa I miss you,” Holden said as he bit his lip. “It too many days and no see you.”

“I know big guy, I… I really really miss you too,” Harry said, sounding like he was doing everything in his power to keep himself together.

“So come home.”

And Louis could see it, could see Holden a second away from crying, much like he does nearly every night since Harry’s been gone. More than anything he wished he could help him, wish he could make this easier, and Louis only wondered how much harder it will be when Harry will be gone for much longer. When it’s not just a week, but a month.

“H I wish I could but-”

“Papa y-you can,” Holden said quietly as he wiped his wet eyes with his little hand. “You go on big plane and come home and tuck i-in bed,” he sniffled to himself. “You promise you always tuck in bed but you no here and y-you no keep promise.”

“C’mere big guy,” Louis said softly, pulling his son into his chest and feeling the toddler’s tears on his neck.

And if that wasn’t it there was no denying Harry was crying on the other end, the younger lad sniffling to himself and letting out shaky breaths.

“H papa is just tucking you in a different way,” Louis said, rubbing the 3 year old’s back gently. “He’s still saying goodnight to you and telling you how much he loves you, it’s okay buddy.”

“N-no okay,” Holden hiccupped into his daddy’s neck. “Want papa home.”

Louis let out a quiet breath as he kissed and hugged Holden, trying to do anything to calm him down. And he only wished he could jump through the phone to do the same thing for Harry, wished he didn’t feel his own tears pooling in eyes at the sound of the two crying.

“H I’m sorry,” Harry’s muffled voice came through the phone. “I’ll be there soon, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”

Louis could feel Holden sniffling against him, wiping his eyes and trying to stop his tears as he looked back to the phone.

The toddler told Harry how much he loved him, how much he missed him, and when Harry told Holden the exact same thing they all said their final goodnights.

Louis kissed Holden’s head and picked him up from his bed, carrying him to his own room before laying the 3 year old on his bed and laying down with him. The toddler hiccupped himself to sleep as he laid on his daddy’s chest and all Louis could do was hold him and promise him that Harry was coming back, that soon his papa would be back home.

*~*

Louis bit his lip nervously as he watched from the side of the stage, silently pacing and his heart pounding faster and faster with each second that passed.

So far things were going well, great really, but something could change within a second and that’s what Louis was waiting for.

Everything has been timed perfectly, the kids were hitting their notes and sounded amazing, Niall and the orchestra were perfect of course, but something still felt missing. And it didn’t take Louis much thinking to know that it was Harry.

He wished the younger lad was here for opening night, that he was sitting with Holden and Zayn in the audience, that he could see how much work he and Niall have put into this. But there was someone in the back of the auditorium recording the entire thing so he would have to show the dvd to Harry instead.

By the time intermission hit the kids were all on a high from the show and Louis was doing everything to keep them focused. He was more than happy for them of course, and he told them how amazing they were doing, but they needed to stay grounded.

“Hey mate, you doin good?” Niall asked as he came up to the older lad.

“Just trying to remind myself to breathe, but yeah, I’m great,” Louis said through an airy laugh, reaching for a cup of water on the snack table and chugging it.

Niall hummed as he smiled amusedly at him and shook his head. “C’mon mate, everything is going more than perfect, the kids are doing great, so what has you all worked up?”

“Usual nerves,” Louis shrugged.

“And…?”

Louis bit the inside of his cheek as he looked to his shoes and shrugged again. “I dunno, I guess I just wished Harry was here,” he said quietly. “I really miss him and… I dunno,” he said shaking his head and trying to clear his thoughts.

Niall nodded, letting out a quiet breath before gently clapping the older lad on the back. “Trust me mate, he’s closer than you think.”

“What?” Louis asked him confused, but before he could get an answer the Irish lad said it was time to get back on stage.

The kids were all rushing around him, doing a quick soundcheck before going back to the side of the stage to start the second act, but Louis was still stuck. He had no clue what Niall meant, that Harry was closer than he thinks, but it was too late to ask him again because the younger lad was already back in the pit with the orchestra.

So the only thing Louis could do was head back to his spot at the side of the stage and cue everyone when to start. But even when the kids were back on stage and continuing on with show he was trying to figure out what Niall had said.

Louis couldn’t focus on that though, he still had a second half of a show to get through. The kids still did amazing, remembering everything he’s told them and the overall performance was the best they’ve ever done. Louis didn’t think he could be any more proud at the final product, and only when the final bows were being taken did he breathe, a show finished that was more than well done. But then of course it was his turn to go on stage to take his bow and his heart rate picked right back up.

He put on a nervous smile and ran a hand over his button down before taking his steps onto the stage, seeing the audience on their feet, clapping and cheering as he came out. And as he took his bow he could feel his cheeks heating up at everyone clapping, and when he stood up he could see Holden and Zayn in the front row, waving happily at him and getting thumbs up from the two, the 3 year old screaming his head off for his daddy. But that was just before there was a deafening cheer and Holden began yelling even more and pointing excitedly to something on stage.

Louis furrowed his eyebrows as he saw the toddler, but when he looked to where Holden was pointing he felt his breath hitch, stumbling backwards and tears pooling in his eyes at the sight of Harry with a bouquet of flowers in his hands.

“Hi love,” Harry said softly before smiling at the older lad and taking a careful step towards him, only for Louis to nearly lunge at him and wrap his arms around his neck tightly.

Louis didn’t even care he was crying, didn’t care if he was hugging Harry in front of all of his students and their parents because he was actually here, he was home.

Harry tucked his head into Louis’ neck, a deep breath escaping him as he pulled him impossibly closer to his chest and trying not to cry at just having the older lad back in his arms.

“You did so good love, it was amazing,” he mumbled against him, placing a quick kiss onto Louis’ neck and rubbing his back with his free hand.

“I hate surprises,” Louis sniffled to himself, just barely pulling away from Harry and just looking at him, taking him and realizing he was really there. “But God I missed you,” he said tucking his head back into the younger lad’s neck.

“I missed you too,” Harry barely breathed out, not actually believing Louis was back in his arms. “And I really really want to kiss you so can we please get off stage?” he asked through a quiet laugh.

Louis let out an airy chuckle as he nodded against the younger lad, hearing the audience still clapping before releasing Harry, taking one more bow and heading off to the side of the stage. And he wasn’t sure if he was out of sight of the audience for a second before he felt Harry on him, his arms wrapped around his waist and heavy lips pressed against his. But Louis didn’t waste a second before kissing him back, his fingers brushing through his curls and hand cupping his jaw as their lips moved together. And God did Louis miss this more than anything, just feeling the younger lad against him, Harry holding onto him like a lifeline and kissing him like they had seconds left to live.

“Damn Mr.Tomlinson.”

Louis quickly pulled away from Harry, his head snapping to where Michael was snickering and basically all of his students were smirking at him. “You uhm, all of you did great, now uh, you can go.”

He could feel Harry laughing into his neck but at least the kids listened to him, all of them laughing as they went to go talk to their family and friends in the hall about the performance.

“Here,” Harry said softly, slightly pulling away from him. “I got you these,” he passed Louis the bouquet of lilacs.

Louis took the flowers from the younger lad, trying desperately to keep himself together at the thought that Harry was actually here, that he came home for opening night. “What about the award show? I thought-”

“I was there,” Harry shook his head, biting his lip and trying to keep in a laugh. “I was in this beyond expensive suit and eating fancy food and answering the same boring questions I have a million times before and I hated it, I had to come home,” he said, wrapping his arms back around Louis’ waist. “I couldn’t miss opening night of Cinderella now could I?”

Louis ducked his head as he bit his lip, never actually telling Harry what the musical was, and wasn’t going to until he saw it. “I guess you couldn't,” he said quietly through a small smile.

Harry hummed, running his hands down the older lad’s sides as he dipped his head, but just before he could brush his lips against Louis’ he heard a loud shriek.

“Papa!!”

He couldn’t even react before a little body attacked him, Holden wrapping his arms around his legs and clinging to him.

“Oh my boy did I miss you,” Harry said, scooping the toddler up, squeezing him into his chest and kissing him all over his face. “If I ever go anywhere again I’m taking you with me. Five days is way too long to not see my favorite guy.”

“I miss you papa,” Holden said into his neck, hugging him tightly and making sure he was never going anywhere ever again. “I keep you forever.”

Harry couldn’t help the small laugh that escaped him as he rubbed Holden’s back and kissed his feathery hair. If he had it his way he would stay forever. He wouldn’t travel anymore, wouldn’t be without his son and Louis for a day, but not all things work in his favor like that.

But at least for now he had Holden in his arms and Louis tucked into his side.

The older lad having to go around and talk to parents, but Harry followed right after him, Holden staying attached to his hip as they went along.

He talked to Zayn and Niall as Louis talked to everyone else about the show, everyone congratulating him and it was hard for Harry to hide just how proud he was of the older lad. He of course had some people’s attention, asking for pictures or autographs, and with Holden’s permission he obliged.

Harry had caught Liam and some girl with him in the back of the crowd, carefully getting Louis’ attention and waving him over. He looked to the older lad, Louis nodding at him before telling him to stay with Holden before going over to Liam and talking to him for a bit.

Louis was surprised by Liam and Sophia’s appearance, but he would be lying if he said he wasn’t a little happy they both came to opening night. Liam actually sounded like he cared when they talked about Harry, when asking how he was adjusting to being a father. And from what Louis told him the younger lad was happy with how Harry was taking to everything, how he was being such a presence in the toddler’s life.

When he made his way back to Harry after talking to the pair for a bit, it really felt like things between them were getting better, and maybe soon Louis thought all of them could get together and really make amends.

It wasn’t until Louis had talked to basically everyone when they said their goodbyes to Zayn and Niall and heading home.

Harry followed right after Louis’ car as he drove to his house, the younger lad more than excited to just be home, even if it wasn’t to his flat. Louis’ house was basically his house as well at this point.

After what felt like forever he was able to help Holden get ready for bed, read from his favorite book, tuck him in and kiss him goodnight.

And for the first time since Harry left, Louis saw the toddler falling asleep with a smile on his face. But he wouldn’t be the only one, because as soon as they were out of the toddler’s room Harry was on him, pushing him down the hall towards his bedroom, already undoing the buttons of his shirt and shoving it off his shoulders.

So by the time Louis was heavily breathing against Harry’s sweaty chest, coming down from his rush and catching up with younger lad in more ways than one he too felt himself fall asleep, a soft grin coming to him with Harry’s arms wrapped around him and lips brushing over his skin. Finally, after what seemed like forever everyone felt back at home.

*~*

“Daddy papa like this, I know he does,” Holden said, throwing something into the cart.

Louis furrowed his eyebrows as he picked up whatever Holden had gotten and hummed as he saw the swedish fish. “He does like those buddy, is that gonna be part of your present?”

“Yeah!” Holden said excitedly before grabbing onto his daddy’s two fingers and walking down the aisle with him. “When grandpa and nana come I give to papa.”

“That’s a good plan big guy,” Louis said, his eyes scanning the shelves for anything else they may need for Harry’s birthday lunch. “You know papa and I are going out tonight and grandpa and nana are going to watch you, that’s okay right?”

“Yes!!” Holden said like that was the dumbest question ever. “Grandpa say he help with trains on phone.”

“Oh yeah?” Louis asked through a quiet laugh. “I’m sure he’ll help you set it up proper like his.”

Holden hummed happily as he nodded to himself and skipped along as his daddy walked. “When papa come home?”

“He should be home in an hour or two,” Louis said, double checking he had everything in the cart before heading to the beverage aisle to get a few beers. “He has the radio interview and then the photoshoot so it shouldn’t be too long.”

“But papa so busy all time now,” Holden groaned.

“I know buddy, but it’ll be over soon,” Louis said softly. “We’re lucky he hasn’t had to travel anywhere, right? With his album out at least he’s been able to stay home and papa made sure of that, so we should be grateful.”

Holden let out a quiet breath but nodded anyway as he felt his daddy rubbing his back. He knows his papa didn’t want to travel anymore but he still missed him during the day when he had to go to work.

“Excuse me, Louis Tomlinson, right?”

Louis looked up and bit his lip as he saw about three teenage girls gawking at him. “Yeah, Harry isn’t here, sorry,” he said, not sounding sorry at all as he picked Holden up and placed him on his hip.

“Well are you getting stuff for his birthday dinner or something?” one of the girls asked excitedly.

“Yeah, are you planning anything for him? Like a surprise?”

“Me and daddy-”

“No, no, just getting stuff for lunch,” Louis stopped Holden, wanting to just leave the store and go home before more people showed up. “It was nice meeting you, excuse me,” he said, trying to wheel his cart past them

“How could you not plan something for your boyfriend’s birthday? That’s pretty shitty,” the third girl said, all of them following after him.

“Please don’t use that language near my son,” Louis breathed out, trying to stay calm and get to the checkout line.

He could feel Holden gripping onto his shirt tighter as the girls followed them around, hiding his head into his neck and trying to ignore them.

“But I mean seriously, you have to be doing something for him.”

Louis stayed quiet as he stood in line, his arm wrapped firmly around Holden and hoping that if he just didn’t talk to them they would leave. He knew he couldn’t tell them his plans, they would only post something online and ruin it all, and just as the girls were about to walk away something they said caught his ear.

“Told you he was an arse, that’s probably not even Harry’s kid, he’s just using him.”

Louis’ face fell as he watched them walk away, feeling like his heart plummet into his stomach at those words. But he didn’t do anything besides move forward in line, wrap his arm around Holden a bit tighter and kiss the toddler’s head.

The ride back home was quiet, Holden looking out the window and Louis feeling his phone vibrating in his pocket over and over again. When he saw it was Harry calling though he ignored it, his eyes focusing back on the road and just trying to get home as soon as possible.

And when he pulled up to the house he saw Harry’s car already in the driveway, and at that sight Holden didn’t waste a second before running towards the door.

“Papa!” he said, startling Rob off his father’s lap before leaping into his arms. “Happy birthday!!”

“Thank you buddy, but you already said it three times to me this morning when we woke up,” Harry said through a chuckle, squeezing the toddler back.

“Well birthday very important and very special,” Holden said seriously.

Harry hummed as he smiled to himself, wondering how many more times Holden will scream happy birthday at him. But then his eyes caught on Louis, him immediately standing up and taking some of the groceries the older lad had in his hands.

“I tried calling you, you didn’t pick up,” he said quietly, following Louis into the kitchen.

“I know, I’m sorry I was driving and a little upset,” Louis breathed out, placing the bags on the counter and began emptying them. “I thought you weren’t done for a couple hours.”

“Well I was on my way to the photoshoot but I saw something and wanted to come home,” Harry said softly, stopping the older lad as he tried organizing everything on the counter. “Babe I know what happened at the store... Are you okay?”

“How do you know?” he asked with furrowed eyebrows.

“One of the girls was recording you and I guess posted it on twitter. It blew up and Clara saw it so she sent it to me, she wanted to make sure you were okay and that I knew.”

Louis bit his lip as he shifted his eyes back to the groceries and nodded. “Yeah, yeah, m’fine,” he said quietly. “It’s just that Holden was there and they were being rude, I dunno…”

“C’mere,” Harry said gently, pulling Louis into his chest and kissing his temple. “I’m sorry love… Don’t listen to the shit those people say, they’re just jealous of you, that’s all.”

Louis almost wanted to snort as he heard that, but instead hugged the younger lad back, just being in his arms already making him feel a bit better. “Sorry about you missing the photoshoot and everything,” he said quietly. “And that it’s your birthday and-”

“Lou stop,” Harry said through a small laugh. “You have absolutely nothing to be sorry about,” he said, rubbing circles on the older lad’s back. “Those girls were being awful to you and the photoshoot can wait till never cause I don’t want to do it.”

Louis rolled his eyes as he pulled away from Harry and loosely wrapped his arms around his neck. “You’re a really bad popstar,” he teased.

Harry pinched his side, giving him a fake pointed look before breaking his act, smiling at the older lad and pecking his lips. He may have kissed him a few more times before he was kicked out of the kitchen so Louis could make lunch. So Harry made his way back into the living room, seeing Holden rolling on the floor with Rob and trying to imitate him. And all Harry could do was laugh quietly, shrug, join his son on the floor and try to act like Rob.

At least he tried to until he heard the front door open.

Harry picked his head up confused, but that was just before he saw his mum and Robin come into the house with wide smiles on their faces. And both he and Holden didn’t waste a second before pushing themselves off the floor and running at them.

He had no idea they were driving down, but from the look on Louis’ face as he came to greet them that was the plan. The older lad can say he hates surprises as much as he wants, but Harry knows just how much he likes to plan them, so now it was just a matter of what secret plans Louis has for him tonight.

But for right now he had his mum, Robin, Holden, Louis and a huge spread of his favorite mexican foods, so he was going to solely focus on that for the time being.

Gemma and Charlie had already called him, wishing him a happy birthday and Ed and Niall had done the same, promising to snag him for a night and go out drinking to properly celebrate.

Tonight was all him and Louis though, and by the time dinner rolled around the older lad ordered him to get his suit on and be ready to leave in 20 minutes.

Harry didn’t object of course, going right to Louis’ bedroom and knowing he had at least one of his suits in the closet. And of course he had about three in there from recent nights he went out and came back to the older lad’s house. But then again Harry was sure that half of Louis’ clothes were in his dresser drawers back at his flat too.

So he pulled on one of his suits, Louis already dressed in his own before heading back downstairs.

Holden ran right at him, nearly shoving gifts into his hands and excitedly waiting for him to look at them. And if Harry was being honest they were such Holden gifts to give, he loved them.

The toddler got him his favorite candies, a new disney movie for all of them to watch together, a bowtie and a keychain that looked like his “space car”. And by the time Harry was done hugging and kissing Holden the 3 year old was nearly begging his daddies to leave so he could have some peace.

So Louis kissed the toddler and hugged him tightly before saying goodnight to him and thanking Robin and Anne a million times before heading out the door with Harry.

“So where are we going?” Harry asked as he passed the older lad his keys and hopped in the passenger seat.

“We’re going on a date,” Louis said through a soft smile, getting comfortable in his own seat. “You asked me on one over a month ago, so I think it’s a bit overdue.”

“Definitely,” Harry said, unable to hold back his own grin as he reached over and placed a gentle hand on the older lad’s thigh. “Now that the musical is done and the album is out it’s nice to actually breathe.”

Louis hummed his agreement as he drove down the dark roads, heading towards the city. It was crazy to think that they actually had their lives back, but now that they were done with everything it seemed like they had all the time in the world again. Well, at least they did at night. Usually during the days now Harry had promotional things to do, but Louis was at school and Holden was at daycare those hours, so it was like going back to their old routine. And finally after waiting for forever they were actually able to go on a date.

Louis has been saving up for this, wanting to take Harry to a nice restaurant and for once pamper him, for once pay the bill, but he knew he would have to be sly. The younger lad was always slipping his card to the waiter or waitress before Louis even knew the check had come.

So by the time he had pulled up to the building, handed the keys over to the valet and opened Harry’s door for him he had come up with a plan to get the bill before the younger lad could even think about it.

“Hi uhm, reservation for Tomlinson,” Louis said, this kind of place not necessarily being somewhere he goes to eat because of how much it costs, but he has been dying to go and he knows Harry has never been.

“Lou this place looks incredible,” Harry breathed out as he looked around the restaurant. “Are you sure-”

“Don’t,” Louis said through an airy laugh as he reached for the younger lad’s hand and followed the maitre-d to a small table in the back. “I have it all under control, please just this one time it’s on me.”

“But Louis-”

“It’s your birthday, no,” Louis said plainly, pulling Harry’s chair out for him. “And if you try to slip the waiter your card I’m cutting your hand off.”

Harry raised his eyebrows at the older lad as he took a seat across from him. “Louis it’s my birthday, I get to make the decisions today,” he said in mock seriousness.

“Uhm no,” Louis said, shaking his head. “I’m paying for the bill and you’re going to sit there and let me.”

Harry hummed, knowing he could definitely slip their waiter his card without Louis noticing. But as he looked to the older lad he was already eyeing him, giving him that silent “don’t you dare even try” scowl. And all he did was shrug and send Louis the sweetest smile he could before looking down to his menu and tangling their feet together under the table.

And it was like all those years ago on their first date. Even after being whatever they are for months now it was still a little nerve wracking to actually be starting all over again like this.

Laughs were trying to be muffled into hands and smiles bit back to not seem like a pair of lovestruck teenagers, but the longer they sat there the harder it became.

Everyone in the restaurant had looked over at them at least once as they let out barking laughs, and maybe it wasn’t the most appropriate thing to do in this kind of restaurant, or any restaurant, but they couldn’t help it.

And by the time they were done with their dinner, they had talked about everything and nothing, and a bottle of wine was finished between them, Louis waved their waiter over to get the check. He had been watching Harry all night, so it would be impossible for him to pay, and he was more than willing to tackle the younger lad if it meant keeping Harry’s card in his pocket.

“Could we get the check?” Louis asked, watching the waiter like a hawk so he could just take the booklet from him.

The waiter looked down at him confused before shifting his gaze to Harry, and just as he was about to open his mouth the green eyed lad stopped him.

“Lou I already got it, it’s fine,” Harry said, preparing himself for the yelling he was about to receive.

“You what?!” Louis whisper yelled. “Harry what the hell?! I said I would!! When did you even do it?!” he asked, their waiter slowly shuffling away from them so they could talk.

“When I went to the “bathroom”,” Harry said through a small laugh. “C’mon Lou, really it’s fine. I’m a millionaire for God’s sake, it’s not like it hurts me.”

“Doesn’t matter,” Louis grumbled. “I wanted to pay.”

“Louis I’m telling you this for future reference, whenever we go out I’m paying. Don’t even try to argue with me,” Harry said seriously.

Louis muttered to himself under his breath as he shook his head. “You suck.”

“No, I just have a lot to make up for, and this just something small,” Harry said with raised eyebrows, making the older lad bite his lip. “But if you want we can go back home and then I’ll show you how I really suck.”

“Please stop talking,” Louis said as he chuckled to himself and hid his face in his hands. “But yeah, we can go.”

“Thought you would like that idea,” Harry said through a small smirk as he pushed himself out of his seat and offered the older lad his hand.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” Louis grumbled as he rolled his eyes and followed Harry out of the restaurant.

Harry smiled down at the older lad, giving his hand a gentle squeeze as they waited for the car. And as soon as it pulled up in front of them Louis took the keys and opened the door for him. But when they were actually on the road and he saw him driving further into the city instead of going back to the house he grew confused.

“Babe where are we going?” he asked with furrowed eyebrows.

“Well I was uhm… I was thinking with your mum and Robin at the house with Holden you and I could maybe uhm, maybe go back to your flat,” Louis said quietly, keeping his eyes on the road.

“Yeah, sure,” Harry shrugged. “You okay? What’s got you actin all funny?”

Louis bit his lip as he glanced over to Harry and gripped the steering wheel just a bit tighter. And he hoped the look he was giving the younger lad answered him, that it translated what he wanted to say. But he knew Harry understood him when he went wide eyed and his jaw had gone slack.

“Oh! Oh, yeah, yeah, tonight? Really? That’s okay, I mean you’re okay if we… Do it?” Harry whispered the last part like a secret.

Louis looked over to the younger lad like he was crazy before rolling his eyes at him. “You’re acting like a 16 year old virgin, yes I’m okay,” he said through a chuckle.

“Well Lou this is kind of a big deal,” Harry said quietly.

“I know, and I’ve thought about it a lot,” Louis breathed out as he nodded to himself. “And well… I’m ready if you are.”

Harry kept his eyes on Louis, searching his face and making sure this is what he really wanted. “Hell Lou I’ve been ready since we started talking again,” he said through a small laugh.

“I’m sure that’s not true,” Louis scoffed. “When we started talking I was ready to hit you every five seconds and we could barely even utter anything to each other without getting mad.”

“Doesn’t mean I didn’t want to jump you,” Harry said, squeezing the older lad’s thigh. “You know you got better with age.”

“Ugh, please shut up,” Louis groaned, rubbing a hand over his face. “I swear I’ve never met a more ridiculous person,” he muttered.

Harry shrugged and hummed to himself, hiking his hand up Louis’ thigh just a bit more as he drove closer and closer to his flat. “And yet you’re still willing to sleep with me.”

“The more you talk the less willing I am,” Louis laughed quietly as he pulled into Harry’s flat complex and parked the car.

Harry pressed his lips together, trying to keep in his own laugh as he hopped out of the car and immediately grabbed Louis’ hand, already trying to rush him inside.

And before Louis even knew what was happening they were in the lift, Harry’s lips moving feverishly against his own and his suit jacket already getting slipped off. But he wasn’t going to slow the younger lad down, wasn’t going to stop him when the lift came to Harry’s flat and his shirt somehow became unbuttoned, it being tossed to the floor along with Harry’s jacket.

Harry was moving so fast Louis could barely comprehend what was happening until he felt the younger lad gently shoving on his chest, his back hitting the mattress and bouncing slightly as Harry unbuttoned his shirt in record speed.

“H, H, wait,” Louis said breathlessly as the younger lad crawled over to him.

“What? You okay?” Harry asked through a heavy breath.

“Love just… Slow down,” Louis said as a small laugh escaped him, running a gentle hand down Harry’s bare back.

“Sorry,” Harry said sheepishly, trying to calm his racing heart. “M’just excited, and… I’m uhm, I’m a bit nervous.”

“Don’t be,” Louis barely whispered, carding his fingers through the younger lad’s curls. “It’s just us… Like the old days.”

Harry bit back a nervous smile as he nodded down at Louis and dipped his head to kiss his lips gently. “I’m so happy you’re here.”

Louis laughed against the younger lad’s mouth, pecking him a few more times before trailing his hands down to Harry’s waist. “Me too.”

That was all Harry needed to hear to slowly connect their lips again, moving much slower than he was before. And he kept it like that the entire time. His hands gently running over the older lad’s skin, his breaths coming out shakily as he kissed Louis and carefully popped his pants button.

And it was like all those years ago, his hands shaking as he felt the older lad against him, the silent pleas that would escape him, the moans and tight noises that escaped him the more worked up they both got.

It was only when Harry was reaching for his bedside table, frantically searching for lube and a condom when he realized exactly what they were about to do. It was nerve wracking and terrifying and amazing all at the same time. Something he’s been looking forward to for so long, to just be so close to Louis again, to feel him the same way he did all those years ago.

But they kept it slow, Harry carefully stretching the older lad open since he hasn’t been in years. And at the touch Louis was writhing under him, just at the younger lad’s fingers feeling himself almost completely come undone.

It was just like how he remembered it, how gentle Harry was with him like any second he would break. How he would kiss him until he felt dizzy and his fingers were working him just right, making him moan into his mouth.

And after what felt like a lifetime of preparation Louis gave him the okay, nodding his head and heaving breaths escaping him as he laid under the younger lad. Harry was in the same state, breathing heavily into his neck as he carefully aligned himself and what felt like slow motion pushed into him. It was so slow that Louis was nearly begging for him to hurry up, he didn’t care if he got hurt, he’s been waiting for over four years for this and he wasn’t going to come without the younger lad in him.

And thankfully Harry actually listened to him,clearly just as eager as he was, but was better at hiding it.

He started off slow, his movements careful at first. But before either of them knew it, it became something else. Both of them begging, aching for more, the feeling of being so close, so connected after so long had them both trembling at the simplest of touches.

It wasn’t long until Harry’s movements were out of rhythm, his hips jerking forward, sweat dripping down his jaw and silent pleas were muffled into the older lad’s neck.

He was a second away from letting it all go, from releasing into the condom and getting the feeling that he could breathe again back, but he couldn’t, not yet. Harry kept pushing, kept going until Louis was a whining mess under him. And only when the older lad came with a shout of his name did Harry let himself go, falling still onto Louis’ chest and letting out heavy breaths like he hadn’t breathed in years.

The two just laid there, their sweat and breaths mixing in the hot room.  And as Harry pulled out of Louis he couldn’t help the smile that came to him, pushing his damp curls out of his eyes before turning on his side and running his hand over the older lad’s chest.

“I thought  we weren’t going to fuck on the first date again?” he asked through an airy laugh, pulling Louis into his side and kissing his temple.

Louis rolled his eyes as he curled himself into Harry’s side, forgetting the last time he felt like this, so loved and like he belonged. “Old habits are hard to break,” and that was the only thing he could mutter before falling asleep to the younger lad’s fingers tracing down his back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, yell at me, I deserve it... I promise this upcoming week isn't nearly as busy as my last two have been. Anyway, hope you enjoyed the update :) Comments are my favorite thing and I love kudos, thanks !!


	12. Chapter 12

Louis could see the light streaming into the room, peeking past his eyelids and successfully waking him up. And when he rolled over to get away from the light he found himself pressed into Harry’s chest, the younger lad’s arm still wrapped firmly around him and sleeping like a rock as he snored quietly to himself.

Louis let out a slow breath through his nose as a warm smile came to him, if possible moving closer to Harry and absorbing his heat. No matter how badly he wanted to get back to sleep and stay here forever though Louis knew he couldn’t. His eyes had already fluttered open and set upon the clock on the bedside table, successfully making him jerk awake at the time.

“Fuck,” he groaned into his hands. “Shit, shit, shit,” Louis muttered, pushing the covers back and immediately feeling a sharp pain shoot up his backside.

“Lou?” Harry asked sleepily, barely picking his head off the pillow. “Babe what’re you doin? Come back to bed,” he said, already trying to get comfortable on the bed again.

“H I completely forgot about class and your mum and Robin have Holden and-”

“Call out sick and they won’t care about watching him a bit longer. Now c’mere,” Harry mumbled into his pillow, stretching his arm out and reaching for the older lad.

Louis shook his head as he bit back a laugh and stood up fully. As he did that though he felt that burn in his backside, but also something else. “H?” he asked quietly, feeling himself still. “Did you use a condom last night?”

“Yeah,” Harry breathed out, already feeling himself fall back asleep. “Why?”

“Just uhm, just asking,” Louis barely whispered. “I need to uh, I need to take a shower.”

“Lou,” Harry groaned. “Come here.”

“I will, I promise,” Louis said through an airy laugh, carefully shuffling towards the bathroom unable to ignore the dried stickiness in his bum. “Just shower first.”

Harry let out another groan, wanting nothing more than to just curl up with Louis and go back to sleep. But instead he swung his legs over the bed and went into the bathroom after the older lad, seeing him start the shower.

“Hey,” he said softly, carefully wrapping his arms around Louis’ waist and burying his nose in the back of his hair. “You okay? You don’t regret last night or anything right?”

Louis shook his head as he turned around in Harry’s arms, something else stemming his worries. “Of course I don’t,” he said through a small smile. “Last night was… Amazing,” Louis said as he let out an airy laugh, feeling his cheeks heat up at just the thought of last night.

Harry hummed, dipping his head and gently pressing his lips to the older lad’s. “You were even better than I remember.”

“Yeah well four years is a long time, I might’ve been a little desperate,” Louis said through a sheepish chuckle as he stepped into the shower and tugged on Harry’s hand to join him.

Harry scoffed, not even wanting to talk about how desperate he’s been since Louis came back into his life and even before that. “Yeah, you have no idea,” he muttered.

Louis smiled back at him as he saw Harry getting in the shower after him, but still there was something that was bothering him. And he had a suspicion that the uncomfortable feeling in his bum had to do with it. He knew Harry either didn’t use a condom or it broke, and just at that thought Louis grew more and more nervous.

*~*

Louis let out a few deep breaths, trying to get past this nauseous feeling in his stomach as he walked down the aisle. This has been going on for two weeks at this point, and Harry keeps saying its probably something he ate, but Louis knew better.

He had looked at the condoms Harry had in his bedside table, and he almost wanted to faint when he read one of them. The thing was, was that they were all four years old. As in they were the same ones Harry had when they were dating, as in they were expired. And when he went to check the wastebasket for the condoms they’ve used sure enough some of them were broken.

Louis doesn’t understand how Harry didn’t feel that, how he himself didn’t feel it when any of them broke. But then again, it was the first time in years either of them have been having sex, it was too overwhelming to think about something like that at the time.

But now here Louis was, a second away from having a meltdown as he reached for a pregnancy test and scurried out of the aisle so he wouldn’t be seen. He knew the media would have a field day if they knew about this or if any fans caught him with the little box.

Louis had to pick this up though, he had to know if he was pregnant or not. For the last two weeks it’s been nothing but hot flashes, stomach pains, nausea and headaches. He had to know, he had to talk to Harry about all of this and hopefully not cry while doing so.

But of course he couldn’t even get to the checkout without a few people not so sneakily taking pictures of him. At this point Louis was used to it. He hated it, but he was used to it.

So as quickly as possible he paid for the little box and rushed out of the store, immediately heading for his car and getting away from the people with their phones out that just had to follow him. But Louis tried to pay them no mind as he got to his car and roared the engine to life.

And when he pulled onto the road it was impossible to stop his racing thoughts.

What if it came out positive? What if he and Harry only had sex a couple times and already there was a baby coming? He didn’t know how Harry would react, if he would be happy or terrified. He didn’t even know how he himself was feeling other than terrified.

But maybe he was just over thinking all of this. Maybe he wasn’t even pregnant and for the past two weeks he’s just had a small stomach bug and he was worrying over nothing. And this was all he could think about as he drove home, even when he parked the car and made his way inside these thoughts wouldn’t stop.

Louis tried to stay calm as he climbed the stairs to his bathroom, closing the door behind him and just staring at the box in his hands. He had to know, it couldn’t be like last time when he was too terrified to take a test and only when Liam forced him to he did, when he refused to tell Harry because he was scared.

This time he was going to know as soon as possible, and when he did know he was going to tell the younger lad right away. It was just a matter of making his hands stop shaking so he could actually take this test and get on with it.

And it may have taken him another 10 minutes to actually gain the courage to do it, but he had taken the test, and now just had to wait another 5 minutes to find out if he and Harry were having a baby or not.

Louis was sitting on the bathroom floor, his hands clutching his hair and knees pulled into his chest as he stared at the little stick in front of him. It felt like time was moving in slow motion, even when he did this the first time all those years ago it wasn’t this agonizing. But he couldn’t even make it past 3 minutes before he heard the front door open and Harry’s voice booming through the house.

“Louis!!”

His head snapped up at the younger lad’s yell, him almost sounding mad as he pushed himself off the floor and walked out of the bathroom. “Yeah?” he called back.

Louis made his way downstairs, only to see Harry pacing the living room and combing his fingers through his hair, clearly trying to calm down. “H what’s wrong?” he asked with furrowed eyebrows. “I thought you were gonna pick up Holden, is he-”

“Did something happen today?” Harry asked him, his gaze finally landing on the older lad.

“Uhm… No,” Louis said confused.

Harry shook his head as he let out a heavy breath and rubbed a hand over his face. “Weren’t you the one who was making a big fuss about wanting to talk to each other? What happened to that Louis?” he asked, trying his hardest not to scream.

“Harry I really have no clue what you’re talking about,” Louis said quietly, the younger lad clearly upset with him about something.

“Louis what is this?!” Harry asked, his voice raising as he brought up his phone.

Louis squinted his eyes at the phone, his face dropping as he read the headline. **Trying to Hide Something Louis Tomlinson?** It read with a pictures of him picking up the pregnancy test at the store and zoomed in on his stomach. But of course pictures weren’t enough, there was an entire article on him and Harry, and possibly expecting a baby.

“Harry…” he barely whispered, swallowing thickly and shifting his eyes back to the younger lad.

“Well?” Harry asked with raised eyebrows. “Were you gonna pull the same shit? Were you not gonna tell me or talk to me or-”

“Stop it,” Louis said, shaking his head and looking down to his feet. “Harry relax, if you look at the date it was posted today, and I just got back from the store where that was taken. I don’t even know if I’m pregnant yet, I’m still waiting for the test to be done…”

Harry opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out as he took in the older lad’s words. “But how? We… I used a condom, we only did it a couple times… I....” he barely whispered.

“It broke… Most of them did,” Louis said as he bit his lip. “I knew it did the morning after the first time but I didn’t say anything, I didn’t think it was a big deal but-”

“But you haven’t been feeling well,” Harry finished off for him. “Louis I’m sorry… I just, I thought you didn’t tell me and weren’t going to.”

Louis shook his head as he scratched the back of his neck and kept his eyes trained on the floor. “I was going to take the test and tell you everything when you got home.”

“Babe I’m sorry,” Harry said quietly, taking a careful step towards the older lad and gently wrapping his arms around him. “I just got scared is all, I didn’t mean to yell.”

“I know,” Louis said through a heavy breath as he rested his head on the younger lad’s chest.

And it was more than a relief that he was in Harry’s arms, that he knew and he wasn’t running away or was angry at him, but instead was kissing his head and rubbing his back, trying to do everything in his power to comfort him.

“You know no matter what I’ll be here,” Harry said softly into the older lad’s neck. “We’ll still be a proper family, yeah?”

Louis nodded against him, letting out a deep breath and really taking in Harry’s words. No matter what they were going to be okay and the younger lad wasn’t going anywhere. “It uhm… The test should be done by now.”

“Okay,” Harry said quietly, gently pressing his lips to Louis’ temple. “We’ll look together, alright? It’s okay,” he tried to reassure the older lad, at the same time trying to calm himself down.

All Louis could do was nod again. Even with Harry there, with him knowing that there was even a possibility of them having another baby it was nerve wracking.

They never planned for this, Louis didn’t know if Harry wanted another baby, and it was so early in their relationship the younger lad hasn’t even asked him to be his boyfriend and already this was happening. They may have wanted to take things slow this time around but it felt like things were moving faster than they did last time.

But Louis still led Harry upstairs to the bathroom, gripping the younger lad’s hand for dear life and trying to even his breathing the closer and closer they got. And behind him Harry wasn’t much better.

No matter how hard he tried Louis could see past the younger lad’s brave face. He was clearly just as he scared, just as terrified as he was, but Harry was trying to stay calm for his sake. And Louis would be lying if he said it didn’t help as they got into the bathroom, the little plastic stick right where he left it.

They both just looked at it, it too small to read from where they were standing, but it was Harry who made the move to pick it up.

“No matter what,” he said quietly, reaching for the stick and gripping it in his hand. “I’m yours.”

Louis swallowed thickly and nodded to himself, his eyes trained on Harry and slow breaths escaping him as he watched the younger lad turn the stick over to look at it. His heart beating faster and faster as he saw Harry’s face, the younger lad’s breath hitching when he looked at the test.

“Negative,” Harry breathed out, his eyes shifting to Louis and feeling himself calm down at the little minus sign.

Louis sucked in a deep breath and nodded to himself, not thinking he would feel this relieved at just that one word. “You just as relieved as I am?” he said through an airy laugh.

“Maybe more,” Harry said through his own quiet chuckle, but when he saw the older lad look at him with furrowed eyebrows he shook his head. “I mean, like… I have to talk to you.”

Louis opened and closed his mouth, already feeling himself growing nervous again as he saw that whatever Harry wanted to tell him it was serious.

“Niall is getting Holden, I know I was supposed to but I had to talk to you alone first,” Harry said, his gaze shifting to the floor. “They’re just back at my flat and he’ll bring him home whenever we’re done.”

Louis didn’t know how to respond, had no idea what Harry would want to talk to him about that would be so bad where he didn’t want Holden in the house. So he didn’t say anything, instead he found himself just barely able to nod before leading the younger lad down to the living room.

The air around them was tense as they sat on the couch, Harry clearly trying to find the right words and calm himself down at the thought of what he was about to tell Louis.

“You uhm… You know I had a meeting with my management team today,” Harry began quietly, unable to look at the older lad.

Just at those words Louis did feel a bit of relief, happy that he didn’t want to talk about their relationship, that everything between them was fine.

“And what I have to tell you is that I uhm… I-I’m going on tour again,” he said, finally picking his head up and seeing Louis freeze. “The contracts are ready to be signed and they’re already getting everything ready,” Harry barely whispered.

“What?” Louis asked so quietly he wasn’t sure the younger lad heard him. “Why would you do that? Why would you agree to that without talking to me about it?!”

“Louis I’m talking to you now,” Harry said softly, carefully reaching for the older lad’s thigh. “I didn’t sign anything yet, I’m just saying that my team is waiting for an answer.”

Louis let out a deep as he nodded to himself and tried to calm down. What happened not even 10 minutes ago with the whole might be having a baby thing, and now this. It was a bit too much for one day.

“How long would you be gone?”

Harry bit the inside of his cheek, just thinking about how long he would be away making his throat tighten up. “8 months…” he barely whispered. “I mean I’ll be home in between of course but that’s the full length… That’s why I was a bit nervous with the whole pregnancy thing, I-”

“You wouldn’t have time for a baby, you’ll be gone for almost a year,” Louis muttered into his hands.

Harry furrowed his eyebrows as he heard the older lad, almost growing confused at what he had said. “Do you… Do you want another baby?”

“Well I…” Louis trialed off, not even sure of what he wanted. “When we were dating we always talked about having two or three kids and Holden is that age where a baby is doable, but at the same time you’re so busy and we just went out on a first date two weeks ago, and-”

“Babe,” Harry said softly, gently rubbing circles into the older lad’s back so he would breathe. “It’s okay, this is what I want to talk about, stuff like this. You don’t have to be nervous or scared.”

Louis let out a deep breath into his hands and nodded to himself. It wasn’t like last time. They were actually talking and Harry knew everything, he wasn’t going anywhere, no matter what.

“Harry this is a lot,” he barely whispered. “I can’t just say yes, I want another baby because then what?” Louis asked, his eyes trained on the floor. “And I’m not saying I do because that’s just so much right now and too soon, but at some point… Yeah, I… I will want another one.”

“Okay,” Harry said gently, kissing the older lad’s temple and pulling him into his side. “And what if I said I wanted the same thing?”

Louis felt himself still for a second, slowly picking his head up and opening and closing his mouth as he looked at Harry. “What?”

“Are you actually surprised?” Harry asked through a small laugh. “Louis of course I want that, it’s just a matter of when.”

“Not anytime soon, just… Just at some point in the future,” Louis said quietly, still a bit shocked that Harry would actually have another baby with him.

Harry nodded, offering the older lad a small smile as he still saw him a bit nervous about the topic. “Look at us. Being all grown up and talking,” he said jokingly.

Louis bit his lip to keep in a laugh as he shook his head. “It’s crazy, I know,” he teased back. “Almost 5 years later and we figured it out.”

Harry hummed, pressing another kiss to Louis’ cheek before running his hand down his back. “But just getting back to uhm, back to the tour,” he began quietly. “What are your thoughts?”

“M’not so sure I have any,” Louis breathed out, his gaze focusing back on the floor. “I don’t want you to go, to be away for so long, but it’s kind of inevitable because it’s bound to happen.”

“Well I can… I…” Harry said, trying to think of anything he could do, but Louis was right. It was impossible for him not to go on tour at least once. “After the tour they said I can go break,” he said softly. “For a year or more, no touring, and minimal travel and interviews, virtually none. It’ll be just us and Holden… And maybe a baby,” Harry said through a chuckle, earning a jab from the older lad.

“Yeah, but gone for 8 months is…” Louis trailed off, shaking his head and not even wanting to think about how hard that will be.

“But I’ll be here in between,” Harry said quickly, trying to calm Louis’ nerves.

“Yeah? How often will you be home?”

Harry nibbled on the inside of his cheek, even the time he can be home not being nearly as long as he would like to be. “About every two months for a week or so,” he said quietly.

“Harry…” Louis said so quietly he wasn’t sure the younger lad heard him as he hid his face in his hands.

“But in the summer you can come with me!” Harry rushed out. “Like June through August you and H can come and I’ll be in Europe and then the US for a month,” he said, aching for the older lad and Holden to come with him. “It’ll be 3 months out of the 8 of us being together, traveling and virtually being on vacation with some shows at night.”

Louis shook his head, needing to think this over, think about Holden and all that travel, weigh the pros and cons of all of this.

“You didn’t even think about it…” Harry said, seeing the older lad shake his head. “Is it really that bad of an idea? I mean we can be together, the three of us-”

“No, no,” Louis said quickly, shaking his head faster. “Harry it’s just Holden and all that travelling, it’s a lot.”

“I know but Louis just think about how amazing it would be,” Harry said through a small smile. “Think about how warm it’ll be, and the food and the beaches, the late nights…” he trailed off, ghosting his lips behind the older lad’s ear.

“The planes, the jet lag, a beyond cranky toddler and a crankier me,” Louis chuckled to himself.

“But Lou,” Harry whined.

“Harry this is something I need to think about,” Louis said a bit more seriously. “I mean that’s a lot to ask for.”

Harry let out a small breath but nodded anyway, understanding the older lad’s concerns. “Well it kinda sounds like I’ll be going on tour.”

“I don’t want you to go, but… If you’ll be home in between and maybe we can go with you for bit it won’t be so bad,” Louis said quietly. “And then you’ll be off for a year or so, and we can uhm, maybe bring back up the whole baby thing,” he said, biting his lip nervously.

“Of course,” Harry said softly.

Louis released a deep breath into his hands, not even wanting to think about what will happen when Harry leaves. Even when they were dating this was always his biggest fear, what would happen when the younger lad would be gone for months at a time, when they would be worlds apart. And now it was happening. Harry was actually going to leave, and what happens when they tell Holden, explain that papa won’t be home for a while is what Louis fears the most. But like every time Harry travels the only thing he can do is assure Holden that papa is always coming back.

*~*

“Holden no running!” Harry said, lightly jogging after the toddler to catch up with him.

“Papa!!” Holden shrieked, feeling his father scoop him up and throw him over his shoulder. “Papa you put me down!” he said seriously.

“No.”

Holden groaned as he slumped against his father, but if he was being honest he never really minded being thrown over his papa’s shoulder. He was so much taller than his daddy that it actually made it fun. But he could never tell his papa that, then he might stop doing it.

“You still alive back there?” Harry asked, peeking over his shoulder at the toddler and flashing him a small smile.

“No,” Holden mumbled into his papa’s shirt. “You kill me and now daddy kill you.”

“Oh no, I’m gonna have to find somewhere to bury you,” Harry breathed out as he shook his head. “Maybe this closet will do. What do you think?” he asked, pulling open some custodian closet and ready to put Holden down.

“No! No!!” Holden said through a loud laugh, clinging to his papa’s neck and refusing to get put down.

“Sorry you’re dead, you don’t have a choice,” Harry said, trying desperately to keep his own laugh in and pry Holden’s arms off him.

“Papa!” Holden squealed, hitting his father’s back and kicking his legs.

“Dead people can’t talk,” Harry said in a matter of fact tone, but still stepped away from the closet and continued his way down the hall.

“And papa’s no be mean,” Holden said, adjusting himself in his father’s arms so he was resting on his hip and pointed a little finger in his face.

Harry scoffed as he shook his head and grabbed his son’s little hand. “Papa’s are supposed to be the meanest, don’t you know that? It’s the daddies who are the nice ones.”

Holden looked at his father with raised eyebrows before shaking his head, realizing his papa was trying to tell another one of his “jokes”. “Keep trying papa, one day I laugh… Maybe.”

Harry felt his jaw go slack as he heard the 3 year old. “You’re not allowed to hang out with daddy anymore, my God,” he said through a chuckle, Holden picking up some of Louis’ sass.

“Well we go see daddy now,” Holden said, squirming out of his father’s arms and running down the hall.

“H,” Harry groaned, jogging after him again.

But he couldn’t get to the toddler before he pushed open Louis’ classroom door and shrieked a very loud “daddy!”. But Harry was surprised to see the 3 year old still standing in the doorway instead of running in.

He came up behind Holden, popping his head into the room, but like Holden stilled where he was as he saw the older lad looking completely distressed with some older guy sitting in front of his desk.

The man had turned around to look at them, but as soon as their eyes met the man scoffed and shook his head. He muttered something to Louis, only making the older lad go wide eyed before they all watched this man get up and leave the classroom.

Harry bit his lip as the older man walked past him in the door, catching his not so subtle glare before he fully left the room. But when he looked back to Louis he could see the blue eyed lad with his hands in his hair and clearly trying to calm down.

“Lou…” he said softly. “I’m sorry, if I knew you had a meeting we wouldn’t have come in,” Harry said, walking further into the classroom after Holden.

Louis just shook his head and let out a deep breath as Holden climbed in his lap. He sat back against his seat, still trying to process what had just happened.

“Daddy you sad?” Holden asked quietly.

“No I-...” Louis stopped himself, rubbing his hands over his face. “Buddy can you go sit in one of the desks? I have to talk to papa real quick.”

Holden bit his lip but nodded anyway before kissing his daddy’s cheek to make him feel better and climbing off his lap.

“Love what happened? Who was that guy?” Harry asked carefully as he took a seat on the older lad’s desk.

“He uhm… That was my boss,” Louis muttered into my hands.

“Okay and what did you guys talk about that has you all worked up?”

“How I haven’t been focused on my job because of my inappropriate relationship with a popstar,” Louis said, straining himself so he wouldn’t just start screaming.

“What?” Harry barely whispered. “What does that even mean? That’s total bull sh-”

“Harry,” Louis warned, nodding over to Holden who was watching them carefully.

Harry bit his lip as he shook his head, trying himself to stay calm. “You’re completely focused on your job, always grading, getting everything back to the kids on time, students love your class and you, and the musical was a hit. What is he talking about?”

“He saw the articles and pictures of me with the pregnancy test,” Louis said quietly, his eyes trained on his hands. “He doesn’t like how public our relationship is, how the students know what’s going on in our lives and he also knows how often you stop by here and he thinks it distracts me.”

“Well it doesn’t,” Harry said almost firmly. “You’re the best God damn teacher they have in this school and what he’s saying is complete and utter shit.”

“Harry,” Louis warned again, seeing the younger lad get more and more worked up. “I mean I hate that the kids know that stuff, that they can see what we do on a daily basis, but we can’t change that,” he said softly, resting his hand over Harry’s and giving it a gentle squeeze. “And I explained that to him, but he’s just an ass, that’s it.”

Harry scoffed as he rolled his eyes, not believing anyone would ever say that Louis didn’t take his job seriously. “What a dick,” he muttered.

Louis hummed his agreement as he glanced over to Holden and offered him a small smile before waving him back over to them. “Yeah, and you know what I’m gonna do?” he asked, picking Holden up and placing him on his lap. “Absolutely nothing, that’s what.”

Harry grinned down at the older lad before leaning forward and kissing his hair, happy at least Louis knew he was a great teacher and to not listen to people like that. “C’mon love, we came by to kidnap you and take you to lunch.”

“Daddy papa kill me, be careful. He try to kill you too.” Holden said, pointing his little finger at his father.

Louis furrowed his eyebrows as he looked between the two, completely confused as he heard Holden giggling and saw Harry scowling at the 3 year old. “Alright crazies, let’s go. I only have an hour.”

Holden covered his mouth with his little hand as he laughed to himself, telling his daddy that he was just kidding and that papa would never do that because he loves them too much. And all his papa could do was wrap an arm around his daddy, pull the two of them into his side and hum his agreement through a soft smile as they walked out of the school.

*~*

“Lou,” Harry said quietly, gently running his hand over the older lad’s bare stomach, trying to wake him up a bit.

And it somewhat worked as Louis grumbled to himself, still refusing to roll over but at least Harry knew he was kind of listening.

“Babe,” he said, nuzzling his nose into Louis’ feathery hair and kissing him softly. “Be my boyfriend,” he barely whispered.

Louis let out a quiet breath, rubbing his hand over Harry’s arm that was draped over him before muttering a barely audible “sure”.

“That’s it? Just “sure”?” Harry asked through a quiet laugh.

“When you’re asking me at 3 in the morning yes, that’s all you get,” Louis muttered into his pillow.

Harry couldn’t help the sleepy smile that came to him as he pulled Louis even closer towards his chest. And if possible his grin widened at feeling the older lad roll over in his arms, pressing a tired kiss to his neck before settling against him and falling right back to sleep.

He really shouldn’t have expected anything more, it was pretty late and like most nights they did just do it a couple hours ago. They couldn’t help it, after not being together for years and now having condoms that wouldn’t break every time they used them, there was no stopping them. Except maybe on the days Holden was a bit more difficult than normal and they both fell into bed exhausted, but thankfully that wasn’t too often and they had nights all to themselves.

But Harry did wonder when the night would come where he would tell Louis he loves him. When he would whisper in the dark as he laid with the older lad and ask him to move in with him, when they could really be back where they were before they broke up.

If it wouldn’t freak Louis out he could do it right now, tell the older lad everything, put it all out on the table. But Harry knew Louis would be hesitant, that it was a lot to ask for considering just minutes ago he asked him to be his boyfriend.

One day soon though they’d be in this exact position and Harry would whisper those words. Would pull Louis close and breathe out that phrase that makes his heart flutter just thinking about it.

One day they’ll be back where they were all those years ago.

*~*

“Holden Edward Tomlinson get your bum back here and stop running around!” Louis said through a frustrated breath as he tried to button up his shirt.

“Let him run around love, he’s just excited,” Harry said quietly as he looked at himself in the mirror, trying to get his hair just right.

“I don’t understand how he has this much energy,” Louis muttered. “I mean that plane ride was like 11 hours, it killed me.”

“Babe we got here like two days ago, are you really still that jetlagged?” Harry asked through a quiet laugh.

“Yes,” Louis huffed like that was a ridiculous question. “Although, I do have to say that I could get used to this weather,” he said, glancing away from the mirror and out towards the bathroom window that overlooked the beach, the LA sun shining bright over the water.

Harry rolled his eyes playfully, knowing that Louis would complain about the flight but once they got here the older lad shut right up. It wasn’t just the beach that made Louis go silent though. Harry hadn’t really told him about his[ LA home](http://www.luxuryportfolio.com/Property/los-angeles-properties-elegant-italian-villa/NWRW), and to say the blue eyed lad was shocked when they got here would be a huge understatement.

If Harry was being honest he was more than happy to be back in LA. If he had it his way that’s where he would be year round, and before Louis came back into his life that’s how it was. He only stayed in his flat back in London a few months out of the year after he and Louis broke up, unable to stay in the city that forced him to think about the older lad. And his LA house became his party house, where every night there was a wild rager and more celebrities could be found than in rehab.

But now it was a family house, now this was a place where Holden could explore and he and Louis could walk hand and hand down the beach right outside. Where there were late nights and not because of a party, but because he and the blue eyed lad decided to sneak out for a swim in the pool, or steal midnight kisses in the hot tub.

“Did they not give me a tie?” Louis asked confused, searching the garment bag Clara gave to him earlier.

“Love a tie wouldn’t look good with a suit like that,” Harry laughed, [checking himself](http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2013/11/24/article-0-199E69A200000578-689_634x417.jpg) over once more.

“Oh…” Louis said quietly as he bit his lip. “Are you sure I have to go? I mean I have no problem just sitting at home, maybe grade a few papers and hang out with H. You can take your mum and Robin, I’ll just-”

“Do you really not want to go?” Harry asked with a touch of hurt in his voice.

“W-well it’s just…” Louis trailed off. “This is a really big deal and there are so many cameras and people, I… I’m nervous.”

Harry bit his lip as he looked at the older lad, before shifting his gaze to the counter. “I don’t want to put you on the spot or put you out and make you uncomfortable, I… I would just really like it if you came.”

Louis let out a deep breath, more than sure that any second he was going to sweat through this beyond [expensive suit](http://s8.favim.com/orig/72/fashion-harry-styles-liam-payne-louis-tomlinson-Favim.com-717950.jpg) and he already looked like a nervous trainwreck, how much worse could it get? He wanted to be there for Harry more than anything, they came to LA specifically for this, he took off a week of work just to come along with the younger lad. But now that it was getting closer and closer to when they had to go he could feel his nerves really picking up.

“Love you have nothing to be nervous about,” Harry said softly, gently wrapping his arms around the older lad and kissing his cheek. “I’m gonna be by your side all night and you don’t even have to talk. Just a few pictures and we’re inside.”

“Just so many people,” Louis groaned into his hands. “And I mean you really want Holden to come? Don’t you think we’ll be out a bit late? Will he get bored or-”

“You’re overthinking this, like you do with everything,” Harry chuckled to himself, pulling Louis into his chest. “The three of us are gonna have a great night, okay? After the show we’ll bring H back here and then you and I can have a night out on the town.”

Louis ducked his head as he smiled to himself, not able to remember the last time he and Harry went out to a club or just out drinking. It was probably a few months before they broke up, and for Louis that was the last time he’s really been out.

“I’ll only go if I’m promised beers and Sam Smith,” Louis said through a small smirk.

“Yes to the beers and I’m not letting you anywhere near Sam. I know you’ve been trying to get a hold of him for years now,” Harry said, squeezing the older lad’s side and eyeing him. “And I know as soon as his eyes set on you in that suit I’m gonna have some real competition.”

Louis hummed, wrapping his arms around Harry’s shoulders and playing with the hairs at the nape of his neck. “I’ll just get Ed to introduce me then,” he smiled up at the younger lad.

Harry rolled his eyes, making a mental note to keep Louis very close and Sam very far the entire night. “C’mon Tomlinson, we have 3 year old to get ready,” he said, patting the older lad’s bum. “And may I remind you he’s our son, and you’re my boyfriend, and you’re mine,” Harry said, raising his eyebrows at Louis before pecking his lips quickly and walking off to find Holden.

Louis let out a dramatic breath before checking himself one more time in the mirror, deeming himself decent looking enough before following after Harry and helping him get their rambunctious son into his tux.

It may have taken them about 10 minutes just to chase after the toddler, but once they had him and were able to calm him down a bit the two managed to get him into his [little suit](http://g02.a.alicdn.com/kf/HTB1jI_lJFXXXXbFXXXXq6xXFXXXj/charming-prince-look-v-neck-western-style-boy-font-b-tuxedo-b-font-suit-at-party.jpg). And if Louis was being honest he’s never seen Holden look so cute in a tux before.

Granted he’s only worn a tux all of two or three times, but this beat all of them out. His little bow tie and tiny suspenders, the way Harry did his hair and the jacket was too much cuteness for Louis. The 3 year old looked like a little popstar, and he was acting like it too.

But after about a half hour of struggling to get the toddler ready they were finally able to go. Louis still wasn’t calm in the slightest and the more he thought about it the more worked up he got but at least he had Holden’s constant rambling to Robin and Harry’s hand firm in his as they drove through LA to distract him. Not only that but this was his first time in a limo, so there were plenty of little things he could focus on, and not about how in just mere minutes he was going to be surrounded by celebrities and some of the most influential people in the music industry.

“Love,” Harry said gently as he saw how close they were to the award show. “It’s okay, alright?” he whispered to the older lad, kissing his temple gently and squeezing his hand. “We’re gonna have a great time, don’t worry.”

Louis bit his lip as he nodded to himself, noticing Anne offering him a reassuring smile as well. He didn’t understand how she wasn’t nervous, or how Robin wasn’t, this being a first for them too. But maybe they were both so proud of Harry they didn’t have room to be nervous.

“You know how much I hate you right?” Louis muttered through a small smile.

Harry hummed, grinning back at the older lad as he felt the limo stop from under them, knowing it was Louis’ own way of saying “I love you”, without actually saying it. “I hate you too,” he said softly, carefully connecting their lips before giving him a few more pecks.

“Hate a mean word,” Holden said as he looked at his daddies with raised eyebrows.

“That’s right sweetheart it is,” Anne smiled down at her grandson as she ran her fingers through the back of his hair. “I’m sure daddy and papa are just playing.”

“Yeah you little police officer, relax,” Harry said teasingly, just as someone opened the limo door. “Alright everyone, let’s pretend we all like each other and get out there.”

Louis rolled his eyes as he watched Harry shuffle out of the limo, the screams almost deafening and camera lights blinding as soon as the younger lad was all the way out. But he let out a deep breath and tried his hardest to calm down as he followed after the him and immediately felt Harry’s arm snake around his waist.

It was overwhelming to say the least. Around them everyone was yelling, cameras were going off a mile a minute and Louis was sure that if he didn’t feel Harry’s touch he would think he was dreaming.

But it was only a second later he didn’t feel the younger lad, making him quickly turn around and look around frantically for him before he spotted Harry taking Holden out of the limo and balancing him on his hip. It was a relief to know that he had the 3 year old, but at the same time he needed Harry by his side because he would be completely lost without him.

And he must’ve looked like a lost puppy as he followed the younger lad around. Him talking to all of these other famous people and waving and smiling at everyone. Anne and Robin were leisurely walking around, just taking everything in, but Louis was stuck to Harry’s side.

Of course Harry introduced him to everyone and Louis doesn’t know how he managed to actually say anything. But sure enough he shook hands, smiled and was being the perfect boyfriend. Holden was actually a saving grace because he took everyone’s attention off of Louis.

The toddler was propped on his papa’s hip and was more than willing to talk to anyone who would listen. Of course the 3 year old had no idea who he was talking nonsense to, even though Louis was near wide eyed at all of the musicians and other incredibly famous people in front of them. And basically everyone there knew Harry, so there was a lot of talking to be done.

Thankfully though the younger lad’s arm was wrapped around him the entire time. Cameras were constantly in their faces, people were screaming and it was just as overwhelming as Louis thought it would be. But it just had to get a bit worse because Harry told them they had to do a live interview. He only promised it was one, but just at the thought Louis was shaking in his shoes.

“It’s fine love, I can do all the talking,” Harry whispered to him, rubbing small circles into his back. “Just stand there and look pretty.”

Louis rolled his eyes as he heard the younger lad laughing. “That I can manage,” he muttered through a deep breath, trying to calm down the closer and closer they got to the large camera.

“It okay daddy. You no need to be scared,” Holden said, patting his father’s shoulder.

Louis looked over at his son with raised eyebrows, wishing he was just as calm as Holden was, or even Anne and Robin who were happily following after them. Luckily though, just as Harry said he did all the talking.

He was being his charming self of course, talking about the album and what they’ve been up to at home, thankfully not mentioning the whole baby drama though.

It wasn’t until Louis heard his name, Harry nudge his side and the interviewer and camera focused on him did he feel his heart pound in his chest. “I’m sorry, what?”

The interview laughed quietly as she saw that Louis wasn’t paying attention at all but quickly composed herself again. “I asked what it’s like for you to be here. I’m sure this being your first time at the Grammy’s or at an award show at all, and being Harry Styles’ boyfriend in general must be a bit overwhelming.”

“Uhm yeah, yeah I would say so,” Louis nodded, swallowing thickly and doing everything in his power not to stare into the huge camera lense in front of him. “I mean the being here part,” he added in quietly. “I’ve been Harry’s boyfriend before and to me he’s not some huge superstar, but just Harry…”

Harry ducked his head as he heard the older lad, trying to hide his blush and small smile. “Cute isn’t he,” he said, pulling Louis impossibly closer to his side and kissing his temple.

And now it was Louis’ turn to feel his cheeks heating up, biting back his grin as he felt the younger lad pressing kisses into his hair.

“Adorable,” the interviewer agreed through a soft smile. “And what about you Holden, are you excited to be here?” she asked, turning to the toddler.

“So happy!” Holden jumped in his papa’s arms. “Papa gon win everything and then- and then we go home and have big party!!” he said, stumbling over his words because of how excited he was.

“I’m only up for three awards buddy,” Harry said, kissing the 3 year old’s hair gently. “And no one said anything about a party.”

Holden pouted at his father, knowing he heard his papa and daddy talking about going to a party later.

“Oh I don’t know how you resist a face like that,” the interviewer said, nearly melting as she saw Holden look at Harry with his puppy eyes.

“Yeah, he doesn’t,” Louis laughed, Harry always being a sucker whenever Holden pulls that face.

“Buddy stop, please,” Harry begged. “I promise tomorrow we’ll do something really really fun, but when we get home tonight you’re going right to bed.”

Holden muttered to himself as he crossed his arms over his chest. Maybe if he begged his nana and grandpa enough they would let him stay up a little later and they could play trains. But for right now all he did was rest his head on his papa’s shoulder as he and his daddy kept talking to the lady with the camera.

It was all boring stuff like what awards his papa was nominated for and they talked to his nana and grandpa about his papa too. The only part that was fun was when the lady would try to talk to his daddy and he got all nervous and started stuttering, even when he wouldn’t stop saying how proud he was of his papa. At that Holden couldn’t help but giggle into his papa’s neck. Of course she talked to him too and the toddler was more than happy to answer any questions she had for him, be it what his favorite thing to do with his daddies is or if they anything do anything embarrassing at which the 3 year old was more than happy to share a couple stories. But halfway through his second story his daddies were quickly stopping him and telling the interviewer they had to go before thanking her and walking off.

“I swear this kid is gonna be the death of us,” Harry chuckled as he placed Holden down and grabbed his hand.

Louis hummed his agreement as he reached for Holden’s other hand, thinking maybe he and Harry should be careful about what they do in front of the toddler so he can’t share any more stories. And just as he was about to say something he tugged on Holden’s hand, stopping the 3 year old and then Harry as he saw the wall of paps they had to walk past.

“Babe it’s real quick, I promise,” Harry said, knowing that taking pictures in front of the backdrop and a thousand paps would be the hardest part. “We pose for a minute or two and then we’re inside.”

Louis opened and closed his mouth, just looking at the flashing lights that were going off rapidly as other people stood in front of the cameras was nerve wracking enough, he’s never seen anything like it.

“Yeah H I think Robin and I will sit this one out, we’ll see you inside,” Anne said, herself a bit weary about all the cameras before tucking her hand into Robin’s and heading off.

“Harry I dunno…” Louis said quietly. “Will I go blind? I’m pretty sure that much flashing light is asking for a headache or something.”

“No love you’ll be fine, trust me,” Harry said, trying not to laugh at seeing the older lad internally freaking out just about pictures.

“What about Holden? Will it hurt his eyes?” Louis asked as he bit his lip and looked down at the 3 year old.

“We already have that all figured out, don’t we buddy?” Harry said, grinning down at the toddler and squeezing his hand, earning a happy nod from Holden. “Alright, sunglasses on,” he said, and it was only a second later the 3 year old pulled out a pair of sunglasses out of his suit jacket pocket and gave his papa a thumbs up.

“Come on daddy!! Picture time!” Holden said, tugging on his daddy’s hand and trying to pull both his fathers towards the cameras.

Louis went wide eyed as he felt Holden tugging on him, but it was too late to stop the toddler, already in front of the paps that went absolutely crazy at seeing them.

“Alright buddy, just like we practiced,” Harry winked down at his son. “And pose!”

Louis took a step back as he saw the two posing like true pop stars. Their backs to each other, lips pursed and arms crossed over their chests with serious faces on. He was at a complete loss of what to do as he saw the two doing pose after pose, clearly having done this before in their own time. And now here he was just standing in front of the cameras, looking completely lost. But at least everyone’s attention was on Harry and Holden. That was until Louis felt the younger lad’s arms wrap around him and his lips pressed into his neck.

“Harry!!” he whispered yelled, his face immediately heating up at noticing everyone focused on them.

“Yes love?” Harry asked as if he was doing nothing wrong. “Don’t you want to take a few pictures with me?”

“I can but not with your lips on me!” Louis said through a quiet laugh, trying to get out of Harry’s arms.

“Why?” Harry whined, holding onto the older lad just a bit tighter.

“Because,” Louis groaned, getting out of the green eyed lad’s arms and looking over to Holden to make sure he was okay, the toddler still posing for the cameras. “Would you look at him? He’s a better popstar than you are.”

Harry hummed his agreement, unable to hold back his wide smile as he saw the 3 year old posing over and over again for the cameras. “Our turn, c’mon,” he said, pecking Louis’ cheek quickly before wrapping an arm around his waist and moving him more centered for the cameras.

Louis felt stiff, it was impossible not to. Everything seemed forced, his smile, how he was standing, even his arm at his side that wasn’t around Harry felt like it was in the wrong place.

“It’s okay love,” Harry whispered in his ear. “What’s got you all nervous? Is it everyone looking at you?”

Louis swallowed thickly and could barely feel himself nodding as he felt Harry’s grip on his waist tighten.

“You know they’re not even looking at me, all eyes are on you,” Harry said softly, making the older lad snap his head at him and look at him wide eyed. “They’re all focused on how gorgeous you look in that suit.”

Louis couldn’t hide his growing blush but he sure as hell could try to bite back his furious grin and duck his head. And Harry wasn’t helping at all as he kept whispering in his ear, if possible making his cheeks heat up even more at what he was saying. If Louis was being honest though he’s never been so grateful for the younger lad, even if he was whispering about what they could do later tonight when they got home from the party, about how amazing he looked in his suit but he would look even better with it off because it completely took his attention away from the paps as he just grinned and blushed up at the younger lad.

“I hate you,” he muttered through a soft smile, pulling Harry just a bit closer to his side.

“Hate you too,” Harry said just as quietly, grinning down at Louis before carefully dipping his head and connecting their lips.

And Louis would be lying if he said that he didn’t notice the cameras flashing even more rapidly. But right now Harry was kissing his so gently like any second he could break, he didn’t care how many people were watching them.

“Okay daddy, let papa go so he win trophy,” Holden said, tugging on his father’s suit jacket.

Louis almost wanted to groan as he heard the toddler, but let go of Harry anyway.

“Later,” Harry winked at him, patting his bum a few times before reaching for his hand.

Louis hummed, just thinking about later tonight had his stomach twisting into knots.

The three made their way inside though, finally away from the cameras and to their seats where Robin and Anne already were.

Louis was a bit surprised that they were in the very first row, but then again Harry was performing and he was up for three awards. Well, that and he was Harry Styles after all. And of course Ed was right on Harry’s other side and next to the ginger lad was Sam Smith, and Louis was determined to meet him sometime tonight. Harry has been trying to steer him away from the older man all night, but one way or another Louis was going to meet him.

Holden was on his lap, a beer was in his hand and Harry’s arm was wrapped around him. Maybe award shows weren’t so bad after all.

At least that’s what he thought before the show started. But as soon as the lights were dimmed and it actually began Harry was a right mess.

The younger lad couldn’t sit still no matter what he did. His knee was bouncing, he was shifting in his seat every five seconds and was muttering to himself every time an award was announced. Even Holden was side eyeing his papa, wondering what was going on with him.

“H what’s wrong?” Louis whispered.

“Nothing’s wrong mate, he’s always like this,” Ed said as he leaned over the curly haired lad.

Louis almost wanted to roll his eyes, clearly something was wrong with how much Harry was fidgeting. “You nervous?” he asked quietly, seeing the younger lad bite his lip and nod.

He let out a small breath, knowing that Harry has been nominated for Grammy’s before over the past couple years, but he hasn’t won one yet. Now he was nominated for three and there was no denying Harry was aching to win just one of them.

“Love it’ll be fine, alright?” Louis said softly, rubbing the younger lad’s thigh. “Win or lose everyone is so proud of you, you’ve worked so hard, that’s all that matters.”

Harry let out a small breath, glancing up towards the presenter on stage before shrugging.

“Hey, look at me,” Louis said, squeezing his leg, and only when Harry’s eyes shifted to his did he continue. “You have no reason to be nervous,” he said almost firmly. “You are an amazing musician with so much talent, there’s no doubt in my mind that you’ll be walking away with every single award you’re put up for tonight.”

Harry opened his mouth, almost about to tell the older lad that he probably won’t win, like every other year he’s come he’ll be knocked out, but Louis quickly stopped him.

“Don’t,” Louis said, recognizing that face anywhere. “No matter what happens it’s gonna be okay,” he said, kissing the younger lad’s cheek and rubbing his back. “You’ll still be the caring, funny and gifted person you are, nothing will change that, this doesn’t make you anything less,” he said softly. “You’re still going to be an amazing songwriter, a great father and boyfriend, it’s all alright,” he said, trying to get this through his head and calm him down. “I’m so incredibly proud of you for being here at all, for getting nominated and for all the work you’ve done for this album. You deserve this H.”

Harry swallowed thickly as he looked at Louis and saw how serious he was, how everything he said he meant completely. And how badly did he want to scream “I love you!!” at the top of his lungs so everyone could hear, so the world knew exactly how he feels about Louis Tomlinson.

But instead he leaned forward and captured the older lad’s lips with his own, letting out a deep breath against him and for the first time at an award show felt his nerves calm.

“Thank you,” he barely breathed out. “You have no clue how happy I am that you’re here, all of you,” Harry said, looking down the row at Holden, his mum and Robin.

“And we’re all happy to be here too,” Louis said through a soft smile as he carded his fingers through the back of the younger lad’s hair. “No matter what happens tonight we all love you,” he said before pecking Harry’s lips and settling back in his seat.

“Oh yeah? All of you love me?” Harry asked with raised eyebrows, a slight smirk coming to him as he looked at the older lad.

Louis rolled his eyes, squeezing Harry’s thigh and leaving that question unanswered for the time being. Instead he focused his gaze back on stage, pretending to actually be watching what was happening until he felt Harry’s eyes off him. Only then did he actually breathe, avoiding that tiny crisis.

But only a half hour later was there an actual crisis because one of the categories Harry was up for was announced, and it was almost immediate the younger lad started freaking out again.

He was holding Louis’ hand so tight he lost feeling in it and for the life of him he couldn’t sit still as they named all the nominees. And just when the winner was about to be announced Harry stilled where he was, Louis not even sure if he was breathing or was just frozen.

“And the winner for Album of the Year is… “Coming Home” Harry Styles!!”

Louis felt himself go numb, Holden going absolutely berserk on his lap and Anne nearly crying, but Harry was just sitting there. His jaw slack, eyes wide and not moving a muscle until Holden was shaking him and screaming “Papa!! Papa you win!!”.

“Harry!!” Louis said excitedly. “Babe that’s you! You won!!” he nearly screamed, unable to control himself as he heard Harry’s name.

Harry opened and closed his mouth, slowly turning to look at Louis and as soon as he saw the older lad nodding at him he didn’t waste a second before lunging at him. He wrapped his arms around him and didn’t even try to hold back his tears as he kissed Louis, the blue eyed lad smiling against him and Harry could feel how proud he was of him, how much this meant to both of them.

He didn’t care if he was kissing Louis on camera, if he looked like a lunatic as he got up to accept his award because he’s been waiting for this moment for years, and now that it was actually here he didn’t believe it.

The grammy on the podium in front of him didn’t seem real, even as he shook the presenters hand and had the award passed to him it was still too good to be true.

“I uhm, first off I want to apologize for crying,” he said sheepishly into the microphone, wiping his wet cheeks and hearing loud laughs erupt from the audience. “I don’t think I can put into words how much this means to me, I never thought this day would come… I just… I want to thank my family of course, my mum who taught me how much hard work really pays off, and my son Holden for being himself and making me happier than I thought I ever could be,” he said through a quiet laugh, catching the toddler’s eye and winking at him. “But the person I really want to thank is my boyfriend Louis,” Harry said softly. “He… He’s everything to me, and we’ve definitely had our ups and downs but at the end of the day he’s always there for me, he’s my home… This album was for my family, so thank you guys for giving me a place to call home when I thought I would never get one back.”

Harry bit his lip, his eyes locked on Louis’ and seeing the older lad close to crying, almost making him cry again. So with one more final thank you to everyone the audience clapped and cheered, Harry picking up his award and heading off stage.

Even with the Grammy in his hand it didn’t feel real. As he made his way back to his seat he was in a type of a daze and the only thing that brought him out of it was Louis’ lips on his once he sat down.

He only wondered about the other two awards and if he could keep himself together for those. Already it’s been an amazing night, but the thought of winning the other two categories and able to share this moment with his family was more than Harry could ever ask for.

But Harry did win another award, this one being for Song of the Year for One Call Away, and yes, he did cry again. This time he must’ve kissed Holden a thousand times, hugged his mum and even cried on Robin’s shoulder for a second before kissing Louis and heading back up on stage to collect his second award of the night.

Of course he thanked his family again, this time adding in his management team, Niall, Ed and Clara and keeping his speech a bit shorter.

At this point though Harry knew it couldn’t get any better than this. He felt like he was on top of the world, that nothing could ruin his mood.

It wasn’t too soon after getting his second award though that he and Ed had to get up and go backstage to get ready to perform. So he kissed Louis, hugged Holden until he was whining and waved to his mum and Robin before heading off with the ginger lad and getting his guitar situated.

The last award he was nominated for was with Ed for Best Pop Collaboration. And to say they both wanted it was a huge understatement. It was for I’m a Mess, and Ed has won Grammy’s before but another couldn’t hurt, and for Harry getting three Grammy’s in one night was a dream come true.

For now though they performed the song, their usual enthusiasm radiating out to the audience who was on their feet and dancing and clapping as they sang along. What Harry really noticed though was Holden right in front of the stage, dancing like no one was watching even though the cameras were focused on him half the time they were performing. He was more than happy the world found the toddler just as adorable as he did, and even Ed was laughing as he saw the 3 year old get twirled by Louis and the two not having a care in the world as they performed.

By the end of it both Harry and Ed were breathless, wide smiles coming over them as everyone was screaming and cheering. But Harry still had one more song to perform so he only had a minute to hand off his guitar, take a quick breather and get in front of his microphone. For once he decided not to play any instruments, wanting to actually walk around and only focus on one thing. So when the soft ring of the piano started it was almost immediate he looked to Holden, this song being for his little guy.

And Holden was quick to recognize the notes to One Call Away, singing at the top of his lungs like he always does when he hears this song, whether it’s on the radio or his papa sings it to him.

Harry couldn’t help the wide smile that came to him as he saw the toddler, and didn’t waste a second before hopping down the stage stairs, still singing into the microphone and the camera following him until he stopped right in front of the 3 year old and knelt down to him.

Holden’s little voice mixed with his papa’s started ringing through the speakers and if anyone said their heart wasn’t melting at the sight on the big screen they were lying. Even if Holden tried to sing “spiderman” than the actual lyric “superman” no one wanted to stop him. If anything everyone was laughing as they heard the 3 year old and saw him raise his eyebrows at his papa like “you know he’s the better superhero”.

Harry couldn’t help but chuckle into the microphone himself as they sang, Holden always telling him to change the words, and after this he might.

The two sang until the song was over, Harry’s eyes catching Louis’ every now and then and the older lad’s soft grin was impossible to miss as he watched the two. With a quick kiss to Holden he went back up on stage though, hearing some of the loudest cheers of the night as he set his microphone back on his stand.

He waved to the crowd, flashing them a quick smile before heading backstage and having to stealthily get back to his seat as the show went on.

As soon as he got back to his seat though Holden was on him, hugging him and refusing to let him go, and he wasn’t the only one. Louis kept trying to kiss him, his mum wanted to hug him and even Ed clapped him on the back and teased him about being a cute dad. And if Harry was being honest he was loving every second of it.

The only thing that made it a bit better was when they were getting ready to announce the award for Best Pop Collaboration.

Like before Harry was still, Louis frozen in his own seat and Ed bouncing his leg nervously, but luckily Holden was there to calm them down and say of course they were going to win, his papa already won everything tonight.

When the two heard their names though it was a like a huge weight was lifted off of Harry’s chest, immediately standing up, punching his fist into the air and squeezing Ed so tightly he wasn’t sure the older lad was breathing.

Three awards… He actually won all three awards and his family was here to share this moment with him. It was surreal and something he would never forget, the way Louis kissed him when he won, how his mum was crying and Holden was saying a very loud “I told you you would win everything!!”.

Now that the award show was done though the only thing Harry had on his mind was to steal Louis away and properly celebrate his winnings tonight. But first he and the older lad had a party to go to, and there was no doubt in his mind that tonight for the first time that felt like forever he was going to get drunk. And oh, he couldn’t wait.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for this update taking so long, I really had to focus on work, school and finals for a bit. I hope everyone in college, uni, or who had finals in general did well on their tests :) Leave comments, share opinions, thanks !! And happy holidays !!


	13. Chapter 13

Louis bit his lip as he looked at Zayn and Liam across from him, trying his hardest to figure out how they would react to what he just told them.

He just landed from LA about two hours ago and he was exhausted, making his brain work a bit slower than normal but he still had an idea as to what the two were thinking. Zayn was a bit wide eyed, looking like he didn’t know what to say, and then there was Liam, clearly trying to bite his tongue so he wouldn’t say anything he regretted.

“So he just… Blacked out?” Zayn asked quietly, leaning forward in his seat like it was a secret.

Louis nodded as he looked down to his hands that were folded on the table. “He didn’t remember a thing, and I mean absolutely nothing from the night before,” he muttered.

“And I’m going to assume he was beyond hungover in the morning,” Liam said in a monotone voice.

“You have no idea,” Louis mumbled into his hands. “Stayed in the bedroom with the blinds shut and could barely utter a couple words to me, just “get me some water”, and that was about it.”

He shifted his gaze to his best mates across from him and they were still wearing the same looks. Zayn that was a bit shocked and Liam just looked angry.

“Well I mean like he won three grammies, that’s a good excuse to celebrate, right?” Zayn asked, trying to see the curly haired lad’s side.

“Yeah, of course,” Louis said without hesitation. “I mean don’t get me wrong I was drinking too and got drunk but he… I dunno, it was just intense.”

“What happened?” Liam asked quietly, seeing that the older lad wasn’t telling them something.

Louis chewed on the inside of his cheek as he looked up at the younger lad through his eye lashes and shrugged. “You know how he gets when he drinks,” he muttered softly. “Just kinda handsy and all over the place and-...” he shook his head, focusing back on his hands on the table.

“Did he do something to you?” Liam asked with furrowed eyebrows, trying his hardest not to sound angry but even Zayn went tense next to him.

“No, no, of course not,” Louis said quickly. “I mean like I was drunk too and you know how we can get a bit carried away with each other…” he trailed off, giving them that silent look. “What’s bugging me about the whole thing is what he was like when we were broken up though… Like Ed said that last night was nothing compared to how he usually is when he goes out, and just that by itself scares me, ya know?”

Liam let out a deep breath into his hands as he nodded to himself, not even able to imagine what Harry is like at the worst of times when he drinks.

“Can you give us the full story? Like what actually happened?” Zayn asked, wanting to piece everything together.

“Yeah,” Louis breathed out, figuring he probably should’ve told them the full story first but was still a bit on autopilot from the flight. “So uhm, after the award show we dropped Holden off back at the house with Anne and Robin and we went right to the party, and I’m not even sure we were there for two minutes before he led me to the bar.”

“I’m sure he was on some type of high from winning,” Zayn nodded, knowing that’s exactly how he would be feeling if he was Harry.

“Oh he was, trust me,” Louis breathed out. “And so we were at the bar drinking and all night these super famous people were everywhere and anytime anyone was taking a shot Harry was right there, taking one with them. It was just drink after drink after drink and he only stopped after he basically passed out on the bar… I mean I was a bit drunk too but at least I was able to talk and walk around.”

“How long were you there before he passed out?”

Louis opened and closed his mouth as he looked up at Liam, this also being a main concern of his. “Maybe two hours,” he muttered. “We didn’t even dance or anything, he just drank and I just kinda sat with him to make sure he was okay.”

“So are you just upset about him blacking out or are you nervous about him drinking too much?” Zayn asked to clarify.

“Well no…” Louis said quietly. “I mean there are just a couple concerns I have… And a few things did upset me, but I just wanted to talk to you guys and meet up to get it off my chest.”

“Of course Lou, we’re always here when you need us,” Liam said, not wanting the older lad to think that them meeting up was a waste of time. “So what’s making you so worried and upset about the whole thing?”

“It scares me how carried away he can get with the drinks in such a short amount of time,” he started off, memories of Harry downing one drink after another flooding his mind and the younger lad not having a care in the world. “And I was a bit upset because in the morning we were all supposed to get up and go to breakfast, and just spend a nice day together because we’d been there for Harry and it was just work, work, work for him. But he couldn’t even roll over in bed without groaning and Holden was disappointed and I was annoyed because he promised him we would do something fun,” Louis explained as he shook his head. “I mean Holden and I spent the day at the beach together and had a good time but I know he wanted Harry there, and I couldn’t explain to him that his father was too hungover to spend time with him, ya know?”

“What’d you tell Holden? That he was sick or something?” Liam asked, thanking the waitress that started passing out their teas on the table before she walked away again.

Louis breathed out a barely audible “yeah” as he nodded and played with his fingers. “And the next day he felt better, but that was also the same day we left, and now here I am while he’s at his flat with Holden…”

“Well did he talk to you about it at all? Like how he blacked out, did he apologize?” Zayn asked before taking a sip of his drink.

“He asked me what happened and why his head hurt,” Louis said quietly. “I mean that’s when I knew he didn’t remember a thing, but I still explained it to him and all he did was nod and go take a shower.”

“That’s so shitty,” Liam muttered as he shook his head. “I mean yeah, he had the right to celebrate because he won three grammies, that’s crazy, like congrats to him, really. But he should’ve kept in mind that you guys had plans the next day, and even think about you when you guys were out. It sounds like he wasn’t paying any mind to you at all, but was more focused on just getting drunk,” he said with raised eyebrows.

Louis looked at his best mate across from him, and he could see the worry flash across Liam’s face, the younger lad thinking he said the wrong thing, or said too much. But Louis found himself nodding along with what he said.

“I wasn’t upset about him celebrating, not at all because he deserved it and I really am proud of him for winning the awards,” Louis said, his eyes still focused on his hands. “But like I said it just makes me nervous how much he drinks and how it affects him.”

“You have the right to worry Lou, I mean you’re a father and that’s kind of scary,” Liam agreed. “Definitely talk to him though, let him know how you’re feeling about it.”

Louis let out a quiet breath as he looked over to Zayn and saw him nodding along. “Well it’s good to know it wasn’t just me who was just overthinking everything… I thought I was just worrying about nothing but it’s good to talk to you guys and get an opinion,” he said, reaching for his coat on the back of his chair and pulling it on.

“Of course mate,” Zayn said, clapping Louis on the back as he got up himself and finished off his drink. “And after you talk to him please go take an 18 hour nap or something, you look exhausted.”

“Yeah, I kind of hate travelling,” Louis mumbled as the three of them began to make their way outside.

“Haven’t noticed,” Liam teased, making the older lad roll his eyes playfully at him.

Louis said a quick goodbye to Zayn as he saw him walking off towards his car, but stopped Liam before he could open his own car door. “Hey mate, wait a second.”

Liam quickly snapped his head up, stopping himself before climbing in his car and looking to the blue eyed lad. “Forget something?”

“Well I… I wanted to uhm, wanted to talk to you about Holden’s birthday,” he said quietly, shifting his weight on his feet. “I know it’s two months away but I wanted to give you some time to think about it, but I was gonna ask if you wanted to come and-”

“Yes!” Liam said immediately. “Yes, of course yes!”

Louis couldn’t help the small laugh that escaped him as he saw the younger lad nearly jumping he was so excited. “Alright that was easy,” he said jokingly. “And I was also going to mention a Rovers football game,” he said, quickly gaining Liam’s attention again. “Harry got us tickets to see them play in London, but he has a show in Brighton and can’t come… I was wondering if you maybe wanted to come with me and H?”

“Sure,” Liam said through a soft smile. “I think the last game we caught we were maybe 19 or 20,” he said chuckled quietly. “When is it?”

“It’s March 15th, so about three weeks from now.”

“I’ll be sure to take off work,” Liam said happily. “And is Harry gonna be home for Holden’s birthday?” he asked with furrowed eyebrows, knowing the toddler’s birthday was in April.

“Yeah, he just has the one show to kind of kick off the tour I guess and then he’ll be here for H’s birthday before actually leaving and doing the first leg through Asia,” Louis explained.

Liam hummed and nodded, knowing he’ll have to physically and mentally prepare himself to see Harry and be near him for a full day. But it’s Holden’s birthday, he was sure the younger lad will be on his best behavior and he will be as well.

“Well I can’t wait for the game and to see Holden,” Liam said as he grinned to himself.

Louis smiled back at him, nodding his agreement before waving to the younger lad and heading towards his car.

He was actually really looking forward to the football game. Granted he was a little upset when Harry said he couldn’t go, but at least he was home for Holden’s birthday, the younger lad made sure of that. But now Liam could go and he would be lying a bit if he said he couldn’t wait to see his hometown team with the guy he grew up watching them with.

As he drove to Harry’s flat though he knew he needed to figure out what he wanted to say to the curly haired lad. He always got stuck with these sort of things, became worked up or nervous, not wanting Harry to get mad at him. But he really wanted to talk about what happened at the party and the day after.

When he pulled up to the flat complex though he had an idea as to what he wanted to say, and he just hoped that the younger lad didn’t take what he was going to say the wrong way.

When he got up to the flat to look around for the curly haired lad though he couldn’t even take two steps out of the lift before feeling a pair of little arms wrap around him.

“Daddy!!” Holden said excitedly, raising his arms and wanting to be picked up.

“Hey buddy,” Louis said through a soft smile, scooping the toddler up and giving him a sloppy kiss on the cheek. “Where’s your father?” he asked, looking around, seeing the younger lad nowhere in sight.

“Me and papa very sleepy so we cuddle and take nap but papa still sleep in bed,” Holden said, pointing down the hall to the bedroom.

“Yeah daddy could use a nap too,” Louis said as he carried the toddler to the bedroom.

And sure enough when he pushed the door open Harry was sprawled out on the bed, snoring lightly to himself and clearly in a very deep sleep.

“Papa wake up! Daddy home!!” Holden nearly yelled, jumping in his father’s arms.

All that was heard in return though was a low groan, the curly haired lad slowly rolling over and just barely opening his eyes. “Hi Lou,” he mumbled into his pillow.

“Hey love, good nap?” Louis asked through a quiet laugh as he carried Holden over to the bed, the toddler immediately running his little fingers through his papa’s curls.

Harry hummed, leaning into the 3 year old’s touch before resting his head on Holden’s lap. “This little guy let me cuddle him to death so I’d say it was pretty good.”

Holden giggled to himself, nodding as his papa wouldn’t let him move at all while they were taking a nap. “It okay papa, love you,” he said, dipping his head and kissing his father’s hair.

“Love you too munchkin,” Harry said, softly smiling up at the toddler and earning one more quick kiss from him. “How was Zayn?” he asked, turning his attention to Louis.

“He was good,” Louis breathed out, kicking off his shoes and joining the two on the bed. “Liam was there too.”

“Why?” Harry asked with furrowed eyebrows at the same time Holden gasped, just at hearing his uncle’s name growing excited.

“Cause I called him and asked to meet up,” Louis shrugged. “He’s actually coming with us to the football game in a few weeks, how fun will that be?” he asked, smiling at Holden who was nearly squealing.

“Yes!! I no see uncle Liam in so so long, I miss him!!” Holden practically yelled.

“I thought Zayn was going to go to the game with you guys,” Harry said as he sat up and looked at the older lad confused.

“Well I thought it would be nice if my mate who’s actually from Donny and likes the team came instead,” Louis said as he laid down on the bed and pulled Holden into his side.

Harry looked at the older lad for a second with raised eyebrows, seeing Louis shrug before he focused his attention on Holden.

“Buddy I have to talk to papa for a bit, can you go play?” Louis asked the toddler.

Holden let out a quiet breath, wanting to cuddle with his daddy for a little bit but nodded anyway and shuffled off to his room.

Louis watched as the 3 year old left the room, making sure he was all the way out before turning to Harry, seeing the younger lad’s eyes already on him. “What?”

“Nothing,” Harry breathed out as he shook his head and laid down on the bed. “What’d you want to talk about?”

“Well uhm I just thought we should talk about what happened in LA,” Louis said quietly, biting his lip and shifting himself on the bed.

“What happened in LA?” Harry asked confused.

Louis kept his eyes on the younger lad for a second, opening and closing his mouth as he at least thought that Harry would want to talk about it too. “About uhm… Well you know, about you blacking out and everything.”

“Oh… Right,” Harry said slowly.

“Yeah, right,” Louis said with raised eyebrows, the younger lad looking everywhere except him. “Babe I just… First off I want you to know how proud I am of you winning those awards-”

“Lou I was just celebrating a bit, that’s it,” Harry said as he shook his head. “It’s nothing more than that.”

“Well… It kind of is,” Louis said quietly. “I mean I’ve never seen you like that H, and I dunno it was a lot.”

Harry bit his lip, giving the older lad a noncommittal shrug as he kept his gaze locked on the foot of his bed.

“Are you gonna say something or just-”

“What do you want me to say Louis?” Harry asked with a touch of edge to his voice. “Like I said I was celebrating and maybe got a bit carried away because I haven’t been able to drink in months, that’s all.”

Louis opened and closed his mouth as he saw Harry push himself off the bed and begin pacing, almost like he was trying to calm down. He didn’t understand why the younger lad was getting so mad so quickly, he didn’t think he said anything wrong.

“H it’s okay, I just wanted to talk about it a little bit, I’m not trying to attack you or say you did something wrong. I’m just-”

“But you are Louis!” Harry said, snapping his head towards the older lad and squaring his eyes at him. “That was the first night in months I was free, I was actually able to let loose and here you are making me seem like a bad guy!!”

“...The first night in months you were free?” Louis said so quietly he wasn’t sure he was heard, his eyes locked on Harry as he got up from the bed. “Harry what the fuck is that supposed to mean?! Have I been locking you up?! Is being a father such a huge inconvenience to your drunken lifestyle?!” he screamed.

And he just watched as Harry stared right back at him, not moving a muscle or making a sound in the now silent and heavy room.

“You’re unbelieveable,” Louis barely whispered, shaking his head as he felt tears pool in his eyes. “Don’t even think about coming anywhere near me and Holden until you’ve figured your priorities out,” he said, already turning on his heel and stomping out of the room to get the toddler.

“Louis…” Harry said quietly, following after the older lad.

“Harry don’t,” Louis said firmly as he pushed open Holden’s bedroom door. “H c’mon, we’re going home.”

Holden pushed himself off the floor and skipped over to his daddy before he got scooped up. But as soon as he was in his father’s arms he noticed him nearly fast walking towards the lift. His papa kept trying to talk to his daddy but if anything he saw his father walking faster and faster.

“Papa come home with us?” Holden asked his daddy softly.

“No buddy, papa is gonna stay here,” Louis breathed out, getting the 3 year old’s shoes on him before slipping his own pair on.

“Lou, listen I’m sorry-”

“Harry,” Louis warned, far too furious to even talk to the younger lad right now.

“Babe…” Harry said softly, his heart nearly breaking at the sight of Louis on the verge of tears. “I just… I didn’t mean-”

“Harry don’t!!” Louis screamed, making the younger lad still and Holden grip at his coat just a bit tighter.

He kept his eyes on Harry, willing his tears not to fall as he shook his head at him and carried Holden towards the lift, praying he could keep himself together at least until he got home.

*~*

Holden glanced towards the stairs as he bit his lip and pet Rob, trying to do something to pass the time.

His daddy told him to play downstairs but since he told him that he hasn’t seen his father, and that by itself worried him. But a second later he heard the doorbell go off, his head snapping up at the noise and carefully pushing himself off the couch.

“Daddy,” he said, glancing towards the stairs, not knowing who was here and that he can’t answer the door without his father.

His head quickly turned back to the door though at hearing it open, growing more and more nervous before he saw a familiar brown eyed man come in.

“Uncle Liam!!!” he screamed, sprinting towards the older man and feeling him immediately scoop him up. “I miss you so so so much,” Holden mumbled into his neck.

“I missed you too buddy,” Liam said through a soft smile, squeezing the toddler so tightly he wasn’t sure if he was breathing. “And you have no clue how badly I want to keep hugging you and I’m gonna give you a million and one kisses but first your daddy needs me. Do you know where he is?”

“I give you a million and two kisses!” Holden said, making his uncle laugh before he pecked his cheek. “And daddy in room. He sad after we say bye bye to papa,” he said quietly.

“Okay big guy,” Liam said softly, rubbing the toddler’s back before carefully setting him down. “Why don’t you go play with Rob and I’m gonna check on daddy. I’ll be back down to play in a little bit.”

Holden nodded at his uncle, making sure to give him one more hug and kiss before he watched the older man head for the stairs.

Liam made his way through the all too familiar house before he reached the bathroom, carefully knocking on the door and hearing a muffled “come in”.

“Lou” he asked softly, popping his head in and immediately seeing the older lad sitting on the floor, his knees pulled into his chest and eyes pink and puffy. “Mate,” he said sadly, immediately going over to him and wrapping his arms around him.

“I-I’m sorry,” Louis sniffled as he shook his head against the younger lad’s chest. “I tried calling Zayn b-but-”

“Stop, it’s more than fine,” Liam said, pulling Louis even closer and rubbing his back. “What happened mate? I thought you were gonna talk to Harry, did you guys get in a fight or something?”

Louis nodded, trying to stop his constant tears and pull himself together. “He just… H-he said some things that made i-it sound like he doesn’t like being a father… T-that Holden and I keep him back from drinking and- a-and- that’s more important than us.”

Liam let out a quiet breath as he looked down at his best mate and gently released him. “I’m sure he didn’t mean it,” he said, not even believing he was sticking up for the younger lad. “Just… I dunno, I don’t want to say anything and make you get upset with me…”

“You don’t have to say anything,” Louis sniffled to himself. “It’s just… It’s what he said and then didn’t say, I-I don’t know what to think.”

“Haven’t heard you say that before,” Liam said slightly joking, trying to lighten the mood a tiny bit. And at least he got a small laugh out of the older lad. “What’d you tell him? Like when he didn’t say anything to you?”

Louis released a few shaky breaths before explaining everything that happened to Liam.

It was nearly impossible not to notice the younger lad going tense at what he told him though. It was clear Liam was holding everything he had in him to not just start screaming, and saying how furious he was with Harry. But if Louis was being honest, he was too.

He didn’t want to get in a fight, he didn’t want Harry to get upset, and now it was so much more than that. Now it wasn’t just about the drinking, the blacking out or breaking his promise to Holden. Now it was about Harry being a father, about how committed he was. And from today Louis wasn’t so sure how serious the younger lad was. He said he cares, says he’ll alway be there, but now Louis didn’t know if Harry really meant it. And that more than anything terrified him.

*~*

Harry let out a deep breath as he looked at the door in front of him, lifting up his fist slowly and knocking gently on the door.

He wasn’t sure if Louis or Holden was up yet, but after not sleeping at all the night before and his mind running a mile a minute he had to come, had to talk the older lad and apologize profusely. Even if he did that though he knew he wouldn’t be that easily forgiven for what happened yesterday.

When no one answered the door though he took out his key for Louis’ house and pushed the door open, carefully looking around the foyer before making his way fully in. But a moment later he heard someone in the kitchen, and Harry didn’t waste any time before rushing into the room, ready to say how sorry he was to Louis before his mouth snapped shut at seeing who was there.

“What are you doing here?” he asked, narrowing his eyes at the older lad.

Liam snapped his head up, stilling for a second as he saw the green eyed lad. “Louis called me yesterday and I stayed over,” he said quietly, looking back to the breakfast he was making.

“And you couldn’t go home because…?” Harry asked with raised eyebrows.

“Because I had a best mate that needed me and a nephew I missed,” Liam said plainly, not picking his head up.

“So now you’re what? You know you can go ho-”

“Harry.”

Harry spun around, his eyes immediately catching Louis’.

The older lad looked exhausted, his hair ruffled, eyes behind his glasses pink and puffy and bags obvious. And he couldn’t even take a step towards Louis without him shaking his head at him and backing away.

“Babe…” Harry barely whispered. “Can we please talk?”

Louis looked at the younger lad for a second before shifting his eyes to Liam, seeing him biting his lip and focusing on what he was making.

“You don’t have to look at him for permission Louis, this is between you and me,” Harry said, stepping in view of Liam and making the blue eyed lad look at him.

“Would you get off your high horse for one fucking second?” Liam muttered, straining not to start yelling at the younger lad for everything he’s done to Louis, not just yesterday but for everything over the past couple of years.

Harry clenched his jaw, looking behind him over his shoulder and just as he was about to say something Louis stopped him.

“Li can you take Holden out for a bit?” he asked quietly. “I’m sure Soph would love to see him.”

“Louis c’mon he doesn’t need to take him,” Harry breathed out as he ran a hand over his face.

“No, actually I think he does,” Louis said, it not being up for discussion and giving Liam a silent look, the younger lad nodding at him and shuffling out of the kitchen to get Holden.

Harry watched as Liam left and it wasn’t until he had a sleeping Holden in his arms and was walking out the door did Louis actually look at him. Even then though he didn’t say anything, just bore his eyes into him and crossed his arms over his chest.

“Louis I don’t… I can’t even begin to say how sorry I am for what happened yesterday,” Harry said, shifting his gaze to the floor.

Louis just looked at the younger lad, didn’t move a muscle or make a peep as he raised his eyebrows at him. He had nothing to say to him, still wasn’t sure if he even wanted to talk or listen to what he had to say.

“I know I can get carried away…” Harry said quietly, seeing as Louis wasn’t saying anything. “And I know the effects drinking has on me, and it makes me angry and someone who just isn’t pleasant to be around, and I’m sorry for that… I’m so sorry about everything. Just yesterday, blacking out, breaking my promise to Holden about going out, just… Everything,” he barely whispered.

And still Louis didn’t say anything, keeping his gaze locked on Harry and clenching his jaw. “Harry what happened yesterday… What you said was really fucked up and frankly it’s making me question how serious you are about being a father, about being in this relationship.”

“Louis you know I’m 100% committed to you and Holden,” Harry said without hesitation, taking a careful step towards the older lad. “I don’t know what I was thinking yesterday, I don’t think I was at all really when I said that… But please, please know that nothing like that will ever happen again.”

“Be more specific,” Louis said, crossing his arms over his chest.

“No more breaking promises,” Harry said almost immediately. “I’m here, I’m yours and Holden’s and nothing in the world makes me happier than having you two in my life,” he said softly, seeing the older lad relax the tiniest bit.

“And the drinking?” Louis asked quietly, biting his lip and looking to the floor. “Because H I didn’t want to fight… I just wanted to sit and talk calmly like people in relationships do. I wanted to share with you what I was thinking and in return you said some things that really really hurt me.”

“I know I…” Harry began, rubbing a hand over his face and almost wanting to hit himself for how awful he was acting the day before. “Louis I don’t have an excuse… All I can say is that it will never happen again, I swear.”

Louis shook his head as he shuffled on his feet, feeling the younger lad’s eyes lock on him.  And he didn’t know how long it would take for him to forgive Harry for yesterday for what he said and didn’t say. Didn’t know if he could believe the younger lad when he promised something because of his track record in the past. But he still listened to Harry, still sat and talked with him about the drinking, and said everything he wanted to yesterday but couldn’t.

He talked about Holden, about being a father and a boyfriend and what that meant. And he was grateful that Harry was listening, that he was clearly sorry about the day before and about what happened in LA. But it wasn’t enough to forgive him. It was like taking ten steps back, going from there and seeing where they end up.

*~*

“These cannot be our seats…” Liam said in shock as he looked around the massive football stadium.

“Uncle Liam papa get bestest seats all the time,” Holden said very seriously, making his daddy laugh.

“Well this will be the first and last time I’ll be thanking Harry Styles,” Liam said jokingly as he shifted the toddler, trying to get him to sit still on his lap as he took his seat next to the blue eyed lad.

“He was really upset he couldn’t make it, but I’m sure he’ll have more fun performing than watching some football team he doesn’t know anything about,” Louis said as he pulled off his coat, showing off his Rovers jersey that Harry got him for Christmas.

Liam hummed his agreement as he wrapped his arms around Holden, trying to still the excited 3 year old that kept bouncing on him. “How are things? Between you guys I mean?” he asked quietly, knowing the two had their fight a few weeks back and they were taking things day by day.

“Good,” Louis breathed out, offering the younger lad a small smile. “Granted about a week after we fought we got in another fight because he didn’t understand why I was being kind of stand offish with him… But we’re okay now.”

“Stand offish as in?” Liam asked with furrowed eyebrows.

Louis glanced down at Holden, making sure he wasn’t really paying attention and thankfully he was more focused on the pitch than them. “I asked him not to sleep over for a bit and ya know like… Certain physical things were stopped,” he said, hoping the younger lad would get his silent message.

“Gotcha,” Liam said through a chuckle. “But now things are back to normal?”

“Yeah, have been for a week or so,” Louis nodded to himself. “I just needed him to understand what he said really hurt me and how serious I am when it comes to this one,” he said, running his fingers through Holden’s hair.

“That’s good though Lou,” Liam said softly. “He should know that not everything he wants can be so easily handed to him.”

Louis bit his lip as he looked over at his best mate and hummed. The past couple weeks have been hard, he’s not going to lie. But with the upcoming month he was at a loss of what could happen.

Harry is here for Holden’s birthday, but after that he leaves for the first leg of his tour, and it’s impossible to predict what will happen. He wished he could be there tonight for his first show in Brighton, but the tickets for the game have been bought for months. And if he was being honest he was really looking forward to spending some real time with Holden and Liam, like the old days.

But of course just as the game was starting Holden nearly begged for his daddy’s phone so he could call his papa, and Louis had no objections. So he handed his phone over the the 3 year old, him immediately facetiming his papa and screaming how excited he was for the game.

He showed his papa the pitch and even pointed out the men that were carrying food and screaming at people to buy it. And Harry must’ve said at least a thousand times how badly he wished he could be there, but all Holden did was wish his papa good luck with his show and told him that he’s the world’s bestest singer, and that he shouldn’t be nervous.

“Papa look!!” Holden said excitedly, seeing the players run down the pitch with the ball. “Daddy say we play football when it warm out and I gon be best football player!”

“You know your daddy was a pretty good player buddy, I’m sure you’ve got some of his skill,” Liam said, nudging Louis and making him shrug sheepishly.

“But Harry’s pretty bad, hopefully you got my genes and not his,” Louis said teasingly, focusing the camera back on them and not the pitch.

“Hey,” Harry whined. “I’m not that bad.”

“Papa you trip upstairs,” Holden said, knowing very well of how clumsy his father is. “When big show over you come home and we play,” he nodded to himself, then he’ll be able to see how bad his papa really is.

“I should be back in the morning big guy,” Harry said quietly, biting his lip.

“What time is the show done?” Louis asked, grateful their seats were in a box and not in the screaming crowd so they could actually talk.

“I should be done around 11 but there’s a party I’m going to with Ed and Niall to celebrate the kick off of the tour.”

Louis bit his lip as he glanced over to Liam, the younger lad clearly hearing Harry over the speaker but kept his focus on the game. “Alright well have fun and remember we’re planning H’s birthday party tomorrow.”

“I know love, just a few drinks and I’m having a driver bring me back to my flat,” Harry said, clearly walking around some huge stadium and looking like he was multitasking, trying to organize something on stage and then offstage.

“Sure,” Louis said quietly. “Well uhm the games on so I’ll call you later, alright?”

“Sounds good,” Harry said, smiling at the camera. “Holden I love you buddy, have fun with daddy.”

“Love you papa!!” Holden said, grabbing the phone from his father and grinning wildly at him.

“Bye love,” Louis said, waving at the camera. “Have fun tonight and good luck,” he said, offering the younger lad a gentle smile.

Harry waved back, seeing Louis, Holden and Liam on the screen. He said one final goodbye but just as he saw Liam about to say goodbye he hung up.

“Alrighty then,” Liam breathed out. “We’re actually really good mates if you haven’t noticed,” he said jokingly.

“Oh yeah, of course,” Louis said, rolling his eyes playfully. “You two are going out for pints later this week aren’t you?”

Liam scoffed, not even able to think about what would happen if he and Harry were alone for more than 10 minutes.

“Daddy! Uncle Liam you no watch game!!” Holden said, hitting both of their legs and scowling at them.

Liam put his hands up in defeat before wrapping his arms around the toddler and kissing his cheek. “My goodness did I miss you and all your sass.”

“Miss you too,” Holden giggled, snuggling into his uncle’s chest.

Louis smiled over at the two, running his fingers through Holden’s hair before focusing back on the game. He couldn’t even say how nice it was to have the two together again, he didn’t think he actually missed Liam this much. But now hanging out with the younger lad again he forgot how much he liked just spending time with him. He was his best mate his entire life after all. And he couldn’t be happier to be at a Rovers game, something he and Liam used to watch and go to all the time.

“Holden did you know that your daddy and I used to work in a stadium like this back in Donny? We did that so we could catch all the games.”

“Really?!” Holden asked wide eyed as he looked at his uncle. “What you job?!”

“We were the people that walked around and sold food or drinks,” Louis said through a small smile. “Uncle Liam and I used to do tricks and everything too. We could juggle bags of chips between each other and throw things really far or behind our backs.”

Holden’s jaw had nearly dropped as he heard his daddy and saw his uncle nodding along. He knew the two were pretty cool, but at hearing that they seemed more awesome than ever.

“You the coolest ever,” he breathed out.

“Oh yeah, we’re the best,” Liam said, bumping his fist with Louis’ and earning a chuckle from the older lad.

“He already knew that though,” Louis said, winking at the toddler.

Holden rolled his eyes, almost needing to hold back a scoff, not meaning to make the two get big heads. “Just watch the game.”

Liam raised his eyebrows at the toddler, knowing he always had a little attitude but it seemed over the past couple months he’s gotten a bit sassier. “Alright boss, whatever you say.”

Louis shrugged and laughed to himself as he glanced over at the younger lad and then down to Holden, the toddler completely engrossed in the game. So he decided to turn his attention to the pitch as well, clapping, screaming and jumping with Holden and Liam  as they watched the players and feeling like he was a teenager again.

*~*

Harry bit his lip as he carefully pushed open the front door, shifting his bag on his shoulder and silently slipping off his shoes. He knew he had to be as quiet as possible, and he was pleasantly surprised when he climbed the stairs they didn’t creak under him.

He made his way to Holden’s bedroom, stepping in and poking his head behind the door. He was a bit confused when he didn’t see the toddler in his bed though, looking around the room and not seeing his son anywhere. So he backed out of the room, furrowing his eyebrows as he walked quickly down the hall and to Louis’ room to see if he was possibly sleeping with the older lad. But when he pushed the door open he only saw Louis sprawled out on the bed, laying on top of the covers and in nothing but his boxers.

“Lou,” he whispered, walking over to the bed and rubbing his back gently. “Love, wake up.”

Louis quickly picked his head up, his hair all tousled and sleep filled his eyes before they grew wide at seeing the younger lad. “Harry!” he said, immediately sitting up and wrapping his arms around him. “How was the show?! What’re you doing here?! I thought-”

“I wanted to come home,” Harry said through a quiet laugh as he tucked his head into the older lad’s neck. “Where’s H though? I went into his room and he wasn’t there.”

“Oh, he’s at Liam’s,” Louis said, tangling his fingers in the back of Harry’s curls. “After the game Holden wouldn’t leave his side and Liam offered to take him and I didn’t object. Not gonna lie though, I’ve been pretty lonely all night.”

“Really?”

“Well yeah, H was gone, you had your show, Zayn is-”

“No, no, I mean about Liam with Holden,” Harry said, pulling away from the older lad to look at him.

“What’s so weird about that?” Louis asked confused.

Harry opened his mouth, not wanting to say the wrong thing but at the same time needing to talk to Louis about what he was thinking. “I just… That’s a lot of time with Liam.”

“I guess,” Louis said through a chuckle. “I mean we used to spend all our time with him and Soph, it’s like the old days.”

Harry hummed to himself, getting up from the bed and pulling his clothes off to get ready for bed.

“What’s wrong?... I’m so happy you’re home but you don’t seem all that happy to be here,” Louis said quietly.

“No, no, I am, believe me,” Harry rushed out. “It’s just… Liam… And him being him and what he did, I’m still not… To put it simply I kind of hate him.”

“Well it’s not about you, it’s about Holden,” Louis said with raised eyebrows as he watched the younger lad change. “And yes, I know what he did was wrong and you’re still upset and hurt over it but if you were actually willing to talk to him he would tell you how sorry he was… He’s trying really hard to make amends Harry and you shutting him out and being cold towards him isn’t helping anyone.”

Harry let out a deep breath as he shook his head, the absolute last thing he wanted was to talk to Liam, to hear his excuses. “Louis I don’t want to be his mate, I don’t want to talk to him…”

“I’m not forcing you too H, I’m just saying that he is trying and you’ll be seeing more of him.”

“I’m assuming he’ll be at Holden’s birthday,” Harry breathed out as he climbed into bed next to the older lad.

Louis hummed, immediately rolling over so he was resting his chin on Harry’s chest and looking up at him. “Play nice love. We’ll have a houseful of 3 year olds running around and I don’t think a brawl between a popstar and a boxer turned doctor is something they need to see,” he said, combing his fingers through the younger lad’s curls.

“Liam used to box?” Harry asked with furrowed eyebrows. “Well shit, I hit him that one time and he fell pretty easily, he must’ve sucked,” he said through a quiet laugh.

“He stopped when we were 23 so he’s a bit rusty, but I don’t think anyone thought you would actually throw punch.”

“Yeah well I was a bit mad,” Harry said, running his hand down the older lad’s bare back. “And no worries about H’s birthday, I’ll be on my best behavior. This is my first birthday spent with him after all,” he said through a soft smile.

Louis bit his lip, trying to hold back his own grin as he looked up at the younger lad. “You have no clue how happy I am that you’re here,” he said so quietly he wasn’t sure Harry heard him. “Just now and for his birthday… For everything.”

“Me too,” Harry said softly, kissing Louis’ forehead gently and wrapping his arms around him tightly. “I actually checked in with Holden’s birthday present and everything's ready to go.”

Louis had to almost hold back a groan as he heard the younger lad, still not sure how he felt about this present. “You don’t think it’s too much? I mean that’s a big gift Haz and he’s only turning 4-”

“Lou it’s perfect! C’mon he’ll love it, and when you saw it you nearly squealed so shush up.”

“Whatever,” Louis said, rolling his eyes. “We’ll discuss this more in the morning, plus we have lots and lots of planning to do for that bugger of a boy we call our son,” he said, tilting his head up and pecking Harry’s lips.

Harry groaned playfully, earning a light hit to the chest from the older lad. “But while he’s gone for the night and the house is empty we can take advantage of it,” he said through a slight smirk. “Won’t have to try to be quiet or anything…”

Louis felt his cheeks heat as he felt the younger lad’s hand trailing lower and lower down his backside. He did nothing but hum though, shifting himself so he was hovering over Harry and dipping down to connect their lips. And Louis thought that maybe Harry wouldn’t mind Holden going over to Liam’s house so much if they got to do this, he knew he didn’t mind himself, not in the slightest.

*~*

“Okay! Okay, alright! Be- just careful-” Louis said quickly seeing a hoard of toddlers run up the stairs, hoping they wouldn’t trip over each other or Rob.

“Love relax,” Harry whispered through a chuckle as he wrapped his arms around the older lad’s waist and squeezed at his sides. “They’re having a great time, no one is gonna get hurt, it’s fine.”

Louis let out a deep breath as he nodded, not wanting to think about the stains on his furniture from the kids’ finger painting earlier or the mess in his kitchen from when they all made their owns pizzas.

“Liam is with them upstairs anyway, so hopefully the playroom won’t get too trashed,” he muttered.

Harry hummed, taking a swig of his beer and glancing towards the stairs. “Seems like Holden won’t let him out of his sight.”

“He’s missed him these past couple months,” Louis shrugged, rubbing the younger lad’s back before pecking his cheek and making his way towards the kitchen to try to tidy up.

Harry released a small breath as he followed after Louis, offering smiles to some of the other parents that were just hanging around. “Babe how much beer did you pick up?” he asked, shaking his empty bottle before placing it on the counter and searching the fridge for a new one.

“I got a case for you, should be in there,” Louis said quietly as he wiped the table, if possible finding more paint than flour on it.

“Perfect,” Harry breathed out, pulling a bottle out of the fridge before walking over to the older lad and kissing his cheek. “Love don’t even bother, I’ll call someone to clean this place up tomorrow, don’t stress about it.”

“Do you know who I am? Of course I’m going to stress about it,” Louis laughed to himself as he shook his head.

“Well stop and come join the party,” Harry mumbled into Louis’ hair, kissing his temple, ear, cheek, down his neck-.

“Alright, alright, enough of that, we have children around,” Louis said, trying to hide his blush as he pushed the younger lad away. “Why don’t you go check on H? Make sure him and those little tyrants haven’t broken anything else.”

“If I must,” Harry huffed, making sure to give one final peck to the older lad before walking off towards the stairs. “How’re we doin guys? Did we trash the place yet?” he asked, popping his head in the playroom and hearing squealing and screaming children as Liam was play wrestling with Holden.

Harry watched the two, taking a quick swig of his beer before walking fully into the room. “What’re you doin buddy?” he asked over the yelling kids.

“I beat up uncle Liam!!!” Holden said, lunging at the older man and making him fall off his knees and to the ground.

“C’mere you monster! You won’t win that easily!!” Liam said, scooping the toddler into his arms and pulling him to the floor.

“Hey! Hey! Be careful, would ya,” Harry said, nearly stomping over to the older lad and standing Holden up.

“Papa stop,” Holden groaned, going back into his uncle’s arms and clinging to his neck “You go, we play.”

Harry felt his jaw go slack, looking between Holden and Liam, the brown eyed lad refusing to pick his head up. “You want me to go?”

“I play with uncle Liam, you go downstairs,” Holden said, already focusing on his uncle and trying to get his attention.

“Sure…” Harry said quietly, it clear Holden didn’t really want him there right now. “I’ll get you when we’re ready for cake and presents.”

Holden didn’t say anything though, instead was a bit more focused on climbing on his uncle’s back and trying to get him to play again.

“Harry wait, it’s-”

Harry just shook his head at Liam before offering all the kids a quick smile, sipping at his beer and walking out of the room.

“Harry!” Liam called after him, getting Holden off him and telling him to play with his friends before jogging after the younger lad. “Harry c’mon, please, just talk to me for five seconds.”

“And I should do that because?” Harry asked, already walking down the stairs, trying to get away from him.

“Because I’m trying to make things right,” Liam said, ignoring the concerned looks sent from Louis and Sophia as he followed Harry into the empty kitchen. “It’s what's best for Holden and Louis if we can get along or at least are able to talk to each other without wanting to throw a punch.”

Harry spun around to the older lad, narrowing his eyes and stepping dangerously close to him. “What the hell do you know about what’s best for Louis and Holden?” he asked through gritted teeth.

Liam opened his mouth, swallowing thickly as he carefully backed away from him. “I was there for them when you left…” he barely whispered. “I’ve seen Louis in his darkest days and was there when Holden said his first words, took his first steps-”

“And it’s your fault I wasn’t there for that!!” Harry yelled, slamming his beer on the counter and making the older lad jump. “If you hadn’t-”

“Harry if you fought for him things would be different!” Liam said, raising his own voice. “You had his phone number and if you were still so in love with him, so tortured by what had happened why didn’t you call him?! Why didn’t you fight for him?!”

Harry just looked at the older lad, his hands forming into fists at his sides as he shook his head.

“I’ve had my fair share of mistakes and I’ll be spending the rest of my life trying to make everything right,” Liam said quietly. “But you… All you do is whine and wait for things to go your way.”

“What?” Harry said, narrowing his eyes at the older lad.

Liam shook his head as he bit his lip and looked down to his shoes, thinking about what he was going to say. “Harry you’re all talk,” he said simply. “When you and Louis were dating all those years ago do you really think you would’ve given everything up?” he asked with raised eyebrows. “You really would’ve given up the fame, the money, the record deal? Instead of being a musician what would you have done? Been a music teacher like Niall?-”

“Stop...”

“Without Louis you wouldn’t have even been recognized,” Liam said, taking a step closer to the younger lad. “You weren’t trying as hard as you could’ve been to get signed, and like everything else in your life your fame was handed to you… I don’t believe for one second that you would leave that all behind for Louis, that-”

“I love him,” Harry said almost firmly. “You have no idea what I would do for him, how much-”

“You would have stopped the tour if you knew he was pregnant?” Liam asked as he crossed his arms over his chest. “You would have stayed at home to be a father and not a rockstar?”

“Yes,” Harry said through gritted teeth.

“I don’t believe you,” Liam shook his head. “You would have hated Louis for holding you back, for making you give up your dream. No matter what you were bound to hurt him in some way and I knew that… And after the way you left, after the way you so easily jumped to conclusions and refused to listen to him I had to keep him from you.”

Harry clenched his jaw as he heard the older lad and sent him a hard glare. “You don’t know anything about me… You can’t think this shit and -”

“Harry I know you,” Liam said, almost needing to hold back a laugh. “Oh, do I know you... Harry Styles, gets sloshed and drunk off his ass to forget the pain his boyfriend caused him… The pain of him “cheating” even though you made all that up in your head… Drinking to get over him running away after you kissed him and was too self centered to see that he was scared beyond belief… You push the blame off yourself and whine and kick your feet like a child to get what you want, and say poor me, look at me and how hurt I am… But you don’t know pain Harry, not like Louis does, and you never will.”

Harry swallowed thickly, unable to move and his breath coming up short as he listened to Liam, not able to think of anything to say.

“You have no idea what his life has been like Harry,” Liam said quietly, looking to the floor so the curly haired lad wouldn’t see his eyes pooling with tears. “It seems like no one understands what he’s been through, and that no one cares because over and over again he gets hurt… I did what I did because I thought I was protecting him and Holden. And I’m not gonna lie, you have no idea how many times I wanted to tell him about the email address… How many times I myself wanted to reach out and tell you.”

“Why didn’t you?” Harry asked, his throat tight and words barely coming out.

Liam bit his lip as he shook his head, begging his tears not to fall. “When Holden was born… Y-you have no idea how many times I found Louis sobbing on the nursery floor, Holden wailing in his arms and Lou crying out your name, begging for you to come back, to come home… And the next morning I’d see your face plastered on every magazine and on every news station with you drunkenly stumbling around with some boy or girl wrapped around you. And you still can’t figure out why I didn’t want you near him. You didn’t deserve him Harry, and frankly I still don’t think you do,” he said, making the younger lad’s head snap up to him. “He deserves someone who is willing to fight for him, do anything for him and love him unconditionally because life hasn’t been fair to him, not in the slightest. And I know I have some part in hurting him and hurting you… And I’m sorry.”

Harry looked at the older lad and he didn’t know what to say, didn’t know if he could say anything at all. But it seems as though he didn’t have to say anything because it turned out Liam wasn’t finished.

“Listen I uh, I know you love him… And I’m almost 100% sure he’s never stopped loving you,” Liam said quietly, finally meeting Harry’s eyes. “I just hope for the sake of everyone that this time it works out… This time you’ll fight for him, and not just when you need to but everyday… He deserves at least that.”

And Harry didn’t want to say it, say that Liam was right, but he was. But right now what he really wanted to do was find Louis and tell him what he’s been aching to for weeks now.

“I never thought I’d be saying this, but thank you…” he barely whispered. “But I uh, I have to go find Lou,” Harry said, already walking past Liam and heading into the living room.

His eyes almost immediately caught Louis’, the older lad having a look of worry sketched across his face but he didn’t waste a second before heading right for him, wrapping his arms around the blue eyed lad and pulling him in for a deep kiss.

“Harry, H,” Louis mumbled against him through a small laugh, gently pushing on his chest. “What’re you doing love? What got into you?” he asked, wrapping his arms around the younger lad’s neck.

Harry opened his mouth, the only thing coming out being a quiet chuckle though as he leaned his forehead against Louis’. “I love you,” he breathed out through his widening grin. “What’s gotten into me is that I love you and I love our family and the life we have together and that there is nothing more that I need than you and our son by my side.”

Louis stilled in Harry’s arms, his jaw going slack and breath coming up short. “You love me,” he barely whispered, trying to get it through his head. “And you decided to tell me in the middle of our son’s 4th birthday party?”

“Uh yeah well I uhm, I just had a little talk with someone and felt like it was time I tell you,” Harry said quietly as he bit his lip, Louis looking at him confused before he searched around the room.

The older lad’s eyes locking on Liam and all he got from the brown eyed lad was a small smile and nod before focusing his attention back on Sophia.

“And I’m gonna keep telling you over and over again until you tell me to shut up,” Harry said through a quiet laugh, pulling Louis impossibly closer to his chest and kissing his hair. “I love you Louis Tomlinson, I never stopped.”

Louis could feel his face heating up, having to bite back a wild grin as he slowly picked his head up to look at the younger lad. “I-”

“Daddy!! Papa!! We want cake!” Holden nearly yelled, crashing into his fathers and tugging on both their shirts.

“Perfect timing as usual,” Louis muttered, earning a quiet laugh from Harry. “Alright big guy, lead all your friends to the table, we’ll get cake,” and it wasn’t even a second later the 4 year old was screaming for all of his friends to follow him.

“And here I thought a stadium full of people was bad, who knew 3 year olds were worse,” Ed said, making the adults in the room laugh before they all walked after the kids.

“You’ll get used to it, just stick around long enough,” Zayn said, clapping the ginger haired lad on the back and getting a hum of agreement from Louis.

“Daddy!! Cake!”

Louis rolled his eyes playfully but made his way into the kitchen to get his demanding son’s cake. He made sure someone was videotaping and taking pictures of everything as he carried the cake out and placed it in front of Holden.

“Papa guitar! Sing!” Holden clapped his hands together excitedly.

“Alright you little bugger,” Harry muttered through a small smile, expecting this from the 4 year old and reaching for his guitar that rested against the wall. “On three, everyone ready?” he asked, looking to all the excited kids at the table.

All the kids and Ed said a very loud “yes!!” so Harry took that as a go ahead to start counting. And it was only a second later everyone was singing, Holden’s smile blinding and Louis making sure he was getting everything on camera.

As they sang it was impossible for Harry to stop his own growing smile, never so grateful to be where he was. His son was 4 and he was lucky enough to celebrate the day with him, and the man he loves most in the world finally knows exactly how he feels about him. Even though Louis didn’t necessarily say it back, Harry was sure he was about to, and that was more than good enough for him.

After singing was done Louis and Liam started passing out cake and they weren’t sure if Holden even had his piece for more than a minute before half of it was on his face and was then trying to kiss his daddy to make him messy just like him.

Louis was quick to avoid that though, urging his son to eat his cake instead of chasing him around. And luckily Holden didn’t need to be told twice before shoving even more cake in his mouth.

It wasn’t long after all the kids had sufficient sugar rushes that the passing out of presents began, and there were plenty of presents that had to be opened.

Anne and Robin were there, as was Gemma, Charlie, Ed, Zayn, Niall, and about 20 kids who all brought presents. Of course when Holden opened all his presents he said, or screamed his thank yous before hugging who ever it came from. And it was almost impossible not to aww at the sight of the 4 year old hugging all of his little friends and family. When it came to his last present though Louis grew a bit nervous, looking to Harry and earning a wink from the younger lad before he got Holden’s attention.

“Alright buddy, daddy and I have one more present for you, are you ready?” Harry asked, trying to hold back his growing smile.

“Yes!!” Holden said excitedly.

Harry almost skipped off to the other room, leaving everyone confused and Louis bouncing anxiously on his heels. “Happy birthday H,” he said softly, coming back into the room with the toddler’s present.

Everyone in the room stilled, Louis biting his lip nervously as he looked over to Holden and saw the 4 year old’s jaw slack.

“[A puppy](http://static1.squarespace.com/static/52964085e4b0d642edd58fcf/t/529ea12ae4b05941a0adb0c2/1386127662417/m2.jpg)!!!” he screeched, bounding out of his chair and sprinting towards his papa. “Oh my goodness look at it!!” Holden yelled, jumping up and down as his father placed the puppy down and it started licking him all over his face.

“This little girl’s name is Addi, what do you think buddy?” Harry asked as he watched his son with the tiny dog, Holden’s smile growing every second that passed.

“I love her,” Holden barely whispered, trying to hug the little puppy to his chest. “Thank you daddy, thank you papa, I love you!!” he squealed.

Louis had to let out a breath of relief as he saw how happy Holden was, he doesn’t know why he was so worried in the first place. Maybe it was the whole now he has not only a toddler to look after but a puppy to house train as well that was a bit nerve wracking. Just at Holden’s face though it was all more than worth it.

“See? He loves her, I told you he would,” Harry said, coming up to the older lad and kissing his cheek gently.

“You know how I worry,” Louis breathed out through a small laugh, seeing all the kids try to get Addi’s attention and play with her. “She is super cute though, you outdid yourself.”

“Hopefully Rob will find her cute. He’s been hiding from the kids all day, I wonder what he’ll do when he sees her.”

“Hopefully be nice,” Louis said, his head snapping up at hearing Holden let out a loud giggle and seeing Addi licking him all over his face. “He’s Rob after all, he’s a little fluff ball of love.”

Harry hummed his agreement, needing to hold back a laugh at seeing Ed and Niall trying to roll around with the dog but instead got stepped all over. “You know who else is a little fluff ball of love?” he asked, earning a confused look from the older lad. “Me,” Harry said, dipping his head and kissing Louis softly. “I love you.”

Louis smiled against the green eyed lad, tangling his fingers in the back of his curls and pulling him in a bit closer. “I… Well I love you too,” he barely whispered.

Harry was almost bouncing in his shoes as he heard the older lad, pulling him in for heavy kiss. “Say it again,” he mumbled against him, Louis laughing into his mouth as he pecked his lips a few more times.

“I love you Harry Styles,” Louis said, pulling gently at the hairs at the nape of the younger lad’s neck. “As crazy as it sounds, I love you.”

“I love you too papa!!” Holden said, clinging to his father’s leg. “And you daddy!”

Louis rolled his eyes fondly as he scooped the 4 year old into his arms and kissed his cheek. “Love you too munchkin.”

“And thank you for Addi! She’s the most perfect puppy ever!!” Holden said, wrapping his arms around both his fathers’ necks and pulling them close.

“Of course buddy,” Harry said softly, kissing Holden’s cheek and hugging him back. “Lots of love going around today huh?” he asked, sending a small smirk over to Louis.

“I love love,” Holden nodded, giving the two one more quick hug before wiggling out of his daddy’s arms, wanting to play with his puppy some more.

Louis smiled to himself as he watched his son run off, and his smile could only grow as he felt Harry wrap his arms around him and kissed his neck. He really didn’t think the day could get any better, but that was right before their special guest Spiderman showed up and Holden was close to tears at seeing the man in costume.  They were happy tears of course, but tears none the less, and Louis got everything on camera.

It was a day he was sure Holden would never forget, from getting a puppy to meeting Spiderman. Louis knew he himself could never forget today, hearing Harry say he loves him and seeing the green eyed lad and Liam be in a room together and try not to kill each other. And if later that night Harry was ridding them of their clothes faster than his heaving breaths were coming out at least in between kisses, gentle touches and silent pleas Louis could gasp out his “I love you’s” and feel Harry’s lips press his own “I love you’s” into his skin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for updates taking so long, the only days I can write are Mondays and every other Friday. I'll try to be faster, I swear ! Thoughts on the chapter ? Leave comments, share opinions, thanks !!


	14. Chapter 14

“Daddy can I get a leash like Addi’s for Rob?” Holden asked asked as he skipped along the pavement, his father’s hand firm in his and Addi walking all over place, or at least as far as the leash would let her.

“And why do we need a leash for Rob?” Louis asked, his eyes trained on the little puppy, praying she would just go to the bathroom already.

“So he can go on walks,” Holden said like it was obvious.

Louis furrowed his eyebrows as he looked down at the 4 year old and tried not to laugh at how serious he was. “Buddy you don’t take cats on walks.”

“Why?” Holden asked confused. “If puppies go walks so can cats.”

Louis opened his mouth to answer, but found that he couldn’t think of a reason as to why cats don’t go on walks. “You know what? I don’t know why cats don’t go on walks… They just don’t,” he shrugged.

“Next time we take Rob with us,” Holden nodded to himself, reaching for Addi’s leash from his daddy and smiling widely as his puppy walked beside him.

“Yeah… We’ll see about that,” Louis said through a small laugh, ruffling the toddler’s hair and watching Addi to make sure she wouldn’t pull Holden all over the place.

Holden looked up at his daddy, eyeing him for a minute as he recognized that tone of voice anywhere, knowing his father wouldn’t actually let him take Rob on a walk. Well, at least he had Addi to walk.

“Daddy where’s papa?” he asked quietly. “How come he no come on walk with us?”

“You know he’s at a meeting buddy, his tour starts in a week and he has to get ready for it,” Louis said, biting his lip and squeezing the 4 year old’s hand gently.

“Oh yeah…” Holden said, looking down to his shoes and feeling Addi tug at the leash.

Louis shifted his gaze to the 4 year old, letting out a small breath as he could clearly see how upset Holden was just at the thought of Harry leaving. He knew it was going to be hard for the toddler, hard for all of them, but he really worried for Holden.

“Hey,” he said softly, squeezing Holden’s hand gently. “What’re you thinkin about buddy? Talk to me.” 

Holden kept his eyes on Addi as she walked around but could still feel his father watching him. “Papa gonna go away for long time and I gonna miss him…” he said quietly. “I no want papa to go.”

Louis nodded, wrapping his arm around the 4 year old and pulling him into his side as they walked down the pavement. “I don’t want him to go either big guy… But just think about it, after this tour he’s home for good.”

“I know,” Holden breathed out, leaning against his daddy’s side. “But he still going away for long time and I no know when we see him again.”

“It’s not like we won’t see him at all while he’s on tour buddy,” Louis said, rubbing his back. “The first part of the tour will be the hardest but after that we’ll be with papa for a little bit.”

“How long papa be gone?” Holden asked quietly.

“Well he’ll be in Asia for about two months, Australia for another month, and then he’ll be home for about a week.”

“I no know where those places are daddy! Will papa even be on same planet?!” Holden groaned.

Louis couldn’t help but throw his head back as he laughed, having to quickly quiet himself though as he saw how serious Holden was. “Well when we get home we’ll set up a map, I’ll show you where papa will be so you’ll know and we can put pins in it and hang it up. And yes, he’ll be on the same planet.”

“Good,” Holden muttered through his own smile. “And uncle Liam and aunt Sophia get marry soon, papa home for that?”

“I don’t know yet buddy, papa is still trying to figure that out,” Louis breathed out, too many dates, times and schedules to keep track of for one person. “Addi! Finally, thank you! My God!!” he said happily, seeing the puppy going to the bathroom.

Holden had a little hand on his chest, his father nearly giving him a heart attack. “Daddy please,” he huffed, trying to breathe again. “And good girl Addi,” Holden said, smiling down at his puppy, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a treat for her. 

Louis couldn’t fight his smile as he watched Holden with Addi, the toddler taking to her very quickly and doing well with the responsibility of her. He’s always making sure she’s fed at the right time and goes out when she needs to. And most importantly Holden makes sure both Addi and Rob have his attention, constantly playing with the two of them and making sure they got along. It wasn’t all that hard after all, the two animals were constantly near each other, always following Holden around wherever he went or sleeping next to each other. Just as he was thinking so highly of his son though he saw the 4 year old just staring up at the sun.

“Buddy, stop that,” he said, nudging the toddler, not wanting him to go blind.

“But I see colors,” Holden giggled, going a little dizzy from just looking at the bright light.

“Yeah, that’s not good,” Louis said, rolling his eyes, taking Addi’s leash and scooping Holden up. “I’d rather keep those lovely green eyes working,” he said, giving the 4 year old a sloppy kiss on his cheek.

Holden groaned as he felt his father on him, telling him time and time again that because he was 4 he was a big boy now and that meant keeping kisses to the minimum.  But because no one was around he supposed he could let this one slide.

*~*

“Rob, Addi! Off! Me and papa cuddle,” Holden said, shooing the two animals off the couch who were hogging his father’s attention and taking their place on his chest.

Harry groaned and laughed to himself as he felt the animals scurry off him and his son not so gracefully climb on his chest. “You know I was napping so peacefully before you came along,” he teased as he adjusted the 4 year old him. “My goodness you’re getting big.”

“Well I 4 now papa, so that means I big,” Holden said as he rolled his eyes, thinking his papa should know this.

“Oh, of course it does,” Harry said in mock seriousness.

Holden narrowed his eyes at his father before letting out an annoyed breath and laying his head down on his chest. “I be mad at you but you go away soon so I no want to be mad,” he mumbled.

Harry bit his lip as he looked down at the 4 year old, his piercing green eyes focused right back on him. “I’m gonna miss you so much buddy,” he barely whispered, pressing a gentle kiss to Holden’s forehead and rubbing his back.

He could feel Holden wrap his arms around him, but when he felt tears on his neck he looked back down at the toddler, only to see Holden biting his lip and trying desperately not to cry.

“C’mere,” he said, pulling Holden into his chest, kissing his head and rubbing his back as he felt the 4 year begin to really cry. “It’s okay buddy, it’s alright,” Harry said, wanting him to calm down, but as soon as he said it the 4 year old was shaking his head and letting his tears fall faster and faster.

“P-papa don’t go,” Holden hiccuped into his neck.

Harry let out a small breath, trying to think of anything to say to make Holden feel better, and just as he opened his mouth he saw Louis come in the room. The older lad looked like he was about to say something himself but grew confused at seeing Holden crying. Harry just shook his head at him though, mouthing a quick “give us a second” before Louis looked at the 4 year old sadly, nodded and walked back out of the room.

“H…” he said softly, wanting the toddler to look at him, and when he did he gently wiped his tears away. “I don’t like seeing you cry buddy, please,” Harry nearly begged.

But again all Holden did was shake his head, wrap his arms around his papa’s neck, never wanting to let him go and letting out shaky breaths against him.

“Holden I know this is hard big guy, it’s hard for all of us,” Harry said quietly, hugging and kissing the 4 year old so he would calm down. “But I would really like to spend my last night here with you and daddy, having a good time and not crying… Do you think we can do that?”

Holden hiccupped against his papa as he wiped his tears and nodded. “I-I can try.”

“Okay, thank you buddy,” Harry said, kissing his son’s head and gently sitting them up. “I love you big guy, it’s okay, we’ll have an amazing night,” he said softly.

“I know,” Holden sniffled. “I gonna go clean my face, I gross. Then we go,” he said wiping his little hands over his face shuffling off his father’s lap. “Oh, and I love you too papa.”

Harry smiled to himself as he felt the toddler kiss his cheek and then scurry off to the bathroom. And it was only a second later he saw Louis appear in the doorway, biting his lip and arms crossed over his chest as he looked right back at him.

“You’re not gonna cry too, are ya love?” Harry asked, sending the older lad a small grin as he pat the seat next to him.

“I dunno, this entire week I’ve been holding it in,” Louis muttered as he sat next to Harry and rested his head on his shoulder. “After you leave tomorrow I’ll probably drop Holden off at Zayn’s or Liam’s and just sit on my bed with a bottle of vodka and some ice cream, and cry until I pass out.”

Harry raised his eyebrows at that before holding back a small laugh and shaking his head. “Lou c’mon, you guys are acting like you’ll never see me again.”

“Well Harry 3 months is… It’s a long time…” Louis barely whispered as he focused his gaze to the floor.

“But I’m coming back,” Harry said softly, pressing a gentle kiss to the older lad’s temple and rubbing his back.

“Yeah, for a week before you jet off again,” Louis said through a sarcastic laugh as he shook his head.

Harry opened his mouth to say something, but before he could Louis beat him to it.

“No, no, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that,” Louis mumbled into his hands. “We’ve talked about this so many times, and I understand this is what you have to do to get a real break… I’m just gonna miss you so much…” he said, holding everything in him s he wouldn’t let his tears slip.

“And don’t think for one second that I won’t miss you, both of you,” Harry whispered into the older lad’s hair. “But let’s not talk about me leaving right now… Why don’t we go get ready for the night and spend the time we have together focused on just us?”

Louis let out a quiet breath but nodded anyway before pecking Harry’s lips and pushing himself off the couch, needing to find Holden and get him ready as well.

For the past week the three have spent every waking second together, except when Louis was teaching, but even then Harry and Holden would snatch him away for lunch. It’s not like he or Holden minded, not in the slightest with Harry leaving and being gone for 3 months. So the past week has been nights out to nice restaurants, the trampoline park, movie marathons and more sugary snacks than Louis thought possible. And this past week he’s let it go because Harry was leaving and the younger lad was trying to do anything to make sure he made this week fun and memorable for Holden. Tonight being Harry’s last night home though he planned a nice dinner at some fancy restaurant before heading back home for whatever movie Holden picks out and cuddles on the couch.

But right now they all to get ready, and Louis almost didn’t want to, just because if he got ready and they went out then that meant time was really passing, and that was the last thing he wanted.

Louis wished he could freeze time, wished that Harry wasn’t leaving and they weren’t putting on some fancy suits to go out for what will be last time for 3 months.  But he couldn’t freeze time, and they were putting on suits, and tomorrow Harry would be jetting off to some place in Asia Louis doesn’t know how to pronounce. Tomorrow he’ll be worlds away, and there was nothing Louis could do but spend one more night with his boyfriend and make the moments they had left together last.

“Love.”

Louis snapped his head up, his eyes immediately catching Harry who was looking at him worriedly.

“You okay?” Harry asked quietly. “H and I are already dressed up, we’re just waiting on you,” he said, rubbing the older lad’s back as he saw him just in his tank top and dress pants.

“Sorry, yeah, yeah, m’fine,” Louis said as she shook his head. “Just lost in my thoughts I guess.”

Harry let out a small breath as he kept his eyes on Louis and bit his lip. But he nodded at the older lad anyway, kissing his cheek gently before letting him finish getting ready.

“Papa I think I have more fancy clothes than shirts,” Holden mumbled as he looked down at his suit and walked into the bedroom.

Harry looked down at the 4 year and couldn’t help the quiet laugh that escaped as he knelt to his son’s height and fixed his tie. “That’s what happens when your papa is a popstar and likes to spoil you with nice things,” he teased.

Holden hummed his agreement as he stayed completely still, letting his father do whatever he needs to do to fix him. “Daddy I like you suit too, very handsome.”

Louis offered his son a small smile as he buttoned up his shirt, not even fully in his suit yet. “Thank you buddy, you look very handsome too,” he said, sending his son a wink.

“I know, I try sometimes,” Holden breathed out as he pushed his fingers through his hair. “I think my eyes make me most handsome.”

Both Louis and Harry turned to the 4 year old, raising their eyebrows at him and then looking to each other almost shocked.

“Well you do have those famous green eyes,” Louis muttered, keeping his eyes on Harry and smiling at him.

“And dimples,” Harry added, grinning back at the older lad.

“Hey,” Holden said, hitting his papa’s leg. “We talk about me, stop look at each other.”

Louis looked back down at the toddler and rolled his eyes at him. “You’re being quite sassy and full of yourself here mister, relax.”

“Well it no my fault papa handsome and daddy handsome and you make me so I handsome,” Holden said in a matter of fact tone.

Louis snapped his gaze Harry, the younger lad’s eyes wide and jaw slack. “What do you mean made? Who told you that?”

“Niall,” Holden shrugged. “He say you love each other so you make me.”

“Right… No more hanging out with Niall then,” Louis said through gritted teeth. “Whatever, are we ready to go?” he asked, grabbing his suit jacket and pulling it on.

Holden mumbled to himself as his daddy scooped him up and began walking towards the stairs, but at least he saw his papa following after them and winked at him. And just from that he knew he would see Niall again, not needing to worry about what his daddy said, he probably wasn’t serious. 

“Papa I drive, give me keys,” Holden said, reaching over his daddy’s shoulder to his papa once they were outside.

“Yeah, how about we wait another 12 years, maybe then I’ll give you a pair of keys,” Harry said through a chuckle as he shook his head and watched as Louis put the pouting 4 year old in his carseat.

Holden huffed to himself but didn’t make any arguments about it, instead let his daddy buckle him in and made sure to blow him a kiss as a thank you before he closed the door.

“Lou,” Harry said softly once the older lad was in the car and situated in his seat. “Are you sure you’re alright? You seem a bit off.”

Louis shook his head as he combed his fingers through his hair. “Just tonight… It’s hard to not think about tomorrow. Trust me I’m trying, but it’s proving more difficult than I thought,” he muttered.

“M’right here love,” Harry said quietly, looking over at the older lad and intertwining their fingers as he drove down the road. “Still right here…” he said, bringing up their hands and pressing his lips to Louis’ skin.

Louis let out a small breath and nodded, offering Harry his most convincing smile. He was pretty sure the younger lad could see right through him but he grinned back at him anyway before turning his attention back to the road and squeezed his hand gently.

It was quiet for nearly the entire car ride, the only sounds coming from Holden as he hummed to himself and the deep breaths Louis would release so he wouldn’t start over thinking. With Harry’s hand firm in his it did help, but the way the younger lad would glance at him sadly every now and then made Louis feel like they only had mere seconds together.

“We ready?” Harry asked, parking the car and already getting out to pass his keys to the valet.

He tipped the man who took his keys and caught up with Holden and Louis on the other side of the car. And before Harry could even think about wrapping his arm around the older lad he caught a pap waiting by the doors of the restaurant.

“Did you call him? How did he know we would be here?” Louis asked quietly with a touch of worry in his voice as he picked up Holden.

“Of course I didn’t call him,” Harry said, pulling Louis into his side. “He must’ve figured we would want to go out tonight considering I’m leaving tomorrow, and this is one of my favorite places. Calm down love, it’s okay,” he said, pressing his lips to the older lad’s temple and rubbing his back.

Louis let out a deep breath and nodded, not even sure why this one pap seemed like such a big deal, it could be much worse.

“Mr.Styles! Mr.Tomlinson, I’m glad I could catch you!” the pap said as he saw them approach the door. “I’m sorry to bother you but would it be okay if I took a couple pictures? I swear as soon as I get them I’ll leave, and won’t even tell anyone you’re here. It’s just for a story on you guys for a magazine article I’m working-”

“Mate, mate, relax,” Harry said through a chuckle, this guy clearly a new reporter or was just always a nervous wreck. “Lou, H, do you mind? He did ask nicely after all,” he whispered to them.

Holden shrugged, never caring when men with cameras came around. And when his daddy looked to him he just smiled, giving his okay like he always does.

“Sure,” Louis said, offering a small grin to Harry and the pap.

He was almost surprised himself how nice this pap was. Most of them are pushy and loud, and they’re the last people Louis ever wants to be around.

The pap smiled widely to himself, bringing up his camera and snapping a few pictures. “This really means a lot thank you,” he said before taking a couple more, almost having to hold back a laugh as he saw the 4 year old making faces. “So Mr.Styles I know you leave tomorrow to start your tour, do you have your setlist made? Or any plans while you’re travelling? Visiting any tourist places or maybe having these two join you for a bit on the road?”

“Yeah, yeah setlist is made and the bags are all packed and everything,” Harry said quietly, offering the man a small smile as he pulled Louis just a bit closer to him. “As for these two joining me, we’re still discussing dates and some small details have to be worked out,” Harry said, glancing down at the older lad and biting his lip. “But uhm, if you don’t mind my family and I have a reservation, so-”

“Yes! Yes, of course sir, thank you again!” the pap said quickly, flashing the three a wide smile. “Enjoy your night!”

Harry nodded at him and smiled back before leading Louis towards the door, opening it for him and letting out a deep breath once they were inside. “You know we’re gonna have to talk about it at some point,” he muttered to the older lad.

“And we will,” Louis said, placing Holden down. “You know we want to go with you on tour for a bit, but there are still some things going on in the summer.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know,” Harry breathed out before smiling at the maitre-d, the older man immediately recognizing him and leading them to a table. “It’ll all work out, I’m sure.”

“It will,” Louis said through a small smile, there being no way in hell he and Holden wouldn’t go on tour with Harry for at least a little bit. “Trust me love, we will be with you, it’s just a matter of when.”

Harry hummed, smiling down at the older lad before kissing his temple. But once he saw they were at the table he helped Holden in a chair and then pulled Louis’ out for him, making sure they were both situated before sitting down himself.

“I want chicken fingers,” Holden said, already making grabby hands for his daddy’s phone since he wasn’t given a coloring sheet.

“Buddy a place like this doesn’t have chicken fingers,” Harry laughed. “If you want they have some really good steak or a baked mac and cheese you might like.”

“Both,” Holden said, grinning at his father as he passed him his phone and immediately pulled up his coloring app.

Louis looked at the 4 year old and was about to tell him to pick one, knowing they didn’t have kids portions here but when he looked to Harry he saw the younger lad nodding and laughing.

“Whatever you want big guy,” Harry hummed, rubbing the toddler’s back before looking over his own menu. “You too Lou, any wine or something you want,” he said, smiling at the older lad and tangling their feet together under the table.

“Oh, give me the most expensive bottle and I’d like to try everything on the menu, just for fun,” Louis said as he rolled his eyes playfully. “You don’t have to spoil us love, it’s just a regular night.”

Holden looked up from the phone and to his fathers, seeing his papa take his daddy’s hand across the table, but even he knew it wasn’t just a regular night. They tried to act like it though, being their loud and crazy selves. Holden can’t even count how many times he had to restrain himself not to roll his eyes or groan as he listened to the two. Of course he added in on the conversation sometimes, but half the time he was more focused on his steak and mac and cheese, that being far more interesting than seeing his daddies make goo goo eyes at each other. It was fun nevertheless though, with his daddies it always was.

When they had finished dinner and were back home watching a movie though it became quiet. Holden was tucked into his papa’s side, not paying much attention to the screen but instead just focusing on his father and holding onto him as tightly as he could, not wanting him to go. And even when he had to get ready for bed his papa had to nearly pry his arms off from around his neck just so he would lay down.

“I’ll see you in the morning H, it’s okay,” Harry said softly, running his fingers through 4 year old’s feathery hair. “I love you buddy.”

“I love you too papa,” Holden barely whispered, squeezing father’s hand gently as he felt him press a gentle kiss to his head.

Harry pulled away, offering his son one more gentle smile before getting up from the bed and letting Louis say his goodnights. Once the older lad kissed Holden goodnight Harry offered the 4 year old one more soft smile before following Louis out into the hallway.

“So, how long do you think we have until Holden comes in the room?” Harry asked through a small smirk as he wrapped his arms around the blue eyed lad.

Louis laughed to himself as he turned around in Harry’s arms and smiled up at him. “I would give it anywhere between 5 and 20 minutes,” he said, his arms wrapping around the younger lad’s neck.

Harry hummed to himself, dipping his head and connecting their lips gently. “Good thing I only need 3,” he mumbled against him.

Louis pulled away, scoffing before he felt the younger lad pull him impossibly closer and move his lips to his neck, slowly pushing him back and moving them down the hall. “Love there is no way in hell you can get me off in 3 minutes,” he laughed, craning his neck and nearly moaning at the way Harry was sucking at his skin.

“Wanna bet?” Harry breathed out, raising his eyebrows and smirking at the older lad before dropping to his knees.

“Harry… H,” Louis whispered wide eyed, his back pressed against the wall and Harry reaching for his belt. “Love not here, we can’t do this in-”

“Louis please, be quiet, we can’t wake Holden now can we?” 

“Harry he’s probably not even sleeping yet!!” Louis whisper yelled, the younger lad already undoing his pants button and tugging them down to his knees.

“Oh, well then we really better be quiet,” Harry laughed, looking up at Louis with raised eyebrows and licking his lips.

Louis opened his mouth, ready to retort and tell the younger lad that they should take it to the bedroom. But the way Harry was looking up at him, his eyes blown and the hungry look on his face there was no way Louis could stop him.

“Yeah, yeah, okay,” he barely said, nodding quickly.

Harry grinned back up at him, gripping the older lad’s thighs and tugging gently at his boxers thin material. “Alright love, start you watch.”

Louis let out a shaky breath, his jaw going slack at feeling Harry pull his boxers down just enough for his length to come over the top of the band. And he could just barely glance at his watch before feeling Harry’s lips wrap around him, his air getting caught in his throat and a low moan escaping him.

One hand burying itself in the younger lad’s curls while the other gripped at his shoulder, needing to hold something so he wouldn’t collapse. It was nearly impossible to stop his thighs from shaking at the way Harry’s mouth was working around him, the way he was hollowing his cheeks and holding him up with an iron grip so he wouldn’t fall.

It was embarrassing how hard he was already, how the feeling of Harry’s tongue swirling around him had him trembling, his jaw slack and silent pleas escaping him. Maybe the younger lad didn’t even need 3 minutes, but 2 before Louis completed unloaded himself. He knew that if he even chanced a glance at Harry, seeing his head bobbing and mouth around him he would be done. His legs would give out from under him and there was no way he wouldn’t be on the floor. All he could do was grip at the green eyed lad’s hair tighter and throw his head back as he bit his lip, trying to do anything to keep in his moans, but even then they escaped him.

Louis felt Harry grip at his thighs tighter and quicken his movements and he just stood there shaking, his mouth opening and closing but absolutely nothing coming out as he felt the younger lad hum around him. And Louis is ashamed to say it but it didn’t take Harry that much longer before he was coming into the younger lad’s mouth and letting out a far too loud groan.

Harry rested his head against the older lad’s hip, letting out heavy breaths as he pressed gentle kisses into his skin. “What was my time love?” he asked through a quiet laugh.

Louis rolled his eyes, letting out his own heaving breaths before bringing up his wrist and looking to his watch. “3 minutes 25 seconds,” he barely managed out.

“Ugh fuck,” Harry groaned. “We’ll have to try again, I can do it, I swear.”

Louis quickly shook his head, needing at least a 10 minute break. “Love it’s okay, I believe you,” he breathed out. “Why don’t we go into the bedroom and actually do it before H comes in. God only knows how long it’ll be until we can do this again.”

“3 months, so we better make it mind blowing,” Harry laughed, wrapping his hands around the backs of Louis’ thighs and lifting him up.

And Louis didn’t need to be told twice before wrapping his legs around Harry’s waist, gently connecting their lips and laughing into younger lad’s mouth.

*~*

“H… C’mon big guy, we gotta stay awake,” Louis said quietly, slowly rubbing the 4 year old’s back and adjusting him on his hip.

He knew the toddler was beyond exhausted from last night after he came into their bedroom around 2 am, and it took him and Harry another hour to make him stop crying. It was no secret that Holden was sad about today, about what they were doing right now.

Holden must’ve thought that if he could close his eyes and pretend all of this wasn’t happening then it wouldn’t. But as he felt his daddy rubbing his back and urging him to wake up he peaked his eyes open and sure enough nothing had changed. His papa still had his bag slung over his shoulder, his hand firm in his daddy’s and quiet sniffles coming from him, and no matter how many times Holden closed his eyes and wished it wasn’t happening it still was.

“Buddy please,” Louis nearly begged, this not being any easier for him. “Don’t you want to say bye to papa? You have to wake up.”

“No,” Holden mumbled into his daddy’s neck. “If I no say bye papa can’t go.”

“Holden,” Harry said softly, gently tugging on Louis’ hand and stopping the older lad so he could take the 4 year old from him. “I know this is hard but I have to go, and I would really really like it if you said goodbye to me,” he said, wrapping his arms around his son and pressing kisses into his hair.

Holden let out a shaky breath before resting his head on his papa’s shoulder and hugging him back so tightly around his neck he wasn’t sure if he was breathing or not. For once he was really happy the men with cameras weren’t there because he wanted his papa for himself, he didn’t want to share him with anyone. Well maybe he could share him with his daddy, but that was it.

“Papa,” Holden barely whispered, tucking his head into his father’s neck and trying to blink his tears away. “I really gonna miss you.”

“And I’m really, really gonna miss you too,” Harry said quietly, kissing the 4 year old’s temple and squeezing him back.

“You have you watch?” Holden asked, pulling away slightly to look at his papa.

“Of course buddy, set on your time, always.”

Holden let out a quiet breath and nodded, leaning back in to hug his papa again and hope his daddy would never make him let go. After what felt like mere seconds, but was probably a few minutes he felt his daddy’s hand on him. And all he could do was shake his head, beg his tears not to fall and hold onto his papa for dear life.

“It’s okay love, c’mere,” Harry said, doing everything in his power not to cry as he pulled Louis into his side with his free arm and kissed his temple.

Louis shook his head, his tears already streaming down his cheeks as he tucked himself into Harry’s side. There wasn’t anything anyone could say to make this better. The only thing that could be said at all was goodbye, and that was the last thing any of them wanted. They all knew this couldn’t last long though, that sooner than later Harry’s bodyguards would make them say goodbye so they could get going.

“God, I’m gonna miss you guys so much,” Harry breathed out as sniffled to himself and pulled the two impossibly closer. “I’ll try to call as much as possible, and you guys don’t even have to look at the clock, if you want to call me then please, please call me.”

Louis nodded against the younger lad, the memories of Harry leaving for weeks at a time all those years ago rushing back to him, and remembering how hard it was. But this wasn’t just weeks, this was months, and not only that but they had Holden now and Louis knew that would make it much more harder. But both he and his son just held onto Harry, hugging him and kissing him until one of his bodyguards cleared his throat and muttered those words Louis was dreading.

All he could do was wipe his eyes, wanting to at least be able to see Harry as he was saying goodbye, but he couldn’t even contain himself before the younger lad’s lips were on his, kissing him like they had seconds left to live.

“I love you,” Harry said against him. “I love you so much, you don’t even know.”

Louis let out an airy chuckle, shaking his head as he released the younger lad and wrapped his arms around his waist. “Trust me, I know…” he said softly. “And I love you too.”

Harry let out a deep breath, not wanting to even think about letting Louis go, but when his eyes shifted to Holden he was clinging to his leg, so he picked him up and just held him. “You know how much I love you?” he whispered to the 4 year old.

“A lot,” Holden mumbled into his neck. “I love you papa, I really really do.”

Harry allowed the smallest of smiles to come to him as he kissed his son’s head and rubbed his back. It was this he was going to miss, holding the 4 year old, cuddling up with him and just being with him.

“Harry, c’mon, we have to get going.”

Harry glared at his bodyguard for a second before shaking his head and focusing back on Holden. “You better take good care of daddy while I’m gone, I’m trusting you here buddy.”

“I promise,” Holden said quietly, glancing over at his daddy and seeing him laugh and wipe a few tears away.

“Thank you,” Harry said through a small chuckle, kissing the 4 year old’s cheek before giving him one more squeeze and reluctantly putting him down. Even as he did that though Holden refused to let go of him, gripping at his leg and holding onto him for dear life.

Louis bit his lip as he looked at Harry, the younger lad looking right back at him sadly before he reached for him and wrapped his arms around him. “It’s okay love,” he said softly. “I’m sure you’ll forget about us in no time. You’ll be too busy being a popstar.”

“Humor me,” Harry scoffed. “Could never forget about you two,” he mumbled into the older lad’s neck.

Louis hummed, holding back a small smile and reminding himself Harry wasn’t going away forever, that no matter what he was coming back. “Please, have fun though,” he whispered. “Don’t sulk in your hotel room and wish we were there. Go out, have fun, explore where you are and put on the best shows you can.”

“And then call you and tell you all about it.”

“Of course love,” Louis chuckled as he rolled his eyes playfully. “But I mean it… Have fun.”

Harry let out a small breath as he just barely pulled away from Louis and nodded at him. “Promise,” he said quietly.

If he was being honest touring was one of his favorite things. He loved going from city to city, playing for hundreds of people and having new experiences. But it was different now that he had Holden and Louis. Now it seemed like it was going to be harder to enjoy because they weren’t there with him, to share these amazing moments with them.

“Harry you know I don’t like doing this but we have to go.”

This time Harry actually groaned, making his body guard put his hands up in defeat and back up from him. Saying goodbye was the last thing he wanted to do, but he knew if he didn’t within the next minute one of his bodyguards would just pick him up and carry him out. So he knelt down to Holden’s height, scooped him up and then pulled Louis into his chest as well. He just held the two, letting out a deep breath and trying to push past the thought that he won’t be able to do this for months. 

Harry couldn’t count how many times he kissed the two of them, whispered how much he was going to miss them and to call him whenever they want, as many times as they want. The two didn’t say anything though, just nodded against him and whispered their I love you’s back. But when Harry felt a large hand on his back he knew it was time.

He squeezed the two impossibly tighter, kissed them both and gathered everything he had in him not to cry as he set Holden down and slowly stepped away from Louis.

Harry willed his tears back, begged them not to fall as he saw Louis biting his lip and holding in his own tears. But he felt a tug on his arm, looking behind him and seeing his bodyguard looking at him expectantly. So Harry nodded at the older man before glancing back at the two, trying not to focus on Holden’s crying and offered them a tight lined smile and mouthed “I love you” before picking up his bag.

And all Louis could do was nod and mouth it back, grinning back at the younger lad as he rubbed Holden’s back and tried to calm his quiet sobs. He was doing everything he could to not break down right there, but as he watched Harry walk away it seemed harder and harder with the thought that he wouldn’t physically see the green eyed lad for 3 months. When he and Holden got home though he was sure they would both be a crying mess, well the 4 year old already was, but Louis would be joining him. So here was day 1 out of 90 without Harry.

*~*

Louis looked over the top of his glasses, his eyes landing on the 17 year old reading from the book and let out a quiet breath as he took his sweet time. He glanced over to the clock, time seeming to be going in slow motion, and when he looked over at Holden he saw the 4 year old with his head on the desk and noticing him a second away from groaning.

“Alright Bryan, thank you,” Louis said, stopping him at the end of the sentence before he could continue. And if he wasn’t mistaken he could hear some sighs of relief from the class. “Why don’t we move onto something a bit more fun, yeah? It is Friday after all, we can end it on a happy note,” he said, placing his book on his desk and standing up before clapping his hands together in front of him to snap the teenagers out of their dazes. “Let’s do some improv. You guys know the drill, whoever wants to play c’mon down.”

Louis was at least happy about three kids came down, but when he shifted his attention to Holden has saw the toddler wearing the same frown he has been for nearly two weeks now. “Buddy you don’t want to play?” he asked softly, normally the 4 year old being the first one out of his seat.

Holden let out a deep breath, shaking his head before putting it back down on the desk in front of him.

Louis bit his lip as he nodded at his son before looking back to his students and picking a random scene for them to do. As soon as they were settled they started and he took his seat back at his desk, only for his attention to be drawn to Holden and not the kids performing.

He knows how hard it’s been for Holden, how much he misses Harry, and it’s hard for him too to not see the younger lad everyday or even talk to him regularly. 

Normally after daycare Harry would pick Holden up and the two had that time to spend together. But now with Harry touring they were back to their old schedule of Zayn picking him up and bringing him to the school. And no matter what Louis did and how hard he tried to up the 4 year old’s spirits nothing worked, not even offering to buy a leash for Rob so he could go on walks with them. He’s made Holden’s favorite foods and every night they watch his favorite movies but absolutely nothing is cheering him up.

Louis tried to think of something to do to cheer Holden up as he watched his students though, but he came up blank. And when the kids were done with the scene he called it a day, dismissing his class and giving them a final wave as they all walked out before leaning back in his chair and groaning into his hands.

“Daddy can we go home now?” Holden mumbled, already getting up from his seat and picking up his backpack.

“Yeah, c’mon,” Louis said, pushing himself up and grabbing his messenger bag before slinging it over his shoulder. “Anything you want to do tonight? If you want we can go out and do something,” he offered, taking the 4 year old’s hand and leading him out of the room.

“No, I just want to go home,” Holden mumbled, his gaze locked on his feet as he walked.

Louis looked down at Holden, letting out a small breath before nodding at him and squeezing his hand gently. “Well when we get home we can walk Addi and then you and I can make dinner together, how does that sound?” he asked, offering the toddler his most convincing smile.

“Fine,” Holden shrugged.

“Good…” Louis breathed out, but then something popped into his head, he had almost completely forgotten what day it was. “Buddy! Guess what?!”

Holden looked up at his daddy confused as he followed him out of the school, not sure why he was so excited. “What?”

“We’re expecting a phone call from a certain someone tonight,” Louis said, wiggling his eyebrows at his son before opening the car back door for him.

Holden froze as he was halfway in the car, slowly turning his head and looking to his father wide eyed. “Papa?” he asked quietly. “He gonna call?!”

Louis swears he can’t remember the last time he saw Holden this excited but when he nodded the 4 year old nearly lunged at him and crushed him in a hug.

Communicating was a lot harder than Louis and Harry initially thought. They could text but because of the time difference there were maybe two or three texts exchanged between them a day at most, phone calls and facetime was nearly impossible too. Harry was also beyond busy with shows, interviews, photoshoots, meet and greets, and more promotional things, so Louis didn’t blame the younger lad. It was more than clear how terrible Harry felt about it, and Louis could see that he really was trying, but it was just too hard sometimes. So Harry set aside time specifically for them as soon as he realized how hard it was, and promised to call them and actually be able to talk for more than 15 minutes at a time.

“C’mon daddy we get home quick so papa call!” Holden said, wiggling out of his daddy’s arms and climbing into the car.

Louis laughed to himself as he buckled Holden in and then made his way to his own seat. “Buddy he won’t call when we get home, he will around 6 I think,” he said, starting the car.

“That okay,” Holden said, unable to wipe the smile off his face.

Louis glanced in the rear view mirror as he pulled out of the parking lot and grinned back at his son. He hasn’t seen Holden this happy since before Harry left, and this was all because they were getting a phone call.

Even when they got home and started their walk with Addi Holden was still smiling from ear to ear, a little skip in his step as they strolled down the pavement. That at least made Louis feel better, and he would be lying if he said he was as excited if not more so than Holden about Harry calling. It was crazy to him that something as simple as a phone call could turn their moods around, but that was just how much they missed Harry, not just seeing him, but talking to him too.

The entire walk Holden couldn’t stop babbling to Addi, telling the puppy about what he was going to say to his papa, and the stories he would tell from what him and his daddy got up to or what has been happening at daycare. Louis himself had his fair share of things to tell the younger lad, but while Holden was awake he was going to let the 4 year old have time with his father. As soon as the toddler was in bed though Louis was going to have Harry all to himself.

“Rob we home!!” Holden yelled as they walked through their front door, Addi tugging at the leash, already wanting to be off it.

Louis rolled his eyes fondly as he kicked off his shoes, but as soon as he saw the grey and white fluffy cat meet them at the door it was nearly impossible not to laugh. “C’mere fluffball,” he said, scooping up the cat and kissing him. “What’re we thinking for dinner H? Maybe some steak and potatoes, a pie for dessert? And you can make us a salad maybe?”

“I can do that,” Holden shrugged.

“Oh good,” Louis chuckled, squeezing the cat one more time before setting him down and letting him run off with Addi. “I’m happy you’re feeling better buddy,” he said quietly. “You happy about papa calling?”

“Really happy,” Holden said through a soft smile. “I wish papa call more but I know he busy…”

Louis let out a small breath as he took a seat next to the 4 year old on the couch and pulled him into his side. “I know you miss him buddy, and I miss him too,” he said gently. “And we both know he misses us like crazy too, it isn’t easy for anyone.”

“I know,” Holden breathed out, resting his head on his daddy’s side. “I bet when we on the phone later he gonna cry,” he said through a giggle.

“You’d win that bet,” Louis agreed as he laughed to himself and kissing his son’s hair. “I bet you’ll cry too, you blubbering baby,” he teased, poking Holden’s side and making a sharp laugh escape him.

“I-I won’t! I-I’m a big b-boy!!” Holden said between his laughter, trying desperately to push his daddy’s tickling hands away.

Louis hummed, more than happy to see Holden laughing, smiling, just doing anything than frowning and being glum.

“Daddy y-you better stop!!”

“Or what?” Louis asked, continuing his attack. “Are you gonna send your attack dog Addi on me?” he asked jokingly. “I’ll only stop if you tell me how much you love me!”

Holden groaned, and for that the tickling got worse. “Okay, o-okay I love you!”

“That’s not enough!!”

“Daddy I love you so s-so so much! Please!!” Holden begged, needing this form of torture to stop.

Louis stopped tickling the 4 year old, pulling his breathless son into his chest and looking down at him softly. “You love me? Really?” he asked with a touch of sarcasm in his voice.

Holden looked up at his father like “are you kidding me?” before rolling his eyes and shaking his head. “Ugh, get away from me,” he said, climbing out of his daddy’s lap and walking off to find Addi and Rob.

Louis felt his jaw go slack as he watched the toddler walk away before letting out an airy laugh. “Love you too!” he called after him, hearing a “yeah, whatever” come back from his son.

*~*

“Daddy!!!” Holden screamed at the top of his lungs. “It’s ringing! It’s ringing! It’s ringing!!!!”

Louis quickly took the pie out of the oven, nearly throwing it on the counter and tugging his oven mitts off before running into the living room to get his laptop. He may have tripped on the coffee table leg and almost accidentally knocked his laptop off the table in his rush, but he still got to the accept button in time, it not even being a second later he saw the green eyed lad come onto the screen.

“Papa!!” Holden shrieked, leaning towards the camera and maybe getting a bit too close to it. 

“H back up, c’mon,” Louis said through a laugh as he pulled the 4 year old into his lap, his smile blinding just at seeing Harry through the screen. “Hi love.”

And Harry was just staring back at them, almost trying to figure out if what he was seeing was real before he covered his mouth with his hand and shook his head. 

“Told you he gonna cry,” Holden muttered, already able to see tears on his papa’s cheeks and his shoulders shaking. “Papa snap out of it! Talk to me!!”

Harry nodded quickly, wiping his wet cheeks and clearing his throat, at least somewhat trying to gather himself. “My God, look at you two,” he said, still not believing they were in front of him.

Louis bit his lip, trying to hold back his smile from widening even more. “And look at you,” he said through a chuckle. “Did you just get back from a show or something? You’re all sweaty.”

“What? No, no,” Harry laughed, running his fingers through his sweaty curls. “I had a show earlier yeah, but then after some of us went to a club. It’s like 3 am now and we just got back a little while ago.”

Louis opened his mouth, about to ask if the younger had fun before Holden jumped in.

“Papa daddy say we buy leash for Rob so he go on walk with us!!”

“Did he really?” Harry asked, his gaze shifting to Louis and raising his eyebrows at him.

And again Louis was about to talk but the 4 year old quickly cut him off. He didn’t mind of course, he was happy to see Holden so happy. Louis swears he can’t remember the last time his son talked this much, and this was Holden, the kid never shut up. But he had to update his papa on everything that had happened in the past two weeks. Even though not all that much happened, Holden had plenty to say.

Of course Harry sat there, entertaining the 4 year old and nodding along to what he was saying, trying to comment here and there but Holden’s rambling took over for the most part. If anything Harry was happy to just see the two, but listening to his son made him over the moon happy.

Holden just talked and talked, tripping over his words, and started hiccupping from not breathing normally, but that didn’t stop his rambling. Louis was almost worried that Holden would pass out from talking too much, but when it got to bed time the 4 year old immediately started pouting and whining.

“Buddy it’s okay, I can call again tomorrow, same time,” Harry said, him not wanting the 4 year old to give Louis a hard time.

“Babe you’ll tire yourself out if you keep staying up these crazy hours, it’s okay,” Louis said, it already being 5 am Harry’s time, he didn’t want him to do this two days in a row.

“No, no, it’s fine,” Harry waved off. “First off I want nothing more than to talk to the two of you as much as possible, and second I’ll be flying tomorrow so we can talk while I’m on the plane.”

“Where you going tomorrow papa?” Holden asked, hoping he could distract his daddy enough where he wouldn’t tell him to go to bed.

“Tomorrow I’ll be in Tokyo. Don’t worry buddy, I’ll be sure to get you one of those cool lookin robes.”

“Papa it called a Yukita,” Holden said like it was well known fact.

Harry furrowed his eyebrows, opening and closing his mouth as he looked between the 4 year old and Louis, having no clue how his son knew that. 

“While you’ve been away H and I have been doing some cultural studying on the different places you’ll be going,” Louis said, seeing Harry grow more and more confused. “What else do we know about Tokyo buddy?”

“It the capital of Japan!” Holden said excitedly.

“Wow, nice big guy,” Harry said as he looked at Holden impressed.

Holden smiled proudly to himself, but it was only a second later he felt his daddy pull him into his chest and he knew he was about to be carried upstairs.

“Say goodnight to papa buddy, it’s already past your bedtime.”

Holden groaned, knowing this was coming before looking back to the computer screen sadly. “Goodnight papa,” he said quietly, slightly waving to the camera. “I miss you but I talk to you tomorrow so it okay.”

“Goodnight buddy, I love you,” Harry said softly, waving back at the camera. “Lou want to give him a thousand kisse for me?”

Louis didn’t want to be told twice before showering the 4 year old in kisses, only stopping when Holden started to squirm in his arms. “Alright, give me two minutes H, I’ll be right back,” he said to Harry, getting a nod from the younger lad.

Holden let out a small breath but nodded anyway, knowing there was no point in fighting it. So he blew his papa one more kiss and waved to him a final time before his daddy picked him up and carried him towards the stairs. At least when they got to his bedroom Addi and Rob were already on his bed waiting for him, that made him feel a bit better.

“You happy buddy? I’m sorry you have to go to bed, but at least we can talk to papa again tomorrow,” Louis said, getting the 4 year old under the covers.

“Really happy,” Holden said through a soft smile. “It nice to talk to papa.”

“I know it is,” Louis said, grinning back down at his son. “Goodnight buddy, I love you.”

“Love you too,” Holden said quietly, feeling his daddy kiss his head.

And it was only a second later Louis was pulling away, smiling down at Holden one more time before patting Addi’s head and leaving the room, heading back downstairs to talk to Harry since he couldn’t get a single word in the whole 2 hours since Holden had the younger lad’s attention.

“Hello my love, I’m back,” Louis said happily, taking a seat on the couch and placing his computer on his lap.

Harry smiled at the camera, letting out a small breath and locking his eyes on Louis, just happy the older lad was in front of him. “I really miss you,” he said quietly.

Louis bit the inside of his cheek, nodding as he looked down to his lap and brushed his fingers through his hair. “I really miss you too…” he barely whispered.

It was quiet for a moment, the two just looking at each other and letting out slow, deep breaths, just to keep themselves from crying. They only had so much time to talk, they weren’t going to waste it with tears.

“How uhm… How’ve you been? And H, how’s he holding up?” Harry asked softly.

“I’ve been okay,” Louis breathed out. “It is a bit quieter here, and m’not gonna lie, I’ve been pretty lonely… I hate just not talking to you, and I know it’s not your fault, but it is hard.”

Harry opened his mouth, ready to say that yes, this was his fault, all of it, but he knew Louis wouldn’t have any of it. “I know I’ve been bad about answering my phone, and I’m sorry… I promised you guys could call me anytime and so far I’ve broken it at least a dozen times,” he said, shaking his head and sucking in a deep breath.

“I understand H, so does Holden, it’s okay,” Louis reassured him. “We know it’s hard with the time difference and you’re so busy all the time, it’s fine.”

All Harry wanted to do was shake his head and say it’s not fine, because to him it really wasn’t. “Well uhm, how’s H been? I saw in a couple of your texts that he’s been a bit off.”

Louis bit his lip as he nodded, not sure if the younger lad could help with Holden since he’s away, but maybe he could give some advice. “Ever since you left he’s been… I dunno, like lost,” he said quietly. “He’s been distant and moody and quiet, and everything I try to do to help him doesn’t work, I’m at a loss… It was only today when I told him you were calling where I saw him smile for the first time since you left.”

“Babe I’m sorry,” Harry said, combing his fingers through his hair and letting out a deep breath, hating that Holden was so upset because of him. “I honestly wish there was something I could do… I really will try to call more, I promise.”

Louis looked down to his lap, the only thing he could do was nod again. “You know every night to help him calm down and fall asleep I play him your first album,” he said through a small laugh. “I told him that’s how we fell in love… I think it helps a bit.”

Harry felt a slow, wide smile come over him as he heard the older lad, almost feeling a blush rise on his cheeks.

“And he’ll lay in bed and sing quietly to Addi or Rob… I don’t think he’s noticed me standing in the doorway but every night I hear him,” Louis said, his gaze focused on his folded hands in his lap. “I love hearing your guys’ voices mixed together. If I’m being honest I think it helps me too,” he said through a sheepish chuckle.

Harry just looked at the older lad, wanting nothing more than to hold Louis, to wrap his arms around him and kiss him, and tell him everything was going to be okay. But he was thousands of miles away, and would be for months.

“Louis I love you…” Harry barely whispered, feeling his eyes pool with tears. “I love you and Holden, I-...” he trailed off. “I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t be,” Louis said, almost firmly as he shook his head. “We’re okay here, really,” he tried to assure him. “I don’t want you to feel bad, I want you to have fun on tour and share your talents with the world.”

Harry just shook his head again, sniffling and trying to gather himself.

“You know I really want to keep talking to you but it’s like 6 am your time, you should really get some sleep love,” Louis said softly.

“Alright, c’mon let’s go to bed,” Harry said, picking up his laptop and bringing it over to his bed before tugging his shirt off and lying down. “Well… Go to bed.”

Louis opened and closed his mouth, a small laugh escaping him as he shrugged and picked up his laptop. He nearly jogged up the stairs, maybe a bit too excited for this, but after not sleeping next to Harry for two weeks a computer image of him seemed better than nothing. So he made his way to his bedroom, placing his laptop on the bed and stripping down until he was in his boxers before getting on top of his covers.

“Okay, I’m in bed,” Louis laughed, fixing his screen so the camera was focused on him

“Good,” Harry said through a yawn, looking like he was reaching for something before the lights on his end went out.

All Louis could see was a darkened version of his boyfriend, the light from the computer making him at least somewhat visible.

“I love you,” Harry half mumbled into his pillow, a sleepy smile coming over him.

“Love you too,” Louis said, biting his own grin back before reaching for his lights and turning them off as well. “Goodnight H.”

“G’night Lou,” Harry said, already feeling himself drifting off to sleep.

And Louis just watched the younger lad’s breaths get slower and deeper, those snores that he’s missed so much the past two weeks coming through his laptop speakers and filling the room. For the first time in what felt like forever Louis felt himself peacefully fall asleep, and even if he did wake up a few times during the night Harry was still there on the screen, his own sleeping form still visible. They may be worlds away, but at least they still had this, and after waking up about three times during the night at least Louis could wake up to see his boyfriend.

Just at knowing Harry was there Louis slept better than he has since the younger lad left, and even when he woke up in the morning his laptop was still on, and so was Harry’s. The only difference was that the green eyed lad wasn’t there, but a note.

_ Louis, _

_ I know you keep telling me that it’s not my fault, that I shouldn’t feel bad for leaving, but in my mind I’ve abandoned you… And that was something I never wanted to do again. _

_ I know I’ve made a lot of promises, and haven’t been the best at keeping them… But I promise to be there the best I can for you and H. And I promise to have fun, no matter how hard it will be without the two of you here with me. _

_ Waking up next to you again has made me happier than I’ve been at all these past weeks without you, and maybe tomorrow we can try a different kind of pillow talk. You know, the kind we did all those years back when I was on the road for a while. Might want to close your door and make sure Holden is sleeping though… We wouldn’t want him to think you were having a nightmare and moaning in your sleep or something ;) _

_ Love you, _

_ H _

And as Louis read it he couldn’t keep the smile off his face. Even if the last few sentences had his cheeks turning crimson, just at this note he was feeling better. So here was to day 15 of 90 without Harry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts on the chapter ? Think with Harry being away it will get harder ? Leave comments, share opinions, thanks xx


	15. Chapter 15

Louis had his face hidden in his hands, completely hunched over his desk and a headache nearly paralyzing him to his chair.

For hours he’s been trying to figure out his and Holden’s schedule, mixed with Harry’s, and then everything with Liam’s wedding, he couldn’t keep any days straight. Louis thought it would be a simple task, picking when to join Harry on tour, but if anything it’s been making him more stressed than planning the musical was.

Louis was almost there though, dates and times were somewhat figured out, as were bills for Holden’s summer camp. All he really had to do now was call Clara, finalize everything and take some medicine for his head.

“Don’t think too hard, your head might explode.”

Louis snapped his head up, a small laugh escaping him as he saw Niall step into his classroom. “It’s okay, I finished anyway.”

“What were ya doin?” Niall asked, making his way towards the older lad’s desk and taking a seat on it.

“Planning when H and I will go with Harry on tour,” Louis said happily, just at the thought of them being together again had him nearly jumping in his seat. “Had to plan around summer camps and Liam’s wedding, but finally I got it all figured out.”

“That’s awesome Lou,” Niall said through a soft smile, knowing Harry being away has been hard for them. “When’re you guys going? I’m joining him as soon as school let’s out and basically all summer so I’ll probably be with you.”

“Definitely,” Louis nodded. “We’re leaving the first week of July and staying with him until late August.”

“Why not leave after school ends?” Niall asked confused. “That way you can be in Germany with us and we smoke up like we used to.”

Louis rolled his eyes as he shook his head, the Irish lad still sounding like his 20 year old self. “First of all I smoked maybe twice with you, second of all I’m a father, and third Holden has a summer camp he goes to every year so I wanted to make sure he could see his friends for a bit before we jet off.”

“We definitely smoked more than twice,” Niall scoffed. “You were probably too high to even remember.”

Louis shrugged, that possibly being very true, but that was beside the point. “Whatever,” he muttered. “All I care about is that we’re with Harry for at least a little bit.”

“He’ll be so happy mate,” Niall said softly. “I’ve barely talked to him but from what I’ve gotten he’s a right mess without you two.”

“Not gonna lie, it is hard,” Louis breathed out, shuffling some of his papers on his desk and organizing what he needed for his next class. “But we’re a month in and no one has completely lost their heads yet.”

“How’s Holden?” Niall asked quietly. “Know he was having a bit of a hard time.”

“Yeah… He went from being quiet and sad to temper tantrums and crying everyday,” Louis said, rubbing his hands over his face and leaning back in his chair. “I just don’t think he knows how to deal with missing him, y’know?”

Niall bit his lip as he nodded, understanding why Holden was acting out. He couldn’t even imagine how hard it must be for the 4 year old to not see or talk to his father daily. “Well in another 2 months you guys will be together again and we’ll party throughout Europe,” he said, clapping the older lad on the back.

Louis had to almost stop himself from letting out a sarcastic laugh, Niall making it sound so easy. But he couldn’t even contain himself just at the thought of seeing Harry in person again and not through a computer screen. Harry would be back for Liam’s wedding and even though the younger lad wasn’t all that excited to go Louis was just happy he was going to be back home for at least a little bit before they jetted off.

“Wait, when is Harry in Germany?” Louis asked with furrowed eyebrows, looking for the green eyed lad’s touring schedule in his mess of papers.

“July 1st through the 8th or 9th.”

Louis nodded, looking through both his and Harry’s schedule, seeing that was the start of the Europe leg of the tour. “Oh okay, so we will be with him then. That means-”

“We can smoke up!!” Niall said excitedly. “Mate we are gonna get so high! Seriously it’s okay, Holden can stay with someone while we do it, it’ll be like the old days!!”

Louis laughed to himself and hummed, and just as he was about to say something a voice stopped him.

“Uhm, Mr.Tomlinson? Mr. Horan?”

The two snapped their heads towards the door, a few startled looking teenagers staring at them a bit amused.

Louis looked at his students wide eyed, not even hearing the bell or the kids enter the room. “H-hey guys we were uhm, i-it wasn’t what it sounded like, we-”

“It’s cool Mr.Tomlinson, we didn’t hear anything,” Bryan said, sending his teacher a quick wink before hearing a few snickers from his classmates and heading to his seat.

Louis just stared at the teenager, his mouth opening and closing, trying desperately to come up with some excuse. And when he looked over at Niall for help the younger lad just shrugged and mouthed a “sorry” before hopping off his desk and heading out of the classroom.

Sometimes Louis really hated the Irish lad.

*~*

“Daddy?” Holden asked quietly as he got tucked in, earning a hum from his father. “Did papa answer today?”

Louis let out a quiet breath as he shook his head, almost immediately earning a frown from the toddler, and there was no way he could handle another temper tantrum right now. Holden already had about three tonight, a fourth would end him.

“Buddy I’m sorry,” he said softly. “He read it but didn’t answer, I’m sure he says hi and misses you too though.”

“Then how come he didn’t say it?” Holden mumbled through a whine as he turned away from his daddy.

“H, c’mon,” Louis said gently, trying to calm him down. “Papa didn’t answer the text but he sent me something else, do you want to hear it?”

Holden nodded against his pillow, not turning around to face his daddy though as he hid further under his covers.

Louis bit his lip as he pulled out his phone, opening the audio message Harry sent him before turning his volume up and setting it down on the side table. He hasn’t listened to it himself yet, wanting to listen to it for the first time with Holden so he had no clue what was on it.

“Hey H, it’s your dear old pop here.”

And just at that Louis wanted to roll his eyes as he heard Harry on the recording, but at least Holden was laughing a bit as well.

“Daddy was telling me how you haven’t been feeling all that well since I left… That you’ve been a bit lost, and honestly buddy I’ve been feeling the same way,” Harry’s voice came quietly over the speaker before there was a moment of silence, almost as if the younger lad was gathering himself. “And I’m sorry I can’t be there for you, for both of you…”

Louis looked down at Holden, gently rubbing his son’s back and seeing him carefully roll over. And even in the dark room, the only light coming from Holden’s night light, Louis could see the toddler’s eyes pool with tears, him biting his lip and trying desperately not to cry.

“I really miss you guys,” Harry said, it coming out almost strained. “But I’m really hoping this recording will help in someway, especially you Holden,” he said softly. “I’m sorry you’ve been hurting and that I haven’t done anything for you, that I can’t be there for you… And that you’ve been in pain since I left, and I’ve known and haven’t helped, but I’m hoping this can… This is for you buddy.”

Holden looked to his daddy, sniffling to himself before sitting up and climbing on his father’s lap, just wanting to be held. And of course his daddy wrapped his arms around him, kissing his head and pulling him into his chest just before the two heard a piano coming through the speakers.

At the music Louis picked his head up, his eyes shifting between his phone and Holden, the toddler nearly going still in his arms. And as soon as they heard Harry singing Holden was crying. He couldn’t put into words how much he missed his papa, missed his voice and bad jokes. And as he listened to him singing it only made him miss him more. But it was at the chorus he was really crying, hiding his face in his daddy’s chest and gripping his shirt, just wanting to hold onto something.

Louis himself was at a loss of words, it sounding like Harry really knows how Holden is feeling, that he understood and wanted to help in some way. The younger lad’s voice was firm, wanting to get the message across to Holden, and from the looks of it he did. **[(X)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lv1tL4lfcts)**

**‘Cause you are not alone**

**I’m always there with you**

**And we’ll get lost together until the light comes pouring through**

**‘Cause when you feel like you’re done, and the darkness has won**

**Babe you’re not lost**

**When your world’s crashing down**

**And you can’t bear the thought**

**I said, babe, you’re not lost**

Louis could feel Holden sniffling against him, the toddler clinging to him and hiding his face in his chest as he listened to his papa. He himself was close to tears, the words Harry was singing were breathtaking, it sounding like the younger lad really knew how Holden was feeling, and that he was feeling the same exact way. Louis knew it was just a song, but maybe it was a song that could help Holden, could remind the toddler that his papa was here for him and always would be.

And when the song was over Holden asked to listen to it again, just wanting to hear his papa’s voice. So Louis played it again, and again after that, letting Harry’s voice sooth Holden until he fell asleep in his lap.

*~*

Louis glanced up from his book as he stood in front of his class, giving the teenager who just finished reading the section a small smile. “Alright, so in this scene what do you think is happening? What’s the mood?”

He wasn’t all that surprised to get blank stares back though, it being Monday after all and just before lunch, so that didn’t help anything.

“Guys I know you’re hungry and bored but just humor me for a little bit longer,” Louis said, walking in front of the class and pulling his glasses off. “Alice what did you think about it? Did you hate the scene? Did you love it? Just gimme something.”

“I dunno Mr.Tomlinson it was pretty boring,” she shrugged. “Like nothing is happening it just seems like a waste of time.”

“Okay, good,” Louis nodded, happy to get any feedback at all. “Do you think this scene is necessary to the play? Does it hold any significance?”

And again there was silence, a few students nearly groaning and throwing their heads back as the time dragged on.

Just as Louis was about to say something though he heard his phone ringing from his pocket, letting out a quiet breath before pulling it out and looking at it. Usually it’s on silent and always in his bag but since Harry’s been gone he’s kept it on him, always wanting to be able to answer whenever the younger lad calls. But at seeing the number for Holden’s daycare calling him he didn’t waste a second before picking up, telling his students to talk amongst themselves for a minute.

“Hello?” he asked into the phone.

“Mr.Tomlinson?”

“Yes, speaking,” Louis said, biting his lip nervously, not once ever getting a call from them.

“Hi, so uhm, we have to talk to you about Holden, could you come down to the daycare? I’m sorry but you have to come and pick him up.”

Louis stilled for a second, opening and closing his mouth, something like this never happening before. “What? Why? Is he okay?”

“He’s perfectly fine, we just need you to come get him.”

“Yeah, yeah, of course, be there soon,” Louis rushed out before hanging up and turning back to his class that was watching him curiously. “You guys are dismissed, I’ll see you tomorrow,” he said, already walking over to his desk to get his things.

No one in the class moved, the kids just watching their teacher rush around. And it was only when Louis gathered all of his things and said a quick goodbye to his students did any of them actually get out of their seats and see that he was serious about dismissing them.

Louis rushed down the halls, making sure to stop at the office and letting them know he was leaving because something was wrong with Holden before nearly running to his car.

He wished they told him something, that if he was sick or throwing a temper tantrum, or just anything so he wouldn’t worry so much. But the entire time he raced to the daycare his mind was running away from him, a thousand thoughts of what could have happened before he pulled into the parking lot and rushed towards the building.

“Where is he? Is he okay?” Louis asked as soon as he stepped into room, Hollie meeting him right at the door.

“He’s fine, we just had some problems today,” Hollie said quietly.

“Okay, like what? Is he sick?”

Louis saw Hollie shake her head, her gaze shifting to the other side of the room and he immediately followed where she was looking. Holden was sitting in the corner of the room, his arms crossed over his chest and a hard scowl on his face as he stared at the floor.

“Can you just tell me what happened?” Louis asked, rubbing a frustrated hand over his face.

“Well… Holden kind of got in a fight with William,” Hollie said slowly. “One second they were playing and the next Holden was pushing him to the floor and trying to hit him, I’m sorry but he has to go home for the day.”

Louis froze for a second, letting Hollie’s words sink in before he looked back to Holden across the room. “What?” he said so quietly he wasn’t sure she heard him. “No, no, that can’t be… H wouldn’t hurt a fly, there’s no way this is his fault.”

“Louis I watched everything happen myself, I really am sorry.”

Louis shook his head, letting out a deep breath as he didn’t believe it but he wasn’t going to fight Hollie on this if she saw Holden do what she said he did. So instead he walked towards his son, the 4 year old keeping his eyes locked on the floor even after Louis knelt down to him.

“Buddy,” he said softly. “C’mon, we have to go, but we’re talking about this.”

Holden didn’t do anything. Just sat there still, his arms still crossed over his chest and a scowl sketched on his face even as his daddy picked him up.

Louis gathered Holden’s things, saying a quiet sorry to Hollie and that they’d see her tomorrow before carrying Holden out to the car and strapping him in.

He didn’t even know what to think, what to say as he got into the car himself and started heading off towards the road. Hearing that Holden was in a fight was something Louis never imagined he would be told, he didn’t know why the toddler would ever lay a hand on anyone else and try to purposefully hurt them. And even when he pulled up to the house Louis was still at a loss of what to say to Holden. He thought that he should probably start by asking what had happened but before the car was even fully parked in the driveway Holden was trying to get out.

“Buddy, buddy relax,” Louis said, quickly hopping out and rushing to the backseat, trying to help the toddler.

He was trying to unbuckle the 4 year old as quickly as he could, Holden already crying and now Louis was really at a loss. But he picked up his son and pulled him into his chest, kissing his head and rubbing his back, just needing him to calm down.

As soon as Louis stepped foot into the house both Addi and Rob were right there, meeting them at the door. The puppy was barking happily as soon as she saw Holden, but she stopped as soon as she saw him crying in his daddy’s arms, instead following after them worriedly.

“H, it’s okay big guy,” Louis said softly, taking a seat on the couch and adjusting him on his lap. “Do you want to tell me what happened? I don’t like seeing you upset buddy.”

Holden quickly shook his head, crying into his daddy’s neck and curling into his chest. “Daddy I sorry, I-I really am.”

“Alright, alright,” Louis said, hearing the toddler nearly hyperventilating from crying so much. “H I really need you to relax, and calm down so we can talk.”

“Daddy Will say mean things! H-he got me m-mad and I-I-I-”

Louis nodded, shushing Holden, wanting him to actually breathe. “Take a minute big guy… When you’ve calmed down we can talk, alright?”

Holden hiccuped a few more times, nodding against his daddy’s chest and trying his hardest to calm down. He didn’t want to tell his father what had happened, but he knew he had to. And maybe the sooner he did the sooner he could forget it ever happened.

So Holden calmed down, wiping his wet cheeks and letting out a few shaky breaths before looking up at his daddy. “W-well me and Will playing a-and he say mean things and I ignore him b-but he keep saying mean things cause he see me get sad.”

“Alright, what did he say big guy?” Louis asked softly, rubbing the toddler’s back to keep him calm.

Holden bit his lip as he shook his head, not wanting to start crying. “H-he know papa gone…” he said quietly tucking his head into his daddy’s neck and sucking in a deep breath. “W-will say papa go b-because of me a-and he no want me.”

Louis stilled for a second, looking down at his son with furrowed eyebrows and feeling his heart nearly break at seeing Holden quietly crying and hiding his face in his hands. “What?”

“He just say mean things a-about papa a-and I no want to listen to him,” Holden hiccuped out. “P-papa leave before I born and n-now he leave again a-and-”

“Whoa, whoa,” Louis said, stopping him as he saw his son’s thoughts running away from him. “Buddy it’s not like that, don’t even think that,” he said almost firmly. “Things were complicated before you were born… He didn’t leave you, he never has, alright?”

“It be so long,” Holden whined, doing everything he could not to start crying again.

Louis let out a quiet breath, rubbing a hand over his face as he nodded. It’s been just over 2 months since Harry left and Louis never thought it would be this hard. He thought the younger lad would answer his texts or pick up his phone when he called. He thought Harry would jump at the opportunity to talk to them and for some reason Louis can’t figure out the curly haired lad rarely answers him when he calls. Usually they have to wait until Harry calls them, but that’s maybe two or three times a week at most.

Louis knows Harry is busy. That he must be exhausted from travelling and performing so much, giving interviews and showing up here and there to keep appearances up. But he just wished the younger lad tried a little harder.

“H you need to know that papa has never left you, and he never will alright?” Louis asked softly. “This is part of his job, and I know it’s hard but before you know it he’ll be back with us.”

Holden released a shaky breath, nodding against his daddy and sniffling to himself. “I sorry I hurt Will daddy… I know it not okay to hurt someone, even if I mad…”

“Thank you for apologizing buddy,” Louis said, pressing a kiss to the 4 year old’s head. “Hopefully tomorrow we can talk to him, because what he said to wasn’t nice either and we can get this all sorted out.”

Louis saw Holden nodding again, and he was happy his son understood what he did wasn’t right. But he really did want to talk to Hollie tomorrow about what Will said, that not being okay with him at all. But there was someone else he wanted to talk to too.

“Buddy I’m gonna make us some lunch alright? You just relax here for a little bit.”

Holden said a quiet “okay”, watching as his daddy got up from the couch and turned the tv on for him before he pat the couch and had Addi sit with him.

Louis offered his son a tight lined smile before heading off towards the kitchen, immediately pulling out his phone and dialing Harry’s number. He knew it was about 8pm in Singapore and that the younger lad didn’t have a show tonight, but tomorrow, so he should answer unless he was in an interview.

But Louis wasn’t all that surprised when it went to voicemail. He just hoped Harry would answer so he could talk to Holden and assure him that he was coming home, and tell him that he hasn’t forgotten about him. Louis knows Harry hasn’t, that he never could forget about Holden, but their son was 4, sometimes he forgot and just had to be reminded.

So Louis tried calling Clara, knowing that she had to be with Harry and maybe she could get him on the phone. He’s never done this before so maybe they would see this as kind of an emergency and no matter what the younger lad was doing he would come to the phone.

Luckily Clara’s job was basically picking up the phone, and thankfully it didn’t even take three rings before Louis heard her voice.

“Hey Lou!”

Louis furrowed his eyebrows, it almost sounding like Clara was screaming over a crowd and music blaring in the background. “Hey uhm, sorry if I’m interrupting something, but are you by chance with Harry?”

“Yeah! I’m actually babysitting him now!” Clara laughed to herself. “Hang on, lemme get him for you!”

Louis said a quiet “thanks”, shifting his weight on his feet and biting his lip as he heard Clara moving through what sounded like a club. And it took a couple minutes but finally the noise in the background stopped and Harry’s voice was booming through the phone.

“Lou!!” he said excitedly. “What’s happening? I’m so happy to hear from you!”

“Do you not have your phone on you?”  

“Oh uh, no, I left it at the hotel charging,” Harry said quietly. “Why? Is something wrong? You know I was gonna call you as soon as I got back to the hotel. Clara and a few guys from the crew decided to get a few drinks first. And aren’t you teaching right now? I thought class ends in like 10 minutes and-”

“Harry,” Louis said, stopping the younger lad’s constant questions. “I just… I need to talk to you.”

It was quiet for a second, the only sound being Harry’s breathing on the other end of the phone. “What’s wrong?” he asked quietly. “Babe are you okay?” Harry asked worriedly. “How’s Holden, is he-”

“It’s about Holden,” Louis said, stopping him again. “He… Well at daycare he got in a fight and this kid was bugging him about you leaving him and he pushed the kid down and was gonna hit him but I guess Hollie stopped him… And he’s starting to believe you won’t come back, and just… He misses you H, more than you know and he needs your help.”

Harry opened and closed his mouth, not believing Holden got in a fight but didn’t hesitate before telling Louis to put him on the phone.

Louis didn’t need to be told twice, heading back into the living room where Holden was lying with Addi on the couch and watching tv. “Here buddy,” he said, passing the phone to the 4 year old.

Holden looked at his daddy confused before slowly reaching for the phone and putting it to his ear. As soon as he heard who it was though he went wide eyed, just at hearing his papa’s voice feeling tears pool in his eyes.

Louis smiled down at his son, the toddler not even believing who he was talking to. He really wished they could talk to Harry more, something as simple as talking on the phone shouldn’t be some treat for Holden, but a regular occurrence. There was only so much he could do though. He talked to Harry as much as he could about it, constantly reminded him that if he has even 5 minutes it would mean the world to Holden for a simple text message or quick phone call. Louis doesn’t understand why the younger lad isn’t trying harder, especially when he himself says how hard this is and how much he misses them. If he missed them as much as he says he does then he would be trying harder.

But Louis offered Holden one more smile and kissed his head before going back into the kitchen, needing to make the two of them lunch so they don’t starve. He was beyond grateful that Harry could make Holden so happy so quickly, but he just wished these phone calls happened more often.

Less than a month, that’s what Louis had to tell himself. That there was less than a month left and all of this would be over. Harry would be home, and they would spend a great summer together. But for now they just had to take it one day at a time.

*~*

Louis let out a deep breath as he checked himself in the mirror, making sure everything fit right and that his suit actually looked complete.

“You look great mate,” Zayn said, coming up behind the older lad and clapping him on the back. “They fitted it perfectly thankfully,” he said, looking in the mirror at his own reflection and seeing himself in an identical suit to Louis’.

Louis opened his mouth, ready to agree before he saw Liam slowly come out of his own dressing room in his suit. “Mate… Holy shit, look at you,” he breathed out through a wide smile.

“Just a suit,” Liam shrugged sheepishly.

“Yeah, a suit you’ll be getting married in,” Zayn scoffed. “But really, you look great Li.”

Liam couldn’t help the grin that came to him as he glanced in the mirror and let out a shaky breath. “Can’t believe I’m getting married in a week,” he shook his head.

“Yeah, what happened to the 2 year old brat I used to know that stuck gummy bears up his nose?” Louis teased. “Or the the 6 year old who would fart in the bathtub just so he could pretend his battleships got blown up by the bubbles?”

Zayn let out a barking laugh as Liam’s face turned bright red. Louis thought maybe he could mention those in his toast at the wedding. It was his job as best man to thoroughly embarrass Liam, wasn’t it?

“I’m sorry Lou, but do I need to remind you what you used to do when you were 4 and just discovered nail polish and hair ba-”

“Alright, alright!” Louis said stopping him. “There is nothing wrong with wanting to feel pretty every now and then,” he joked, rolling his eyes and looking back in the mirror. “And you used to dress up with me so shut up.”

Zayn looked between the two before shaking his head at them and scoffing. “You guys were weird kids,” he muttered.

Liam and Louis glanced at each other, sending each other small smiles before shrugging. “Yeah, but we were weird together,” Liam said.

Louis hummed, nodding his agreement before patting the younger lad on the back. “Who woulda guessed we’d end up here? Picking up wedding suits and stuff.”

“Oh c’mon Lou, you always dreamed about marrying someone and having a thousand babies.”

Louis rolled his eyes at Liam before walking over to his bag on the bench and checking his phone. “Kinda did it in the wrong order though, didn’t I?” he asked through a quiet laugh.

Liam bit his lip as he looked at the older lad and offered him a soft smile. “That’s okay though mate,” he said quietly. “How is Holden? He doing any better?”

“Much,” Louis said, grinning back at his best mate. “After the whole daycare incident and he talked to Harry I took the phone back and talked to Harry about a few things.”

“And by that he means he yelled at the popstar for being shitty,” Zayn snickered, the older lad already telling him this at work after it happened.

Liam looked at Louis confused, not quite sure what Zayn was talking about. But then again Louis doesn’t discuss Harry with him often, and if he’s honest he doesn’t blame him.

“I didn’t yell at him,” Louis huffed. “I just shared a couple concerns I had…”

“By yelling at him,” Zayn muttered.

“I didn’t yell!”

Zayn breathed out a quiet “whatever”, knowing that Louis yelled at Harry, or raised his voice at him, whatever it is the older lad wants to call it.

“Mate what happened?” Liam asked with a touch of worry in his voice. “You guys are okay right?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Louis nodded, the past couple weeks being better than they have been since Harry left after their talk over the phone. “He just… I felt like he wasn’t trying hard enough to call or text back and it was hard on Holden, hard on me, and I just wanted some more effort put in. I mean he’s in Australia now, and I know the time difference is crazy, but I wished he would try just a little... ”

“Understandable,” Liam shrugged. “He’s pretty busy though, isn’t he? Like shows, interviews, all that fun stuff?”

“Yeah but he was calling maybe twice or three times a week when I know he could’ve called more,” Louis said quietly. “He’d be out clubbing and partying, and I want him to have fun, hell I told him to, and I’m happy he is, but just take a half hour, an hour to talk to us.”

“Things are good now though?” Liam asked with raised eyebrows. “I know H had that problem at daycare like what, was it 3 weeks ago?”

Louis hummed, the past 3 weeks maybe being the best since Harry left because the younger lad was now constantly texting and calling, and it was the communication Louis has been longing for.

“Things are great, especially with Holden” he said through a soft smile. “And best part is that Harry comes home in five days and then we’re jetting off.”

“He coming to the wedding?” Zayn asked as he began to pull off his suit and put it back in his garment bag to take home.

Louis bit his lip as he looked over to Liam, the brown eyed lad saying Harry could come, but he still wasn’t sure. “I uh, I dunno… He’s still thinking about it.”

“Well let him know he’s welcome,” Liam said, sending his best mate a small smile before pulling off his own suit. “Of course I don’t blame him if he doesn’t come, just thought it would be fun for you.”

“I know,” Louis breathed out, thinking he might have to convince Harry to go.

His mum was going to be there and he hasn’t seen her since Holden was born, and he could really use the moral support. Plus another certain someone was going to be there and Louis was a bit uneasy about seeing him again as well, but he was one of Liam’s best mates and groomsmen after all, he couldn’t avoid him forever.

“I’ll be sure to let you know. We’ll talk about it tonight over the phone hopefully and probably some more when he comes home.”

Liam looked over and nodded at the older lad, seeing he was already out of his suit and getting ready to go. “Do you have to get Holden or something? I thought the three of us could grab a few pints.”

“Yeah, sorry mate, Niall is watching him at the house and I know I can never leave those two alone for too long,” Louis laughed quietly. “Might come home to Rob shaved or Holden having new knowledge of where babies come from or something.”

“And you let the leprechaun watch him because…?” Zayn asked chuckled.

“Because Holden adores him,” Louis answered easily as he picked up his messenger bag and garment bag. “And to be honest I forgot over the past couple years how much I liked spending time with him too.”

Liam hummed, remembering how fun the Irish lad was all those years back. “Alright well say hi to Holden for us and I’ll call you later just to check in.”

“Sure,” Louis said, sending the two a quick smile before waving to them and saying a final goodbye.

He made his way out to his car, making sure to place the garment bag carefully in the passenger seat before taking off down the road.

It was crazy for Louis to think about Liam or getting married in a week, or just about Harry coming home in five days. It feels like it’s been forever since he saw the younger lad, and he couldn’t even put into words how much he’s missed him. Louis knew he was holding it all in, that since Harry left he’s been somewhat a shell of a man. He couldn’t help but feel incredibly lonely and so lost when the younger lad left, but now Harry was coming home. Now he could feel whole again.

*~*

“Daddy did papa send a video today?” Holden asked as he climbed into bed and got under his covers.

“He did,” Louis said through a soft smile, taking a seat on the bed and pulling out his phone.

This was something Louis loved that Harry did. Two or three times a week he would send videos or audio recordings of songs, some of them being covers, others he wrote himself. Harry’s been doing this since he sent them the first song he did, the one he wrote for Holden, and Louis knew it was the younger lad’s way of expressing what he couldn’t say. That’s what music was for Harry, another way to communicate when he lost his words, when he had a hard time getting what he wanted out. And if anything Louis saw that not only did it help Harry, but him and Holden in more ways than one as well. But Harry was coming home from Australia in three days, and finally after what felt like forever they could be together, they could be a family again.

Holden grinned happily at his daddy before scootching closer to him, wanting to look at his phone screen. “What he send today?”

“It looks like papa wrote a song for us tonight,” Louis said, trying to hold back the excitement he felt whenever the younger lad wrote them a song.

He loved covers as well, like Harry had done a cover of Fix You by Coldplay and it was so beautiful Louis had a hard time trying not to cry. But songs that the younger lad wrote were always so meaningful, so connected to their situation, and Louis always loved hearing how Harry as feeling. It was in the songs he wrote where Louis really understood what was going through the younger lad’s head, and it was that that brought him some type of peace, knowing Harry was going through exactly what they were, that it wasn’t any easier for him.

“Alright, ready?” Louis asked, getting an excited nod from the 4 year old.

“Yes!” Holden said excitedly, already tapping on his daddy’s phone screen to start the video.

Louis let out a quiet laugh as he watched his son, kissing his head quickly before focusing on his phone.

As usual Harry said a little message to the two of them before they watched him focus on the piano in front of him, the notes coming out soft and beautifully as the younger lad carefully played. And of course as Harry started to sing Louis nearly melted right there, his voice always being so strong and yet delicate and soothing at the same time. But it was the words that always got him. The lyrics Harry came up with were so honest and true that is made Louis’ heart break.

Already the song reminded him so much of them, of just how much he missed the younger lad and wished he was home already. And from the words Harry was singing he seemed just as, if not more desperate to come home, to be with them again.  **[(X)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=smZN_rO3j4I)**

 

**Another airplane, another sunny place**

**I’m lucky I know, but I wanna go home**

**Mmm, I got to go home**

**Let me go home**

**I’m just too far from where you are**

**I wanna come home**

 

**And I feel just like I’m living someone else’s life**

**It’s like I just stepped outside when everything was going right**

**And I know just why you could not come along with me**

**This was not your dream, but you always believed in me**

 

Louis could barely feel himself breathing as he watched Harry playing, the younger lad looking like he was trying to keep himself together on the screen. And of course Holden was still in his arms, biting his lip to keep from crying and keeping his eyes locked on the phone.

Louis kissed his head and rubbed his back, the words Harry was singing truly were heartbreaking, and three days seemed like forever away. The thought that they’ve even survived the past 3 months was shocking in itself, but at hearing this song three days couldn’t come faster.

And as the song went on that’s all he could think, the only thing that was running through his mind.  But he was so focused on that and watching Harry playing that he didn’t hear the footsteps on the stairs, nor did he hear his son’s bedroom door creak open. Louis was too lost in what was playing on his phone to even know that someone was there, but then he heard it.

All of a sudden it wasn’t just Harry’s voice through a speaker, but his actual voice, singing clear and crisp along with the video.

“It’ll all be alright… I’ll be home tonight… I’m coming back home…”

Louis’ head snapped up as Holden’s did at the singing voice, both going wide eyed at seeing Harry standing in the doorway, smiling so wide it must’ve hurt and gentle tears rolling down his cheeks at the sight of them.

“Oh my God…” Louis barely whispered, blinking quickly and trying to figure out if he was imagining things, but he was really there, Harry was directly in front of him. “Oh my God!!!”

“Papa!!!” Holden shrieked, bounding off his daddy’s lap and sprinting at his father.

Harry dropped to his son’s height, immediately engulfing him in a hug and trying to choke back a sob just at having Holden back in his arms. And it wasn’t even a second later Harry nearly fell to floor at feeling Louis knock into him, clinging to him for dear life and crying into his neck.

Louis tried to say something, just anything as he was back in Harry’s arms, the younger lad holding onto him and Holden so tightly, so securely that Louis almost thought he was in a dream.

“W-why- h-how are y-you home?” Louis managed to choke out, just barely being able to be heard over Holden’s crying as he clung to his papa.

Harry let out a watery laugh, kissing both Louis’ and Holden’s heads before pulling them impossibly closer. “Who needs interviews and talk shows when I can come home to you two?”

Louis didn’t even have time to smile before he felt Harry’s lips on his, the feeling of warmth and comfort that he’s been missing for so long was back in an instant. And God he never wanted to lose this feeling ever again.

“I love you and I missed you two so much, my God,” Harry rushed out, kissing Holden’s head before connecting his lips with older lad’s again again.

Louis couldn’t help but grin against Harry, cupping his cheeks and letting out a deep breath against the younger lad.

Holden wasn’t doing anything, just clinging to his father and if he had it his way he wasn’t going to let go anytime soon. Even if Addi was barking and trying to get his papa’s attention Holden was going to hog as much of his father as he could.

“I love you so much,” Louis mumbled against him, pecking his lips a few more times before releasing him and tucking his head in his neck, just breathing him in. “I can’t believe you’re home, I hate you, I hate surprises,” he laughed against the younger lad.

Harry chuckled to himself, pressing his lips to Louis’ temple before pulling Holden closer to him. “Oh, so that’s why you’re smiling and happy? You hate me?” he teased.

“...Yes.”

Even Holden rolled his eyes as he heard his daddy, but he couldn’t care about his father being ridiculous because he was in his papa’s arms and he was finally home.

“I miss you so much papa,” he said quietly, kissing his father’s cheek before hugging him a bit tighter.

“And I can’t even say how much I missed you buddy,” Harry barely whispered. “I love you so so so much.”

“I love you too,” Holden mumbled into his papa’s chest.

Harry couldn’t help the smile that came to him, still not believing he was back home, that his two boys were in his arms. Coming home early and skipping out on his interviews was probably the best decision he’s made in the past 3 months. He wasn’t letting these two go anytime soon, and he was happy they had the same thought as they finally got up from off the floor and Harry carried Holden to Louis’ room.

There was nothing more he wanted than to stay awake and catch up with Holden but he knew the toddler had to go to bed so he thought he could at least lay with him and talk quietly until he passes out.

Louis couldn’t help the smile that came to him as he watched Harry put Holden on the bed and tug his own clothes off so he could lay down as well. And it was almost immediate Holden was right by his papa’s side, gripping onto him like he could leave any second before talking his father’s ear off, telling him all about what they’ve been up to and how much he missed him.

And Harry just held and listened to his son, almost having to bite back tears just at having him in his arms again, laying here with him and seeing just how big he got, how much he’s grown these past couple months. When he caught Louis’ eye as he continued to listen to Holden the older lad was looking at him like this was all a dream, that none of this was real. So he reached for Louis, tugging him towards the bed and as soon as he laid down he attached himself to Harry’s side.

They just listened to Holden talk and talk, and occasionally he would let his papa tell him how touring was and what is was like to play in front of thousands of people. But what Holden kept coming back to, what he said over and over again was how much he missed his papa.

Harry was sure those were the last words the 4 year old mumbled as he fell asleep tucked into his side. And it was then Harry looked down to Louis, a slow smile creeping to his lips as he saw the older lad grinning back at him.

“I missed you,” he whispered.

Louis couldn’t help but laugh quietly to himself as he rolled to his side and carded his fingers through Harry’s curls. He still couldn’t believe that he was here, that he was home.

“I missed you too,” Louis said quietly, knowing they couldn’t talk above a murmur without potentially waking Holden up. “Thank you for coming home early…. Means a lot.”

“I wasn’t going to waste an opportunity to come home early,” Harry said softly as he shook his head. “Being without you two for so long… M’not gonna lie I lost it a few times…”

Louis bit his lip as he let out a small breath and pushed his fingers through Harry’s curls. “You’re home now…”

“And here to stay,” Harry whispered, pressing his lips to Louis’ temple and rubbing his back.

Louis hummed, if possible snuggling even closer to the younger lad. He had Harry all to himself for over a month before he was back on the road. But it was a month Louis was going to hold onto for as long as possible. They had a lot of catching up to do, and the first thing Louis wanted to do to catch up was carefully get up from the bed, tugging at Harry’s hand and quietly leading him to the bathroom, hoping the sound of the shower could cover up any noises that might escape him or the younger lad. He couldn't help it. 3 months is a long time after all.

*~*

“You okay?” Harry asked softly, fixing Louis’ tie as he saw him internally freaking out.

“M’fine,” Louis breathed out, trying to convince himself. “I can’t believe today has finally come… I should probably check on Liam, it’s just Zayn with him and God only knows what he’s saying to him.”

Harry nodded, giving the older lad’s sides a gentle squeeze. “Well you know if tonight you get uncomfortable or just want to leave we can.”

“I know,” Louis said quietly, not sure what will happen when he sees his mom.

He knows Holden won’t even recognize her, the only time he’s seen her was a few times when he was just born and at the hospital. Louis was excited for the night, his best mate was getting married after all, and Harry had decided to come after he begged the younger lad for days, but there were still things he was nervous about tonight.

“Love, you get H and take your seats alright? I’m gonna go to Liam’s room.”

“Sure,” Harry nodded, offering the older lad a small smile before pecking his lips. “Good luck up there.”

Louis grinned back at him, kissing him one last time before he watched Harry take Holden’s hand and lead him out of the room.

He let out a deep breath, checking himself one more time in the mirror before leaving the small room, making his way towards Liam’s. It was crazy to think that his best mate was getting married, that after everything that’s happened this past year he was even here and Harry was actually here with him. When he walked into Liam’s room though sure enough the younger lad was in his suit, smiling so wide it must’ve hurt.

“Louis, hey.”

Louis snapped his head up, his eyes immediately going wide as he saw the brunette man smiling at him. “Sean… Uhm hi, how uhm, how are you doing? Haven’t seen you in awhile,” he said through an airy laugh.

“M’good,” Sean nodded happily. “It’s really nice to see you. I’ve been thinking about-”

“Louis!!”

“Mate! Hey!” Louis said, immediately going over to Liam and wrapping his arms around him, just a bit too relieved to not hear whatever else it was Sean was going to say. “You excited? It’s finally happening!”

“I know, I know, I can’t wait to get out there,” Liam said, nearly bouncing in his shoes. “How’re you? Have you seen your mum yet?” he asked quietly.

“No,” Louis shook his head, looking to his shoes. “I was just with Harry and Holden. I won’t see her until later… Maybe.”

“I’m sorry Lou, my mum made me invite her, they’re still friends and-”

“Stop, stop, it’s fine,” Louis chuckled. “I want to focus on you, it’s your day.”

Liam laughed sheepishly as he nodded, still in shock that he was about to get married.

“You all set? You need anything?” Louis asked.

“Nah, I’m good,” Liam waved off. “Check on Zayn though, I gotta talk to Sean real quick.”

Louis glanced over to Sean, the older lad already smiling at him so he offered him a quick grin back before scurrying over to Zayn. “Hey,” he breathed out.

“Hey mate,” Zayn said happily, glancing up from his phone before looking right back down at it. “How’s Harry and Holden? They excited?”

“Holden can’t contain himself, my little ring bearer,” Louis laughed quietly. “Harry has him now, they’re just waiting inside until it starts, then I’ll get H.”

“Good plan,” Zayn muttered, keeping his eyes locked on his phone. “How is Harry doing with being here and all?”

Louis shrugged. “He’s good. I’m just grateful he came, I had to basically beg him but because my mum is gonna be here he said he’d come for moral support.”

“M’sure you had to do a few favors to convince him, huh?” Zayn asked through a small smirk.

“Please,” Louis scoffed as he rolled his eyes. “Since he came back home it’s been nothing but, ya know…”

“Really?” Zayn asked quietly, suddenly interested. “Get it in Lou. How’s it been?”

Louis opened his mouth, not even sure how to describe it. The only thing he could do was try to hide his sheepish laugh and shake his head.

“Crazy mate… It’s been a week and let’s just say we ran out of a new box of condoms already,” he whispered, his gaze focused on the floor so Zayn wouldn’t see his blush. “Not gonna lie it’s been hard to keep Holden out of the bedroom, he’s basically attached to Harry at the hip. But as soon as he falls asleep we put him in his room.”

“Fuck mate, literally,” Zayn scoffed.

“Got a lot to catch up on,” Louis said through a quiet laugh.

Zayn hummed, clapping his best mate on the back before sending him a proud grin. “Does Harry uhm… Does he know Sean is here?” he whispered.

Louis opened and closed his mouth, looking over to the older lad before glancing back at Zayn. “Well he uh… He doesn’t know Sean exists.”

“...What?”

“It’s- it’s not like it’s a big deal,” Louis stuttered out.

“Louis!” Zayn whisper yelled. “Yes it’s a big deal! He’ll freak if he finds out!!”

And again Louis was a bit at a loss of what to say, so instead he didn’t say anything. He didn’t think Harry would freak out. Maybe he’d be a bit upset, but it’s not like Harry would be really mad. At least he didn’t think he’d be really mad…

Louis couldn’t worry about this now though, Harry and Sean were the least of his troubles. Right now he was more concerned with his best mate getting married.

So he began his best man duties, making sure Liam was okay and that he had everything he needed before they all made their way towards the church doors to line up.

It was all so surreal, like none of this was happening. Holden lining up with them in his little tux and the pillow with the rings on it, the toddler nearly yelling how excited he was for his uncle. But all of this was happening.

Sophia’s maid of honor tucked her arm into the crook of Louis’ elbow and they were walking down the aisle to the soft music.

Once Louis was in place he looked out over at everyone, smiling at Liam’s mum and mouthing a quick “hi”. But then he saw his mum next to her, the older woman offering him a timid smile, and all he did was nod back at her once before scanning over the crowd for Harry.

It wasn’t hard to find him, him sitting in the front row and already smiling widely at him and giving him a thumbs up. It was impossible not to roll his eyes at the younger lad though, his attention was taken away by Holden coming down the aisle next, the toddler having a proud smile as he carried the rings.

Louis grinned widely at his son, mouthing a happy “good job buddy!” before the 4 year old took his seat next to Harry. And when he looked over to Liam next to him, the younger lad nearly crying from how excited he was Louis couldn’t help but rub his back, smiling at him and thinking that this is the first day of the rest of his best mate’s life.

*~*

“See? This isn’t so bad is it?” Louis asked through a quiet laugh as Harry swayed them gently to the soft and slow music playing.

“Suppose not,” Harry fake huffed as he looked around the reception room, his eyes catching on Holden who was slow dancing with Zayn and making a huge production of it. “Get to spend the night with you and H after all.”

“Cute,” Louis muttered, resting his head on Harry’s shoulder and squeezing his side gently. “We’re only an hour into the reception and you’re already trying to get me into bed… C’mon love,” he teased.

“Oh hush,” Harry rolled his eyes. “I mean we both know how tonight will end, but right now I think I like dancing with you,” he said, dipping his head to kiss the older lad’s temple.

Louis hummed, pulling Harry just a bit closer to him as they danced. “You’ve really been amazing tonight…”

Harry let out a quiet breath as he looked down at Louis and rubbed his back. “Love, you should talk to her.”

“Later,” Louis said plainly.

“Okay…” Harry said softly, not sure if Louis was going to talk to his mum at all tonight. He thought the older lad should at least try.

“Excuse me.”

Louis stopped as he felt a gentle hand on his arm, turning his head and swallowing thickly as he saw Sean smiling at him.

“Mind if I cut in?” Sean asked Harry, gesturing to the blue eyed lad.

Harry looked at him for a moment, not even sure if Louis knew him, or why this guy wanted to dance with his boyfriend. But he muttered a “sure” anyway, offering Louis a soft smile before squeezing his side and walking off to dance with Holden.

“C’mere H, your pop wants a dance,” Harry said, offering his hand to his son.

Holden didn’t need to be told twice before leaving his uncle Zayn behind and nearly leaping in his papa’s arms. “Dance slow like how you and daddy dance,” he said, grabbing his father’s hands and very slowly moving them to the music.

“Go get yourself a bridesmaid there mate. Maybe you can get lucky tonight,” Harry said, winking at the raven haired man.

“Already had one picked out,” Zayn said, clapping the younger lad on the back before heading off towards the blonde bridesmaid across the room.

Harry rolled his eyes before focusing back on Holden, smiling softly at him as they danced. But then his gaze flickered to Louis, the older lad biting his lip and grinning up at whoever it was he dancing with.

“Buddy do you know who that is with daddy?”

Holden scanned around the room until his eyes fell on his father, nodding as he saw who his daddy was dancing with. “That Sean, he used to come over all the time.”

Harry looked down at his son confused, not once ever hearing Louis mention Sean before. But when he saw the older lad trying to keep back a laugh and a small blush rose on his cheeks Harry couldn’t help but feel his stomach twist into knots. He wasn’t going to go over there and make a scene though, Harry was sure if he asked Louis would tell him exactly who Sean was and how he knew him. For now he was focusing on his son, gently swaying them to the music and twirling him around the princess he sometimes is.

But even with Holden dancing with him and looking as cute as ever Harry couldn’t peel his eyes away from Louis and Sean. He hated how his boyfriend was looking at Sean, how he was laughing and smiling at him. It wasn’t until the song was over did he see the two break apart but still stayed a bit too close for Harry’s liking.

“Papa I gonna go find uncle Liam and Aunt Sophia!” Holden said, already skipping off towards the two to dance with them.

Harry nodded at him, already heading over to Louis and Sean, trying his hardest not to scowl as he saw the two grinning like mad at each other. “Lou,” he said with raised eyebrows, looking between them. “Can we uh, can we talk?”

“Yeah, of course,” Louis smiled at him.

“I’ll catch up with you later Lou,” Sean said, rubbing the blue eyed lad’s back. “Mr.Styles, I love your music. It’s so great to meet you, I’m Sean.”

“Nice to meet you too,” Harry said, offering him a polite smile before looking back to Louis and nodding towards the door so they could talk in the hallway.

Louis followed after Harry, knowing what the younger lad was going to ask, and he could only hope that he wouldn’t be upset.

“So,” Harry drawled out as soon as they were in the hallway, away from everyone and the blaring music. “Who’s Sean?”

Louis shifted his weight on his feet, biting his lip as he focused his gaze to the ground. “He’s uh, well he works with Liam at the hospital, they’re mates,” he said quietly.

Harry raised his eyebrows at the older lad, knowing there was more to the story and just waiting for Louis to spill.

“We may have… We dated about 2 years ago,” Louis barely whispered.

Harry just looked at him, letting out deep breaths and crossing his arms over his chest. “Was it serious?”

Louis opened and closed his mouth, not sure how serious “serious” was. “W-well I dunno, it was only for a few months before I ended it…”

“He met Holden though? And came to the house often?”

“Holden was only 2, but yes they met and yes he stayed over at the house a few times,” Louis said quietly.

Harry let out a shaky breath as he ran his hand over his face. “Did you two have sex?” he asked, his voice sounding strained.

“No,” Louis said almost immediately, seeing the younger lad getting mad. “Harry I swear we didn’t, I couldn’t, I… I was trying to get over you.”

“It must’ve been pretty serious though if you introduced him to our son… If he was staying the night and playing my part!” Harry said, trying his hardest not to raise his voice.

“Harry you have no right to get mad at me,” Louis said quietly, wanting him to calm down. “Every night you went out drinking and God only knows who or how many people you’ve slept with over the years… I went out with one guy, and yeah we may have done a couple things but I was trying to move on with my life.”

“I already told you, I didn’t sleep with anyone,” Harry said sternly.

“Like you would remember,” Louis said with raised eyebrows. “Blacking out every night, countless clubs, grinding up on whoever and whatever you could get your hands on. Sound familiar?”

Harry clenched his jaw, not wanting to get mad, not wanting to fight. “Louis I didn’t sleep with anyone,” he said seriously. “I basically hired Clara to make sure every night I went home… Alone,” he said softly. “Even after everything I loved you, I couldn’t with anyone else.”

“And I loved you,” Louis said, taking a step closer to the younger lad. “I still do, more than you know… This isn’t something to fight over H… You love me, I love you, we’re back together and happier than we’ve been in a long time. Let’s not ruin it over something as stupid as this.”

Harry bit his lip as he focused on his shoes, nodding slightly. “I’m sorry,” he barely whispered. “It’s because I love you that makes me… Overreact.”

“I know love,” Louis said through a quiet laugh. “It’s okay,” he said, rubbing the younger lad’s back. “We should get back in there… I think it’s time I talk to a certain someone.”

“Only if you want to.”

“Want to, no. Have to, yes,” Louis muttered, taking the younger lad’s hand and giving it a gentle squeeze. “She is my mum after all…”

Harry bit his lip as he looked over at Louis, it being clear that talking to his mum was the last thing he wanted to do. But he was going to be there for the older lad no matter what. Even if it meant smiling too much to seem polite or pull Louis away if he started screaming at his mum, he was ready for anything.

“I didn’t see the girls here, so that’s two less battles to fight,” Louis said as they made their way back into the reception room.

“It’s gonna be fine love,” Harry said softly. “We’ll find her, say hello, get Holden, dance for a bit and go home. Then we’ll have some you and I time,” he whispered into the older lad’s hair, making Louis laugh quietly and nod.

“You know we don’t have any condoms at the house,” Louis said under his breath.

“Those things get in the way,” Harry waved off, earning another laugh out of the older lad. “I love you, you know.”

“Yeah, yeah, love you too,” Louis said, rolling his eyes before standing on his toes and kissing Harry’s cheek.

Harry smiled down at him, pulling the older lad closer to his side and rubbing his back, hoping that he could calm Louis just the tiniest the closer they got to his mum.

Louis bit his lip, mentally and physically preparing himself to talk to his mum, but he didn’t think anything could get him ready for what he was about to face. “Uhm h-hi mum,” he said quietly, getting the older woman’s attention.

“Louis, hi,” she said, offering him a small smile as she got up from her seat. “It’s so nice to see you sweetheart, you look great.”

“Yeah well, 4 years is a while to not see someone, probably changed quite a bit,” Louis muttered as he crossed his arms over his chest.

Harry’s face fell, looking over to Louis wide eyed before looking back to his mum and opening and closing his mouth. “Mrs.Tomlinson, hi, it’s uh, it’s good to see you again,” he said, offering her his hand.

“Harry,” Jay said, grinning back at the younger lad, completely disregarding what her son said. “It’s good to see you too. A bit surprised you’re here and with Louis.”

Harry heard Louis scoff, and he swears each second that passed the older lad was getting more and more upset. He’s only met Louis’ mum once and that was nearly 6 years ago but she was just as cold as he remembers.

“Well Lou and I got back together,” he said, wrapping his arm around the older lad and grinning down at him. “It’s been almost a year since we reconnected,” Harry said happily.

Jay hummed, glancing over at her son who refused to look back at her. “I’m sure the boy is happy to finally have a real father.”

And again Harry felt his jaw go slack, looking over to Louis and seeing him trying his hardest to not start screaming.

“That “boy” has a name,” Louis said through gritted teeth. “You know, your grandson…”

“Right,” Jay breathed out.

Louis scoffed and rolled his eyes, his mum being her same self, not having a care about him, about Holden, he was tired of it, has been for years. “Well good talk, see you in another 4 or hopefully 10 or so years,” he muttered, already walking off before she could say anything.

Harry watched shocked as Louis walked away, that not going the way he thought it would at all, but there was nothing he could do besides watch Louis’ mum shake her head and rush after the older lad.

“Louis! Lou, hang on!” he said, jogging after him.

“Harry don’t,” Louis said, tugging his arm out of the younger lad’s grasp and kept on walking to find Holden. “She’s never going to change and I can’t force her to.”

“Love listen to me for a second,” Harry said, finally getting Louis to stop walking. “I’m not gonna force you to talk to her, hell she doesn’t deserve a second of your time,” he said softly, wrapping his arms around the older lad. “Just wanna make sure you’re okay… She said some pretty terrible things for a 2 minute conversation…”

“That’s just her, been like that since before I can remember,” Louis rolled his eyes. “But I’m fine, I just want to make sure Holden doesn’t go anywhere near her.”

Harry looked at him for a moment, making sure he really was okay before nodding and kissing him gently. The two went off and found Holden though, putting all the bad things behind them and instead focused on dancing like fools with their son.

The music was loud, Holden had too much energy he needed to burn and Harry and Louis had no problem dancing circles around the 4 year old. For the rest of the night they were going to have a great time, and everything with Louis’ mum and Sean were thrown in the back of their heads. And it stayed that way until the three of them were sweating like crazy and the last ones on the dancefloor.

Louis had said his congratulations to Liam and Sophia, said bye to Zayn and waved to Sean before he picked up his dozing off son and took Harry’s hand in his own. But luckily when they got home and Holden was in bed Louis found that he still had just enough energy to drag his boyfriend to their bedroom and rid them of their clothes.

*~*

**Germany**

“See? A 2 hour plane ride wasn’t so bad,” Harry said, rubbing the older lad’s back.

“I’m gonna puke,” Louis mumbled, feeling more nauseous than he has in the past two weeks .

Granted those two weeks were bad, but this was just awful. Stomach aches and pains were nothing compared to this and he blamed the plane ride. But Louis knew what he was getting himself into when he agreed to tour with Harry, he just didn’t think it’d be this bad.

“Wait are you really?” Harry asked worriedly, Louis looking a little pale. “Babe, what’s wrong? What do you need? I can get you some medicine or maybe-”

“No, no, m’fine,” Louis waved off. “Just lemme sleep for 10 hours,” he said, already snuggling into the hotel comforter and letting out deep breaths to get over his stomach doing flips.

Harry bit his lip as he looked at Louis, growing a bit more nervous for him. It wasn’t like it was a long flight, just 2 hours, but the older lad was acting like they flew to LA.

“Love are you sure you’re okay? You know I have a show tonight, do you think you’ll be okay by then?” he asked softly. “I don’t want to leave you here if you don’t feel well.”

“H stop, really I’ll be okay. M’just taking a little nap the same time Holden is so I can regain my strength,” Louis mumbled into his pillow. “We’ll be at the show tonight, no worries.”

“Sure,” Harry said quietly, offering him a small smile. “I’m gonna unpack ours and Holdens things while you nap then. If you need anything ask,” he said, kissing the blue eyed lad’s temple softly before getting up from the bed.

Louis hummed, just barely able to comprehend what Harry said before forgetting about his stomach ache and slipping into a very deep sleep.

*~*

“Papa why do you wear makeup?” Holden asked, his face scrunching up in confusion as he watched some lady running a brush over his face.

“So when I get up on stage my eyes will sparkle and I’ll look pretty,” Harry said, making Niall, Ed and Louis snicker from the other side of the dressing room.

“You don’t need makeup to look pretty,” Holden mumbled.

Harry looked over to his son, flashing him a soft smile before looking straight ahead again so the makeup artist could finish. “Thank you buddy.”

“Papa can I go on stage with you?” Holden asked, making his way over to his father and climbing in his lap. “I a real good singer, I swear.”

“Oh I know you are,” Harry said, kissing the 4 year old’s head and wrapping his arms around him. “And maybe I can have you up there for a little bit,” he said, it almost sounding like a question though as he glanced over to Louis with raised eyebrows.

Louis rolled his eyes, but nodded at the younger lad, knowing Holden loved the spotlight as much if not more than Harry did.

“Wait!” Niall said, seeming like he got a great idea. “Uhm well Lou, Ed, Harry, the adults in the room,” he started off, clearing his throat. “Since we are in Germany would anyone be interested in uhm… Lighting up some grass with me?” Niall asked, trying to sound as inconspicuous as possible.

“No,” both Louis and Harry said at the same time, but were out yelled by a very loud “yes!!” from Ed.

“C’mon Ni, let’s do it before the show starts,” Ed said, already pushing himself off the couch and checking his pockets for a lighter.

Niall didn’t need to be told twice before bounding out of his seat and following after the ginger haired man.

It was quiet in the room for a second, the only noises coming from Holden playing with the makeup brushes and hairspray filling the room.

“You know you can,” Louis said quietly as he bit his lip. “I mean… Not like now because of you know who. But later tonight when he’s asleep or something,” he said softly. “Don’t want to hold you back from what you normally do on tour.”

Harry bit the inside of his cheek as he glanced over at Louis and shook his head. “Nah, it’s okay,” he said. “I mean I will if you want to later,” Harry offered. “I seem to remember we used to have some pretty good s-e-x when we were both a bit… Ya know.”

Louis felt his cheeks heat up, the makeup artist smirking and Holden having no clue what his father said, but Louis knew exactly what he was talking about. “Yeah well… I dunno. I still don’t feel that great.”

“Babe are you sure you’re okay?” Harry asked worriedly. “You’ve hardly eaten anything, you’re sweating like crazy and you’ve had a stomach ache for like two weeks now.”

“Harry I’m not eating because I’m not hungry, I’m sweating because it’s summer and a thousand degrees outside and my stomach ache will pass. I’m fine,” Louis said almost sternly, not wanting him to worry.

“If you’re sure…” Harry breathed out.

Louis hummed, yes he was sure, and yes he was okay, there was nothing to be scared about. And he could see the way Harry would glance at him, look at him with nothing but worry but Louis knew he was fine.

He tried to assure the younger lad that he was okay all night, even when he was getting ready to go on stage and was kissing him and Holden. But with a final good luck from him and the 4 year old Harry nodded, taking his guitar and offering the two of them a small grin before he made his way on stage.

Louis swears he forgot what it was like to watch Harry perform on stage in front of a huge audience like this. Thousands of people screaming, cheering, clapping and singing along, and they were all there for him.

Holden was screaming his head off, constantly begging his daddy to take his headphones off but each time Louis said a firm “no”, not needing his son to go deaf. But when the time came Harry was just talking and walking around on stage he invited Holden to join him and the 4 year old didn’t even wait for his daddy to tell him it was okay before running to his papa on stage.

Harry felt his son’s little body crash into him, an immediate reaction coming from the crowd as they saw him. “Hey big guy,” he said through an airy laugh, already tired from playing, the stage lights bright and it being more than hot outside.

“Hello!!” Holden said excitedly into the microphone, waving to the crowd. “I’m Holden Edward Tomlinson! How are you?!” he yelled.

Louis had to slap a hand over his mouth as he heard his son and the crowd going absolutely berserk. Even Harry was looking at the 4 year old wide eyed, but neither of them could help the loud laughs that escaped them. Their son really was something…

“Okay papa what song we gonna play next?” Holden asked, wiggling out of his father’s arms and walking around stage.

Harry raised his eyebrows at Holden, the 4 year old taking his microphone so it’s not like he could answer. So he had to wave to a crew member for a new one, and once he got one he turned to his son, watching his every move just in case something happened on stage.

“Up next we have Let me love you,” Harry said, scooping his son up and bringing him over to the piano. “That was the first song I wrote for your daddy,” he said through a soft smile, earning “awws” from the crowd.

“Papa write songs and daddy fall in love with him,” Holden informed the audience.

Even though no one could see him Louis felt his cheeks turn bright pink, and a snickering and high Niall and Ed didn’t help anything. But still, Louis watched and listened to Harry play, his two boys on the big screen and Holden looking at his papa like he didn’t believe he was real. And Louis couldn’t keep his eyes off them, almost having to stop a tear from slipping as he listened to Harry sing the song he wrote for him all those years ago and their son watching so intently, it was like the world stilled. Luckily Louis got to watch moments like this for the next month, but he wasn’t sure if he would ever get used to it.

*~*

**Italy**

“Lou… Louis, you alright?” Harry asked quietly, knocking gently on the door.

Louis let out a few deep breaths, leaning back against the small airplane bathroom and wiping his mouth. “Yeah,” he said shakily.

Harry shook his head knowing for a fact that the older lad wasn’t okay. They were in Germany for a week and all week Louis wasn’t feel well, and now on the plane he’s worse than ever. He wasn’t sure if they were even on the plane for an hour before Louis rushed off to the bathroom, and Harry could hear him throwing up.

“Love what do you need? Can I get you water or anything?”

“No, no, I’m okay,” Louis said, slowly pushing himself off the floor and reaching for the sink. “It’s just the plane ride, you know how I get,” he said, splashing water on his face and releasing a few more deep breaths.

“Louis, open the door,” Harry said, this not being caused by the plane but he feared something worse.

Louis tried to calm down, tried to get past the twisting feeling in his stomach but nothing seemed to work. He had to go out there though. He knew Harry was nervous beyond belief and he wasn’t helping anyone by locking himself in the bathroom.

“H I’m fine, I swear,” Louis said quietly as he slowly opened the door. “It’s just the travelling, I’ll get over it as soon as we land.”

“Louis stop,” Harry said, grabbing the older lad’s arm to keep him from moving. “This isn’t just travelling, you’ve been sick for weeks,” he said, trying to keep his voice low and not sound as worried as he was.

“From the travelling,” Louis said, wanting him to calm down.

“This started a week before the travelling, you know when Holden had summer camp?” Harry said with raised eyebrows. “When we land we’re going to the doctor.”

“Harry, no,” Louis said firmly. “I’m fine, please stop worrying,” he said, rubbing the younger lad’s arm. “You’ll see, as soon as we land I’ll be back to my old self.”

Harry just looked at Louis for a moment, biting his lip and shaking his head, still not comfortable with Louis not seeing a doctor. “If we land and you still don’t feel well we’re going. I don’t care if you want to or not, we’re going to the doctors.”

“Deal,” Louis said, offering his boyfriend a soft smile, trying to convince him he really was fine.

“Good,” Harry said, pulling Louis into his chest and kissing his hair. “Are you sure you don’t need anything?”

All Louis did was roll his eyes and groan as he heard Harry before getting out of the younger lad’s arms and heading towards the couch to lay down. He swears, he’s fine, it’s just the travelling.

*~*

Louis clutched the sides of the toilet, emptying the contents of his stomach and coughing to try to catch his breath. He sat back on the floor, against the tub as he caught his breath and brought his tie that was thrown over his shoulder back around his front.

Louis just sat there for a minute, wiping the sweat off his forehead and trying to calm his racing heart. But he knew if he didn’t come out of the bathroom soon Harry would start to worry. They’ve been in Italy for almost three days now and so far he’s been able to hide getting sick from the younger lad, but Louis wasn’t sure how long he could keep this up.

“Lou,” Harry said knocking on the door. “You almost ready? We have a reservation.”

“Yeah, yeah, just doing my hair, be out in a minute,” Louis said, already getting off the floor to turn off the running water.

“Alright, well Niall already has Holden, so whenever you’re ready we can go.”

“Okay,” Louis breathed out, grabbing mouthwash and making sure he was presentable.

He hoped things would go well during dinner, that he wouldn’t feel nauseous or have the urge to throw up. Or even the newest thing that’s been happening, sweating through his clothes and feeling like he was standing in the middle of the desert. Louis knows it’s summer, but how hot and clammy and sweaty he constantly was was just terrible.

“Hey, there you are,” Harry said happily as he pushed himself off the bed. “You look great love,” he said, kissing the older lad’s cheek quickly.

“As do you,” Louis said, smiling at him and reaching for his suit jacket. “Happy you have a free night so we can actually go out.”

“My single night without a show, let’s take a full advantage of it,” Harry said, winking at the older lad before patting his bum, taking his hand and leading him out of the room. “You’ve been having a good time right?” he asked with furrowed eyebrows. “Like being with me, on tour.”

Louis scoffed. “Are you kidding me?” he asked as they walked down the hallway to the lift. “Babe being here with you… It’s been amazing to say the least.”

And it was true despite him being sick at least three times a day. He got to see amazing cities and monuments, try all these different foods and meet these amazing people from places he’s never seen. Not only that but Holden was having the time of his life. Every night joining Harry on stage for a bit and playing with Ed and Niall, the 4 year old couldn’t stop smiling, and Louis couldn’t get enough of it. The days were full of fun adventures through the foreign cities and nights with concerts, it was the summer Louis has been waiting and aching for. And even though he hasn’t been feeling all that great, the minor bad moments are easily shadowed by the good.

*~*

**France**

“Lou,” Harry whispered, carefully running his fingers down the older lad’s bare back, trying to wake him up. “Love…”

Louis grumbled to himself, tucking his head just a bit further into Harry’s neck and wrapping his arm just a bit tighter over his waist. “What?”

Harry bit his lip, his eyes locked on his boyfriend on his chest and a deep breath releasing from him as he realized what he was about to say. “Louis move in with me.”

Louis stilled for a second, his eyes slowly opening and picking up his head to look at the younger lad. “Why do you always say shit like this when I’m sleeping?”

“What other shit have I said while you’re sleeping?” Harry asked through a quiet laugh, seeing Louis smiling back at him in the dark room.

“You asked me to be your boyfriend,” Louis said with raised eyebrows.

“Whatever, I’m a late night thinker,” Harry rolled his eyes. “But will you? Move in with me I mean?”

Louis bit his lip, trying his hardest to hold back his widening grin as he really thought about what Harry was asking. “And if I say yes?”

“And if you say yes then I’m gonna buy you a big ole house and fill it with a bunch of fancy things,” Harry laughed into the older lad’s hair before pulling him impossibly closer to his chest. “As soon as this tour is done we’re going to find a house and it’ll be a place Holden can grow up in… A place we can grow our family.”

At that Louis picked his head up, his eyes locking on Harry and he couldn’t believe his idiot of a boyfriend was asking him to move in with him, to build their family with him at 4 am in France, the Eiffel tower right outside their window, lighting up the otherwise dark room. And nothing could ever be more perfect.

“Well if I get all that then I guess I’ll move in with you,” Louis whispered teasingly, brushing his fingers through the younger lad’s curls. “I mean we basically live together already…”

“But now I get to buy you a house and it’s official,” Harry said softly through his growing smile. “No more going back and forth between my flat and your house… We’ll have a place all our own.”

Louis grinned back at him, cupping Harry’s cheek before pressing their lips together gently. “I love you, you idiot.”

“Love you too,” Harry hummed against him. “Okay, now you can go back to sleep.”

Louis scoffed and rolled his eyes, immediately dropping himself back onto the younger lad’s chest and tucking his head into his neck. He couldn't believe he was moving in with his idiot of a boyfriend.

*~*

“Harry you know I hate surprises,” Louis muttered as he glanced out the plane window. He knew they were somewhere in the United States, but where was the question.

“Well good thing it’s a surprise for Holden and not you,” Harry said, kissing the 4 year old all over his face and making him squirm and giggle in his lap.

“But whatever this is isn’t on your tour schedule, trust me, I basically memorized the thing,” Louis said, feeling the plane stop under them and he got up to get their bags.

Harry scoffed as he rolled his eyes and got up to help the older lad. “That’s because I may have added a few dates that don’t exist so we could go on this little excursion.”

“Papa you better tell daddy where we are so he no freak out,” Holden mumbled as he put on his backpack Niall was passing him.

“H surprises are more fun when kept secret,” Harry said, sending a wink to the 4 year old.

“But you know how I get,” Louis said with raised eyebrows. “I can’t handle not knowing, just give me something to work with!”

“Nope,” Harry said, popping the ‘p’ as he checked around the plane and made sure everyone had their things. “You’ll find out in about a half hour anyway, you’re fine.”

Louis groaned as he followed the younger lad out of the jet, getting hit with immediate heat and bright sunshine. Maybe they weren’t in the United States after all. Maybe they were at some tropical island paradise and Harry was just surprising them with a few days of relaxation and break from the constant touring.

“Louis, Lou, c’mere, get Holden,” Harry said, stopping in his tracks as he saw the wall of paps on the blacktop.

Louis muttered to himself as he saw the men with cameras, a real downside to the touring being the paps that track their every move and know where they are at all times. But luckily Holden was always in good hands and the 4 year old was used to the constant pictures. Thankfully Ed already had Holden, and if there was one thing Louis learned about the ginger lad it was that he was more protective over Holden than anyone combined. He swears Ed is like the 4 year old’s personal bodyguard, but he wasn’t going to complain, not in the slightest.

“He’s fine love, Ed has him,” Louis said, slipping his hand into the younger lad’s and ducking his head, trying to ignore the flashing lights.

Harry looked over his shoulder, letting out a relieved breath as he saw his son with Ed. He was happy security was already there and pushing them back but it was impossible to miss how annoyed Louis got whenever the paps came around. Within minutes they were all in a car though, away from the hot sun and flashing camera lights.

“Do you guys know where we’re going?” Louis asked, looking between Niall and Ed.

But all they did was was shrug and shake their heads innocently, and Louis could see right through it. They knew exactly where they were going, but he knew he couldn’t break them.

“Alright fine, answer me this,” Louis breathed out. “How long will we be here and are there any shows?”

“We’ll be here for a week and I have a tv show I have to do, but it’s also like an outdoor concert.”

“So…?” Louis asked confused.

“So I’ll only be busy for one night, but every other night and day I’m yours,” Harry said, kissing the older lad’s temple quickly and pulling him into his side.

Louis smiled at that, humming happily before looking out the window and just seeing palm trees upon palm trees pass them by. He was happy that for their last week together they were going to be in one place, that they could have privacy and spend the time they had left together focused on them.

“Even though I don’t know where we’re going, I want to say thank you,” Louis whispered, smiling softly at the younger lad.

Harry grinned back, leaning in and kissing the older lad until Holden started groaning. But it was perfect timing because just as he released Louis the car stopped from under them and he saw where they were. “We’re here,” he said, nodding out the window.

Louis didn’t waste a second before twisting in his seat to see where they were, and as soon as he saw the sign his jaw dropped and eyes went wide. “Disney World!!!”

*~*

“Papa stop unpacking!! We need to go to Disney World!!” Holden said, tugging on his father’s arm.

“Buddy, buddy relax,” Harry laughed. “We have all week to explore Disney, let me just organize our stuff for a second.”

“But Harry,” Louis whined, tugging at the younger lad’s other hand and having much more success than Holden in tugging him towards the door.

Harry let out a playful groan, but let himself get pulled by the two anyway, actually having no problem in putting off unpacking and instead spending the rest of the day on rides. He already texted Ed and Niall to meet them at Epcot anyway so at least they were going to get there a little earlier than he initially planned.

“You feeling well enough to go on rides?” Harry asked quietly as they walked after Holden.

“M’fine,” Louis smiled at him. “I think I’m getting better at this whole travelling thing,” he said through an airy laugh.

Harry grinned back at him, tangling their fingers together and squeezing his hand gently.

Louis bit his lip as he looked down at his shoes, knowing very well that he hasn’t gotten any better at travelling, maybe worse. Trying to hide how often he gets sick from Harry is getting harder and harder, he’s just lucky it’s summer and abnormally hot out so his overheating and sweating episodes don’t seem too out of place. Louis thought that maybe it was the heat that was getting to him, that’s all.

“Babe could we uhm, can we stop and get some water?” Louis asked quietly as they walked out of the lift and into the hotel lobby.

“Sure,” Harry shrugged before looking down at the older lad, seeing him go a bit pale. “Lou you alright?”

“I said I’m fine, just need some water,” Louis said, getting more than tired of that question. “We were just on a plane for 10 hours, I need a drink.”

“Alright, alright,” Harry said, Louis having a bit of edge to his voice. “We’ll get you some water, it’s okay,” he said, rubbing his back to calm him down.

Harry made sure Louis got his water before they made their way to the park, meeting up with his bodyguards and then catching up with Niall and Ed to go on rides.

Holden was skipping all over place, walking one way one second and then running in the other direction the next, even Harry’s bodyguards were all over the place, trying to keep an eye on him.

It’s not like any of them blamed the 4 year old though, he was excited and if possible Niall and Louis were just as if not more excited. Just at being there Louis felt like a kid again, there were so many things he wanted to do, so many characters he wanted to meet, even if he knew they were just people in costumes.

“Holden you need to hold someone’s hand,” Harry said seriously. “I don’t care if it’s mine, or daddy’s, or Ed’s or Niall’s or even Paul’s, but you have to stop running around.”

“Papa,” Holden groaned, slumping his shoulders and pouting at his father.

“H I’m not kidding,” Harry said, letting go of Louis’ hand just so he could take the toddler’s. “There are a lot of people here and you know how people can get sometimes when they see us, and you running around won’t help.”

“Fine,” Holden huffed, knowing his papa gets worried when there are crowds around. “Can we go on a ride?”

“Of course buddy, there’s one right there, that look okay?”

“Yes!!” Holden shrieked, already running towards the ride with Paul and another bodyguard sprinting after him.

“Holden wait up! We can go in the same car!!” Niall said happily, following after the 4 year old.

Harry ran a hand over his face, if he had known Holden would be this much trouble he would’ve called for an army of bodyguards just for his son. “It’s gonna be a long week,” he said jokingly, glancing over at Louis.

But as soon as he saw the older lad he felt his face drop, immediately growing worried as Louis almost looked green and was clutching his stomach.

“Louis! Lou what’s wrong?”

“Stop, stop, I’m fine,” Louis choked out as he shook his head and looked around quickly for a bathroom. “Y-you go on the ride… I’m- I’m gonna go to the bathroom, but I’m fine.”

And before Harry could say anything he rushed towards the closest bathroom, trying his hardest to keep what was twisting in his stomach down until he got to a toilet.

They’ve been in Disney World for all of an hour and already this happening, Louis couldn’t stand it. Maybe he was worse at travelling than he thought, but then again the flight they were just on was longer than he was used to, Louis was sure that’s what was causing this. It was awful though, his head buried in a toilet at Disney World while he could be going on rides and enjoying the sunshine, instead he’s stuck in an over decorated Mickey Mouse bathroom, how much worse could it get?

“Louis!! Lou where are you?!”

Right, that’s how it can get worse.

Louis let out a deep breath, wiping his mouth and slowly getting up from the floor before opening the bathroom stall and seeing only Harry standing in the bathroom. “Hey, I’m uh, I’m fine, it’s okay.”

Harry looked at his boyfriend wide eyed, his mouth opening and closing, not understanding how Louis could possibly think he was fine. “Louis you’re not fine, you’re not okay!” he said, straining not to raise his voice. “You’ve been sick for a month and-”

“Harry it’s the travelling, I told you, warned you even I might get sick,” Louis said, wanting him to calm down. “C’mon, let’s not fuss over it, let’s have a good time. We’re in Disney World after all.”

Harry didn’t know what to say as he watched Louis walk out of the bathroom like absolutely nothing was wrong. He couldn’t help but think that the older lad was really sick and he was more than worried about him.

“Louis, love wait,” Harry said, catching up with him and grabbing his hand to stop him. “I’m not comfortable going another day without you seeing a doctor.”

“I’m fine,” Louis said firmly, pulling his hand out of Harry’s grip and walking towards the ride Holden was on with Niall and Ed. “I won’t go on any rides and I promise to tell you if I feel sick again, but I’m not going to a doctor, it’s a waste of time.”

Harry almost wanted to yell with how frustrated he was, but they were in the middle of Disney, people already crowding around them as they recognized him and Louis also looked like he was a second away from screaming. So instead of saying anything or yelling he just nodded at the older lad, needing to trust him

“You better tell me if you’re not feeling well,” Harry muttered, following after Louis to meet Niall, Holden and Ed at the ride exit.

Louis hummed, offering the younger lad his most convincing smile. But now that he promised Harry he had to make sure to be extra careful around him. All he could do was hope that for the rest of the day, and for the rest of the time they were at Disney that Harry wouldn’t notice anything.

*~*

“Daddy come swimming!! Ed and Niall show me how to do flips!!” Holden said, tugging on his daddy’s hand.

“I will buddy, in a little bit, but I just ate and my tummy hurts a little.”

Holden groaned, his father saying that his tummy has been hurting because he just ate over and over again. But he didn’t want to make his daddy more sick so he just nodded and was about to ask his papa to come swimming but instead bothered not to, seeing as he was snoring in his chair. So instead he ran back towards the pool, making a big splash and making sure to get Niall extra wet

Louis couldn’t help the smile that came to him as he watched his son splashing around. All summer it seemed that Holden was having the time of his life, constantly smiling and laughing, and it was everything Louis hoped this summer would be for him.

Granted he wished he himself felt better, but he was having an amazing time nonetheless. He had about 5lbs of extra weight to prove how much of an amazing time he was having. Louis swears all the food he’s been eating is making him fat, but he can’t stop, Harry just keeps spoiling him with amazing places to go to dinner, and huge breakfasts and even bigger lunches. He thought with how much they walked around daily whether it was a foreign city, or this huge amusement park that he wouldn’t be gaining weight this quickly.

“How you feeling love?” Harry asked groggily, reaching a hand over and rubbing the older lad’s stomach.

“M’good,” Louis said, offering him a small smile. “Would be better if you stopped worrying about me.”

“Well I would stop worrying if you would see a doctor,” Harry muttered with raised eyebrows.

Louis looked over at his boyfriend for a second, locking their eyes together before shaking his head and letting out a huff. “We only have a couple days left together before you go back on tour, you better start being nicer to me.”

“Lou it’s not… I love you, alright? I want to make sure you’re really okay and not just saying that you are.”

“And I love you,” Louis said, placing his hand on top of the younger lad’s that was resting on his stomach. “And that’s why you have to believe me when I say I’m okay… I wouldn’t lie to you if something was really wrong.”

Harry let out a quiet breath as he saw how serious Louis was and nodded, knowing he was telling the truth. “You’ve been having fun though right? My popstar lifestyle hasn’t bored you too much?” he asked jokingly.

“God no,” Louis laughed as he shook his head and squeezed Harry’s hand. “H this has been the most amazing summer both Holden and I have ever had… This past week alone has been incredible,” he said through a soft smile. “You guys have gone on every ride at least three times, I’ve met all the Disney characters my little heart can desire and Holden can’t wipe the smile off his face… It’s been perfect.”

Harry grinned back at the older lad, not even able to think of how happy he’s been with Louis and Holden travelling with him. And the fact that they were having such a good time as well made him if possible that much happier. Bringing the two of them to all these countries and showing them his favorite places was more than anything he could dream of for this past summer.

And for their last couple days he made sure to keep it perfect. He and Holden rode if possible even more rides, watched firework shows and had breakfast with all the Disney characters. And when it came time for Harry to record his show for the tv program Holden was right at his side, performing with his papa like he has been at all the concerts. This was just like a concert after all, but it was just being recorded and put on tv for everyone to see. All Harry could think while he was on stage though was how now everyone can see how cute his little boy is. It was their last night together before Louis, Holden and Niall went back to England, and Harry wanted to make it special, memorable for the two of them.

Harry knew Holden was having a great time prancing around on stage, singing and dancing like the little popstar he is. And when he glanced off to the side of the stage there was Louis, smiling widely as he watched them, and Harry wished he could keep it like this. He wished the two could stay with him until the end of the tour, but that’s not how it works.

Louis has to go back to teaching, and Holden is going into his first year of school, they need to go back home. And it was obvious that was the last thing any of them wanted, but it had to be done. They had to say goodbye.

*~*

“Lou!! H!! How’re you guys?! How was the flight?!”

“Daddy got sick,” Holden muttered as he shuffled into his uncle Zayn’s flat, a small smile coming to him as he saw Addi and Rob rushing towards him.

“Still?” Zayn asked quietly with raised eyebrows.

“Yeah…” Louis breathed out, it being well over a month and a half that he’s been getting sick and sweating through his clothes. “Did you uh, did you pick up that thing I asked you to?” he whispered.

Zayn nodded quickly, stepping aside so the older lad could fully step into his flat. “You okay? You and Holden I mean, like with leaving Harry?”

“Goodbyes are always hard,” Louis said as he bit his lip and glanced over at Holden playing with Addi on the floor. “But we’ll make it through, we always do,” he said, offering his best mate his most convincing smile.

Zayn nodded as he let out a quiet breath and reached into the grocery bag for what Louis was asking for. “But I’m guessing he has no clue you wanted this…”

Louis shook his head and quickly took the small box from Zayn. “I’ll tell him if there’s something to tell,” he muttered.

“Good,” Zayn nodded. “If that thing is negative I’m taking you to a doctor though,” he said seriously.

Louis breathed out an “okay”, knowing if it was negative then there must really be something wrong with him. But the thought of it being positive… Well that scared him a bit too.

“If you want you can take it right now,” Zayn offered quietly. “I can watch H and be here for you…”

And again Louis just let out a few deep breaths, trying to calm his racing heart before nodding at his best mate. “I’ll only be a few minutes.”

He could see Zayn smiling at him encouragingly and it took everything Louis had in him to shuffle down the hall and to the bathroom. He couldn’t believe he was doing this, that for a second time since he and Harry started dating he had to take a test.

But for some reason this felt different than the last time. He wasn’t shaking he was so nervous, he wasn’t over thinking the “what if’s” or if Harry wanted this.

Louis was relatively calm… He took the test with his heart beating in his ears and his hands clammy, but at least he took the test.

And even if he was staring at the thing wide eyed as he waited for the results, his knees pulled into his chest and back pressed up against the tub, he was calm. Or at least it was Louis’ version of calm.

3 minutes may have felt like 3 days, but when the time was up Louis found he actually had the courage to look at the little plastic stick, the results clear as day. And just at the sight he had to put a hand over his mouth, his air coming short and heart stopping… He had to call Harry.

All I Want Playlist

[Let Me Love You](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_eTytNgcYOk) [Ne-Yo-Glee Version](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_eTytNgcYOk) 3:38

[Leave Your Lover](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M8pK3KBwC84) [Sam Smith](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M8pK3KBwC84) 3:26

[The Otherside](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l4Lt4zlCb-M) [Taylor Ward](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l4Lt4zlCb-M) 2:58

[Give Your Heart A Break](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XKiUcTvr-TQ) [Glee Version](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XKiUcTvr-TQ) 3:29

[Friends](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Myaod6GC4U) [Ed Sheeran](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Myaod6GC4U) 3:09

[Make You Feel My Love](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jNBmoj32pq4) [Adele](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jNBmoj32pq4) 3:15

[Tonight](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k-6WAexAPP4) [John Legend Ft. Ludacris](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k-6WAexAPP4) 3:57

[Sometime Around Midnight](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m53cWa-CdUg) [The Airborne Toxic Event](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m53cWa-CdUg) 5:03

[Kiss Me](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MXL8BEPl-Nw) [Ed Sheeran](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MXL8BEPl-Nw) 4:35

[Infinity](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QaY1ezWUhi0) [One Direction- Slow Mode](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QaY1ezWUhi0%20) 5:24

[I’m Gonna Find Another You](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2EZWzq6kXVc) [John Mayer](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2EZWzq6kXVc) 2:43

[Comfortable](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BroiKmNGbfI) [John Mayer](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BroiKmNGbfI) 5:02

[Where Do Broken Heart Go](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6QpPMbzVqic) [One Direction](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6QpPMbzVqic) 3:45

[No Good in Goodbye](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZRNTOabGsDk) [The Script](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZRNTOabGsDk) 3:58

[More Time](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cnGFGkP5Enw) [Needtobreath](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cnGFGkP5Enw) 4:22

Shattered O.A.R 3:57

I’m A Mess Ed Sheeran 4:08

[I Almost Do](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ij1xADeobsg) [Taylor Swift](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ij1xADeobsg) 3:59

[Just A Little Bit Of Your Heart](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F0-50nRyuy8) [Ariana Grande](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F0-50nRyuy8) 3:57

[Don’t Let Me Go](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bEBzek5Hi_s%20) [Harry Styles](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bEBzek5Hi_s) 3:50

[The One](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HJ6PfUZyPGY) Kodaline 4:01

[All I Want](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cqJoVlnmdFQ) [Kodaline](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cqJoVlnmdFQ%20) 4:57

[The One](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K75A16HRdBY) [Sam Smith](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K75A16HRdBY) 3:08

[Make It To Me](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nwxaK3IUlag) [Sam Smith](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nwxaK3IUlag) 3:09

[Lay Me Down](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hQNNm0acHE4) [Sam Smith](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hQNNm0acHE4) 4:01

[I Was Made for Loving You](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XkZaZWsGAg4%20) [Tory Kelly ft. Ed Sheeran](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XkZaZWsGAg4) 3:07

[Faithfully](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ALph_u2iee8) [Boyce Avenue Cover](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ALph_u2iee8) 4:49

[Auld Lang Syne](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ibTYf0PZZtI) [Lea Michele](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ibTYf0PZZtI) 3:29

[This is the New Year](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7VS_zF87YGo) [A Great Big World](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7VS_zF87YGo) 3:17

[Hold On Forever](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JESuKSbqkIc) [Rob Thomas](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JESuKSbqkIc) 3:35

[One Call Away](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sBUMSCebKPs) [Charlie Puth](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sBUMSCebKPs) 3:28

[Lost](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z49ZqFDxGAk) [Michael Buble](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z49ZqFDxGAk%E2%80%9D%20title=) 3:39

[Home](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VASbtWejos0) [Michael Buble](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VASbtWejos0) 4:04

[Code by Layouttesst](http://layouttesst.livejournal.com/profile)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know there's a lot going on this chapter, but I hope you all find it enjoyable :) Leave comments, share opinions, thanks !!


	16. Chapter 16

“Daddy are we here to see uncle Liam?” Holden asked, looking around the hospital and kicking his legs back and forth, trying to entertain himself.

“We are,” Louis said, smiling down at the 4 year old and running his fingers through the back of his hair. “Uncle Liam is just gonna give me a little test and then we can head back home and go for our walk.”

Holden hummed happily, but as soon as he saw his uncle coming down the hall he jumped right of his chair and ran towards him.

“Hey buddy,” Liam said, scooping Holden up and giving him a sloppy kiss on his cheek. “Lou you can come back now,” he said, offering the older lad a soft grin.

Louis let out a deep breath as he nodded and pushed himself out of his chair, following Liam through the hospital halls as Holden talked the younger lad’s ear off. Being here Louis was excited to stay the least, he was going to find out if he and Harry were going to have a baby for God’s sake. There was no denying he was nervous, but excited nonetheless.

“How’ve you been feeling mate?” Liam asked quietly as he bit his lip.

Louis let out a small laugh as he shook his head and shoved his hands in his pockets. “I thought it was the travelling… I seriously thought it was because of all of the plane rides and time differences and… And I told him not to worry.”

Liam looked over at the older lad confused as he opened an exam room for him and placed Holden down. “You didn’t think there was anything to be worried about, it’s okay.”

“No, it’s not okay,” Louis said quietly as he took a seat on the exam table.

“Well you wanted to keep him calm and have a good time on your trip,” Liam said, not wanting the older lad to freak out over this. “When you tell him the news I’m sure he’ll understand, and be more than happy and relieved something isn’t really wrong.”

Louis bit his lip and nodded as he looked to his hands folded in his lap. “I don’t even know how I’m gonna tell him,” he said, a small smile creeping onto his lips. “I mean he’s somewhere in South America right now, I can’t just call him, can I? Should we videochat or should I do something really special for him? Like a surprise? Or maybe I could-”

“Daddy are you sick?”

“He’s not sick big guy, we’re just gonna do a quick test to clear up a few questions,” Liam said, getting everything he needed together.

Holden looked over to his father to make sure his uncle was telling the truth, and when his daddy smiled at him he knew he really was okay. “Well be careful uncle Liam, daddy don’t like needles.”

“I’ll be fine H,” Louis said, rolling his eyes fondly as Liam situated himself in front of him and reached for his arm. “How long will this whole draining important fluid out of my body take?”

“Just a minute or two, relax,” Liam said through a chuckle as he made sure everything was situated before patting the older lad’s leg. “You excited?” he asked, offering his best mate a small smile.

Louis tried to hold back his smile as he shrugged slightly and felt his cheeks heating up. “Is it wrong of me to yes?” he asked sheepishly. “I mean this is crazy right…?”

“If you’re happy then it’s a good kinda crazy,” Liam said, sending a wink towards Louis. “Make sure you get enough bedrooms when looking for your new house,” he muttered teasingly.

“Uncle Liam are you gonna move with us?!” Holden asked excitedly.

“No buddy,” Liam laughed. “But you might have a different little house guest,” he said under his breath.

“Liam,” Louis warned, not wanting to tell Holden anything until he knew for sure.

Liam put his hands up in defeat, holding back his laughter as he got the blood sample from Louis and put a bandaid on him. “I’ll be back in a few minutes with some news,” he said, giving his best mate’s shoulder a gentle squeeze before heading out of the room.

Louis let out a deep breath, rubbing his hands over his face and trying to get a hold of reality, that he and Harry could really be having a baby.

“Are you sure you not sick daddy?” Holden asked with furrowed eyebrows. “Well maybe you not sick, you too happy to be sick.”

“I’m not sick,” Louis confirmed, offering his son a soft smile. “Good things are happening, it’s okay.”

“Only if you sure,” Holden breathed out, walking over towards his father and climbing on the table to sit with him.

Louis hummed, pulling the 4 year old into his side and kissing head to reassure him. He had to wrap his head around what was happening. That in just a few minutes Liam was going to come back with life changing news, that him and Harry could be having a baby, that Holden was going to be an older sibling. It was great and exciting, and the only thing Louis was worried about was how to tell Harry.

He wasn’t able to last time, but now he could. Louis had to figure how to tell him since he wasn’t actually home and couldn’t in person, and he wasn’t going to wait until he was home to tell him, that would be nearly 3 months from now. There was no denying that it was hard to hear that Harry couldn’t home, not even for a week while he was touring through South America and the US but they did 3 months apart before, they can do it again. But Louis had to make this special for Harry, he wasn’t there last time, he couldn’t experience this and more than anything Louis wanted him to this time around.

“Alright Lou, you ready?” Liam asked, coming back into the room with a manilla envelope in his hand.

“As ready as I’ll ever be,” Louis breathed out through a smile, pulling Holden just a bit closer to him.

Liam nodded, grinning back at the older lad before passing him the envelope, already having read it in the hall. He watched as Louis opened it, pulling the papers out and immediately lighting up at reading the words at the top.

“Congratulations mate,” Liam said softly, rubbing his best mate’s back and feeling his own smile grow just at seeing Louis so happy.

Louis bit his lip, trying to hold back his widening grin at the bold printed words at the top of the page. He didn’t know what to say, even though Louis knew there was a very high chance that he was expecting it was unbelievable to actually have it confirmed.

“Mate,” Louis whispered, tugging on the younger lad’s lab coat. “Do I tell Holden now? Do I wait to tell him and Harry at the same time? Do you think he’ll understand? I mean, what do I even say to him? He’s 4 after all, maybe-”

“Louis,” Liam laughed, shaking his head and backing away from him. “I don’t want to tell you what to do. But ask yourself, if Harry were home would you tell them together?”

Louis glanced down at his son, knowing for a fact he would tell them together. And he decided that’s what he was going to do. Now it was just a matter of how he was going to break the news.

*~*

Louis let out a deep breath as he situated his laptop so the camera was looking right at him. He fixed his hair and made sure he looked his absolute best before making sure everything was in it’s place and ready to go.

“Holden! C’mon buddy, it’s time to call pop!” Louis yelled, hearing his son and Addi barreling down the stairs a second later.

“Daddy how come this call so special?” Holden asked, noticing how his father was acting more odd than normal.

“Every call with papa is special,” Louis said through a soft smile, making sure they were both seen on the screen. “Alright, we ready?”

Holden looked at his daddy with furrowed eyebrows, it almost seeming like he was asking himself that, but he nodded at his father anyway.

Harry knew they would be calling now so Louis figured as soon as he started calling the younger lad would pick up. And when he pressed the call button Louis couldn’t help but try to fix his hair again, really feeling his nerves kick in.

“Look at my boys,” Harry said, smiling at the two.  “How are you two? How’s the first couple days been?”

“Eventful,” Louis said, trying his hardest not to just scream the news. “How about you? How’s Sao Paulo?”

“Beautiful, really Lou, you would love it,” Harry said softly, glancing out his hotel window. “I’ll bring you guys here sometime, maybe in the winter so that way when it’s freezing in England we can be on the beach,” he said happily.

Louis grinned back at him and nodded, thinking that by the time winter comes around he’ll already be a pretty decent size, he doesn’t think he’d look all that good in a swimsuit.

“I want to go back to the beach,” Holden mumbled, already missing the sand between his toes and jumping in the waves with his papa.

“And we will buddy, promise.”

Holden nodded at his papa, offering him a small smile as he leaned back against his daddy’s chest.

“So what was so eventful about this week?” Harry asked with raised eyebrows, noticing Louis couldn’t wipe the wide grin off his face. “Babe you alright? You seem… Different,” he said slowly.

“What? No, no, I’m not, I’m fine,” Louis said quickly, trying desperately to calm down.

“Yes you are,” Harry chuckled, now finding this more entertaining. “What’s goin on love?

Louis opened and closed his mouth, thinking that they would have more of a conversation before he came out with his news. But it was clear to anyone with eyes that he couldn’t contain what was inside him.

“I… I have to tell you something,” Louis said so quietly he wasn’t sure if Harry heard him.

Harry’s face almost immediately fell as he saw how serious Louis was, how nervous he looked. “Louis what’s wrong?”

Louis could see the terrified look on the younger lad’s face, wanting him to calm down, this being a good thing, but his nerves were really starting to kick in. “No, nothing’s wrong, it’s okay,” he said through a soft smile. “I went to the doctors yesterday cause you know I kept getting sick… And, well, I was given some uhm… Some pretty great news.”

“Great news… About you getting sick?” Harry asked slowly. “Louis that’s not like… A thing.”

“It is, I can promise you that it is,” Louis said, his smile only growing as he realized how close he was to telling him.

Harry raised his eyebrows, his mouth opening and closing, having no clue what the older lad could be talking about. “You sure you’re okay?”

Louis nodded as he bit his lip, trying his absolute hardest to calm down and actually get on with his news. “I’m better than okay,” he said quietly, letting out a deep breath and preparing himself for what he was about to tell his boyfriend. “You have your phone with you right?”

“Uhm, yeah, it’s right next to me. Why?” Harry asked confused.

“Because I’m about to send you something, and it’s… Well it’s important.”

“Sure,” Harry said softly as he nodded at the older lad, growing more nervous that something could really be wrong.

Louis let out a deep breath, gathering his courage to pull out his phone and actually send the picture to Harry. Not only that but he had to text Ed and Clara to be ready, and the fact that all of this was happening was crazy to him, that he was really telling the younger lad they were going to have a baby.

But he pressed send anyway and right after he pushed the button he picked his head up, watching Harry for a reaction or just anything. And each second that passed Louis grew more and more nervous, his heart nearly pounding out of his chest as he watched the younger lad pick up his phone and open the message.

“Is this gonna be like test results or something the doctor gave-...” Harry stopped himself, his entire body going still and jaw going slack at the picture he saw on his phone.

It wasn’t test results or a notice the doctor gave Louis. Instead it was a picture of Holden. The 4 year old in his little spiderman costume, hands on his hips and wearing a smile so wide it could be seen from miles around. But it was beside Holden that caught Harry’s eye.

There was a chalkboard with brightly written words on it, and at the sight of what it said Harry felt his throat close and eyes water. **[Every Superhero Needs a Sidekick](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/df/11/9d/df119d6cb85d3ca816f62d113863ace7.jpg)**  it read and Harry could only have so many guesses as to what that meant, as to what Louis was trying to tell him.

“Love,” Louis said softly, a wide smile coming over him just at Harry’s face, and when the younger lad picked his head up to look at him he could only grin more.

But he had one more thing to show Harry, something that would actually confirm the green eyed lad’s suspicion. Louis was grateful everything was actually falling into place, that a second later he saw the two come into the room and he nodded at them, silently telling Harry to turn around.

And it was almost impossible for Louis to stop his laughter as he saw Harry go wide eyed at seeing Clara and Ed in his room, the two smiling widely at him and passing him a small wrapped box.

Harry looked at Clara before focusing on the box she was passing him, taking it slowly with shaking hands, growing more and more nervous at what could be inside. And when he turned back to the camera Louis was just watching him, Holden looking beyond confused and Harry’s heart was racing so fast he could barely breathe.

“Babe you need to actually open it,” Louis laughed quietly, the younger lad just staring at the box, looking almost too scared to open it.

Harry opened and closed his mouth, his hands still shaking and heart still pounding but he nodded anyway as he carefully pulled off the top of the box. And Harry couldn’t help it, couldn’t help but drop the top of the box and let a few tears slip as a wide smile came over him.

He wasn’t sure if he would even be able to pick up the tiny onesie that was in the box, if his hands would stop trembling enough where he could read what was on the little clothing. But he could read it, even through his glassy eyes he could see the playfully written **Daddy is due with baby #2** on it.

“Louis…” he said through a hiccuped breath, looking at the computer and only smiling more as he watching the older lad wipe away his own stray tears.

But then Harry’s eye caught Holden, the 4 year old having no clue as to why both his dads were crying and acting so weird. “Holden do you- do you know what this means?” he asked, clutching the little onesie in his hands, his heart still pounding but not out of nervousness, instead out of excitement and pure adrenaline. “We… A baby, we’re- we’re having a baby,” Harry barely managed out, shaking his head and pulling the onesie into his chest as his tears began falling faster and faster.

Louis let out a wet laugh as he saw the younger lad still trying to grasp the news and when Holden looked at him wide eyed all he could do was nod and wipe away his fallen tears. “Yeah love, we’re having a baby,” he said softly.

Harry shook his head in disbelief, his choked laugh escaping as it really hit him. Him and Louis are going to have a baby and he’s going to be here for their little one from the very beginning. And Holden is going to have a sibling, and all of this is too good to be true, Harry couldn’t believe it. The only thing that reminded him that it was real, that a baby was really coming was the onesie he had in his hands.

“A baby?” Holden asked quietly. “Like a little person?! A baby?!” he nearly screamed, twisting around in his father’s lap and looking at him wide eyed.

Louis nodded, chuckling as he saw his son freaking out, and when he heard Holden squeal again he knew he was really excited. If anything Louis was surprised how quickly the 4 year old gathered everything, that he actually understood.

“Well when it gonna come?! Where is it?!” Holden asked, looking all around the room and making loud laughs escape his daddies.

“Yeah Lou? When’re ya due?” Ed asked through a wide smile, crouching down so he could fully be seen by the camera.

Louis bit his lip as he looked sheepishly back at the three of them. “I actually don’t know,” he said, scratching the back of his neck. “I have an appointment next week, right after I drop H off at school,” Louis said, looking down at the 4 year old, still in denial that he was starting school.

Harry looked between the two of them, rubbing a hand over his face and letting out a deep breath, hating that he couldn’t be there for Louis and Holden. But he was still so happy, just at the thought of having a little baby around he was smiling so wide he must’ve looked like a crazy person.

“I’m… My God I’m so happy,” Harry breathed out. “Holy shit, is it possible to be this happy? A baby, a little baby…”

“A little baby,” Louis nodded, smiling back at the younger lad.

Harry bit his lip, knowing that if he said anything else he would just scream that they were having a baby at the top of his lungs. He wanted to tell everyone, to run around the streets and yell that he and Louis were really having a baby. Of course Harry knew he couldn’t, not yet. But when the time came to tell everyone Harry was sure he would just scream and jump around.

“Where is it?” Holden groaned, wanting the baby here now.

“Buddy we won’t get the baby for a couple months, we have to be patient,” Louis said, muffling a laugh into his son’s hair.

“Well it a boy or girl? And now I a big brother like Nate at daycare and I bring baby to school with me,” Holden said, nodding to himself.

“Uhm that’s not how that works Holden,” Ed chuckled, earning a scowl from the 4 year old.

“And we don’t know if it’s a boy or girl, we’ll have to wait for that too,” Louis said, glancing to Harry and saw he was still internally freaking out about the news.

Already Louis couldn’t wait to pick out names, to plan the nursery and go shopping, and he especially couldn’t wait to do those things with Harry. Just thinking about the younger lad being here for all of these little moments Louis couldn’t contain himself, and at the sight of Harry he seemed to be having just as hard of a time.

“Congrats guys, I’m really happy for you,” Clara said, coming onto the screen and smiling brightly between the two beaming men. “But Harry I’m sorry, I really am, we have to get going,” she whispered to the younger lad.

Harry let out a small breath and nodded at her before turning back to Louis and Holden and offering them a small grin.

“It’s okay love, I know you’re busy,” Louis said, smiling back at him. “I’m happy I could at least catch you for a few minutes to tell you.”

“And don’t think we’re done talking about this,” Harry said, noticing Clara already gathering all of his things. “I have my phone on me and I’ll text you after the interview and call you before the show.”

Louis nodded at him and before he could say anything else Holden started screaming his goodbyes. So he waved to the younger lad, earning a soft “goodbye” and mouthed “I love you” before Louis watched Harry pick up the onesie, it seeming like he wasn’t letting it go anytime soon and seeing the screen go black.

*~*

“Daddy,” Holden groaned, his father squeezing his hand so tightly he was sure it was going to fall off.

“What?” Louis asked, looking down to the 4 year old before looking all around the school halls, trying to make sure they were going the right way.

“You’re freaking out,” Holden muttered, trying to free his hand but his daddy only held on tighter.

“I am not,” Louis said in a matter of fact tone. “I am perfectly fine and calm, everything’s okay, alright? I am not freaking out, and you’re going to have a great day at school and-”

“Daddy,” Holden said stopping him, squeezing his father’s hand gently and smiling up at him. “It’s okay. It’s kinda like daycare.”

Louis looked down at his son, having no clue why he wasn’t nervous or freaking out about his first day at school. But if the 4 year old can be calm so could he. “You’re right buddy… It’s just like daycare,” Louis said softly, grinning back down at his son and loosening his grip on Holden’s hand just a bit.

He had to remind himself of that, that it was just like any other day, like he was just dropping his son off at daycare. And Louis had to forget how big and old Holden was getting, that he was growing up. He thought maybe that was his problem with sending Holden off to school, the reminder that his baby boy wasn’t really a baby anymore.

“Alright, we ready?” he asked, stopping in front of Holden’s classroom door.

“Ready,” Holden said happily, already stepping into the room and tugging his daddy along with him.

Louis let out a deep breath as they walked into the room, other nervous looking parents and excited kids filled the room, and he was at least grateful he wasn’t the only one. “Okay, you’re lunch is in your bag and I made sure you have enough pencils and even put a picture of you, Rob, Addi, me and papa in your notebook in case you miss us,” he said through a quiet laugh, kneeling down to his son’s height and making sure his uniform was straight.

“Thank you daddy,” Holden said softly, wrapping his arms around his father’s neck and pulling him close.

Louis felt a small smile come to him as he hugged Holden back and kissed his head. He knew if he didn’t let go now he never would, so he gave his son one more squeeze and kiss before standing up and letting out a deep breath.

“Alright big guy, have a great day, I’ll pick you up after school and later tonight we can call papa and talk all about your day.”

“Okay,” Holden said, smiling back at his daddy. “I love you, have a good day.”

Louis rolled his eyes fondly before pulling out his phone, taking just one more picture of Holden before kissing him one last time. “Love you too. Be nice, make friends, color me a picture.”

Holden nodded at his daddy and backed away from him, waving to him and sending him one more wide smile before heading off towards the cubbies to put his backpack down.

Louis watched the 4 year old get comfortable in the room, already looking situated as he took a seat at a little table and started socializing with the other kids. He couldn’t stand there for too long though, he had to get to his doctor’s appointment and he didn’t want to embarrass his son too much by being that overprotective dad that cares too much. So Louis waved and smiled at Holden before finally making his way out of the room and pulling out his phone to text Harry all of the pictures he took of Holden this morning. But he couldn’t even make it all the way down the hall before hearing someone scream his name.

“Louis!!!”

He snapped his head up, his eyes going wide and jaw dropping as he saw a very sweaty and breathless curly haired man sprinting towards him. “... Harry?”

Harry didn’t stop running until he crashed into Louis, immediately wrapping his arms around him and kissing him all over his face. “Look at you! My God, you look so good,” he said, crashing his lips onto the older lad’s, so relieved to finally be able to hold him, to be with him after he found out about the baby.

“Harry what are you doing here?! I thought you-”

“I had to be here,” Harry said like that was a stupid question. “Holden’s first day of school and you have the doctors appointment, there’s no way I could miss any of this.”

Louis opened and closed his mouth, letting out a quiet laugh before he shook his head, stood on his toes and pressed his lips to the younger lad’s. “I love you, you know that?”

Harry hummed against him, pecking Louis’ lips a few more times before releasing him and just looking at the older lad. “We’re having a baby,” he said just loud enough for Louis to hear him, resting his forehead against the blue eyed lad’s.

“Yeah we are,” Louis said, still not believing they were having a baby, that Harry actually flew home just for Holden’s first day and his doctor’s appointment. “But before we talk about the baby why don’t you pop in and say hi to our firstborn,” he said jokingly.

Harry’s eyes lit up, immediately smiling and turning right around to head to Holden’s classroom. He didn’t know if they started class yet but he raced from the airport, sprinted from the parking lot and nearly tripped 10 times just so he could see his son off at his first day of school. And when Harry walked into the room he was grateful to see that they hadn’t started but were just getting into their seats.

“Excuse me, I’m sorry,” Harry said sheepishly, fully walking into the room. “I’m looking for Holden Tomlinson. Hair and eyes like mine, very handsome, extremely funny and is a pretty good singer,” he said, his eyes immediately catching the 4 year old’s and smiling widely at him.

“Papa?” Holden asked quietly, a grin immediately making it’s way to his face as he got up from his seat and rushed towards his father. “What you doing home?!”

“Well I had to see my big guy off at school, now didn’t I?” Harry chuckled, scooping the 4 year old up and kissing him all over his face. “Look at you in your little uniform. Too cute.”

“Stop,” Holden groaned, knowing his class was watching him. “How long you gonna be home for?”

Harry let out a quiet breath, the fact that he was here at all was a miracle. “I’m leaving right after daddy has his doctor’s appointment,” he said quietly. “I’m sorry I can’t be here longer.”

“It’s okay, I know you busy,” Holden breathed out. “Thank you for coming home for a little bit,” he said, giving his papa another hug.

“Of course buddy,” Harry whispered, nuzzling his nose into his son’s hair. “I hope you have an amazing day and I can’t wait to hear all about it. I’ll be sure to call as soon as my plane lands okay?”

“Okay,” Holden said, smiling back at his papa. “I love you.”

“Love you too,” Harry said, kissing Holden’s head and giving him one more squeeze. “I’ll talk to you later.”

Holden nodded and smiled even wider at his father before giving him one more kiss and wiggling out of his arms. But he couldn’t get too far without his daddy stopping him, needing to take a picture of him and his papa before finally telling him he could go back to his seat and letting the class continue. And even if his teacher started talking Holden watched as his daddies walked out of the room, smiling at them and waving slightly before mouthing “bye” one last time.

“So, baby time?” Harry asked once they were in the hallway, sliding his hand into Louis’ and tangling their fingers together.

“Baby time,” Louis confirmed through a quiet laugh. “I’m still in shock you’re here… I mean, you didn’t have to come, you-”

“Of course I had to come,” Harry said, looking at the older lad wide eyed. “Louis this is important, no this is more than important to me. We’re having a baby and I’m gonna be here for you and our little one as much as possible. Even while I’m away I’m gonna try to be here.”

Louis looked right back at Harry, having no clue how he got so lucky. His boyfriend flew in from the other side of the world just for a doctor’s appointment and to drop their son off at school. He couldn’t say how grateful he was to Harry, or tell him how much he loved him because words couldn’t describe how he was feeling. Louis wasn’t in this alone, and he never thought he was, but Harry made damn sure that he knew he wasn’t.

“I’ll follow you there alright?” Harry asked once they reached the parking lot, giving the older lad’s hand a gentle squeeze.

Louis nodded, smiling back at Harry, standing on his toes and kissing him quickly before heading off towards his car. It was only 8 in the morning and already it’s been a great day. His boyfriend was back home, granted it was just for a few hours, but it was a few hours Louis was more than grateful for. And he made sure to tell Harry at least a thousand times when they got to the doctor’s office and were in the waiting room. Louis was sure the younger lad was almost sick of hearing it but he didn’t care, he needed Harry to know just how much he appreciated him, loved him.

“Louis Tomlinson?”

Louis and Harry picked their heads up, the younger lad nearly shaking with how nervous he was. Louis on the other hand was all smiles as he bounded up from his seat and had a skip in his step as he walked towards the doctor.

“Babe this is Dr. Arnold, she delivered Holden,” Louis said introduced the two happily.

“Oh, wow, hi,” Harry said, grinning at her and shaking her hand politely. “It’s really great to meet you.”

“And you Mr. Styles, I’m a big fan of your music. And please, call me Heather,” she said, eyeing Louis, telling him to stop with all that doctor stuff a thousand times. “Not gonna lie when Liam called me and told me the news I was a bit surprised. Happy, but surprised,” Heather said, leading the two into an examining room.

“Li and Heather went to med school together, and she’s friends with him and Soph,” Louis informed Harry, earning a nod from him. “And why surprised? Are you afraid another one of my spawn will be roaming the earth?” he joked.

“Oh stop that,” Heather laughed, watching Louis immediately head for examining table and getting a chair for Harry to sit in. “And I was a little surprised cause I know your guys’ whole story,” she said quietly, glancing between the two, Liam having told her everything. “I’m really happy you could make it work out.”

Harry looked over at Louis, offering him a small smile as he reached for his hand and squeezed it gently. And the way the older lad was grinning back at him Harry knew he was thinking the same thing.

“So uhm, how does- how does this work?” Harry asked, just a bit confused as he watched Heather setting everything up.

“Well today we’re just going to check on the baby and Louis, see how far along he is and we can make an estimate as to when he’ll be due,” Heather said, smiling at the curly haired lad. “If we’re lucky we’ll even be able to find your little one and you can go home with a picture.”

At that Harry lit up, the idea of having a picture of their little baby nearly making his heart burst out of his chest.

“Love, easy,” Louis chuckled, feeling Harry squeeze his hand tightly.

“Sorry, m’nervous,” Harry said sheepishly, loosening his grip. “So when do we know if it’s a boy or girl? And how big is the baby? Like the size of a pea or maybe a lima bean? And when will he start getting hormonal? I mean I would really like to be home for when  his hormones start raging and he’ll need me for certain things, and my tour doesn’t end for another-”

“Harry, H,” Louis said, stopping the younger lad as he started freaking out about his own questions. “It’s okay,” he reassured him.

Heather laughed quietly at the curly haired lad before motioning for Louis to lift his shirt up. “Around 4 months we can find out the sex and right now I’d say you’re baby is a bit bigger than a pea.”

Harry smiled down at Louis, it being crazy to him that the little person they were bringing into the world was the size of a pea. The fact at all that Louis was carrying their child and his belly was getting just a bit bigger was amazing to him.

And Louis looked right back at his boyfriend, unable to hold back his own wide grin at seeing how excited Harry was for all of this. He was nearly bouncing in his seat, asking all these cute questions, and looking like a lost puppy as he watched Heather work on the ultrasound.

“I see it! I see it, right there!!” Harry said, pushing himself out of his seat, leaning over Louis and tapping the ultrasound screen.

Louis let out a loud laugh, pulling on Harry’s arm so he would sit back down. But even when the younger lad was settled in his seat again his smile didn’t fade.

“That’s it right?! That’s the baby, right there!” Harry said, pointing to the small black blob on the screen.

“Very nice Harry, it is,” Heather chuckled, the green eyed lad’s excitement buzzing through the room.  “And by the looks of it I would say Louis is just about 2 and a half months along.”

Harry nearly squealed at hearing that, bouncing up and down in his seat and kissing the older lad all over his face. “So what does this mean? Does the baby have like any tiny toes or little ears?” he asked excitedly.

Louis laughed into his hand, throwing his head back and trying to get over how adorable his boyfriend was acting.

“The baby is developing toes and fingers now, and other very small features,” Heather said, smiling over at Harry and printing a picture of the baby for them. “I’ll want to see you next month so we can check on the progress, alright?” she asked, raising her eyebrows at Louis.

“Of course,” Louis said, taking the tissues Heather was passing him to wipe his stomach before Harry took them, wiping off the jelly for him. “Thank you love,” he said through a quiet laugh.

Harry hummed through his smile, making sure Louis’ tiny baby bump was clean before pulling his shirt down and pecking his lips. All he wanted to do was tell the older lad how gorgeous he looked like this, how happy he was to be with him, to be here at the appointment and seeing their baby for the first time.

Harry made sure to get a second sonogram of the baby, wanting his own copy to take on the road with him. And he hated how fast time was going by, that the appointment was already over and that meant he had to hop on his jet and get back to touring. But at least he could be here for this, that he could come home for his son’s first day of school and Louis’ appointment.

“What’re you doin for the rest of the day love?” he asked, walking the older lad to his car and leaning against it.

“I have class at noon so before that I was gonna go to the store and pick up bigger pants. Mine are already getting a bit tight,” Louis chuckled, wrapping his arms around Harry’s waist.

“Really?” Harry asked, a spark in his eye as he placed a hand on the older lad’s stomach, noticing the tiniest bump. “If you uh, if you want I can push back my flight a little… Go shopping with you and maybe get an early lunch before you have to go to class?” he asked, biting his lip and looking at his boyfriend nervously.

“Are you asking me if I want to spend time with you?” Louis asked, what Harry said sounding almost ridiculous. “Of course we can do that, I’d love to spend some extra time with you before you jet off.”

“Great,” Harry said, smiling widely at the older lad. “Hop in the space car love, we’re going out on the town.”

Louis rolled his eyes fondly, Harry’s idea of going out on the town being buying pregnancy pants and getting brunch. But if it was more time he had to spend with his boyfriend Louis wasn’t going to complain, not in the slightest.

*~*

“Harry do you understand that if you keep pacing the camera won’t follow you?” Louis laughed into his hand, trying to keep his voice down.

“Louis I can’t stop pacing! I’m nervous, what do you want from me?!” Harry groaned, rubbing his hands over his face. “I haven’t even rehearsed yet and we’re recording in an hour and this song… This song is crazy why did I pick it? What’s wrong with me?”

“You like a challenge love, I think you’ll do great,” Louis said happily. “I can listen to you rehearse if that makes you feel better. I mean, you have to run it at least once.”

Harry let out a deep breath and nodded, trying to relax before he remembered something and finally stood in front of the camera so Louis could see him. “Where are you right now? I don’t even know what time it is in London.”

“I’m at work, it’s about 2pm,” Louis said glancing at his watch, knowing it was 9am Harry’s time in Lima.

“Where at work? That’s not your classroom,” Harry said, narrowing his eyes and trying to figure out where in the school the older lad was.

“I moved us to the auditorium today, we’re learning about stage presence and how to use space,” Louis said through a small smile, actually having hooked up his laptop to the huge projection screen so he could see the younger lad in ginormous form but also his voice was booming through the speakers so that was a plus. “But enough about me, you need to rehearse.”

Harry groaned but nodded anyway, walking closer to his laptop and pulling something up. “You have a piano in there right?” he asked, earning a nod from the older lad. “Alright, you play, I sing.”

Louis opened and closed his mouth, a second later seeing sheet music pop onto his computer screen sent from Harry. He knew Harry was in his hotel room without a piano, otherwise he would play, but Louis couldn’t say no, he wanted to help the younger lad. So he looked over the sheet music, nodding to himself as it wasn’t all that difficult before moving over to the piano, placing his laptop down and taking a seat on the bench.

“I’m surprised you picked this one love, it really-”

“I know,” Harry said, hating himself for committing to this. “I should’ve done Single Ladies, I can rock that shit.”

Louis let out a snort as he rolled his eyes, earning a glare from the younger lad. “Alright, single lady,” he teased.

“I can!” Harry said wide eyed. “I can do the dance, sing the song, you name it!!”

Louis raised his eyebrows, not believing Harry for a second and it was only a moment later the younger lad was both singing and dancing, and there was nothing Louis could do stop the loud laugh that escaped him.

“Stop! Stop, please!! I beg you, my God!!” he said, his boyfriend prancing around his hotel room, doing a more than terrible version of Single Ladies. “We need to rehearse this is serious, enough!”

“Told you I could do it,” Harry said through a tired breath, already exhausted from his 2 minute dance session. “But yeah, I need to run it, so whenever you’re ready,” he said, standing in front of his laptop and preparing himself.

Louis looked at the huge projection screen, smiling up as he saw Harry clear his throat and prepare himself. He wanted to do this more often, come into the theater and just chat with Harry while he was on the large screen. It felt like he was really in the room, like he was there with him. With how loud he was over the speakers and the way he took up room, Louis felt like his boyfriend was with him. But instead of focusing on that he looked at the sheet music the younger lad sent him, scanning over it one last time before placing his hands where they needed to go and starting the opening to the song. [(x)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P8GW6N3XYi8)

Louis glanced up to Harry, the younger lad shifting his weight on his feet and letting out a deep breath before he opened his mouth to sing. And he can’t remember the last time he and Harry played together, when it wasn’t just the green eyed lad playing for him, but the both them in complete sync.

Maybe it was years ago in uni when they last performed a duet. And Louis forgot how much he loved it. Harry was singing with everything he had in him, and together it sounded more than amazing, Louis knew tonight’s recording would go great. Listening to Harry was always special, but playing with him was something else and the further they got into the song the louder they got, the better it sounded.

Harry was smiling as he sang, Louis was nearly bouncing on the piano bench as he played and for a few minutes they felt like they weren’t worlds apart. Of course it couldn’t last forever though, Harry belting out the last note perfectly like he had the entire song and the two of them ending right on time with each other. And before Louis could even tell Harry how amazing he sounded he heard clapping and cheering echoing through the auditorium.

“Mr. Tomlinson what the hell was that?! And is that Harry Styles on the projector?!”

“Bryan! Language!!”  Louis scolded, turning around on the bench to see his entire class looking at him in shock. “And yes that is Mr. Styles on the projector, care to say hello?”

The kids didn’t waste a second before running towards their teacher’s laptop, crowding around him and screaming their hello’s to the curly haired lad.

“Whoa, okay, hi,” Harry said through an airy laugh, seeing his boyfriend’s entire class come onto his screen. “I see it’s time I let you go love.”

“Wait! No, talk to us!!”

“Clara he has things to do, we have class, c’mon everyone say goodbye,” Louis said, smiling back at the younger lad.

Harry couldn’t help the chuckle that escaped him as he heard them all groaning, but he kept his eyes on Louis, the older lad mouthing his “I love you’s” and the younger lad nodding back at him. And before he could hang up he heard Louis’ class scream their goodbye’s excitedly, making the blue eyed lad jump and roll his eyes. Maybe he should call Louis during class time more often.

*~*

“Love I can see you shaking,” Harry laughed, seeing Holden trying to keep his daddy still so he could sit on his lap.

“Well I’m nervous, can you blame me?” Louis breathed out, situating the 4 year old on his lap. “They should be on any second… Who tells them? Do you say it? Do we just blurt it out or do we build it up like-”

“Louis,” Harry said, raising his eyebrows and giving him that silent look, telling him to calm down. “I can tell them if you want, it’s all gonna be fine.”

Louis nodded, letting out a deep breath and actually calming down a bit as he felt Holden rubbing his back. The 4 year old has been his saving grace, always asking if he’s relaxed or if he needs anything to make him feel better, and almost every time Louis just requests a cuddle from his son and Holden is right there by his side.

“Oh, here they are!” Harry said happily, seeing his mum and sister get online.

“You two stay quiet, I gonna tell them!” Holden said, wanting to tell every person he ran into that he was going to be a big brother but his daddy and papa said they could only tell family for now.

“Fine, you can tell them but not right away,” Harry said, knowing Holden has been dying to tell someone about the baby. “We’re gonna talk for a bit and then you can tell them.”

Holden smiled widely as he heard that, nearly bouncing with how excited he was to break the news to his family about his new sibling.

“Oh! Look at all my boys!!”

“Hi mum,” Harry chuckled, waving to her, Robin, Gemma and Charlie who were all on the screen. “And everyone else, thanks for coming on to chat with us.”

Louis and Holden said their own hellos as everyone else had, unable hold back their smiles, just happy to finally be able to tell them. He talks to Anne nearly everyday and catches up with Gemma and Charlie over the phone once in awhile but the fact that they were actually telling them was beyond exciting and nerve wracking at the same time. The longer all of them chatted the more nervous he was getting, the more he wanted to scream the news, but small talk first.

“Louis we’re gonna have to take a trip down there, we miss our favorite little grandson.”

“Robin he’s your only grandson, and grandkid for that matter,” Gemma rolled her eyes teasingly and even through the computer screen she could see her stepfather eyeing her back playfully.

Harry could hear them all laughing through his computer speakers but his eyes immediately caught Louis’, seeing the older lad trying to bite back a nervous smile. “W-well uhm, Louis and I, we have some news… That’s why we wanted to get all of you together,” he said quietly, a soft smile coming over him.

“Are you okay? Is something wrong with one of you?” Anne asked worriedly. “Holden you’re okay, right sweetheart? Louis we can be at the house in just a few hours if you need-”

“Nana!” Holden groaned, now understanding where his papa gets all his rambling from. “Papa or daddy or me not sick!! Daddy is gonna have a baby! I gonna be a big brother!!” he said excitedly, throwing his arms in the air and smiling widely at the camera.

Louis held his breath as no one made a sound and just before he thought everyone went into complete shock Anne let out the loudest shriek he was sure she blew his speakers. And neither him or Harry could react before she was crying, opening and closing her mouth like she wanted to say something. But of course that wasn’t enough because then Gemma was screaming, making Charlie jump in his seat.

“Oh, my boys!!” Robin said, wrapping an arm around Anne to calm her down but couldn’t help but bounce excitedly in his seat. “This is great, no fantastic!!! And I know if Anne wasn’t crying she’d be saying the same thing! We’re so happy for you!!”

Anne was still trying to say something but couldn’t stop her crying, instead nodding along with what Robin was saying.

“Guys!!” Gemma screamed, unable to stop her wide grin. “Oh my God! When did you find out?! Lou how far along are you and Holden you must be so excited!! This is crazy!”

Louis laughed sheepishly, having a feeling they would be bombarded with questions, but he was more than happy to answer them. “Well uhm we went to the doctor last week and I’m just over 2 and a half months along, so it’s still kinda early.”

“Well have you gotten any fatter?”

“Charlie!!” Harry said wide eyed, making his sister laugh and Charlie look at him like he said nothing wrong.

“Charlie you don’t say something like that to some who is expecting!” Anne scolded, wiping her wet eyes and trying to calm down. “His hormones must be all over the place and- and-”

“Anne you’re hormones are probably raging more than mine right now,” Louis teased, earning a snicker from Harry. “And yes Charlie, I am getting fatter.”

“Well I’m excited sweetheart!!” Anne said, feeling her eyes swell with tears again. “My baby is having more babies and just…-” she cut herself off, another quiet cry escaping her as she hid her face in Robin’s neck.

“Nana you sad?” Holden asked quietly.

“Oh sweetheart no!” Anne said, quickly shaking her head. “I’m happy, I’m so so happy!”

Holden nodded understanding his nana was just crying happy tears. “Well I so so happy cause I gonna be a big brother!!” he said excitedly.

“We are too buddy, you have no idea!! Louis we’re coming down for a visit this weekend, no protests!” Robin said, wanting to properly celebrate.

“Us too!!” Gemma said, earning a happy nod from Charlie.

“What?” Harry whined. “I wanna see you guys all together, s’not fair!”

“Sucks to be famous,” Gemma teased.

Harry felt his jaw drop, and heard a loud giggle from Holden, but he really hated that he couldn’t be there with his family. Just two more months and he’ll be back home with them.

“Robin and I will go shopping for the baby, everything will be fine, we have it all under control!” Anne said, already having plans for a nursery, just picturing a tiny baby joining their family.

Louis was more than ready to protest, not wanting Anne to spend money on them but he saw Harry subtly shake his head, knowing there was no use in trying to stop her. And for the next hour they were talking Anne was going on and on about the baby, Robin jumping in excitedly. Gemma and Charlie couldn’t help but tease them a bit and Harry, Holden and Louis were more than okay just listening to the conversations going on around them.

They talked and talked until Holden had to go to bed, and it was only then Gemma, Charlie, Anne and Robin said their goodbyes and goodnights, promising to tell Louis when they’ll be coming over. And once everyone was logged off, leaving Harry and Louis left the two just looked at each other, both letting out quiet laughs and shaking their heads.

“You have no clue how much I love them,” Louis muttered through a soft smile.

Harry hummed, finding his family more ridiculous than anything. But he was so happy to finally tell them, even if he’s only known for a little bit the fact that he could share this with his family meant more than anything.

“Love,” he said softly. “Do you uhm… Do you want to call your mum? I’m sure she-”

“No,” Louis shook his head, not even needing or wanting to think about it. “I’m done with her. She doesn’t care about me, never has. I mean she’s never even had a conversation with Holden, there’s no point in telling her about another grandchild she’ll just ignore.”

Harry bit his lip but nodded anyway as he looked at the computer screen. “Whatever you want love…”

Louis nodded back at him, grateful the younger lad wouldn’t push him about talking to his mum. He didn’t want to think about her, instead he brought the baby back up and nearly begged Harry to give him some type of advice on how to handle his family for a weekend. But the only thing the younger lad could tell him was to let his mum do whatever she pleases and not try to stop her. And just at hearing that Louis knew it would be an interesting weekend.

*~*

“Louis!!”

Louis snapped his head up, offering Liam a small smile as he walked towards the table. But it wasn’t even a second later his smile immediately fell, seeing Sean sitting next to the younger lad and looking over a menu.

“Uhm hi,” he said slowly, looking between the two. “Li I thought it was just us meeting for lunch,” he said quiet enough so Sean wouldn’t hear him.

“We were heading out of the hospital at the same time, I didn’t think you’d mind if he tagged along,” Liam shrugged, picking up his menu and scanning down it.

Louis opened and closed his mouth, yes minding very much. “Yeah, sure, it’s fine,” he said through a quiet breath, offering Sean a small smile as he took a seat at the table. “How uhm, how are you guys? Work good?”

“Work has been great so far,” Liam said happily. “I’m still on call, but Sean finished his shift. He just did a surgery before we left and a very successful one at that,” he said, clapping his mate on the back and smiling proudly at him.

Louis looked over to Sean, seeing him roll his eyes, shake his head and smile sheepishly. He knew the older lad was being modest, that he didn’t want to boast, but Sean was a neurosurgeon for God’s sake, it was impressive.

“How are you Louis?” Sean asked, grinning softly at the blue eyed lad. “Liam told me about the baby, congratulations to you and Harry.”

“Thank you,” Louis said, smiling back at him, seeing as he really meant it. “And I’m doing really good. My pants don’t fit and everyday I eat twice my weight but I love it,” he chuckled, earning quiet laughs from the two.

“Still getting sick?” Liam asked quietly, glancing over his menu and to the older lad.

Louis hummed, that now just being part of his daily life, along with every food making his stomach twist into knots, but he didn’t care. He was carrying his and Harry’s baby and that made everything more than worth it.

“How is Harry? He enjoying tour?”

Louis looked over to Sean, smiling and nodding at him before looking back down to his menu, suddenly really wanting a hot sandwich that was coated in cheese and hoping the restaurant had something like that. “He’s been gone for almost a month and likes to remind me every second he can about how warm it is and how nice the beaches are in South America.”

“So you’ve talked to him?” Liam asked with raised eyebrows.

“Uhm… Yeah,” Louis said, that being a ridiculous question. “He usually calls once in the morning and then again after I pick Holden up from school.”

Louis saw Liam nodding and biting his lip, locking his gaze back on his menu. And Louis would recognize that face anywhere. It was the same one the younger lad had years ago whenever he was holding something back he wanted to say about Harry.

“What?” he breathed out, rubbing a hand over his face. “You want to say something, so say it.”

Liam opened and closed his mouth, not wanting to say the wrong thing, but wanting to say at least something. “Have you uhm… Have you seen the news or the tabloids or anything?” he asked quietly

“You know I don’t keep up with that crap,” Louis waved off, being subject to that too many times to count ever since he and Harry got back together.

He was just grateful that the paps found him boring at this point. Louis wasn’t sure how many times they could write stories on him and Holden going grocery shopping or to the park.

“Well I didn’t know if you knew but uhm…” Liam trialed off, feeling both Sean and Louis watching him.

“Liam say it,” Louis said, knowing this was about Harry. “What’re the tabloids saying about him now?”

Liam let out a quiet breath, looking between the two before focusing on his folded hands on the table. “They’re saying party boy Styles is back,” he said quietly. “He’s been going out every night, getting drunk and… Lou he’s going back to how he was before…”

“He’s having fun, I told him to have fun, it’s fine,” Louis waved off. “And besides what those people write is shit and you know it.”

“Louis I called Clara,” Liam said almost firmly. “She told me he’s been off, she basically confirmed it.”

Louis just looked at Liam, his jaw clenching and a deep breath escaping him so he wouldn’t start screaming.

“I was worried, I thought you knew but I didn’t want to say anything without knowing exactly what was going on,” Liam said softly, feeling Sean watch him carefully and knowing Louis was basically killing him with his eyes.

“We talk everyday, he’s fine, he always seems fine,” Louis said, quickly shaking his head.

Liam was just about to say something, not wanting to upset the older lad and explain himself but before he could utter anything he heard his beeper go off. “Shit… Lou I’m sorry but I have to go back to the hospital,” he said, already picking up his coat and pulling it on. “He may seem fine but I think you guys should talk… Something is going on with him.”

Louis felt his jaw go slack as he watched Liam leave the restaurant, then feeling his heart drop into his stomach at realizing he was left here alone with Sean. To say he was furious with the younger lad would be a bit of an understatement.

“Louis…” Sean said softly. “You okay?”

“M’fine,” Louis said, pushing the older lad’s hand off his arm.

Sean focused on him for a moment, knowing that from the face Louis was making he wasn’t fine. “Do you want to talk about it? I mean… Is Harry okay?”

“He’s fine!” Louis snapped, making Sean jump in his seat. He let out a few deep breaths, needing to calm down because he wasn’t mad at Sean, he didn’t do anything wrong. “I’m sorry, I…-”

“Don’t worry about it Lou, it’s okay,” Sean said softly, reaching a careful hand over and rubbing the blue eyed lad’s back. “You’re clearly upset for a reason but is it about what Liam said or about what Harry may or may not be doing?” he asked quietly.

Louis shook his head, needing to calm down before he started talking about this. “Both,” he muttered. “Harry is fine, I know he is, we talk everyday, he’s not going back to the way he was, I know he isn’t.”

Sean nodded, offering Louis some water as he kept rubbing his back to help him relax.

“Have you seen them?” Louis barely whispered. “The news articles? Have you seen them?”

And again Sean just nodded, biting his lip and wanting desperately to say something as he watched the younger lad throw his head onto the table. “Lou I remember you telling me what he was like with the uh, the drinking and going out, and maybe it wouldn’t hurt to talk to him.”

“I talk to him everyday,” Louis said, straining not to grit his teeth. “I think he’s fine, if he wasn’t he would say something. Those tabloids are bullshit.”

“Alright,” Sean said softly, offering Louis a small smile. “We don’t have to talk about it, I’m sure you’re right.”

Louis looked over to him, letting out a quiet breath and actually being grateful that Sean sounded sincere.

“Excuse me, uhm, could we get a big plate of those cheesy fries with extra cheese and bacon?” Sean asked, stopping a waitress and getting a nod from her. “I also remember you telling me how much you loved melted cheese when you were having Holden, so hopefully this’ll make you feel better,” he laughed quietly, looking back to Louis.

“After all these years I don’t know how you still remember that stuff,” Louis said, a small smile coming over him.

After all these years he never thought he would be with Sean alone but maybe he needed the company. Needed someone who wasn’t Niall, Zayn or Liam to talk to about Harry. Someone who didn’t really know the younger lad.

Sean shrugged sheepishly as he grinned back at Louis. “We may have only dated for 5 months but I remember all the “stuff” you told me.”

Louis hummed, trying desperately to bite back his smile and ignore the way his face was heating up. One thing he didn’t miss about being pregnant was the constant mood swings, going from happy go lucky one second to furious and a second away from crying the next. He was relieved he’s been able to keep himself together so far.

“We can still be mates you know,” Sean said quietly. “I know after we broke up you started avoiding me, but I like hanging with you, and it never hurts to have another friend around.”

Louis thought about it for a second, not sure how good of an idea it would be to be mates with his ex-boyfriend. But Sean was a nice guy and he bought him cheesy fries, that counts for something, right?

“Sure, we’ll have this be our first step into matehood,” he said through a small laugh, raising his water glass and letting Sean clink his beer to it.

“First steps into matehood,” Sean confirmed, smiling back at him before taking a swig of his beer. “You know we’ll have to go to lunch more often. If we want this mate thing to work.”

Louis rolled his eyes playfully, having to keep in mind Harry and that he probably wouldn’t be too fond of him hanging out with Sean. But he’ll tell the younger lad tonight when he calls him, he’s sure it’ll be no problem.

*~*

“Is it working? I can’t see you.”

Louis muffled a laugh into his hand as he could clearly see Harry fiddling with his computer. “Babe sit down, it’s working just fine.”

“Oh… Good!” Harry said happily, sitting in front of the camera. “Well then how are you love? Where’s Holden?”

“Uhm it’s pretty late here, I had to put him to bed,” Louis said quietly, the 4 year old having waited up for Harry as long as he could. “But it’s okay, really,” he said, not wanting the younger lad to feel bad.

Harry just looked at Louis, biting his lip and nodding before glancing down to his hands.

“H…” Louis said, wanting him to look up. “Really love, it’s fine, don’t feel bad,” he said, just earning another nod from Harry. “Babe… Are you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, m’fine,” Harry said, quickly snapping out of his small daze. “Are you okay? You feeling alright? I’m sure having the family over for the weekend was exhausting.”

“Having them over was actually really great, Holden especially loved it,” Louis said, offering him a small smile, not quite sure why Harry was acting a little funny. “But uhm, I wanted to talk to you, w-well I mean ask you if you’re really okay.”

“Do I not seem okay?” Harry asked with furrowed eyebrows, not even having talked to Louis for 5 minutes but this was the second time he’s asked him this.

Louis opened and closed his mouth, the younger lad seeming fine to him, just like he said he was. But what Liam had said was playing over and over again in his mind, he wanted to make sure Harry was really alright.

“Just… Liam said he saw a couple tabloids and he-... Well he may have suggested that you were uhm, that you-”

“Stop,” Harry shook his head, not even wanting to hear the rest of whatever Louis was going to say. “Whatever he said, whatever he’s telling you is bullshit… You do realize he was a big part of our problems right? I don’t understand why you still believe the shit he says!!”

Louis sat there still as he heard Harry yelling, as he saw the younger lad let out a few shaky breaths and refuse to look at the computer. “You don’t even know what I was going to say…” he barely whispered.

“What, about the drinking?” Harry asked harshly, snapping his head back to look at Louis. “That’s it, isn’t it? Liam saw the fucking tabloids and had to go running to you to tell on me!!”

“Harry I don’t understand why you’re screaming,” Louis said softly. “I get that Liam is sticking his nose in our business again but he wanted me to make sure you were okay…”

“Well tell him to stay out of it!!” Harry said frustratedly. “The last thing we need is Liam fucking Payne getting in the middle of us again!”

Louis bit his lip as he nodded, knowing Liam had a tendency to insert himself in their relationship and it was more than irritating for Harry. He hated it too, but Louis saw it as Liam just trying to help Harry.

“I know, I-... I’m sorry,” he said quietly. “If something was wrong you would tell me, I know.”

“That’s right,” Harry said firmly, getting a small nod from the older lad.

Louis looked at the younger lad, not knowing why he was getting so agitated, why he seemed so mad. But he didn’t want to fight and he knew Harry would really start screaming if he asked him if he was okay again. So instead he changed the subject. He told Harry all about how he started looking at houses and how Holden has been doing in school. And after talking for a bit Louis could see Harry calm down, but he couldn’t help but think about why he seemed so worked up in the first place.

He knew Liam got out of line sometimes, and Louis wasn’t going to lie, he hated how the younger lad put himself between him and Harry. And the next time Liam does something like this he won’t be afraid to tell him just how much he hates it, how much he’ll resent him if he keeps this up.

*~*

Louis fast walked down the hall, his messenger bag hitting his leg with every step he took but he was more than late and in a huge rush. “I’m here, I’m so sorry!!” he said, quickly reaching for his classroom door keys and shuffling past the students that gathered in the hall.

Louis let out a deep breath, almost a bit surprised the kids were near silent as they followed after him into the classroom. Normally they’d be talking his ear off about the weekend or even just talking to each other about whatever party they all went to on Saturday. But no, no one was uttering a single thing.

He slowly put his things down at his desk, his eyes scanning over the kids that had already taken their seats and were just looking back at him.

“Uhm… Did my cat die and no one told me? What’s goin on with you guys?” Louis asked through a small laugh, trying to lighten the mood a little bit.

He was more than surprised no one made a peep though, normally when he made jokes about Rob he at least got a smile. But then Louis saw one of his students in the back, her having her phone out and passing it to the person next to her who looked at it sadly and then caught his eye before quickly looking away from him.

“Clark, bring it here,” he said, having a feeling like whatever was on the phone would explain why his students were being so quiet.

“Mr. Tomlinson I… I really don’t think you want me to that,” the teenager said quietly.

“Now,” Louis said firmly, this not being up for discussion.

He watched Clark look around the room, some of the other kids shaking their heads and mouthing “No!” at him. But Louis just kept his gaze locked on the teenager, making him slowly get up from his seat and bring the phone to the front of the class.

“Go sit,” Louis said as soon as he had the phone in his hand, earning a small nod from Clark before he slowly shuffled to the back of the classroom.

“Mr.Tomlinson really, it’s nothing, we-... It’s just nothing.”

“Clearly it’s not nothing if you’re all so upset about it,” Louis said, looking down at the phone in his hands before opening it.

But as soon as he saw what was on the screen he felt his heart plummet into his stomach, his throat going dry and hands nearly shaking. Louis wanted to say something, he wanted to tell his class that this was a lie, but he wasn’t so sure it was.

Harry’s arm was wrapped firmly around some girl, her face buried in his neck and nearly clinging to him. Louis could see he was clearly drunk by the look on his face in the picture, well pictures of the both of them.

It was an entire article of the two, all about party boy Styles being back, him and Harry breaking up and the further Louis scrolled down the more he wanted to cry, to just throw the phone against the wall. Letters in bold saying **Father of the year?** with Harry in the picture, supposedly the same girl pressed into his side and too many drinks to count surrounding him.

Louis swallowed thickly, ignoring the worried stares he got from his students before shaking his head and begging his tears not to fall. “Class uhm… Class is dismissed, you may all go,” he barely said not even sure they heard him. But when they didn’t move Louis knew he couldn’t do this, not in front of them. “Just… Please, just get out!!” he screamed, running an angered hand through his hair and letting out a few deep breaths.

They all jumped in their seats at the sudden burst, but then didn’t waste a second before hurrying to pick their things up and scurry out of the room.

“Sarah!” Louis yelled, trying his hardest not to sound angry, but by the look on the young girl’s face it was clear she was a bit scared as she took her phone back from him.

He watched as they all hurried out of the room, waiting until no one was left but him before barely shuffling over to his desk chair and throwing himself in it.

Harry wouldn’t do this to him, he couldn’t. It was just tabloids, it was the usual shit they print to get readers, that’s all it was. Louis desperately tried to convince himself that none of this was true that whoever this girl was in the picture was just a friend of his but his thoughts were racing, hormones raging and heart breaking at the possibility of any of this being true.

Louis had to know if it was true, had to talk to Harry and clear this all up, hear him say that what these people were writing was bullshit. So he pulled out his phone from his bag, his hands trembling and tears rolling down his cheeks as he dialled Harry’s number.

“Loueh!! Babe how you- you doin?” Harry hiccupped through a giggle.

Just at that Louis squeezed his eyes shut, pressing his lips together and praying that Harry wouldn’t hear him crying. “H-hi uhm… Harry I really-, I-I need to talk to you.”

“So talk! I’m all ears!!” Harry slurred happily.

“I can’t with you drunk Harry, I-...” Louis cut himself off, covering his mouth with his hand to muffle his quiet cry.

“M’not drunk though!” Harry said, his words sliding together into one.

“Harry yes you are!!” Louis said, hearing it in his the younger lad’s voice as soon as he picked up the phone.

It was quiet for a moment, the only noise being Harry’s heaving breathing and Louis’ quiet cries. He didn’t even know what to say to the younger lad with him being in this state, if he could talk to Harry without letting his hormones get the best of him.

“I-I just saw something, I-...” Louis stopped himself, swallowing thickly and wiping his tears that refused to stop falling. “I can’t assume anything but please Harry just tell me who she is, t-tell me nothing happened.”

“You crying?” Harry asked confused. “Oh no, Louis I don’t want you to cry, it’s okay.”

“Harry just tell me who she is,” Louis barely whispered, not sure if his boyfriend could even think clearly enough to answer him. “I mean where were you last night? Did you go out with someone?” he asked, hoping Harry could at least understand that.

“Oh! Yeah!” Harry said, taking a large gulp of his drink before bringing his phone back towards him. “Dinner and dancing! Real fun!”

Louis rubbed a hand over his face, thinking that he should’ve talked to Harry, should’ve made sure the younger lad was really okay because it was clear something was going on. He couldn’t talk to him when he was like this though, knew he wouldn’t get anywhere with Harry no matter how hard he tried.

“Louis what- what’s wrong? Why you cryin?”

“Harry I can’t, I-I…” Louis hiccuped out. “I can’t talk about this right now, I-I’m sorry I called you.”

“What? No, no , you- you’re upset, talk to me,” Harry slurred worriedly.

“A name Harry, just give me a name, who is she?” Louis asked through a shaky breath.

“Who’s who? I don’t get it,” Harry shook his head. “Gem! Gemma come get the uhm- the phone Lou is sayin stuff I don’t get!!”

Louis felt his face drop as he heard Harry yelling for his sister but it wasn’t even a second later he heard her voice.

“Lou!! Hey! Sorry H is completely trashed I’m surprised he even lasted this long in a conversation,” Gemma said jokingly.

Louis opened and closed his mouth, not even knowing Gemma was on tour with him. “When did you fly over there? I mean-”

“I got in yesterday, last night we went out and Louis the clubs they have in South America are crazy!! Next time you and Charlie have to come!!”

It was more than a relief that it was just Gemma he was with but he was still worried about the younger lad. “Harry, how is he? Is he doing okay?”

“Uhm he seems fine,” Gemma chuckled. “Parties, shows, and then some more parties, my baby bro is livin the good life!”

“Right…” Louis said slowly, finally feeling his tears stop as he wiped his damp cheeks one last time. “I mean when he isn’t at shows or drinking is he okay? Like emotionally?”

“Well I’ve only seen him at one show and every other second he has a drink in his hand so I dunno.”

Louis bit his lip so he wouldn’t let out a frustrated breath. He could hear Gemma had drunk a bit too, but he had to talk to Harry, had to make sure he was okay.

“Listen just uhm… When he’s sober please tell him to call me,” he said quietly. “I really need to talk to him, it’s important.”

“Sure Lou! I’ll tell him to call you in the morning!”

Louis muttered a “thanks” before hearing Gemma say her goodbyes, and he could barely say them back as she hung up the phone. He only wished Harry would actually call him tomorrow, that the younger lad would talk to him. Not just say he was okay, but say if something was really bothering him and hopefully they could find a way to fix it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts on the chapter ?? What do you think is going on with Harry ? And just so everyone knows I read all the comments you guys post, and in all honesty love every one of them and seeing what you guys have to say ! Also I'm not a Louis stan, or a Harry stan ;) Leave comments, give opinions, thanks !! xx


	17. Chapter 17

Harry kept his eyes locked on his computer screen, the images almost blurring together but he could still see the two smiling, walking side by side and laughing like nothing was wrong. And Harry hated him.

He wrapped his fingers around the bottle just a bit tighter, his jaw clenching and free hand running gently over the tiny onesie that he takes with him everywhere. Harry swears by the end of the tour the little clothing won’t be more than a tattered rag. It’s constantly in his pocket or clutched in his hand as he sleeps, he can’t go anywhere without it.

But because he has it that doesn’t make him good, does it? He carries around his unborn baby’s onesie but he’s not a good guy, he’s not with them, he left Louis with a baby again.

Harry took a big gulp of his drink before wiping his mouth with the back of his hand and staring at the pictures on his computer. But he couldn’t even look at them too long without seeing Louis’ name pop up on the screen, the older lad trying to videochat with him like he has been for the past two days. He keeps ignoring him, and maybe it’s that that makes him a bad guy, because he’s not good, Harry knows that, he’s told himself that at least a thousand times within the past hour.

He answered the call anyway, taking another gulp of his drink before the camera focused on him. And Harry wasn’t even sure if the computers connected before he spoke up.

“How was your date?” he asked, trying his hardest not to slur his words but by the blurred look Harry saw on Louis’ face he didn’t succeed.

“Harry…” Louis barely whispered, shaking his head and rubbing a hand over his face. “What the tabloids wrote and the pictures are shit, don’t believe it,” he said almost firmly. “I literally ran into Sean on the street, we walked for three blocks together before we went our separate ways. Don’t be ridiculous.”

“Oh so you- you can accuse me of cheating, but if I utter anything about you seeing another guy I’m being ridiculous?!”

“Harry stop screaming, you need to relax and-”

“Shut up!!” Harry yelled, angrily pushing himself out of his chair and stumbling backwards before finding his balance.

It was silent for a second, the only noise being Harry’s heavy breathing and his quiet pacing as Louis just watched him. They haven’t been able to just talk without screaming for five minutes for nearly a week, and Harry knew it was his fault. He wasn’t a good man, he was a drunk man, an angry man and he knew that, it was his fault, all his fault.

“Harry put the bottle down, please,” Louis begged quietly, seeing the younger lad take more than a few large gulps of the drink. “I don’t want to fight, I-...Please just tell me what’s wrong.”

“M’fine,” Harry slurred, wanting to focus his eyes on the computer but only felt more dizzy at the bright light.

“Harry you’re not fine!!” Louis said, trying his hardest to will back the tears pooling in his eyes just at the sight of the younger lad. “You’ve been stumbling around for nearly two weeks!! There’s a difference between partying and depending on alcohol to avoid whatever it is you’re going through!”

Harry shook his head, his thoughts running a mile of minute and he wanted them to stop, wanted all of this to go away.

“Harry put the fucking drink down and talk to me!!” Louis screamed, seeing the younger lad take another swig from the bottle. “You can’t keep doing this! You have a family, you-”

“Louis I’m not a good guy!!” I’m selfish, I-I’m a selfish man!!” Harry yelled, stopping his pacing and looking towards the computer with glassy eyes. “I left you, I-I just left you again…” he barely managed out, muffling his quiet cry into his hand.

Louis looked at Harry for a minute, going almost completely still at seeing him start to pace again and breathe heavily like he couldn’t catch his breath no matter how hard he tried. “Harry… Love, breathe for me, okay?”

And again Harry just shook his head, letting the bottle slip out of his grip before clutching the sides of his head. “I can’t, I-I can’t breathe, I-”

“Harry! H, look at me, come back towards the computer and just look at me,” Louis said quickly, seeing his boyfriend nearly hyperventilating.

Never so badly has Louis just wanted to jump through the screen, to hold Harry and tell him everything was going to be okay. He knew the younger lad wasn’t fine, that he was burying something, drowning it in alcohol and wanting his thoughts to go away. It almost seemed like the time when they broke up and all Harry did was drink, and with what he was saying, that he left again it only reminded Louis more of that.

“Love talk to me, it’s okay, you can-”

“It’s not okay!!” Harry said, raising his voice again. “I-I’m not good!! I left you with a baby again! I-I’m here and y-you’re there!”

Louis let out a quiet breath as he watched Harry shakily sit back in his chair but as soon as he did that the younger lad just hunched over and cried into his hands. “Harry it’s different this time and you know that,” Louis said seriously, wanting him to understand this. “You are not a bad guy, you are not selfish and-”

“No, no, I am selfish!!” Harry said through a hiccupped breath as he picked his head back up. “Don’t you get it, I love being on tour!! I love travelling and playing shows a-and that makes me selfish!!”

“Harry it doesn’t make you selfish to love your job,” Louis said softly, more than relieved they were actually talking, that his boyfriend was finally opening up about what was bothering him.

“Y-yes it does!!” Harry cried into his hands.”I-It’s like me saying I love being away from you, but I-I don’t, I-I hate it!! And you- you’re having our baby and again I’m n-not there for you!!”

Louis looked at the younger lad for a second, watching him mutter to himself as he said he was a bad guy, that he was selfish, and Louis had no clue what to do. “Love you are here, alright? It was you who flew halfway across the world for a doctor’s appointment, for our son’s first day of school…” he said quietly. “The baby won’t be coming for another 6 months and you’ll be home soon and-...” Louis stopped himself  as he saw Harry shaking his head, faster and faster, and he knew the younger lad wasn’t believing a word he said.

He didn’t know what he could say, what he could do to make Harry believe him or how to even help him. But the younger lad didn’t even give him a chance to utter anything else before picking up another bottle on his desk, saying a barely audible “I’m sorry” and hanging up the call.

*~*

Louis let out a shaky breath as he ran his hands over his face and tried to stop his constant tears. He swears he’s been crying since Harry hung up on him yesterday and in that time all he knows is that the younger lad left New York and was heading to LA, but that was all. Well that and Gemma was on her way home, and actually on her way to the house to talk to him which he really appreciated.

“Daddy?”

Louis snapped his head up, quickly wiping his eyes and offering his son a small smile. “Hey buddy. Having trouble sleeping?”

“Well I hear you crying from my room,” Holden said quietly, biting his lip and carefully walking over to his daddy.

“I’m fine, it’s okay,” Louis reassured him. “Remember I told you that when someone is having a baby they get a bit emotional? Well this is me, being emotional,” he said, forcing a small laugh out.

“But you sure you okay?” Holden asked, giving his daddy a gentle hug and kissing his cheek.

“I’m sure,” Louis nodded, not wanting the 4 year old to worry. “Why don’t you try to get some sleep and in the morning we can call papa? He should be landing in LA in a couple hours.”

Holden nodded as he looked back at his daddy, making sure he was really okay before kissing him one more time and shuffling towards the stairs to get to his room.

Louis watched as Holden went upstairs, and he was actually grateful his son believed him when he said he was okay. It was no secret that him and Harry weren’t all that great, even Holden could see it. It wasn’t hard to pick up on the fact that whenever Harry called on the phone he only talked to Holden and before Louis could take the phone back the younger lad already hung up.

And Louis knew Harry just didn’t want to talk to him, to bring to the surface what he was feeling and actually discuss it. But enough was enough, tomorrow when he called Harry for Holden to talk to him he wasn’t letting the younger lad get on the phone with the 4 year old without talking to him first.

“Louis?”

“Gem, uhm hey,” Louis said, pushing himself off the couch as he saw her walk through the door. “Thanks for coming, it really means a lot. And I know you’re exhausted, but I just need to hear everything, if he’s okay, because he won’t talk to me and I’m a mess and-”

“Breathe, Lou, sit and breathe, c’mon,” Gemma said, sitting the younger lad back on the couch and taking a seat with him.

Louis nodded quickly, trying desperately to blink back his tears as he released and took in a few deep breaths. “Please, just tell me he’s okay.”

“Louis he’s just goin through some stuff,” Gemma said quietly. “He wouldn’t talk to me about it, and I know that’s the last thing you want me to say and I’m sorry, I’m so sorry… If I had known sooner that there was something wrong I would’ve… I dunno.”

“You were with him for a little bit so I’m sure that helped some,” Louis said as he locked his eyes on the floor. “I just wish he would talk to me, like really tell me what was wrong.”

Gemma bit her lip as she looked over at the younger lad and could easily see how tired he was, how worried he was. “Uhm right after I landed I got a message, well a video from him… I haven’t watched it but I’m almost positive he wanted me to show it to you, he knew I was coming over.”

Louis nodded quickly, Harry always in his videos giving him some type of clue as to how he was feeling or doing. So when Gemma pulled her phone out Louis quickly reached for it and didn’t waste a second before pulling it up. [(x)](https://play.spotify.com/track/5CRVwXGikmqzoRO6q7FeAg?play=true&utm_source=open.spotify.com&utm_medium=open)

As usual there was Harry on the screen, but instead of the younger lad talking like he normally does he was just sitting at a piano, not even wasting a second before playing. And Louis just watched him, feeling himself still like he always does when the younger lad starts singing.

He wanted to be there with him. He wanted to hold Harry and tell him everything was going to be okay, that he wasn’t selfish or a bad man, but was the complete opposite of those things. And from this song Louis thought Harry should know that he wasn’t what he thought himself to be, that he has to stop thinking of himself as a bad father, bad boyfriend. 

Louis just listened to the song, feeling shaky breaths escape him and tears pool in his eyes but when it was over he couldn’t help but let them fall. “I can’t do this anymore…”

“Can’t do what?” Gemma asked quietly, looking to the younger lad nervously.

But Louis didn’t say anything. All he did was shake his head, wipe his eyes and make his way towards the stairs to wake Holden up and pack their bags.

*~*

Harry let out a deep breath as he watched the crew rearrange the set, trying to get ready for his performance. He wasn’t sure if he could even sing this without crying, the entire interview by itself hasn’t been all that great so far, so he had to at least make his performance decent. Granted this song he was singing was written on the plane over from New York and he only sang it once, maybe it wouldn’t go as good as he needed it to. Well he did send the song to Ed and Clara and they thought it was really good so maybe it would go okay. He sent it to Louis too, but he didn’t respond. He doesn’t blame the older lad of course, Louis has a right to be mad at him, he’s not a good guy.

But now he was overthinking everything, he had to stop doing that.

Harry shook his head, rubbing his hands over his face and tried to concentrate, tried to stop his racing thoughts.

“Mr. Styles you’re on in five, you can head on set.”

“Thank you,” Harry said quietly, shuffling onto the set and making sure to thank each of the musicians before he got in front of his microphone.

He shuffled on his feet in front of the microphone stand, just waiting until they start. In the meantime though Harry waved and smiled to some people in the audience, earning squeals and excited waves back. But Harry couldn’t even laugh before he heard the stage manager counting down, the cameras focusing right on him and the band behind him.

“Alright, and we’re back with Harry Styles’ new single, Already Home.”

Harry smiled over at Ellen, giving her a small nod before the cameras swung over to him and the soft sound of the piano rang through the room. [(x)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d9w831GB8xY)

**You say love is what you put into it**

**You say that I’m losing my will**

**Don’t you know that you’re all that I think about?**

**You make up a half of the whole**

**You say that it’s hard to commit to it**

**You say that it’s hard standing still**

**Don’t you know that I spend all my nights counting backwards the days ‘til I’m home?**

Harry wasn’t even sure if he could get through the chorus without shaking. He messed up, he knew it, Louis knew it, he wasn’t a good guy.

**If only New York wasn’t so far away**

**I promise the city won’t get in our way**

**When you’re scared and alone**

**Just know that I’m already home**

Harry wanted to go home. He wanted to say how sorry he was to Louis, wanted to actually talk to him and explain what’s been going on with him. He couldn’t go another day like this, he felt like he was going insane but only because he was making himself that way. He just wanted to go home, to be with his family, be there for Louis.

He let out a deep breath before the next verse began, getting himself ready but before he could open his mouth to sing he heard him. Louis’ voice was singing clear and crisp through the speakers.

Harry snapped his head up, looking all over the place for Louis but it wasn’t until he heard a deafening cheer come from the audience did he see his boyfriend come out from the side of that stage, smiling softly at him and singing into a microphone.

**I say that we’re right in the heart of it**

**A love only we understand**

**I will bend every light in this city**

**And make sure they’re shining on you**

Harry couldn’t move as he watched Louis sing, couldn't believe he was actually here and smiling at him. He wasn’t mad or upset, but instead he was happy, almost relieved looking just at the sight of him. And as Harry looked back at him, watched and listened as his boyfriend sang he felt like he could breathe for the first time in weeks.

He shakily brought up his own microphone, adding in with Louis and if possible making the older lad light up that much more. He didn’t get it. Louis should be furious with him, Harry sure has hell was furious with himself. But no, his boyfriend was just happy, at peace as they walked towards each other and sang their hearts out.

It was this Harry has missing, it was them.

And when the song was over the two just looked at each other, Harry not sure what to do before Louis slightly opened his arms and nodded at him. Just from that Harry was nearly running at him, closing the distance between them and crashing into his boyfriend, hugging him with all he had.

“I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry,” he rushed out, immediately tucking his head into Louis’ neck and feeling him let out a deep breath against him. “I messed up, I-”

“We’ll talk love, it’s okay, it’s alright,” Louis said quietly, trying to soothe the younger lad as he rubbed his back.

Harry nodded against him just barely pulling away before pressing his lips to Louis’, feeling the older lad hesitate for a second before kissing him back. “I love you, I love you so much, you know that right?”

Louis bit his lip as he nodded back at Harry and gave his sides a gentle squeeze. “I know… I love you too,” he said quietly, seeing the younger lad visibly relax as he heard him. “Finish here and then we’ll talk, alright?”

“Okay, yeah,” Harry said quickly, earning a small smile from the older lad before he walked off to side of the stage.

He didn’t even realize just how much he missed being in Louis’ arms, how secure and safe he felt. And Harry didn’t want to spend another second feeling the way he has been for weeks now, he couldn’t go back to that. He had to talk to Louis, actually talk and not yell or scream but tell him what’s been wrong. So as soon as he was done with Ellen Harry didn’t waste a second before rushing to the side of the stage and finding Louis, and not surprisingly Holden right by his side.

“Papa!!!”

Harry dropped to his knees, immediately wrapping his arms around his son and kissing him all over his face. “My boy, God I missed you.”

“Miss you too papa,” Holden mumbled into his father’s neck, squeezing him as tightly as he could. 

Harry kissed him one more time before carefully picking Holden up and resting him on his hip. Even then though the 4 year old didn’t loosen his grip, but that wasn’t what Harry was focused on. Instead he kept his eyes on Louis, the older lad looking right I back at him, and they both knew, Harry knew he had to fix this.

“Clara said when we get back to the house she can watch him,” Louis said quietly, earning a small nod from his boyfriend.

Harry wasn’t quite sure what to say, so he didn’t say anything. Instead he led Louis outside the studio, rushing past paps and into the car where Clara already was.

As usual Holden was talking his ear off, going on and on about the plane ride, school and all the friend he’s making and Harry was trying to keep track of everything but he couldn't comprehend anything his son had said before they pulled up to the house. 

“Holden how do you feel about going to the beach with me? Your pop here has been telling me you miss the sand,” Clara asked through a small smile once they were heading inside.

“Okay! My bags already in my room, I go change!!” Holden said, already running towards the house, more than excited to go to the beach.

“Thank you,” Harry whispered to her before looking over to Louis and watching the older lad already heading into his house.

So he followed right after him through the large house until they reached his bedroom but even then neither of them knew where to start. But Harry figured he should start, this was all of his fault after all.

“Louis I’m… I’m so sorry about all the drinking and-”

“It’s not about the drinking,” Louis said quietly. “Harry what’s going on? I mean what’s leading to the drinking? I don’t understand because things were so great and then... “

Harry bit his lip as he nodded, trying to find the words, wanting and needing to explain but he didn’t know how. “Louis I don’t know, it’s- it’s like an itch I can never fully scratch and when I start thinking of everything I’ve done wrong it gets worse and worse and…-”

“Alright c’mere,” Louis said softly, gently tugging on the younger lad’s arm and having him sit on the bed with him. “When did you start feeling like this love? You were calling yourself a bad guy and selfish and saying all these crazy things and I just don’t understand where it call came from because you are absolutely none of those things.”

Harry rubbed his hands over his face, himself trying to figure out what he was feeling. There was such a mixture of things that it became messy and it was that mess he always overthought, always tried to drink away. But he had to try to sort it all out, had to clean up the mess and tell Louis everything.

“I love being on tour,” he said quietly, unable to meet the older lad’s eye. “If I’m being honest it’s one of my favorite things… But then you told me about the baby and I felt so guilty I-... I left you with a baby again…”

“Harry it’s different this time and you know it,” Louis said seriously. “It’s okay to love being on tour, it’s more than okay, it’s great how much you love it,” he said softly. “Don’t feel guilty for doing something you love.”

“But it’s like I’m saying I love being away from you and-”

“H that’s how you see it, not me,” Louis stopped him, seeing the younger lad getting lost in his thoughts.

“And the guilt is killing me,” Harry finished. 

Louis looked at him for a moment, really seeing how tired Harry was, how worn down he seemed. He was drinking his guilt away, drinking his thoughts away and Louis didn’t know how to help him, if he could at all.

“Harry I love you,” he said quietly. “You have nothing to be guilty over… You are an amazing father and boyfriend and you need to know that,” Louis said reaching a careful hand over and making the younger lad look at him. “Right now you’re just a little lost love… But you’ll get back.”

Harry let out a deep breath, trying to stop himself from shaking his head, knowing that Louis would tell him not to. He didn’t want to feel like this, he wanted his thoughts to stop racing, wanted to have control again.

“Are you mad at me?” Harry asked, glancing at the older lad nervously.

“No,” Louis said almost immediately, needing Harry to know that. “I’m not mad love, I’m worried.”

Harry almost wanted to cry at hearing that, Louis should be mad at him, he should be screaming at him. “I messed up Lou, I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry.”

“C’mere, it’s okay,” Louis said, pulling the younger lad into his side and kissing his temple. “You’re not selfish or a bad guy, you’re human,” he said softly into Harry’s neck. “We all make mistakes love, God knows I’ve made my own and it’s okay for you to make some too.”

It was quiet for a moment, just Harry’s shallow breathing as he rested his head on Louis’ shoulder and tried to clear his thoughts. He was just filled with so much guilt he didn’t know what to do, how to deal with it.

“What do I do?” Harry barely whispered. 

“We just gotta get you back on track love… Have to remind you how great and loved you are,” Louis said through a small smile, pressing a kiss into the younger lad’s hair. “You did nothing wrong H, it’s alright,” he said, pulling him just a bit closer.

Harry nodded against the older lad, not even able to say how happy and relieved he was that Louis was here. Maybe he could start to feel normal again.

*~*

“Papa c’mon, you gotta show me! Just one more time please?!” Holden nearly begged, tugging on his father’s arm so he would get up.

“H if I get on that thing one more time my bum is gonna break, gimme a minute and I’ll try again,” Harry chuckled, falling off the boogie board too many times to count before he finally gave up. “Why don’t you go practice? I’m sure Clara is better at that thing than I am anyway.”

“Fine, but I’m gonna get you in 10 minutes!!”

Harry actually let out a groan as he threw himself back into the sand but if anything he hasn’t felt this good in nearly a month. Just being near Louis and Holden again made him feel better, he wasn’t nearly as lonely as he’s been and the two just reminded him of how loved he was. The guilt and the thoughts of being selfish and a bad guy were slowly slipping into the back of his mind.

There were still some things he wanted to talk to Louis about though, things that were still bothering him. Sure they talked for a while in the bedroom before Clara called, Holden requesting their presence on the beach, but now Louis was napping and tanning in the sand and Harry was sure he had broke his bum from falling off the boogie board a thousand times. Maybe while Holden was a bit distracted though he could try to talk to him.

“Lou… Louis,” Harry said softly, gently running a hand over the older lad’s growing belly, just a little sad he refused to take his shirt off because his bump was getting noticeable and he didn’t want anyone asking questions. “Love, wake up.”

“Hm? What?” Louis asked, slowly picking his head up and squinting his eyes into the bright LA sun. “You okay? What’s wrong?”

“M’fine,” Harry chuckled, rolling on his side and slightly hovering over him. “Just wanna ask you something,” he said quietly.

“Course,” Louis said, sitting up and pulling his sunglasses down from his hair and resting them on his nose.

Harry bit his lip as he wiped Louis’ back and rid the sand off his shirt, trying to figure out how he was going to say this. “Was what those articles wrote about you and Sean really all lies? Cause I know the pictures weren’t fake… But was the going out to lunch, the meeting up… Replacing me?” he said just loud enough for the older lad to hear.

“Of course I wasn’t replacing you,” Louis said like that was a ridiculous question. “I mean, yeah we went to lunch maybe twice but I swear the third time we ran into each other on the street… Don’t pay any mind to the pictures, if his hand was on me it was just to calm me down, it wasn’t like we were flirting or anything.”

“You weren’t flirting but I’m sure he was,” Harry muttered. “M’just not comfortable with you hanging out with him… He is your ex after all.”

“Understandable,” Louis said quietly as he nodded at Harry. “I won’t see him anymore love, promise,” he said, offering him a small smile before pecking his lips and laying back down in the sand.

Harry watched as the older lad laid back down, something still nagging at him, a question he’s been wondering about for months now. “Did you really not sleep with him?” he barely whispered.

Louis slowly turned his head to look at Harry, carefully sitting up and pulling his sunglasses off. “I didn’t,” he said, not meeting the younger lad’s eyes. “We… We tried a couple times but I couldn’t.”

“What do you mean tried?” Harry asked with furrowed eyebrows, trying his hardest not to get mad at Louis for not telling him the whole truth when he asked the first time.

Louis opened and closed his mouth before rubbing his hands over his face and trying to not look back at Harry’s small glare. “He was uhm… He was ya know, like prepping me and uh, trying to uhm, well he was putting the condom on but every time he was about to push in I just couldn’t, it wasn’t right… He just… He wasn’t you.”

Harry just kept his eyes on the older lad, saw how nervous and scared he was that he would be mad. “Do you trust me?”

“Of course.”

Harry had to stop himself from shaking his head, had to bite his lip so he wouldn’t say something he didn’t mean. “I feel like you don’t sometimes,” he said quietly. “You see what a tabloid publishes or hear the latest rumors and you don’t even ask me if they’re true, you just assume they are and attack… That’s not trust.”

Louis looked right back at the younger lad, nodding before letting out a deep breath and shifting his gaze to the sand. “It’s hard for me Harry, and it’s not you, I swear it isn’t…” he said, reaching for the green eyed lad’s hand and giving it a gentle squeeze. “Please believe me when I say that I trust you more than anyone in this entire world I’m just … I’m so sorry about saying anything about cheating, I really am…”

Harry saw Louis meant it, and he gets it, he really does. The older lad has a million and one reasons for having trust issues, his mum, Liam, him, it’s not hard to figure out why Louis is the way he is. He just wished after all this time Louis would believe him, would trust him. But after everything that’s happened to him Harry wasn’t sure how long it would take.

“Love,” Louis said softly, giving his hand another squeeze. “I-”

“I know Lou,” Harry stopped him. “You trust me as much as you can,” he said, offering the older lad a small smile. “We’ll get back to where were.”

Louis bit his lip as he looked over at Harry, almost wanting to scream how much he trusted Harry, how sorry he was for making him feel the way he does. He’ll just have to tell him everyday, make him know exactly what’s going through his head and Harry will have to do the same with him. It always came back to the communication with them, but this time Louis is determined for it not to get in the way of them.

“I love you.”

Harry picked his head up, his eyes immediately finding Louis’ and smiling softly back at him. “I love you too.”

“Papa! Daddy!! Come on!!” Holden yelled, running until he smashed into his papa, hugging him tightly around his neck. “The water is so so nice and Clara can’t throw me in the water, so come on!!”

“You’ve been throwing him in the water?” Louis asked wide eyed.

“Clara catches him and makes sure his little head pops up, he’s fine,” Harry said, blowing a raspberry on the 4 year old’s cheek before standing up with him. “Coming Lou?”

Louis glanced towards the water as he bit his lip and played with the hem of his shirt. He knew people would notice his belly, it not so obviously went over the band of his shorts and he couldn’t explain weight gain like this in such a short period of time.

“You look amazing love, c’mon,” Harry said softly, placing Holden down and offering the older lad a hand up. “Anyone tries to ask questions or bug us we’ll have Paul tackle them,” he chuckled, earning a head nod from his bodyguard.

“Please don’t tackle them,” Louis said quickly, earn a loud laugh from the large man. And then of course he realized Harry was kidding.

He was still a bit hesitant about taking his shirt off as people were already staring at them but he also really wanted to go in the water and actually play with his son and boyfriend. So he hesitantly pulled his shirt over his head, looked around to see if anyone was watching him before taking Harry’s offered hand and getting up.

“Gorgeous,” Harry said softly, kissing the older lad and gently running a hand over his growing stomach.

“Yeah, yeah, you very pretty daddy, now let’s go!” Holden, tugging on both his fathers hands and dragging them to the ocean.

Louis rolled his eyes fondly as he looked down at his son and then almost had to hold back a groan when he saw Harry wink at him. He wasn’t so sure they would be saying how nice he looked in 6 months when he was really fat and cranky and moody, but for now he’ll take the compliments.

*~*

Louis carefully tossed and turned on the bed, trying his hardest not to wake Harry as he got comfortable. He hasn’t been able to fall asleep since they got into bed nearly four hours ago, but Louis figured it was because there was something nagging at him.

He wanted to wake Harry, wanted to tell him something but it was nearly 3 am. Well the younger lad has woken him up at this time too many times to count so maybe Louis could do it to him this once.

“H… Love?” he asked quietly, rubbing a gentle hand over the younger lad’s bare chest.

Harry cracked his eyes open, just barely picking his head up and looking to Louis. “What’s wrong? You okay?”

“Yeah, m’fine,” Louis said softly, resting himself on the curly haired lad’s chest. “I just… Something's been bothering me.”

“What is it Lou?” Harry asked, nervous the older lad felt sick or was in pain.

Louis opened his mouth, the words ready and wanting to come out but for some reason it took him a minute to find his voice. “I’m sorry I lied to you about Sean,” he barely whispered. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you the whole truth the first time…”

Harry looked at him for a second, biting his lip and giving Louis a small nod before pulling him into his side. “... Do you think we’ll ever get back to how we were?” he asked, not even sure if the older lad heard him in the silent room.

Louis kept his eyes locked on Harry, himself thinking about this question too many times to count but too scared to ask, to bring it up. “No I don’t…” he said, making the younger lad go still under him. “Harry we’re not the same people we were 6 years ago… I don’t think we’ll get back to how we were, I think this time around we could be better. We just- we have to-”

“You have to trust me,” Harry stopped him. “I need you to trust me and I need to communicate with you.”

“That’s right,” Louis said quietly, nodding at the younger lad. “I love you H… We may be different people now but that’s one thing that has never changed.”

“I love you too… Always have, always will,” Harry whispered into the older lad’s hair, rubbing a gentle hand over his growing bump and pulling him in impossibly closer.

Just at that Louis felt like he could breathe since they got into bed. The two of them can make this work, he knew they could. It was just going to take a little work.

*~*

Louis shuffled down the hall, his bare feet hitting the cool wooden floors. He swears he will never get used to how nice LA is all the time, he can actually walk around the house in just his briefs and not be freezing, he absolutely loves it.

Not only could Louis walk around in only his briefs but when he woke up this morning all he wanted to do was look at houses, so that’s what he did. Harry wasn’t in the bed when he woke up so Louis just scrolled through by himself on his Ipad but when he found the perfect house he nearly jumped out of bed and started searching the large house for the younger lad.

“Harry!!” he yelled, as he carefully and quickly made his way down the stairs and towards the living room, hearing the piano playing. “H you have to see this house, it’s-”

Louis stopped himself, going completely still as he saw Harry sitting at the piano and Sam Smith standing next to him.

“Louis, it’s so nice to finally meet you,” the dark haired man smiled at him, offering him his hand.

Louis doesn’t know what noise came out of him, some kind of squeak as he hid his baby bump behind his Ipad and shakily shook Sam’s hand. “U-uhm yeah, yeah, nice to uhm, nice to meet you.”

At that Sam’s smile only widened, giving Louis’ hand a gentle squeeze and glancing back at Harry. “H you never told me just how adorable he is,” he said, looking the blue eyed lad up and down.

“Both of you stop it, right now,” Harry said, seeing the two eye each other. “Sam either back up from him or get out.”

“Relax love, he’s okay.”

Harry rolled his eyes as he saw Louis grinning back at Sam so he took it upon himself to reach for the dark haired man and pull him away from his boyfriend. “What do you need Lou? You said something about a house.”

“Oh uhm, yeah,” Louis said sheepishly, passing the younger lad the Ipad and trying to not feel self conscious as he stood there in front of Sam in just his briefs. “It’s beautiful H, right outside of London, not too far from the school and we can even put a music or recording room in there for you.”

Harry scrolled through the pictures, a smile coming over him as he saw more and more of the house. “We’ll set up an appointment for as soon as I get back home to see it.”

“Great,” Louis said happily, taking the Ipad back from Harry. “So uhm what’re you guys doing?”

“Working,” Harry said, needing to remind Sam of that as he caught the older lad staring at his boyfriend. “Why don’t you wake up H and head down to the beach? Or ask him if he wants to kick the football out back?” he suggested.

“What’re you guys working on?” Louis asked, walking towards Harry and peering over his shoulder.

“Your boy here is helping me finally finish my album.”

Louis hummed, giving his boyfriend’s shoulder a gentle squeeze as he scanned over the music. He recognized the songs on the piano from when he and Harry first reconnected, after the first time they kissed in years and Louis basically ran away. He always had such a way with words, making poetry before he wrote the music.

“Amazing love, like always,” Louis said softly, kissing his boyfriend’s hair before rubbing his back. “I suppose I’ll let you two get back to it then.”

“Oh you don’t have to Louis, it’s-”

“Nope, it’s okay,” Harry said, stopping Sam. “Go have fun with H, I’ll catch up with you two when we’re done.”

Louis rolled his eyes fondly before winking at the younger lad and offering Sam a small smile. And even if he saw Harry glare at the dark haired man at least Louis knew things were getting better. Their small conversations and all of their problems coming out on the table were slowly getting them back to normal, and making Harry feel like himself again. They were going to be okay, Louis knew they would be.

*~*

“Papa when we move do Addi and Rob get they own room?” Holden asked, scooping up some more sand and pouring it on his father’s chest.

“There will be enough rooms where they could,” Harry laughed. “But I think we’ll just keep those as guest rooms and save one for your new sibling.”

Just at the mention of his new brother or sister Holden’s smiled grew as he dug further into the sand. “I can’t wait for the baby,” he said softly. “Cause I gonna be a big brother and that mean me and baby can play all the time.”

“It’s exciting, isn’t it?” 

Holden hummed and nodded happily as he pat the sand on his papa’s chest. “Are you gonna be home when baby born?”

“Of course,” Harry said, furrowing his eyebrows as he looked over at the 4 year old. “I’m gonna be home in another month.”

“Well I no know when the baby come,” Holden shrugged, only seeing his daddy’s belly getting a bit bigger and knowing his sibling is growing in there.

“The baby is coming in another 6 months, he or she still has to grow for a bit, but I’ll definitely be home.”

“Good,” Holden said happily, smiling down at his father.

Harry offered his son a small grin back as he wrapped an arm around him and pulled him a bit closer. He wished Louis was here with them, that the older lad wasn’t napping back at the house so he could hear what Harry had to say. Of course he’s told Louis this maybe a thousand times, repeated it to him over and over again and probably will for a while.

“Buddy I’m sorry I haven’t been there for you for the past couple months… I’m sorry I’ve been away,” he barely whispered, unable to meet his son’s eyes.

“What you talkin about papa?” Holden asked confused. “I know you busy cause this you job, but you there for me, it okay.”

Harry so badly wanted to say it wasn’t okay, tell his son how awful he felt about basically leaving him and Louis behind. But just like Louis has Holden would tell him it’s okay, that he hasn’t done anything wrong, when in fact Harry felt like he’s done everything wrong. 

“I really love you buddy, you know that?”

“Of course,” Holden scoffed, making a small smile come to his papa. “I love you too,” he said, dipping his head and kissing his father’s hair. “And daddy and baby love you lots too.”

Harry bit back a small laugh as he felt the 4 year old patting his hair and saw him grinning down at him. He couldn’t even think about how lucky he was to have Holden and Louis, to hear them say over and over again how much they loved him, how they weren’t mad at him. Having them here at all while he was in LA was amazing, even if it was for a short time. For the first time in what seemed like forever he felt normal, and hopefully he could keep it this way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for being a bit late with this chapter, I just didn't have wifi for about a week and couldn't get to my docs. Leave comments, give kudos, share opinions, thanks !! xx


	18. Chapter 18

“Lou I can’t see the screen, move it more to the right.”

Louis rolled his eyes fondly as he switched the camera facing him on his phone to the front camera so Harry could see the ultrasound screen. “There you go love,” he said softly. “You see how big the baby got?”

Harry let out a shaky breath as he nodded to himself and tried to hold back his widening smile. “That’s our baby Lou…” he barely managed out.

“Yeah love, that’s our baby,” Louis said through his own grin.

Harry was almost scared that if he kept smiling the way he was his face would split. It wasn’t even a week ago that Louis and Holden were with him in LA, where he saw the older lad and his growing belly. But now, actually seeing the baby again was amazing to him. How much the baby has grown from when he first saw him or her at just 2 months old, and then now at 4 and a half months old.

“When do we find out of it’s a boy or girl?”

“No, no, not until you’re home, I want you here,” Louis said, turning the camera back on him.

Harry bit his lip but nodded anyway, the waiting to find out if they were having a boy or girl has been killing him, but he wanted to be home too when they find out. He’d be home in just three weeks though, he could last that long.

“Everything is looking great here,” Heather said happily, moving the wand over Louis’ stomach. “And if you boys want I can write what you two will be having in a card and when Harry comes home you can open it together.”

“Please,” Harry said without hesitance.

Louis laughed to himself and nodded at Heather, nearly jumping on the examination table from how excited he was. Just three more weeks and he and Harry would know, could start thinking about names or even go shopping for their little boy or girl.

“Louis if you open it without me I swear to God-”

“H I won’t, I promise,” Louis stopped him, knowing he would have to give the envelope to Zayn or Liam just so he won’t torture himself.

Harry hummed, eyeing his boyfriend for a second as he pursed his lips. Louis was going to have to do everything in his power not to peek at the envelope, he only hoped the older lad would keep his promise.

Louis thanked Heather as she passed him the envelope and began to wipe off his stomach.

“So I will see you in another two months alright? Remember to take your vitamins and if you’re tired rest. Don’t be your stubborn little self, sit down every now and then,” Heather said, eyeing Louis playfully and earning a sheepish laugh from him.

“Don’t worry doc, I got’em,” Harry said, smiling at the older lad. “Three more weeks love.”

“Three more weeks,” Louis breathed out.

He knew they could do that. Three weeks was nothing compared to what they’ve been through these past couple months. This past week alone in LA did them more than some good. Just at looking at Harry through the screen Louis could see how much better he was doing. But after he said goodbye to Heather and was headed towards his car did he actually ask the younger lad.

“How’re you doing love? Feeling okay?”

“M’good,” Harry said happily, watching his boyfriend get into his car. “I have a show tonight and then right after I’m hopping on a plane.”

“Well make sure you get some rest then,” Louis said softly.

“Of course,” Harry rolled his eyes playfully. “What about you? How is everything back home?”

Louis bit his lip as he shrugged and let out a quiet breath. “I have paps following my every move, but other than that, good.”

“What do you mean? What’s going on?”

He could hear the worry in Harry’s voice, could see it written all over his face as he looked at him nervously. “It’s that stupid baby watch thing… And they’re asking for updates on you, how you’re doing and about that whole “cheating” thing.”

Harry rubbed a frustrated hand over his face, hating that they were talking to Louis at all, hating that they were following and bothering him. “I’ll have Clara send out news of how I’m doing, deny all rumors of cheating and demand apologies from those who wrote that I was or you were,” he said quietly. “As for them following you around will you please agree to going out with a bodyguard?”

Louis bit his lip as he thought about it. Harry has wanted him to start going out with a bodyguard when they first started dating again, and with the paps now being worse than ever Louis needed to consider it.

“Isn’t there like something you can do to keep them away?”

“Love I… I’ve done everything I can, I-... I don’t- I can’t-”

“Hey, hey, it’s alright,” Louis said softly, not wanting Harry to worry. “If it makes you feel better I’ll start going out with a bodyguard.”

Harry nodded, it being almost a year since he first tried to convince Louis to have a bodyguard. “I’ll get one of the guys you know to go out with you from now on… It’ll only be until I come home, I promise.”

“You want to keep us safe love, it’s okay,” Louis said, offering the younger lad a small smile. “But what do I do about them asking about the baby? I can’t tell the media yet can I, and without you here I don’t want to to.”

“No, don’t say anything, just ignore them,” Harry shook his head. “When I get home we can tell everyone.”

Louis’s grin widened as he saw how happy Harry was. He knew how badly his boyfriend wanted to tell everyone, to share the news and basically scream at everyone he met that they were having another baby.

“Are you really okay though? Are you feeling alright? Like any pain or-”

“I’m fine H,” Louis said through a quiet laugh. “Ankles are a little swollen, back is just a little sore but it’s nothing I can’t handle.”

Harry gave Louis that face like he didn’t believe him, but he was thousands of miles away and couldn’t help his boyfriend the way he wanted to. “I can’t wait to come home.”

“And I can’t wait for you to come home,” Louis smiled at him. “But right now I want you to get some rest, you look tired and worried, and I don’t want you to be those things.”

Harry rolled his eyes fondly but nodded anyway, almost ready to collapse from how tired he was. “Alright, I’ll talk to you later love. Tell H I miss him and that I love him. I’ll try to call before bed.”

“Of course,” Louis said softly. “I love you, talk to you later.”

Harry whispered his “I love you’s” back, smiling back at his boyfriend and giving him a small wave before the computer went black.

*~*

Louis pulled his sweater over his head, fiddling with the hem of it as he looked at himself in the mirror. He was more than grateful it was October and that he could wear loose clothes like this and he could somewhat hide his growing belly.

Already at 4 months along he was a decent size, bigger than he remembers being with Holden. He wasn’t worried though, Louis was sure that if something was wrong then Heather would’ve told him. Maybe this baby was just going to be bigger than Holden was, that’s all.

“H? You all dressed buddy? I was thinking we could make waffles for breakfast!” he called out, making his way out of his bedroom and to his son’s room.

“With sausage!!” Holden called back, running out of his room excitedly and nearly crashing into his daddy.

Louis stumbled back as he felt the 4 year old on him, sending him a playful pointed look before ruffling his hair. “Alright you little king, let’s go make some breakfast.”

Holden smiled happily up at his daddy before scurrying down the stairs, Addi following closely behind him as he skipped into the living room.

Louis shook his head and smiled fondly to himself as he watched his son, always so amazed by how happy he was all the time. And he knew just with him making  what Holden wanted for breakfast the 4 year old would grow that much happier.

“Daddy!! Papa is calling!!” Holden screamed, running into the kitchen and showing his  father the ringing phone.

“Well then answer it,” Louis laughed, mixing the waffle batter together and trying to get everything situated.

Holden answered the facetime call excitedly, not giving his papa a chance to even smile at him before he screamed his hello’s. “Papa daddy making breakfast, see?!”

“I do see,” Harry laughed, waving to his boyfriend and getting a wink back from the older lad. “How are you love? You look exceptionally handsome this morning.”

“Always quite the charmer,” Louis said, smiling back at him. “And I’m doing great, day is off to a good start. Your son is being his demanding little self, but what else can you expect?”

Holden’s jaw drop as he heard his daddy teasing him and his papa laughing. “And you being you sassy big self, be nice,” he said, pointing a little finger at his daddy and poking his belly.

“Oh stop it you two,” Harry rolled his eyes playfully. “How are you H? Has daddy been nice to you while I’ve been gone?” he asked, glancing over at the older lad and smiling at him.

“He’s been okay I guess,” Holden said jokingly, earning a gentle jab from his daddy as he continued making their breakfast. “Last night he show me a song and say that it makes him think of you!”

“Oh?” Harry perked up.

Louis glanced over at the camera and shrugged sheepishly as he nodded. “Remember when we first started dating all those years back? It was around this time,” he said, earning a soft smile and hum from the younger lad. “Well the song I sang to him makes me think of that time we were walking along the river and the trees were that beautiful orange, yellow and red color.”

“I remember,” Harry said quietly, his smile only widening as he thought back to it. “What song is it?”

“Somewhere Only We Know.”

“I don’t think I know that one. Sing a bit of it.”

Louis rolled his eyes, knowing very well that Harry has heard that song a thousand times, the younger lad just wanted him to sing. He swears his boyfriend will do anything to get him to sing, but this once Louis thought he could entertain him so he sang a bit of it.

“Oh yeah, I know that one,” Harry said, winking at the older lad and hearing him scoff.

“Papa where are you?” Holden asked confused, seeing his father in a seemingly dark place but there was a bright light shining on him.

“I’m just hanging out with a couple friends. You guys wanna say hi?”

“Yeah!!” Holden said excitedly, making sure the camera was on both him and his daddy so they could both say hi.

“Alright everyone, say hi!”

Louis felt himself freeze as all of a sudden there was a deafening cheer and he saw his boyfriend turn his camera to a stadium full of people.

“You guys are on the big screen!” Harry said through a loud laugh as he saw his terrified boyfriend and surprised son. “You have no clue how hard it was to get them all to quiet down!!” he yelled over the screaming crowd.

Louis opened and closed his mouth, his face going hot and he was sure he was bright red as he saw the thousands of people waving and yelling.

“Hello!!” Holden said happily. “I’m Holden Edward Tomlinson! How are you?!”

Harry rolled his eyes fondly, that being what the 4 year old said every time he used to join him on stage. It always made the crowd go crazy, and it was no exception even though Holden wasn’t here with him but on the screen.

“You okay love?” he asked teasingly, seeing his boyfriend’s startled face.

Louis was sure the only noise that came out of him was a small squeak before he quickly turned away and decided that making breakfast was the most interesting thing.

“Don’t mind him everyone, he gets scared,” Holden waved off, hearing loud laughter come from his papa’s end.

Harry muffled his laughter into his hand before he focused the camera back on him. “Alright buddy I’d rather not give daddy a heart attack and I have a show to get back to so I’ll talk to you later, okay?”

“Okay!” Holden said happily. “Bye papa, I love you!”

“Love you too big guy,” Harry said through a soft smile. “Louis, babe,” he said, wanting to older lad’s attention, and when his boyfriend nervously glanced at him his smile only widened. “I love you.”

Louis bit his lip, trying to hold off his own grin as he nodded back at his boyfriend. “Love you too.”

Harry waved once more to the two before saying his final goodbye’s and hanging up the phone, just to reach for his microphone and guitar a second later to continue on with his show.

*~*

“Where is he?” Holden groaned, looking all around for his papa.

“He’ll be here any second buddy,” Louis said, himself searching all over for the younger lad.

Holden jumped excitedly in place, just the thought of seeing his papa made him grow happier and happier with each second that passed.

Louis bit his lip nervously as he looked towards the tunnel where Harry should be coming through. He couldn't believe the younger lad was finally coming home, that the tour was over and they could be a proper family again.

Louis couldn't even get too excited about the thought though before he heard screaming and yelling coming from the tunnel. He could just barely see Harry, his bodyguards trying to keep paps back as they took pictures of him and shouted their questions. But as soon as the younger lad picked his head up and caught sight of the two of them he didn’t waste a second before smiling widely to himself, passing his bag to Paul and pushing past the paps to run to them.

“Papa!!” Holden shrieked, letting go of his daddy’s hand and sprinting to meet his father.

Harry dropped to his knees as soon as he could reach his son, pulling the 4 year old into his chest and kissed him all over his face. “My boy, look how big you are!” he said, scooping him up and immediately heading to Louis.

“Hello my love,” Louis said softly, wrapping his arms around the younger lad and muffling a laugh into his neck as he felt Harry kissing him anywhere he could.

Harry couldn’t even say anything as he squeezed his boys and connected his lips with Louis’, everything he misses when he goes away immediately coming back to him as he felt the older lad kissing him back.

“Look at you,” he breathed out, pulling away from Louis and placing a gentle hand on his stomach. “You look amazing, my God.”

Louis laughed against his boyfriend as he felt him kissing him again and his hand running softly over his growing belly. He was sure even under his large and loose sweater that Harry could feel how big he’s gotten, how much rounder his stomach is.

“I’m so happy to be home, I missed you both so much,” Harry said, pulling Louis as close as he could to him and kissing Holden again.

“Miss you too,” Holden mumbled against his papa’s shoulder. “Papa you gotta see Addi, she get so big!”

Harry nodded and chuckled at his son before giving him one more kiss and setting him down. “Well then how about we get home and I can see just how big she is, hm?”

“Yes!!” Holden cheered, immediately taking his papa’s hand and nearly dragging him towards the doors.

“Paul can you-”

“Already on it H, I’ll follow behind you guys with the bags,” Paul laughed, letting the younger lad go.

Harry called out a “thank you!” before following after his son and reaching for Louis’ hand. He couldn’t even say how happy he was to be home, to be with his son and boyfriend.

“So now that you’re home how much longer do we have to wait until-”

“We’ll see the house tomorrow and I was thinking that maybe tonight we could open the envelope,” Harry said softly, earning a wide smile from the older lad.

Just at that Louis had a little skip in his step. He already made an appointment to see the house tomorrow, he was just happy that Harry brought it up first. And the fact that tonight, finally after waiting weeks to find out what they’ll be having they can open the envelope.

“You didn’t peak at it, did you?”

“Of course not!” Louis said, making Harry laugh and roll his eyes. “Trust me, I wanted to. But I knew I couldn’t, not without you,” he said, kissing the younger lad’s cheek quickly.

Harry hummed to himself, smiling down at Louis before squeezing his hand gently and following him to his car. It was so different being back in the November chill in England, rather than the warm weather he was so used to, but this was home.

And when Louis pulled up to the all too familiar house Harry was almost ready to run out, and finally be home. As soon as he walked through the door Addi was jumping on him and licking him, clearly missing him too. Rob was at his feet too, wanting some attention as well but Holden was quick to get his papa’s attention for himself, showing his father all of his school things and all the projects he’s been working on.

“H let your pop rest for a little bit, he’s had a long day,” Louis said, watching as Holden dragged Harry one way and then another. “Why don’t you let him relax and you can help me with his special dinner?”

Holden groaned but nodded anyways, knowing he had all the time in the world with his papa now that he was home.

“Love you want anything to drink?” Louis asked as he took out what he needed for dinner and glanced over at the younger lad.

Harry bit his lip as he took a seat on the couch and looked back at Louis.

“You can have one H, it’s fine,” Louis said, already heading towards the fridge and reaching for a beer. “As long as you feel alright.”

“Yeah, I’m more than alright,” Harry said softly, smiling at his boyfriend as he walked over to him and passed him the drink.

Louis hummed, leaning down and pecking his boyfriend’s lips before heading back into the kitchen and getting everything situated so he and Holden could make dinner.

Harry knew as soon as his jet lag wears off it’s going to be him pampering the older lad. That was something he couldn’t wait for, finally being here for Louis and the baby. He couldn’t wait to look at the house, to go shopping for the baby and decorate the nursery, it’s what Harry has been looking forward to for months now.

Just being here with Louis and Holden now was everything Harry has been missing. The simple things like eating Louis’ cooking and hearing his son talk about school, doing the dishes and then tucking Holden in bed. But as soon as they knew the 4 year was asleep Louis was quick to go to their bedroom and grab the envelope he’s been dying to open for nearly a month now.

“Are you sure you don’t want to open it with Holden?” Harry asked as soon as the older lad came back into the living room, nearly jumping in his seat from how excited he was.

“I want to tell him when we tell everyone else. Ya know, have a little party and everything,” Louis said happily.

Harry nodded and said a quiet “okay” before smiling at the older lad and pressing his lips to Louis’. “Well c’mon then, let’s open it!”

Louis didn’t need to be told twice before practically ripping open the envelope, trying his hardest not to actually tear the paper inside. But as soon as he had the paper in his hand Harry was quick to look over his shoulder, both of them growing wide smiles as they saw what was written on it.

“Boy!”

“Girl!!”

Louis furrowed his eyebrows, looking over to his boyfriend confused. “Love it says boy.”

Harry opened and closed his mouth, if possible his smile growing as he shook his head. “Lou… Look, it-... We’re having a boy and a girl.”

Louis stared at the paper in his hands, a barely audible “twins” escaping him before he felt Harry lunging at him.

“Louis twins!! We’re having twins!!” Harry almost screamed into the older lad’s neck, wrapping his arms around him and kissing him all over his face.

Louis let out an airy laugh as he felt his boyfriend on him, his smile growing wider and wider at the thought. Twins… Him and Harry were actually having twins.

“I love you, I love you so much,” Harry said through his own grin, cupping Louis’ cheeks and kissing him gently. “Can you believe it Lou?”

“No,” Louis chuckled, shaking his head and running a hand over his growing stomach. “But shit I’m so happy.”

“Me too,” Harry breathed out, still a bit in shock that they were having a boy and a girl, that two little babies were on the way. “Just imagine all the cute little clothes we get to buy, and picking out names and the nursery! Oh Louis, just imagine the nursery!!”

“We have to pick out a house first before we start on a nursery,” Louis said, reminding his boyfriend of that small detail.

Harry hummed and nodded, muttering a quiet “oh yeah” before laughing to himself. “Well tomorrow we’re seeing the house and then we’ll buy it and start on the nursery!”

Louis rolled his eyes fondly at the younger lad before pecking his lips and giving his thigh a gentle squeeze. He listened to Harry as they climbed the stairs to get to bed and even while they were in bed, going on and on about the nursery and all the clothes and little toys they’ll have to buy. Louis was almost tempted to hide the baby name book he had open on his bedside table but he couldn’t before his boyfriend found it and started going over all the names the blue eyed lad had highlighted already. And Louis didn’t mind in the slightest as he listened to Harry list off names, the younger lad’s voice soothing him to sleep as he talked about the babies coming.

*~*

Louis let out a huff as he sifted through the rack of pants, hating that he had to go further and further back to get to the bigger pairs. One thing he didn’t miss about expecting a baby was the growing belly and swollen ankles, and now with finding out they were having twins Louis figured he was going to get a bit bigger than he did when he had Holden.

But a second later he was taken out of his thoughts, feeling his phone vibrating in his pocket and reaching for it before Louis saw Harry’s name flashing on the screen. “Hey love.”

“Lou where are you?”

“Out shopping, why?” Louis asked, balancing his phone between his cheek and shoulder as he kept looking for pants.

“Babe…” Harry said, clearly rubbing his hand over his face as he breathed into the phone. “Did you not see the news? I told you Clara was putting out a piece about you expecting and confirming everything, people are gonna be all over you.”

Louis looked around the store before laughing to himself and grabbing a pair of pants to put in his cart. “I didn’t see it cause I just got out of work, but no one is here love, I’m gonna be fine.”

“Louis the world is freaking out right now, it was only posted like 20 minutes ago! Please, please just come home and you and I can go shopping with a bodyguard tomorrow, I promise.”

“Fine,” Louis breathed out, not even bothering to look for anymore clothes. “You picked up H from school right?”

“Yeah the little booger is running around with Addi as we speak.”

“Alright well at least get him started on his homework,” Louis laughed into the phone. “I’ll be home soon though, love you.”

He heard his boyfriend whispers his I love you’s back, no doubt there was a touch of worry in his voice, but Louis knew he would be fine. Of course the news was big about them expecting a baby, and when they told everyone that it was in fact twins the world would go even crazier. If anything Louis was more surprised that more people haven’t picked up that he’s pregnant. He was 5 months along after all, and even under his loose sweaters anyone could see he had quite the belly and it couldn’t possibly be just weight gain. The media has been all over him, seen nearly once a week on those gossip shows and baby watch. With the news out and an actual confirmation published though maybe things would calm down just a bit and the paps would be at bay.

“Excuse me Louis Tomlinson right?!”

Louis snapped his head up, having to back up from how close this teenage girl was to him before he slightly nodded at her. “Uh yeah, hi.”

“Hi!!” she said excitedly, smiling widely at the older man.

Louis bit his lip and looked around the store, grateful that there weren’t many people there. “Uhm so Harry isn’t here, and I’m guessing it’s him you’re looking for, but I was actually on my way out, so-”

“Well I actually saw you and wanted to talk to you!” she said happily. “I heard the news, you know, about the baby, so congrats!!”

“Oh, well thank you,” Louis said, offering her a small smile. “H and I are really excited, I know he’s been dying to tell every person he’s met. He had to nearly strain himself at all the concerts and not just scream it,” he laughed, almost making the girl in front of him squeal.

“You two are just so cute!! And when you surprised him in LA and sang that song, just ugh! You guys must sing together all the time! You sounded so amazing!”

“Uhm we don’t actually,” Louis chuckled sheepishly as he scratched the back of his neck. “In uni we did all the time cause we were in a choir group together and always got paired together to sing duets, but we haven’t sung together in a long time.”

“Well I thought it was amazing what you did,” she smiled at him.”I know you said you were heading out, probably to avoid people like me, so I’ll let you go then.”

Louis grinned back at the young girl, her maybe being one of the nicest fans he’s encountered. “You know uhm… If you uh, if you happen to have a twitter and you give me the username I can give it to H, and I’m sure he’d be happy to give you a shoutout or something.”

The girl had basically froze in front of him, her jaw going slack before she looked like she was a second away from crying.

“Okay, alright,” Louis said quickly, not wanting her to start hyperventilating. “Here uhm, just write it down and I’ll give it to him, it’s okay.”

She shakily took the paper and pen Louis was passing her, carefully writing down the username and passing everything back to him.

“Are you okay?” Louis asked carefully, now the girl being strangely quiet.

“I… I-I’m just so happy,” she said, suddenly bursting into tears and covering her face in her hands.

Louis looked around, opening and closing his mouth as he had no idea what to do. “Well I’m uhm, I’m happy I could help,” he tried.

The girl nodded, trying to wipe her eyes and catch her breath so she could actually talk. “Y-you’re so amazing, I-I-...”

“Hey it’s alright,” Louis said through a small laugh, hearing her get choked up. “I’ll be sure to tell H how nice you are and how much you love him and his music.”

She didn’t even know what to say, instead all she could do was start crying more. And when she asked Louis for a picture with him he said of course, and even afterwards giving her a small hug before saying a final goodbye and walking to his car.

That was maybe one of the nicest fans Louis has run into and he was actually excited to go home and tell Harry about her.

“Haz!” Louis called out as soon as he stepped foot in the house. “Love, I’m home!”

“Oh good, just in time,” Harry said happily as he met his boyfriend in the foyer. “H c’mon, let’s get our shoes on!”

“Wait, what?” Louis asked confused.

“Babe we have an appointment to look at the house, did you forget?” Harry asked, helping Holden get his shoes and coat on.

Louis hummed, saying a quiet “clearly” as he followed the two to Harry’s car. But as they drove through the city and towards the house Louis told Harry all about the girl he met at the store and it was impossible to see how happy the younger lad was at hearing how nice a fan was to him. And when Harry said that he would make a video for the girl and follow her on Twitter that made Louis’ own smile grow.

“Papa where are we going?” Holden asked as he looked out the windows, seeing the city disappear and the houses get bigger and bigger.

“We’re going to look at our new house.”

“Possibly our new house,” Louis laughed, giving the younger lad’s hand a gentle squeeze.

Harry scoffed as he rolled his eyes, knowing they were definitely going to buy it. The pictures online were absolutely beautiful and both him and Louis already loved it, there was no way they weren’t going to be living in this house by next week. He already put his flat up for sale, started packing and even began organizing some of Louis’ things so they could be put into boxes.

“I can’t wait to move,” Holden said through a soft smile. “Cause me and Addi gonna run around and Rob has lots more room to sleep.”

“There’s a pool too buddy and a hot tub. How much fun do you think that’ll be?” Harry asked, glancing in the rear view mirror and seeing the 4 year old light up.

Louis looked over at Harry, giving him a silent message to not get Holden’s hopes up, but even he knew that there was a high probability that they were going to be buying this house.

“And I want the baby’s room right next to mine!” Holden said happily.

“I dunno buddy, there will be a lot of crying and I’m not so sure you’ll want to be near all of that,” Louis laughed, still preparing himself for twice the amount of crying.

“Well babies are cute right?” Holden asked with furrowed eyebrows. “Cause if babies cute then I no mind.”

Louis hummed, not so sure Holden would think of his little siblings as cute when they’ll be crying in the middle of the night. He couldn’t wait to actually tell the 4 year old that they were having twins, that he’s going to have both a little brother and sister.

“Alright boys, here we are,” Harry smiled, pulling up to the gate and pressing in the code that the realtor gave him.

“Whoa, fancy,” Holden breathed out, but as soon as he saw his papa drive close to the house his jaw dropped.

Even Louis was still in his seat, the massive house, or should he say [mansion](http://www.houzz.com/projects/820675/torrey-pines), even more beautiful than the pictures.

“This must be a £100, this is huge!!” Holden said excitedly, kicking his legs and more than ready to hop out of the car and explore.

“Yeah, try adding a few million on there,” Harry laughed as he got out of the car and unbuckled the 4 year old.

Louis didn’t even want to know the price of this place, only ever looking at the pictures because if he saw how much it cost he would probably start freaking out and say that it was too much.

“Mr. Styles, Mr. Tomlinson, it’s a pleasure to meet you, I’m Mark.”

“Hi!!” Holden said excitedly, stepping front of his papa and shaking the older man’s hand that was offered to his father. “I Mr.Tomlinson too!”

“Oh, well it’s so nice to meet you too Mr. Tomlinson,” Mark laughed as he looked down at the toddler. “Charming little one you have here.”

“Yeah, he’s kinda cute,” Harry said teasingly, making Holden scowl at him before he shook Mark’s hand himself. “Please, call me Harry, this is Holden, and Louis,” he introduced, smiling over at his boyfriend and ruffling his son’s hair.

Louis said a quiet “hi” as he shook the older man’s hand as well, in return getting a congratulations on the baby, of course immediately making Harry light up and Louis laugh. “Thank you, clearly we’re very excited.”

“Hopefully excited enough to buy a house huh?” Mark chuckled. “Shall we get started?”

“Please,” Harry said happily, scooping Holden up and following the older man towards the front door.

Louis followed them inside, listening to Mark as he started talking about the details in the house and just at hearing how many bedrooms there were he almost choked on his spit. But actually walking around the large home and seeing it in person and not online his breath fell short.

Holden was already trying to run everywhere and he was thankful that Harry was holding onto him so he wouldn’t break anything. The 4 year old clearly loved the place, and Harry was already over the moon about it. And of course Louis had to hold everything in him to not jump around and scream they would take it, they still had to look at the entire house after all. But just at the foyer, living room and kitchen Louis was sold.

“Look at my playroom!!” Holden screamed, managing to wiggle out of his papa’s arms and gawk at the room. “Do I get this?! Is it mine?!”

“You do buddy,” Harry laughed, watching his son throw himself into a bean bag chair and stare at the large ping pong table in the room.

“The furniture comes with the house?” Louis asked with furrowed eyebrows.

Harry bit his lip as he looked over to Mark, the older lad smiling at him before leaving the room and giving them some privacy. “Well uhm… See, the thing is, uhm…”

“... What did you do?”

Harry was a bit lost for words, opening and closing his mouth but the longer his boyfriend looked at him the more worried he could see him getting. “I uh… I may have bought the uhm, bought the house already… And got a decorator to furnish it and everything for us.”

Louis just looked at Harry, his entire body going still, breathing stopping and jaw dropping at what the younger lad had told him. “You… You bought a- a house, an actual… Oh my God…”

“Babe,” Harry said quietly, taking a careful step towards his boyfriend to stop him from pacing. “It’s okay, you love the house, I love it, H loves it, there’s no reason to freak out.”

“Harry a house!! You bought us a house!!”

Harry opened and closed his mouth, a small laugh escaping as he saw that Louis was excited, that he was more than happy and not furious with him. “You’re excited?” He asked, not believing it.

“Excited? Harry I’m fucking ecstatic!!” Louis said, rushing towards the younger lad and crushing him in a hug.

“Daddy!! Bad word!!” Holden scolded.

“H pop bought us a house! This is our house!!” Louis said, almost screaming as he gave Harry another squeeze and started kissing him all over his face. “Holy shit, I love you, this is so amazing.”

Harry smiled against the older lad, more than relieved that he wasn’t mad. “Don’t get upset but I already moved my stuff from my flat in here too.”

“The bedroom! Oh we have to go see the bedrooms and the music room, c’mon!” Louis said, not even fazed by what Harry said before he almost tugged him out of the playroom and to the stairs.

Harry laughed to himself as he felt Louis pulling on his hand and as he walked around the house, their house with his boyfriend and son he saw how much the two loved it. From the pool, to every single room and all the frunisher Louis and Holden were crazy over it. But there was one room Harry had the decorator leave bare, one room he wanted to plan with the older lad.

“Lou,” Harry said softly, pulling his boyfriend to the only room he hasn’t shown him yet. “This is going to be the twins’ room.”

And it was almost immediate Louis’ face lit up, even at the bare room just at all of the possibilities they could do to it, at the thought of the twins he couldn’t stop his widening smile.

“I love you,” Louis barely whispered, wrapping an arm around his boyfriend and pulling him into his side.

Harry looked down at Louis, seeing his him just look around the empty room, and at the thought that in just 4 months there would be two more little people with them, joining their family, Harry didn’t fight his own grin.

“I love you too.”

*~*

“Lou what the hell?” Zayn breathed out as he followed his best mate up the stairs. “Where can I find my own hot popstar who will buy a house for me?”

Louis rolled his eyes as he laughed to himself and led Zayn to the nursery. “I’m sure there will be parties H and I will be going to, you can join us and try to find a popstar.”

“I will definitely be taking you up on that,” Zayn said, clapping the older lad on the back.

Louis smiled back at him before showing his best mate the still bare nursery. “So this is the only room in the house that H and I haven’t done anything with yet, but he and I talked about it and we would love it if you could paint it or come up with a mural or something.”

“Yeah, of course mate,” Zayn said happily. “Any ideas you boys have or a theme? And also, knowing the gender will really help.”

“Oh no, you can’t get it out of me that easily,” Louis chuckled. “You’ll have to wait another two hours like everyone else. Luckily though that gives you just enough time to sit in here and start sketching out what you’ll be painting.”

“Fine,” Zayn muttered, not sure if he could actually wait until the party to find out. “I’ll get started in here and you can go help H prepare for the mob that’s going to show up.”

“Or nap,” Louis shrugged, that seeming like a better option. “But I’ll get you when everyone starts showing up. Happy sketching!”

Louis heard the younger lad call out a “thanks!” before he left the room and went off to find Harry. He knew his boyfriend has been scrambling all day, cleaning the entire house, cooking, trying to keep Holden entertained, and begging Louis to sit down and relax. Really though, Louis wanted to help. It was almost impossible to contain his excitement at finally telling everyone what they were going to be having, and he wanted to help Harry prepare for it all.

“Lou what are you doing?  I want you to lay down before everyone comes over,” Harry breathed out as he saw his boyfriend try to help in the kitchen.

“Love I can finish cooking in here, I feel more than fine, relax,” Louis rolled his eyes playfully.

“Well do you need anything?” Harry asked, coming up behind the older lad and rubbing his back. “Tea or are you hungry?”

Louis nearly melted under Harry’s touch, the way his hands completely relaxed his tense muscles. “Babe you can’t offer and do all of these things, you’re gonna kill me,” he teased.

“Oh, really?” Harry hummed, pressing his thumbs into the older lad’s lower back, making him lean into touch that much more. “See your stressed, I just want you to relax.”

“M’not stressed,” Louis mumbled. “You’re just really good at massages.”

Harry rested his head on Louis’ shoulder, letting out a small laugh and kissing him at the nape of his neck before slowly pulling away. “How about after everyone leaves and H is in bed you and I break in that new hot tub?”

At hearing that Louis groaned, still being settled in the house for almost two weeks not used to everything they had. “Sounds perfect,” he said, smiling back at the younger lad and tipping his head back to capture his boyfriend’s lips.

“Stop kissing and help me!!” Holden said, crashing into his papa and pulling on his arm.

Harry felt the wind get knocked out of him, but that didn’t stop him from laughing at the 4 year old. “Alright handsome boy c’mere.”

“See I buttoned the buttons all by myself but the-the clips too hard, I can’t reach it,” Holden said, stumbling over his words as he showed his papa his suspenders. “You need to get dress up too, both you need to look handsome like me.”

Harry scoffed as he rolled his eyes, hearing Louis laugh as well. “What you don’t like my band tee?” he asked jokingly. “Don’t worry big guy, daddy and I will be sure to dress up.”

“Good! It a party after all! We need to look nice!!”

“And we will,” Louis said, smiling down at the 4 year old. “Uncle Zayn is in the nursery, why don’t you go up there and maybe give him some ideas as to how to paint it?”

Holden’s face lit up, saying a quick and excited “okay!!” before scurrying off towards the stairs.

“I’m about to banish you upstairs too, c’mon love,” Harry said, already pulling on Louis’ hand and away from the stove so he would stop cooking.

“What? No, no, I wanna help, please H,” he almost begged.

“Here’s what we’re gonna do,” Harry said, already leading Louis to the stairs. “You’re going to take a nice, long and relaxing bath while I finish everything up and make sure it’s all done before everyone shows up.”

Louis let out a quiet breath, that sounding too tempting to pass up, so he didn’t fight his boyfriend on it. Instead he let Harry lead them to their room, fill up their massive tub with bubbles and hot water and even light candles.

“You’re too good to me,” he mumbled once he got in the tub, sinking lower and lower into the water.

“I try sometimes,” Harry said quietly, smiling down at the older lad as he ran a hand over his boyfriend’s growing belly. “You feel okay?”

“I feel amazing,” Louis said, placing a hand over Harry’s that laid on his stomach.

“Good,” Harry said softly, kissing Louis’ lips sweetly before standing up. “I’ll bring you some tea in a few minutes, alright?”

Louis hummed, not sure if he would ever get used to Harry pampering him like this. But when their family and friends come over in a few hours he was sure all hell was going to break loose, especially when they tell everyone about the twins. For now though Louis could at least enjoy his quiet time and his boyfriend treating him like an absolute king.

*~*

“Addi! No jumping on Ed, he old!!”

“Holden!” Ed said through a loud laugh as he made his way inside the house. “I am not old you little booger! I’m only 29!!”

Holden furrowed his eyebrows as he looked at the ginger haired man, him looking much older than that. “Oh… Sorry,” he giggled.

Ed gave the 4 year old a playful pointed look before petting Addi and looking around the large home. He had to hand it to Harry, buying this place for Louis and Holden must’ve been one hell of a surprise.

“Come on! Everyone in the living room!!” Holden said, pulling on Ed’s hand.

“Hey!! There he is!” Harry said happily as he saw Ed come into the room and almost bounded for his best mate.

“Someones excited huh?” Ed teased as he hugged the younger lad back.

“How can I not be?! I finally get to tell all you guys what we’re having!”

Ed couldn’t stop the small laugh that escaped him as he saw Harry nearly bouncing in his shoes, but if he was being honest he was just as excited as his best mate. He’s been waiting for forever to finally find out and from the looks of it everyone else in the room was just as eager to learn the sex of the baby.

“Well I can’t wait mate,” Ed said, clapping him on the back. “I’m gonna go say hi to Lou and your family, be right back.”

Harry nodded at him, seeing Ed walk over to Louis and Charlie and as he looked around the room he was more than happy to see everyone together. All of his family had driven down and his mates that were in town and able to make it came by. Of course those mates were famous as well and when they showed up Louis was just a bit startled but when Sam came by all the older lad did was blush. And Harry thought everyone was here when Ed showed up but it was only a second later he heard the doorbell go off.

When he reached the door though and pulled it open his smile almost immediately fell, looking between the two and feeling his jaw clench. “Who invited you?” he asked, eyeing Sean as he stood there like nothing was wrong.

“Louis did,” Liam scoffed like Harry should’ve known this as he pushed past the younger lad and made his way inside.

Harry opened and closed his mouth as he watched the two walk through the home, Louis never mentioning that Sean was coming over. The older lad promised him that he told Sean to stay away, that he would never talk to him again and yet here he was at their doorstep. But instead of starting anything he let out an aggravated breath and made his way into the kitchen to grab a beer. Harry knew he would have to talk to Louis about this later but right now he decided to just ignore them and remember the good news he couldn’t wait to share with everyone.

“Louis, hey!!” Liam said happily, immediately heading to his best mate and wrapping his arms around him.

“Liam hi!” Louis said excitedly, hugging the younger lad back. But then he saw Sean behind him and his smile slowly fell. “And uhm Sean, hey,” he said quietly, looking between the two.

“Sorry Soph couldn’t make it, I know she really wanted to come but it’s her brother’s birthday and her family is going out,” Liam said, offering his best mate a small smile.

“Yeah, it’s okay,” Louis said, grinning back at him before glancing over to Sean and biting his lip. “If you’ll uhm, excuse me a second, I just need to talk to H real quick. Make yourself comfortable, look around the new place if you’d like.”

He saw Liam nod back at him before looking around the living room so he made his way over to Harry, gently placing a hand on the younger lad’s back. “Excuse me, I’m sorry. H can I talk to you?” Louis asked, pulling the younger lad away from Anne and Robin.

“Course,” Harry said, smiling at his mum before following Louis into the kitchen. “You ask me in here to explain why you didn’t tell me you invited Sean?”

“What?” Louis asked confused. “I wanted to tell you that I had no idea Sean was going to show up... I told him I couldn’t and didn’t want to see or talk to him, I swear H I don’t know why he’s here.”

Harry looked at the older lad for a second, it clear Louis was telling the truth and if possible he only felt more hatred towards Liam. “I swear I’m going to kill him… Who the hell does he think he is? This is bullshit, this day is for our family and friends and he comes along and pulls this?”

Louis could see Harry was straining himself not to scream, trying his hardest not to just go into the living room and drag the two out of the house. “I can ask them to leave, it’s fine,” he said quietly.

Harry shook his head, running a frustrated hand over his face and trying to calm down. “Whatever, they’re here now, he’s your mate, I don’t care,” he muttered.

“Harry you do care, and it’s okay, I can tell them-”

“It’s fine,” Harry said seriously, not wanting there to be any drama. “We’re still going to have an amazing night,” he said, offering the older lad a small smile.

Louis bit his lip and let out a quiet breath, knowing Harry was still a bit upset but he grinned back at his boyfriend anyway. “Sam was asking for a tour of the place earlier, I think I’ll give him one now,” he said, pecking the younger lad’s lips and heading back to the living room.

“Stay out of the bedrooms,” Harry said jokingly, earning a scoff from the older lad as he followed after him.

And as he watched Louis walk up to Sam he made sure to eye his mate before they went off on their tour.

“So H when is this announcement being made? I know someone who’s getting impatient and I’m not just talking about your mum,” Robin said, the waiting to find out if they were having a boy or girl killing him.

“Oh c’mon Robin you know I love to torture you,” Harry teased. “But probably when Lou gets back with Sam. He just went off to show him the house.”

Robin hummed, himself loving the house the more he saw of it. “I have to say that pool house you have out back is beautiful. Don’t be surprised if your mum and I move in when summer comes around.”

“I’m sure Lou and I would be more than okay with that,” Harry said, offering the older man a soft smile. “I really missed you guys while I was on tour and now that I’m home I might keep you hostage.”

Robin let out a loud laugh, waving Anne over so she would join them. “You hear that love? Harry is gonna keep us here in this big ole beautiful house of his, isn’t that a shame?”

“Do I get to be kidnapped too?” Charlie asked, earning a playful smack in the arm from Gemma.

“Sorry mate, Ed and I already have dibs on the spare rooms,” Niall said before sending a teasing wink to Charlie and taking a swig of his beer.

“Well you can’t have dibs on all of them!!”

Harry couldn’t stop his laughter as almost everyone in the room was “arguing” over who gets to stay at the house and whose room was whose. Even his mates who had their own mansions, well actually multiple mansions and even a few boats were playfully bickering over it.

“None of you get room cause that Addi and Rob’s room!!” Holden said very seriously, adamant about getting his pets their own space.

Everyone looked at the 4 year old, muffling laughs into their hands as they saw the look on his face.

“I might move in here too mate, especially if that means I get to hang out with this one all day,” Sam said, coming back into the room with Louis.

“Alright, and you can get away from him now,” Harry said, pulling on Louis’ arm and tucking him into his side.

“Louis’ back, time for the announcement!!” Robin quickly said, unable to be left in the dark for another second.

Harry let out a quiet laugh, wrapping an arm around his boyfriend before sipping at his beer and nodding. “You ready love?”

“As ready as I’ll ever be,” Louis said softly back, smiling up at the younger lad.

“Alright,” Harry breathed out, trying to contain himself as he thought about what they were about to do. “If I could have everyone’s attention!”

And it was immediate the room went silent, all of them eager to hear the news. But it was Holden who pushed past everyone to be front and center, almost bouncing in his shoes and tempted to scream out if he was having a brother or sister.

“As you all know we’ve gathered you here today for some very exciting news,” Harry said happily. “Louis and I couldn’t be happier about our family getting a bit bigger, but when we heard what we were having I think both of our hearts stopped for a second,” he laughed quietly, glancing down at the older lad and seeing his smile grow. “We don’t want to keep torturing you all, so I guess we’ll just come out and say it,” Harry said, letting out a deep breath and earning an encouraging nod from his boyfriend. “Louis and I… We’re uhm… Well, we’re having a boy, and a girl… It’s twins!!”

Louis was absolutely still, watching everyone’s reaction but he could only do that for so long before they all started to scream and rush towards them to hug them. Holden was there first of course, nearly climbing on his papa and yelling that there were two babies coming. It was clear the 4 year old couldn’t wait to have a brother but he seemed just as excited at having a sister as well. He went on and on about all the games he could play with them and how much fun they’re going to have, and Harry could hardly keep up with his mum crying in his other ear and kissing him all over his face.

“I’m so proud of you dear,” Anne said, wiping her wet eyes before giving her son one more kiss.

“Thanks mum,” Harry said softly, smiling down at her before pulling her into his side.

“Nana I gon be a big brother!” Holden said excitedly, jumping in his papa’s arms.

Anne smiled at her grandson, taking him from Harry’s arms before listening to him go on and on about his siblings coming.

“Can you believe it love?” Louis asked, tucking himself into his boyfriend’s side. “Everyone knows now and we’re in this amazing house, the nursery is getting started… It’s just…”

“It’s amazing and wonderful and I love you,” Harry laughed quietly, leaning down and pressing his lips to the older lad’s.

“Excuse me, Louis,” Liam said, wanting his attention. “Can we talk for a second?” he asked, offering his best mate a small smile.

Louis nodded, whispering a quiet “it’s okay” to Harry as he saw his boyfriend nearly killing Liam with his eyes. But he led Liam to the den anyway, figuring he wanted to talk in private.

“So, twins huh?”

“Yeah, twins,” Louis said, never able to stop his smile from growing just at the thought of them.

“It’s awesome mate, I’m so excited for you.”

“Harry is more excited out of anyone, he’s so cute whenever he talks about the babies coming and he’s always asking if I need anything. Definitely different from when Holden was coming, huh?” He asked jokingly.

Liam hummed, nodding along with Louis as he pressed his lips together and looked away from the older lad.

“Mate…” Louis said quietly. “Why did you bring Sean?”

“I didn’t think it was a big deal,” Liam shrugged. “He really likes you Louis, and I know you like spending time with him too.”

“But I asked him to stay away,” Louis said almost firmly. “I’m with Harry and we’re more than happy. I don’t need you creating problems.”

Liam shook his head, letting out a sarcastic laugh before looking back to the older lad. “You know what I find interesting? How you don’t see it… How once again you’ve blinded yourself because you think you’re in love.”

Louis felt himself still, his mouth opening and closing as he heard the younger lad. “What are you talking about?”

“Harry’s just like Matt,” Liam said without hesitance. “He tells you who you can and can’t see or talk to and-”

“Don’t,” Louis said, stopping him before he could say another word. “Harry is nothing like him… I can’t believe you… How can you say that, how can you stand here and after everything we’ve been through just-”

“I want to protect you Louis!” Liam said, telling the older lad this time and time again. “Harry isn’t a good guy!! He’s a drunk and a liar and you deserve better, someone like Sean who won’t hurt you, won’t turn their back on you!!”

Louis couldn’t say anything, couldn’t move as he tried to blink away his tears but still felt them rolling down his cheeks. “Tell me you didn’t… Please, tell me you weren’t trying to get Sean and I back together,” he nearly begged, just at the thought of Liam doing such a thing to him, to Harry making him get more and more choked up.

Liam stood there quiet for a moment, not meeting the older lad’s eye as he shuffled on his feet.

And just at that Louis could see it, he knew that’s why Liam was bringing Sean along with him whenever they meet up. “O-Oh my God…”

“Louis… I just… When Harry was on tour and I saw him going off the rails with all the drinking and the partying I didn’t understand how you couldn’t see it… How you refused and still refuse to see the fact that he’s a drunk, and not a good guy,” Liam said quietly, just watching as Louis shook his head, and his tears fell faster and faster. “I wanted you to remember how nice it was to date someone normal, to have a genuine relationship with someone who won’t hurt you… That’s what you need and Sean-”

“Stop,” Louis said, not able to hear another word from the younger lad. “It is not your decision who I see, or who I date… How can you do this? I-I mean what the fuck is wrong with you?!” he screamed.

“Louis I won’t apologize for trying to protect you, for trying to be a good friend and-”

“Friends don’t do this to each other!! Friends don’t hurt each other the way you’ve hurt me, the way you’ve played me!!”

“Louis I wasn’t playing you! Yes, maybe I saw Harry go off the deep end and took advantage of that, tried to show you his true colors, but you have to see the kind of guy he-”

“What’s going on in here?”

The two snapped their heads up, Harry coming into the room and looking between them before he saw Louis’ tear stained cheeks.

“What the hell did you do?” he spat before rushing over to his boyfriend and wrapping his arms around him.

Harry immediately felt Louis tuck his head into his neck his tears coming out in choked sobs and he could just barely hear the older lad as he told him what Liam had said to him, what he had done. But as soon as Louis had finished Harry didn’t waste a second before looking to Liam, holding everything he had in him to just lunge at him.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Harry said, letting go of Louis and taking a step closer to Liam.

“Nothing is wrong with me, I just have a problem with you,” Liam said, crossing his arms over his chest and squaring his eyes at the younger lad.

“So much of a problem that you don’t care if you hurt Louis or not?” Harry asked, stepping even closer to him. “What a great fucking friend you are.”

“And as if you know how to be a boyfriend, or a father… You-”

“You better shut your mouth right fucking now,” Harry said, his hands forming into fists at his side. “You kept my family from me once, and I won’t let you do it again… I will give you two minutes to leave my house before I beat the shit out of you and drag you out.”

Liam kept his eyes on Harry for only a second before looking behind him to Louis, wanting to say something, just anything. “Lou, c’mon, we-”

“Leave,” Louis said, not wanting to hear another word from the younger lad.

Harry saw Liam just stand there, clearly wanting to say something but he couldn’t even look at the older lad without wanting to punch him. So he stared him down, straining himself not to go after Liam and when he finally turned on his heel he waited until the brown eyed lad was fully out of the room before looking to Louis. And it wasn’t even a second later his boyfriend was sobbing into his hands, nearly shaking and looking like he was a second away from collapsing.

Harry quickly wrapped his arms around Louis, carefully leading him over to the couch and sitting him down to relax. But when they sat down it seemed that the older lad only started to cry harder, and Harry knew how hurt he was that Liam had done this to him, that he tried to break them apart.

“I’m sorry love, I’m so sorry,” he whispered to him, rubbing his back and kissing his head.

“H-how could he… He was my best mate, I-I don’t-...”

Harry shushed Louis, needing him to breathe and calm down. He just held the older lad, let him cry and get it out of his system. Harry couldn't even say how furious he was with Liam doing something like this to Louis again, going behind his back and trying to dictate his life. He wasn’t sure what he could do to help Louis other than to just be here for him, to reassure him how much he loves him and that he isn’t going anywhere.

And it may have been another half hour before Louis calmed down enough to stop crying and insist that he clean himself up to rejoin the party. Harry wasn’t sure if he was really okay, there being no doubt in his mind that his boyfriend was beyond hurt over what Liam had done. But if Louis wanted to go back to the party then he was going to follow after the older lad and be a good host.

Of course Louis put on a happy face as the night continued on, but Harry did notice that the more they talked about the twins and all the shopping they had to get up to his boyfriend was starting to enjoy himself again. And just at the fact that Louis was here, Holden was running around, and that there was a little boy and girl on the way to join their family Harry pushed Liam and Sean to the back of his mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts on what Liam had done with trying to break Louis and Harry apart, and bringing Sean back into the picture to replace Harry ? Opinions and thoughts on the chapter in general ? Leave comments, give kudos if you haven't, thanks xx


	19. Chapter 19

“Papa I want this!!”

Harry was startled as felt a hard tug on his arm, letting out a deep breath as Holden had picked up yet another toy. “Buddy no, we said you can only get one thing and you picked out the hat, remember?”

“But papa,” Holden whined, pulling on his father’s hand harder.

“H,” Harry warned, giving the 4 year old a stern look before shaking his head. “Do you not want to get anything at all?”

Holden let out a loud groan as he not so nicely put the toy back on the shelf and crossed his arms over his chest. He saw his papa’s eyes still on him, giving him that “don’t even think about throwing a tantrum” look before he grabbed his hand and began to walk off to find his daddy.

“Papa I was real good all day and you and daddy only shop for babies but I want something too,” Holden grumbled.

“Buddy you do have something, the hat,” Harry reminded him. “If you keep acting like this though you won’t be getting anything, relax.”

Even still though the 4 year old stomped his little feet and continued complaining, and Harry got it, he really did understand. They’ve been shopping for the twins all day and by now Holden must be exhausted. And not only that but Louis has been a hormonal mess since he got up this morning and that was probably confusing Holden as one second his daddy was happy and the next he was annoyed or crying over how delicious his lunch was. But Harry was holding everything in him to not blow up. Louis he understood, he wasn’t mad or frustrated with him all, more so his son who wouldn’t stop whining and begging for every toy, shirt or pair of shoes he saw in every store.

“Alright, that’s it,” Harry said, rubbing a frustrated hand over his face. “We’re not getting the hat. I told you nearly three times to stop whining and you haven’t,” he said, placing the hat on some shelf before walking away.

“What?” Holden froze, tugging his hand out of his papa’s and looking to the hat his father put up too high for him to reach. “But papa!!”

“No buts,” Harry breathed out, looking over the racks of clothes for Louis. But of course he should’ve expected Holden to let out a loud cry not even a second later.

“I-I want it!!” Holden cried, pointing to the hat and stomping his feet.

And all Harry did was let out a deep breath, turn around, scoop up his son and continue walking. He was at least grateful this wasn’t one of Holden’s bad tantrums with kicking and punching and ear shattering sobs. Instead the 4 year just hid his face in his papa’s neck and cried, hiccuping more and more as his father carried him further away from the hat.

“Lou!” Harry called out, now just wanting to leave, not even caring if they got anything from this store. “Louis!”

“Over here.”

Harry furrowed his eyebrows as he heard his muffled boyfriend, almost sounding like he was choked up. He hurried through the racks of baby clothes, scanning the area for the older lad before he found him hunched over on some bench and looking at a tiny baby boy’s outfit.

“Love, you alright?” Harry asked softly, putting Holden down and kneeling in front of Louis.

Louis sniffled to himself as he wiped his wet eyes and picked up his head to look at his boyfriend. “L-look at this… It’s just so cute,” he said, only for more tears to fall as he scanned over the tiny outfit again.

Harry let out an airy laugh as he nodded and rubbed the older lad’s back. “You’re right, it is really cute,” he said, taking the outfit from him. “And you know what’s great? We can even buy it and you can look at it all the time.”

Louis’ eyes went wide before he began to full out cry and nodded. “A-and when the baby comes we-we-”

“We can dress him in it, yeah,” Harry chuckled quietly. “C’mon love, let’s go buy what you picked out and we can go home.”

“O-okay,” Louis said, taking Harry’s offered hand and carefully standing up. “What’s wrong with this one?” he asked, glancing down at Holden who was sniffling to himself.

“Whining, groaning, complaining, ya know, the whole lot,” Harry breathed out. “Told him he couldn’t get his hat if he kept it up and he threw a little tantrum.”

Louis hummed, glancing down at the 4 year old who refused to pick his head up. “Maybe we all just need a nap,” he muttered.

Harry couldn’t agree faster as he gathered all of the clothes Louis had picked out for the twins. At this point he was almost wondering what left they had to buy for them seeing as they did a fair amount of shopping today. Then again Harry actually had no clue what a baby needed besides the obvious necessities. Maybe when they get home he’ll read up on what they’ll need online. But looking at his car full, and then Paul’s car full as well Harry really had thought they picked up the majority of things they needed.

“Love, Niall is gonna meet us at the house alright? He said he’d help me set up the cribs and chairs and everything,” Harry said, helping Louis into the car and making sure he was comfortable.

Louis breathed out an “okay”, more than relieved to be sitting back down. He may only be 7 months along but already he felt like the babies could come any second, he was huge. Harry assured him it was because he just had a small frame and that they were having twins, but every chance Louis got to sit down he was grateful for.

Harry smiled down at his boyfriend, kissing his cheek quickly before heading to his own side of the car and getting in. He glanced in the rear view mirror once he was in, seeing Holden look out the window, and he knew he upset the 4 year old, but he didn’t want him mad at him all day, didn’t want him to think he didn’t care about him.

“Holden,” Harry said quietly, reaching behind him and giving the toddler’s leg a gentle squeeze. “I love you buddy.”

Holden sniffled to himself, reaching for his papa’s hand that was on him and giving it a light squeeze. “Love you too papa.”

Harry was relieved Holden wasn’t still mad at him, and he was even happier to hear the 4 year old say a quiet “sorry” to him.

“Babe can we have fried chicken for dinner?”

“Sure,” Harry shrugged, that being easy enough.

“And mashed potatoes and gravy,” Louis said, earning a quiet laugh and nod from his boyfriend. “And maybe some coleslaw… Pickles would be good in coleslaw wouldn’t it? I mean that sounds kinda good, pickles and mayonnaise.”

“I’ll make whatever you want love,” Harry said, slipping his hand into Louis’ and smiling at him.

“Papa you can make it but I no eat it,” Holden said, sounding disgusted.

“We’ll have a great dinner buddy, don’t worry,” Harry reassure the 4 year old. “Plus Niall will be over so that’ll be fun.”

Holden hummed, whenever the Irish man comes around it’s guaranteed to be a good time. Maybe Niall could even help him forget and ignore all of the weird things his daddy has been eating.

*~*

“Holden dry Addi off before you two run through the house!!” Louis yelled, seeing his son run from outside with a very wet Addi sprinting behind him.

Holden let out a shriek as he felt a pair of arm wrap around him, snatching him up before he could run any further. “Uncle Zayn!!”

“What’re you doing you little devil?”  Zayn laughed, giving the 4 year old a gentle squeeze. “You and Addi ruining the house huh?”

“Maybe,” Holden shrugged, earning a playful pointed look from the older man. “What you doin here anyway?”

“Your pop called me over to finish painting the nursery,” Zayn said through a small smile. “Your brother and sister are gonna be here in just a month and a half so we have to get everything done for them.”

Holden couldn’t help his wide grin as he heard his uncle, not sure how much longer he could wait for his siblings to come. “Well then go help papa cause daddy trying to nap,” he said, putting his little finger to his lips and telling the older man to be quiet.

“You got it buddy,” Zayn said softly, pressing a kiss to his cheek before setting him down. “Why don’t you dry Addi off and go to the playroom, yeah?”

Zayn watched Holden nod quickly before he chased after his snowy and wet dog, not sure if the 4 year old would actually listen to him, but at least he tried. Zayn didn’t worry about it though, instead he made his way up the stairs, looking for the curly haired lad.

“Harry!!”

“In here mate!” Harry called back, opening his bedroom door before pulling a shirt over his head. “Hey! Thank you so much for stopping by.”

“No problem H,” Zayn said happily. “You heading out or something?”

“Yeah, I have an interview,” Harry huffed. “I should be back in like 3 hours though, and then I can help you with whatever you need.”

Zayn nodded before heading towards the nursery and taking a peek inside. “By the time you get back I should probably be done. And I see you and Niall got a good amount of work in setting everything up, but when you get back hopefully you and I can finish it.”

“Sounds perfect,” Harry said, grabbing his messenger bag and slinging it over his shoulder. “See ya when I get back, thanks again,” he said, patting the older lad on the back before hopping down the stairs.

Harry went in search for Holden, making sure to hug the 4 year old extra tight and give him too many kisses to count before finally letting him go and saying his goodbyes. Next he was in search of Louis, easily finding him snoring away on the couch, his mouth hung open and hand placed over his very round belly.

“Love,” he said gently, carefully brushing his fingers through the older lad’s hair. “Louis I have to get going.”

Harry heard the older lad let out a small breath, but he didn’t expect him to reach his hand behind his head and pull him down for a kiss. He laughed against Louis, trying to pull away, but his boyfriend just held him and kept trying to kiss him.

“Louis, love,” he chuckled, getting out of his grip. “I have to go, I’ll-”

“Harry,” Louis whined, pulling the younger lad down again and making their lips meet. “Real quick, before you go, please?” he almost begged.

Harry looked at his boyfriend wide eyed before letting out a loud laugh. “Babe we don’t have time to do anything right now, I really have to go,” he said a bit sadly. “When I get back I’ll make it up to you, promise. I’ll take you right up to our bedroom and we can do whatever you want.”

Louis groaned at hearing that, wanting to do that now but instead he just got another laugh out of the younger lad. “Well hurry back then.”

Harry nodded, pecking Louis’ lips one last time before running his fingers through his hair and getting up. He really didn’t want to leave the older lad, he would much rather help him out with his little situation, but Harry knew he had to go to this interview. He’s been keeping a pretty low profile ever since he got back from the tour and with the due date of the babies coming closer and closer the media was aching for something from them. 

So Harry made his way through the snowy London streets, trying to ignore the January cold as he walked into the television studio and immediately met Clara at the door. “You’re a lifesaver, my God,” he breathed out, quickly accepting the hot tea she was passing him.

“I know,” Clara laughed, taking Harry’s bag and coat from him. “So this is gonna be real simple, alright? You’ll sit down with Mike, he’ll ask a few questions about you, the family, what you did over the holidays, basically just catching up,” she said easily. “The only thing that’ll be different is you telling him about the twins, ya know, having a boy and girl, there of course will be some excitement over that but once that part is over you’ll perform and we’re out of here.”

Harry nodded, taking a sip of his tea and following Clara to his dressing room before he let the makeup artist take over. “We have a setlist?”

Clara passed him a piece of paper and Harry couldn’t even say how grateful he was to her for getting all of this together for him. Making sure he had his instruments and everything was set up so he didn’t have to do anything.

Harry was more than happy to just sit and let the makeup and hair artist do their job, almost nodding off to sleep a few times but fingers brushing through his hair or something getting put on his face quickly woke him up. He could hear Clara laughing at him, but she knew just how tired he was from watching over Holden and Louis, and on top of that getting everything ready for the babies to come.

“You want another tea for when you come off?” Clara asked as she watched Harry get his microphone get put on.

“We might have to go straight to coffee,” Harry laughed before waving to the interviewer.

He made sure to give Clara a grateful smile before he walked over to take his seat in front of the camera, immediately sinking into his chair and getting comfortable.

“Hey Harry, good to see you,” Mike said happily, shaking the younger lad’s hand.

“You too mate,” Harry said politely back, noticing all the cameras and lights getting set up before they start.

But when Clara came up to him and gave him a steaming cup of coffee Harry nearly groaned just at the sight of it. He didn’t care if she and Mike started laughing, he desperately needed this. And when the crew said they were ready to start Harry had nearly finished the drink but made sure to chug the last bit of it and thank Clara a million times.

“Alright Harry, you ready?”

Harry nodded at the crew, hearing the director countdown from five before Mike gave him a very happy welcome. It was always the same in the beginning, asking how he is, talking about his music, if he’s working on anything now, writing for someone else, or thinking about collaborating with anyone. But it quickly turned to him and Louis expecting a baby, and just at the thought Harry couldn’t help his wide smile.

“Louis and I really couldn’t be any more excited, Holden too,” he said, happiness nearly gushing out of him. “We’re doing the last bit of the nursery today, we have the cutest little clothes, I can hardly wait,” Harry said, feeling his face almost split from how much he was smiling.

Mike let out a small laugh at hearing the younger lad, it being clear just how excited he was. “Well Harry I don’t know if you and Louis want to keep this a secret but we’re all dying to hear what you two will be having.”

Harry bit his lip, holding back his grin as he thought about the twins. “Uhm no we weren’t planning on keeping it a secret. We already told all of our family and friends, and let me tell you, when they found out they all freaked out. I don’t think I’ve ever been crushed in so many hugs,” he chuckled.

“Well come on then! Don’t leave us in the dark!!”

Harry laughed a bit, running his fingers through his hair before looking back to Mike. “So uhm, Louis and I, we’re uh, we’re actually having twins… It’s a boy and a girl,” he said happily, feeling his cheeks heat up at the shocked face the older man was giving him.

“What?!” Mike yelped. “Harry that’s incredible! Congrats mate!!” he said, shaking his hand, having to nearly stop himself from hugging the younger lad.

“Thank you,” Harry said sheepishly. “And we actually already have names picked out, but we’re keeping those a secret,” he said, sending a wink to Mike and making him groan.

“Well I guess a month and a half isn’t too long to wait to find out,” Mike huffed.

Harry shrugged, knowing his mates and family have been badgering him and Louis about what names they picked out, but the two were determined not to tell anyone until the babies were born. He had no problem talking to Mike about everything else having to do with the babies though, and like he normally does got carried away and went on and on until the older man had to actually stop him so they could talk about something else.

Mike had asked them about their holidays, and Harry was more than happy to tell him all about Louis’ birthday, their Christmas and New Years spent with all of their family and friends. Anne, Robin, Gemma and Charlie had come down and stayed with them from Christmas Eve to the day after New Years, and by the end of it Harry could say that he spent more than enough time with his family. But he knew they were all going to be coming right back to stay with them for when the twins are born, but he didn’t think the extra hands would be so bad.

For right now at least he was happy to talk about his family and the holidays, also knowing his fans were probably dying to know what he’s been up to. He’s posted pictures and videos of them but Harry knew fans always loved interviews. And luckily his time with Mike wasn’t all that long, the older lad just asking a few more questions before they said their goodbyes and he performed his songs. As much as Harry loved interviews he wanted to be home with Louis and finally finish the nursery.

*~*

Harry scrunched up his face, just barely picking his head off the pillow as he heard Louis groaning next to him. He could see the older lad still sleeping but it was clear he was uncomfortable or in pain and that was one thing Harry absolutely hated.

He gently pushed the covers back, revealing Louis’ large stomach before gently rubbing his hand over his skin. Harry remembers the first time he felt one of the twins kick, his heart had nearly stopped and he may have shed a few tears, but now it seemed to be constant kicking from one of them. And he knew right now it was his little girl that was giving her daddy trouble, her being on the left side and Harry could feel her tiny movements.

“You gotta go to sleep love,” he whispered, leaning in closer to Louis’ belly and kissing it softly. “Let daddy rest, okay? I know you’re excited to come out, but we just have to wait a little longer.”

Harry loved how when he talked to the twins they would almost immediately calm down at his voice. He didn’t notice at first, but Louis tells him that whenever they hear him talk they don’t move around as much and relax, so now Harry talks to them all the time. And it wasn’t any different tonight as he talked to his babygirl and ran his hand up and down his boyfriend’s stomach, immediately soothing his daughter and Louis.

“If your brother takes up too much room just give him a kick alright? I’m sure he’ll move right over,” Harry laughed quietly, pressing another kiss to Louis’ belly. “Goodnight sweet girl, I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Harry picked his head up, a smile immediately making it’s way to his face as he saw Louis grinning back down at him. “Sorry, did I wake you up?” he asked quietly, crawling back up to his boyfriend and running a hand over his stomach.

“No but your daughter did,” Louis chuckled, pulling the younger lad down and connecting their lips gently.

“She’s a late night thinker like her pop,” Harry said, his smile growing as he looked back down to Louis’ belly.

“Yeah you won’t be so happy about that when she’s crying at 3am,” Louis said, making the younger lad hum. “And then her brother will wake up, making me have to get up with you and then I’ll be mad at you for this whole late night thinking thing,” he teased.

“We’ll be fine I’m sure,” Harry rolled his eyes playfully, dipping his head and kissing the older lad. “But right now we both need some sleep. Do you want anything though? Are you hungry, or I can make you some tea,” he offered.

“No thank you love, I’m fine,” Louis laughed quietly, shifting on his back, trying to get comfortable.

Harry breathed out an “okay”, pecking his boyfriend’s lips one last time before laying down and keeping his hand on his stomach, more than ready if one of the twins starts acting up again. He was at least happy that for right now they were calm so Louis could sleep, and if the older lad was relaxed then so was Harry.

*~*

He could hear his feet echoing in the hallway as he ran, his breaths coming out ragged the faster and faster he went. But as soon as Harry got to Louis’ classroom he didn’t waste a second before crashing through the door, seeing Niall standing in front of Louis and rushing towards the older lad.

“Louis, love what’s wrong?” he asked quickly, kneeling in front of his boyfriend and taking his hands away from his face. “Are you in pain, are you okay?”

“Mate I dunno what happened,” Niall said, rubbing the blue eyed lad’s back. “I guess he started crying in the middle of class and one of his students got me, but he didn’t stop crying so I dismissed them and called you.”

“Louis I need you to tell me what’s wrong,” Harry said, growing more and more worried that he was hurt or the babies were coming.

“I-I’m sorry, I’m okay,” Louis hiccuped, wiping his wet eyes and trying to even his breathing.

Harry pulled the older lad into his chest, kissing him and just wanting him to relax. “Niall it’s okay, just give us a few.”

He saw the Irish lad nod at him and give Louis a tight lined smile before leaving the room, but as soon as the door was shut the older lad only started to cry again.

“Love please tell me what’s wrong.”

“I-I’m emotional a-and fat a-and I love you. I-I-...”

Harry shushed his boyfriend, figuring his hormones just started raging and something tipped him over the edge. “Did something happen love? Why did you start crying?”

“Cause my students they-they were being so nice cause i-it’s my last before I go on leave, look,” Louis said, pointing to all of the cards and presents his students got him, and even some things for the twins. “B-but when they were taking their test I was looking through files on my computer and I found this and I-I-,” he cut himself off, glancing back at the screen and crying into his hands.

Harry furrowed his eyebrows as he looked towards the older lad’s computer, seeing some video pulled up. He glanced back towards Louis, not sure how a video could make him cry but maybe it was about babies or cute kittens or something and his boyfriend was just emotional about their adorableness. But when Harry restarted the video and pushed play his own breath hitched at seeing what it was.  **[(X)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vl7spqkXgpY)**

“Where did you find this?” he barely whispered, keeping his eyes locked on the screen.

Louis shrugged, not even able to talk as he heard and saw the video all over again. “I-it was just on my computer, I don’t know.”

Harry couldn’t help the small smile that came to him as he saw the video. Him and Louis in Uni all those years ago with their choir group, but he remembered this, just them singing this duet.

“Look at us,” Louis breathed out, allowing a few more tears to run down his cheeks.

Just at glancing at the computer and the camera focused on the two of them anyone could see how in love they were, how they had the whole world in their hands. Louis almost missed those days, when everything was so simple and Harry wasn’t famous, when the only thing they ever had to worry about was what was for dinner or who was buying the groceries that week. But now their worlds were completely different, they were different, and Louis doesn’t think he would change where he was or what he had right now for the world.

“I love you.”

Harry looked at the older lad, a small smile creeping onto his lips before he leaned forward, kissing Louis softly and just barely pulling away. “I love you too.”

“I’m sorry Niall had to call you and you came all the way down here,” Louis said, biting his lip and looking down to his hands. “I’m sure you were busy and this was just a waste of time.”

“It’s never a waste of time if it’s about you,” Harry laughed quietly. “I was terrified though, I thought you were going into labor or something with the way Niall sounded on the phone.”

“No, we still have another month,” Louis said, grinning to himself as he ran a hand over his large belly.

Harry’s smile only widened as he nodded and placed his hand over Louis’. “Do you want to come home with me or do you want to finish the rest of your classes?”

“I want to finish, it is my last day after all. And I’m sorry again you had to come down here,” Louis huffed, wiping his stinging yes.

“It’s fine love, really,” Harry reassured him. “I was doing some songwriting and the baby proofing guy is coming over to the house in a little bit.”

Louis breathed out a quiet “okay” still feeling bad but he was a bit grateful Harry came to the school to calm him down. And he was even more grateful when the younger lad stayed until his next class started, asking again if he was okay or if he needed anything. Louis had to almost beg Harry to go so he could meet the baby proofer guy at the house but finally the younger lad left, leaving Louis to his final day of teaching.

*~*

Harry looked around the [nursery](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/43/d5/d1/43d5d1b576e0ba3ebbf5d51fd5eb9eba.jpg), double checking that everything was set up and in it’s place. It was such a relief to finally be done with the room, all the twins’ clothes folded and put away, their cribs set up and the room beautifully painted.

Just at looking around the room Harry could feel his nerves picking up. It was no lie that he was mildly terrified for when the babies actually came and there would be two little humans he had to look after. Harry could be as prepared as possible, already having carriers ready in the car and diapers at the changing table, but still he felt like he would mess up. 

Louis assured him he was going to learn on the job, that he was already a great father and that the babies would love him just like Holden does, how he does. Harry still had his doubts though, he was scared to say the least.

“Papa!! What’s on the toilet?! It won’t open and I have to pee!!”

“Buddy go to the bathroom in your room!” Harry yelled back, knowing his room didn’t have any of the baby proof things in there. “I’ll show you how to open it later, just use your toilet for now!”

He could hear his son groaning before he sprinted down the hall to his room, but Harry really didn’t want to fiddle with the toilet right now. Louis has been complaining about all the baby proof stuff around the house for nearly two weeks now, but they just had to get used to it. Harry wasn’t taking any chances with his two little babies getting hurt.

“Papa I’m done peeing!”

“Oh good,” Harry rolled his eyes fondly, making his way out of the nursery and closing the door behind him.

“I forget something!!” Holden said, crashing into his father, making Addi run circles around them. “Daddy want me to tell you he hurt. He like groaning and holding his belly, I dunno what wrong,” he shrugged.

Harry furrowed his eyebrows, his heart dropping into his stomach as he heard the 4 year old. “When did he tell you this?” he asked quickly, rushing towards the stairs and nearly running down them.

“Before I go pee,” Holden said, trying to keep up with his papa.

“Louis!!” Harry called out, running to where the older lad was resting on the couch. “Love what’s wrong? Holden said you were hurt, what happened?” he asked frantically, kneeling in front of his boyfriend, seeing his eyes squeezed shut and watching as deep breaths escaped him.

“W-we need to go,” Louis barely said, reaching for Harry’s hand and squeezing it tightly. “It’s happening, they’re coming.”

Harry’s breathing stopped as he heard his boyfriend, felt himself freeze and his eyes go wide.

“Harry, love, please,” Louis said, trying to sit up but couldn’t do it on his own.

“Okay, yeah, okay,” Harry rushed out, his thoughts running a mile a minute as he helped the older lad sit up on the couch. “Wait shit! We don’t have a bag, we need a bag, and my mum, I have to call my mum!! Louis what do we do?! What do I do?!” he asked panicked.

“Get me to the hospital,” Louis said through gritted teeth, trying to bite back the pain. “We’ll have Zayn or Niall get us a bag but right now we need to go, we need to hurry.”

Harry opened and closed his mouth, feeling like he couldn’t move as he realized what was happening.

“Papa! Daddy hurt, come on!!” Holden said, tugging on his father’s arm to get him to move.

Harry felt like he snapped out of a daze as he quickly nodded and carefully helped Louis stand up. His heart was racing, palms sweating and breathing shallow, but that was nothing compared to how Louis was feeling and Harry could see that.

He told Holden to get his shoes and coat on, hurrying to do the same and help his boyfriend as quickly and carefully as possible. Harry had to shoo Addi away a few times so they could actually get out the door, but with every step they took towards the car his nerves only got worse.

“You okay, you comfortable?” Harry asked, making sure Louis was secure and buckled in the car.

“As comfortable as I can be,” Louis breathed out, rubbing his hands over his round belly, trying to calm down.

“Yeah, right,” Harry nodded to himself before rushing to his side of the car, checking that Holden was in his car seat and speeding out of the driveway.

As soon as he was steadily flooring it to the hospital he offered Louis his hand, the older lad immediately taking it and squeezing it harshly. Harry could handle that, he was grateful that his boyfriend wasn’t screaming at him or was threatening him, whatever it was Niall told him that pregnant people do when they’re in labor.

“Daddy don’t forget to breathe, breathing very important,” Holden said, reaching forward and patting his daddy’s shoulder.

Louis let out an airy breath as he reached for his phone in his pocket and offered the 4 year old a soft smile. “Thanks buddy.”

“And here I call nana, you rest,” Holden said, making grabby hands for his father’s phone as he heard him tell his papa he was going to call the family and their mates.

“H I got it, thank you big guy,” Harry said, a small laugh escaping him as he tried to push away his nerves and gather himself to talk on the phone.

He knew he was shaking as he held Louis’ phone to his ear and started calling everyone rapidly. Harry was just happy that Louis didn’t seem to be in too much pain, at least he didn’t show it. That didn’t stop him from breaking almost every traffic law to get to the hospital though, needing Louis to get comfortable, hating that he was in any kind of pain.

“Are they coming?” Louis asked through a deep breath, trying to calm his racing heart.

“Everyone’s on their way, Zayn is grabbing a bag for us all, it’s okay, we’ll be okay,” Harry said, kissing Louis’ hand, trying to relax himself. “Wait who’s gonna watch H when we get there? Can he be in the room with us?”

“Uncle Liam!!”

Louis glanced back at the 4 year old before shifting his gaze to Harry, the younger lad’s jaw immediately clenching just at his name. He hasn’t seen or talked to Liam since the party, that being just about 4 months ago and Louis had no plans to ever talk to him again after what he tried to do. 

“No buddy, I’m sure Ed and Niall will be there quick enough and they’ll watch you,” he said, knowing Harry’s family will take hours to get to them and Zayn was getting things from their house.

Holden let out a huff but nodded anyway, there being no point in arguing with his daddy but he also didn’t want to make him upset. He knew his siblings were coming and his papa told him that when this happens his daddy is going to be hurting a little bit so they couldn’t make him upset. So when his father pulled into the hospital parking lot Holden was good and patient, listening to everything his papa told him as they slowly and carefully made their way inside the building.

“Someone help, please!” Harry called out as soon as they were inside, Louis gripping his hand for dear life as he tried to steady the older lad.

“Harry, here!” Heather said quickly, bringing over a wheelchair and helping Louis into it.

“Heather thank God,” Harry said gratefully, more than happy that she beat them here after he called her. “Is this okay that they’re coming now? I mean they’re like two weeks early, are they alright?” he asked worriedly, scooping Holden up and rushing after the doctor down the hall.

“Trust me, it’s perfectly fine, Louis and the twins will be alright,” she assured him. “We’re going to run a few tests, get Louis comfortable and give him some medicine, and see if we can get an operating room in a few hours, alright?”

“Few hours?” Harry asked wide eyed. “No, no, he’s in pain now, isn’t there anything we can do?”

“That’s what the medicine is for love, it’s okay,” Louis said shakily, offering his boyfriend a small smile.

Harry opened his mouth, that making a lot of sense before he nodded to himself. “Okay, sorry, you’re right,” he said, desperately needing to calm down.

He had to be here for Louis, he had to be his rock and right now he was failing miserably.

“Alright Louis we’re going to get you changed, hook you up to a few machines and I’ll be right back to check on the twins, okay?”

Louis nodded at Heather, sending a grateful smile before taking a seat on the bed and accepting the gown the nurse was passing him.

“Daddy you have to put on a dress?!” Holden shrieked, letting out a booming laugh.

Louis side eyed his son, shaking his head at him and carefully wobbling over to the bathroom with the help of his boyfriend.

“Right out here if you need me love,” Harry said, kissing Louis’ temple before he let him go change.

“Mr.Styles if we could get you to fill these out that would be great,” a nurse said, passing the younger lad a clipboard with papers on it. “And how many minutes apart are his-”

“15 minutes last I checked,” Harry said quickly, wanting to help the nurse so she could help Louis as soon as possible. “Is there anything else you need to know? He’s not allergic to any medication and the only other surgeries he’s had was the c-section for our son, his tonsils getting taken out and his appendix but that’s it, that’s okay right? I mean none of that effects-”

“Love, it’s okay,” the nurse laughed. “Just fill this out and we’ll take care of him.”

“Yeah, geez papa,” Holden said, shaking his head at his father as he claimed a chair next to the bed.

Harry let out a few deep breaths, thinking that he must sound and look like a crazy person right now but he couldn’t help it. He wasn’t there for Louis when Holden was born, and now that he was here he wanted to do everything right, he couldn’t let his boyfriend down. 

So as soon as Louis came out of the bathroom changed Harry didn’t waste a second before helping him get in the bed, making sure he was as comfortable as he could get before the nurse started to get to work on him.

“Do you need anything love? Are you hungry? I know we didn’t have time for lunch so I can get you something,” Harry said, combing his fingers through his boyfriend’s sweaty hair.

“Eating is the last thing on my mind right now,” Louis breathed out, hoping this medicine would kick in soon. “Get something for you and H though, I’m sure he’s starved.”

Harry said a quiet “okay” seeing as Louis was a second away from passing out.

He didn’t want to leave the older lad but Louis, the nurse and even Heather assured him that the babies wouldn’t be coming for a little while. They had a c-section scheduled for tonight but Harry wanted to stay where he was. His boyfriend nearly begged him to go though, saying he was just going to nap and they could grab some food and he didn’t want Holden to be cooped up in the room for too long, so Harry eventually agreed to go.

“C’mon buddy, get your coat on, it’s cold outside,” Harry said, opening the door, ready to leave. 

But it wasn’t even a second later he looked up, his eyes meeting a pair of brown ones before his face went hard.

Harry closed the door behind him, stepping into the hallway and getting dangerously close to the older lad. “Don’t even think about stepping foot into that room.”

“And if I do?” Liam asked with raised eyebrows, crossing his arms over his scrubs.

“Then I’ll beat the living shit out of you,” Harry said simply, his hands forming into fists at his sides. “Get it through that thick fucking skull of yours, Louis wants nothing to do with you… You crushed him and I’m not going to stand by and let it happen again.”

“Are you sure it’s Louis and not you who wants nothing to do with me? Because I don’t believe for one second that you have nothing to do with him not wanting to talk to me.”

Harry looked at the older lad like he had gone mad before shaking his head and running his hands over his face frustratedly. “It’s Louis’ decision who he does and doesn’t talk to, and guess what, he’s done with you so leave him the hell alone. And if I see you outside this room again I’ll have no problem calling security or throwing you out myself.”

He didn’t let Liam say another word before he turned on his heel and walked back into the room, stopping Holden as he saw him putting his coat on.

“What’s wrong? Why aren’t you going?” Louis asked tiredly.

Harry walked over to his boyfriend, leaning down so he could whisper to him what had happened. And all Louis did was nod at him, saying a quiet “thank you” before glancing towards the door.

“Can we uhm, can we get Paul or someone to stand outside the door?” Louis asked quietly. “I don’t want him or Sean to have any chance to get in here.”

“Of course love,” Harry kissed his head, already pulling out his phone to text his bodyguard to come.

He knew how hurt Louis was from what Liam had done, well what he tried to do. Even weeks after the party the older lad would cry, would lock himself in the bathroom and try to understand why Liam would do such a thing to him, to their family. And Harry hated that the older lad had hurt Louis so much, that his supposed best friend would do something like that to him. To this day Louis was hurt over it, Liam was his mate since they were kids and the amount of betrayal the blue eyed lad went through was too much for him to forgive Liam this time. He couldn’t do it anymore, he couldn’t be his friend. And Harry was going to do everything in his power to keep Liam away from Louis so he wouldn’t get hurt again.

*~*

“We’re here, we’re here, it’s okay!!”

Harry picked his head up as he heard his mum yelling and saw his family crash into the room. 

“How’re you feeling love? We tried to get here as quickly as possible,” Anne said, shoving Harry out of the way so she could talk to Louis.

“M’good,” Louis breathed out. “Your son has been more than helpful,” he said, sending a small smile to his boyfriend. “It won’t be long until the little ones will be joining us.”

“I can’t wait!” Gemma squealed, squeezing Charlie’s arm just a bit too tightly. “Zayn was able to get a bag right? And Niall, is he here?”

“They’re both here, and Zayn brought a bag, they’re just getting food with Holden,” Harry informed her, going over to Louis’ other side and taking his hand.

He hated how they’ve been waiting for hours, that Louis was still in some pain and every few minutes he would squeeze his hand so tight he almost lost circulation. But Harry kept thinking that it wouldn’t be much longer until they twins would be with them, that Louis wouldn’t be in any pain and their babies would finally be with them.

“Guys what’s up with the small army you have outside?”

Harry rolled his eyes as Ed came into the room, waving and saying a quiet “hello” to everyone before he walked over to Louis.

“It’s just Paul and another bodyguard, we were having some problems with Liam earlier,” Harry said quietly, making everyone in the room look at him concerned.

“What the hell is he doing here?” Charlie asked with a touch of anger in his voice.

“He works here,” Louis muttered. “But please, I just want to forget about him, let’s just focus on the two little people that’ll be joining us soon,” he said, offering everyone a small smile.

“How is he the only sane one in the room?” Ed chuckled, the tension defusing just a bit.

“He’s doped up on drugs, don’t listen to him,” Harry said jokingly, making his boyfriend eye him playfully.

“Oh, hello everyone,” Heather said as she saw the full room. “Louis, how’re you feeling? Those drugs working?”

“Apparently they’re working really well,” Robin teased, earning a slight slap in the arm from Anne.

Louis rolled his eyes, knowing the drugs weren’t doing anything major to him besides taking away some pain. “I’m just ready to get these two out of here,” he said, running his free hand over his large belly.

“They’re setting up the room for you now,” Heather said softly. “If you all don’t mind I’m going to get him ready. There is a waiting area just down the hall and as soon as we’re done I’ll get you.”

Harry could see how nervous his family was, and even Ed was trying his best to calm down but him and Louis made sure to give them all hugs before they left the room, wishing them good luck. And it wasn’t even two minutes later Holden crashed into the room with Niall trailing behind him, needing to give his daddies hugs and kisses as well before saying he couldn’t wait for his siblings to come and finally leaving the room after Zayn and Niall had to drag him out to leave the two with the doctor.

“You ready love?” Harry asked, offering his boyfriend a soft smile as he ran his fingers through his hair.

Louis hummed, trying to calm his pounding heart as he squeezed Harry’s hand. None of this felt real. It seems like he’s been waiting forever for this moment, but here they were. Harry was in scrubs, Heather and a few nurses were pushing him down the hall and in no time he would be holding their babies. And the best part about it all was having Harry next to him. To feel the younger lad’s hand in his, to hear his voice and know that he was there for him.

“Alright, we ready boys?” Heather asked once they were settled in the operating room.

Harry let out a deep breath, his heart beating a thousand miles a minute and his thoughts racing but he couldn’t be more ready to finally meet his babies. He held Louis’ hand tightly, kissing his head and smiling down at him as he realized what was happening.

“I’m so happy you’re here,” Louis barely whispered, letting his eyes fall shut as he felt Heather getting started.

Harry bit his lip as he heard the older lad, almost feeling tears well in his eyes as he nodded and kissed his boyfriend over and over again. “I love you, I love you so much.”

Louis laughed quietly, squeezing Harry’s hand and nodding at him. “I love you too.”

Harry cupped Louis’ cheek, rubbing his thumb over his skin and trying not to cry as he saw where he was, what was happening. They’ve been waiting for this moment for so long and now that it was here Harry couldn’t contain himself. The babies weren’t even born yet and already he was crying as he whispered to Louis how good he was doing, how he was right there with him every step of the way. But when he felt the older lad squeeze his hand tightly and heard that first wailing cry echo through the room Harry couldn’t hold anymore tears back.

He broke down at hearing the baby’s cry, resting his head on Louis’ chest and letting it all out.

“Baby boy, 5.3lbs, born at 7:53pm.”

“Alright, let’s get this little girl out,” Heather said, smiling from behind her mask as she heard the nurse.

“Love,” Louis choked out, his own tears escaping him as he saw Harry. “Can you see him?”

Harry picked his head up, wiping his wet eyes to get a clear view of their son but as soon as he saw him across the room he only started to cry more. “He’s beautiful Lou, you’re doing so good,” he said, kissing his boyfriend’s sweaty head.

Louis let out an airy laugh, covering his mouth with his free hand as he glanced over at their baby boy. But before he could say anything he felt some pressure, squeezing Harry’s hand tightly and gritting his teeth just as a second loud cry was heard in the room.

“Baby girl, 5lbs, born at 8:02pm.”

“Oh, there she is,” Harry breathed out, sneaking a glance at his little girl and biting his lip to keep himself somewhat composed. “I’m so proud of you love, you did amazing,” he said, leaning down and kissing Louis gently.

Louis hiccuped to himself, nodding and smiling at his boyfriend as he looked at him through glassy eyes. He couldn’t even start crying again before Heather came up to them, holding a little bundle wrapped in blue and gently placing their baby boy in Louis’ arms.

“Oh look at him,” Harry said, helping Louis cradle their son before taking a few pictures of them with his phone. 

“Harry.”

He perked his head up, seeing Heather carrying and offering him his little girl and Harry froze as he looked at his baby.

“It’s okay love, take her,” Louis laughed quietly, seeing his boyfriend hesitate. 

Harry swallowed thickly, nodding slowly before carefully reaching for his daughter and shifting her gently in his arms. And as he looked down at her he only felt more tears gather in his eyes. She had Louis’ little button nose and even with a quick glance Harry could see how identical the twins were. They had the smallest amount of hair on their little heads, the same color as Louis’ as well and Harry only wondered how much they would look like their daddy.

“Hey little girl,” Harry said softly, smiling down at his daughter and kissing her forehead gently. “I’m your papa.” 

“How’re you feeling love?”

Harry looked to Louis with a watery smile and laughed to himself as he saw the older lad filming him. “I feel like the luckiest man in the world,” he barely whispered, looking between his newborn babies and boyfriend. “Already such a handsome man,” Harry said leaning forward and gently kissing his son before pecking Louis’ lips.

“Just like his pop,” Louis said quietly, looking to his daughter and almost tearing up again at how beautiful she was.

“Boys I’m sorry but we have to take them just for a second to do some tests,” Heather said, earning a nod from both of them. “It won’t take long, they’ll meet you in your room, okay?”

The two nodded at her, carefully handing back the twins to nurses before looking back to each other and letting out airy laughs. They couldn’t believe it, that the twins were actually here and they were so so beautiful.

“My God I love you,” Harry said, pressing his lips to Louis’ and feeling the older lad smiling against him. “How are you? You feeling alright?”

“I feel amazing,” Louis chuckled, leaning into Harry’s touch as he combed his fingers through his sweaty hair. “I’m so happy.”

Harry grinned down at his boyfriend as he saw his eyes fall shut and squeeze his hand gently. He could see Heather stitching Louis back up and already he couldn’t wait to have the twins back in their arms. And luckily it was only 15 minutes lates the pair was back in their hospital room, Harry nearly bouncing as he saw Heather bring the twins back into the room.

“Everything okay with them?” Louis asked as he carefully balanced his babygirl in his arms, a wide smile immediately making it’s way to his face as he saw her stretch and yawn.

“They’re both perfect, healthy little babies,” Heather said happily, a fond grin reaching her as she saw the pair with their kids. “I can go get your family if you’d like.”

“Please,” Louis said quietly, keeping his eyes on his daughter as he nodded.

He couldn’t wait for Holden to finally meet his siblings, for everyone to actually get a glimpse of them. Already seeing Harry with them Louis almost felt his heart swell. The younger lad looked at the twins with so much love, with tears in eyes like he had never seen anything or anyone so beautiful. He looked at them like they weren’t real, like all of this was too good to be true, but sure enough they were here with them.

“Papa? Daddy?”

The two looked up from the babies in their arms, warm smiles making their way to them as they saw their family quietly and carefully shuffling into the room.

“Is that my brother?” Holden asked softly, walking in front of his papa and looking at the tiny baby in his arms.

“Yeah buddy, this is your brother,” Harry said his grin only widening as he saw his two sons finally together. “Daddy has your sister if you want to see her.”

Holden bit back his own smile as he nodded at his papa and walked over to his daddy’s bed to look at his sister. But as soon as he saw her he gasped, placing a little hand over his mouth. “She’s so pretty,” he barely whispered, carefully climbing on the bed to get a better look at her.

It was hard for everyone in the room not to laugh as they heard the 4 year old, but even they were struck as they looked between the twins.

“What did you guys name them?” Gemma asked quietly, looking over her brother’s shoulder at her baby nephew.

“I have Riley Anne Tomlinson-Styles,” Louis said softly, kissing his daughter’s little nose and letting her grip his finger with her tiny hand.

“And I have Bennett William Tomlinson-Styles,” Harry said, if possible his smile widening as he saw his mum near tears.

“Riley and Benji, I like it,” Holden giggled as he nodded to himself. “But why they Tomlinson-Styles?” he asked confused.

“You know papa’s last name is Styles so we put our last names together,” Louis explained.

Holden said a quiet “oh” as he looked between his papa and daddy and bit his lip.

“Mum wanna take him for a second?” Harry asked quietly, a small laugh escaping him as he saw his mum nod eagerly and take her grandson from him. 

He gave Louis a knowing look, earning a smile from the older lad as he nodded at him. So Harry went over to his bag, pulling out a piece of paper before he went over to Holden and sat next to him on the bed.

“So H, your daddy and I had an idea when we were picking out your brother’s and sister’s names and we want to talk to you about it,” he said softly, the 4 year old looking at him a bit confused. “Would you like to be a Tomlinson-Styles too?”

Holden let his jaw fall open as he glanced over at his daddy and saw him smiling at him. But when he looked back to his papa he had to wipe his wet eyes with his little hand, nodding at him and saying a quiet “I want that a lot”.

“Yeah?” Harry asked through a small laugh, wiping away his son’s tears that fell onto his cheeks. “Well here buddy,” he said, passing the 4 year old the paper he had. “This says you’re a Tomlinson-Styles now too.”

Holden looked at the piece of paper, having no clue that it said his name had been legally changed before he lunged at his papa and hugged him with everything he had.

Harry almost lost his breath as Holden crashed into him, but that didn’t stop him from squeezing his son back and kissing his head. “I love you buddy.”

“Love you too,” Holden hiccuped out, kissing his papa’s cheek and keeping his arms wrapped tightly around his neck.

Harry held the 4 year old as long as he would let him, rubbing his back and wiping away his tears before Holden let him go, wanting to hold his baby siblings as he saw his family passing them around.

“So when’re we gonna make you a Tomlinson-Styles, hm?”

Louis felt his face heat up as he heard his boyfriend, keeping his eyes on the twins as Niall and Charlie held them, unable to look at the younger lad. “I uhm, I don’t know.”

Harry laughed to himself as he kissed Louis’ temple, only imagining the day he can put a ring on the older lad’s finger and finally say he could be his for forever. But right now he was more than happy to have Bennett and Riley with them, and see Holden looking at his siblings like they were the most precious things in the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bennett and Riley are born !! Thoughts on the chapter ? Leave comments, share opinions, thanks xx


	20. Chapter 20

Harry’s eyes shot open as he heard a wailing cry come over the baby monitor, immediately startling him awake. He could see Louis shift in bed as well, almost about to get up before Harry gently tugged him back down.

“Stop, I got’em. You’re still on bedrest.”

“Oh yeah? Says who?” Louis mumbled sleepily as he felt the younger lad kiss his head.

“Says Dr.Harry, now go back to sleep, it’s okay,” he said, a small laugh coming from him as he saw Louis roll his eyes before snuggling right back into the covers.

They brought the twins home today after spending three days in the hospital, and it was such a relief to Harry to finally be back in his own bed. Even if he was getting up at 4 something in the morning to try to calm his screeching newborn, he didn’t mind at all. Harry didn’t think he’d be saying that in another week when he’s completely sleep deprived and covered in spit up and poop, but at least for right now the babies were cute no matter what they were doing.

“Oh I should’ve known it was you crying up a storm,” Harry whispered, reaching into Riley’s crib and settling her against his chest. “C’mon love, let’s not wake your brother.”

He rubbed his daughter’s back and bounced her gently as he peered into Bennett’s crib, having no clue how the newborn was still sleeping, but he was grateful only one of them woke up. And Harry intended to keep it that way and make his life easier as he headed into the hall, trying to calm Riley along the way.

He had read every book he could get his hands on about babies, ranging from nutrition to what their different cries mean, and Harry thought those would help, that maybe he wouldn’t be so helpless during times like this.

The first time one of the babies cried it was Bennett and Harry was at a complete loss of what to do. He didn’t know if he should pick up the newborn, whisper something to him, feed him, or change him and it was immediate he became panicked. Luckily Louis was there of course and even if the older lad was laughing at him Harry listened to what he said and managed to soothe his son and even feed him for the first time. And by now Harry liked to believe he somewhat knew what he was doing when it came to the twins and how to stop their cries. Well, maybe he couldn’t say that considering Riley was still crying.

“C’mon love, give pop a little break,” Harry whispered to her as he walked up and down the hall, needing her wailing to stop. “Are you hungry, did you poop?” he asked, lifting the newborns little bum up and smelling her.

But of course as soon as he did that Harry nearly gagged, his question easily being answered. His kids were only four days old, he didn’t understand how such cute and little people can make such awful, horrible smelling messes.

To make it worse though Harry realized he had to go back into the nursery to change his daughter, and there was no doubt in his mind that she would wake Bennett up with all of her crying. But he had to change her, there was no way around it.

So Harry made his way back down the hall, Riley still screaming in his ear as he pushed open the nursery door and made his way over to the changing table. He wasn’t sure if he was in the room for even 10 seconds before another loud cry was heard, if possible Bennett’s screaming louder than his sister.

“Guy’s c’mon,” Harry muttered, not wanting them to wake Louis up and make the older lad come in here to help him. 

He just wanted his boyfriend to actually get some sleep tonight but with these two crying every two hours it seemed near impossible. 

“You tried love.”

Harry picked his head up, a small breath escaping him as he saw Louis shuffle into the room and pick Bennett up to calm him down. “Lou it’s fine, really. I can handle both of them, it’s okay.”

“Oh really?” Louis asked a tad amused. “What’ve you got on your shirt there love?”

Harry furrowed his eyebrows as he threw out a wipe he was using to clean his daughter but immediately felt his face fall as he saw his newly poop stained tee.

“And on your arm.”

And of course when he lifted up his arm there was poop there as well. “How the hell did this happen?”

Louis laughed to himself as he gently bounced the newborn in his arms, shushing him and kissing his head. “You’ll get the hang of it H, don’t worry,” he said, knowing this wouldn’t be the first time he got poop on him. He’s lucky he hasn’t been peed on yet, that’s a sight Louis can’t wait for.

Harry let out a quiet breath as he nodded to himself and finished cleaning Riley up, buttoning her onesie and pulling her into his chest, finally quieting her cries. “My book says that it’s good for newborns to get on a schedule. Like around 2 to 4 months they should be sleeping regularly and everything.”

“Your book is right,” Louis hummed, finding it absolutely adorable that Harry has been reading as much as he can about babies.

“Did Holden start to sleep better when he was that old?”

Louis scoffed, immediately shaking his head and trying to hold back a laugh. “That little booger had to be held 24/7, always crying and needing something, I swear.”

Harry bit his lip as he nodded to himself and rocked his daughter in his arms, trying to lull her back to sleep. Thankfully Bennett had quieted down almost as soon as he was in his daddy’s arms, and Harry couldn’t get over how good Louis was at all of this. The older lad knew exactly what to do, how to calm one of the twins down and knew when to feed them or change them, and just at that Harry only felt worse.

“H you alright?” Louis asked softly, seeing his boyfriend deep in thought.

“Yeah, yeah,” Harry nodded quickly before pressing a kiss to Riley’s nose and gently placed her back in her crib. “Ready to get back to bed?”

Louis hummed, eyeing the younger lad for a second before placing Bennett in his own crib and kissing him. “Here love, give me your shirt, I’ll throw it in the wash real quick and you can scrub your arm.”

Harry pulled off his shirt and passed it to Louis, the older lad immediately taking it and heading straight for the washer down stairs as Harry went back to the bedroom to wipe off his poop covered arm. And when he made his way back from the bathroom Louis was already in bed, pulling the covers over himself and getting comfortable.

“C’mere,” Louis whispered, pulling the green eyed lad towards him as he got into bed.

Harry didn’t need to be told twice, tucking himself right into Louis’ side and allowing the older lad to wrap his arms around him.

“H what’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Harry mumbled into his neck.

“Harry,” Louis said seriously, knowing something was going on with him.

Harry laid there quiet for a moment, just let out a few deep breaths and focused on Louis’ hand running up and down his bare back. “...I’m sorry,” he barely whispered. “I just… I look at the twins, and I wonder what he was like as a baby.”

Louis swallowed thickly, his eyes falling upon the younger lad resting on his chest. He knew Harry was talking about Holden, and from that he knew what was wrong, why he was upset.

“I should’ve been there with you,” Harry said so quietly that even in the silent room he wasn’t sure if Louis heard him. “I wasn’t there to help you when he cried and I’ll never know what his favorite toy was, or the blankie that you gave him to calm him down...I-... I’ll never be able to think back to the first time he smiled or crawled or even walked… I don’t know if he was a happy baby, or a moody one, or one that gurgled and laughed at everything he saw. And if he did do those things I’ll never have the memory of him doing it, never be able to hear his little giggles or remember the first time he reached for me. There are so many memories that I desperately want with him, but it’s too late to get them.”

Louis could hear that Harry was near tears, that just at the thought of everything he missed with Holden was breaking him down. “Love,” he said softly, picking Harry’s head up so he would look at him. “When’s the first time you made Holden smile? You remember that?”

Harry sniffled to himself, wiping away the single tear that escaped him as he nodded. “It’s when I found him lost in the school,” he said quietly. “I told him that I’d help him get to your classroom and that I didn’t want him worrying about losing his uncle Zayn,” Harry said, a smile forming just at the thought back to that day.

“And the first time he hugged you, what about that?”

“It was uhm, well it was the first night you invited me over for dinner… Holden was getting ready for bed and he said goodnight and hugged the life out of me,” Harry said through a small laugh.

“The first time he said I love you?” Louis asked, his own grin creeping onto his lips as he rubbed the younger lad’s back.

At that Harry just thought for a second, memories of his son crying into his neck and whispering “I love you” as he was about to board a plane. “I was leaving for an award show and he said it,” he whispered, remembering the moment all too well. “When he said it I felt like I couldn’t breathe, in the best way… I had never heard something so amazing…”

Louis pulled Harry impossibly closer, pressing a kiss to his head and burying his nose in his hair. “Those are your firsts with him love, those are the memories that are only for you two,” he said softly. “I know it’s not the same as him being a baby, and I’m sorry for that,” Louis said just loud enough for the younger lad to hear. “But you’re here now and there are plenty of other firsts for you.”

Harry bit his lip as he nodded against Louis, knowing he’ll have to remind himself of that every time he starts thinking like this.

“And H?” Louis asked, earning a small hum from his boyfriend. “I uhm… I know you’ve been getting up with the twins every time they cry because you feel bad and guilty that you weren’t there the first time…” he said quietly. “But we’re a team love, I don’t want you too feel like you have to do everything on your own.”

Harry carefully picked his head off of Louis’ chest, knowing there was no way to play it off like that wasn’t how he was feeling. He couldn’t help but let the guilt consume him, let the thoughts of Louis being just 22 years old, trying to finish up uni and have a newborn that needed constant attention run wild through his head. Harry wanted to make up for the time he was gone, wanted to give the older lad a break, but Louis was right. If he kept up the pace he was going there was no doubt in Harry’s mind that he would slip into insanity from lack of sleep or would be covered in poop and not know it.

So he nodded at his boyfriend, earning a soft smile from him before Louis brushed his fingers through the back of his curls and pulled him down for a gentle kiss.  As soon as Harry pulled away though he was sure the older lad fell right to sleep, and he didn’t blame him. They did have to get up in about two hours to get Holden ready for school, and with that thought Harry didn’t waste a second himself before settling against Louis and falling right to sleep.

*~*

“Well hello handsome.”

Louis rolled his eyes playfully as he allowed Clara into the house, knowing he looked like a right mess. His hair was everywhere, his shirt was coated in spit up and he probably smelt like pee, but this was going to be the norm for a bit.

“What can we do for ya today?” he asked, leading her towards the living room.

“Well I have to talk to H about some business stuff, he’s here, isn’t he?”

Louis hummed a small laugh escaping him as he pointed to his boyfriend who was very heavily sleeping on the couch. “I just put the twins down so he’s using it to his advantage,” he said, Harry’s mouth hung open and his snoring almost sounding like a lawn mower.

“I should let him sleep, he looks worse than you do,” Clara chuckled, settling herself on the other couch. “Holden’s at school?”

“Thankfully,” Louis breathed out, throwing himself into a chair, ready to pass out himself. “Day 1 with the twins at home and we’re already dead.”

“How long are you on leave from work?”

“I took the rest of the year off, it’s just 3 months I’m missing,” Louis said through a yawn. “My students were so sweet when I had my last day, they made me promise to keep them updated on the twins and send them pictures.”

Clara hummed, a small smile coming to her as she looked at the older lad. “I actually just put out a piece today about the twins, saying when they were born and their names. So far, very, very good reactions.”

“Well that’s good.”

Clara raised her eyebrows as she saw Louis slowly slipping into sleep, and then there was Harry who was still sleeping like he hadn’t in years, but in a split second all of that changed.

“Baby,” Harry snapped his head up, hearing a loud cry. “Baby up, I gotta-,” he yawned, slowly sitting up. “I gotta get the- get the baby.”

“Love Clara is here to talk to you. I’ll get the baby,” Louis said, his eyes still closed and looking like he had no plans of moving.

Harry blinked a few times, rubbing his hands over his face and glanced up to find a very amused looking Clara. “Uhm hi.”

“Well hey,” Clara laughed quietly, watching the younger lad slowly get up. “I won’t be here long, we just have a few things to go over.”

Harry nodded, letting out another yawn before he brushed his fingers through Louis’ hair. “Love you gonna get’em or do you want me to?”

“No, no, it’s okay, you guys go talk,” Louis said, actually getting up this time and heading towards the stairs, grateful only one of the twins woke up.

Harry said a quiet “okay”, wanting to make this quick so he could help Louis out and let him get some sleep. So he led Clara up to his music room, closing the door behind him and throwing himself into one of the cushioned seats.

“Have you seen the piece I sent out today about the twins?” Clara asked, taking a seat across from him.

“No, I’ve been too busy getting peed on,” Harry mumbled. 

Clara bit back a laugh, earning a small glare from the younger lad. “Isn’t your family supposed to be helping you guys out?”

“Yeah but they’re all sight seeing or something today, I dunno. They’ll be back tonight and are staying for a week before they go back home.”

“Good, you boys could use some help,” and again Harry just glared at her. “But anyway, everyone is loving the piece on the twins, they’re going crazy over the names and now they’re aching for a few pictures, or maybe some videos. The public hasn’t seen them yet so they’re a little desperate. I was thinking you could post something on Twitter or Instagram later.”

“Sure,” Harry hummed, nodding to himself.

“Also I talked to James from your label and he wanted me to talk to you about something,” Clara said slowly, not sure how Harry would react to this. “Since you’re gonna be on break for a while they want you to work from home and come out with another album.”

Harry furrowed his eyebrows as he picked his head up and looked at the older woman like she had gone mad. “They do realize we have two newborns right? And they want an album, are you kidding me? When do they expect me to do this?”

“You have a while to do it H, don’t worry.”

“Okay, when then?”

Clara let out a quiet breath, running her fingers through her hair and sitting back in her seat. “They want it early November so you can be nominated for the AMA’s, Grammy’s and Brit awards.”

Harry threw his head back, groaning into his hands but nodding anyways. That was plenty of time to write an album, but still, he wanted to be here for the kids and Louis as much as possible. Recording and writing an album meant he had to be away from them, going to these award shows also meant travelling and there would be promotion for the album, taking up even more time.

“They promised me time off… They said if I went on tour I could have a break.”

“I know they did H,” Clara said softly. “But when I talked to James he said it would still be minimal travel, and you can even record here, you don’t have to go to the studio.”

“Well do I even have a say? I mean want to talk to Louis about this, I told him I would be home, and you and I both know that with an album comes promotion, and that means travel. They can say it’s minimal but that’s bull shit if they want good sales, I’ll have to travel,” Harry said, straining himself to not just start screaming.

“But Harry if you think about it by then the twins will be almost a year old, it’s not like we’re asking you to hop on a plane next weekend.”

Harry shook his head, pinching the bridge of his nose and letting out a deep breath. “I’ll talk to Louis and call James tomorrow.”

Clara nodded slowly, standing up and giving the younger lad’s shoulder a gentle squeeze before she let herself out.

Harry just sat there for a moment, tried to calm down and relax before he made his way back downstairs to find Louis.

“Hey love, everything okay?” Louis asked as he bounced Riley on his chest, seeing the younger lad looking a bit stressed.

“I don’t know,” Harry groaned, picking up a whining Bennett from his rocker and bringing him over to the couch to lay down. “They want me to write an album by November and I just… I don’t know.”

“But they said you could get time off,” Louis said quietly.

Harry hummed, still not sure how he felt about all of this. He explained it all to Louis like Clara had to him, and already he could see that the older lad was hesitant about the idea.

“Daddy!! Papa! Where the babies?!”

The two winced as they heard Holden crash through the house, followed by loud and multiple other footsteps walk through the house. 

“We’ll talk about it later love,” Louis said softly, pressing a gentle kiss to Harry’s cheek and earning a small nod from the younger lad.

“Oh there’s my beautiful granddaughter!” Anne said happily, taking the newborn and securing her in her arms. “Lou, sweetheart go shower, you smell terrible.”

Louis rolled his eyes playfully and scoffed, but at the same time he doesn’t think a shower has ever sounded so amazing. “Thanks for picking Holden up. How was your guys’ day?”

“We had a lovely day exploring the city,” Anne said, smiling at Riley and getting a blank stare back from her. “But now that we’re here we’ll give and H a break. Go clean up love, it’s okay.”

Louis got it, he really smelt bad so he offered the older woman a grateful smile before heading back into the living room. He saw Robin was helping Holden hold Bennett and at the sight Louis couldn’t help the soft smile that came to him. He loved how careful and gentle Holden was with his siblings, how much the 4 year old cared for them.

He was always asking to hold them, help feed them and even Louis noticed this morning before they got Holden ready for school his son would try to entertain them while they were in the rockers. Bennett and Riley watched their older brother shake a stuffed animal in front of them or smile slightly as he played peek-a-boo with them. And Louis thought he wouldn’t mind mornings so much if that’s what he got to watch everyday before they got Holden ready for school.

*~*

“So cute,” Holden whispered, running a gentle hand over his baby brother’s head and kissing his tiny nose. “Don’t tell Riley but you a lot easier. You don’t cry so much.”

Harry bit his lip, trying to keep in a laugh as he pulled out his phone and started filming the two. “What’re you doin big guy?” he asked softly.

“Holding Bennett,” the 4 year old said, balancing his brother on his chest and gently rubbing his back as the newborn slept.

“Oh yeah?” Harry asked, his smile only growing as he saw how careful Holden was with him, how Bennett had the faintest grin on his face as he stretched and made little noises in his brother’s arms. “Well do you think I could hold him?”

“No,” Holden said, kissing his baby brother’s head and offering his finger for the newborn to hold, his tiny hand immediately wrapping around it.

Harry raised his eyebrows at that, unable to get over how cute the two were. “Well buddy it’s your bedtime and Benji is tired too.”

Holden acted as if he hadn’t heard his father, instead just pulled his brother impossibly closer and smiled as he gurgled nonsense to himself.

Harry wasn’t even sure if he should try to detach the two, Holden keeping one of the twins attached to him ever since he came home from school. So instead of taking Bennett from Holden he let the two be, turning his attention and camera to Louis on the other couch, snoring louder than any other human should as Riley was fast asleep on his chest.

He only focused on them for a little bit before he ended the video and pulled up Twitter to post the video.

**@Harry_Styles: Nap time is our favorite time ! Here’s to the first day home with the twins x**

And so he posted it to Instagram as well, doing as Clara told him, and of course there were immediate reactions but he would check those later. Right now Harry had to get his family to bed.

*~*

Harry shifted the bags he had in his hands as he trudged up the front steps, trying not to drop anything. He swears he practically bought the store because they were running out of absolutely everything at home. The fact that they actually had food and wouldn’t have to order take was weird and foreign but such a big relief.

His family only stayed for a week and now with them gone Harry was just mildly more lost than he was before. But at least he managed to go outside for the first time in forever, even if it was just to the store to stock up the house.

“Lou?” he asked quietly as once all the bags were brought in, not sure if the babies and Louis were sleeping. 

Harry made his way into the living room, and just at glancing around he knew this room much like the rest of the house desperately needed to be cleaned. “Hey love, I got everything. Sorry it took me so long I ran into a couple fans at the-” he stopped himself, quickly walking over to his boyfriend and kneeling in front of him as he saw the older lad furiously wiping his wet eyes. “What’s wrong? What happened?”

Louis bit his lip as he shook his head, looking anywhere except for the green eyed lad.

“Did something happen with the twins? Are they okay? Are they-”

“They’re fine, they’re okay,” Louis said quickly, seeing Harry grow more and more worried. “They’re in their rockers sleeping, see.”

Harry let out a relieved breath as he glanced behind him and saw the twins sleeping peacefully. “Well then what’s wrong love? Whats got you all upset?”

Louis sniffled to himself, wiping his wet cheeks with the sleeves of his sweater, not even sure if he wanted to talk about it. If anything he just wanted to forget it happened and move on with his life, pretend the older woman didn’t even exist but Louis knew Harry would keep asking until he told him.

“My uhm… My mum called.”

Harry stilled for a second, carefully taking Louis’ hands in his and rubbing his thumbs over his skin. He knows the older lad hasn’t talked to his mum for nearly a year, he never even called to tell her they were expecting again, but Harry understood why, the woman was a terrible person. Everything she said was a blatant insult and Louis wanted nothing to do with her.

“What’d she want?” Harry asked quietly, moving to sit next to the older lad and pull him into his side.

“She heard the news about the twins,” Lous barely whispered. “She also talked to Liam’s mum and felt the need to yell at me about both, how I apparently fucked up mine and his relationship… And she said that she heard we were expecting when the first news about it came out, but she thought I was doing it for publicity, that there wasn’t actually a baby coming and that I wanted attention… Even though I told her about the twins and explained none of that was true she didn’t believe me, she doesn’t think they’re yours and that I cheated on you and that- that she doesn’t know why you’re still with me. She just- she-...”

Harry hushed the older lad, pulling him impossibly closer to his side and kissing his head but it was almost immediate he felt tears on his neck. “It’s all bull shit and you know it… You know none of that is true, she’s just trying to hurt you.”

“But why?” Louis asked, trying his absolute hardest to not yell. “I’m her son! I haven’t done anything to her!! I mean the least she could do is pretend that she gives a shit about her grandkids!”

“I know, I know,” Harry said softly, wanting Louis to keep his voice down so he wouldn’t wake the twins.

He can’t even say how many times Louis and him have talked about his mum, how many times he’s told the older lad to forget about her and all the shit she says. But Harry can’t even imagine how hard it must be to be talked down to like Louis is by his mum.

“Babe you know it’s not against you… She’s just… She’s hurt about what your dad did and she takes it out on you, that’s all.”

“So what? Is that supposed to make it okay?!” Louis asked, trying desperately to stop his constant crying, tucking himself closer into Harry’s neck. 

“No, of course it doesn’t,” Harry said quietly into the older lad’s hair, rubbing his back and doing anything he could to calm him down.

Getting into Louis’ family business was always messy, and talking about it hurt the older lad. Harry knew all about how Louis’ dad left his mum after his second sister was born for another man. The blue eyed lad was only 5 when his father left and never looked back, but it was also when his mum turned his back on him, when she stopped caring for him. To her Louis was just like his father, and when he grew up and came out to her she only treated him worse.

“You’re better than what she says love and you know it,” Harry said almost firmly.

“It still hurts,” Louis said, squeezing his eyes shut so no more tears could escape.

Harry let out a quiet breath, nodding as he pulled Louis even closer, nearly having the older lad sitting on his lap so he could calm him down. 

“I knew it was stupid to pick up the phone when I saw her name,” Louis sniffled to himself as he shook his head. “I thought that maybe she heard about the twins and wanted to see them or know about them… I thought she wanted to apologize…”

“I’m sorry Lou… I’m so so sorry…”

Louis slightly pulled away from the younger lad, wiping his stinging eyes and letting out hiccuped breaths. “I’m done with her, done with all of them.”

“Who’s them?” 

“My mum, Liam, I can’t do it anymore,” Louis barely said. “I’m so fucking sick of getting hurt, I’m done.”

“I don’t want you getting hurt either love, do whatever makes you happy,” Harry said softly, wiping the older lad’s wet cheeks and kissing away his tears. “You can block their numbers or I can even get you a new phone and a new number,” he offered. “I want to do anything so you don’t feel like this, tell me what you want me to do.”

Louis tucked his head back into Harry’s neck, releasing a few deep breaths before wrapping his arms around his boyfriend and pulling him close. “Tell me you love me.”

Harry let a small laugh slip, his smile growing as he leaned down and kissed the older lad’s hair. “I love you… So fuckin much,” and it was only a second later he felt Louis grinning against him, pressing his lips to his neck quickly before resting his head on his shoulder.

“I love you too.”

*~*

Harry rubbed his hands over his face frustratedly as he leaned over his desk, staring down at the blank page in front of him before a loud cry came over the baby monitor. “C’mon Benji,” he muttered, hearing his son’s wail but of course then his sister had to join in.

“Harry can you get them?!”

“Yeah!” he yelled back, already pushing himself out of his seat and heading out of his music room.

“Papa I’ll help!” Holden said, already running down the hall with Addi on his heels.

“Oh good cause I can’t handle those two all by myself,” Harry joked, following his son into the nursery.

“Rob!! Out of Benji’s crib, you’re making him sad!” Holden said, scurrying over to his baby brother’s crib and stepping on his stool to scoop the cat out of it. “You can’t wake the babies, I tell you this so many times!”

Harry rolled his eyes fondly as he picked Bennett up and balanced him on his chest before going over to Riley’s crib and carefully picking her up as well. “He’s a cat buddy, it doesn’t matter how many times you tell him, he’s still gonna do it.”

Holden eyed his cat, putting him down and telling him yet again to stay out of his siblings’ cribs. “Papa give me Riley, I calm her down.”

“I’ll give her to you if we go downstairs and you sit on the couch,” Harry said, seeing the 4 year old making grabby hands for his baby sister, but didn’t want him to hold her by himself.

Holden groaned, his papa always making him sit before he holds his siblings. “Can we just go for a walk instead? We can take the twins out and I walk Addi,” he said ruffling the dog’s ears.

“Sure buddy, let’s go see if daddy wants to come,” Harry said, balancing the two babies on his chest before following his son downstairs.

“Handsome man, why did you start crying huh?” Louis asked through a soft smile, taking Bennett from Harry and kissing the newborn, making him gurgle to himself.

“Rob got a little curious,” Harry explained, earning a hum from the older lad. “Why’re you all sweaty love? You working out or something?”

Louis shook his head as he made faces at his son, getting the newborn to smile at him. “I’ve just been cleaning. God knows the house needed it.”

Harry scoffed, more than grateful Louis had cleaned because no one has since they brought the twins home nearly three weeks ago. “Well take a break love, H here wanted to go for a walk and the twins could use some air,” he said, gently bouncing Riley on his chest and smiling down at her.

Louis nodded, already seeing Holden getting ready to take Addi out. So he and Harry got their own shoes and coats on, and made sure to bundle the twins up in their stroller so they wouldn’t feel the April chill.

“Look how freaking adorable they are,” Harry said, quietly laughing to himself as he looked down at the twins and saw them gurgling and stretching in their seats. “We make some pretty cute kids.”

“Yeah we do,” Louis hummed through his own smile, feeling the younger lad kiss his temple.

It was hard to get over just how cute the twins were. The two were a complete mix of him and Harry, having blue eyes and Louis’ nose but Harry’s dimples and getting his dark brown hair the older they got, even though it was the tiniest amount on their little heads. They were almost completely identical, except for their personalities.

Riley loved to screech and yell while her brother was much more relaxed and was happy to just suck on his fingers or watch his older brother play peek-a-boo with him. Riley was a bit harder, seeming like she always needed attention or had to be in someone’s arms, and already Louis knew Harry was going to spoil her rotten. The younger lad already does, but Louis got it, she was their little girl after all.

“How’s the songwriting going love?” he asked, slowly following after Holden with the stroller down the street.

“It’s not,” Harry laughed, running a frustrated hand through his hair. “Lou I seriously don’t know what I’m gonna do… I haven’t been able to get a single thing done and with Holden’s birthday coming up and summer just around the corner and let’s not forget about the twins I don’t want to be cooped up in the music studio.”

Louis let out a quiet breath as he nodded and glanced down at the mumbling twins. “Do you still have your journals? Like the ones with all the songs you’ve written but never actually recorded? I mean you can look through those and see if any are good, and I know one song you can record today and get that put on the album.”

Harry opened and closed his mouth, everything Louis just said being absolutely genius. “What song?”

“If I Could Fly,” Louis said through a soft smile. “You only ever sent it to me, and it’s beautiful, might as well record it.”

“Yeah papa, it made daddy cry,” Holden said, skipping along with Addi at his side.

Louis rolled his eyes, gently shoving his son’s head and making him giggle. “When we get home record it, I can handle the three monsters for a bit.”

Harry couldn’t believe what he was hearing, thinking he should’ve talked to Louis about this sooner and save himself a few headaches. “Have I told you how much I love you today?”

Louis pulled a thinking face, tapping his finger to his chin jokingly. “I don’t think so, no.”

“Oh, well in that case,” Harry stopped the older lad from walking, surprising him by wrapping his arms around his waist and pressing their lips together.

“Stop,” Holden groaned as soon as he saw his daddies kissing. “You’re so gross you gonna makes the twins spit up.”

The two couldn’t help the laughs that escaped them, Harry making sure to peck his boyfriend’s lips one last time before they continued on their walk. And when they got home a half hour later luckily the twins were fast asleep and Harry was able to get the first song of many recorded for his new album.

*~*

Harry picked his head up as he heard Riley in her rocker, stretching and yawning for only a second before she fell right back to sleep. He hated how big she already was at a month and a half old, Bennett too, being a bit bigger than his sister and showed no signs of stopping.

Holden had already turned 5 and his son was almost done with his first year of school, Harry wanted time to stop. He wanted his kids to stay this little forever, for them to not have a care in the world. And Harry knew it couldn’t stay this way, knew they were going to grow up, but at least for now he had his babygirl and little boy as babies, and Holden being his rowdy and adorable self.

“What’re you doin love? Can’t you stay asleep for more than 5 minutes?” Harry laughed quietly, getting up from his desk, walking over to Riley in her rocker and offering her his finger.

And of course it wasn’t even a second later the newborn’s small cries stopped, placing her papa’s finger in her mouth and nibbling on it.

“You gonna let papa write some music or are you gonna keep eating me?” Harry asked, picking up her pacifier and placing that in her mouth instead.

He was hoping that Riley would fall asleep but instead his daughter just stared right back at him with her big blue eyes as she sucked on her pacifier.

Harry knew it wouldn’t be that easy, Riley was nothing like her brother when it came to sleep. Bennett’s favorite thing to do was sleep, him being possibly the laziest newborn the world has ever seen. So that’s why he was sleeping like a good child should be in the middle of the night and Riley was wide awake, begging for some kind of attention.

And it worked out for Harry, now him not having to be lonely as he worked in the music room, shuffling through old song lyrics and trying to come up with something for this album. But at the same time it screwed with his sleep schedule, it being nearly 3 am and while Louis was fast asleep Harry was wide awake. Maybe it was just that Bennett was just like Louis while Riley was like her papa. Harry had a feeling she would be a late night thinker like him anyway.

“Maybe I should write a song about you, huh?” Harry whispered, rubbing his thumb over his daughter’s tiny hand. “You’re my only little girl after all, have to treat you like the princess you are,” he laughed, still just getting a blank stare from the newborn.

He couldn’t help but feel his smile widen, even just looking at his daughter made his heart swell, she was so, so beautiful. 

Harry felt Riley wrap her hand around his finger, holding it gently as she kept her gaze on him. He pulled out his phone, opening his camera and focusing on the newborn before pressing record.

“Isn’t she lovely?” he sang, looking at his daughter like she was the most fragile thing in the world, like as long as he was here nothing bad was ever going to happen to her. “Isn’t she wonderful? Isn’t she precious? Less than 1 minute old, and I never thought through love we’d be making one as lovely as she. But isn’t she lovely? Made from love.”

And Harry would lie if he said that no, he didn’t start tearing up as he watched Riley’s pacifier fall out of her mouth, a soft smile coming over the newborn as she heard her papa singing. But he stopped recording and kept singing until he saw his daughter’s eyes slowly fall shut, only then giving her a gentle kiss and taking his finger out of her hand.

**@Harry_Styles: Late night song writing with papa x**

Harry posted it on Twitter, his smile never leaving his face as he took a seat at his piano and continued with the song. He didn’t sing, but let his fingers glide across the keys gently as he continued with the melody of the song, hoping to actually keep Riley asleep.

Harry wasn’t sure how long he was playing, hoping that sooner rather than later a song idea might pop into his head. But when he felt a pair of arms carefully wrap around his neck and lips press to his head he didn’t need to look to know who it was. And with that Harry changed the song, almost immediately earning a quiet laugh from the older lad as he recognized it.  **[(X)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UEtCv7LBjh8)**

Louis slowly let Harry go, taking a seat next to him on the piano bench and just listened to him play. He could never get sick of watching and hearing Harry play, the younger lad constantly getting lost in what he was doing, humming along with the music and using his whole body to play.

And of course it was over too soon, but Louis was surprised that as soon as Harry was finished he felt the younger lad’s lips on his, his fingers lost in his hair while his other hand cupped his cheek.

“Coming to bed soon love?” he asked through a small laugh as soon as Harry slowly pulled away.

“I managed to knock the monster out so I suppose so,” Harry said jokingly, glancing over at Riley and surprised to find her still asleep.

Louis smiled back at him, kissing the younger lad one more time before getting up and heading towards the rocker to get Riley out of it. “There we go sweet girl, it’s okay,” he said softly, getting a yawn and few little noises out of the newborn as she stretched against his chest.

“Benji still sleeping?” Harry whispered, following the younger lad down the hall.

“Passed right out, just like his daddy.”

Harry rolled his eyes fondly as he watched Louis place Riley in her crib, the two of them kissing her gently and checking on Bennett before leaving the room. “I’ll be right there love, just wanna check on H.”

“What? Babe c’mon, he’s fine and sleeping, come to bed.”

“I will, I promise, I’ll be quick.”

Louis looked at his boyfriend for a second, not able to fend off his smile as he shook his head and shuffled to their bedroom.

And with that Harry turned on his heel, making his way to the other end of the hall and reaching Holden’s bedroom door. He gently pushed it open, and made sure to tip toe into the room, and just at hearing his son’s little snores Harry’s grin only grew.

It was crazy to Harry how big Holden has gotten, how he had more energy than ever. It was quiet moments like this that Harry just liked to sit with his son, remember the time when he first met him when he was 3 and had no idea he was his father. But now Holden was 5 and everything has changed, and it was everything Harry has ever wanted. And when he finally left his son’s bed, making sure to give him a soft kiss before getting up the same thought kept running through his head. When Louis’ arm wrapped around him once he made it to bed it was still there. The thought that this is his family, this is his life, and there was absolutely nothing he would do to change it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little chapter full of fluff, hope you like it ! I edited this on my phone while I was getting a tattoo, so sorry if there a some mistakes xD I wanted to get it out ASAP for you guys since finals are coming up for me. Thoughts on the chapter ?? I think there will only be two more updates :( Share opinions, kudos are nice and comments are cool. Thanks x


	21. Chapter 21

                                                  

 

“Papa?”

Harry picked his head up, a smile immediately coming to him as he saw Holden’s little head pop in. “Hey, buddy, what’s up?”

“Nothing,” Holden breathed out as he shrugged and walked into the room, taking a seat in front of his father’s desk. “Just miss you.”

Harry’s smile faltered for a second, biting his lip and nodding at the 5 year old. “I miss you too big guy,” he said softly. “I know I’ve been working a lot, I’m sorry.”

And all Holden did was shrug again, knowing his papa was trying his hardest to finish his work quickly. “Well I can help papa, I’m a real good singer and I’m learning how to write some.”

“Oh yeah?” Harry laughed quietly, looking back down to his paper and picking his pen up. “I know you’re a good singer buddy, probably better than me.”

“No way,” Holden scoffed, hopping off his chair and walking towards his papa, moving his arm so he could climb in his lap.

Harry raised his eyebrows at the 5 year old as he made himself comfortable on his lap, but couldn’t help himself as he rolled his eyes fondly and kissed his son’s head. “How’re the twins? They napping?”

“Yeah and daddy is running in the gym so I’m bored,” Holden groaned, resting against his father’s chest.

“Well buddy, why don’t you help papa with some lyrics?”

Holden sat right up as his papa passed him some paper and a pen and immediately went to work. And as Harry looked over his son’s shoulder it took everything in him to not let out a loud laugh. All the 5 year old was doing was scribbling his name everywhere and all the words Harry figures he’s been learning at school. Just cat, hat and all those other easy three lettered words.

All he did was kiss his son’s head before getting back to writing, finally feeling like this album was going somewhere. He has about five songs he found in his journals and was thankfully able to record them, and Harry has to say that he is pleasantly surprised with how they’ve all turned out. But now he was working on writing a new song, this one being all about his little girl.  **[(X)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LPCcnDrzWkM)**

“Papa these all the words I know,” Holden said, biting his lip as he realized it wasn’t all that much.

“It’s a great start buddy,” Harry smiled at him, rubbing his back reassuringly. “When I’m done with this I’ll go through it with you and I’m sure we can come up with something.”

Holden nodded, earning yet another kiss from his papa before he watched his father get right back to work. He just watched him write, loving his handwriting and wishing he could read what he was putting on the paper. But Holden was sure if he asked his papa he would sing it for him.

“Alright, big guy what do you want to do?” Harry asked once he was done writing.

“Sing!”

Harry laughed, figuring the 5 year old would want to do something like that. “Okay buddy, come over here and we’ll sing.”

Holden skipped off to his papa’s recording booth, grabbing his stool that his father keeps in there for him and placing it right in front of the microphone. “Papa I want I’m gonna find another you,” he said, already placing headphones over his ears.

Harry rolled his eyes fondly as he scanned over his guitars, figuring out which one to use. Of course, he knew that Holden would make himself comfortable, him loving whenever they had time to sing or play instruments together, the 5 year old was never shy about what he wanted to do.

“You care if we record it?”

“No,” Holden scoffed if anything loving when his papa recorded them so he could watch and listen to them playing whenever he wanted.

So Harry got his guitar and situated the microphones and camera, knowing his mum and the fans always loved these videos. He got his own pair of headphones, plugged in his guitar and glanced at his son, seeing he was more than ready to sing.

Harry smiled over at the 5 year old before he started the beginning of the song, Holden almost immediately closing his eyes and swaying where he stood, just as he opened his mouth to sing. And Harry doesn’t know how, but his smile only grew as he heard his son’s little voice, saw how much Holden loved to sing. He had to admit it, for a 5 year old his boy had a good little voice, and if he kept going to way he was Harry didn’t doubt for a second that Holden would follow in his footsteps.

“You’re definitely my son,” Harry murmured playfully once they finished the song, making Holden giggle. “You wanna sing another one or practice some piano?”

“Uhm can we do piano? But then after I wanna play guitar cause I practicing all the time but I still need help with this one.”

Harry furrowed his eyebrows, a laugh immediately escaping him as he saw his son making a G chord with his fingers in the air but it looked like a claw. “Okay, buddy, c’mon.”

He and Louis had gotten Holden a guitar for his birthday and he’s been learning piano little by little for almost a year now, but lately Harry noticed that the 5 year old had really taken to music, he wanted to do it all the time.

As soon as Holden situated himself at the piano Harry began shuffling through some of his sheet music, trying to find the songs he wrote just for Holden to practice with. When he wrote out this music he knew it would help with 5 year old’s technique but were also easy and sounded good.

“How about we try this one today,” he said, placing a new song in front of his son. “Okay so let’s check the key signature first, what key is this one in?”

Holden bit his lip as he looked at the paper and swung his little legs back and forth. “A flat and the time signature is 4/4!”

“Perfect, good job buddy,” Harry said happily, getting comfortable next to him on the bench. “And what’s our first note?”

“D!” Holden said, but then quickly shook his head. “Wait no! D flat cause the key is A flat!”

Harry looked at his son surprised, thinking he would’ve tricked him a bit with that one. “Alright genius, you know what to do next, get into position and let’s see how we do at sight reading.”

He made sure Holden put his hands where they needed to go and smiled to himself as he watched his son begin to play. He would glance up at the music and then back to his hands every now and then, a habit Harry knew he would have to break but Holden was still learning, he knew once the 5 year old got more comfortable with the instrument he wouldn’t feel the need to look down at all.

Harry watched Holden, picked out things he needed to work on and he was happy to see his son trying over and over again until he got it right and was able to play it fluidly. “You keep practicing buddy, I’m gonna go talk to daddy real quick.”

And Holden just nodded, smiling as he felt his papa kiss his head and heard him walk out of the room.

Harry made his way to the gym, not at all surprised that Louis was working out as he’s been desperate to get rid of his baby fat since the twins were born 3 months ago. But when he walked into the room he couldn’t help but catcall at his boyfriend, seeing him running shirtless and in a nice pair of shorts with sweat absolutely coating him.

“Well hello,” he said through a laugh, seeing the older lad go pink in the cheeks. “I’m looking for my boyfriend, gorgeous blue eyes, soft brown hair, is about 5’6”.”

“I’m 5’9” you ass,” Louis muttered, trying desperately to hide his blush as he stopped the machine.

“Well don’t stop on my account,” Harry hummed, walking towards Louis and resting his hands on his waist.

“I don’t need you to see me jiggle everywhere,” Louis laughed quietly.

“Even if you jiggle in all the right places?”

And Louis didn’t know it was possible for his face to get this hot as he felt the younger lad squeezing at his bum. “You’re such a menace,” he said, but it wasn’t even a second later he was standing on his toes to kiss his boyfriend.

Harry hummed against him, wrapping his arms just a bit tighter around the older lad as he deepened the kiss. He would never get sick of feeling Louis’ lips against his, feel his boyfriend’s hands travel up his sides, through his hair and down his backside. But of course it couldn’t last forever, the older lad just barely pulling away and pecking Harry’s lips one last time so he could catch his breath.

“Did you come down here to interrupt my workout and snog?” Louis asked jokingly, playing the with hairs at the back of the younger lad’s neck.

“If I say yes can we pick it back up?” Harry raised his eyebrows, earning a playful smack to the chest from his boyfriend. “But really I wanted to talk to you about LA and then an idea I had for a song on the album.”

Louis hummed, actually excited about going to LA for the summer with Harry’s family and their mates. He knew it would be more than a great time with everyone, especially taking the twins to the beach for the first time.

“So you know we’re leaving this weekend and I was wondering if you could make a list of everything you want me to get for the twins. I have no clue what they’ll need for travelling and I wanna be prepared.”

Louis rolled his eyes fondly, Harry always needing and wanting to be prepared for any situation that has to do with the twins. “I’ll do it tonight and we can go shopping tomorrow.”

“Perfect,” Harry said happily. “And secondly, I need your help with a song that I want to record tonight.”

“Uhm sure,” Louis shrugged. “What do you need help with? Like lyrics or piano or something?”

“Well no, not exactly…” Harry scratched the back of his neck, knowing he would have to convince Louis a bit for this. “I was really hoping you would uhm… Would record a song with me, like a duet.”

“To go on the album?” Louis asked quietly, seeing the younger lad nod and bite his lip. “That’s like uhm… Like millions of people listening to me and uh… I uhm, I dunno.”

Harry could immediately see Louis’ hesitance, just at the thought of being on the album terrifying him. “Babe you have an amazing voice, and remember when you surprised me in LA and sang that song with me? It was so good and everyone loved it, and I have the perfect song, please?”

Louis opened and closed his mouth, really not sure he wanted to hear himself on Harry’s album. “I’ll think about it love.”

Harry smiled down at Louis, that being good enough for him before he dipped his head and gently connected their lips. “Thank you,” he said softly against him.

Louis smiled against the younger lad, pecking his lips and pulling away so he could finish his workout.

“Babe don’t forget we’re leaving for the game in two hours,” Harry reminded him as he watched his boyfriend walk back over to the treadmill.

“I know, I’ll be done in a half hour,” he said, picking up the speed of the machine below him. “Don’t forget to get the twins up soon. We don’t want them up all night and they need to get changed before the game.”

“Already have their kits picked out,” Harry grinned over at him, looking forward to this footie game for a week now.

Louis smiled back at him and winked at his boyfriend before he turned his attention to running. He knew Harry was excited about the Arsenal and Manchester game, desperately wanting to get out of the house and not be cooped up in the music room anymore. That and any opportunity the younger lad had to show off the kids he was going to take advantage of it.

When Louis was finished with his workout he hopped off the treadmill and picked up his towel, wiping his wet forehead with it as he made his way upstairs. And as soon as he got to the top of stairs Louis was happy to hear loud squeals coming from the living room, the twins definitely being up and Harry or Holden entertaining them.

“What’re you doing to my handsome man?” Louis asked, seeing Harry blowing raspberries onto Bennett’s belly and making the baby laugh and squirm from under his papa. “Such a happy baby,” he said, picking up the 3 month old and kissing him all over his little face.

“I tried to get Riley into her kit and she kinda kept kicking me,” Harry said sheepishly. “She’s upstairs with Holden in the music room. I was hoping if she listened to him play piano then she might calm down enough for me to change her.”

“I swear they're polar opposites,” Louis said, hugging Bennett to his chest, the baby cuddling right into him. “My big boy is so quiet and cute and cuddly and that daughter of yours is quite the handful,” he said playfully side-eyeing his boyfriend.

Harry shrugged, not even going to argue with that. Riley was always screeching and gurgling, constantly needing someone's attention and Harry was sure his daughter was him in baby form.

“Also how dare you get them Arsenal kits you traitor.”

“Alright babe, I know we’re both Manchester boys but it’s what Holden wanted and I wanted them to match so they all have the same jersey.”

“Well, clearly we’re raising our kids wrong. We need to go to more Manchester games and get the kiddos on our side,” Louis said jokingly, rubbing Bennett’s back as he felt the baby relaxing and getting comfortable against his chest.

Harry rolled his eyes, smiling to himself as he saw his two boys. “You go shower before Benji passes out from your stink and I’ll try to change Riley,” he said, taking their son from the older lad.

“Yeah, good luck trying to change her,” Louis laughed. “Try not to get kicked or peed or pooped on,” he said with raised eyebrows, Riley famous for doing all three things to them.

Harry hummed, mentally and physically preparing himself for changing his daughter. At least she still looked cute when she did all those things.

*~*

Harry smiled to himself as he rubbed sunscreen over Bennett’s stomach and all over his back, this maybe being his son’s third coating but he wanted to be careful. “Look at your fat belly.”

“Harry!” Louis shrieked, looking at his boyfriend wide-eyed. “He’s not fat! He’s just...Thick,” he said, smiling down at Bennett and poking his belly, making the baby giggle.

Harry shrugged, finding his son’s chubby belly absolutely adorable. He was grateful Bennett actually let him put sunscreen on him, unlike Riley who just cried and pushed away. Luckily Louis was in charge of dealing with her while Harry had his easy going, laid back baby boy to take care of.

“You did so good on the plane sweet girl, yes you did,” Louis said, pressing kisses all over Riley’s face and earning loud giggle from her.

He was expecting her to be miserable the entire time, crying and wailing but instead he was pleasantly surprised that his daughter just slept and watched as her big brother tried to play with her.

“It’s so good to be back,” Harry breathed out, cuddling Bennett into his chest as he looked out towards the water, watching Holden play in the waves with Niall and Zayn.

Louis hummed his agreement as he soaked in the LA summer sun. He was so happy vacation could actually start, that Harry’s family and their mates were able to spend time with them. But more so Louis was happy that Harry could finally relax a bit and not worry about the album so much. Sure he still had more work to do but Louis was grateful that the younger lad actually agreed to take a break from work for a little and spend time with them.

“I was thinking after dinner we could all go to the boardwalk. Ya know get Holden on some rides, get some cotton candy and walk around with the twins.”

“You wanna see all the pretty lights on the boardwalk? Huh? That sounds fun, doesn’t it?”

Louis furrowed his eyebrows as he heard Harry talking to Bennett in his “baby voice” before the younger lad kissed their son and tickled him. He couldn’t get over how cute his boyfriend was with the twins, always doting on them and spoiling them beyond belief.

“You’re cute,” Louis muttered, earning a side glare from the younger lad.

“Whatever,” Harry rolled his eyes, gently placing Bennett in the sand and watching as he reached for it curiously. “What do you think handsome?” he asked, kissing his son’s hair and smiling as he saw the 3 month old hit the sand and gurgle to himself.

“Well I know this little girl loves it,” Louis said, grinning down at Riley as she kicked at the sand and squealed to herself.

“Daddy! Papa!! I wanna take the twins swimming!!”

“They’re too little for that buddy,” Harry said sadly, himself wishing he could take them swimming. “How about you show them how to make a sandcastle?”

Holden huffed but nodded anyway, making sure to give both his little siblings a kiss before he went to work in the sand. “I like your hat Riley, very cute,” he smiled over at his sister, getting a wide grin back from her even though she had no clue what he said.

“Yeah, isn’t she a pretty thing,” Zayn came up to them, throwing himself into the sand next to Louis. “So what’s the plan for our first night here? Maybe a little clubbing?”

“I am so down for that,” Niall nodded along.

“We were actually thinking of going to the boardwalk,” Louis said, earning blank stares back from their mates.

“Okay, what about after that? C’mon the kids go to bed at like 8, we can party afterwards,” Zayn suggested. “Have Robin and Anne watch them, we’ll pick up Gem Charlie and Ed and go out.”

Louis bit his lip as he glanced over at Harry, seeing the younger lad shrugging and leaving it up to him. He hasn't been out to club in nearly a year, and that was only after Harry won his Grammy’s. But a night out with everyone wouldn’t hurt, especially since they haven’t gone out much since the twins were born or even while he was pregnant.

“Uhm yeah, sure. Sounds like fun.”

Harry looked over at his boyfriend surprised, raising his eyebrows at him and only seeing the younger lad shrug and offer him a small smile. But he wasn’t going to argue with him, not in the slightest if it meant a night of fun with all their mates.

*~*

“Harry c’mon! Everyone is waiting in the car!!”

“I’m coming!” Harry yelled back, brushing his fingers through his hair one more time and checking himself in the mirror before he made his way downstairs.

“Oh sweetheart, don’t you look nice!” Anne said happily as she looked at her son and adjusted a squirming Riley in her arms.

“Thanks, mum,” Harry said softly, kissing her cheek and then smiling down at his daughter. “Okay so the twins usually go down around 8 but because we went to the boardwalk they’ll be a bit more tired and can get put down earlier. Riley is always a bit fussy but Benji will knock right out as soon as you put him down, and don’t forget they liked to be sang to and Riley has her favorite stuffed animal and Bennett has his favorite blanket in their cribs and-”

“Harry, love, it’s okay,” Anne chuckled as she rubbed her son’s back. “I know how to take care of kids, I had two myself,” she said teasingly.

“I know, I know, but-” Harry stopped himself, letting out a small breath as he looked down at his little girl. “We haven’t left them for a night yet and m’just nervous. I’m gonna miss them.”

“It’s not like we’re never coming back love,” Louis said, pressing a quick kiss to the younger lad’s cheek as he bounced Bennett in his arms. “But we do have to get going, Ed is a second away from driving off without us.”

Harry huffed but nodded anyway, taking Riley from his mum and hugging her gently. “I love you babygirl, we’ll see you in the morning,” he whispered, peppering her face with kisses until she giggled and squealed in his arms.

Louis did the same to Bennett, kissing him all over his chubby face before passing him to Harry and then taking Riley. He wasn’t going to lie, he was going to miss the kids too, but he was also a bit excited to just go out with Harry and have a small break.

“Goodnight handsome man, papa loves you,” Harry said softly, cuddling his son into his chest and kissing his head. “Where’s our other kid? We’re missing one.”

“Here!” Holden said, running into the foyer and hugging his papa tightly. “Don’t worry papa I take care of the twins, it’s okay!”

“Oh good, thank you, buddy,” Harry smiled down at the 5 year old and hugging him back with his free arm.

Louis smiled at the two before giving Riley to Anne and pulling Holden into his chest. “You be good for nana and grandpa alright? We’ll see you in the morning big guy, love you.”

“Love you too,” Holden said into his daddy’s neck, hugging him back.

Harry released a deep breath as he realized they actually had to go and leave the kids. “Okay, well we’ll miss you guys, have fun tonight,” he said, passing his mum Bennett and making sure the twins were secure with her before offering them a tight lines smile.

“Say bye bye to papa and daddy,” Holden said, showing his baby siblings how to wave goodbye.

Harry and Louis gave them all one sad final wave, smiling at the twins as they stared blankly at them and left the house to get in the car. “Will they even realize we’re gone? Like what if Riley starts to really act up and my mum doesn’t know that she likes it when we-”

“Love, stop, it’ll be fine,” Louis said through a small laugh, opening the car for the younger lad and climbing in after him.

“Finally!! My God, we know you love your hair H, but seriously if I ever have to wait 15 minutes for your arse again I’m just gonna leave,” Ed said, immediately putting the car in drive once the two were settled.

“None of you have kids so shut up, it’s hard leaving them,” Harry grumbled as he slumped in his seat.

“Aw c’mon Harry don’t be a downer, the kiddos will be fine,” Gemma said, ruffling her little brother’s hair, making him slap her hand away.

“I get it H, the twins are so fuckin cute I wouldn’t leave them either. Plus Holden is like the life of the party, it’s hard to be away from him,” Niall sympathized.

Harry rolled his eyes, thinking if the Irish lad kept talking about how great his kids are he might as well just go back home and stay with them for the night.

“H,” Louis said softly, squeezing his boyfriend's leg. “It’s okay, really… We’re gonna have a great time tonight and tomorrow we’ll have a fun family day, yeah? Loosen up a bit, have some fun.”

Harry breathed out a “yeah”, never thinking leaving the kids for a night would be so hard for him. It may have taken him the entire car ride to not think about the kids and actually start to relax and realize this was his night off from spit up stained tees and poop on him but when they got to the club Harry was excited about just spending the night with his boyfriend.

“Alright, boys drinks first and then we’ll get our dance on!!” Ed said excitedly draping his arms over Louis and Harry’s shoulders as they made their way inside. “Lou I expect you to be drooling you’re so drunk by the end of the night, let’s go!!”

Louis rolled his eyes, for once excited about drinking and partying a bit. It was nice to finally go out and let loose, and not have to worry about feeding one of the twins or entertaining Holden for the night.

“C’mon love, drink up, that’s the only way I’ll get you out on the dancefloor!” Louis yelled over the music, already sipping at his drink.

Harry let out a small laugh as he looked down at the older lad, but went quiet once he glanced over at the bar. “I uhm… I dunno if I should be drinking.”

“What? Why?”

“It’s just… Last time we went out I got hammered and you were babysitting me all night and then the next day I had a hangover and couldn’t go out with H even though I promised him I would, and I just don’t want to fuck up again. I can’t go back to how I was before...”

Louis looked at his boyfriend softly, saw how scared he was that he would slip back into his heavy drinking days. “Love you don’t have to if you don’t want to of course,” he said quietly. “But you also know your limit, you know when to stop, and it’s also okay to have a drink or two.”

Harry bit his lip as he looked back over at the bar, slowly shaking his head as he wrapped his arms around the older lad. “Maybe I’ll have a beer a little later.”

“Whatever you want love,” Louis said, standing on his toes and kissing the younger lad.

Harry smiled against Louis, squeezing his side gently before slowly pulling away. “Finish that up, we have dancin to do.”

Louis laughed to himself, chugging back the rest of his drink before grabbing Harry’s hand and pulling him towards the hoards of dancing people.

*~*

Harry let out a deep breath as he was pushed into their bedroom, Louis’ arms immediately wrapping around his neck and pulling him down for a hard kiss. And just at feeling the older lad’s lips on his, his hands traveling anywhere they could and their clothed hards being pressed together Harry couldn’ help the low moan escape from the back of his throat.

“You okay?”

All Louis did was hum as he rushed to pull his shirt off, placing his hands on Harry’s chest and staggering them towards the bed. In all honesty, Louis doesn’t even know how they made it out of the club or didn’t even escape to the bathroom for a blowjob. The entire night Harry was on him, grinding against him and teasing him and Louis was a second away from exploding.

“Love you’re drunk are you sure you’re okay with this?” Harry asked, trying to catch his breath as he watched Louis already pulling off his shorts on the bed.

“You’re drunk too,” Louis slurred slightly as rolled his eyes, and as soon as his shorts were off he reached for the younger lad, yanking his shirt off and pulling him so he was hovering over him.

“Just a tiny bit tipsy,” Harry laughed against Louis’ mouth, only having a few beers the entire night.

Louis could barely comprehend what Harry had said, more focused on the younger lad moving on top of him and circling his hips, making their hards meet and a quiet groan escape Louis as he threw his head back against the pillow.

He doesn’t even know that last time they had sex, which definitely wasn’t okay. And the worst part is, is that’s it’s not like they haven’t tried. Sure, some nights they fall into completely exhausted, not even having enough energy to change or shower, but most nights they’re interrupted by a very loud cry coming over the baby monitor. Not tonight though, Louis wasn’t going to allow that to happen.

“Fuck Lou,” Harry barely managed, detaching his lips from the older lad’s neck as he felt just how hard Louis was.

“Please, yeah, do that, fuck Lou,” Louis said, squeezing his eyes shut and curling his toes as he felt Harry palming him through his boxers, wanting them off, wanting Harry’s pants off and to just get on with it.

Harry looked at the older lad for a second, swallowing thickly and nodding furiously before he reached for his pants button and yanked them off in a hurry. He was trying to move as quickly as possible, reaching for a condom and lube in the bedside table but clearly it wasn’t quick enough before Louis’ boxers were already off and the older lad was jerking himself off.

His eyes widened, feeling himself still at the sight before him. But God did Harry want to touch him, want to help him and for the first time in what seemed like forever actually have sex with his boyfriend.

“Lay back love, I have ya,” he said, hovering over Louis and immediately began trailing kisses down the older lad’s neck, chest, stomach, nipping and sucking along the way until he got down to his inner thigh.

Harry could almost feel Louis’ thighs shaking, his fingers getting lost in his curls the further and further he went down on the older lad. But when he got to the older lad’s length and took him into his mouth is when Harry really saw Louis squirming, heard his shaky breaths and felt him tugging at his curls.

He loved doing this to the older lad, loved to watch as he completely fell apart at just his mouth. The noises that would escape Louis, how he couldn’t stay still, how he was always aching for more. And Harry had no problem giving him more as he bobbed his head, allowing the older lad’s length to hit the back of his throat and making Louis let out a whine. But when he managed to slick up his fingers with lube, keeping his mouth around Louis’ length and circled at his hole with his first finger is when Louis really began to lose it.

Harry glanced up, seeing the older nodding furiously as he arm was flung over his face, trying to calm down. He pushed in carefully, slowly stretching the younger lad but at the same time curving his finger and feeling for his bundle of nerves. And Harry knew when he hit it because Louis let out a low moan and began mumbling nonsense to himself to relax.

He hit the spot over and over again, Louis’ breathing becoming more and more rapid with every finger he added, the older lad’s chest and forehead almost coated in sweat as he began to completely shake under him.

“You ready love?” Harry asked softly, coming back up to Louis and pressing gentle kisses everywhere he could reach, just needing to feel the older.

“Yeah, yeah,” Louis breathed out, trying to calm himself and not get too overwhelmed too quickly.

Harry smiled down at the older lad as he hovered over him, thinking of just how gorgeous Louis was like this, thought about how much he really loved him. And he couldn’t help himself as he dipped his head and kissed his boyfriend heavily, wanted him to know, to understand how he felt. But when Harry heard the condom wrapper rip open and felt Louis putting it on him his thoughts went to trying to hold back a loud moan at feeling the older lad around him.

He got it, Louis really, really wanted him to get on with it, so Harry did. He placed his hands on either side of the older lad’s head, steadying himself and letting out a few deep breaths as he aligned himself and slowly pushed in.

Under him Louis’ eyes were closed shut, his mouth hung open and silent pleas escaping him as he squeezed at the younger lad’s sides. Once Harry was completely in though he was sure Louis would leave bruises, he was always famous for that or scratch marks down his back, but it’s not like he minded, not in the slightest.

“You good?” Harry asked, resting his forehead against the older lad’s temple, nearly shaking at just being inside Louis.

Louis let out a few deep breaths, nodding and reaching to cup Harry’s cheeks and bringing him in for a soft kiss. But it wasn’t even a second later the younger lad was moving, carefully pulling out and pushing back in. At the feeling Louis gasped, Harry’s pace quickening a he ground into him, pulling back and snapping his hips forward.

Over and over again he did this until Louis was a shaking mess under him until he himself was sweating and breathing heavily into the older lad’s neck. His arms gave out from under him the faster he went, his moans being muffled into Louis’ skin.

“Love you so much,” he barely managed to groan out, feeling Louis’ nails dig into his skin, their slick chests colliding with each thrust. “Fuck I… I want to spend the rest of my life with you,” Harry said, Louis letting out a whine not even a second later. “Every second of every day, you and me, just like how it’s supposed to be.”

Louis threw his head back against the pillow, little noises escaping him with every thrust, feeling himself ready to let go with what Harry just said.

“It’s okay love, you’re okay,” Harry said softly, close to releasing before he reached for the older lad’s length and pumping it time with his thrusts.

Louis was a writhing mess under him, his chest heaving, high pitched moans escaping him and fingers gripping the younger lad like his life depended on it. And with each thrust, each kiss and soft word Harry said Louis was that much closer coming to his end. But when the younger lad began to make jerky movements, himself about to release Louis was about to lose it as he heard his boyfriend whisper “I love you” over and over again in his ear. And with one more thrust he was done, Louis couldn’t stop the stream of white that shot across his and Harry’s chest, the younger lad letting himself go inside the condom right after him.

The only thing heard in the silent room was there heavy breathing and the gentle kisses Harry placed onto Louis’ sweaty skin before slowly pulling out.

The older lad watched as his boyfriend rolled off him, reaching over the side of the bed to throw the condom out but his mind was racing, his breathing heavy. “Did you mean it…?”

Harry barely heard Louis, slowly facing back towards the older lad and resting on his side to look at him. “Mean what?”

“That you… You want to spend the rest of your life with me.”

Harry felt a slow wide smile over him, a quiet laugh escaping him as he rested against his pillow. “Of course Lou,” he said softly, reaching for the older lad and pulling him into his chest.

Louis had to bite his lip to stop his own growing smile as he settled against his boyfriend, thinking that yeah, he could spend the rest of his life with Harry too.

*~*

“I don’t know about this Harry…” Louis said unsurely as he bounced Bennett on his chest.

“Babe c’mon, you’ve sung live in front of millions before, why are you so nervous now?”

Louis opened and closed his mouth as he glanced over at the recording booth and shook his head. “I dunno, it’s just… Like this is going on an album and people will hear it over and over again and-”

“And you’re making excuses,” Harry laughed. “Love we’ll record it and after that if you don’t want your voice on there fine, I’ll get someone else to sing it with me.”

Louis thought about it for a second, glancing down at his baby boy and seeing the 4 month old smiling at him. “Fine,” he muttered.

Harry had to stop himself from almost jumping for joy. “Great! Fantastic even!!” he said excitedly, clapping his hands together. “C’mere Benji, you get to hear your daddies make some music.”

Louis rolled his eyes fondly as Harry took Bennett from him and placed him in the rocker next to Holden who was coloring. He couldn’t even express how grateful he was to Anne and Gemma for taking Riley out for a “girls day”.

“You have the music and everything?”

Harry nodded, unable to wipe the smile off his face as he passed his boyfriend the sheet music. “H you watch your brother okay? Daddy and I will just be in the booth.”

“Okay, make sure to have the sound on so I can hear too,” Holden said, never looking up from his drawing.

“You got it, big guy,” Harry said, holding the door to the booth open for Louis and following him. “Alright my love, put on some headphones, get comfy and we’ll get started.”

Louis let out a deep breath, trying his hardest to calm down as he watched Harry pick up his guitar and sling it over his shoulder. He did as he was told, getting headphones and putting them on before looking over the sheet music. The words and harmonies were amazing of course, and just at looking it over Louis could tell when Harry wrote this. The time when they were dating all those years ago and didn’t communicate about a thing didn’t talk to each other right before everything went to shit.

“Ready Lou?” Harry asked, getting his own headphones on.

Louis let out one final deep breath before nodding at his boyfriend and offering him a small smile. And the grin he got back from Harry was almost blinding before the younger lad started, the music immediately filling their headphones as Harry nodded and strum along.  **[(X)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=laMRnnGgXo0)**

Louis couldn’t believe the music Harry already recorded for this, it was amazing. He kept his eyes on the music, waiting for his cue to come in after Harry started singing and as soon as it was his turn he opened his mouth. His smile only growing as he realized that it actually sounded great, and when their voices melded together it was even better.

Louis could see Holden dancing on the other side of the glass, showing his brother how to move like a popstar and if possible both Louis and Harry’s smiles grew at the sight. And when the song was over Louis didn’t want it to end, and Holden didn’t either as he whined a bit, but the blue eyed lad had never had so much fun singing before.

“What’d you think?”

“You have any other duets?” Louis asked through a sheepish laugh, now more than ever willing to help his boyfriend out with whatever he needed.

“Well let’s look through my stack of songs I’ve yet to record,” Harry said happily, now thinking he may just write new duets for them. “Alright, I’m warning you now, I wrote most of these when I was drunk.”

Louis raised his eyebrows at his boyfriend, thinking this would be more than entertaining. “And yet you think they’re good enough to put on the album?”

Harry nodded and laughed to himself as he led Louis over to his desk. “They’re hilarious, so yeah,” he said, passing Louis a few songs.

Louis rolled his eyes fondly at the younger lad before looking over the lyrics, and he couldn’t lie, they were quite ridiculous, but still good. “Who’s Mr.Jones?”  **[(X)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VuHVZ_-b868)**

“A type of whisky I’m rather fond of.”

Louis hummed, looking over the next one. “Love what the hell is this?” he asked, reading over the lyrics and letting out a booming laugh. “If you had a million dollars you would buy an emu?”  **[(X)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V8zdNe_l3M8)**  (A/N Please listen because this song is hilarious, especially if you think about Louis and Harry singing it)

Harry couldn’t help but laugh himself at that one, this song definitely being more creative than his other ones. “Alright, in my defence I was hammered, and it was during our break up. I was writing about how if I had all this money all the stuff we would spend it on and all the things I would buy you if we were together.”

Louis bit his lip as he scanned over the paper again and nodded. “We’ll sing this one together, yeah? We can make it real fun.”

Harry looked back at his boyfriend, a small smile coming to him as he nodded back at him. And so the two sat down and figured out how this song will go, and when it came time to record it Holden, Harry and Louis were straining not to laugh.

Eventually, they got through it, but it took a good two hours and by then everyone was pouring into the home for dinner after their days in the LA sun. But even after dinner Harry and Louis took their three kids up to the music studio and Harry played everything he had so far for the album, and to say this would be one of the best albums Louis has ever heard would be a huge understatement.

*~*

“Oh yeah, here we go, it’s tummy time,” Harry said gently placing Bennett next to a gurgling and happy squealing Riley on the floor. “You love to roll around, huh babygirl?” he smiled at the 6 month old, earning a wide smile and even louder squeal from his daughter.

Harry could never get over how happy the twins were, always smiling and giggling. Riley was definitely more vocal about it, but Bennett was always right there with his sister, kicking his chubby little legs excitedly and waving his arms around. But both of them absolutely loved tummy time, laying down on a blanket and just rolling around and playing with their toys. Not only that, but Harry loved it too because it gave him time to relax with the two of them and let Louis work on his class schedule for the upcoming school year.

It was crazy how fast time was flying, the summer almost over, the twins already 6 months old and Holden getting ready for his second year at school. They would be leaving LA in two weeks and in those two weeks Harry was determined to have the most fun possible with his family and mates.

“Papa did they sit up yet?” Holden asked, carrying a snack into the living room and plopping down right next to his siblings.

“If you help them buddy, but they can’t by themselves yet,” Harry said, making faces at his babyboy as he laid down in front of him, getting a wide grin back from Bennett.

Holden glanced down at his sister, carefully lifting her up and sitting her up so she was resting back against his chest. “Don’t worry Riley, one day you can do it all by yourself,” he said, kissing his sister’s head and earning a loud squeal from her.

Harry looked over to the 5 year old, his own grin widening as he saw the two. But that was just before he felt a little hand on his face, Bennett reaching for his nose and mouth. “Alright handsome, go easy on me,” he said, blowing a raspberry on the 6 months old cheek and making him laugh.

“You two are the happiest babies ever,” Holden giggled as he looked at the twins.

Harry hummed his agreement but that was before he glanced over at Riley and made a funny stern face at her. “This little girl can get a little grumpy though, huh sweetheart?”

“She get’s a little grumpy,” Holden shrugged. “No matter what she’s still cute.”

Harry scoffed, thinking that the 5 year old wouldn’t be saying that if he was the one getting up two or three times a night because Riley just wanted to be held. But even he had to say that when he got up at odd hours of the night yeah, the twins were still very cute.

And of course, just as he was thinking about how cute his kids were Bennett began to whimper, which then turned into a loud cry. It wasn’t often he cried, but when he did he needed something like to get his diaper changed or he was hungry. Harry just changed his diaper, so that only left one option.

“H I’m gonna go make you brother a bottle real quick, okay? Can you watch them for a minute?”

Holden nodded, reaching over and gently rubbing his baby brother’s back to calm him down but then also making sure Riley was sitting upright against his chest. “I got them papa, it’s okay,” he said, earning a small smile back from his father.

As soon as his papa left the room Holden tried shushing his brother, never liking it when one of them cry, he didn’t want them sad.

“You know you guys are real lucky,” Holden said quietly, pulling his sister impossibly closer and kissing his brother’s head. “When I was a baby like you I didn’t have papa, just daddy… But you get both and you lucky cause papa is the best papa ever.”

Holden wiped Bennett’s eyes and rested his head against Riley’s, a small smile coming to him as he saw his baby brother calming down.

“I really love papa and daddy and I know you do too. They real funny and silly and daddy is super smart and papa make the best music,” Holden said softly, just talking about his daddies made him happy. “And you know if you ever get sad they always there for you, no matter what. They the best daddies in the world.”

He smiled to himself, thinking about all the fun he’s got up to with his daddies, how they always find a way to make him laugh.

“You know when I little I think that I only have daddy,” Holden bit his lip as he rubbed his baby brother’s back. “And we happy but then papa come and we got even more happy. Me and daddy laugh lots more cause of papa and daddy always smiling with papa. They fall in love again I guess and it real gross but Niall say that love makes a baby and there’s two of you so that’s a lot of love,” he huffed, running his little hand through his hair. “I really happy papa come back… He’s the best papa in the whole world.”

And it was only when Holden heard soft footsteps come into the room did he pick his head up from looking at his baby siblings. His eyes immediately landing on his papa, his father clutching a bottle in one hand while the other wiped his cheeks.

“Papa?” Holden asked worriedly. “Papa what’s wrong?”

Harry shook his head as he sniffled to himself and knelt down, carefully wrapping his arms around the 5 year old and kissing his head. He had heard everything Holden said over the baby monitor, and it took everything in him to not just start sobbing as he listened to his son.

“I love you buddy, I love you so much,” he said, kissing his son over and over again.

“Well love makes you happy, not sad,” Holden said like it was obvious as he pat his father’s hair, wanting him to calm down. “And I love you too.”

Harry let out a watery chuckle as he felt his son kiss his cheek and give him one more hug. But of course, it was only a second later Bennett was crying again, seeing his bottle and not understanding why no one was feeding him yet. So Harry picked up his wailing son and quieted his cries as he put the bottle in his mouth.

He couldn’t even say how grateful he was at how easy of a baby Bennett was. But then again Riley could be a little menace at times so maybe she just got her brother’s moodiness while Bennett was left as the happiest baby alive. And when his babyboy was done eating it was clear just how happy of a baby he was, squealing and clinging to his papa before reaching for the floor, wanting to roll around. But of course Holden was already on the floor with Riley, trying to show her how to roll and she just looked at her big brother blankly before giggle.

Harry couldn’t help himself as he pulled out his phone at seeing his three kids on the floor, Bennett rolling around and squealing, kicking his little legs and thrashing his arms around as Holden tried to get Riley to copy him. He took a video, his smile never leaving his face as the 5 year old explained how to roll and Riley just stared at him while Bennett was all over the floor, moving one way and then the next. And Harry may or may not have pulled up Twitter, attaching the video and sending it out for the world to see his cute kiddos.

**@Harry_Styles: Rollie pollies X**

*~*

Louis felt a shiver run down his spine at the cool England September air, rolling over in bed and pulling the covers even closer to his chest as he made himself comfortable. But as he rolled over he faced Harry, his squinted eyes just barely seeing his boyfriend laying on his back and staring up at the ceiling.

So Louis reached a gentle hand over, running it down the younger lad’s chest and cuddling into his side. “What’s on your mind love?” he asked quietly, Harry clearly having one of his late night thoughts.

Harry was quiet for a second, wrapping an arm around Louis’ waist and resting his chin on his boyfriend’s head. “You love me, yeah?” he asked so softly he wasn’t sure if he was heard.

At that Louis opened his eyes fully and slowly picked his head off of Harry’s chest, looking at him like he had gone mad. “Of course H,” he said almost nervous, not knowing why he would question such a thing.

Harry kept his eyes on the ceiling, pulling Louis impossibly closer as he let out a deep breath. “Enough to marry me?”

Louis felt himself still completely, swallowing thickly and just as he opened his mouth Harry stopped him.

“I mean, this isn’t me asking you, I just wanted to know… Like I would’ve gotten down on one knee and made a huge production of it if I was asking,” Harry laughed, seeing the older lad’s shocked face. “But it’s… It’s just something I’ve been thinking about.”

Louis had to bite back a wide smile as he heard the younger lad, shaking his head and trying not to laugh himself at what Harry was saying. “I love you H… I love you enough to marry you.”

And finally Harry looked down at him, his smile blinding before he cupped his boyfriend’s cheek and pulled him in for a soft kiss, and God, he couldn’t wait to spend the rest of his life with this man.

*~*

“Holden Edward Tomlinson homework first and then play time!” Louis called after his son as he followed him into the house, seeing he was beelining it to find the twins.

“But daddy,” Holden whined. “The twins are crawling more and I’m helping them learn stuff!”

“Yeah, well you have stuff to learn too big guy, homework,” he said, pointing the breakfast bar stool as he placed his own work bag down and took off his coat.

Holden groaned but slumped over to the breakfast bar anyway, getting his homework out of his bag before he heard loud squealing and giggling, followed by seeing his papa crawling after the twins and into the kitchen.

“How come papa gets to play?!”

“Because papa passed year 2,” Louis said with raised eyebrows, his smirk almost immediately getting wiped off his face as Harry surprised attacked him in kisses. “Hello my love, good day?” he laughed against his boyfriend as he wrapped his arms around his neck.

“Great day,” Harry hummed, tucking his head into the older lad’s neck and hugging him. “The twins and I crawled and had some amazing baby cereal if I do say so myself, and we recorded and finished a few songs and went shopping.”

“Busy day,” Louis said surprised. “What’d you have to go shopping for? I just did food shopping a few days ago.”

“Wasn’t for food love,” Harry said, kissing his boyfriend one more time and before he could ask anything else he began to chase the twins, only making them squeal and try to crawl away from him.

Louis watched after Harry, a fond grin coming over him as he saw his boyfriend and the twins. But of course then there was Holden, moping to himself as he did his homework, and clearly wanted to play.

They’ve been back to school for almost a two weeks now and so far the 5 year old was doing more than amazing. Maybe this one night Louis could let him play and then continue homework later. And when he told Holden he doesn’t think he’s ever seen his son run so fast to find the twins. As soon as he did though Harry came back into the kitchen laughing.

“Does this mean I get you all to myself for a bit then?”

Harry hummed and smiled down at the older lad before resting his hands on Louis’ hips and pulling him into his chest. “Don’t you have some grading to do?” he teased, pressing his lips to his boyfriend’s neck.

“Eh, this seems a bit more important,” Louis chuckled, grinning back at Harry just before pulling him down so their lips could meet. “I’m still not used to being back at school, I miss spending my day with you and the twins.”

“Yeah, we are pretty great,” Harry joked, earning an eye roll from the older lad. “But we miss you too, obviously.”

Louis tried not to squirm in his boyfriend’s arms and laugh as he felt him kissing and nipping at his neck, squeezing his arse and making sure there was absolutely no room between them.

“Are you sure it isn’t just you who misses me?”

“Maybe,” Harry mumbled, refusing to let go of the older lad. “Wanna come upstairs with me? I wanna show you a few songs I got done.”

“I suppose we can leave the kiddos for a few minutes.”

Harry pecked Louis’ lips one more time, taking him by the hand and leading him upstairs to the music room before sitting behind his desk and getting everything situated. “Alright, so you’ve listened to and are a part of most of the album and today I finished editing the songs we did together. So I only have two more to write, but here're the other ones we did.”

Louis couldn’t help the smile that came to him as he listened to the songs, them being even better than he remembered when they sang them. He couldn’t even say how proud he was of Harry for this album. Some songs were a new sound for Harry but overall Louis loved the album. If anything he was surprised he was on half the album with his boyfriend but the fact that they were able to do this together meant more than anything.  **[(X)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7rGxRK2lTaQ) [(X)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kUjVDjteHs8) [(X)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LyIeRiwyT1g)**

“Those sound absolutely incredible love,” he said softly once the songs were done. “Do you know what you’re naming the album yet?”

“I do,” Harry nodded, smiling back at his boyfriend. “I was thinking “Unreleased”. What do you think?”

Louis hummed, that sounding perfect as most of the songs Harry wrote years and years ago. “I love it.”

Harry’s smile only grew as he heard that, finally feeling like this album was really coming together. “I also have some news,” he said, and when the older lad nodded at him he continued. “So after the album is released I had the idea of doing a live show in London, me singing all the songs off the album and a few others. But what’s cool is that we’re gonna record it, like a movie and put it out on dvd for fans to buy since I won’t be going on tour.”

Louis raised his eyebrows, that sounding like more than a brilliant idea. “And you came up with that?” he teased.

“Don’t act so surprised,” Harry joked back. “But I pitched the idea to James at the record label today and he loves it, so it’s a go.”

“That’s fantastic H,” Louis said softly, grinning back at him as he saw how happy he was. “So when is all this happening then?”

“Well the album will be done in about two weeks, the release date is October 25th and the concert will be a week after that. I was even thinking of doing a contest, ya know giving away tickets and the whole meet and greet thing before the concert.”

“Such a sweetheart,” Louis breathed out, looking at his boyfriend with the most dramatic fond face he could muster.

Harry rolled his eyes playfully, not needing any of this sass. “I have big plans Lou… Just you wait,” he muttered.

At that Louis raised his eyebrows, it seeming like the younger lad had something else up his sleeve. But before he could even ask the two heard a loud cry over the baby monitor and then a bark followed by a yell from Holden.

Louis let out a quiet breath, thinking they better get down there before the house bursts into flames. He followed the noise of the cry, it not so surprisingly coming from Riley and just by glancing at Bennett he knew why his little girl was shrieking.

“Benji you can’t keep taking your sister’s binky,” he huffed, scooping up Riley and kissing her head to calm her down. “It’s okay sweet girl, you’re okay.”

“Benji c’mon buddy,” Harry groaned, that being maybe the fifth time today he’s done that to his sister. “You have your own binky,” he huffed, Bennett now constantly taking his binky out, only to take Riley’s from her own mouth and plopping it in his.

“I told him to stop papa,” Holden shook his head as he crossed his arms over his chest.

Louis laughed to himself, reminding Holden over and over again that the twins can’t understand him just yet. But instead, he focused more on the little girl in his arms, rubbing her back and hugging her to his chest as she sniffled and snuggled against him.

“My little girl, I hate seeing you upset,” he muttered, wiping his babygirl’s wet cheeks. “You wanna come grade some homework with daddy? We can get away from all these gross and mean boys.”

Both Holden and Harry’s jaws went slack, even little Bennett was staring at his daddy blankly. So Louis took that as a yes, smiling at his boys before kissing Riley one more time, getting his work bag and heading towards the office to grade.

*~*

Louis let out a frustrated groan as he walked across the room to Harry’s dresser, opening his drawer and looking through his boxers, trying to find a pair that might fit him.

“Lou? No, no, no! What’re you doing?!”

Louis backed away from the dresser as Harry rushed towards him and slammed the drawer shut, looking at him wide-eyed. “I ran out of briefs, geez,” he said, adjusting the towel wrapped around his waist.

“Well fine, here then,” Harry rushed out, shoving a pair in the older lad’s hands before stepping in front of his dresser, not letting Louis get any closer.

Louis furrowed his eyebrows, Harry acting odd, even for him. “What’re you hiding?”

“Nothing,” Harry rushed out. “Just uh, just didn’t want you to mess up my uhm, I organized my briefs by color, I can’t have you wrecking it.”

“... Right,” Louis pursed his lips, not believing that for a second but waved it off as nothing anyway. “Babe have you seen my phone? I swear I left it on the bedside table but now it’s gone.”

“Nope, no clue,” and again Harry said it too quickly, Louis seeing right through his lie.

“What’s going on H?” he asked quietly, the younger lad acting strange for days now.

At first, he wouldn’t let him on the internet or use any computer and now his phone was missing and he freaked out when he looked through his drawer. Something had to be going on and at this point Louis was getting nervous.

“Lou it’s nothing, I’m just saying I don’t know where your phone is,” Harry muttered through a shrug, keeping his position in front of the dresser.

Louis opened and closed his mouth, not knowing why Harry would feel the need to lie to him, why he would keep secrets from him. “Did you like do something that you weren’t supposed to and the media found out or something? What’s with you disconnecting the wifi, taking my computer, my phone, and now-”

“Babe I have absolutely no clue what you’re talking about,” Harry said, trying his best to be convincing.

Louis bit his lip, now really feeling his nerves kick in. “What did you do?” he barely whispered, fearing the worst.

Harry’s face fell as he saw the look Louis was giving him, it almost seeming like the older lad was a second away from crying. “No, no, Louis I swear, please, please believe me, I just… It’s alright, I promise.”

“And that’s supposed to make me feel better how?  Especially with you acting like this.”

Harry opened and closed his mouth, knowing he couldn’t tell his boyfriend, it would absolutely ruin everything. Things have been more than amazing, especially with the album being released a week ago, it going straight to the top of the charts, but now here he was ruining everything when that’s the last thing he wanted to do.

“Please, can you just get ready? I swear it’ll all be alright, but we have to get going to the concert.”

Louis scoffed as he shook his head, now knowing Harry was hiding something from him. But he went into the bathroom anyways, changed and did his hair so he looked more than presentable for Harry’s concert movie or whatever he was calling it. The entire time though Louis couldn’t escape the thought of what Harry wasn’t telling him, and he didn’t know how long he could last without knowing what it was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only one more chapter :( Any thoughts as to what Harry is planning at the concert ;) Leave comments, share opinions,  
> thanks !! And know that I'm on [tumblr](http://lhstylinson9193.tumblr.com/) if you have any questions or want to see what I'll be writing next ! Thanks x


	22. Chapter 22

Harry smiled for the camera as he had has arms wrapped around two fans, making sure to give them both big hugs before saying his goodbyes and thanking them for coming.

That was the last of the fans for the meet and greet, and now it was just time to wait. And he knew the waiting, the anticipation will start to slowly kill him but it had to be done. At least Harry could try to distract himself with the twins and Holden as they played in the playpen together.

“What’re my monsters getting up to in here?” he asked, climbing over the gate and scooping Riley up, making the baby squeal and giggle.

“Papa are you done now?”

“Yeah, those were the last fans until the concert starts,” Harry said, making faces at Riley, only for the 7 month old to jump in her papa’s arms and reach for his nose. “What’d you think buddy, they were all nice huh?”

Holden hummed as he passed his brother his favorite stuffed animal, Bennett immediately putting it in his mouth. “Your fans come over here and they say how cute the twins are and they try to get a picture with me too.”

“Oh yeah?” Harry laughed, glancing over at Paul who was supposed to be watching them and seeing the older man trying to hide his own chuckle as he nodded.

“Yeah cause I just as famous as you,” Holden said as if his father should know this. “I gonna be just like you when I big and they want pictures of me when I little.”

Harry rolled his eyes fondly, but just as he was about to say something he saw Louis come into the dressing room. “Buddy I’m gonna talk to daddy for a second, okay?”

Holden muttered an “okay”, more focused on his baby brother anyway.

Harry shifted Riley on his chest as he made his way towards the older lad, but as soon as Louis saw him coming over to him he shook his head. “Louis nothing is going on, I swear,” he said, his boyfriend getting more and more annoyed with him as the night wore on.

“Seriously? So that’s why absolutely no one will tell me what the hell is going on? I went around asking every single person who is backstage and working, and none of them have let me use their phone so I can find mine. And you’re trying to tell me nothing is going on?”

“Yes,” Harry said almost firmly. “Just know that I didn’t do anything wrong, if anything it’s good, more than good. And if you give me until the end of the night I’ll show you,” he said much softer, taking a careful step towards the older lad.

Louis just looked at him for a moment, could see that he wasn’t lying, saw that he really didn’t do anything wrong. But he just wanted to know what everyone was hiding, why they were all being so careful and secretive around him.

“Fine,” he muttered. “But Harry I swear to God if you’re lying to me-”

“I’m not,” Harry said, wrapping his free arm around Louis and pulling him into his chest. “Trust me love, everything is going to be more than okay, you’ll see.”

Louis let out a quiet breath but wrapped his arms around the younger lad’s middle and nodded anyways. Harry loved him, he knew that, and Louis was sure whatever it was that was going on wasn’t as big of a deal as he was making it.

“I love you Louis,” Harry whispered into his boyfriend’s hair and kissing his temple. “It’s all going to be more than alright.”

And again Louis just nodded, muttering his “I love you’s” into Harry’s chest and standing on his toes to peck his cheek.

“We’re gonna have a great night, yeah?” Harry smiled down at him. “I’m so excited for you to be up there with me, it’s gonna be amazing.”

Louis couldn’t help the nervous laugh that escaped him as he scratched the back of his neck and hummed. To say he was mildly terrified of performing some of Harry’s songs with him in front of thousands of people would be a slight understatement.

The younger lad told him time and time again that he sounded more than great in rehearsal and that the fans would love it, but Louis was still a bit uneasy. He was sure he would stay that way too until he was off the stage and all of this was done, but in the very back of his head there was a tiny voice saying it wouldn’t be as bad as he thought it would be.

“I’m sure it’ll be fun, yeah,” Louis agreed through his most convincing smile as he took a squirming and whining Riley from his boyfriend’s arms as she reached for him. “Do we have someone to watch the kids when I’m on stage with you though?”

“Yeah, Paul.”

Louis glanced over at the large man who was standing near Bennett and Holden, watching them fondly as they played together. “Can he handle that…? I mean the twins and H are kinda rowdy and you know-”

“Louis please, it’s all alright,” Harry laughed, needing the older lad to relax. “Everything is all figured out, it’s perfect and planned and amazing, please just trust me.”

Louis opened his mouth, ready to protest because he really didn’t think Paul could handle the 3 kids. But Harry was just giving him this look, one that was pleading, and Louis gave in, saying a quiet “okay” and trusting whatever it was that Harry was doing tonight.

“Why don’t we feed the kiddos and just relax a bit before the show alright? You need to calm down before we go out there.”

“I am calm,” Louis huffed, pressing a kiss to Riley’s head as he rubbed her back. “I’m calm, aren’t I sweetheart?”

Harry looked between his boyfriend and daughter, Riley just staring at her daddy blankly before she started squealing and clapping her little hands together sloppily. “That’s a no,” he chuckled, patting the older lad’s bum quickly. “Now come sit and I’ll make you a plate.”

“Fine,” Louis breathed out, bringing Riley over to the couch and throwing himself down. “What about you my love? What do you want for dinner?” he asked the 7 month old, getting a loud “da da da” in return as she bounced on his lap.

“Tonight we’re having sweetpeas,” Harry said, scooping Bennett out of the playpen and smiling widely at him. “That sounds yummy, doesn’t it big boy?” he asked, pressing a sloppy kiss to the baby’s cheek and making him giggle.

“Sounds gross to me,” Holden muttered, already heading towards the table set up with food and getting himself a plate.

“Yeah well it used to be your favorite so shush up,” Louis smirked over at the 5 year old, seeing Holden roll his eyes playfully at him. “My little miss loves her sweetpeas, doesn’t she?”

Riley just gurgled in her daddy’s lap, shoving her fingers in her mouth and slobbering up her hand. And for the next hour she continued to make a mess of herself, getting her dinner all over her face and clothes while Bennett next her on her papa’s lap stayed clean and pristine.

Louis swears the twins couldn’t be more different and yet they absolutely hate to be separated. But if anything having this time to wind down and relax with the kids and Harry did calm Louis down. He didn’t think about why his boyfriend was acting so weird, or even let his nerves about performing get to him. Well, that was until they were called into hair and makeup, then Louis was right back to his nervous self.

“Well look at you handsome,” Harry teased, glancing over at his boyfriend next to him and winking at him.

“This will be the only time you’ll see me in makeup, I swear,” Louis laughed, not believing this was even happening.

“H, you just about ready? Your opening is just about done, we have to get you set up,” Clara said as she came into the room.

Harry nodded, letting out a deep breath and hopping out of his seat. “Everything is ready out there?” he asked, sending Clara a silent look, needing everything to go perfectly.

“All ready,” Clara winked at him before shifting her gaze to Louis and smiling at him. “You excited for tonight Lou?”

“Uhm, yeah, you could say that,” Louis said through a nervous laugh. “I just hope I don’t mess up or anything.”

“You won’t. You have an amazing voice,” Clara said softly, giving his shoulder a gentle squeeze.

Louis offered her a grateful smile, still trying to push past his nerves but he knew as soon as he stepped on stage with Harry they would only get worse. Maybe while the younger lad was doing the first part of his set Louis would try to relax and get comfortable, but he wasn’t sure how successful he’d be at that.

“It’ll be amazing love,” Harry said, kissing his boyfriend’s cheek and rubbing his back. “Let’s grab the kiddos and head out there, yeah?”

Louis nodded, grabbing Bennett from the playpen as Harry got Riley and Holden followed them out of them room. They made sure the kids had their headphones on and they were comfortable as they walked around backstage and went to get Harry ready with his earpieces and guitar.

“I really wish Ed or Niall was here,” Louis said quietly as he watched his boyfriend get everything situated. “Or even Zayn or your family. I sure could’ve used their help with the kids.”

“Yeah I uhm, I know they all wanted to come… Sucks they’re all busy,” Harry muttered before he kissed Riley and passed her to Paul.

Louis hummed, it being so odd that they would all be busy, especially Harry’s family as this was important to him, he thought they would’ve loved to be here. “Well they’ll see it when it comes out on dvd I suppose.”

Harry let out a quiet laugh as he nodded to himself and straightened his guitar strap over his shoulder. Just thinking about tonight, thinking about what he was going to do had him beyond nervous. Harry thought he was doing a somewhat decent job at hiding it, but now looking out towards the stage and picturing what it would be like had him shaking in his shoes.

“You alright love?” Louis asked with furrowed eyebrows. “The show will be amazing, don’t think about the cameras, it’s okay.”

“Yeah, yeah, it’s the cameras I’m a bit nervous for,” Harry scratched the back of his neck sheepishly. “I’ll just pretend they’re not there I suppose.”

“There you go,” Louis smiled at him, pecking his cheek and squeezing his side.

Harry grinned back at him, dipping his head and kissing his boyfriend one more time before glancing back out towards the stage. Everything had to be perfect, and Harry was sure it would all go great.

The video he recorded and put online had millions of views, and Clara assured him the audience had watched it and they were ready for tonight as well. It was making sure Louis didn’t check his phone or go online the past week is what’s been troubling him, he couldn’t let the older lad find out, it would absolutely ruin everything. But it was clear Louis had no clue what was going on, and it was a complete relief to Harry that no one had said anything and he hadn’t seen the video.

“Alright H, you’re on in 5 minutes.”

Harry let out a deep breath, not sure if he could even wait until the end of the show before he just screamed his question at his boyfriend.

“Don’t be nervous papa, you’ll do great!!” Holden said happily, wrapping his arms around his father’s legs and giving him a big hug.

“Thanks buddy,” Harry laughed, squeezing the 5 year old back and kissing the top of his head.

And it was only a second later Riley started whining in Paul’s arms, seeing her big brother get attention from their papa and she wanted attention as well.

“You be good sweetheart. Don’t give Paul and daddy a hard time alright?” he asked, kissing the 7 month old all over her face.

In return his daughter mumbled to him, her usual “da da da” before sticking her fingers in her mouth and resting against Paul’s chest.

“And you big boy, you just be you,” Harry said, grinning at Bennett in Louis’ arms, knowing his little boy was the best behaved baby in the world.

He made sure to give Bennett a thousand kisses, only stopping when his little guy was squealing and giggling to himself. But then he turned his attention to Louis, his bright blue eyes trained on him and his smile so soft it made Harry’s heart melt at the sight of it.

“I love you,” he barely whispered, cupping his boyfriend’s cheek and rubbing his skin softly with his thumb before brushing their lips together. “I’ll see you out there, alright?”

“I’ll wait for my cue,” Louis said through a nervous grin, standing on his toes one more time to kiss the younger lad. “Good luck out there.”

Harry let out a quiet breath, nodding at Louis and thinking that in mere hours everything was going to change between them. But God, he couldn’t wait.

*~*

Harry let out a deep breath as he finished the song, smiling widely at the crowd and pulling his guitar off from over his shoulder. He passed it to a crew member, thanking the man before heading back towards the microphone and waving to some people as he began to walk around the huge stage.

“Alright how we doin so far?” he asked, earning a very, very loud cheer a second later, making his smile grow that much more. “Just what I like to hear!! Now for the next couple songs we have a very special guest! My boyfriend, the very talented and handsome Louis Tomlinson!!”

Louis may have been on the opposite end of the stage as he nervously shuffled on and waved slightly to the cameras and screaming crowd but Harry could still see his bright blush.

“How are you love? Feeling alright?” Harry teased as he made his way over to the older lad.

“Oh great, ya know, just uhm, just terrified,” Louis said through a nervous chuckle as he tried to not focus on the thousands of people watching him.

Harry laughed into his microphone, knowing the fans must be internally freaking out about his surprise. In his video he never said what exactly it was he was doing for Louis, only that he had something planned for him and he needed their help. But all in good time they would all find out.

“For those of you who don’t know Louis here is a high school drama teacher, the love of my life and the father to our three beautiful children, Holden, Bennett, and Riley,” Harry said, reaching for his boyfriend’s hand and tugging him closer to the front of the stage, making his cheeks that much more red as a goofy picture of the little family came onto the big screens. “And not only that but he has more than incredible voice as you’ve all heard on my new album!”

If possible the stadium erupted with the loudest cheers of the night, Harry looking over to Louis and offering him a reassuring smile. He could see how nervous the older lad was, but hopefully, after they did a song together Louis would see there was nothing to be scared of.

“So he’s gonna help me out here with the songs we did together on my album, hope you like it!” Harry said, winking over at his boyfriend and earning a subtle nod back from him. “Here’s [Little Do You Know](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L-lp2bejhm4).”

Louis let out a deep breath, trying his hardest to calm down as he watched Harry get a different guitar and slung it over his shoulder. This song he started first and he couldn’t mess up, not in front of all of these people and the cameras. But when Harry looked over at him, saw his soft smile and shining eyes for some reason he relaxed. Louis thought back to the days when they were in choir together when they did their duets and they were in a room full of people, but he only saw was the curly haired lad.

So Louis kept his eyes locked on Harry, a small smile coming to him as he saw the way the younger was looking at him so softly, with all the love in the world. He opened his mouth to sing just as Harry began picking his guitar and instead of a stadium full of people it was just them, like the old days.

And being up on stage with Harry, the two of them walking around and teasing each other as they sang, stealing kisses here and there, it wasn’t nearly as bad as Louis thought it would be. He was actually having an amazing time singing with Harry and the best part of it all was that they sounded incredible and the crowd loved it.

When they did the more fun and upbeat songs Louis actually found himself walking around the stage, waving to fans and smiling at the cameras before he caught Harry’s eye again and winked at him. And when they kissed Louis swears if he wasn’t wearing ear pieces he would’ve gone deaf from how loud they were screaming and yelling, but it was those moments he loved.

“I knew you would loosen up love, look at you, you’re a natural up here!”

Louis rolled his eyes playfully as he took a sip of his water, not needing to hear the whole “I told you so speech” from the younger lad. “Yes H, you’re very smart,” he said teasingly.

Harry hummed into his microphone, handing off his guitar again so he could have his hands free for the next few songs. “You know I never get nervous. I have nerves of steel.”

Louis looked over at his boyfriend like he was crazy before letting out a small laugh and shaking his head. “Need I remind you of your first stadium show with Ed, or even when the twins were born and you were terrified to hold them because you thought you would break them,” he joked. “I can tell you those nerves of steel you’re so proud of don’t exist my love.”

Harry laughed as the crowd did, playfully hitting the older lad’s bum as he eyed him. “Be nice,” he said before pecking his lips.

“M’being honest,” Louis mumbled against him, squeezing his side before slowly letting him go, the fans going crazier and crazier by the second as they watched the pair.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” Harry muttered. “We only have two more songs together so let’s pretend we actually like each other and get on with it then.”

“Aw c’mon H, you know I love you,” Louis chuckled into his microphone, hearing loud shrieks and screams a second later.

But the way Harry's face lit up as he said it was what really caught Louis’ attention.

“Love you too,” Harry said softly, trying to bite back his widening grin as he dipped his head and kissed his boyfriend.

Louis swears he could spend forever just kissing Harry, being in his arms and hearing him whisper “I love you” over and over again. But right now they were in front of thousands of people and cameras that were recording their every move for a movie so maybe this wasn’t the best place to start snogging.

“Alright love, let’s finish it out.”

Harry grinned down at Louis, pecking his lips one final time before finally pulling away and hearing the start to the next song. And of course as they sang and walked around stage they teased and poked fun at each other, but it still all sounded great. Harry couldn’t ask for a better night, just seeing Louis so happy and smiling from ear to ear was amazing. But there was still something Harry had to do, and after their final song and Louis said his goodbyes to the crowd he immediately felt his nerves pick up at what he was about to do, about to ask his boyfriend.

Louis felt like he was coming off a high as he walked off stage, catching his breath and unable to wipe his smile away as he looked around for the kids. He wasn’t able to glimpse at them when he was on stage with Harry and still he couldn’t find them.

“Hey Clara, do you know where Paul took the kids? He has them right?” he asked with a touch of worry in his voice.

“Yeah, yeah, he has them,” Clara nodded. “But uhm, Lou  just need you to stay here until Harry is done okay? After he comes off I’ll take you right to them.”

“Well they’re okay right? I mean I thought they were gonna watch the show right here? Why did Paul-”

“Louis it’s fine, everything is more than fine,” Clara tried to reassure him, seeing the younger lad a second away from freaking out. “Harry comes off in 5 after a quick announcement, just wait till then.”

Louis furrowed his eyebrows, Harry never mentioning anything about an announcement, he thought the younger lad just had one more song and he was done. But nevertheless, he nodded at Clara anyway, trusting her with whatever was going on before he turned back towards the stage to watch the green eyed lad finish up the concert.

Harry glanced over at the side of the stage, seeing Louis watching him happily and he swears he’s never been so nervous in his life. His hands were shaking, heart racing and palms sweating but everything was going to be perfect, he knew it would be.

The kids were where they needed to be, as was his mates and family, the crowd was ready and so were the large screens behind. Now all Harry had to do was finish this song up and it was time. He’s been waiting what feels like forever to do this, and now that is was time… Well God, he just couldn’t wait.

“Alright so uhm, as all of you have seen on the video I posted last week I have a surprise,” Harry said, earning loud screams from the crowd, but when he looked over at Louis again, this time, he looked confused. “I hope you all remember what you’re supposed to do, let’s make this special,” he said through a soft smile as he slung his guitar over his shoulder. “Lou, babe, could I get you back out here?”

Harry watched as Louis slowly made his way back on stage, looking more lost as the seconds wore on but he just couldn’t wipe his smile away.

Louis looked at his boyfriend confused but he wasn’t even halfway to him before he heard him strumming and the crowd clapping. He looked out to everyone, furrowing his eyebrows as it wasn’t a normal on the beat clap but one that was clearly rehearsed. But it was when he saw the younger lad walking towards him and when he [heard Harry’s voice over the speaker](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ond_J5BwwgY) did he feel his breath fall short.

**Could you see yourself growing old with me, watching my hair turn to grey?**

**Could you live with me and my mistakes and the ones I have yet to make?**

And it was only a second later Louis heard more voices, jumping at the noise but feeling himself still as he saw some of his students come onto stage and singing the chorus along with Harry. But it wasn’t only them, it was the entire stadium singing this song he’s never heard before, all of them knowing the words.

**So when our eyes have seen their better days, and our hearing starts to fade**

**Put your arms ‘round my neck, and your heart on my chest**

**“I love you" will still sound the same**

**“I love you" will still sound the same**

Louis had no idea what was going on, unable to stop his wide smile as he saw his students, and Harry was walking towards him as he sang, looking like any second he could burst with happiness. He had no idea how this stadium full of people could possibly know this song, how Harry could have orchestrated this but it was more than amazing, Louis didn’t know what to do with himself.

**I can see out dreams inside of a child, long after ours fade away**

**When our rings start to rust and our skin starts to age, remember the promise we made**

And again the chorus came, this time, Louis’ eyes catching on the huge screens behind him and how there were videos playing. Videos of fans around the world singing this song along with Harry and at the sight Louis had to put a hand over his mouth. It was clear the younger lad had put this together, that he had done all of this for him, but why? He didn’t understand.

And Louis only grew more confused as he saw Ed come onto the stage, strumming and singing along with Harry and the rest of the stadium. He looked all around, having no idea what was happening but he couldn’t wipe the smile off his face at what he was hearing, what he was seeing. But that was just before he caught Harry’s eye, he saw him taking off his guitar and pointing down to the crowd.

Louis’ eyes followed where he was pointing and nearly gasped as he saw all of their mates and family in the crowd cheering and clapping with Holden, Bennett, and Riley in their arms. Now he was extremely confused, having no clue what Harry was up to, but now he understood that this is what the younger lad has been planning, what he’s been hiding from him. And just as he looked back to his boyfriend, the music still loud and everyone singing he opened and closed his mouth, needing to understand what was going on. But Harry shook his head at him, smiling gently before the music slowed slightly, the lights went down and his boyfriend turned him so he was facing the audience.

**When the bills pile up and time tests our love, we’ll stay forever in love**

**We’ll stick to our guns, our grip won’t loosen up when we say forever ain’t enough**

Louis swallowed thickly as he saw the floor of the crowd holding up signs that said “Say Yes” but he didn’t understand, say yes to what? That was until he looked up and saw the rest of the crowd, little lights like stars in the audience and entire stadium that spelt out “Marry Me?” in huge letters.

Louis stilled completely, slowly covering his mouth with his hand as he felt tears pool his eyes and heard the song still playing, saw the words that made his heart stop. And sure enough, when he managed to turn around there was Harry, [down one knee with a box holding a ring](https://67.media.tumblr.com/7b8823a6a3e2ee371ea0408f12e33a0d/tumblr_o7apmxjhFo1tqp428o1_400.jpg), himself looking close to tears.

Louis almost choked on air as he saw the ring and felt tears on his cheeks, but it was only a second later he was nodding, managing out a barely audible “yes” before Harry stood up, wrapped his arms around the older lad and crashed their lips together.

The song hit the chorus again and above them fireworks were going off as they kissed, and Louis couldn’t believe it. Harry was kissing him with so much love, holding onto him like he never wanted to let go again. And it wasn’t until the song ended did the younger lad finally let him go, all around them was screaming and yelling, fireworks still going off and cameras that were recording the scene. But Louis didn’t focus on that, instead, he shakily brought up his hand and watched as Harry slipped the ring onto his finger, wondering how he lasted so long without it there before.

After all these years, after the heartaches, the fights, the good times and bad, and several kids later they were finally getting married.

*~*

**1 ½ Years Later (June)**

Louis let out a deep breath as he looked at himself in the mirror, [his suit finely pressed](https://66.media.tumblr.com/1ac472c14b65897c94ce3dedee530cb0/tumblr_o7apo0zPaq1tqp428o1_540.jpg) and hair styled the way Harry loved it. After all this planning, after all this time he wanted this to be perfect, wanted this to be a day they would never forget.

“You look amazing mate.”

Louis smiled back at Zayn as he felt his hand gently squeeze his shoulder and give him a reassuring grin. “You know how I worry,” he said through a nervous laugh, running his hand over the front of his suit for the thousandth time. “Do you know if everything is ready? And what about the kids? Does Anne still have them and was she able to get Riley into her dress?”

“Trust me Lou, it’s all perfect,” Zayn chuckled. “Niall texted me saying everything is set up and beautiful, Anne has the kiddos and that tyrant of a daughter of yours is even in her little dress.”

And again all Louis could do was release a breath he didn’t know he was holding and nodded to himself.

“C’mon relax Lou, you’ll start sweating through your suit.”

“Well I can’t help it,” Louis huffed, straining himself so he wouldn’t start pacing. “We’ve been planning this day for over a year, and after everything that’s happened between us I just… I want it to be perfect for him.”

“And it will be,” Zayn said through a soft smile as he grabbed Louis’ shoulders and forced him to stay in place. “You have your vows and everything?”

Louis bit his lip, trying to stop his widening grin as he pat his breast pocket. “Hopefully he’ll like them, I mean I really-”

“Louis! Please relax, my God!” Zayn laughed, seeing the older a lad a second away from freaking out again. “You could walk down the aisle in your underwear and be getting married in a parking lot and Harry wouldn’t care about anything of that because you’re finally getting married, just breathe!”

Louis nodded to himself, thinking that was more than true. While they were planning the wedding Harry was always right there, giving his opinion about everything and anything. No matter what today would be perfect, because after all this time, after all the waiting and planning they were getting married.

_Meanwhile with Harry_

“Oh come on!” Harry groaned, trying over and over again to get this one piece of hair to stay in place.

“Mate, relax, geez,” Niall huffed, bringing over a can of hair spray and fixing the younger lad’s hair. “If this is the only thing that goes wrong today you can say that you had an awesome fuckin day.”

“No matter what it’s gonna be an awesome day Ni,” Harry laughed, [making sure his bowtie was straight](https://66.media.tumblr.com/8178c2ffbd24c3a9375696b4966b5288/tumblr_o7apnalCqy1tqp428o1_540.jpg) before letting out a soft breath. “I’m getting married…”

Niall looked over at his best mate and couldn’t stop his own growing smile as he saw Harry ducking his head sheepishly, trying to hide his blush. “I’m proud of you mate.”

Harry couldn’t help himself as he wrapped his arms around Niall, not sure if he would ever be able to tell him how grateful he was for his friendship after all these years, how he’s stuck by him no matter what.

“Alright H, you finally get your hair done?” Ed asked teasingly as he came into the room. “It’s time boys, let’s get out there and do this thing.”

Harry rolled his eyes as he let go of Niall, letting out one more deep breath as he tried to calm his racing heart. “Alright, let’s go get married.”

The two smiled at the curly haired lad before making their way out of the room, and the entire time they were walking Harry was trying desperately to control his breathing. It wasn’t that he was nervous, not in the slightest. But today after years, after everything he and Louis have been through they're getting married, and Harry wasn’t sure if he could last another second without a ring on his finger, if as soon as he saw the older lad walking down the aisle he wouldn’t just scream “I do!” at him.

As soon as they were outside in the garden where the ceremony was taking place Ed and Niall made sure to give Harry a hug, whispering their good lucks before finding their seats.

Harry didn’t walk down the aisle though, instead he just stood there for a moment and took everything in, saw the coral colored flowers that matched his bow tie line along the aisle, and the white chairs that were occupied by their guests.

The sun was shining, the air warm and all around him he could smell flowers. The little alcove they were in was surrounded by so many beautiful flowers and trees, but what really caught Harry’s attention was the arch at the end of the aisle, decorated by tree branches and twigs, looking so natural and gorgeous, he’d have to tell Louis he was right in picking that one out.

Harry just took it all in, sucked in a deep breath and couldn’t fight off his smile as he slowly walked down the aisle and nodded and said hi to some of their guests. All he wanted to do was remember all of this, remember how he felt in this moment and never let it go. The way the piano was softly ringing through the air as he walked along the aisle almost made him want to cry, he couldn’t believe this was happening, he was actually get married.

As soon as Harry got to his spot under the arch he crossed his hands together in front of him, letting out another deep breath and trying to bite back his smile so his face wouldn't rip in half. Everyone in their seats were taking pictures and smiling at him, but Harry had his gaze focused at the other end of the aisle, wanting to see his fiance as soon as he stepped outside. And he was grateful it was only minutes later he saw Zayn coming down the aisle and taking his seat next to Charlie in the front row, signalling it was time, Louis was about to come out.

Harry let out one final deep breath, glancing down at his shoes as he heard the piano change it’s song and looking back to the aisle, only having to hide his laugh behind his hand as he saw the twins walking down the aisle.

The 2 year olds wobbled down the aisle with binkies in their mouths, looking more and more confused as the seconds went on. Riley with her long and dark curly hair and bright blue eyes that seemed to shine in her dress and her brother right next to her wearing a matching suit to his papa’s. Bennett was carrying the pillow that had the rings while Riley had her basket full of flowers, but of course she didn’t want them and instead turned to her brother, took the pillow from him and passed him the basket instead. Bennett had no problem with that though, now being able to reach into the basket and throw the flowers above his head and giggle as they fell on him.

“Papa!” Riley shrieked as soon as she saw her father, running as fast as he little legs could carry her.

Everyone in their seats couldn’t help but awe and coo at the toddlers as they saw them running down the aisle, completely forgetting their jobs  as they attacked their papa in a hug.

“Monsters! You did so good!” Harry said, scooping the twins up and kissing them all over their little faces. “So beautiful little girl, and you my handsome man, you look just like your pop,” he said, squeezing them both and giving them each one more kiss before setting them down. “Go sit with aunt Gemma and nana, okay?”

The two nodded and scurried over to their seats, Bennett making sure to keep the basket so he could play with the flowers.

Harry just watched them for a second, unable to get over how cute the twins were, how happy they were all the time. But they could only have his attention for so long before he turned to look back down at the aisle, next coming down was Holden and Harry couldn’t believe how handsome the 7 year old looked, he really was his father’s son. But of course as soon as Bennett saw his big brother coming down he was squealing and yelling “H! H!” as he waved at his best buddy. And Holden blushed, smiling at his baby brother and waving back at him before he walked up to his pop and gave him a big hug.

“Good luck pop, you’ll need it,” he teased. “Try not to cry, alright?”

“We all know that won’t happen,” Harry said through his own laugh, hugging his son back and kissing the top of his head. “But thank you buddy, love you.”

“Love you too,” Holden grinned softly back at him giving him one more squeeze before taking a seat next to his brother, the 2 year old immediately climbing into his lap.

Harry knew this was it, that any second Louis would be coming down, that after so long he could finally say “I do”. And he was right because just as he was trying to even his breathing the [piano changed again](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N1K6AxrhIGY), and when Harry picked his head up and looked to the end of the aisle there he was.

As soon as green met blue Harry couldn’t help his wide smile, the older lad looking more gorgeous than he ever has before in his suit, and God, he couldn’t wait to marry him. What made it all perfect though was the way Louis was looking back at him, almost like he was too good to be real, like he was the luckiest man in the world. And at the sight Harry felt his eyes pooling with tears because he didn’t deserve this, he didn’t deserve this man in his life, and yet here he was about to marry him.

Harry wanted to scream at the top of his lungs that this was going to be his husband, that this beautiful and caring man walking towards him was going to be his for forever. But instead he wiped away the tears that fell onto his cheeks and let out a watery chuckle as he saw Louis blushing and furiously trying to hold back his own tears. When he got to Harry though he let them slip, looked down as his soon to be husband carefully took his hand and looked at him like none of this was real, like his wildest dreams were coming true.

“I love you,” Harry barely whispered, taking both of Louis’ hands once he was in front of him and giving them a light squeeze.

“I love you too,” and God did Louis just want to grab his face and kiss him, and after all these years be able to yell and scream and tell everyone he knew that this incredible man in front of him was his husband.

But instead he stood there with Harry’s hands in his and just looked at him. If the priest was talking neither of them would have noticed, they were too consumed with one another. And it was only when the pair heard someone clearing their throat did they take their eyes off each other, only to hear their family and mates laughing from their seats, and Harry and Louis realized it was time for vows.

“Louis did you write your vows?”

“Uhm yeah, yeah,” he nodded sheepishly, but just as he was about to reach for his inside jacket pocket he stopped himself, knowing that just looking at Harry he would say everything he wanted to.

“Harry I… From the first second I saw you I knew there was something about you, something I wanted… But it turns out it wasn’t just something, it was you, you were all I wanted. It may have taken me a little bit to admit to myself, but once I did from that moment on I’ve been falling deeper and deeper in love with you. And there were definitely times when I wanted to hate you, I loved the thought of hating you but I didn’t, I never could, not even a little bit, not at all,” Louis said through a watery chuckle, taking one of his hands out of Harry’s just so he could wipe his eyes.

“It’s okay love,” Harry said softly, gently running his thumb over Louis’ cheek and feeling the older lad kiss his palm and nod against him.

“But just… God, I love you,” Louis breathed out, his smile so wide it made his eyes crinkle. “And I promise as each day passes I will love you the way you deserved to be loved. I will be your best friend, a shoulder to cry on, your voice of reason and your partner in crime… But most importantly I promise to be your husband and stand by you no matter what life throws our way. No matter how hard it gets, if we’re trying I’m staying.”

Harry couldn’t help himself as he just nodded, choking back tears and hiccuping to himself as he heard the older lad. He just wanted to kiss him, he wanted to scream at the top of his lungs how much he loved him. Harry wasn’t even sure if words could come out with how much he was crying though, Louis wiping his wet cheeks and whispering to him “I love you” and “It’s okay”.

“Harry, you ready for your vows?”

Harry let out a deep breath as he nodded, but he probably looked like a right mess though. He swears he’s never been happier than in this moment, it was finally time.

“Louis I have a confession to make, and what better time to tell it at our wedding and in front of all of our family and friends?” he saw the older lad look at him confused, and just at his face Harry couldn’t help but bite his lip sheepishly. “On the first day of our creative writing class we had assigned seats… And I may stolen someone’s seat just so I could be next to you.”

It was almost immediate there were loud laughs coming from their family and friends, Louis looking at him wide eyed and trying to cover up his own laughter.

“I walked into that lecture room and the first thing I saw was you, and from that moment on I knew I had to meet you, had to talk to you. You were so cute worrying over your pens and notebooks and I swear when I actually managed to utter anything to you I sounded like a right idiot, but it got you smiling so I didn’t care. And it was then that I decided that I needed you… I had to be the one to make you smile and laugh, the one to make you happy because I can never get enough of you. So from this day on until forever I promise to be the person you can come to for anything. I promise to be your safe place and to encourage, support and believe in you no matter what. And lastly I promise myself to you and our kids, and I will be my absolute best at all times, no matter how hard times get. Finally after all this time I can finally say I’m forever yours.”

Harry squeezed Louis’ hands as he saw the older lad trying to gather himself, but there was no point, they were both crying messes. But finally, the moment Harry has been waiting for was here, and at that thought he was nearly bouncing in his shoes.

“Can we please have the rings?”

The pair looked over to the twins, not sure who actually had the pillow at this point but as soon as Bennett heard the priest he hopped off his brother's lap and grabbed the pillow from his sister. And of course it was only a second later Riley was whining, wanting the pillow back, but Bennett wasn’t having any of it.

“No! Job!” the 2 year old said, pointing to himself and walking over to his daddies happily, passing them the pillow.

“Thank you Benji,” Louis laughed, bending down and kissing his son’s head before he scurried back over to Holden.

The two got the rings and as soon as they looked back to each other they couldn’t contain their excitement. The only thing going through their heads was “finally” over and over again.

“Louis do you take Harry Edward Styles as your lawful husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and cherish until death do you part?"

Louis let out a deep breath, his smile unmissable as he nodded and said a soft “I do” before he felt the younger lad slipping the ring on his finger.

“Harry do you take Louis William Tomlinson as your lawful husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and cherish until death do you part?"

Harry didn’t mean it, he really didn’t as he basically yelled “I do!!” making Louis jump and all of their family and friends laugh in their seats. His hand was nearly shaking as Louis tried to put the ring on his finger, but as soon as he saw it on him he didn’t waste a second before grabbing his husband, pulling him into his chest and crashing their lips together.

“Well then, I guess I now pronounce you Louis and Harry Tomlinson-Styles!”

The pair laughed against each other, hearing everyone clapping and cheering, but they refused to release one another. After so many years, after everything they’ve been through they were married, actually married.

*~*

Harry sat back in his seat as he just looked around the [reception area](https://67.media.tumblr.com/a3103d23cf191e0c8faa87b5a0defa76/tumblr_o7apnmxL4I1tqp428o1_540.jpg), still wanting to take everything in. He had a ring on his finger and all night he couldn’t help but stare at it, unable to grasp that he was married to the love of his life, the father of his children and that he was lucky enough to have the life he did.

So far the night has been more than amazing, from his and Louis’ first dance to a song Ed wrote and sang for them to his husband shoving cake in his face after they cut a piece of it. Of course Harry got him right back, giving him a sloppy kiss all over his face and making the older lad squirm and laugh, but hey, at least they got some pretty funny pictures out of it.

The pair had danced with their kids, or in Bennett’s and Riley’s case they were just hopping around and sucking on their binkies while Holden showed everyone his “moves”. And Harry couldn’t believe this was going to be the rest of his life. His kids, husband and family by his side, surrounded by their mates and everyone they loved, this was their future and it was everything and more Harry ever could have dreamt of.

And when Harry pushed himself out of his seat and walked towards his family on the dance floor he still couldn’t believe it. Louis had the twins on his hips, dancing to the music like no one was watching as the 2 year olds giggled and squealed in their daddy’s arms and Holden was all over the place, dancing just like his father. Harry went right up to them, probably dancing worse than anyone there, but he only thought about one thing. It’s been nearly 10 years… 10 years later, and Harry finally had everything he's ever wanted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here it is, the final chapter !! I'm so sad this story is over, but luckily there are plenty more to come !! Follow me on [tumblr](http://lhstylinson9193.tumblr.com/) to see what I'll be writing next or subscribe to me to get more fics ! I hope you have enjoyed reading this as much as I have writing it :) Leave comments, share opinions, and for the last time, thanks !! Xx


End file.
